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Despite being centuries years old and possessing a great intelligence and vast knowledge; Fyodor was dealing with boredom.
But all of sudden, it was as if he were struck by an illumination, a realization that made him rethink his entire plans.
Why struggling with law when you can just eat the man’s rights declaration ?
Fyodor called Nikolai and Sigma in order to prepare that mission.
Sigma was bewildered, “Are you dead serious right now ? I ain’t coming with y’all.”
Nikolai chuckled and ruffled Sigma’s hair “You’re no fun…”
Sigma, utterly confused, slapped Nikolai hand out of his hair and stared at both of them as if they were lobotomized rats “Yeah, Fyodor randomly decided on a Saturday morning to eat the man’s rights declaration ! What kind of facial expression am I even supposed to have after hearing that ?”
Despite Sigma complaints, Nikolai and Fyodor actually managed to find the document.
Fyodor was munching on the document with a disgusted expression, “What an abhorrent flavor. Nobody with a decent palate would ever taste this cheap dish of ink and paper.”
Sigma was desperate, he was sitting in a corner, knees brought to his chest “I hope you get a parasite from eating this”
A guy in a police uniform arrived and started to chase them, both Nikolai and Fyodor ran away, but Sigma stayed, accepting his fate.
Few days later, Fyodor was ill, which was expected after gobbling 19 sheets of paper.
Nikolai finally admitted that this was going too far “POP QUIZ !! WAS WHAT WE DID THE WORST IDEA DOWN TO EARTH ?”
Fyodor turned to Nikolai, he was literally vomiting blood and already half dying “Well, Kolya, at least I now I can commit crimes if there is no rights declaration.”
Nikolai, for once, actually looked serious “Fedya…maybe that’s not how that works…”
One minute of silence for Fyodor’s last brain cell