Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Tell me, Dwalin, have you ever thought of getting married?” Ori asked.

Dwalin threw him a surprised look. His brother (sworn brother, really, but what difference did it make?) had suggested they went for a walk outside the mountain, as they often did after their day of work, but he had been terribly nervous the whole time, and had barely said anything, until that question.

It was a question Dwalin was used to, but usually it came from people who were interested in potentially getting married to him some day. Since Ori was already married to the young princess Fili, and bedding her sister Kili, that wasn't the explanation this time.

“I've never thought of it that much,” he admitted, hoping that would be enough to sate the other's curiosity.

It wasn't.

“Why is that?” Ori asked, looking sincerely curious.

Dwalin hesitated. He never liked having to explain that. It wasn't that he was of those dwarves who were dedicated to their craft only. He liked the companionship, liked it very much indeed, but the physicality of things had never had any appeal to him.

“I'm just not the sort,” he eventually explained. “I've never been interested in taking lovers, and I can't see myself taking any in the future.”

“Ah, yes. Good. Very good.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I have a service to ask of you,” Ori mumbled, blushing. “It's not just a service to me, see. It's for Kili too.”

“What about Kili?”

“She says she doesn't mind,” Ori continued, ignoring the question. “But I do, because I know what it's like, and I can't make anyone live like that, no after what's happened to me, and it's just not faire, and I feel so bad about it all, and...”

Dwalin put his hands on his brother's shoulder.

“Ori, lad, calm down, and tell me what's going on.”

“Kili's pregnant,” the scholar whined, looking terrified. “It's my fault, there's been a night when we had had too much to drink the three of us, and we forgot to... to be careful, and now she's pregnant!”

For a moment, Dwalin failed to see how that was a problem. Everyone knew that Ori was in a relation with both the princesses, everyone that mattered at least, and it was unlikely that Dis or Thorin would yell much. They'd probably be glad to have an heir to the line, even one who was not entirely on the right side of the sheets.

But then, he remembered that Ori was a child born of an unwed mother, and whose entire childhood had been tainted by it.

“The child won't be treated like a bastard, lad,” Dwalin assured him. “Not the child of a princess.”

“You can't be sure of that. My mother was of noble blood, but once she had Nori...”

“Noble isn't the same as being royalty.”

“But what if it happens again?” Ori insisted. “I love her, just as much as I love Fili, and the risk is real, and they would forgive her one child maybe, but not two, and I can't do that to her! I can't... I can't let her become like my mother!”

“And what do you propose to do, then?”

Ori looked down, clearly embarrassed.

“I was thinking... well, we were thinking, because it's Kili who came up with the idea, really... But we thought, if we could find a dwarf we trust, someone who would agree to marry her and to officially be her children's father, even if... even if she'd never actually share his bed.”

“Are you saying you want me to marry Kili?”

“If... you said you weren't interested in lovers, and... we talked about it, the three of us, and you're the only one we'd trust enough for that. You don't have to! We'd never force you! Only, it's you, or it's nobody, because Kili... well, you know Kili.”

Dwalin sniggered. He knew Kili, indeed. She'd never been interested in lovers either, claiming high and strong that she'd never marry, never have children, that she had better things to do than fall in love. Until she had met Ori. And she'd have been the one to marry him, probably, if Fili hadn't been involved too. Fili who, as the heir, couldn't have afforded to take the risk of having children without a father.

“Kili trusts you,” Ori insisted. “And I... I know it's a lot to ask, but...”

“I'll do it.”

“You will?”

Dwalin nodded.

“I'll be glad to help you three young idiots.”

“Oh, thank you so much!” Ori cried. “That's... thank you, thank you so much!”

His brother only smiled in answer. He could imagine a worse future than taking care of Kili and Ori's children, and Fili's if she ever had any.

He'd always liked being around kids anyway.

Chapter Text

Dwalin had been left alone with Kili because, and to quote her words she would ‘fucking kill Ori and Fee if they come anywhere near me, this is all their bloody fault, I swear I’m cutting down Ori’s stones and hammer next time I see him, that’s all he deserves the bloody wanker’.

There were dwarrowdams who took to pregnancy with charm and patience, and it made them more beautiful than ever.

Kili wasn’t one of them.

She’d been nothing short of murderous lately, because bearing a child meant she was no longer allowed to do any of her favourite things. No more sparring, no more shooting, not more climbing on the mountain to see what flower or rare plant she’d find on the surface.

Dis had tried to suggest she should see this as a chance to have a few more lady-like activities, such as embroidery, or drawing, or working copper. The princess had tried. They had soon agreed she should never try it again.

So there she was, bored out of her wits, restless, still two months away from term and with nothing better to do than to look out the window and wait for the day to end, just as she’d been doing for weeks now.

Dwalin felt sorry for her, he really did. Even if their marriage was a sham, he liked the girl, had know her most of her life, and he truly wanted to help her. He just didn’t know how.

“It’s not fair you know,” she grumbled suddenly. “I don’t even want kids. Never wanted them. It’s Fee who wants babies, and with Ori they’ve been trying since they got wed, all for nothing so far. But one time I forget to be careful, one, and of course it would have to be the wrong time. I don’t want kids. I’ll be a terrible mother.”

“No you won’t,” Dwalin assured her. “Any kid would want a mom who can tell them how to break a Man’s knee in a fight, and who has stories about killing orcs and wargs. I’d have loved a mom like that, at least. Mine tried to make me wear nice clothes and always complained that I’d ruin them when I went playing.”

Kili snorted. “Ma was like that with me. Well, with Fee too, but she managed to be... not quite as bad as me, whereas I ruined every single dress I had. It’s just... dresses are pretty but not all that practical, you know? Such a bother. I’ll take a good pair of trousers any day.”

“Can only agree on that. Anyone who wears a dress has my respect, especially if there’s a corset involved. These things are Morgoth’s design, I swear. Wore one once, because I had lost a bet. Never again, I swear.”

And that had the princess laughing, for the first time in days. Glad of his success, Dwalin decided to tell her the whole story of the bet, and by the end of it, she had tears running down her face and could hardly breathe.

“I can’t believe you and uncle would do something so stupid,” she gasped. “Oh, that was... even the baby’s laughing, I swear!”

“It’s moving?”

She nodded, and rose from her chair as swiflty as she could in her state, walking toward him with a huge grin. “Wanna try to feel it? It’s kicking like crazy, again. It’ll be like more than like Ori, that one.”

Dwalin hesitated. Kili had always made it clear to everyone around her that people were not invited to touch at all, let alone touch her stomach these days, and even Fili and Ori were clearly careful about any physical contact, avoiding it if they felt she was in a bad mood. Which was to say, they avoided it at all times.

She felt his hesitation of course, and laughing once more, she grabbed his hand to put it on her belly.

“You’re going to be it’s dad,” she explained with a smirk. “It needs to get to know you, doesn’t it? So hey, baby, here’s your other daddy. He’s huge and he looks scary, but he’ll be very nice to you, and he’ll probably be much better and giving hugs and kisses than me, so you’d better get used to him already.”

As if in reaction to this declaration, Dwalin felt movement against his hand, and he couldn’t help a smile.

“It likes you,” Kili declared with assurance. “It knows I hate it, so he’s trying to get your attention and affection instead, smart thing.”

“Do you really hate that child?” Dwalin asked, throwing her a worried look.

She shrugged. “I hate being pregnant more than I hate the baby as such,” she explained. “It’ll probably be better once it’s here... but I just hate being like this so much, and not being able to do anything, and having Fili and Ori avoid me because... because I’ve yelled at them so much that they’re afraid of me... And don’t say they’re not. They are, and they’re right to be. I’ve said such awful things to Ori... as if he didn’t feel bad enough about all this already... You know, he cried when I told him I was with child... I mean, I wasn’t too happy either, but he just panicked and cried and we just couldn’t get him into bed with us, not for weeks...”

That wasn’t exactly a surprise, Dwalin thought. Ori had still looked panicked when he’d come to him to suggest their little arrangement. Some days, the warrior wondered what Ori would have done if he had refused to marry Kili... and the answer rarely pleased him. Knowing the scribe, he’d most likely have adopted the child before breaking off his relationship with Kili, even though his bond with her had always been even stronger than with Fili.

“He knows what it’s like to be a bastard, he didn’t want that for you or any child of yours.”

“he’s an idiot, and I don’t care what people would have said!” Kili grumbled. “I can’t believe I’ve ended up marrying just so he would stop freaking out! I love him, but sometimes... At least, I’ve always gotten along fine with you, so that’s something, but if Ori goes back to being an idiot and refusing to touch me even after the baby’s born, I swear I’ll kill him!”

Fearing a fit of anger, Dwalin withdrew his hand from her stomach and tried to look for an idea to distract her from... everything, really. The idea was quick to find.

“Say, lass, have you visited Bombur’s place lately?” he asked. “I hear he’s got a new chicken recipe, something he makes with spices that Nori brought him from his latest travels... Normally it costs an arm and a lung, but I’m sure if we go and ask very nicely, he’ll make us some.”

“Am I even allowed spices?” Kili grumbled. “Because trust me, the number of things I can’t have...”

“Bom’s wife is just as pregnant as you are, and she samples all of his cooking, so I’d say it’s safe. Come one lass. I’ve got to show off my pretty young wife, or people will start thinking I’m keeping you prisoner. Poor wee delicate thing like you, it’d be so easy, wouldn’t it?”

In answer, Kili burst out laughing, and Dwalin soon joined her.

“Alright, let’s do that,” she decided. “Should I put a nicer dress on, or do you think I can go there with... this? It’s not very pretty, but it’s the only thing I have that’s actually comfortable, so...”

“Lass, you’re a princess. A pregnant princess. No one will dare to say a thing about your dress, and if they do, I’ll teach them to insult my wife.”

“Let’s go then!” Kili exclaimed, taking Dwalin’s hand and dragging him toward the door.

He smiled at seeing her so cheerful again, and allowed himself to be led wherever she wanted. As long as she was happy, he didn’t really mind.