Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Fuck you Dad!”

“You know what Craig!? You’re not even my damn kid! Your damn whore of a mother cheated on me the night before our wedding! I don’t have to take care of you. Get out of my fucking house! No one wants you, you fucked up bastard! Not your real father, your mother, OR me!”

————————-

The icy words cut through Craig’s mind, stinging him deeper than the crisp September weather that, for the universal reason of punishing the teenager even more, decided to be colder this year than normal. It was only five in the afternoon, but judging from the dark clouds rolling in, it would soon rain and bring the temperature down even further.

Two weeks. Two weeks ago, Craig Tucker’s life had decided to take a sharp turn that left the teen currently cold, hungry, and living under the bridge closest to the school, his meager possessions filling up two trash bags and his school backpack. In retrospect, he was glad he insisted on Ruby taking his current guinea pig, Streak, with her when his sister and mom had moved out and had moved in with Brian in North Park.

Craig sighed and stared at his drying chullo and pulled his jacket hood up, cursing himself for deciding to take his beloved hat off in the locker room for gym which ended in Cartman stealing it and somehow getting completely soaked. He ended up finally getting it back and willed himself not to retaliate against the fat fuck, for fear of getting detention, something that Craig desperately did not need due to his current situation.

Craig’s stomach grumbled and the teen clenched his fist, trying to ebb the empty feeling away, wishing he hadn’t relented in giving back the fruit cup he had stolen off of Clyde’s lunch tray. Damn Donovan and his fucking puppy dog eyes. Normally Craig didn’t care about the look his best friend gave him as he stole food off his tray, more so lately, but his recent foggy brain couldn’t bare to see the stocky teen sad. Craig really hoped he wasn’t getting sick. Brain fogginess usually happened to him when that happened.

The teen stood up and carefully looked around before fully emerging from under the bridge. The was no way in hell he was about to let anyone in South Park save for the bastard that kicked him out know that he was homeless. His pride was too ingrained for him to ask for any kind of help, even fully knowing that his two best friends, Clyde and Token, would probably do everything they could to help.

Well…Token would, since he was the richest kid in school, but Craig already knew Token would be a bit smug about helping “those less fortunate” than himself. The teen had always felt self-conscious about the fact that Token and his family would go all out on sleepovers and parties stemming back from when they were all younger.

Clyde…Clyde was another story. Clyde Donovan had always been and would always be a crier. Craig surmised that if his best friend found out about his living conditions, the world would drown in the amount of tears coming out of the brunette. Plus, Clyde and his father were on a tight budget ever since Clyde’s mother had died. There would be no way he could impose on the Donovan family.

Nope. Craig had to keep his situation to himself, at least until he somehow got a job that he could handle on top of school and save the money for an acceptable place to live or the unlikely situation of his mother and her new boyfriend letting Craig move in as well. His former non-father letting the teen come back was completely out of the equation and going on a soul searching quest to find his real father scared the shit out of him. He clearly remembered all that Cartman went through on his quest to find his and knowing the batshit fuckery South Park was known for, his real father could be anyone from Stan Marsh’s father to one of those Crab People. He could even be his own father, now THAT would be extremely fucked up.

God he was hungry. Glancing around one last time to make sure no one was around, the teen began the trek out to the restaurant district of town. The town had doubled in size since he was a kid and there were a few good restaurants that were bound to have something edible in the dumpsters. As much as he loathed the fact this had been his life for the last two weeks, Craig knew it was the only thing he could do to keep himself from starving.

——————–

McDonald’s and Bennigan’s had been a bust and there was no way he’d even touch the dumpsters at City Wok and Chipotle. Craig actually LIKED his ass and he was pretty sure if people couldn’t stomach the food regularly, then dumpster food topped with dumpster juice would probably melt his organs before it even had the chance to come out of his asshole.

The next acceptable dumpster target was a greasy all-night diner that had been built a few years ago between U-Stor-It and Tweak Bros. Coffee. There would always be someone that complained about their burger after taking one bite and refuse to eat the rest and the fries were decent even when they were cold.

Craig effortlessly and silently lifted the dumpster lid, relieved to see a greasy paper tray with a nearly intact burger and fries on top of the garbage pile. The trash was only halfway full, so the teen had to lean in to grab the food. He was slowly getting better at navigating the dumpsters so he wouldn’t get any garbage juice on his clothes. He was running low on actual clean clothes and was grateful the school locker rooms had showers, otherwise he knew he’d be smelling pretty foul after two weeks of homelessness.

As his feet hit the ground, the teen heard a gasp and the sound of a garbage bag falling on the concrete.

“Cr-Craig?”

Craig whipped his head up and stared wide-eyed into the face of an equally wide-eyed Tweek Tweak.

Shit.

Shitshitshitshitshit.

Craig definitely knew he had been caught and before school ended the next day, everyone in town would know about “poor homeless Craig Tucker” or whatever his last name was eating trash out of the dumpster. Tweek Tweak was NOT known to be able to keep secrets, or keep anything in for that matter. Too much “PRESSURE!!!” as Craig remembered the twitchy blond kid liked to scream back when him, Clyde, and Token hung out with him when they were younger. The kid’s random outbursts and the fear of catching the wrong attention from the older, popular kids in middle school had the three abandoning their friendship with the blond, not inviting him to Token’s 12th birthday party if memory served Craig correctly.

Craig bit back the bile trying to rise up and clenched his unoccupied fist as he stormed up to the twitchy teen. He may be homeless and starving, but he was still one of the more popular kids as well as still having a somewhat reputation as a bully like he had in elementary.

“If you fucking tell ANYONE-”

“Y-You don’t want to eat that Cr-Craig. Th-The guy that ordered that was trying t-to impress his date and put the diner’s extra spicy hot sauce all over it and made a sc-scene about wanting to sue the diner because he couldn’t handle it. The lady came in about thirty minutes ago bi-bitching about her ruined date.”

“What?”

“Y-You can’t handle real spicy food, r-right? Or…or was that Clyde? Sh-shit. I’m sorry… It’s b-been a while…”

Craig stared in disbelief as Tweek mumbled to himself about his, Clyde, and Token’s food preferences, feeling a twinge in his chest hearing the blond remember what foods he liked even after not talking for years when even Clyde couldn’t remember from day to day.

“Tweek, you were right the first time. I don’t like spicy foods.”

The blond snapped his head up, breaking himself out of his thoughts and grabbed the abandoned trash bag and the burger out of Craig’s hands and tossing both in the dumpster behind the coffee shop.

“Um, it’s not a hamburger…but w-we have ham and cheese croissants a-and I just took out a batch of cinnamon crumble muffins from the oven if you-”

“I don’t have any money and I’m not looking for charity Tweek! And I swear if you tell anybody-”

“IT’S -GAH- NOT!”

Both teens jumped a little at the blond’s outburst, Tweek more so than Craig. Tweek pulled a bit on his hair, trying to calm his breathing out before looking back at Craig.

“It’s-It’s not charity. It’s me p-paying you back for you b-buying me that way overpriced coffee when mine spilled at that amusement park we went to.”

Craig looked at the blond in confusion as he racked his dizzying brain on what Tweek was referring to, before finally remembering. “Tweek! Dude, that was what, like 5th grade? Seven years ago!? I completely forgot! You should have!”

Tweek grimaced before looking Craig straight in the eyes. “Please Craig, just…I pr-promise I won’t tell anyone wh-whatever’s going on with you or even ask you what’s up! And the sh-shop’s empty right now, it’s just me, s-so my parents won’t know. ”

Craig stared at Tweek, watching as the teen slowly lowered his gaze, shivering a bit. The threat of rain had caused the sky to grow darker earlier than normal and the temperature had dropped in the time the two were talking. The noirette had a long sleeved shirt on as well as his heavier jacket, but Tweek was only wearing a thin button-up shirt and an apron.

His stomach gave a lurch in pain and Craig sighed. “Fine. And I really mean it Tweek. If anyone finds out…”

“I promise Cr-Craig. I…really don’t have anyone TO tell anyway…”

As Craig followed Tweek into the warm coffee shop, the teen hoped that painful feeling in his stomach was just him being hungry.

——————————–

A ham and cheese croissant turned into two and Craig was pretty sure there HAD to be some sort of drug in the cinnamon muffins to be this good. A large hot chocolate, complete with plenty of whipped cream and chocolate shavings (Tweek STILL remembered Craig’s favorite drink order) completed the teen’s dinner. Craig couldn’t remember the last time he had a hot, fresh meal, even if it was just coffee shop food. He had to pretty much fend for himself even before he was kicked out when his mom and sister left.

There had only been two customers in the time Craig was there, so the two teens were alone the rest of the time. Tweek had busied himself wiping down tables and getting the store ready for the morning, but had come over a few times to see if Craig needed anything. The blond stayed true to his word and didn’t ask why he had found the noirette digging through the dumpsters, but Craig could feel the teen staring at him a few times. He didn’t call Tweek out since he was doing the same thing.

Tweek had mellowed out…a LOT. Craig could still see the teen twitch occasionally, but it was far less than Craig had remembered. The wild look in the blond’s eyes complete with the dark bags underneath and the stuttering was still there as well, but the random screaming outbursts were gone, save for the one the teen had witnessed in the alley. Looking back, the teen realized that Tweek had also been surprised at the outburst.

The blond seemed to curl in on himself, making himself seem smaller, but Craig surmised that if Tweek stood straight, they’d probably be close to the same height. Puberty had seemed to take pity on Tweek and ignore all the case studies of caffeine stunting growth. Tweek was a bit on the thin side, but as Craig helped the teen flip over the chairs in order to mop the floor and seeing how heavy the chairs were, Tweek probably wasn’t a pushover, judging from the effortless way he flipped the chairs.

Craig hadn’t meant to stay this long and certainly didn’t expect himself to help out his former friend closing the shop, but the teen just felt drawn to stay. It was warm in the shop, his stomach was actually full of good food for once, and he was genuinely enjoying Tweek’s company.

He was surprised when Tweek thrust the white bag he had been holding in his hands after Tweek had locked up the shop and the two had began walking to the housing district of South Park.

“It-It’s just a few cinnamon muffins but still…they st-stay fresh and moist for a few days. Spent about a week perfecting the recipe for them so I’m pr-pretty proud of them.”

Craig made sure Tweek was looking at him before giving him a rare smile. “ They ARE amazing! Thanks Tweek. Look…about…what I said…”

The blond gripped his arms and looked down. “I pr-promised you Craig. I won’t tell an-anyone. But…if…if there’s anything I can do…please let me know. I me-mean…I know we haven’t talked in forever…but I still…I still worry about you guys.”

Craig really wished his heart would stop feeling like it was stabbed. “Tweek…”

“I know Cr-Craig. I understand. I understand wh-why you guys stopped being my friend. I was a mess. I st-still am. I honestly don’t blame you. I wouldn’t want to b-be my friend either. But still…I mean it Craig. Even if it’s just a muffin or just letting you st-stay in the shop for a few hours… Anything Craig. Just let me know. No questions asked.”

The dark haired teen took a deep breath and looked back over to the blond. “…Okay.”

The two made their way over the bridge that separated the town, Craig stopping in the middle. Tweek had walked further before realizing the other teen wasn’t beside him.

“Craig?”

Craig grimaced and leaned against the railing. “I…don’t…want to go home yet.”

“But it’s ge-getting colder and I’m sure it’s about to rain! I don’t want you t-to get sick! You really should get home!”

The noirette turned to look at the blond and shrugged. “Uh, home life hasn’t been too great…if you haven’t guessed. Just…I’ll go home soon. Don’t worry.”

“O-Okay… I-I can stay for a little bit if you want. It’s been nice talking with you again. I don’t mind staying up a bit more. Still don’t get much sleep, so it’s no trouble. ”

“Nah Tweek, it wouldn’t be good for you to get sick. Don’t worry about it. I’ll be okay.”

“If…If you’re sure… I guess… S-See you at school tomorrow… or the shop. I mean that Craig.”

The blond turned to leave and Craig’s heart gave another lurch.

“Hey Tweek? You wanna sit with me and the guys tomorrow at lunch? It’s okay if you don’t, but the offer stands if you ever do.”

“I… Are you sure?”

“Yeah. You’re a good friend Tweek. I just…wished I had realized that years ago…”

“Okay. A-About the lunch thing. I-I’ll join you tomorrow. Thank you.”

Craig watched the blond walk away and waited until he couldn’t see Tweek anymore before walking the rest of the way over the bridge and underneath to where his makeshift home was. It had began to mist as Craig was getting ready for bed after making sure his alarm on his phone was set. The phone was in his mom’s name, so he had no fear of it being deactivated, but it needed charging soon. Craig made a note to take his charger with him to the coffee shop the next day. People charged their electronics there all the time.

The temperature dropped a few more degrees as the rain began fully and Craig bundled his blankets tighter around his body, trying to squeeze as much warmth as he could from them and his own body heat and finally fell into a fitful sleep.

————————————-

Craig’s lungs felt on fire as he coughed deeply for the tenth time in a few minutes. He was definitely sick. The rain had fell heavily and dropped the temperature even more than his weather app predicted. Craig knew he needed to try to get to his other blanket or maybe attempt to pull another few shirts on to raise his body heat, but he felt too weak to move.

He had barely been able to move to see what time his dangerous coughing had woken him up. He was surprised it was 3am and also surprised he wasn’t frozen solid or dead. It was so cold. His nose ran with mucus and his eyes were red and blurry with tears from the painful coughing fits. His throat felt swollen and raw. He felt like dying. He probably was going to die. Maybe he really should have told someone about his situation.

Trying in vain to gather up more warmth from his blankets, his delirious and foggy brain came up with the notion that whatever gods were out there were probably laughing at him as he suffered. Of course, they’d give him a bone with what happened last night…only to make things ten times worse. Karma WAS a bitch after all.

Craig thought the muffled voice was just a figment of his sickness addled brain, it was probably that Karma bitch or the god of Schadenfreude laughing at him, but as the voice grew closer, he realized there was someone hovering over him.

The lone streetlamp that did shine a bit of its light underneath to his home barely illuminated whoever was now shaking him as he slowly opened his eyes, the muffed voice seeming more frantic. There was a golden aura around the figure’s darkened face. Didn’t angels have a golden aura around them? That was how they were depicted in all the religious art at the church back when he used to go.

“Are you an angel?”

Craig meant to say that, but he knew whatever he said, the figure probably couldn’t decipher what he meant. He knew it came out horribly mangled if he even DID say it. He might have imagined it, just like he could be imagining being lifted into a warm, solid mass by slender but strong arms.

Warmth. So warm. Whatever was holding him seemed to radiate heat. Craig closed his eyes again and burrowed his face into the cloth that was between him and the heated mass, faintly smelling cinnamon and coffee through his stuffy nose as he drifted back to sleep.

Chapter Text

The one thing Tweek ultimately hated about himself was the intense gut feelings he ended up getting from time to time. Each one he could remember would violently wake him up from the little sleep he got and each one was the same feeling; that something very bad was about to happen.

The first one he vividly remembered having ended with his nine year old self alone in the desert instinctively knowing how to handle a bazooka to save Stan’s fucked up gang when they got kidnapped by George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. Of course he never got thanked for saving them and once Kenny got back in their good graces, (what HAD Kenny even done for them to kick him out of the group anyway?) he had just decided to migrate back to Craig’s group of friends.

Speaking of, the next time was waking up the day of Token’s 12th birthday and ultimately knowing that the friends he had grown up with in elementary school no longer wanted him around. He didn’t blame them. Starting in 5th grade, on the onslaught of puberty, his nervousness and paranoia increased ten-fold. There hadn’t been a day where the blond could remember NOT having a blackout period where he didn’t remember anything.

Which led into his last gut feeling. That one day in the coffee shop, just a few days into the summer after 6th grade ended, where the twelve year old boy had collapsed in the back from a heart attack and had to be rushed to the hospital. That started the chain of events that led to the shop being closed for the summer while him and his parents were sent into rehab for meth addiction.

The rehab, the therapy (both for his mental and physical state), and the CPS classes and visits had nearly taken a toll on the pre-teen. He emerged that summer feeling more like an adult than the nearly thirteen he actually was. Still to this day, he was on at least five medications at any given time and kept his coffee drinking to a minimum, using a set combination of sugar and cream to offset the coffee intake, even though it was ultimately one of the factors that led to his hospital stay.

His parents were surprisingly given custody of him back and kept their business license and realized the second chance they got and cleaned up the shop and actually started making decent coffee that occasionally put Harbucks to shame. Home life had improved and both his parents actually listened to him and stopped filling his head with useless metaphors and worst case scenarios.

Because of the severe addiction to the meth coffee his parents made and his young age, Tweek still suffered from occasional twitching and outbursts and even with the sleep aid he was prescribed, his chronic insomnia still hit him full force more times than he liked.

Which brought Tweek to waking up at 2 am with the worst gut feeling he had ever had, one that forced the teen to hurry to the bathroom to throw up the croissant he had at the coffee shop hours earlier.

As he leaned against the cool tiled wall after rinsing his mouth out, Tweek could still feel like a knife was twisting his guts around. Something was wrong, something bad was going to happen if it wasn’t happening already. And after having one of the best nights he had in a long time with one of his former friends, it felt like Karma really decided to be a huge bitch to him even more than usual.

His thoughts drifted to Craig. The question had been on the tip of his tongue the entire night, but he had promised the teen that he wouldn’t ask it. He wouldn’t ask why Craig Tucker was resorting to digging around in the dumpster for food. He wouldn’t ask on the last time Craig had probably eaten well as he placed the third cinnamon muffin on the table the noirette had sat at after the teen had already inhaled two on top of the two croissants and the hot chocolate he knew Craig liked.

After seeing the fear and desperate look in Craig’s eyes in the back alley, Tweek knew the teen didn’t need confrontation. He needed a friend he could trust. And even though Tweek had repeatedly told the black haired boy he would help, no questions asked, the blond still wondered if Craig believed him on that. At least they had last night. At least Tweek was able to help, even if it would only be a one time thing. But Craig HAD invited him to sit with the group at lunch. Maybe…things were looking up despite the clenching in his guts.

Tweek still felt antsy and hot. He knew there would be no way to go back to sleep before his alarm went off for school. Grabbing his heavier jacket and an umbrella, since the rain that had began pouring since midnight slowed down to a light drizzle, the blond silently walked out the front door to walk the streets to cool off.

——————————————

Tweek stopped in the middle of the bridge that separated the business and residential districts of town and leaned against the side, nearly in the spot where he had left Craig earlier in the night. The temperature was a bit colder than he realized and the blond shivered, pulling the zipper up on his jacket.

The teen stood there, staring at the creek as the rain plopped into the water when he was startled by a harsh coughing from underneath the bridge. His heart skipped a beat and he tried to control his panicked breathing as he debated on whether to walk away slowly or make a run for it. While he wasn’t worried about being abducted, he still didn’t want whoever was under the bridge to know he was there.

The coughing continued and a brief memory flashed in his head. The coughing sounded familiar. The familiar gut wrenching came back and cautiously, Tweek walked to the edge of the bridge and slowly made his way underneath.

No.

No, it couldn’t be.

That shivering lump on the ground couldn’t be…

“Craig!”

Tweek dropped his umbrella and rushed to the lump, calling out Craig’s name as he shook the teen, hoping that he wasn’t too late since he had just heard his violent coughing. The blond breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Craig weakly open his eyes and look at him.

“…angel?”

It was barely a whisper and Tweek could hear the rattle in Craig’s voice with the few words the blond wasn’t able to make out. Craig shivered again and Tweek wasted no time in picking up the teenager, pulling him as close to his body as he could as he made his way back up the incline, noting the two trash bags and Craig’s backpack that he would come back later to get. Right now, he needed to get Craig out of the cold and warmed up.

Craig was a bit heavier than Tweek was used to lifting, especially since the teen had immediately went back to sleep once the blond had picked him up, essentially becoming dead weight. Adrenaline and determination were Tweek’s fuel as he ran through the streets back to his house, his legs burning and his heart racing. He knew he’d pay for pushing his body, especially since he still technically had a heart condition, but Craig’s safety was more important.

——————————-

Tweek noticed the porch light was on by the time he got to his house, signaling that his parents were up and getting ready to head to the shop to open. Shifting Craig a bit to grab the door knob, Tweek opened the door and slammed it harder than he meant to.

“Mom! Dad! Help!”

His mom rushed out of the kitchen and there was muffled thumping coming from upstairs, signaling that his dad would be there soon.

“Tweek sweetie, what’s wro-”

His heart throbbed and his legs quivered and the world seemed to blur as Tweek saw his mom and let out a choked sob. He barely felt Craig being gently lifted out of his arms and being led up the stairs and to his room by his mom while his dad carried the unconscious noirette to their guestroom.

Tweek barely registered being stripped down to his boxers and into his barely used pajamas, trying his hardest to calm his breathing and the harsh beating of his heart and also trying to answer his mom’s questions the best he could.

A few of his pills were put in his hand and Tweek quickly swallowed them, not seeing which ones they were, followed by downing the large glass of water his mom handed him. He was led into bed and tucked in, his mom brushing the hair out of his eyes.

“Mom…’bout Craig…”

“Your dad is taking care of him sweetie. It’s going to be okay. Now, you said Craig might have some stuff under the bridge?”

Tweek closed his eyes and nodded, feeling exhausted and lightheaded as the concoction of pills he took began to take effect. “Cr-Craig said his home life wasn’t gr-great at the moment…but I didn’t think…he’d… I h-had one of my gut f-feelings…”

The gentle fingers running through his hair began to lull Tweek to sleep. “He’s gonna h-hate me. Pr-promised him I wouldn’t tell a-anyone…”

“You probably saved his life Tweek. He can’t possibly hate you for that sweetie. I’m very proud of you. And don’t worry. Everything will work out. Now get some sleep. And don’t worry about school or work today.”

Tweek hummed in acknowledgment as he let sleep finally take him.

————————————-

Even with exhaustion and his sleep aid working in tandem with each other, Tweek still only managed a few hours of sleep and as he watched his clock tick off the minutes, he finally sighed and sat up once the clock hit 8:30.

He debated getting dressed, but since he probably wasn’t going out at all today and his pajamas felt super comfortable and wouldn’t irritate his still sore legs as much as jeans would, he left them on. After a quick bathroom visit, the blond began walking down the hall, sparing a glance to the open guestroom door and seeing what he could of Craig sleeping as peacefully as he could.

Tweek debated on walking in the room to check on the teen, but the thought of accidentally waking Craig nagged his brain. His foot had hit the first step of the stairs when he heard Craig’s harsh coughing. The blond turned around and quickly walked into the guestroom, seeing the noirette curled up in the covers, his labored breathing causing his body to shiver.

The blond wasted no time in reaching the side of the bed, sitting on the edge, and pulling Craig up into a sitting position, letting the teen lean against him. He grabbed the glass of water that was on the nightstand and brought it to Craig’s lips, helping the teen as he slowly drank the water to relieve the burning in his throat.

Once he had felt Craig’s breathing even out, Tweek slowly slipped off the bed and laid Craig back down, wiping his sweaty forehead with the wet washcloth that was also laying on the nightstand.

“…Tweek?”

Tweek watched as Craig blearily opened his eyes. They were unfocused and bloodshot and the blond could tell Craig was struggling to keep them open. He began running his fingers through the black hair, trying to lull the sick teen back to sleep.

“Y-Yeah Craig, it’s me. Go back to sleep, okay? You’re safe now. E-Everything’s gonna be okay. Trust me.”

There was a quiver in Craig’s eyes as Tweek watched the teen stare at him for a moment, before closing his eyes again. The blond stayed for a few more minutes, gently massaging Craig’s head, until he was sure the teen was fully asleep again.

——————————-

Tweek was surprised to come downstairs to see his father at the dining table, several pieces of paper surrounding the man as he scribbled in a notebook in front of him. The blond was slightly worried about the angry look on his face. Richard Tweak was not one to ever get mad and Tweek could barely count on one hand the number of times he saw his dad without a smile on his face.

“D-Dad? Sh-Shouldn’t you be at the shop?”

His dad looked up and replaced his frown with the smile Tweek was used to. “We’re opening up at noon today. Already put a sign on the shop saying we were having a family emergency after I went for Craig’s things and talked to Craig’s fa- that man.”

Tweek didn’t like the way his dad spat out the last part of his sentence. “Dad?”

“Will you be okay with taking care of Craig by yourself while your mother and I run the shop later today? It’s Friday, so we’ll be too busy to come check on you two. Craig will probably be asleep most the time, the cold medicine we gave him was the strongest we could find, but he might wake up coughing or need the bathroom.”

“Y-Yeah… He already woke up as I was c-coming down the stairs. Gave him s-some water and waited until he went back to sl-sleep. Dad…is everything okay? You l-looked angry.”

His dad pinched the bridge of his nose. “I am Tweek. I went to have a talk with Craig’s father and that…bastard… told me that Craig wasn’t even his real son and kicked him out two weeks ago. He didn’t even care when I told him Craig had been apparently living under a bridge and could have died last night! Just…how could anyone DO that to a child?! How could anyone be so heartless to not care about their child’s safety?! Especially when he had already made the decision to raise him despite not being his kid!”

Tweek’s heart lurched and the teen walked over to his dad, giving him a side hug. “It…It’ll be okay d-dad.”

Tweek saw his dad give him a sad smile before standing up and fully embracing him in a tight hug. “You’re a good kid Tweek. You know that right? There’s not a day that goes by that I can’t imagine what your mother and I would have done if we had lost you. The fact that our negligence didn’t mess you up fully is a miracle and I’ll be forever grateful we got a second chance to start over. I love you son.”

“L-Love you too dad. So…what’s g-gonna happen? With Craig?”

“It all depends on Craig but the first thing is him getting better. Then we can try to get him to open up on what happened. Your mom and I already talked and agreed on letting him stay here if he needed a place, especially if he’s been living under a bridge for two weeks.”

Tweek shook his head. “H-He’d think it was charity or p-pity on you two offering. Th-That’s how he acted when I offered him a croissant last n-night. Nnngh- S-Sorry dad. I g-gave him free food last night. I kn-know you-”

“Tweek, son, it’s okay! You were helping a friend. It’s alright. But…knowing that, if he wouldn’t accept the room for free, we can offer him a job at the shop. I still get nervous about you closing the shop by yourself after Katie left for college. Craig could be the second night person. We’d still pay him a decent wage too. Would that be alright?”

The blond nodded and his dad went back to the papers on the table. “I’ve made a time chart of the next few days depending on how fast Craig gets better. I want you to stay here with him and we’ll handle the shop, but whenever one of us has a free minute, we’ll drop by and see how you two are doing. Your mom went and picked up some groceries, just soup and sandwich fixings, but I doubt Craig would be able to handle anything heavier than that.”

“Where is mom anyway?

“Laundry room washing all of Craig’s clothes. She figured they’d be quite dirty after two weeks and he’ll probably be grateful for clean clothes that actually fit when he gets better. Your extra set of pajamas is a bit small on him.”

—————————–

Tweek helped his mom finish the rest of Craig’s laundry and hauled it up to the guestroom, filling the empty dresser drawers with the clean clothes. He took the rest of Craig’s possessions out of the bags and set them in the corner, plugging the teen’s phone in the socket closest to the nightstand to charge.

He said goodbye to his parents before they left for the coffee shop and made himself some simple turkey sandwiches and made a pot of coffee and brought his lunch to Craig’s room, grabbing his own phone and laptop and his computer chair from his room in the process.

He plopped on his chair nestled beside the bed and ate his lunch, surfing the internet as he kept a watchful eye on the noirette sleeping beside him.

Chapter Text

There was a dull ache in Craig’s head when he woke up. He took a minute to let his eyes adjust to the light in the room before he opened them and took a note of his surroundings. The first thing he noticed was the wild mass of blond hair next to his arm and the semi-peaceful face of Tweek as the teen slept.

The nightstand was laden with cold medicines and a pitcher and glass of water. Craig could see his phone had been charged in as well. The teen surveyed the room, noting from the sparseness that it was probably a guest room.

His gaze was drawn back to Tweek. In all the years that Craig had known him, he had never actually seen the blond sleep. Even the rare sleepovers that Tweek did attend, the kid had usually retreated to a quiet place that wouldn’t disturb the others and stayed up fiddling with the puzzles and toys he brought.

Craig felt seeing the teen sleep like this and this peacefully was a rare occurrence and the noirette was resolved to keep laying still as to not disturb Tweek. He had questions that needed answers as to how he ended up in what was probably the Tweak’s house and guestroom, but he wasn’t a complete asshole to have Tweek sacrifice the little sleep he probably got just to sate his curiosity.

Fate seemed to have it just as bad Karma for the teen and at the precise second Craig decided to try to get comfortable again with as little movement as he could, his throat decided to betray him and ended with him feeling like he was coughing his lungs out.

“GAH!”

Through his watered eyes, Craig watched as the blond shot up and stare at him wide-eyed before grabbing the glass of water on the nightstand and pulling himself further on the bed close to him. He pulled himself up with Tweek’s help and shakily took the glass, noting Tweek didn’t release his grip on it until the blond was sure he had it and downed the glass, taking slow sips to soothe his throat.

The glass was replaced with a cough drop and Craig gratefully took it, savoring the cherry and menthol feel it left in his mouth.

“S-Sorry I fell asleep on you Cr-Craig! I was s-supposed to watch you, but… I guess my sleeping pill I took w-wasn’t done with me yet.”

Craig stared at the blond incredulously. Tweek was seriously apologizing for falling asleep on him? The twinge in his chest came back as he saw the blond twitch slightly and curl in on himself. He gently put his hand on the teen’s shoulder.

“Tweek, dude, it’s okay. Seriously, it’s okay.” Even with whispering the words, his throat still felt on fire and Craig sucked on the cough drop to let the medicine work its magic on his shredded throat.

He kept his hand on Tweek’s shoulder, feeling the need to rub it gently, as the blond calmed down from what Craig could only guess was a mini panic attack.

“Th-Thanks… W-Would you like to rather write down wh-what you want to say instead of t-talking? It sounds like even whispering h-hurts.”

Craig nodded and Tweek slid off the bed and exited the room. The teen winced as he shifted his sore body to grab his phone to check the time. It was a few minutes until 4pm and he had several misses texts and calls from both Clyde and Token. The noirette grumbled as best he could and skimmed through the texts. Most of were just the two wondering and worried about where he was but one from Token made him pale even more than his sick state had made him.

Sent: 3:00pm

TOKEN: Dude, we’re coming over to your house after school after I get out of my debate meeting. You better have a damn good excuse for skipping and then ignoring us all day.

Craig quickly hit reply and typed as fast as his aching fingers would allow.

Sent: 4:05pm

CRAIG: I’ve been in bed sick all day. Fuck off. 凸(⊙_⊙)凸

Craig hit send just as Tweek came back in carrying two coffee cups and a notebook. He set the notebook on the bed before handing Craig one of the cups.

“It’s n-not as good as the hot chocolate from the shop, but it’ll help s-soothe your throat.”

Tweek moved to sit back in the chair next to the bed, but Craig grabbed the notebook closer to him and patted the bed beside him before quickly scribbling on the opened notebook and handing it to the blond.

“It’ll probably be easier if you were closer so we didn’t have to hand the notebook back and forth. Still a bit sore.”

“O-Oh! Right…”

The blond shifted to the bed and made himself comfortable by Craig’s side as the noirette’s phone went off.

Sent: 4:10pm

TOKEN: -_- Real mature Tucker. You could have said something beforehand. Clyde was seriously considering skipping out after lunch to find your ass and risk not playing in the game tonight. I take it you’re probably not going to feel like coming or company beforehand?

Sent: 4:12pm

CRAIG:  Nah, throat’s totally shredded. And I’d rather go back to sleep than entertain you fuckers. Have fun this weekend w/o me. See ya Monday.

Sent: 4:13pm

TOKEN:  Get better soon dude. And you totally owe me for leaving me with Clyde’s bitching all day.

Craig smirked and took a sip of his hot chocolate, putting his phone down between him and Tweek and scribbled on the notebook.

“Mommy and daddy were worried about me. I imagine Clyde probably cried the school a new swimming pool.”

The noirette grinned as the blond beside him stifled a giggle before taking a sip of his own beverage and set it on the nightstand.

“H-How are you feeling?”

“Bit dizzy and my body is achy. And of course my mangled throat. At least I’m not stuffed up at the moment.”

Tweek gave him a small smile. “Th-That’s good. Thank my d-dad for that. He got the strongest OTC cold medicine he could f-find. I…I’m sorry Cr-Craig… I didn’t mean to get my parents i-involved. I pr-promised you I w-wouldn’t tell anyone…but I…I panicked when I f-found you under the bridge and I just didn’t know wh-what to do! I’m sorry!”

Tweek looked so small and broken as the blond tried curling in on himself again. Craig really didn’t like the gut wrenching feeling he got seeing the teen like this. Especially when there was nothing Tweek should be sorry for. No matter how you could say it, Craig was sure he would’ve died had Tweek not found him. Even if he had survived until morning, his body would have been too sore to move to get help if his violent coughing didn’t take him out by not letting him get oxygen to his lungs.

“Tweek, I’m not mad. Dude, you saved my life. How can I be mad at that?”

Craig put his arm around Tweek, pulling him closer and held the notebook out for the blond to take. The teen shakily took it out of his hand and Craig pointed repeatedly at the words he had written, squeezing Tweek’s shoulder lightly. After a few minutes, he felt the teen start to relax and he removed his arm as Tweek reached over to grab his drink.

“Y-You’re r-really not mad?”

Craig pointed back to what he wrote before taking the notebook back. “How did you find me anyway?”

“I-I sometimes get like a g-gut feeling that something bad is gonna h-happen and they wake me up p-pretty bad. S-So I went out for a w-walk to cool off since I was agitated and b-burning up. Found myself on the br-bridge I left you on last n-night and h-heard you coughing. Picked you up and r-ran back to the house. My p-parents were the ones that t-took care of you though. I p-passed out from pushing my body and h-heart too hard.”

The two sat in silence as Craig took in what Tweek told him, sipping his cooling hot chocolate and noticing some of his belongings were in the corner. “I guess you grabbed my stuff later?”

“Y-Yeah… Dad did. M-Mom saw that most of your clothes were d-dirty and the rain got them d-damp, so she washed everything. Th-They’re in the drawers. Craig…um… my dad went t-to talk to your fa… Mr. T-Tucker…”

Craig felt numb, barely registering that he dropped his empty mug, as Tweek’s words sunk in. Tweek knew. Tweek’s parents knew. He didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt the damp material of Tweek’s pajamas on his face as the blond held him and softly ran his fingers through the dark hair and whispering that it would be okay.

———————————

Tweek was roused from his light slumber when he felt Craig stirring beneath him and relinquished his hold on the noirette. Craig rubbed at his head and the blond reached over to grab the water glass and one of the pill bottles on the nightstand.

“Th-This will help. You pr-probably have a pretty bad headache, right?”

The teen beside him nodded and took the offerings from Tweek’s hands, downing both the pills and water. Tweek looked at his phone, noting it was nearly 8pm and his stomach growled. He looked over to Craig to notice the teen was trying to hide his own growling stomach.

“I-I hope soup and turkey s-sandwiches are okay. Mom thought you pr-probably wouldn’t be able to stomach anything h-heavier. Do you want to take a shower while I make d-dinner? It’ll probably help you f-feel a bit better.”

The teen beside him nodded and grabbed the notebook. “Bathroom down the hall, right?”

“Y-Yeah. You can use my sh-shampoo and conditioner. They’re honey scented b-but I don’t think you want to smell fl-flowery or like old people.”

Craig gave him a small smile and Tweek helped the teen off the bed and left him digging through the drawers for something to wear. Tweek took the opportunity to go into his own room and change out of his pajamas and headed down the stairs.

As the chicken noodle soup heated up and the two Keurigs were making his and Craig’s drinks (Tweek was so grateful that his parents switched two of their coffee machines for the pod machines, especially this late at night), Tweek set to work making a decent sized sandwich for each of them.

The teen had a dilemma once he ladled the soup in bowls and realized it would be impossible to make one trip with the food and drinks. Craig solved the situation by slowly walking into the kitchen.

“Y-You really shouldn’t be up. I w-would have brought the f-food up.”

Craig scribbled on the notebook he brought. “Really needed to stretch my legs anyway. And I’m feeling a lot better after the shower.”

The noirette grabbed his share of the food and the two sat down at the dining table, eating in silence. Craig pushed the notebook toward the blond.

“Sorry for crying and falling asleep on you.”

“It’s f-fine Craig. I think you n-needed it to be honest. And I f-fell asleep too so no w-worries.”

“Why am I here anyway? I figured if your dad talked to HIM, he’d have called the cops or something and get him arrested for child endangerment or something like that.”

“Craig…y-you wouldn’t want to go th-through with that mess. Trust me.”

Tweek twitched slightly before looking up into Craig’s confused face. “CPS and shit. Tr-Trust me…you don’t want th-them involved. Besides…you t-turn eighteen soon s-so it wouldn’t be beneficial to get th-the authorities involved.”

The blond watched Craig sigh and took a few minutes to write and shoved the notebook to him. “But that’s still a month away and I’d still be homeless anyway. I don’t have anywhere to go. Thomas doesn’t want me, my mom took Ruby and moved in with her new boyfriend on the condition I couldn’t come, and who the hell knows who or where my real father is. It could be anyone from Father Maxi to one of those freaking aliens that kept anal probing us years ago and I’m pretty sure whoever he is probably doesn’t want me either. I can’t impose on Token or Clyde’s families. Maybe the cops finding out what he did is my best bet, at least for a little while?”

The same fear and desperate look Tweek had seen on Craig’s face appeared again as the teen buried his face in his arms on the table and the blond’s heart clenched. “Then stay h-here.”

The noirette’s head shot up and he moved to take the notebook back. Tweek pulled it just out of Craig’s reach. “I mean it Cr-Craig. D-Dad already told me that him and mom t-talked about offering the g-guestroom to you. And if you wouldn’t accept it and c-call it charity, they’re offering you a j-job at the shop for the room plus you’d st-still get paid.”

Tweek handed the notebook back and Craig sat there staring at the page. Finally he shoved the notebook back. “Why? Why would they do that? Especially for a kid they barely know? Especially when they know that we used to be friends and I broke our friendship off. I mean I’d be pretty pissed if one of my kid’s former best friends did this shit I’ve done.”

“T-To be honest Craig…I don’t think they remember any of my f-friends that well. At l-least ones from back t-then. It’s a miracle I even r-remember most of what I d-do from when we were y-younger.”

Tweek stopped Craig from writing when he heard a car in the driveway pull up. “I-I’ll tell you wh-what I mean later on Craig. A-About everything. It’s k-kind of hard to talk about and I’d r-rather not let my parents know a f-few things.”

———————————-

Craig gave the blond a nod and turned the notebook paper over to a fresh sheet as the two waited for Tweek’s parents to walk in the door. Tweek’s mom was the first inside and she smiled at the two teens as she hung up her coat before coming over to sit down.

“How are you feeling sweetie?”

It took a few seconds for Craig to register that the woman was talking to him and he blushed slightly, writing in the notebook and sliding it to her. “A lot better than I guess I looked from earlier. My throat’s pretty torn up so I’m using the notebook to talk so I won’t irritate it.”

“That’s good. Tweek, did you ask Craig what we talked about?”

“A-A bit mom. I told him a-about you guys offering him the r-room and the j-job offer. But I figured you two w-would want to go over everything w-with him and explain it b-better than I could.”

Tweek’s father walked in, carrying a thin folder and sat down at the dining table. “So Craig, did Tweek ask you about-”

“I already asked dear and Tweek wanted us to explain to Craig about what we decided.”

Tweek’s father nodded and slid the folder across the table to Craig. “It’s a job application to the shop regardless of your decision on living here or not. We’re not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do. But, we’re also not going to just let you leave here without knowing you have somewhere you can go. You’re not going back on the streets Craig.”

Craig looked down at the folder and touched the stamped on insignia of the Tweak Bros. logo. What he had written to Tweek earlier weighed heavily in his mind. He really didn’t have anywhere else to go and he knew if he lied, Tweek would probably figure out pretty quickly. The blond had seemed adamant about doing everything he could to help. And then there were Tweek’s own parents. They were basically offering a complete stranger their home and a job on top of it.

The noirette looked up to see Tweek’s hopeful face, the sincerity in Tweek’s dad’s face, and Tweek’s mom giving him a look of what could only be love that should have only been reserved for her husband and son. His pride tried to flare up, telling him that he shouldn’t give up this easily, that he was stronger, but Craig was so tired. Judging from the past twenty four hours, shoot the entire two weeks, Craig couldn’t take care of himself.

He wiped at his face, trying to stop the tears he knew were coming from forming as he simply whispered okay to the family. He was just so tired though and it didn’t help that he was still dizzy from being sick. He felt so worn down and broken. He felt someone embrace him and the flowery scent that invaded his nostrils let him know it was Tweek’s mom.

“It’s going to be okay sweetie. You’re in a safe place now.”

For the second time that day, Craig cried, wrapping his own arms around Tweek’s mom as he sobbed into her. The teen felt nothing but love radiate from the woman as she rubbed his shaking back, something he hardly felt even from his own mom. Craig didn’t realize how much he had been craving something like this as he clung to Tweek’s mom and then when Tweek came behind him to hug him and Tweek’s dad ruffling his hair.

——————————–

After giving the two teens the laydown of what would happen the rest of the weekend, Tweek’s parents retired to bed and the two surfed the internet on Tweek’s computer until both the cold medicine Craig dosed himself with and the multiple pills Tweek had to take began to kick in.

Craig was set to start working at the shop on Sunday, mainly with Tweek just showing him the back and the basic drinks they offered so Saturday would be a free day for the two as Craig filled out his application and Tweek would explain some of the things he had told Craig earlier while his parents were gone.

The noirette was set to sleep the entire night, but an annoying high pitched singing began to wake him from his drugged slumber. He grumbled as he looked at the alarm clock Tweek had set up for him and was annoyed to see it was 3:30am.

The teen sat up and blearily looked around the room, noticing one of his drawers was open and there was a small person pulling out what looked to be a pair of his boxer shorts.

Oh fuck no.

Even if this was just a cold medicine induced dream, he was NOT letting anything take his damn underwear. Craig quickly slid off the bed as fast as his numb body would allow and swiftly grabbed the thing.

“The fuck are you!?” He kept his voice low so his throat wouldn’t kill him.

The thing struggled in Craig’s grasp. “Let me go you pussy!”

Craig flipped the thing off and grabbed back the boxers from it and shoved him back in the drawer. “There better not be any more of you!”

The thing squirmed, trying hard to get out of Craig’s grasp as the teen debated on what to do with it.

“GAH! St-Stop! Th-That’s my f-favorite pair!”

Tweek’s shouting woke Craig up fully and the teen stormed into Tweek’s bedroom as the thing in his hand began cursing him out. He immediately noticed another one of the small things and Tweek having a tug-o-war with a pair of green boxers, the blond getting more and more frustrated.

Craig wasted no time in swiftly picking up the other thing, startling it into dropping Tweek’s underwear and the noirette slammed the two things into the wall. “If you EVER come back to this house again, I will find and murder every last one of whatever the fuck you are. Leave our fucking underwear alone! Got it!”

He pushed the two more into the wall until they both nodded and Craig motioned for Tweek to open his window. He dropped the things out and closed it before turning to look at the blond. “Did…Did that just happen? I’m not hallucinating, right?”

Tweek chuckled. “U-Underpants Gnomes. Th-They come at night and st-steal your underwear.”

Craig looked at the blond incredulously. “Wait…those were THE Underpants Gnomes? The ones you kept screaming about in elementary? They’re real!?”

“Y-Yeah… S-Sorry about that. Th-They usually just st-steal mine.”

The noirette stared at Tweek for a few seconds before ruffling the already wild hair on Tweek’s head. “I mean it. They come back and I murder them. If I’m gonna live here, that shit’s stopping.”

“Th-Thanks Craig.”

“No problem. Goodnight Tweek.”

“Goodnight Craig.”

Chapter Text

Craig wasn’t surprised that Tweek would already be up by the time he woke up the next morning judging from the music comic from the teen’s room. The blond had already told him that he only got about three hours of sleep each night and that was pushing it.

What he didn’t expect was seeing Tweek on the floor with his laptop beside him when he walked into the blond’s room.

“Tweek…what are you doing?”

Tweek turned his head to look at the noirette. “L-Laying on the floor and f-feeling like garbage.”

Craig had the beginnings of a pit in his stomach forming when the blond giggled and sat up, grabbing his laptop, and moving to sit on the bed.

“It’s a video game r-reference from one of my f-favorite characters in it. But even th-though it sounds super depressing, actually l-laying still on the floor with music playing k-kind of helps a lot with calming me d-down.”

The blond shifted so he was leaning against the headboard and patted the bed. Craig moved to sit down, scooting himself to the wall since Tweek’s bed was shoved against it.

“A-Alright…I guess I sh-should get all this over w-with before my p-parents come to ch-check on us when th-they get a free minute at the shop. A-Are you still sure y-you want to h-hear this?”

Craig nodded and watched as Tweek glanced at the multitude of pill bottles on his nightstand and sigh before looking at him. “B-Before I start, I n-need your absolute trust to keep a s-secret on wh-what I’m about to s-say. Th-There’s only a handful of p-people that know wh-what all happened and my p-parents and I would l-like to keep it that way.”

“I promise Tweek.”

The blond closed his eyes and Craig could see the teen was hesitant on speaking. “This is about my comment on getting the cops involved with what happened to me, isn’t it?”

Tweek opened his eyes and smiled sadly at him. “Y-Yeah… We’re in the s-system… Child Protective Services… b-both my parents and I. A-After all the shit I w-went through with th-them, I d-don’t want anyone else t-to go through th-that if I can help it. I mean…it’s b-been nearly six y-years since all that, b-but I still get n-nightmares about that time.”

The blond took a sip of his drink beside him. “D-Do you remember the s-summer after 6th grade e-ended? I kn-know we weren’t t-talking, but it w-would have been h-hard to miss the coffee sh-shop not being o-open the entire summer.”

Craig grimaced. “Ugh, yeah…I remember. My mom complained about having to make her coffee at home because it was closed. I mean it was shit coffee, no offence, but she was adamant about having her coffee fix. She was so happy when it finally re-opened that fall.”

“I-It was because of me that it w-was closed. I…I had a h-heart attack in the back of the sh-shop. G-Got rushed to the h-hospital and the d-doctors found crystal m-meth in my body. Th-The cops got involved and f-found my parents h-had been putting meth in th-the coffee for years. Th-They shut the shop d-down and once I r-recovered from my h-heart attack enough, sent both my p-parents and me to rehab.”

Craig looked at the blond in shock, the pit that had been forming earlier now coming back in full force as Tweek began to curl in on himself, a move that the noirette was coming to learn the blond would begin doing if he think he did something wrong.

He thought back to that summer in question. It had been a relatively normal summer where Clyde was constantly pining over whether he liked Bebe or Annie better and Token bitched about the pool at his house being remodeled but they had gone to a few water parks and Denver a couple of times.

The thought of their summer coupled with the shit Stan and his gang pulled (he was still unsure HOW exactly Cartman and Kyle accidentally started a war between some lesser known Greek and Egyptian Gods) suddenly left a bad feeling in his chest with what Tweek had to go through. While they were all having fun, he had been battling getting clean for a drug addiction that wasn’t his fault.

Craig moved closer to the blond, sitting beside him on the bed, and wrapped his arm around him. “Dude…Tweek… Shit man, I’m sorry.”

The two sat there in silence as Tweek began to relax again as Craig rubbed his back and shoulder, feeling like this was the most natural thing to do.

“Th-There’s more…if you w-want to hear it. I u-understand if y-you don’t…”

“I want to hear it Tweek. I want to hear everything.”

“Wh-While we were in the r-rehab place, we also h-had to go through th-therapy, me more than my p-parents since I h-had more of an addiction than them and also ph-physical therapy for my heart. As I slowly g-got better, th-they made us all go through CPS classes so m-my parents could possibly get c-custody of me back. It just… my m-mental state wasn’t too great d-during that time. S-So once we were able to come h-home, I was recommended to a th-therapist that I still currently go to.”

The blond had started leaning into Craig as he talked and the noirette had switched to running his fingers through Tweek’s surprisingly soft hair.

“Ms. Walker h-has been amazing. Sh-She’s been real s-supportive as I’ve slowly got b-better than what I w-was when I first started g-going to her. She’s h-helped me and mom and dad rebuild our t-trust with each other wh-when I was so broken and angry w-with them for putting me th-through this. Sh-She helped me see th-that they were actively t-trying to be better p-people and parents. B-Because of their a-addiction, they c-couldn’t really remember h-how they treated me once th-they got better. They st-still have huge g-gaps in their memory a-about my elementary d-days. But even with th-the therapy…I still h-had problems.”

Craig felt Tweek’s head move slightly to stare at the pill bottles on his nightstand again. “B-Because of the severe meth a-addiction, I still tw-twitch occasionally and this damn st-stutter is still a problem. It also w-weakened my heart so one o-of those bottles is for th-that. The others are an antidepressant, a mood stabilizer, and o-occasionally an anti-anxiety pill since th-those are a high risk f-for me to get addicted to. I’m on a p-prescription sleep aid at the m-moment but I usually use o-over the counter ones. And I s-suffer from migraines at t-times, but those are also j-just OTCs.”

The noirette grimaced as he stared at the bottles. “Isn’t that a little excessive? Especially since you’re still so young? Don’t certain pills react negatively with each other?”

“It’s t-taken several years and s-several drug combinations t-to find this p-particular bunch that won’t r-react negatively to each other. There w-were several t-times I just wanted to g-give up, the p-pills, the th-therapy, everything. It’s kind of h-hard to find a right c-combination of pills to treat SPD accurately, e-especially at my age. ”

“SPD?”

“I-I have what’s known as Schizotypal Personality D-Disorder. It’s h-hard to describe… but it’s like severe s-social anxiety, p-paranoid thoughts and illusions, f-fear of trust in o-others. There’s a long l-list of everything th-that it is that b-basically describes me f-fully.”

“So like any relation to Schizophrenia?”

The blond sighed in relief and gave a small chuckle. “Oh g-god, I’m so fucking lucky i-it’s not that. Huuuuuge difference. N-Namely the big difference is schizophrenics lose c-complete touch with r-reality. They c-can’t be persuaded th-that their hallucinations aren’t real and th-they last a long time. Schizotypals can be br-brought out of th-their delusions pretty easily and they aren’t as i-intense. I’m technically c-considered NORMAL next t-to a schizophrenic.”

There was a sour taste in Craig’s mouth as he took in everything Tweek was confessing to him. From the blond’s body language and the hesitant tone in his voice, he could tell this was hard for Tweek to do. There was a troubling thought in the back of his mind as he remembered something Tweek had said. He hoped it didn’t mean what he thought it meant.

“Tweek…what did you mean by give up?”

The teen beneath him froze before beginning to shake. The blond took a few deep breaths as Craig rubbed reassuring circles in the teen’s back.

“Pl-Please don’t be mad.”

Tweek’s voice sounded so broken and Craig felt something stir within him. Craig knew he wasn’t going to like the answer, but he needed to hear it.

“I won’t Tweek. I promise.”

The blond shifted so his arms could be free and snapped the button of his long sleeved shirt on his left arm. He began to slowly pull the material up.

It took everything for Craig to not tear up as he looked at the multitude of scars marring Tweek’s pale skin. A lump formed in his throat as he moved his arm to gently brush against the raised flesh.

“I-I just needed an o-outlet at times. My b-brain just kept sc-screaming at me and I was s-so tired of it all. N-None of them were too l-life threatening though… but… I h-have tried to overdose on my sl-sleeping pills. My st-stomach couldn’t handle it s-so luckily I j-just threw them all b-back up. I h-haven’t had the urge t-to do…this s-since we got my m-meds figured out so d-don’t worry about that. My p-parents don’t know a-about this…so…”

“Your secret is safe with me Tweek. I promise.”

The two sat in silence again as Craig held Tweek, his thoughts jumbled in his head. It hadn’t even been a full two days and so much had happened. He was given a stable home and job with people that cared about his well-being despite being essentially a stranger. He had reconnected with Tweek and it seemed like no time had passed and he was just as close a friend as Clyde and Token was.

Deep in Craig’s heart he knew that wasn’t true. He and the others had abandoned Tweek just before the chain of events where the blond would have needed them the most. While they complained about school and relationships and typical teenage garbage, Tweek was battling the aftermath of a severe drug addiction, mental and physical health problems, and inner demons.

Despite everything, Tweek was now the strongest person he knew. To go through all he had in his short life and still be able to function, to hold down a job, to still care about people that blew him off for popularity, and just be so inherently GOOD in this fucked up town, took a lot of strength and courage.

“I’m sorry Tweek. We…We should have been there.”

“Cr-Craig?”

Craig wrapped his arms around the blond. “We should have been there for you Tweek. We shouldn’t have abandoned you.”

“I t-told you I d-didn’t blame you Craig. I was f-fucked up pretty bad. And without m-my pills, I’m still fucked u-up. Lack of fr-friends was the least of my w-worries.”

“You’re not fucked up Tweek. Compared to the rest of this town and kids our age, you’re normal. And I can’t change the past, but…I’d like to start again if you’ll allow me. Do you want to be friends again? And this time, no matter what happens, I won’t abandon you. I promise.”

Craig felt Tweek shift to sit up and released his hold on the blond, only to be knocked back against the headboard as Tweek hugged him properly.

“Thank y-you Craig.”

———————————

The rest of the day was used to fill out the application to the coffee shop and reminiscing about their elementary days and the fucked up shit that STILL happened in town, usually caused by Stan and his group.

Craig found Tweek’s stash of barely used art supplies and sketch books and absentmindedly doodled in them while the blond was making a batch of cookies that his parents needed at the shop since they ran out.

“So how exactly did the Harbucks blow up our Freshman year anyway?”

Tweek rolled his eyes as he handed Craig a cooled cookie. “Ugh… F-Fucking Cartman somehow s-starting a gang war b-between the Mexican Mafia and a c-congregation of nuns. And then th-the fat fuck DEMANDED we f-fucking give him free c-cookies for getting r-rid of the competition! J-Just for that, I always accidentally d-drop his and the other’s desserts and wipe m-my dirty dishrag on th-their cups wh-when they come in. Except Kenny and Butters. I a-actually like them so th-they’re spared.”

Craig chuckled and bit into the cookie, moaning in delight. “Oh my god Tweek! What the hell do you put in your food to make it so fucking good!?”

“Ah…th-that would be the crack. W-We can’t have meth coffee a-anymore so we have to deal cr-crack cookies instead.”

The noirette stared wide-eyed at the blond until Tweek began to laugh. “It’s a j-joke Craig! I f-figured I was allowed to m-make it because of y-you know. I actually u-use buttermilk and cr-cream my butter and s-sugar together before I adding it to m-my mixture.”

Craig shook his head, trying hard not to laugh. “You are a little shit Tweek. You know that?”

——————————-

It wasn’t until later when everyone had gone to bed for the night, that Craig began to look for answers for a few questions he had. Tweek confessing everything that had happened to him had weighed down heavily in his mind and he felt the blond had been holding back, namely the condition he had.

He looked up Tweek’s condition on his phone and after several hours of reading SPD’s signs, symptoms, case studies on the matter, and treatments, Craig had a full understanding of how much courage it had taken for Tweek to tell him all that he did.

Tweek trusted him. He didn’t understand how or why, but it was clear that Tweek trusted him completely, probably just as much as the blond trusted his parents. His heart ached at that realization and he really hoped Tweek had believed him when he promised he’d never abandon the blond again. He couldn’t speak for Clyde or Token but hoped they could be friends again and that Tweek would learn to trust them too in time.

——————————————-

“F-First thing to remember about Tweak Bros. Coffee is t-that we are NOT Harbucks. We may s-serve several of the same d-drinks, but whatever we h-have on the board at the front is wh-what we have. The only s-secret menu items are when I’m f-feeling generous and experiment with wh-what’s in the back and that’s only wh-when customers I like are in h-here.”

It was Sunday afternoon after the Church rush and Tweek was showing Craig the workings of the shop while the place was empty. “A-All the coffee on the b-back wall is for sale and most we a-actually use in our coffee blends, except for the Death Wish. And no, we w-will NOT brew the Death Wish f-for anyone. Even if th-they pay us money. And ESPECIALLY don’t s-sell it to Stan’s gang so Cartman c-can dare Kenny to dr-drink it. I won’t even d-drink it and that’s s-saying a lot.”

While Tweek’s dad stayed in the front, Tweek led Craig to the back once he was finished in the front. “Rule Number One in the b-back, DON’T let dad touch th-the oven. He cannot bake w-worth a shit. H-He may know his coffee, but he has a n-negative eighty skill in baking. I usually m-make all the food in the shop s-since it’s one o-of my calming activities. All the c-coffee grind bins are l-labeled with what coffee is wh-what and the back w-wall over there holds all the fl-flavorings and syrups we use. The freezers and fr-fridge hold all creams and milk and the ice m-machine is already timed f-for the right setting to fill our ice b-bin in the front.”

It took another ten minutes for Tweek to show Craig the rest of the backroom and how to set the grinders on and which chemicals to use on certain parts of the shop when they were ready to clean. Tweek brought Craig back up to the front and smiled. “So…y-you ready for y-your first day and first orders? I’ll show you h-how to make them as th-they come along and if w-we get swamped, mom and dad w-will step in to h-help out since it’s y-your first day.”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

————————————

Tweek’s parents left the shop an hour before closing so Tweek could show Craig how to do all the night procedures since it would mainly be the two normally unless it was a busy night.

“You know Tweek… you don’t stutter when you take and make orders for people. It’s very interesting to hear.”

Tweek chuckled and shook his head. “Y-Yeah…my former co-worker Katie s-said the same th-thing. She c-called it my “Work Tweek Mode.” We f-figured it was b-because people are so ANAL a-about their damn coffee order b-being right so any implication of a m-mistake sets them off. It’s a-almost an auto-pilot th-thing on that front.”

Craig grinned as the two walked across the bridge that used to be Craig’s home. “I take it there are a lot of those kinds that come in.”

Tweek rolled his eyes. “Gah, yeah. And j-just fucking wait until pumpkin sp-spice season rolls around. That shit g-gets in your fucking PORES man. You’ll b-be smelling like it for a m-month. St-Still…I made an incredibly a-amazing pumpkin spice ch-cheesecake bar.”

“If it’s as good as your cinnamon crumble muffins, then I can’t wait. I’m gonna get as fat as Clyde from eating all the delicious shit you make…crack or no crack in it.”

The blond snorted as he looked down at the box in his hands. “I st-still can’t believe I b-burnt these. Dad must of t-touched the oven when I w-wasn’t looking. He l-likes to do that to try to help them b-bake faster.”

The noirette sighed and put his hand on Tweek’s shoulder. “They’re not THAT burnt, just a bit on the bottom. No one can tell dude.”

“I can!”

“Ugh, well you’re an anal shit about your baking. Trust me, people wouldn’t be able to tell. At least we have dessert for lunch tomorrow. I am NOT eating whatever “Surprise Pudding” is.”

“Kn-Knowing South Park High, it’s pr-probably gonna mutate into some cr-creature and p-pick Stan to be its mate and the l-lunchroom gets destroyed again. By th-the way…thanks for st-still letting me sit with you g-guys at lunch again.”

“Why wouldn’t I dude? We’re friends and friends sit with each other. I usually get there first since Chemistry is like right there. You’ve got Anatomy next door, right? I’ll just hang around and wait for you and we can go together.”

“Y-Yeah, I do. And really…th-thank you again Craig.”

Chapter Text

Tweek tried not to rush as he put up his Anatomy book and homework, hoping that the last few days hadn’t been a twisted delusion in his mind and Craig was actually waiting for him to walk to lunch. His fears were squashed as he walked out the door and immediately spotted the blue chullo Craig was known for wearing. Craig waved and walked over to him and the two began walking toward the lunchroom.

“H-How was Chemistry?”

Craig groaned and shook his head. “Is Mrs. Garner actually real? Like, no offence, but she’s obviously got a few marbles loose in her head. During the middle of our quiz, she fucking started making balloon animals! Fucking balloon animals! Just…what?!”

Tweek giggled and patted Craig’s shoulder. “Y-You get used to it. Butters a-and I had her l-last year and we found out sh-she’s a part-time party cl-clown. As for the m-marbles…we h-head-cannoned since she’s so o-old, she keeps herself f-fresh with the formaldehyde she u-uses for all her creepy specimens in th-the back and it made her brain go weird.”

The noirette snorted as he sat down at the usual table him and the others sat at, patting the seat next to him for Tweek to sit at.

Tweek hesitated slightly before sitting next to the teen, setting the box of muffins on the table. “Craig…a-are you sure the others w-won’t mind me sitting here?”

“They better not and if they do, they can sit somewhere else then. But honestly, just placate Clyde with food and you guys will be solid and Token usually doesn’t question anything I do so if I say you’re cool, then he’ll be cool.”

“A-And what about your… you kn-know… situation? Are you g-gonna tell them…or…?”

Craig grimaced and closed his eyes. “Not yet. I’ll think of something so just follow my lead on that.”

“Okay.”

——————————–

The two didn’t have to wait long for Clyde and Token to walk through the lunchroom and over to the table. Tweek had his head down so he didn’t see the look the two gave each other before sitting down, but Craig did and glared at the both of them before they could say anything.

Token looked over to Tweek before looking at Craig. “Hi…Tweek. So…Craig, you feeling any better? From the way you texted me, you were on death’s door or something. We worried about you all weekend, especially when you didn’t text either of us.”

A shiver ran through the noirette at Token’s choice of words. “Yeah…throat’s still a bit scratchy at times but I’m feeling better than I was. Been taking the best cold medicine you can buy at the store and plenty of cough drops and hot chocolate.”

“What’s in the box?”

Craig watched as Tweek lifted up his head a bit and the three watched as Clyde poked at the white box with his finger. Craig smirked and slightly nudged the blond beside him.

“O-Oh! Um…they’re m-muffins I made from the coffee shop! Th-They weren’t good enough t-to sell so Craig s-suggested I bring them for lunch. I k-kind of burnt them on the b-bottom but-”

“Ugh, Tweek, I already told you they are NOT burnt. They were in the oven like three more minutes than normal and they’re barely a shade darker on the bottom than normal. We even compared them last night and I ate one. They are fine!”

The blond rolled his eyes. “To you m-maybe. But I can t-tell! Gah…damn my s-sensitive palate.”

“Is that why you knew I fucked up trying to make my hot chocolate?”

Tweek chuckled. “Yeah. It’s warm milk base with two scoops of malt, one squirt vanilla syrup, two squirts milk chocolate syrup and one squirt dark chocolate syrup. Top it with the whole milk whipped cream and the dark chocolate shavings. You used two darks and one milk instead.”

“Work Tweek Mode activated!”

“You ass!”

Craig laughed as the blond punched him in the arm before opening the box and handing one to the pouting teen. “Seriously though, they are fine to us boring, common people.”

“Are we missing something Craig?”

The noirette looked over to Token giving him a confused look as Clyde hesitantly took a muffin. “Uh…I got a job this weekend? At Tweak Bros. So Tweek and I are co-workers now that close most nights. I just started yesterday, so I’ve got a lot to learn. Tweek and I had a great time talking and working with each other so I asked if he wanted to sit with us today and here we are.”

Token raised his eyebrow. “I thought you were literally too sick to move Friday and would be the rest of the weekend. And how did you manage to recover so quickly and secure a job?”

Craig shrugged as he took a bite of the muffin he grabbed. “Eh, was feeling better on Saturday and was craving a hot chocolate that wasn’t just powder and water. Tweek’s dad was fixing to put a Help Wanted sign in the window and I just went “Eh, why not?” and asked for an application. Tweek actually vouched for me that I was a good worker, so I got hired on the spot.”

“OH MY GOD!”

Clyde’s shouting made the others at the table jump and Craig knew at least half the lunchroom was probably staring. The noirette stared at the brunette, wondering how exactly Clyde was able to perfectly imitate the anime glimmer in his eyes as he stared at Tweek in amazement.

“Tweek, did you really make these?! They’re so fucking good! Oh my god! Dude! I love you forever and ever now!”

Clyde squeed. Clyde Fucking Donovan actually fucking squeed. If not for the small smile Tweek had on his face as he awkwardly returned the bear hug Clyde had the teen in, Craig was sure he would have punched the brunette in the arm or face for the shrill ringing in his ears.

One down and one to go. Craig looked over to see Token give him a look that the noirette knew was going to give him trouble. He inwardly cursed, knowing that Token had seen through his small lie and wouldn’t rest until he figured out exactly what had happened.

He made full eye contact with Token and was about to mouth to drop it, when there was a huge crash in the kitchen followed by a terrifying screech.

—————————–

“I f-fucking called it, didn’t I?! I fucking c-called that damn pudding w-would mutate and destroy the l-lunchroom!”

Craig rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the tingling feeling that activating his little used eye lasers made. “You got who got chosen to be the pudding’s mate wrong. We really should have known it would be Cartman.”

“I figured i-it was Stan’s turn for the b-bad shit to happen to. It ALWAYS s-seems to be either Kyle or Cartman. I g-guess Stan’s just too boring and n-normal to get picked. It’s too bad about wh-what happened to Kenny th-though. Just…jeez. Nice laser sh-shooting by the way. Where DID y-you learn that anyway?”

“Peru. Stan and those fuckers convinced me to join their Peruvian Pan Flute band and stole my birthday money and we got deported there. Ended up being on a prophecy wall for reasons to be the one to defeat those giant guinea pigs that rampaged that one time. Where the hell did you learn to shoot a bazooka?”

“Had to s-save them from being the pr-prisoners of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas and pr-prevent them from showing a re-release of Raiders of the L-Lost Arc. Y-You think since you w-were part of a Peruvian pr-prophecy that your real d-dad might be Peruvian?”

“That or Scuzzlebutt. It seriously could be anybody. If I ever do find out, I am really hoping it’s someone normal. I don’t think I could handle finding out I’m an alien or something like Bradley Biggle did.”

Tweek shoved the bazooka he usually kept back in his locker and slammed the door. “At l-least they cancelled the rest o-of the school day. Wanna g-go ahead and head to the shop? We could d-do our homework in the back a-and I can help you w-with getting that Calculus grade up.”

“Ugggggh Tweek! Don’t make me math before work!”

“Need I r-remind you that you h-have to math AT work?”

Craig sighed as they walked down the hall. “That’s different. That’s simple math. Simple math with no letters and imaginary numbers. But yeah, let’s go before Token and Clyde find us. Clyde was distracted by your crack muffins but I think Token’s on to me. He could tell I was lying and I know it won’t take too much convincing for him to get Clyde to give me the puppy dog stare to get me to talk.”

——————————-

The two were surprised to find someone in a familiar orange parka huddling on one of the benches outside.

Craig stared in shock as Tweek cautiously walked up and put his hand on the person’s shoulder. The person turned to look at him.

“Butters?”

Butters sniffed and pulled the hood down and looked back at the advancing Craig. “Hey fellas. That…that sure was an interesting fight in the lunchroom, wasn’t it?”

The two could tell Butters had been crying and judging from the way he kept hugging the parka he wore, they knew why. It wasn’t every day where you see your best friend since forever get killed by a giant pudding monster.

Tweek sat down beside him on the bench. “S-Sorry about Kenny. We know h-how close you guys w-were.”

Butters sniffed and nodded. “He pushed me out of the way… Kenny ALWAYS does…did shit like that. He cares…cared about my well-being more than his own. He even gave me his parka this morning and walked to school in just a t-shirt because my dad wouldn’t let me have mine today…”

The two watched as Butters shivered again and Craig put his hand on Butters’s shoulder. “You should get home dude. It’s too cold to be out here and I don’t think Kenny would have wanted you to get sick. We can walk you before we go to work. We have time.”

“Th-Thanks fellas but I can’t go home yet. My dad would ground me if I came home early, even IF school was cancelled. Besides…I was supposed to hang out with…Kenny…today. It was his day off from City Wok and he didn’t have a date tonight…”

“Th-Then come to the shop w-with us. I can make you s-something and you c-can hang out there f-for a few hours.”

Butters smiled sadly. “Thanks…but I don’t have any money. I got grounded last week so no allowance.”

“M-My treat. I’m f-feeling…experimental.”

———————————–

“Something’s up with Craig. Big time.”

Clyde swallowed the bite of muffin he had and looked at Token. “How do you mean dude? He seemed fine at lunch today… well besides giving us his death glare before either of us could ask why Tweek was sitting with us.”

Token rubbed his eyes and looked back at Clyde. “Yeah, that’s just it. He just gave us that like he assumed we weren’t going to let Tweek sit with us. And then both of them literally acted like they had been best friends forever instead of…you know…us not really talking or hanging out with him since 5th grade. How the hell did one day of them interacting suddenly do that?”

“I like Tweek though. I did miss hanging out with him a little…when he wasn’t screaming his head off and freaking out. You know…he didn’t really DO that at all while we were eating. Or drink like twenty cups of coffee... It looks like he mellowed out a lot since elementary.”

“Tweek’s not the problem, Clyde. It’s Craig. He’s been so…distant with us lately, for a few weeks at least. I was getting worried, especially when he didn’t show up Friday. He just looked like he was ready to…give up. But today, he was laughing and energetic. Something happened this weekend and Tweek’s involved somehow. What happened that made Craig just suddenly want a job at the Tweak’s coffee shop and get so defensive for Tweek?”

Clyde sighed and put his arm around Token’s back. “Dude…you’re going into “Mom Mode” again. I noticed it too, I’m not THAT dumb, and I think you’re overreacting. You KNOW Craig just as well as I do and we both know he doesn’t like telling us his problems. I mean we didn’t even know his mom and sister moved out until Kenny’s sister Karen asked him what Ruby’s new address was. I say let it go for now and when Craig is ready to tell us what’s wrong and what happened, we listen and support him.”

The brunette finished off the muffin he was eating and smiled. “And as for Tweek, I’m glad he’s back sitting with us. We were kind of dicks to him back then, just abandoning him like we did. Maybe Craig felt really bad and decided to try and make amends when Tweek vouched for him. I’ve…kind of wanted to do that for a while myself. We really didn’t get a chance to today because we were distracted, but I think we should apologize to him. Craig probably has.”

Token smiled and ruffled Clyde’s hair. “How is it that you’re the voice of reason sometimes?”

“Because I’m the designated dad of the group. Fun-loving and chill, but will step in if the situation calls for it.”

“Dork. Okay, so the plan is apologize to Tweek and leave Craig alone for now. But…if he hasn’t spilled the beans by his birthday, we corner him and make him talk. And since Tweek’s back in our social circle, maybe we can get his help with it too. I mean...he's obviously gained Craig's trust in a short amount of time. Maybe Craig will tell him things he's reluctant on telling us.”

———————————

“Feeling any better Butters?”

The blond smiled at Craig and Tweek as the two sat down since they didn’t have any customers at the moment. “Yeah. Thanks for the hot chocolate Tweek. It’s really delicious. Is there cinnamon in this?”

Tweek smiled and nodded. “I-It’s something I’ve been experimenting o-on. Variations of my amazing h-hot chocolate. Been n-needing people besides my p-parents to try them out and give o-opinions on. I’ve got a p-pumpkin, peppermint, orange, and a wh-white chocolate I’ve b-been brainstorming on.”

Butters smiled sadly as he clutched his drink. “Kenny likes pumpkin. That would be the one he’d try. Let me know when you want someone to try that one, okay?”

“S-Sure Butters. I will.”

Butters sighed and pulled the orange parka on, heading for the door. “Well fellas, it was nice talking to you and thanks for looking out for me, but it’s getting late. I should get home. See you at school tomorrow.”

“Wait, Butters!”

The blond turned his head to look at Craig. “Yeah?”

“Do you want to sit with us tomorrow at lunch? I mean you only really hung around Stan and the others because of Kenny. They tend to kind of mistreat you when Kenny wasn’t around. I’m sure Tweek and I are in agreement we don’t want to see that happen to you. Like they try to make you the next Kenny or something? You know how those guys get sometimes.”

Butters shivered slightly and shook his head. “It’s…It’s okay Craig. They won’t try to do that. I’m not as gullible as I was back when we were kids. I’ll be fine.”

The blond waved to the two of them and walked out the door, pulling the hood around his face to muffle his voice. “Besides Craig, by tomorrow morning, you won’t remember giving me the offer anyway.”

Chapter Text

Tweek sat in his seat with his eyes closed, prepared for whoever that couldn’t find a partner to walk up to him and declare the teacher put them together. He knew the routine and even in a class like AP English, there would always be that one slacker that barely got by with a passing grade that he’d get stuck with and do all the work. It had been that way ever since middle and the first years of high school.

“Hey Tweek, want to be partners on the project?”

The blond’s eyes shot open and he stared in shock at Token staring down at him.

“R-Really?! A-Are you sure!?”

He inwardly cringed at how loud and desperate he probably had sounded and the blond took a few deep breaths to keep from having a mini panic attack.

Token smiled at him and scooted one of the empty desks next to Tweek’s. “Yeah dude. We really didn’t get a chance to talk yesterday at lunch and I feel bad about that since I felt like I blew you off to interrogate Craig. By the way, I did manage to wrestle a muffin away from Clyde. They’re really good!”

“Th-Thanks. And it’s f-fine Token. You were w-worried about Craig and I’m u-used to no one really talking t-to me.”

“I…I’m sorry Tweek. We didn’t mean to…just ditch you back in middle school like that. I can’t even remember why we agreed on that. And obviously you and Craig have something going on, but I can understand if you can’t forgive me and Clyde. But I do sincerely apologize. I want to be friends again if you’ll let me.”

Tweek smiled slightly. “I-It’s okay Token. I just…if you two can understand th-that I may take a while t-to warm up to you fully. It’s n-not you, it’s me. S-Seriously…it’s me o-on that front. I’ve g-got issues…if you couldn’t t-tell. But I accept y-your apology. Clyde’s…p-probably gonna bl-blubber all over me, isn’t he?”

Token snorted and nodded. “Most definitely. I’ve already got a text from Craig telling me Clyde wouldn’t let go of him for ten minutes in Calculus to apologize for being too enthralled by your muffins yesterday to talk to him. Oh! Speaking of…let me have your cell number. Mine’s 555-742-4269.”

“S-Sure. It’s 555-223-3463.”

———————————-

Craig noticed Tweek seemed to be in a slightly better mood as he walked up to the noirette. Craig smiled and ruffled the wild blond hair of the teen as the two walked to the lunchroom, waving to Butters and Kenny as the parka clad teen was apologizing profusely for missing the two hanging out the day before. “So…someone seems to be in a good mood. Did they finally replace the shit coffee in the student lounge with good stuff?”

“Ugh, no it’s st-still fucking Folgers. No…it’s… Token a-actually wanted to be p-partners with me in AP English. I-I was just… No o-one’s wanted to be partners w-with me in s-so long and I usually d-do all the work and it was g-great just talking like old times and w-working together, you know? And T-Token apologized for…y-you know and we e-exchanged numbers. I’m just s-so relieved that I w-wasn’t stuck with Peter Mullen or C-Cartman, they got p-partnered together. I’m s-still not sure HOW Cartman e-even got IN our class…”

While Tweek went to go get drinks for the two of them, Craig quickly sent Token a text.

Sent 12:05pm

CRAIG: Dude, Thank You so much for partnering with Tweek. It really meant a lot to him. He couldn’t stop gushing about it while we walked to lunch. Seriously thank you.

Sent 12:06pm

TOKEN: It’s no big deal. I mean we’re friends again so why wouldn’t we partner up?

Sent 12:06pm

CRAIG: It IS a big deal though. Seriously Token. Thank You.

The noirette put his phone up as Tweek walked back and handed Craig the large styrofoam cup filled with tea. Craig did a double take as he noticed the blond had the same thing. “Tweek…you sick or something? You’re drinking tea?”

Tweek chuckled as he poured sugar packets in the cup. “I drink o-other things besides c-coffee you know. I t-technically shouldn’t have it b-because of my heart and insomnia, b-but it helps with the m-migraines when I have them. Besides, I c-can’t work at a coffee shop and n-not be able to actually d-drink the beverages there. It would b-be weird.”

Token and Clyde showed up a few minutes later and before anyone could say hello to each other, Clyde had Tweek in another bear hug like the one the day before, crying into the blond’s hair and asking him to forgive him for being a shitty friend.

Craig smiled as Tweek told the crying teen that he forgave him, knowing that it would put the blond in an even better mood when they got home later that day. Tweek had obviously been craving social interaction despite his condition, and there was a pang in the noirette’s heart as he thought of the number of years Tweek had gone through without it.

Once Clyde had sat back down after him and Tweek exchanged phone numbers, the four began to eat.

“So Tweek, I know it’s only Tuesday, but are you interested in coming to the football game Friday? We are so totally gonna wipe Middle Park off the map!”

Tweek grimaced and played with a dangling piece of lettuce in his sandwich. “I…I’m not sure I c-can get off on Friday. It usually t-takes all three of us to k-keep up with everyone c-coming in because of the g-game. Dad always gave Katie o-off since her boyfriend in N-North Park played and the o-offer will also p-probably go to you Craig. And I m-missed working last Friday. I don’t th-think I can do it again.”

The brunette pouted. “Aw that sucks! Maybe you can get off for away games? The shop wouldn’t be that busy with everyone gone.”

Tweek smiled softly. “I-I can try. I’ll ask t-tonight when my parents g-get home.”

————————————-

Tweek and Clyde both had Health class after lunch, so the two began walking down the hall to their class, leaving Craig and Token to head to Government.

Craig’s phone went off a few seconds later with the ringtone he assigned to Tweek and the noirette hoped Clyde hadn’t already done something to freak the blond out.

Sent 1:02pm

TWEEK: Forgot to tell you I’ve got my therapist appointment today after school. Will you be okay walking home and being by yourself for like two hours?

Sent 1:03pm

CRAIG: Yeah dude, it’s good. Hope you have a good visit. See you when you get home.

Token put his hand on Craig’s shoulder. “So…mind telling me a bit about your texts to me earlier? There’s…more than what I made it out to be, isn’t there?”

He felt Craig stiffen up and look down. Token sighed as he squeezed the noirette’s shoulder. “Look Craig, I’m not asking about everything that’s gone on with you lately. Clyde and I talked about it yesterday and we were both in agreement that whenever you finally feel comfortable with telling us what’s been happening with you, then we’ll be there for you. But…don’t take too long because we both know you explode when it gets too bottled up. I just want to know more about Tweek. He’s obviously become very important to you in a short amount of time. And I really want to know what he meant when he told me it might take a while for him to warm up to us. It worried me.”

“Tweek’s a good person, a really really good person and friend. It’s his story to tell if he ever feels comfortable to tell you guys like he told me but…he’s still here and he’s still so good and pure despite everything and that matters so fucking much in this fucked up town. I’m grateful for the chance to be his friend again.”

Craig looked around to make sure the hall was mostly empty. “As for me…I could tell you saw through my lie yesterday. I hated to admit that, but I really should have known you’re too smart for my bullshit. I promise you Token, that I’ll tell you and Clyde everything. And thank you for giving me time. Just…know that yes, Tweek knows everything that happened with me. It’s…not that I don’t trust you guys…but…”

Token smiled softly as they got to their classroom and sat down. “Dude, it’s okay. Sometimes you just need to talk to someone with a fresh perspective. And I’m proud of you FOR talking to someone instead of keeping it to yourself. I hate when you do that. It hurts when I know you’re hurting and I can’t help.”

Craig smirked. “Okay mom!”

“Ugh…why am I the mom of the group again?”

“Because Clyde is the daddy and I’m your trouble-making angsty delinquent child that you constantly get mad at but love unconditionally?”

“And what does that make Tweek now?”

“The crazy genius prodigy child that you just want to wrap in a bubble because you don’t want the world and your delinquent child to corrupt him?”

Token raised his eyebrow. “Don’t you dare corrupt Tweek like your daddy corrupted you. But yeah, Tweek obviously got his brains from me.”

———————————

Tweek plopped down on Craig’s bed, burying his face in his arms, and groaned loudly.

“That bad? I thought you liked your therapist?”

The blond turned his face to stare at Craig and rolled his eyes. “I do, b-but sometimes there’s subjects I just…w-wish she’d kind of not want to d-discuss with me. I m-mean I know it’s her j-job…but…ugh.”

Craig moved from the head of the bed to where Tweek was laying and laid on his back. “Wanna talk about it?”

Tweek sighed and nodded. “It’s her j-job to talk about everything th-that kids go through, school, w-work, family, and…relationships. Like…boyfriend girlfriend shit. It’s j-just so uncomfortable to t-talk about. I’ve l-literally spent years trying t-to sort my own shit o-out and here she is w-wanting to figure out wh-what I’d rather touch more, t-tits or dicks.”

“I’m sure she doesn’t mean to come across like that. She’s probably just trying to look out for you. I mean our school and town are surprisingly okay with gay people, but that’s not the case in other places. Talked to Ruby before you got home and she said a gay kid at her school got beat up pretty bad.”

“I honestly d-don’t know what I am. I j-just hadn’t wanted to th-think about it, you know? I’m n-not broken, am I?”

Craig smiled softly and turned on his side. He reached over and ruffled the blond’s hair. “Nah Tweek, you’re not broken. There’s people like that, that don’t want to think about it, that just want to live their lives without all the sex and romance bullshit. And there’s people that want the sex without romance and people that want the opposite of that. You’ve got people that like people of the opposite sex and ones that like the same sex and even ones that like both, people that are comfortable with just one partner and some that want multiple partners. It’s honestly okay that you don’t know yet.”

“D-Do you know what you a-are yet?”

“Possibly Bi… I'm honestly not sure myself. I mean I’ve dated both Heidi Turner and this guy I know named Thomas, but both were in my Sophomore year and I haven’t really felt the spark to date anyone since, not like Clyde who latches on to anything blonde and female. And honestly I had more fun dating Thomas than Heidi, girls are too complicated, but it might have been the fact Thomas has Tourette’s and could say anything he wanted without getting in trouble.”

Tweek chuckled lightly before turning to look at Craig. “Th-Thanks Craig. I feel better about n-not being broken like I thought.”

“Any time Tweek. By the way…Token kind of cornered me about lying to him and while I didn’t tell him anything, I did tell him that I would eventually when I was comfortable with telling them. He also mentioned what you said to him in class and that it worried him. I told him it was your story to tell, but he may go into “Mom Mode” and try to pry. He cares about you.”

The blond sighed and burrowed his face into his arms again. “Clyde…kind o-of texted me his c-concern too since he n-notices I flinch slightly when he g-gave me hugs. Told him it w-was just a reflex and he c-could still give them to me when he a-asked if he should stop. H-How about this? Th-The day you decide to t-tell them what happened to you…I’ll t-tell them my story as well.”

“You sure Tweek? I don’t want to pressure you into doing that if you’re not comfortable.”

“Y-Yeah. It’s a b-big step towards trust and I think I r-really need that right now.”

The two laid on Craig’s bed until Tweek’s stomach growled. “You hungry? Mom m-made spaghetti before she l-left for the shop. Sh-She doesn’t cook much anymore, b-but when she does…oh m-man.”

“Sure, I think my stomach was about to join you.”

Tweek hopped off the bed and began walking out of the room, Craig trailing behind and noting he enjoyed the fact his bed now smelled faintly like cinnamon and coffee.

Chapter Text

“Man, it’s too bad Tweek couldn’t join us at the mall today! We could have had a full team for some of the arcade games!”

Craig shook his head and lightly punched Clyde in the arm. “Well technically it’s your fault he’s not here. Wednesday is his normal day off but since you were soooo adamant about him coming to see you play on Friday, he had to work today to make up for missing that day.”

The brunette pouted as he rubbed his arm. “Ah man! Why didn’t you tell me!? I wanted to hang out with him!”

The noirette chuckled and sipped his drink. “You can hang out later tonight when we go to the coffee shop so I can help him close. Just be sure to buy something. We don’t want freeloaders in our store.”

Token sat down and handed the two their fries. “You’ve only worked there two days and you’re already referring it to your store huh?”

Craig smirked and threw a fry at the black teen. “Hey, what can I say? I’m a natural at it and I had the best teacher showing me the ropes. And since there’s only me, Tweek, and his parents working, I’m already basically Tweek’s Assistant Manager to his Manager position. I’m gonna get an engraved badge and everything.”

Clyde stole a fry from Token’s box, earning him a smack on the hand. “So, they paying you well? Or is it mainly tips?”

“They’re gonna pay me pretty well and Tweek and I share the tips we get each night we work together. Tweek told me he only actually gets half of his paycheck and the other half goes towards his savings account his parents set up for him so he won’t have to worry about money for awhile depending on where he goes after we graduate.”

Token leaned back in his chair, preventing Clyde from stealing any more fries. “Speaking of Craig…HAVE you actually thought about what you want to do after you graduate? It’s never too early to start looking at colleges and applying for scholarships.”

Clyde leaned in and wiggled in his seat. “Ooh, and I heard that once basketball season starts up, there’s several colleges in Colorado that’ll send scouts out. If they like you, that’s a full ride to their college! And you’re the best player next to Kyle. I know they’re already sending scouts to see the football team play.”

Craig frowned as he ate his fries. He honestly hadn’t thought of his future in the past month. His main focus had been trying to survive. He was still in disbelief that it hadn’t even been a week since Tweek had found out his secret he kept for two weeks and helped him start rebuilding a semblance of a normal teenage life again. He didn’t even know if he even wanted to play basketball anyway. It had been Thomas’s insistence for him to play the game and while he WAS good, he didn’t have quite the passion for it like Kyle did. Fuck, even CARTMAN of all people had more passion for the game than he did and he was just the student manager of the team.

“Eh, not sure yet of what I want to do yet guys. A basketball scholarship would be nice but that hinges on them picking me. Besides, I’m gonna need new shoes and the fees for equipment and stuff. That’s not cheap.”

“It hasn’t been a problem in the past. Doesn’t your dad usually pay for everything? And with your job, you can help pay for part of it.”

The noirette inwardly flinched at Token’s words and looked down. “I…uh…that’s why I got a job in the first place. Our finances…at home…aren’t well since mom’s gone. So…yeah…”

Token furrowed his eyebrows. “Craig…you know if you just need some money, I can-”

“It’s fine Token. Seriously it’s fine. I’m sure I can come up with all the money by the time basketball tryouts start in November. That’s like two months away. And we’re getting decent tips and with fall starting, more people come in for drinks. It’ll be fine.”

————————————-

“I told you I’m not fucking selling you Death Wish! Get the fuck out if you’re not going to buy anything!”

Tweek’s non-stuttering Work Mode voice rang out as the three teens walked up to the shop and Craig had to pull Clyde back from getting mowed over by an exiting Stan and Kyle, who was dragging a reluctant and angry Cartman out the door.

“Fuck you, you blond spaz! I’m telling your fucking manager on you!”

“I AM THE FUCKING MANAGER YOU FUCK NUGGET!”

The three teens waited until Stan’s group was a few stores away before walking in, Craig flipping the retreating group off. Tweek was slamming chairs on the tables so hard, the store seemed to shake. Craig walked up to him and gently put his hand on the blond’s shoulder.

Tweek turned around angrily and was about to yell when he realized it was Craig. “Th-Thank god you’re here! I was seriously a-about to just walk out and fucking b-bash Cartman’s fucking head in! Tell me not to! H-Hi Clyde and Token. Sorry a-about the yelling.”

Token chuckled. “Hi Tweek. It’s fine. That fucker needs to get yelled at.”

The noirette ruffled Tweek’s hair. “Tweek, don’t bash Cartman’s head in. Then you’d go to jail and leave only three people to run the shop. And you’ll rob the town of your muffins.”

The blond sighed and pushed his hair out of his eyes. “Ugh…fine. S-So…you can see how my n-night’s gone…”

Craig frowned as he led Tweek back to the counter. “Do they come in often like that? And I noticed Kenny wasn’t with them.”

“Only a-about twice a week, usually on Th-Thursdays and Fridays. And Kenny u-usually doesn’t come in with th-them anymore since he w-works and goes on d-dates when he’s not working. You g-guys want anything b-before I start cleaning the machines?”

Craig smirked. “The usual. And…you could always be…experimental with Clyde and Token.”

Tweek rolled his eyes. “Y-You and your damn hot ch-chocolate. But…I guess wh-what better way to test new fl-flavors than have your friends t-try them.”

The blond pulled out a small notebook out of his work apron and flipped to a page. “Alright, th-these are the hot chocolate flavors I’m w-working on. I can make one of these, or i-if you have a suggestion, I can see wh-what I can do.”

Token looked at the list. “I’ll have the white chocolate. That seems interesting. Could you put an extra shot of vanilla in it though?”

“S-Sure. That actually might b-bring the flavor out more. How about you Clyde?”

“Um…do you have a hazelnut flavoring? Like make it a Nutella hot chocolate?”

Tweek’s eyes grew wider and a huge grin broke out on the teen’s face. “Clyde…that i-is a WONDERFUL suggestion! I c-can’t believe I didn’t th-think of it myself when I w-was making flavors! You’re a genius!”

Several minutes later, the four teens sat down with their drinks at the only remaining table that didn’t have the chairs stacked up after Tweek had locked the door.

Tweek had his small notebook out writing down the steps and ingredients he used for Token and Clyde’s drinks. “N-Now I really need s-some good feedback for what I m-made. Give me y-your honest opinions because I need to g-get the recipes perfect.”

—————————–

Craig, Tweek, and Clyde waved to Token as the teen separated from the group to walk to his house and the three began to make their way home since they lived in the same neighborhood.

Craig was so used to walking home with Tweek that he had forgotten that Clyde didn’t know his new living situation until the brunette grabbed his arm.

“Uh Craig, your house is this way.”

“I…uh…just want to make sure Tweek gets home okay. And also, I need to talk to his parents about when basketball season starts. I’d have to have certain days off for the games. We’ll see you tomorrow Clyde.”

Clyde gave the two a look that Craig couldn’t figure out, before the brunette smiled. “Alright guys, see you tomorrow! Have a good night.”

The two watched as Clyde headed off toward his house before they continued on their way.

“Craig…y-you’re gonna have to tell th-them pretty soon. Clyde l-looked like he was w-worried.”

“I know Tweek. I just… You’d have to tell them about you and I don’t want to tell them what’s up without you being ready.”

The blond sighed. “I…I think I’d r-rather just get it over with a-at this point. I mean…I f-feel like I can trust them, not a-as much as I trust you, but the a-anxiety of letting them in a-and knowing just…it isn’t there. Th-There’s even family members th-that I haven’t told everything to, and I f-feel I can trust Token and Clyde m-more than them. Is that w-weird?”

Craig put his arm around Tweek’s shoulder. “It’s not weird Tweek. I care and trust you guys more than my own family. I mean, look at my family, if I can call them that. We’ve got my father that isn’t even my real father, an actual real father out there somewhere that could be anyone from Officer Barbrady to that weird Turd Sandwich thing, my mom that really couldn’t give two shits about me, and my sister Ruby, who I fought with constantly.”

The noirette shivered as he looked up at the clear sky. “And then there’s you and your parents, who have given me more attention and love in a week than I’ve felt in years with my parents. I didn’t realize how much I had been just…craving a motherly hug until your mom hugged me that first day. And I still don’t know why you trust me so much when I can’t even trust myself most days. I’m an asshole. I mean, I was the one that convinced Token and Clyde to stop being your friend. It’s my fault. You should hate me, not trust me.”

“You’re n-not an asshole Craig. Actively c-caring about Token, Clyde, and me despite y-your upbringing proves that. You’ve m-matured a whole lot since elementary. And I told y-you I don’t blame you for n-not being my friend for th-that awkward amount of time. And I’ve a-always trusted you Craig, even b-back during our grade school d-days. You’ve n-never stranded me in the desert w-wielding a bazooka to save your ass for e-example.”

“You’ve never stolen a hundred dollars from me and got me deported to Peru.”

“Y-You haven’t flipped me o-off like you do everyone else.”

“You haven’t called me a…fuck nugget… What does that even mean?”

Tweek giggled and shook his head. “I d-don’t even know! It just c-came out!”

“That’s what she said.”

The two stood in silence before beginning to laugh as they walked in the house.

————————–

Sent 11:30pm

CLYDE: So...something kinda weird happened. Craig began to just walk home with Tweek. Didn't even acknowledge he was passing up his street to his house until I reminded him. And I stayed up waiting for his light in his room to come on. It hasn't yet and I came home about 10. He's not home yet. 

Sent 11:35pm

TOKEN: Stalker. But yeah, that is weird. Is this the first time his light hasn't come on in a while or do you remember? Like have you seen it on since he got into his funk?

Sent 11:36pm

CLYDE: Now that you mention it...no. I don't think it's come on in a while. This is weird.

Sent 11:37pm

TOKEN: Friday when we're driving to Middle Park. We're confronting him. I can't wait anymore. I'm very worried now. After what you told me and what he said at the mall today, there's something big going on. 

Sent 11:38pm

CLYDE: Okay. 

-----------------------------------

Craig was about to head back into his room when he heard the whimpering coming from behind him. The teen turned around and walked into Tweek’s room where he saw the blond curled up and shaking on the bed. The blankets had been kicked off and Tweek was painfully gripping his hair and muttering in between his whimpers.

The noirette quickly made his way to the side of the bed and crouched down. “Tweek?”

Instantly the blond’s eyes shot open and as his eyes focused on Craig, Tweek choked out a sob of relief. “Craig…”

“Want me to hold you?”

Tweek shakily nodded and Craig stood up and climbed into the bed, adjusting the pillows to make the headboard more comfortable. He gently pulled the blond on top of him where Tweek latched on, shaking and whimpering softly.

Craig embraced the teen and began running his fingers through the unruly hair. “It’s okay Tweek. Just breathe. I’m here. You’re here. You’ll be okay.”

The minutes ticked by as Craig held Tweek and the blond began to relax. He lifted his head up slightly. “P-Pill bottle with the blue c-cap. Just one. It’s m-my anxiety pill.”

The noirette nodded and reached over to the nightstand to retrieve the bottle and grab one of the pills after he opened it. He handed it to Tweek and put the bottle back, grabbing the glass of water on the nightstand to replace it. Craig began rubbing Tweek’s shoulder after the teen had taken his pill and the two laid there in silence.

“Nightmare a-about my time in rehab. My mind d-distorts that pretty bad. It always m-makes it out to be l-like a mental institution. And it f-feels so real that I feel like I’m STILL th-there and all this is j-just an illusion.”

“It’s not though. This is real. You’re real. I’m real. You’re not there. You are at home in South Park, going to a shitty high school where you’re a straight A Honor student and you’re the manager at a coffee shop with amazing hot chocolate and crack muffins. And you’ve got three douchebag friends that don’t deserve your forgiveness or kindness, yet you gave us a second chance anyway.”

Tweek hummed and buried his head in Craig’s chest, falling asleep a few minutes later. Craig slowly shifted so he was more on the bed and drifted off to sleep.

———————-

Tweek’s mom walked in a few minutes later after noticing Craig wasn’t in bed and smiled softly at the two sleeping teens. She carefully pulled the blankets over them and gave Tweek a kiss on his forehead and without a second thought, gave Craig one on the top of his head.

She moved Tweek’s anxiety pill bottle back in its proper place, figuring out what exactly happened, and made her way out of the room to get ready to open the coffee shop later in the morning.

“Goodnight boys.”

Chapter Text

“Ooh Craig, th-that’s amazing!”

Craig looked up from the discarded receipt he was drawing on during the slow period the shop was going through and shrugged. “Eh, it’s just doodling…”

Tweek sat down and stretched before smiling at Craig. “Y-Yeah, but it’s loads better th-than anything I could do. I mean you’ve s-seen my failed attempts at trying t-to be artistic. I’m glad you’re a-able to use those old sketch books of m-mine. You sh-should submit some of it and see a-about art colleges.”

The noirette rolled his eyes. “You’ve been talking to Token, haven’t you? He’s been bugging me about colleges too. And my art isn’t that good. I just picked it back up recently anyway. It’s just a hobby, not something you could really make a career out of…”

Tweek furrowed his brows and put his hand on Craig’s shoulder. “Craig…that’s n-not you talking, is it?”

Craig shrugged, looking down at the drawing of the interior of the coffee shop he had been working on. “I… No, it’s not. It’s him. Da- Thomas didn’t think I should spend time on stuff like this and focus more on basketball since I was so good at it. I just…”

“You’re n-not him. It’s your life t-to live Craig. And you’ve got t-time to draw now, even if y-you’re playing basketball. You talk to th-the coach today?”

The noirette nodded and grabbed another discarded receipt. He began writing on it. “He gave me a rough estimate on how much the basketball fees were this year. They’re roughly two hundred and I’ve got to get some new shoes which is another hundred since I like a particular brand. Add in some other things and I’m looking at needing to save up around three hundred and fifty dollars by the time tryouts start in November. I’ve got about two months to save up and taking fifty of my weekly pay to put up will land me with enough for everything. I’ll probably buy my shoes early to start breaking them in though.”

The blond smiled as he looked over Craig’s figures. “Sounds like a pl-plan Craig. You know if y-you need a bit extra, our tip m-money-”

“No Tweek, I’m not taking your share of the money. You’re gonna end up needing yours since Clyde’s been dying to hang out with you and especially if you’re getting to come with us on some of our out of town adventures. I’ll be fine.”

“If y-you’re sure… By the w-way Craig, about this m-morning, I…”

Craig put his hand on Tweek’s shoulder, lightly squeezing it. “Tweek, dude, it’s fine. I was the one that offered and I committed myself to helping you through whatever was going on.”

Tweek looked down, staring into his coffee. “I still feel real b-bad though. I hate th-that it happens to me and I h-hate that you had to f-find me like that.”

“Does it happen often?”

The blond looked over to Craig’s concerned face and nodded slightly. “It happens a f-few times a month, usually at n-night when I’m trying to sl-sleep. Mom usually f-finds me and helps me when she w-wakes up to get ready but I feel s-so bad that she has to stop what sh-she’s doing to help me.”

The noirette reached over and ruffled Tweek’s hair. “How about this then Tweek, no matter when you have one of these, let me know somehow and I’ll come and help. I don’t mind at all, seriously. Shoot, I go and piss sometime during the night every night and I can go ahead and make sure to check on you before I go back to bed.”

“Craig…you r-really-”

“I’m doing it Tweek, okay? And how about this, let me do this for you and I promise I’ll start working on artwork to send in to art colleges. Deal?”

“…Deal.”

———————————-

Most of the chairs were put up and Craig was sweeping the floor while Tweek was restocking the shelves when the door slammed open and a beaten, disheveled Kenny limped in the door.

Craig looked up in shock and dropped the broom as he rushed to the teen, barely making it before Kenny’s legs gave out. He led Kenny to the one table that didn’t have the chairs put up and sat the parka-clad teen down.

“J-Jeez Kenny! What the hell h-happened!?”

Tweek ran up, giving the blond the ice bag he had made for Kenny’s obviously swollen black eye and the teen groaned.

“Well…Lola and Douglas are back together…knew THAT was gonna happen. Didn’t expect Douglas to beat the shit out of me, but then again I didn’t expect Lola to KEEP goading him with shit that never happened. Oh well…”

Both Craig and Tweek looked at each other before Tweek stood up and Craig put his hand on Kenny’s shoulder. “Dude…I’m sorry about Lola.”

Kenny chuckled and shook his head. “Don’t be. I wasn’t serious about her and both of us knew it. That was the deal when she accepted my service.”

“S-Service?”

Tweek sat down next to Kenny and handed him a large to-go cup. The blond took it and sipped it slowly. His good eye widened in surprise. “This is pumpkin! Dude! How’d you know I like pumpkin?!”

“B-Butters told us a few days ago wh-when I had him try my c-cinnamon hot chocolate. He was r-really upset about…something… Y-You know, I can’t really…remember…why h-he was so upset. It had something to d-do with you though.”

Kenny smiled sadly and sighed. “Ah… that was probably the day I was supposed to hang out with him. I…had to work that day. Forgot about it. I apologized to him so many times for that.”

Tweek shook his head. “No…that wasn’t i-it. Mondays are y-your days off and you didn’t have a d-date. I remember him saying th-that. And he wouldn’t h-have been THAT upset if it w-was only you working. And he w-wore your parka…”

A vivid red and brown stain on the wall where a kid had once stood flashed through the teen’s mind and Tweek shuddered at the memory. “Kenny…d-did something…happen to y-you Monday when that p-pudding monster attacked?”

“N-No! I fucking high-tailed it out of the lunchroom when it attacked like I always do when shit like that happens. You guys know I’m a fucking coward. I’m not going to risk my life for those assholes, friends or not.”

“But you would for Butters.”

The two blonds turned to look at Craig, who was staring at Kenny. “I remember you being in the lunchroom for a while. You didn’t leave. And you pushed Butters out of the way of getting attacked. I remember him saying that. But after that is very fuzzy, like something’s blocking my memory. And that’s fucked up because how could you forget ANYTHING about fighting a giant mutated pudding monster?”

The store became silent as the three teens sat there before Kenny started laughing. “Alright…you know what? You guys won’t believe me and you won’t remember the next time it happens but I’ll go ahead and confess, like I’ve done so many times. Yeah, something happened. I died saving Leo. He was in the way of an attack and I pushed him out of the way and got crushed into the wall. But it was okay, because I can’t die because of some stupid curse. I just wake up back in my bed the next day without any injuries and no one remembering that I died, save for Cartman and my family. So yeah. That’s the answer.”

The store was silent again before Craig nodded. “You know…that makes sense. In this crazy fucked up town, that just…makes sense. It makes a lot of stuff that you sometimes do and say make sense.”

“What? You…believe me?”

Tweek shifted in his seat and nodded as well. “Craig’s r-right. It does make sense. That would e-explain…that one t-time… I m-mean…ever since I can r-remember, I’ve always h-had vivid hallucinations of you dying h-horribly Kenny, b-but I really th-thought it was just because of…um…well…b-both of you know… But IF they a-actually HAPPENED… then I can tick those o-off as NOT being hallucinations.”

Craig furrowed his eyebrows. “You didn’t tell me you had hallucinations like that, although given the subject…yeah…wouldn’t tell anyone about those either. Wait…what do you mean by both of us know? Kenny knows about the…coffee thing?”

Kenny nodded. “Yeah, know all about it considering Tweek’s parents were getting IT from my parents. Once all the shit happened, my parents decided to clean up their act as well since the Tweaks didn’t rat them out. And Tweek, dude, I’ve felt so bad I never really checked up on you much but in this small fucking town, word get around so fast and I was afraid if we were seen hanging out, your parents would think I was trying to get you hooked again. How’d Craig find out anyway?”

“It’s o-okay Kenny, I get where y-you’re coming from. And Craig’s st-story would be for another d-day. Man…I h-hope we can remember this.”

Craig smirked and looked at the blonds. “Well, if we don’t, then Kenny just has to tell us again. I mean, judging from this conversation, we believe him. So why wouldn’t we believe him when he tells us again?”

“I really hope you guys remember though without me having to do it every time. It would make things so much easier. I do have a request though. Could you make sure to comfort Leo when it happens, like you guys did the other day? I hate when I die and he witnesses it. I hate seeing that devastated look on his face, especially when the next day, everyone forgets and he can’t remember why he was sad the previous day. It hurts me more that HE can’t remember and Cartman of all people can.”

“S-Sure Kenny. We promise. S-So what was this about a…s-service?”

Kenny sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Promise you guys that you won’t say anything about this. I’ve made the girls I offer the service to secrecy about it, considering I REALLY don’t want THIS secret to get around AND I encourage them to make shit up that didn’t even happen. Hence the Lola and Douglas thing. Shit, even the girls don’t know the real reason I do this.”

The two nodded and Kenny took a drink of his hot chocolate before continuing. “First things first…despite everything you’ve heard, I’m still one hundred percent a virgin.”

“What?! But I thought-”

Kenny held his hand up in Craig’s face. “Craig, dude, let me explain. So I’m still a virgin despite popular rumor that I’m basically a man whore. Second, I’m totally and completely gay despite the obvious, as you can tell. I don’t have any attraction to girls whatsoever. I just know how to fucking treat a lady right hence the service I do for them. Girls who are fed up with their boyfriends…pay me to be their fake boyfriend to make them jealous.”

Craig and Tweek looked at the blond in shock. Kenny smirked and nodded. “Yeah. You know the movie Easy A? It’s kind of like that. Girls pay me to make their boyfriend jealous. Plan’s simple. The girl stages a breakup, starts to date me and I treat them so amazingly well with the girl slipping in some little white lies, and then when I think the two are ready to mend their relationship, I casually let slip where I’m taking the girl out on a date. Boyfriend shows up, we fight, and the two leave as lovers again. And boyfriend starts treating their girl with respect. There have been a few cases that haven’t worked, but for the most part, it does.”

The blond stretched, popping a few joints. “I will admit that the getting beat up part really fucking hurts, but if it’s too bad, I just off myself and come back good as new the next day. Of course…then the girl and guy have a blackout of what happens, so that’s why I always ask for the money upfront. I’ve raked in quite a bit from doing this and by the time we graduate, I’ll have enough to get the fuck out of this town and take him away from THEM.”

“Take wh-who away Kenny?”

Kenny smiled softly. “Leo. I’m doing this for him. As soon as we graduate, I’m taking Leo and moving the fuck away from this town and his fucking parents. I’m so fucking sick and tired of them just…slowly sucking the joy and innocence out of him. He doesn’t deserve the abuse they’ve inflicted upon him and I’m going to make sure that they’ll never hurt him again. I care so much for him. I love him. And it kills me that we can’t be together like we want because of his damn parents. It’s bad enough that we hardly get to hang out with me working all the time, on both jobs, but Leo knows what’s going on, so at least I’m assured that he knows I’d never cheat on him.”

Tweek put his hand on Kenny’s shoulder. “Whatever w-we can do to help, we w-will.”

“Thanks. All I ask is to keep a watch on Leo when I die and to keep my secrets. That’s all. Welp, I’ve took enough of your time and I bet you guys want to get home. See you guys at school tomorrow. The hot chocolate was excellent. Thanks for that.”

Kenny stood up and reached in his wallet to pull out money when Tweek stopped him.

“On the h-house Kenny. It was m-my first time making it, so it was an e-experiment. I never charge f-for those.”

The teen smiled and waved as he walked out of the door.

———————————-

Sent 10:30pm

KENNY: So…just talked to Craig and Tweek tonight after the Lola date. They both know everything, so they can help with keeping what I’m doing a secret. By the way, Tweek’s pumpkin hot chocolate is amazing!

Sent 10:33pm

LEO: ^_^ I’m glad it was good. Tweek gave me a cinnamon one the other day. And I’m glad more people we can trust know. I know THEY won’t let me leave without a fight. Man, I can’t wait until graduation. I love you Ken. <3

Sent 10:35pm

KENNY: Love you too Buttercup. <3 One day…we’ll both be free. Goodnight Leo. See you at school tomorrow. And remember to delete our texts.

Sent 10:37pm

LEO: Goodnight. See you tomorrow. And you know I always do. ;)

—————————————–

Craig wasn’t surprised when he was woken up by Tweek climbing into the bed as quietly as he could. He carefully grabbed the teen and pulled him closer.

“Nightmare again?”

“N-Not really. Just remembered a b-bunch of times Kenny d-died that I thought had b-been hallucinations all th-this time. B-But it make more sense on how and wh-why Butters started hanging o-out with them a lot and why Stan and th-the others had that stupid new f-friend contest that time Kenny w-wasn’t hanging out with them. I need to ask K-Kenny about that. He was gone an a-awful long time that time.”

Craig smiled in the blond’s hair. “We can ask him tomorrow or something. Maybe we should ask if him and Butters want to join our table and get them away from Style and Fuck Nugget.”

Tweek snickered and buried himself further in Craig’s arms. “Is th-that your new nickname for Cartman? Fuck N-Nugget? And…Style?”

“Yep. The sheer genius of Fuck Nugget can’t go underappreciated. And Stan plus Kyle equals Style.”

 Tweek giggled again and closed his eyes. “Goodnight Craig.”

“Goodnight Tweek.”

Chapter Text

Token stared at the chullo wearing teenager sitting across from him and sighed. Giving a glance to Clyde sitting beside him, who momentarily stopped eating the tacos in front of him, the teen went back to staring at Craig.

“Craig, we need to talk. I know I told you we would give you time, but-”

“Three days isn’t giving me time Token!”

The black teen pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, I know and I’m sorry, but we’re just really concerned. Especially since Clyde saw you didn’t come home Wednesday night or any other night for awhile. We were going to ask in the car ride up here, but decided to do it after the game. Please Craig, we care about you.”

The noirette clenched his fist, hurt evident in his eyes, and was about to yell at the two, despite the fact they were in the Taco Bell in Middle Park and most of the patrons were glaring at them already (or well, Clyde since his green and silver letterman jacket stood glaringly out amidst the blue and grey) since the Cows had slaughtered the Cowboys 56-0, when a slender hand was placed on his shoulder. Tweek sat down beside Craig and sipped his tea.

“I’m r-ready if you are Craig. You did p-promise to tell them. B-But not everything if we’re doing it h-here. I just saw t-two of our shop regulars at the condiment c-counter. And the n-natives look hostile toward Clyde.”

Token sighed and nodded. “Then how about we have a sleepover at my house tonight? You two don’t have to be at work tomorrow until the afternoon and it’s like a five minute walking distance there from my house. You’re telling us what’s going on with you one way or another tonight Craig.”

“…Fine. But Tweek needs his medicine and we need our uniforms.”

—————————————————-

The car ride home was terse, with only the sounds of Clyde excitingly replaying his favorite moments of the game. Craig was seething in the back, barely able to suppress yelling at the two teens in the front if only to not scare Tweek, who was nervously wringing the shirt he was wearing.

Token stopped the car between Clyde’s and Craig’s houses and Clyde got out of the car to go grab his stuff.

“Um…Craig? You gonna get out and get your stuff?”

Craig shifted in his seat and looked down. “No.”

“But don’t you need-”

“Just get your stuff Clyde.”

It only took about five minutes for Clyde to grab his overnight bag and he hopped back in the car. Two minutes later, Token pulled up to Tweek’s house and the two teens in the back got out, Craig all but slamming the car door.

As Craig stormed up to the house, Tweek stayed back for a moment. “Um…w-we need to tell my p-parents that we’re spending the night. We’ll b-be back as soon as we can.”

Token and Clyde looked at each other worryingly as Tweek walked into the house.

Clyde grimaced as he fiddled with his seatbelt. “So he’s living with Tweek?”

“Looks like it Clyde. He’ll tell us why tonight.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t have confronted him so soon…”

Token sighed. “If I knew he’d give us this much grief about it, I’d agree with you. But it’s really best to get it over. He’ll thank us for doing this later.”

—————————————

Craig paced across his room, breathing heavily as he tried not to cry.

“I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this.”

The noirette sat on the edge of the bed and held his head in his hands, shaking slightly as he tried to even out his breathing.

The bed sank beside him and Tweek put his arm around Craig. “It’ll b-be okay. You’re gonna be f-fine. It’s just Token a-and Clyde and you trust th-them. And they’re w-worried about you. And it’s best t-to get this over with.”

Tweek stood up and began to gather Craig’s work uniform and what Craig wore to bed and shoved them in his backpack. “Mom and d-dad know where we’re g-gonna be and I grabbed my m-medicine. Let’s go.”

The blond pulled Craig up off the bed and embraced him, rubbing circles in the teen’s back.

Craig hugged Tweek back as he sniffled. “I can’t do it Tweek. I can’t tell them. They’re gonna hate me for lying to them and keeping this from them.”

“No they w-won’t Craig. Didn’t you t-tell me that Token said him and Clyde w-would support you no matter wh-what? They’re worried and th-they want to help you. They care a-about you just like I d-do. And I know I’m th-the worst person to t-tell you this, but let them i-in. Please?”

The noirette held on tighter to Tweek as he nodded his head before pulling away reluctantly. “Okay.”

————————————————–

The two exited the house fifteen minutes later, Tweek keeping his hand on Craig’s shoulder as the two made their way to the car. The car ride to Token’s house was filled with silence as everyone collected their thoughts.

Once everyone had changed into their night clothes, the four made their way back to Token’s room and settled on the teen’s large bed.

Craig looked up at Token and Clyde and took a deep breath. “Where…do you want me to begin?”

Token put his hand on the noirette’s shoulder. “Wherever you think would be best. We’re here for you dude. Remember that.”

Craig nodded and grimaced. “I…got kicked out of the house by my fa…Thomas, three weeks ago. He was badmouthing mom and you know, usually I don’t fucking care, but I was just in a bad mood and I started cussing him out and flipping him off like normal…but then he just…fucking dropped the big fucking secret bomb that I’m not even his child. Mom cheated on him the night before their wedding and then he just grabbed me and shoved me out the door, telling me that no one fucking w-wanted me.”

The noirette’s eyes stung with unshed tears and Craig tried to wipe his face with his sleeve. He felt someone embrace him from behind and grabbed on to Tweek’s arms for support.

“I was in a bad mood all day at school that day and came home hoping that he’d calmed down like I had mostly, but when I got home, my stuff was in two large trash bags. I grabbed them and left and tried finding a place to sleep for the night.”

Clyde was already close to tears as scooted closer to Craig and put his hand on the teen’s shoulder. “I guess this is where Tweek comes in?”

Craig looked down and shivered slightly, shaking his head. “I…I’ve only lived with the Tweaks for a week now. The rest of the time…I was living under the bridge in town.”

Token and Clyde stared at the teen in shock. Clyde whimpered as he clung to Craig’s arm while Token’s eyes looked hurt and angry.

“You were homeless for two weeks?! What the fuck Craig!?”

The noirette began to breathe harder, a tear rolling down his cheek. He leaned into Tweek as the blond began to rub circles in his back, calming him down.

Clyde shot Token a look as he began rubbing Craig’s shoulder he had latched on to. “Token, dude, calm down. Let him finish.”

“Sorry Craig. I’m sorry. Dude, we can take a breather if you want.”

Craig shook his head. “No…I’m good. Deep breath. Deep breaths. I’m good.”

The noirette let his breathing even out. “I…was living under the bridge for two weeks and still trying to go to school and not let you guys know. I know… I know I should have told you because I know both of you would have tried to do everything to help me, but… I just…my pride was too strong and I wanted you guys to not worry about me and I was so fucking headstrong to take care of myself even though it was so fucking obvious I couldn’t. I was fucking eating out of dumpsters for fuck sake. How low is that? And this is where Tweek comes in.”

Craig smiled slightly as he closed his eyes. “Tweek found me behind the diner and brought me in the coffee shop and fed me and I just felt so warm and full and safe. And it felt so nice. He even gave me more muffins to eat and I honestly didn’t want to stop talking to him. But we had got to the bridge and I just couldn’t let him know and I made a bullshit excuse to stay on the bridge while he went home. And then…”

The teen shivered as he swallowed heavily, choking out a whimper.

“D-Do you want me to t-take over?”

Craig nodded and Tweek separated from the noirette, looking at both Token and Clyde.

“I w-woke up with this painful f-feeling that something was wrong and couldn’t shake i-it, so I went for a walk in the m-middle of the night. Found myself on the b-bridge and heard Craig’s coughing. I c-carried him to the h-house and my dad took care of him while I w-was trying to calm down from o-overworking my body. Mom and dad o-offered him our spare room and a j-job when dad found out wh-what Thomas did. Friday h-he mainly slept while he recovered from b-being pretty sick and we spent Saturday just c-catching up on things.”

Craig looked at his two friends. “And the rest you know. I’m doing better. So much better. Tweek and his parents have helped a lot.”

Token sighed and scooted closer like Clyde had done and gave Craig a hug. “Dude…I still wish you would have let us help you, but in the long run, I guess what happened was for the best. And we ended up with one of our friends back because of it.”

The black teen reached over and ruffled Tweek’s hair, earning a small smile from the blond.

“It’s n-not over though, the st-story… Craig and I decided th-that when he let you guys i-in and told his story…that I’d t-tell you mine. Because I w-want you to know. I want to b-beat my condition as m-much as I can without the u-use of pills and therapy.”

———————————————————–

As Tweek and Clyde were busy in the kitchen trying to put together snacks for the four of them, the brunette clinging as much as he could to the blond, Token and Craig sat at the dining table in the next room, watching the two teens pull out food.

“Craig…dude… Tweek’s story…”

Craig’s heart clenched as he recalled the story the blond had now told to him twice and nodded. “I can’t stop blaming myself Token. He needed us and we weren’t there. And it’s my fucking fault. I convinced you two to abandon him right when he needed us the most and it hurts so fucking much that he’s so adamant about not blaming us for doing it. And then he just…fucking helps me and didn’t yell or ask questions even when I threatened him, even after us not talking for like seven years, because he still fucking cares about us. Did you know that? He told me that. He told me he still worried and cared for us, even though we’re shitty fucking human beings that don’t deserve the love from his damn fragile heart. And there’s no way you can convince me that part of his SPD wasn’t because of us doing what we did. The fact that he still trusts and cares about us…we don’t fucking deserve it.”

Token rubbed his eyes and looked up at Craig. “Clyde and I actually talked about that too when we were talking about how to approach you. We should have done more to keep his friendship, told you no. But we didn’t and knowing what he went through, there won’t ever be a day I won’t regret what happened. But you’re right Craig. He’s still here. And he’s still a good person, despite everything. It’s going to be okay. And no matter what, we’re not abandoning him again. We got a second chance like his parents did and I’m going to use it fully. I think we’re all in agreement that we couldn’t live with ourselves if we did it again.”

“He saved my life Token. I was sick dude, very fucking sick. The night he found me, I legitimately thought I was going to die under that bridge. I probably would have. It was the night of that bad rainstorm that dropped the temperature down pretty low. I couldn’t breathe from coughing so hard and I was so cold I couldn’t move. And Tweek fucking risked his own safety for mine. He overworked his heart and had a near panic attack getting me to his house. And then his parents just…fucking let me into their home and treat me like one of their own. Tweek’s mom makes a point to give me at least one hug a day and I just didn’t realize how wonderful that love that radiates from a mother was. And I just…there’s no way I could pay back all they’ve done.”

“Just being there for him is a start Craig. I mean, I can already see what being around him has done for our group. You’re a bit more tolerable to be around. You haven’t flipped either of us off in a week. He’s a good influence on you.”

Craig smirked at the black teen and flipped him off using both hands. “Disproved that.”

“Real mature Craig. Real mature.”

Tweek and Clyde walked out of the kitchen holding mugs and snacks. Tweek handed Craig one of the mugs and grabbed one of the plates Clyde was trying to balance.

“It’s n-not coffee shop quality, b-but it’s close.”

The four made their way back to Token’s room to eat and watch a movie.

————————————-

Clyde grabbed another cracker, moaning in happiness as the flavors hit his tongue. “Seriously Tweek! How the hell did you make cream cheese and strawberry jam on a cracker taste good!?”

The blond chuckled. “Just a-added sugar and a bit of vanilla to the c-cream cheese. That’s actually th-the base of how I make my ch-cheesecake bars.”

“It’s so fucking good! You seriously need to be a chef or something!”

“Hmmm, m-maybe… I actually w-was just thinking about taking o-over the coffee shop f-from dad. It’s all I r-really know and am comfortable w-with. I know I’d h-have to take some business and m-management classes.”

Craig smiled as he leaned against Tweek. “Then do both. And you could always expand. Be a coffee shop and a bakery or something. Clyde’s right. These culinary skills you have are way too good to go to waste.”

“Y-You think? You think I’m th-that good?”

The noirette grabbed a cracker and handed it to the blond. “Yep. So how about this…since I’m gonna apply for art schools on your suggestion, in turn you apply to culinary schools on mine. We push each other to do it. Deal?”

“D-Deal.”

Token turned to Craig with his eyebrow raised. “Art school? That’s out of nowhere.”

Craig smiled softly and closed his eyes. “I’ve been drawing again, using Tweek’s art supplies he never uses. Since Thomas’s negative attitude about it is out of the equation, it’s helped as I’ve been working on things. And I didn’t really realize I missed doing it and how great I felt drawing. So…if the basketball thing doesn’t work out or even if it does, I’ll have something else I can use to apply for colleges.”

Clyde squealed and looked over to Token. “Look Token! Our little boy is maturing and thinking about his future! That’s my son!”

The four laughed as Craig flipped the brunette off.

Clyde snickered some more before turning to look at Craig. “In all seriousness though, since Thomas Tucker isn’t your father, then who is? And do we still call you by your last name?”

“As much as I hate it now, Tucker’s still on my birth certificate and legal documents and it would feel weird to have another last name. Plus, I mean I know I could probably get it legally changed, but I’m gonna keep it just to spite that asshole. Now as for my real father…there’s no telling. I’d probably have to ask mom about it, but she seriously hasn’t given a shit about me since she moved to North Park. I talk to Ruby nearly every day and she hasn’t heard mom talk about me once. It seriously could be anyone from Mr. Mackey to Cthulhu knowing this fucking town.”

Clyde shook his head as he ate another cracker. “Couldn’t be Cthulhu. Kenny’s deal is with Cthulhu…right? It WAS Cthulhu, wasn’t it Token?”

The black teen nodded as he sipped his hot chocolate. “Yeah, it was Cthulhu. His parents were in that cult before he was born. He got some kind of power or curse or something. Can’t really remember what it was though…”

Craig and Tweek glanced at each other and silently nodded to each other to keep quiet. Craig had seen and remembered Kenny dying in Chemistry class earlier that day and had told Tweek about it. Both had remembered their conversation with Kenny the previous day, so they were relieved the so-called curse of forgetting was over for them.

The noirette shifted over to Token’s DVD case. “So guys…how about we watch a movie before we go to bed? I’m in the mood for some good quality dick and fart jokes.”

——————————————

Craig and Tweek turned back and waved at Clyde and Token in the doorway of Token’s house, before continuing to walk to the coffee shop for work, Craig flipping off the security guard that worked for the Blacks as they walked passed him.

Token sighed as he closed the door and the two made their way back to Token’s room. “Well…that was a night…”

“Are you both mad and glad at Craig for everything that happened like I am?”

The black teen nodded as he flopped on his bed. “Craig blames himself for what happened with Tweek. Like maybe his problems wouldn’t have been that bad if we had been there. But we can’t change what we did and I’ll always feel regret for that. Tweek gave us all a second chance despite his condition telling him to not trust people and I’m not going to take that for granted.”

Clyde smiled and laid on the bed next to Token. “Me neither. Although I don’t think we’ll be as close to him as Craig is. Craig comforted Tweek last night after we had gone to bed. They pushed their sleeping bags together and Craig held him. Saw it when I went to pee. I haven’t seen Craig care so much about someone since that Tourette’s guy he dated our Sophomore year. You don’t think they’re…”

“They’d tell us if they were, but honestly I don’t think they are. I know Craig is bi since he dated Heidi too, but there’s no telling what Tweek is. I bet Tweek is too preoccupied with all the new changes in his life to think about that. And until they outright tell us, we shouldn’t assume. They DO smile more when they’re close to each other, I’ve noticed. And Tweek was able to calm Craig down last night as he was telling his story. They would make a cute couple if they do end up dating.”

“Creek.”

Token looked at Clyde, confusion evident in his face. “What?”

“Creek. Craig and Tweek if they get together. That’s their ship name.”

The black teen rolled his eyes and threw a pillow at the brunette. “Ugh, stop fucking watching anime you fucking weeb. And don’t ship our friends when we don’t know if they’re together or not!”

“Never!”

“Alright, but don’t come crying to me when Craig kicks your ass. Or Tweek for that matter. He carried Craig home so that boy’s got some muscles on him. And he’s twitchy and unpredictable. He could totally kick your ass.”

Chapter Text

“What do you mean you don’t want to do anything for your birthday!? It’s like the big one! You’ll be an adult Craig! An adult!”

Craig rolled his eyes and flipped off the brunette in sitting in front of him. “It’s not really a big deal for me. I’ll just be another year older and the only thing I’m concerned about is I’ll be able to change where I live on the school forms without an adult’s permission. We’ve been super lucky that nothing’s come up that they’ve had to call Thomas. The less people that know what happened, the better.”

Token grabbed one of the pumpkin cheesecake bars Tweek had brought. “So who else besides us knows anyway?”

“Kenny a-and Butters. Told them about a w-week ago when I h-had Butters over for a p-project for our Anatomy class and…also ch-cheered him up since he was having a b-bad day.”

Tweek closed his eyes, trying to get the memory of the devastated blond out of his mind. It was true they had an Anatomy project together, but the main reason was to keep Butters from doing something hurtful to himself. Kenny had died in the restroom near the lunchroom due to explosive diarrhea (he knew better than to actually EAT the food at City Wok) and both him and Craig had to calm the hysterical and hostile teen down after seeing his boyfriend wheeled away.

Butters had asked why it looked like Craig was living at the Tweaks and the two agreed to tell the blond and also Kenny when he revived the next day since they figured they could trust the two.

Clyde sighed and laid his head on the table. “You know, most teens turning the golden age would, you know, want a huge party with all their friends and peers and shit. Yet here’s old Grandpa Craig that wants no fun whatsoever.”

“Clyde, I’m not THAT bad! But a big party like that involving the ignorant mass that’s our high school would definitely require copious amounts of alcohol and barely any adult supervision and in case you remember, I live with Tweek. There is NO way in hell that I’m throwing a party there. I don’t want to be anywhere near when the cops come and arrest about a hundred drunk white children yelling “Fuck Da Police!” at the top of their lungs.”

“We can have it at Token’s then! Token, you don’t mind us throwing a party at your house, right? Please say yes! Please!?”

Craig pinched the bridge of his nose. “Clyde, we’re not having a huge party. If anything, I’d just like to keep things simple. Just you guys and maybe Kenny and Butters if they’re able to come. Besides, I don’t even like alcohol, not since the disaster that was Bebe’s party last year and the fact that it’s something Thomas does and I’m attempting to be nothing like him.”

“And I’d b-be afraid someone would somehow sp-spike my drink. With all the p-pills I take, it would be pretty bad if I somehow got it i-in my system. Most of them a-advise to stay away from it. Plus…I don’t th-think I’d do well with s-so many people around.”

The noirette took a sip of his tea. “Well that settles it. I’d rather have Tweek around me than the entire school. Sorry Clyde. If you want a big birthday bash, you can do it on your own birthday when you turn eighteen.”

“Ugh! That’s not until April! And I suppose you want something simple for yours too Tweek?”

The blonde nodded. “Y-Yeah…I don’t really do much for m-my birthday. Dad gives me th-the day off from the sh-shop and I just play a-around on the internet all day and eat s-some of the cake mom buys me.”

Token shot Craig a look before the noirette could make the face the black teen was quickly learning Craig would do when he started blaming himself for the way they had treated Tweek in the past. Craig stared back and closed his eyes, pushing down the feeling.

“W-We could have a small p-party if you guys really want. But I a-agree with Craig. I’d just like t-to have it simple, you guys and Kenny a-and Butters.”

Clyde grumbled as he shoved his sandwich in his mouth. “Ugh, fine! I’m gonna make sure MY eighteenth is like amazingly awesome to compensate!”

“Actually…why don’t we go to the mall on my birthday? Play some arcade games, hang out in the stores, and I can get my basketball shoes since I need to start practicing. And afterward, just hang around the house or something. I know I definitely need to Skype Ruby that day and tell my precious baby Happy Birthday as well.”

“Y-You really miss Streak, don’t y-you? You know you can a-ask mom and dad if you c-could keep her in your room. I’m sure th-they’ll say yes.”

Craig fiddled with his cup, looking down. “Your parents have done so much for me though and I really wouldn’t want to impose. And she’s kind of loud. I wouldn’t want her to bother you guys.”

Tweek put his hand on Craig’s shoulder. “Sh-She wouldn’t be a bother Craig. Plus, I like s-seeing your sensitive side. P-Proves your human and you’ve m-matured.”

“If I didn’t make a vow to not flip you off Tweek…”

——————————————

The day before Craig’s birthday was a Monday, which meant Kenny and Butters would spend most the time in the coffee shop on their weekly date. So far, fate had been kind to Kenny and he hadn’t died once on a Monday since the pudding monster incident.

It was also the only day that the rest of Kenny’s friends knew NOT to come in the shop and keep watch for Butters’s parents if they got too close. In the month that Kenny had told Tweek and Craig his secrets, after a mishap with Cartman walking in on the two making out in the janitor’s closet and surprisingly telling the two blonds he’d keep quiet about it, Kenny had confessed to Stan, Kyle, and Cartman about his plan for getting Butters away from South Park and they were both more or less boyfriends but to not say it out loud.

Both Token and Clyde had also learned the plan and while Craig and Tweek made sure to help the weekly date go without a hitch in the shop, the others took turns stalking the Stotchs to make sure they didn’t catch Butters hanging out with Kenny.

It was about thirty minutes before the shop closed and as Kenny was helping Craig put chairs up, the door slammed open and a man with a bandanna over his face burst through the door.

He pointed the gun he was carrying at Tweek and Butters who were behind the counter talking as Tweek counted the register. “Give me the fucking money!”

“Don’t you dare point a gun at them!”

Craig was easily a foot taller than the guy and moved quickly to try to knock the guy down and wrestle the gun away while Kenny moved to get the terrified Tweek and Butters in the back room and through the back door to safety.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as the gun went off and Craig noticed a second too late that the bullet that was fired was making its way toward Butters.

The bullet didn’t hit the blond, instead hitting an orange parka as Kenny had quickly rushed to put himself between his boyfriend and the bullet. The searing pain in his chest and the harsh rattling his body made as he tried to breath let the blond know that his lung had been pierced and as he felt his body slump, wondered if blood loss or fluid filling his lung would be the cause of death this time.

“KENNY!”

Kenny looked up into the tearful blue eyes of Butters and tried to smile as best he could. “I…love…you…”

Each breath was agony and talking was a miracle. The blond coughed and grimaced as some of the blood that came up had ended up on his boyfriend’s shaking hands.

“N-No Kenny… Please… please don’t do this. I can’t… Damn it Kenny! Why’d you have to…”

Kenny smiled as his vision became blurry. “It’ll…be…okay…Leo…”

Craig had been shoved to the ground by the robber and the man escaped. Forgetting the robber for the time being, Craig got up and rushed to where Tweek was trying to pull a distraught Butters away from Kenny’s body.

The teen was screaming and crying and Tweek was trying everything to try to calm Butters down.

“Pl-Please Butters! It’ll be o-okay! I p-promise! Please don’t d-do anything rash!”

Craig helped Tweek grab the blond and the two tried to get Butters to the back room when the teen broke free of their grasp and kicked Kenny’s stiffening body hard.

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER! You’re always doing this shit! It’s not okay! It’s not fucking okay!”

Butters dropped to his knees and began slamming his fists down on the dead teen. “You always have to be the fucking hero, don’t you!? You never care for yourself! You fucking know what’ll happen to you when you do this! And you don’t fucking care! I’m sick and tired of it!”

Strong slender arms grabbed the teen around the middle and pulled him up. Butters tried fighting back but Craig’s arms joined Tweek’s and the two pinned the teen between them as Butters let out choked sobs that sounded more like pained laughing.

The more the three stood there, the more it DID sound like laughter.

“It’s pointless isn’t it? It’s pointless to act like this. You two won’t fucking remember by tomorrow. None of you ever do. Even Ken…actin’ like nothing happened the next day, like he DIDN’T get shot or squashed by a pudding monster… just a “Leo, I’m so fucking sorry we couldn’t hang out yesterday! I got called in last minute!” and I just have to stand there still with the images of how he’s died just running through my head and just nod and say I forgive him. Just like fucking clockwork.”

Craig and Tweek looked at each other wide-eyed as they heard Butters’s confession. Tweek released his grip on the teen. “Butters…”

Butters sniffed and looked around the shop. “Please don’t tell my parents what I said. Just forget it. I’m delusional. I don’t want to be grounded again. I-I’ll help you clean this up.”

“Y-You remember too, don’t y-you?”

Butters whipped around wide-eyed as he stared in shock at the other blond. “What did you say!?”

“You r-remember Kenny dying, don’t y-you?

If Craig hadn’t still had a hold on the teen, Butters would have fallen on the ground again. His legs gave out on him and tears pricked his eyes again as he stared in disbelief at Tweek.

“Y-You fellas better not be bullshitting me. Because if you are…”

Craig led the blond to a chair to sit him down. “We’re not Butters. We remember, albeit it’s only been about a month when Kenny confessed to us and we believed him. But…he was under the impression that YOU didn’t remember.”

“I didn’t remember!? Fucking really!? Why the hell would Ken think I didn’t remember!? Him being dead for that one long period of time when we were nine was the damn reason I became Professor Chaos! Every super villain fully knows their damn origin story! Of course I freaking remember! And I also know every damn reason I’ve been grounded and I got severely grounded after I asked the others where Kenny was when they suddenly wanted me to hang out with them and Eric told my parents I was making insensitive jokes about his death!”

Butters let out a deep breath and rubbed his forehead, trying not to get any blood on his face. “And then he just comes back months later and no one remembers anything about him bein’ dead. Just that he was not hanging around the rest of us for reasons. No one remembers Eric drinking his ashes and Ken being able to talk through him for a while or the real reason they built that ladder to Heaven. And it wasn’t until he shot himself in front of us during all that Cthulhu bullshit and explained he couldn’t die and he just revived, when I finally figured out how it happened. And I was the only one that fucking remembered! And I had to sit there in that fucking cage for HOURS staring at his dead body until it and his blood slowly disappeared and him and the others just show up the next day like nothing happened!”

The blond curled up in the chair he was sitting in and sniffled a few times. “I thought when I finally tried asking him about it and he brushed me off about it, that it was just him trying to protect me and not wanting me to get in trouble for asking about it… but for him to not fucking realize I KNEW and then doing all that he could to risk his life for me thinkin’ I wouldn’t remember…”

Butters let out a frustrated growl and gripped his hair as he stared at Kenny’s body on the ground. “I wanna kick him so fucking hard right now!”

Craig put his hand on the teen’s shoulder. “Kicking dead Kenny won’t help the situation. First off, he’s not going to feel it, so all the pain and emotion you’re feeling will be lost to him. Second, when he revives tomorrow, you two need some serious relationship counseling. Everything you told us tonight, you need to tell him. If he doesn’t realize you remember, then he doesn’t know what him dying in front of you does to you. Sit him down and MAKE him listen to you. And if you need support, we’re here for you.”

Butters sniffed and looked up at the two. “Thanks fellas. For letting me vent and helpin’ me feel better.”

Tweek gave the blond a side hug. “P-Promised Kenny we’d look a-after you after stuff like th-this happened. But Craig is r-right, talk to Kenny t-tomorrow. Let him know h-how you feel.”

“I will. I promise.”

——————————————-

After Tweek helped Butters get cleaned up and Craig cleaned what he could of the shop, (Butters assured the two that once midnight hit, any trace of blood would disappear) the three made their way home since Butters lived on the opposite side where they lived.

As Craig shifted over on his bed to make room for Tweek, the blond hesitantly walked through the door and sat on the side. Craig furrowed his eyebrows. “Something wrong Tweek?”

“I-Is this okay for us to d-do this? I mean…I didn’t r-really get permission from you to s-sleep in the same bed with y-you or you in mine wh-when we use my bed.”

“You sleep better at night. The dark bags under your eyes are noticeably lighter and you’ve had less nightmares and anxiety attacks. I told you I didn’t mind Tweek.”

Tweek sighed and turned to face Craig. “But…this is… wh-what people in a relationship d-do. And I feel l-like I’m taking a-advantage of you when I d-do this. I mean, y-you were already ready f-for me to come in. I…”

“You’re not taking advantage of me Tweek. I told you that I want to do everything I can to help you. You’re one of my best friends and I care about you so much dude. You and your family have done so much for me that I want to mimic the gesture. And…to be honest…your smell calms me down. Makes me less prone to get angry and be an asshole.”

“My…s-smell?”

“Coffee and cinnamon. It’s so comforting and grounds me, keeps me focused. You smelled like that when you carried me home. It was the only smell I could distinguish through my stuffy nose and it just made me feel warm and safe.”

The blond smiled slightly and scooted himself further on the bed and into the covers beside Craig. “Then smell a-away weirdo. But in all s-seriousness…”

Craig sighed and put his arm around Tweek, pulling the blond closer. “Let me guess…the Bunny relationship got you to thinking, didn’t it?”

“Bunny?”

“Butters and Kenny. Bunny. What Butters said tonight is what’s bringing this up, isn’t it?”

Tweek nodded after punching Craig lightly in the arm. “I s-swear…you and Clyde w-with your names. Did y-you know he calls us Creek?”

“Yeah…I also know he “ships” us, Token told me, and I told Token that right now, neither of us is looking for any sort of relationship at the moment, whether it be with each other since right now, I can’t stand the thought of being anywhere without you, or with other people. We’ve both got a lot of shit on our plates and don’t need the added pressure. I DO really care a lot about you though Tweek. I just want to be honest and tell you that.”

The blond snuggled more into Craig. “I c-care about you too Craig. And y-you’re right. I’m too terrified o-of being in a relationship w-with anyone at the moment, or at least one that p-people expect me to act a c-certain way in it. But…I think I’ve f-figured out I at least l-like guys. Girls terrify the shit out o-of me.”

“I couldn’t see you with a girl. They smell like flowers and gross fruity body spray shit. It would mask your cinnamon coffee smell and I don’t think I could handle that. And most guys with their damn sweat and Axe body spray shit. Nope. Not happening.”

Tweek giggled as Craig took a deep sniff of his hair. “You’ve e-effectively narrowed down my choices by l-like ninety five percent of our h-high school, you realize th-that?”

“I REALLY like your smell. No one will take it away from me.”

“Do you l-like me or my sm-smell more? And now that I th-think about it, it’s more l-like ninety nine percent. Bunny is t-together, Token’s with Nichole, and wh-while Clyde likes blondes, he’s s-straight. That l-leaves you and the G-Goths. They smell l-like coffee but also cigarettes and th-that smell is disgusting.”

Craig smiled as he nuzzled the blond. “That’s an unfair question. You and your smell co-exist with each other. I can't like one without the other. And yeah…no Goths. I make black hair look good but there’s no way you could pull it off. And I JUST got rid of the dark bags under your eyes. No more of that. And they also drink their coffee black and you hate the taste of straight coffee without something to dilute it.”

Tweek hummed and he reached over and turned off the lamp on the nightstand as he processed the underlying words Craig was trying to say. “Okay Craig, wh-when I’m ready for an a-actual relationship, I’ll tell you and th-then you can confess your c-crush on me and then w-we can be Daddy Clyde’s gay baby ch-children and he c-can ship us to his h-heart’s content. Thanks for g-giving me time and not p-pressuring me.”

“Tweek! I…”

“Love you too Craig.”

Chapter Text

To say Craig Tucker was happy the next day was a huge understatement. The now eighteen year old was practically RADIATING joy. Even Mr. Mackey (who had been given a huge pay raise to continue being the school counselor for a particular group of kids as they went through school and graduated) had NEVER seen THE Craig Tucker THIS happy as the teen filled out the change of address forms in his office. The teen hadn’t even flipped him off ONCE in the twenty minutes Craig was in there.

Craig all but skipped to his next class with a huge smile on his face, forcing the entire Calculus class to forget the lesson just to try to figure out why the hell Craig Tucker was so happy. Near the end of class, Craig looked over to a very confused Clyde and squeed. The bell rang and Craig rushed out to get to Chemistry, humming and skipping away.

——————————————-

Sent 11:05am

CLYDE: Uh…So Craig was super happy during math. We couldn’t do the lesson because we were freaked out. He squeed Token. Squeed.

Sent 11:06am

TOKEN: Tweek seemed to be in a real good mood as well. Not…as animated as what you described Craig as, but he was less twitchy.

Sent 11:07am

CLYDE: (｡◕‿‿◕｡) You don’t think… I mean that WOULD make a good birthday present. We both know Craig’s been borderline secretly crushing on Tweek for like two weeks. I can recognize that smitten look on someone’s face when they like somebody.

Sent 11:08am

TOKEN: Oh god that emoji. Should have never showed you how to save those on your phone you damn weeb. And what do you mean secretly? Secret means your crush doesn’t know and I’m pretty sure Tweek is FULLY aware of Craig’s crush. He confessed he’s actually had one on Craig as well.

Sent 11:10am

CLYDE: So they totally got together last night! They finally confessed their undying feelings for each other and now I can ship them officially! My gay baby sons are together!

Sent 11:11am

TOKEN: -_- Slow down there Clyde. We don’t know YET. We can ask them at lunch. For all we know, he’s just excited for his birthday. Speaking of, you still set on getting Craig’s Super Secret Birthday present?

Sent 11:12am

CLYDE: You’re a poopy head Token. Ruining my ship. :P And yeah, still set on getting his bday present. We leaving right as school ends?

Sent 11:12am

TOKEN: Yeah, remember my excuse is my parents need help with something after school and you need to ask your coach about Friday’s game. Tweek already gave me his house key during AP English. Craig is going to LOVE this!

————————————–

The last thing on Craig’s mind was learning chemical equations and luckily the class was just told to read three chapters and take notes while their teacher had to take care of the mess in her lab from the previous class. Why the school even let Kyle and Cartman in the same Chemistry class was still lost to the entire student body and they all knew it was inevitable for something to finally explode.

The noirette closed his eyes as last night’s events played through his head. Tweek had told him he loved him. He knew it would probably still be a long while until the blond was comfortable with actually being in a relationship, but just hearing that Tweek harbored the same feelings like he did meant everything, official relationship or not. He’d wait forever if he had to.

Craig honestly didn’t know how it happened. He hadn’t had feelings for anyone since Sophomore year and even the two he had dated didn’t cause the spark of joy and warm feelings like he had when he was around Tweek. He had at first, chalked it to him just feeling bad about what had happened in the blond’s life and wanting to make up for lost time, but as the days passed, and Tweek jokingly asking him one day at work if he had a crush on him because he had the same stupid lovesick look that Clyde got when he was crushing on a girl, Craig had realized the truth.

He thanked every possible deity (even that Karma bitch) on Tweek not freaking out when he couldn’t give the blond a truthful answer but ever since that day nearly two weeks ago, he noticed the blond interacting with him more. It was small things during the day, like a lingering touch as Tweek handed him his drinks or leaning on him as they watched movies or played video games. At night, Craig could count on one hand (one finger if you wanted to be specific) the number of times they hadn’t ended up sleeping in the same bed for various reasons. Craig told himself that it was to benefit Tweek, the blond HAD been sleeping more during the night, but Craig himself still couldn’t believe the need HE had for needing comforting himself.

And now his (not so) secret crush had been exposed BY his crush and he had an inkling Tweek had liked him back, but to actually HEAR the words…he was a damn lovesick puppy. He was pretty sure he had made a fool of himself in Calculus and made the mistake of doing that high pitched squealing Clyde usually did AT Clyde. He knew he wasn’t going to hear the end of it at lunch.

“Well…I’m glad ONE of us is happy. What the hell happened last night after…you know?”

Craig was broken out of his thoughts by Kenny’s muffled voice, one he hadn’t heard in a while. Sure enough, the blond had his hood up and was looking frustrated at his phone.

“First, have you talked to Butters at all?”

The answer to Craig’s question was in the form of Kenny shoving his phone in the noirette’s face. He took it and scrolled through the few messages on the screen.

Sent 8:00am

KENNY: Hey Buttercup, sorry we weren’t able to hang out at the coffee shop last night. I still can’t believe Kim called me in again on a Monday.

Sent 11:30am

LEO: We’re skipping lunch today. You and I need to talk Kenneth.

Craig gave the blond back his phone and Kenny groaned into his hood. “Seriously Craig, what the hell happened?”

The noirette sighed and looked around, making sure no one was listening to their conversation. “Do you want the long or short version?”

“I’m not going to like what you’re about to tell me, am I?”

“Long or short McCormick.”

“…Short. I’m probably gonna hear it all from Leo. Better let him tell me in his own words.”

Craig leaned closer to the blond. “He knows.”

Kenny furrowed his eyebrows. “Knows what Craig?”

“He KNOWS.”

Immediately the blond’s eyes grew wide and Kenny was glad his hood muffled most of his shocked gasp. “What!? Leo…KNOWS!?”

“That’s what I said Kenny, but like you said, it would be better for him to tell you. He was pretty upset with you last night. Kept wanting to kick your body. And I have never heard Butters cuss that many times before. Saying he was pissed is an understatement.”

The blond put his hands on his face and groaned loudly. “I am so fucked.”

————————————

Tweek was extremely glad he still twitched slightly, otherwise the whole student body would probably turn their attention on him as he made his way through the school day. As it was, he was slightly twitchier than usual, a side effect of the extremely good mood Craig had been in when they woke up to get ready for school. The teen had been practically exploding with happiness that Tweek couldn’t help but want to share in Craig’s joy.

He had made a bold move last night, an extremely bold move, in telling Craig that he loved him. While it was obviously supposed to be a secret, Tweek knew Craig well enough to know the noirette had a crush on him, ever since the day he saw the lovesick look on Craig’s face as he made drink orders at work. The fact that Craig couldn’t be honest with him when he asked helped proved it more, especially when Craig told him what he had told Token.

The blond was grateful that, while they both admitted last night that they liked each other, they were in agreement to wait until they were both ready. Tweek knew that he had been trying hard in the few weeks he had learned of Craig’s “secret” crush on him, to get used to things people did in a relationship. Initiating some of the interactions with Craig was helping Tweek relax and tell his brain that this was an okay thing.

As he sat in Anatomy taking notes while their teacher was helping clean up one of the Chemistry labs, he smiled and hummed.

“Sounds like someone’s in a good mood.”

Tweek looked up to see Butters staring at him with a sad smile on his face. The teen looked worn, with the slight hint of puffiness under his eyes. It looked like the blond hadn’t slept.

“Butters, d-did you even sleep last night? You l-look…um…not g-good.”

Butters rubbed his eyes across his face and shook his head. “Was thinkin’ about Ken and what I wanted to say to him. He sent me a message this morning and I’ve been rackin’ my brain trying to figure out how to respond.”

The blond showed Tweek the text and it took the teen a minute to think of a response.

“W-Well, you obviously want to l-let him know everything, so I don’t th-think a text would be the best idea. Just s-say you want to talk as soon as p-possible. Maybe skip lunch? That w-way you know you won’t be disturbed.”

Butters quickly typed a reply on his phone and sighed. “Well, that’s done. How should I approach him about it? Just calmly lead him away or drag him away?”

“Y-You were pretty upset with h-him last night. Let him know y-you mean serious business.”

“I was, wasn’t I!? Yeah! I’m not gonna let him think it’s not a serious conversation! I’m dragging him away, whether he likes it or not!”

Tweek snorted and put his hand on the blond’s shoulder. “You g-got this Butters!”

“So…enough about me. Why are you in a good mood? Is it because of Craig because I heard some of the kids from Calculus last period were freaked out because he was in an extremely joyful mood the entire period. Esther even claimed he squeed.”

Tweek looked down and a slight blush grew on his face. “Well… before anything i-is said, we’re not together y-yet…but I kind of told Craig that I knew of his c-crush on me and…that I l-love him.”

Butters’s eyes grew wide and his smile grew. “Tweek! You two-”

“We’re not t-together yet Butters. We’re both n-not ready yet. Too much sh-shit right now to deal with. K-Keep it on the down-low.”

“My lips are sealed.”

——————————————–

As Craig waited for Tweek to walk out of class, the noirette watched as a very determined Butters Stotch stormed up to his secret boyfriend and led him forcefully away in the opposite direction of the lunchroom.

“O-Oh! I guess Butters really DID d-drag Kenny away. I mean he told me he would d-do it, but I guess he’s more pissed th-than I thought.”

Craig chuckled and the two walked in the lunchroom. “Well, you dealing with pissed off Butters was probably a lot better than me having to deal with Kenny saying “I’m fucked.” about a million times. By the way…before they get here, I did something completely stupid.”

“Craig…”

“I…might have…kinda…squeed in Calculus and scared the entire class because I was still in lovesick happy mode from last night.”

Tweek sighed and put his hand on Craig’s shoulder. “Yeah… Kind of h-heard already. So this secret crush y-you have on me is a whole lot b-bigger than I thought, isn’t it? It might b-be a problem if you’re scaring children n-now. You didn’t m-make Clyde cry, did you?”

“No, I didn’t make Clyde cry. I’ll bet you that he blabbed the whole event to Token though. And he’ll probably think the obvious, so be ready to crush his dreams.”

—————————————

Sure enough once Clyde slammed through the doors, the brunette made his way to the table and stared at the two with the damn puppy dog look he was know for making when he wanted something.

Token sat down a few minutes later and sighed. “Okay you two, something happened last night. So spill so Clyde doesn’t explode or piss himself.”

Craig rolled his eyes and flipped the two off as he grinned. “Tweek told me he knows about my crush on him…and also that he loves me. We’re not together though, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Y-Yet.”

Craig whipped his head to stare at the blond beside him as Tweek’s face grew redder. “Tweek…”

“I m-meant what I said last night Craig. Just as I kn-know you mean what you said.”

Tweek looked up stared in Token and Clyde’s faces. “It’ll h-happen, trust me, but w-we’re both not ready even th-though we’ve more or l-less admitted our feelings. I’m st-still trying to get used to people, e-even though I trust and care for all of y-you.”

Craig smiled slightly, ruffling Tweek’s hair. “And I’m still in the process of dealing with feeling emotional attachment to others that aren’t my precious Streak. I really didn’t realize how fucked up my family made me with their emotionless not giving a fuck about anyone bullshit.”

Token smiled and slightly punched Clyde. “Well that settles it. Clyde, leave them alone now. You’ll get your ship eventually.”

The brunette whined, causing the table to laugh.

Craig wiped tears out of his eyes as he struggled to not laugh and looked at Token and Clyde. “So I guess after school, we should head to the mall. I’m not sure if Butters and Kenny will be joining us. They have…problems to sort out.”

“Actually Craig, you’ll have to count me out for the mall trip. Mom and dad want me home to physically make sure some of the remodeling guys are doing their job. I can come over later to the house though to hang out.”

Clyde swallowed the bite of his sandwich. “Count me out too. Coach wanted to go over some plays with me since he got some intel on the team we’re playing Friday. But it probably won’t take but an hour or so. I can meet you at the house as well later.”

Craig turned to Tweek and mock pouted. “Don’t say you have plans too! Like you couldn’t cancel your therapy appointment or something?”

The blond giggled and shook his head. “Nope. I’m a-all yours today! Ms. Walker actually thought i-it might be a good idea to m-miss an appointment every now and th-then since I seem to be d-doing better than I have been.”

Clyde grinned. “See Craig! You’ve at least got Tweek your not-boyfriend-yet to hang out with! Like a…not-date!”

Token groaned and face-palmed. “Clyde. Dude. Please stop talking before I punch you. Seriously.”

—————————————

Craig and Tweek spent about an hour in the arcade at the mall before walking around the stores. For a “not-date” as Clyde described it, Craig was seriously having fun, even if the others weren’t here. Tweek hardly had a reason for coming to the mall, except for when his mom made him come with her, so it was interesting seeing him wander around some of the stores he normally didn’t go in.

One store that Craig was really surprised Tweek dragged him into was the Lush store that opened a few weeks ago. As his nose was bombarded by the fruity scents, Tweek thrust a bottle in his hands as he made his way over to the bath bombs.

Craig raised his eyebrow as he read the labels. “It’s Raining Men? Uh…Tweek?”

The blond came back holding about ten bath bombs. “Smell it! It s-smells like bees having sex! I’ve b-been out of my favorite body wash f-for like months now and haven’t w-wanted to pay a fortune for shipping.”

The noirette popped the cap open and gave a deep whiff. The strong smell of honey and toffee invaded his nostrils and deep in Craig’s mind, he really didn’t mind Tweek smelling like this at night. He pushed the cap down and looked at the price.

“Whoa! Tweek, this is like twenty dollars!”

“Yeah, b-but I usually get the ten dollar bottle b-because I usually buy it online and th-the shipping is about as much as th-the product. And a small b-bottle lasts around a y-year for me since it’s super concentrated. I f-figured since you use my shampoo and conditioner, y-you’d want to use the body wash t-too.”

Craig shook his head and walked with Tweek to the counter. “And the bath bombs?”

“Mom s-sent me with money to get th-them for her. She has an a-addiction to them.”

“Well, I guess I know what to get her for Christmas then.”

——————————–

Craig made his way into the shoe store as Tweek noticed a music shop next door and the two agreed to meet each other near the benches between the two stores. There was a particular brand of shoe Craig liked to wear and he was currently looking for his size.

As he was sitting in the chairs along the wall trying on shoes, he suddenly heard a gentle strumming of a guitar on the other side of the wall and a familiar voice singing.

If you’ll be my star
I’ll be your sky
You can hide underneath me and come out at night
When I turn jet black
And you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine

But you can skyrocket away from me
And never come back if you find another galaxy
Far from here with more room to fly
Just leave me your stardust to remember you by

The voice didn’t sound right without the stuttering and the only time he had ever heard it was when the teen was listing off steps for a beverage, but that was unmistakably Tweek.

Craig put the shoes he was trying on back on the rack and walked out of the store and into the music shop. Following the guitar strumming and the singing, he found himself near the back of the shop, mesmerized by the guitar playing and singing Tweek.

If you’ll be my star
I’ll be your sky
You can hide underneath me and come out at night
When I turn jet black
And you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine

But you can skyrocket away from me
And never come back if you find another galaxy
Far from here with more room to fly
Just leave me your stardust to remember you by

The blond looked so peaceful as he played the instrument, a beautiful acoustic who’s wood looked like the swirl of coffee as Tweek added his milk and stirred it, like it was made for him. Craig’s heart clenched at the sight.

Tweek finished the song and looked up, nearly freaking out as he saw Craig standing in front of him with that same lovesick look he had given Tweek several times now.

“I didn’t know you played.”

“Oh! I-I’m just a beginner. Ms. Walker l-lets me practice on hers since she found it c-calms me down a bit and keeps me focused.”

Tweek put the guitar back on the rack and checked his phone. “I g-guess we should get going. I think th-the guys were gonna come o-over about six thirty. It’s six now.”

Craig was still staring at the guitar. “You wouldn’t have to be a beginner if you had it and I’d love to hear you play more. You should buy it. It seriously looks like it was made for you.”

The blond looked back at it. “It…would be nice, b-but it’s too expensive. It’s about three hundred and I wouldn’t b-be able to save enough before it w-was probably sold. And I need m-my money to help pay for my th-therapy and medicine. Where’s your sh-shoes?”

The noirette looked off to the side. “Uh, they were out of my size on the ones I really wanted. But the clerk said they’d get another shipment in and I gave him my phone number when they get it. You ready?”

Tweek nodded and began walking out of the store, Craig following behind to catch another glance at the guitar.

————————————

Token’s car was on the street in front of the house as Craig and Tweek walked up and Token and Clyde were sitting on the porch talking. They stood up and grinned as Tweek padded his pocket.

“Uh Craig…I th-think I left my key on the nightstand. H-Hope you have yours.”

As the noirette was busy unlocking the door, Token slipped Tweek his key back.

The fours boys walked in the front door and Craig turned around. “So…what do you guys want to do? Watch movies or play video games or what?”

“M-Movies sound good, but let’s watch th-them in your room. The bed’s b-bigger.”

Tweek, Clyde, and Token stayed back a bit as Craig climbed the stairs to his room. As Craig made his way to his door, Clyde stepped back and into Tweek’s room.

The noirette walked into his room and turned around to tell the others to hurry and get in when he spotted the intricately built cage in the corner of the room. His eyes grew wide as he saw it, tears wielding up. “G-Guys…”

Clyde walked back into the room, holding a cage with a happily whistling guinea pig. “I think someone’s been missing her daddy a whole lot! Happy Birthday Craig!”

No one could describe the inhuman sound Craig made as he grabbed the cage and pulled Streak out and began to cuddle the rodent, making cooing noises as Streak whistled and purred.

Craig sniffed as he looked up at his friends. “Guys…seriously…just…this is…”

Token put his hand on Craig’s shoulder. “It was Tweek’s idea actually. We were just the delivery crew and builders while Tweek kept you at the mall.”

“I kn-knew you wouldn’t ask mom and dad i-if you could have Streak so I asked f-for you and they said yes. Got Token and Clyde in on it and w-we all put in money to get supplies f-for the cage. They went to North P-Park and got Streak from Ruby and c-came back here and them and dad b-built the cage while he was on h-his break from the shop.”

Craig gave Streak one more tiny snuggle before putting her in her new cage and pulled Tweek into a deep hug. “Thank you Tweek! Oh my god dude, thank you! I love you so much!”

Clyde chuckled. “I guess we’re chopped liver then. Craig doesn’t love us Token! Our son has forsaken us!”

The noirette rolled his eyes and motioned for the two. “Come on then! Get in the damn hug!”

——————————-

To no one’s surprise, Streak got along quite well with Tweek as the blond held her in his lap, the guinea pig purring loudly as he fed her sweet potato chips.

Clyde chuckled as he saw the display. “Of course Streak likes Tweek. She knows that’s her future mommy!”

Craig flipped the brunette off as Tweek jokingly held his hand over Streak’s eyes. “Don’t f-flip off people in front of my f-future daughter! She’s young a-and impressionable. Man…that’s gonna b-be a great conversation with mom and dad. Mom…dad…h-here’s your possible future granddaughter. H-Her name is Streak.”

Token furrowed his eyebrows. “So Tweek…speaking of, how would your parents feel about if you start dating Craig? I mean…when…”

“They t-told me as long as I’m happy, then th-they accept anyone I choose to be with. And they REALLY l-like Craig.”

Craig leaned against Tweek and scratched Streak on her ear. “I’m glad too.”

——————————-

Even though both Tweek and Streak were well on their way to dreamland, Craig was still awake and still thinking about the events of the day. His thoughts kept drifting back to the guitar and Tweek’s playing. He knew that the calming stimulation of it wouldn’t solve all his problems that his medicine was doing, but honestly, Tweek needed something readily available when his normal outlets were unavailable.

And that guitar was just gorgeous and fit Tweek perfectly. He imagined cold winter days when they were both working and the blond could pull it out and play while there weren’t customers. He imagined laying on Tweek’s bed with Streak while the teen played soothing melodies. He imagined Tweek singing again and a slight blush crept across his face.

Like he needed another reason to love Tweek as much as he did. Three hundred dollars though… And Tweek was right. The guitar probably wouldn’t be there long.

Craig looked up and stared at the jar on his dresser, the one he had been putting his saved money for his basketball fees and shoes. He’d have enough for the fees by this week since he didn’t buy his shoes today. And by Tweek’s birthday in a little over two weeks, he’d have his goal. His goal, he decided, was not going to basketball, but for Tweek’s guitar.

Chapter Text

South Park, just like other relatively small farm towns, effectively died once 9pm hit. Only a handful of businesses stayed open past the witching hour as it were; the convenience store, Skeeter’s Bar, and the greasy diner next to the coffee shop.

After finishing his burger and fries, the skinny blond teen known as Kenny McCormick trudged out of the diner and navigated the narrow passage between the two buildings. Under the full moon’s light, the teen cast off his parka and pants and stuffed them in the backpack he had carried after pulling out the dark purple fabric of his cape, the rest of his costume had already been put on at his house. He slipped the hood on and tied his mask on his face.

Placing the backpack behind the coffee shop’s dumpster, (where he knew it wouldn’t be disturbed; unspoken reassurance by the Tweaks) Mysterion made his way across the alley, looking up to try to spot who he was about to meet at the U-Stor-It buildings.

Mysterion effortlessly climbed the side of one of the storage units, noting the conveniently placed ladder. The person he was to meet was already there at the end of the building, cape swaying in the wind and the metal parts of his costume shining in the moonlight.

“Professor Chaos.”

“Mysterion.”

There had been an unspoken rule between the best friends turned lovers. No fighting as Kenny and Butters. They were the BEST of friends, a claim unmatched even from Stan and Kyle, and nothing could and would tear apart that status. Even small misunderstandings would quickly be resolved by the two.

The same wasn’t true for Mysterion and Professor Chaos. Ever since the purple clad superhero had made his presence known in South Park, the citizens had deemed the two destined to be mortal enemies and to fight at every instance of their meeting.

This suited their civilian identities just fine. Any possible fight that needed escalating would result in the superhero and super villain meeting at a predetermined location and duke it out. And after the harsh mental beating Kenny had got from Butters earlier today, Mysterion was ready to physically beat his frustration out on Chaos.

Both attacked without warning, Mysterion starting with a kick while Chaos decided a punch would be better. Kicks and punches flew through the air as the two danced across the storage building, the only sounds were the teens’ heavy breathing and the slight crinkle of the foil on Chaos’s costume.

Weapons were strictly off limits for both of them as was Mysterion hitting anywhere that couldn’t be covered up by clothes or makeup. Chaos had no limits on Mysterion however, and used his strongest punches and kicks on the hero wherever he could hit. The two refused to talk or taunt this night, unlike most of the other times they confronted one another. Both knew what they wanted to say, but that would come later once there was a winner.

Mysterion did a sweep kick on Chaos’s legs and the villain buckled down, but not before grabbing the bunched up material of Mysterion’s cape and pushing the teen down, falling on top of the purple clad superhero to break his fall.

The superhero moved to try to get up, but Chaos pushed his chest down and threw off his helmet, revealing messy blond hair and a flushed face that made the near invisible silvery scar on the villain’s left eye shine as the moonlight illuminated his face.

Mysterion knew he had lost as soft lips savagely attacked his own dry ones and the hero wrapped his arms around Chaos’s small frame, bringing his arch nemesis closer to him. The two kissed for a minute before Chaos broke out of the kiss slowly.

The look in both of their eyes meant their time as enemies was over and they were back to being Kenny and Butters, two teens that probably were WAY too old to still be playing a game the others had quit playing when they were ten.

“I’m still mad at you mister.”

“I know.”

Butters rolled off of Kenny and stood up, retrieving his helmet and walked to the edge of the building. He sat down and put his helmet beside him, patting the ground with his other hand.

Kenny made his way over to the edge and sat down beside Butters, the two sitting there silently as they watched the lights of South Park slowly flick off as businesses closed and residents went to sleep.

“You know, I’m Professor Chaos because of you. The others don’t remember because it was during the time you were dead for so long. The fellas tried replacin’ you with me but I was ultimately too lame for them and kicked me out of the group. I was so hurt and betrayed that I vowed to make the world suffer.”

Kenny smiled slightly. “I remember Kyle telling me some of your plans you did before I came back to life. I never knew the reason you became Chaos though and initially thought it was something you came up with to play with us when we all had those weapons. When…when did you first remember?”

“A couple of days after you died that really long time. The fellas just barged into my room and told me that I was hangin’ out with them from now on and I was the new Kenny. I asked where you were and what you did to get them pissed off at you and they got super defensive and sad. Eric got me grounded by telling my parents I was being insensitive about your death. And once you came back and they didn’t remember you even being gone, I quickly learned to keep my mouth shut when you died.”

Kenny sighed and wrapped his arm around Butters, throwing his cape across the two of them since the Chaos cloak was only doing so much on keeping Butters’s bare arms warm. “I really should have asked if anyone remembered me being gone. I knew Cartman knew for some reason and he surprisingly always kept quiet about it, but I should have seen if others remembered too.”

His eyes widened as his skin paled. “Oh god…you were there! You were there in that cage when I shot myself! Leo…how long…did you…?”

“A few hours. Luckily it was almost midnight, but still…just seeing your lifeless corpse kept me up the rest of that night, even after your body disappeared. At least Eric was there the second time and he broke us out of the cage after everyone left and he took me home and made sure I was okay before leaving and telling me it would be okay. That was like the only time I’ve ever really seen Eric bein’ NICE. I guess he thought I would forget.”

“I’m so fucking sorry Leo. At this point in my life, it’s just become clockwork to make excuses for not hanging out or being somewhere when I know I die. I just didn’t realize how much it was affecting you. I really should have figured out you had known. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Butters smiled sadly. “I tried once. But…the way you brushed me off felt like you had realized I knew and wanted to protect me from getting in trouble. But then you kept dyin’ in front of me or near me and every excuse the next day just became too much to handle. I just…snapped when you died in the coffee shop and I’m so glad Tweek and Craig remember. I’ve been so scared I’m gonna slip up and somehow my parents find out… That was one of the worse groundings I’ve ever got.”

The blond’s eyes got the vacant look that Kenny knew Butters sometimes got when the teen remembered a traumatizing event in his childhood. Butters absentmindedly rubbed his left shoulder and Kenny narrowed his eyes, knowing full well that there was an old scar on that shoulder that suspiciously looked like it came from a belt.

“We could leave now, leave this town behind forever. Just take what I’ve saved so far and just go wherever. You’re eighteen so you’re an adult now and I could care less about finishing school. We can figure out a way to get your records and get you into another school without your parents finding out.”

Butters lightly punched Kenny’s chest and pouted. “No Ken, you’re not dropping out. You’re in the Top Ten of our class! I’m not gonna let you waste your smarts! You’ve worked so hard to prove your dad wrong about you. We’re both finishing school here and then we leave. I can manage another seven months before graduation.”

Kenny sighed and pulled Butters closer to him. “What would I do without you Buttercup? You’re always looking out for me and making sure I take care of myself, you know.”

“Someone’s gotta do it Ken. You certainly aren’t mister, dyin’ all the time and stuff. ”

“I can’t help when I die or how but I’ll try to not do it in front of you as much, but no promises. But…Leo… promise me that you make sure you’re not alone if it happens. I don’t want you alone even if I just come back the next day. Find someone to be with while I’m gone. I’d prefer it be Craig and Tweek since they know, Cartman as a last resort, just…someone. Please?”

Butters nodded and closed his eyes. “Alright. You gonna tell Eric that I know? How does HE even know anyway?”

Kenny chuckled. “I might. I mean…I haven’t told him Craig and Tweek remember, but maybe it might be a good idea that everyone that remembers knows who else remembers. And I honestly don’t even know how he remembers. He just…DOES. I did have a theory that since he technically has my eyes from one incarnation and he did drink my ashes, that he remembers because I’ve been in his body so many times.”

The smaller blond giggled and raised his eyebrows. “Oh my…kinky…”

“No! Don’t think those dirty thoughts Leo! You’ve got the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child!

“You know that’s bullshit because you’re the reason it’s bullshit Ken.”

Kenny smirked and began to lean over Butters, brushing his lips across the smaller blond’s. “Well then…I guess you’re just gonna have to prove that to me.”

A movement from the shadows and a metallic sound below them put the two teens on alert and the two silently moved to hide themselves. Peering over the edge, both Butters and Kenny recognized the figure of the robber that had killed Kenny yesterday. The man was trying to bash in one of the locks on one of the storage buildings.

Butters turned to the taller blond and smirked, placing his helmet back on his head. “You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’ Mysterion?”

“The enemy of my enemy is my friend, Chaos.”

—————————————–

It hurt to breathe and the man’s legs felt like they were about to fall off as he kept trying to run, the shrill cackling sounding behind him and the metallic finish of the villain’s costume who was chasing him momentarily blinding him at moments.

All Ryan Winters wanted to do that night was break in to one of the unguarded storage buildings in this redneck hick town and make off with something he could pawn for some fast cash. He’d already messed up the previous night when he couldn’t even rob a damn coffee shop full of teenagers. And now he was being chased by some freak thinking he was the Joker or something.

Being from Middle Park, Ryan had heard stories of the crazy things that happened in South Park, but he had never thought that the kids here were STILL playing superheroes and super villains. Didn’t they start that like eight or so years ago, back when that Cthulhu mess happened? Shouldn’t they have stopped doing this ages ago? The kids WERE fucked up here. No wonder there was such a rivalry between the towns.

The man’s foot slipped in a puddle and he came crashing down on the pavement in the alley he was in. Footsteps sounded in front of him and the menacing figure of Professor Chaos stood in the entrance of the alley, grinning madly. The moonlight hit the villain just right, casting shadows where they were needed and illuminating the metal in a sinister light. Ryan could tell that normally the teen in the costume was probably on the smaller side, but right now, he looked eight feet tall.

Ryan scooted back as Chaos began walking toward him, grin becoming more manic with each step. “You sure did pick the wrong place to rob, didn’t ya mister? Heh, what to do with you?”

The man’s heart beat faster as he kept scooting back, shivers ran through him as the villain moved closer to him. He bumped into something soft and shrieked as he looked up and saw the darkened face of another person he had bumped into before recognizing the M on the chest and the bobbing question mark on the hood.

“M-Mysterion! You’re Mysterion! You’re here to save me!”

The purple clad superhero chuckled and grabbed the man by the front of the shirt and lifted him up. “There’s only one bad guy in my city and YOU just interrupted a very important fight between him and me. Chaos, I think we should show him what happens to people that interrupt our fights.”

The villain came up behind the man and put his hands on the robber’s shoulders and giggled. “Couldn’t agree more Mysterion. I was really lookin’ forward to this fight. I had so MUCH built up aggression. I reckon I’ll have to take it out on you mister.”

“Then be my guest Chaos. First punch is all yours.”

————————————————————-

“Well, it looks like Bunny is back to being the adorable couple they are. And I heard from Milly that the guy that tried to rob the shop Monday turned himself in to the police, babbling about kids in costumes beating him up.”

Token pointed his fork at Craig. “Speaking of costumes, we’re still on for going Trick or Treating next Wednesday, right? It’s a home game that week, so Tweek will be off that night.”

The lovesick look Clyde normally reserved for his crush of the week appeared on his face. “I can’t wait! All the chocolate! All the caramel! And maybe we’ll luck out and get FULL SIZE candy!”

Tweek chuckled and looked at Craig. “So, d-do you guys dress up for this or wh-what? Sounds like fun. It’s b-been a while since I’ve gone trick or treating…or d-dressed up in a costume f-for that matter.”

Craig smiled slightly, trying to push the heart clenched feeling down. “Yeah Tweek, we totally dress up and partake in begging the unsuspecting citizens to give us their candy. Last year I was a Frankenstein monster, Clyde was a werewolf, and Token was a wizard.”

Token rolled his eyes. “Warlock, Craig. I was a warlock. Two totally different things.”

“So, wh-what are you guys planning on? And i m-might need help with mine. I’m n-not good with costumes.”

Craig put his arm around the blond and leaned into him. “Don’t worry Tweek, we’ll think of something for you. Maybe a joint costume? We’ve learned that the better our costumes match, the more candy we get.”

Tweek smiled. “S-Sounds like we need to get planning th-then. I have a few ideas w-we could do. Should we a-ask Bunny if they want to join u-us?”

Clyde looked at the two with the damn glimmer in his eyes he sometimes got. “Ooooh, that’s a great idea! Six people in matching costumes will be even better! This Halloween is gonna rock!”

Chapter Text

“I am glad you’re looking a lot better than I’ve seen you around this time each year Tweek, especially since it’s your Senior Year. Normally teens at this time are stressed about their classes. I’m glad the recent changes in your life have been a positive influence on you.”

Tweek smiled at his therapist’s words and nodded. “Craig and the o-others have been super helpful and s-supportive and I’m glad we’re all friends a-again. It’s really helped k-keep the negative thoughts a-away and I’ve noticed I’ve had less anxiety attacks and I’ve b-been sleeping better.”

Ms. Walker smiled as she wrote a few things on her clipboard. “I’ve noticed you’ve been stuttering less as well. It’s more under control than when it was the first of the school year. It probably won’t fully go away and it’ll be prone to come back when you’re under a lot of stress, but I think with this progress, you might get rid of it by the end of the school year, if not earlier.”

“Really?”

The woman nodded as she grabbed her prescription pad. “Alright, since it’s the end of the month, you need an update on your medicine. I’m giving you one for the antidepressant and the mood stabilizer. Since you’ve been sleeping better, I’m going to skip the sleep aid. Are you okay with your anxiety pills or do you need an update?”

The blond shook his head. “I should b-be fine for the next month. I have most of them l-left from last month’s prescription.”

“That’s good that you’ve been needing them less. Your anxiety will always be there, but it’s good you’re finding alternate methods that are helping than relying on the pills. I’m very proud of you Tweek. You’ve come a long way from the scared and angry young boy you were when I first met you.”

“Th-Thanks Ms. Walker. I can’t believe it m-myself. I never thought I’d g-get better than what I w-was.”

The therapist handed Tweek his prescription papers and then stood up and walked to her desk where she pulled up a green gift bag. “Now, I know that I’ve mentioned I think you’d benefit more from just coming every other week than every week, so since you came this week, I’m giving you your birthday present this time since you’ll miss your birthday week. Happy early Birthday!”

Tweek took the bag from the woman and smiled as he looked at the various flavors of teas and coffee that were in the bag.

“It was hard to think of something you’d enjoy but I know you mentioned you got a Keurig and I know how much you love your tea and coffee.”

“Th-This is awesome Ms. Walker! Thank you! Craig might h-hog the tea ones since he’s a t-tea and hot chocolate fanatic, but at least the c-coffee’s all mine.”

Mr. Walker smiled. “You really think a lot of Craig since he moved in, don’t you? One of these days, you’ll have to bring him in so I can meet him. He’s very important to you I can tell.”

The blond blushed and looked away. “Yeah…he’s like, m-my best friend.”

“Sounds like a bit more than that. So, you two have plans for Halloween tomorrow? And your birthday next week?”

Tweek nodded. “P-Probably just my group hanging o-out for my birthday, but tomorrow, there’s a costume c-contest at school and then we’re going Trick or T-Treating.”

The woman grinned. “I have GOT to see this then! You know where I live so you better come and ask for candy. And tell you what, I’ll even upgrade the candy to full size if you come.”

Tweek giggled and nodded. “Clyde is gonna c-cry all over you then. That’s his ONE g-goal this Halloween. G-Getting full size candy.”

————————————

Craig looked at Tweek’s prescription bottles and frowned. “Hey Tweek, I think the pharmacist messed up and gave us your dad’s medication instead. We need to go back and tell him about his mix-up.”

“But d-dad doesn’t take any medicine…well p-prescription anyway. Let me see.”

The noirette handed Tweek his medicine bag and the blond looked at the label. “No… It’s all right. This is my m-medicine.”

“But it says Richard Tweak on the bottle. That’s your dad, not you dude.”

Tweek snorted and shook his head. “Oh my g-god Craig! That’s… In all the time y-you’ve known me, you didn’t REALLY think m-my first name was actually Tweek, d-did you? It’s a nickname.”

“What?”

The blond stopped walking when he noticed Craig wasn’t beside him and turned around to see the black haired teen staring at him incredulously. “Craig?”

“When were you going to tell me your real name wasn’t Tweek? That’s like…dude… Everything I know is a lie. I’m not a Tucker. You’re not Tweek. What if Streak is actually my father!?”

“Craig… S-Streak can’t be your father. She’s f-female and a guinea pig. And I r-really thought you already saw m-my prescription bottles with my actual n-name on them.”

Craig shook his head. “Really didn’t pay attention to that, come to think of it. I guess I should have since I help you with your pills. So…you’re actually a Richard?”

Tweek nodded. “Richard Vincent Tweak is m-my full name, but I wasn’t able to s-spell or write Richard when I was little s-so I only put my last name on my school p-papers. The teachers got mad I o-only put my last name so I s-started putting it twice but put t-two e’s instead of an a. It just w-was easier for me and others to r-remember. The only p-people that call me any variation of Richard is m-my uncle Robert’s family.”

“So… If I were to call you-”

“Call me anything b-but Tweek and I’m not s-sleeping with you tonight.”

The blond stopped and grew wide-eyed as a blush formed across his face. “Gah! I mean… Fuck!”

Craig smirked. “I’m confused. You’re not gonna sleep with me or you’re not gonna fuck me? I’m getting mixed messages… Dick.”

“You ass!”

The noirette began laughing as Tweek grabbed him and shook him and hitting him in the arm a few times. After Tweek had calmed down, Craig ruffled the blond’s hair. “Well, now that that’s over, we should really get to the mall. Token texted me and said that the amount of blue body paint I got won’t be enough and we need extra hold hairspray to keep your hair in the shape we need, especially since we’re going to school in our costumes AND going candy snatching the same day.”

“St-Still spending the night at Token’s, r-right? Oh! And my therapist w-wants us to come by her house t-tomorrow night. She said she’ll upgrade us t-to full size candy if we come b-by.”

“Yep. We’ll have to get up super early to get prepared, but at least Token will drive us to school so our costumes won’t get torn and stuff. Butters said he can get his costume on without help and all Kenny needs is help with his wig. I’m so excited. We better win the contest! And score on the full size! Just tell us where she lives and we’ll go!”

—————————–

“This was a horrible idea! Why did I let you talk me into this!? I’ve been cold all day! Why am I the only one that had to wear a dress!?”

Craig was pretty sure Token was rolling his eyes at him, but couldn’t tell because of the shades the teen was wearing over his eyes. Tweek giggled to the left of him and the normally black haired but now temporarily dyed blue haired teen groaned.

“Craig, it’s n-not that bad! Kenny’s wearing a skirt. And you look really n-nice in a dress.”

“But at least HE got to have shorts underneath! I’ve got nothing but my blue bare legs!”

“I s-still can’t believe you actually SHAVED y-your legs for this! They’re so smooth! I can’t w-wait to rub my feet on them t-tonight!”

Craig looked at the grinning blond and glared, resisting the temptation to ruffle the blonds perfectly spiked hair since they had spent thirty minutes getting it into the perfect triangular shape. “You’re wearing socks when you do it because you got some cold ass feet Tweek!”

Token chuckled and shook his head. “Speaking of asses, I’m really glad Nichole likes what she sees. She’s slapped my ass like five times in the hallways between classes. These tights are doing wonders for my love life.”

Clyde groaned beside Token as he ate a muffin, trying not to get crumbs in the long lavender wig he was wearing. “I’m sooooo alone! All I have are these wonderful muffins Tweek has graced me with! At least they’ll never leave me!”

Token patted the purple skinned boy’s shoulder. “All joking aside, we’ve got some pretty accurate costumes, especially since I definitely can tell that some of the Star Wars costumers store bought their costumes. And some of the Undertale kids REALLY don’t know how to seal their makeup. There are at LEAST three people with Jon Snow costumes, the Goths don’t give a shit, and the Vampire Kids are just themselves.”

“Hey Gems!”

The group turned to see Kenny waltz up to them, his feet gracefully gliding across the lunchroom as he made his way to the group. “You guys look great! Craig…did you shave your legs? And damn Token! That’s all your real hair, right?”

Craig growled as Token nodded and looked around the lunchroom, trying to spot the last member of their group. “Speaking of Crystal Gems…where’s the titular star of our group?”

Kenny chuckled and rocked on his feet. “Well…”Steven” is uh…helping another member of our group get ready… They’ll be here in a minute.”

Tweek smiled as he looked up at Kenny. “Wow! Butters g-got someone else to join our costume g-group? We’ll be near guaranteed to w-win with the more Gems w-we have. Who is it?”

“Hey fellas!”

The group turned to the lunchroom entrance as Butters, dressed in full Steven Universe garb, came running up to them. A second later, a person wearing a long white and pink layered dress with a star cut out in the middle with a long pink ringletted wig came walking through the door. The group stared in shock and the entire lunchroom grew silent as the person in the Rose Quartz costume walked up to the group.

The group turned to each other before staring at “Rose Quartz” again.

“CARTMAN!?”

Cartman glared at the group. “Ey! You don’t have to shout!”

Craig stared incredulously. “Butters! How the fuck did you get Cartman to dress up with us!?”

Butters grinned. “Aw, it was easy! Eric helped me put together my costume since this is one of his old shirts and asked who everyone was since he watches the show. And he found out we didn’t have a Rose, so here we are!”

Cartman rolled his eyes. “Plus the fact Stan’s Game of Thrones group wanted me to be Hodor, Kahl’s Star Wars group wanted me to be Jabba the Hut, and Wendy’s Undertale group wanted me to be Onion-San and I said fuck that to all of them. If I’m gonna be part of a costume group, I’m gonna be someone important. And I wanna fucking win! Seriously.”

Kenny, Butters, and Cartman sat down at the table, ignoring the glares from the other main costume groups, especially the ones given by Stan, Kyle, and Wendy.

Tweek smiled as he looked around. “I c-can’t believe we almost have a full g-group cosplay. Too bad we didn’t h-have a Jasper though.”

———————————————-

“This isn’t fair! This isn’t fucking fair! This is all Cartman’s fault, I just know it!”

PC Principal looked over at the sea of angry teens as the winning costume group made their way up. “Now “Kyle” Ren, the faculty all judged each costume group fairly and accurately. The Steven Universe group has most of the main Gem cast accounted for and their costumes are the most accurate of the ones we’ve judged. It’s only fair that they won.”

The teens each received the overflowing buckets of candy as Cartman sauntered over to their principal. “And might I say PC Principal, your Jasper costume is amazing! Really brings out the strong and powerful nature of her character.”

“Thank you Eric! Now see everyone! They’ve even got the personalities down. If you hadn’t already won, I’d give you another point for that!”

Token sighed and rubbed his eyes under his shades. “Should we be insulted that Kyle and Cartman are making us winning into one of their daily fights?”

Craig looked at Token and back to his bucket of candy. “I don’t fucking care. I’m still in shock Cartman actually watches the show AND put together an accurate Rose costume in less than a week. And we won, so that’s all that matters.”

——————————————-

It had been a successful candy haul as Craig and Tweek, both freshly showered and in their sleep clothes, dumped their earnings from that night as well as the candy they won on Craig’s bed to sift through it. Only Tweek’s therapist had given the boys full size candy but she made sure to make it worth it to come and gave them several bars each. Clyde did indeed cry and Tweek could tell it was taking all of Ms. Walker’s willpower to not go into therapist mode on the teen.

Tweek glared at the reject pile in disgust. “Ugh, who in their r-right mind gives kids r-raisins? Gross.”

“The same kind of people that tried to give us those damn Member Berries. I am NOT eating anything with an actual face on it. Especially since they fucking TALK. At least the toothpaste and toothbrush is practical. I got three sets. We won’t have to buy some for at least two weeks.”

Tweek looked wide-eyed at the noirette. “Oh god! I just thought o-of the same thing! Oh…Oh god! We’ve become a-adults!”

Craig snorted as he fell on his pillows. “We have! Or at least me! You’ve still got another week and a half left before you join the Old Man’s Club! Be prepared to actually WANT socks and underwear for Christmas.”

“Nooooo! I d-don’t want to be a grandpa like y-you!”

“Dick!”

The smirk Craig gave the blond confirmed he was calling him by his real name’s nickname. Tweek glared at the noirette. “That’s it! Candy fight!”

Tweek grabbed a handful of candy and threw it at Craig, who laughed and grabbed a handful of his own and quickly grabbed the blond and shoved it all down the hole of his shirt.

The blond squirmed and threw more candy, beginning to laugh as well, grateful that Streak was in an equally eloquent cage setup in his room after his mom fell in love with her “Granddaughter” and helped buy another cage so the two teens wouldn’t have to leave Streak alone when they slept in his room. Several pieces of candy were landing in her cage and they would have to get them out before bringing the guinea pig back in when they went to bed.

Craig went to grab more candy, but Tweek grabbed the noirette around his stomach and pushed him back, laying on the candy. His hand had accidentally brushed against Craig’s bare legs as he had grabbed him and Tweek put his hand back, running it across the smoothness.

“You r-really do have some smooth l-legs Craig. So soft.”

“I’m glad you’re in love with my legs Tweek. Hopefully you love the rest of me.”

“I do love th-the rest of you Craig. I really do.”

Tweek snuggled up to Craig, laying his head down on the noirette’s chest. “Craig… I know y-you probably already h-have my birthday present planned o-out, but I have a specific gift I w-want you to give me.”

Craig ran his fingers through the blond’s hair, inhaling the honey scent of Tweek’s shampoo and the constant cinnamon coffee smell that lingered with the teen. “What is it Tweek?”

“I w-want you to confess y-your crush on me.”

Craig stood still as he processed what Tweek had said. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure Craig.”

Tweek scooted up and placed a kiss on Craig’s lips. “I’m very sure.”

Chapter Text

“S-So I was thinking we could rent some b-bad movies and riff on them. And mom and dad s-said you guys could spend the night s-since they’ll be in the shop all night d-doing inventory.”

Clyde grinned evily. “And I’ll be sure to take a lot of pictures of you two cuddling! Seriously, that is like the cutest thing ever!”

Craig groaned and flipped the brunette off. “Seriously dude…can you at least wait until we’re officially together? The amount of time you’ve invested could have been… The hell do YOU want?”

The noirette turned to look as Jessica Rogers, a recent transfer student that had originally been from North Park, came walking up to the group’s table. She glanced around before finally locking her eyes with Craig and smiled.

“So Craig…and Clyde and Token, I’m having a huge party this weekend to help me get to know my classmates since I just moved here. It’s Saturday, so-”

“No.”

Jessica took a step back. “What do you mean no!?”

The noirette glared at the girl. “Tweek’s birthday is Saturday and I’m spending it with him. And don’t think I didn’t hear the fact you didn’t even INVITE him either. I don’t like going to parties and I’m not interested in anything else you have to say, so keep moving on.”

The girl shot Craig a mean look before huffing and stomping off to the next table.

“Bitch.”

Tweek watched as Craig gave the retreating teen his middle finger and looked down, picking apart the lettuce in his salad. “Um…you guys c-can go to th-the party if you w-want. I d-don’t mind. It’s just g-gonna be watching dumb m-movies and h-hanging out. We can d-do that any t-time.”

Token frowned, noting Tweek’s increased stuttering, before reaching over and placing his hand on the blond’s shoulder. “Dude, there is NO way I’m missing your birthday, especially your Eighteenth. And Craig’s right. That chick’s a bitch. I’ve heard rumors of why she had to move and I don’t want any part of that.”

Clyde reached over and ruffled Tweek’s hair. “No offence on other girls, but bros before hoes as the saying says. The only chick that’s even gonna be at our Brofest Saturday is my adorable niece Streak.”

Tweek chuckled and smiled at the two. “I-If mom doesn’t kidnap her first and b-bring her to the shop with them w-while they do inventory. Mom felt bad f-for leaving Streak all alone at the h-house while they worked and we were a-at school, so she convinced dad to build a c-cage in the back for her.”

Craig grinned and shook his head. “I think she loves Streak more than I do sometimes. I’m convinced she’s gonna fight for custody of her once Tweek and I start planning on colleges and eventually moving out.”

————————————

The Friday before Tweek’s birthday had Craig helping out Mrs. Tweak with errands while Tweek and his dad worked at the shop since the noirette traded off working that day to be off Saturday.

“Alright, all that’s left is picking up Tweek’s cake and taking it home before getting back to the shop.”

Craig fidgeted in the front seat as they turned on the road where the mall was. “Um, could you actually drop me off at the mall for a few minutes? I’ve got to get Tweek’s present. I’ve been holding off until I saved enough money and with my paycheck today, I’ve got enough.”

Mrs. Tweak smiled and pulled into the mall’s parking lot. “Of course Craig! In fact, there’s a few things I need to get at here anyway and we’ve got a few more hours until the bakery closes.”

————————–

While Tweek’s mother headed toward the Lush store, Craig made his way to the music shop, hoping that the guitar was still there. He made his way toward the back of the store where he had remembered Tweek placing the guitar and looked at the wall, the instrument finally catching his eye.

The noirette gently picked it up, the guitar humming as his hand rubbed against a string. Careful not to drop it, Craig made his way toward the front, where the owner was.

The owner, a woman with long dark hair that was braided and had fake flowers strewn in it, looked up and smiled. “I recognize you. You’re the one that left with that blond haired kid about two weeks ago. Man…that kid was a natural. He told me he was a beginner but he really has an amazing talent with that guitar. I was hoping he’d come in with you when you came in. I would have loved to hear him play again.”

Craig blushed and looked down. “Ah…actually…that would have been a bad idea. This is his surprise birthday present.”

The woman’s eyes grew wide. “Oh! Oh…yes…that would have been bad. So I’m taking it that he’s someone special to you for you to be dropping three hundred on him.”

“Yeah…you could say that.”

The woman rang up the guitar on the register and sighed. “You know…this guitar is a bit special and I feel bad for having to charge so much for it, so…you know what? I’ll throw in a case, some picks, a strap, and strings for free. I’d hate for anything bad to happen to it before it got to the birthday boy.”

The noirette smiled at the woman. “Thanks! That’s… Thank you.”

“On one condition. You have him come in a few times and play.”

Craig nodded as he picked up the guitar case and the small bag the woman put the extra items in. “You’ve got it! Also, I’m going to try to convince him to play it at the coffee shop we work in while we’re not too busy. We both work at Tweek Bros. if you ever want to try to catch him in there.”

“I’ll give it a thought. Hope he loves his present!”

————————————-

Craig came out of the music shop just as Mrs. Tweak came walking up holding a few bags in her hands. She smiled warmly but her eyes held concern as she glanced down at the guitar case in Craig’s hands.

“Craig?”

The noirette looked down as he placed the case on a nearby bench and opened the lid. “It’s…It’s Tweek’s birthday present. We came here on my birthday and while I was shopping for basketball shoes, I heard him play it and sing and I just… He HAD to have it. It felt like it was made for him. But he was discouraged by how much it was. So…I…”

Craig glanced at the shoe store and sighed. “I lied to him saying that they were out of the shoes I like since I was gonna buy them that day. The money I had been saving for my basketball stuff went to buying him this. Just seeing Tweek so happy and peaceful as he played just…stirred something in me. I wanted to see that Tweek more. I didn’t even really want to play basketball anyway, Token and Clyde just wanted me to in case I got scouted for college.”

Mrs. Tweak lightly brushed one of the strings, the guitar humming from the contact. “I had known that Tweek knew how to play since Ms. Walker told us she let him play hers but he never mentioned wanting one. I’m guessing this wasn’t cheap, was it? Since it used all your money you saved?”

Craig shook his head. “Three hundred. The owner threw in some stuff he needed, like the case, but yeah…it wasn’t cheap. But…for Tweek, it’s worth every penny. He deserves something that will make him happy, you know? Something he can cherish and love and helps make all the stress and anxiety attacks happen less so he doesn’t have to be drugged out on pills. I know he hates taking so many of them.”

Tweek’s mom smiled slightly and sat on the bench, patting it. Craig closed the lid of the case and set it down, sitting next to the woman.

“You know Craig, you just described yourself there as well. You’ve been making him happy and both Richard and I have noticed Tweek has been sleeping more and is less stressed out than normal. We know you two have been sleeping in the same bed for a while. We may work a lot, but we still notice these things. Just like we’ve noticed that you’ve gone through some positive changes yourself. You’re a lot less angry and uncaring than I remember you being when you used to hang out with Tweek before middle school started.”

The noirette’s eyes widened and he looked up at the woman before lowering his head and looking at the ground. “He…told me you two didn’t remember much about his elementary days…or who used to hang out with him…before we… Mrs. Tweak, I’m so sorry. So fucking sorry. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t regret what we did, how we just…stopped being friends with him. He needed us and we weren’t there. And it kills me that he doesn’t blame us for that.”

“Craig…as much as I see you want to blame yourself on not being there…from what I remember of seeing him during his rehab, I’m glad you weren’t there in his life. He wasn’t Tweek. He wasn’t my son, even before everything happened and especially now. They had separated us, keeping him in a separate part of the building, but let us see him once a week and gave us progress reports. As I got better and began to coherently realize the damage we had done to him, it broke my heart to see this violent, angry child that they kept having to sedate because he would attack anyone that got close. When he finally started getting better, we vowed to do everything we could to attempt to apologize for what we had done to him.”

Mrs. Tweak wiped her eyes. “I remember more than Richard does, at least much of what was important back then. I remember his friends at least and those crazy antics you boys got into back then. So Tweek’s told you everything? Even about his…attempts…and scars?”

“You know about-”

The woman sighed and smiled at Craig. “I’m his mother. Of course I know everything that’s going on in my child’s life, especially since we all got clean. But, I know Tweek likes to keep to himself and I have to dig a bit to find the truth. I found him nearly unconscious in the bathroom after he took and threw up those pills and that’s when I found his scars. I watched him all day, making sure he got plenty of fluids to disperse whatever had digested. He was so out of it that he didn’t even register anything that had happened. The next day I called Ms. Walker and demanded that she find a combination of pills that would work. We kept what had transpired a secret since he didn’t need the added stress at the time.”

“I just can’t grasp the fact on how much he’s trusted me with everything. I mean…we hadn’t talked for years the night before everything happened. And now he’s the person in my life that I care about the most. I…love him.”

Craig was pulled into a side hug by the woman. “I know Craig. I know. And I’m glad Tweek has someone in his life that loves him and that accepts him for who he is. You’re a good kid.”

“Thanks Mrs. Tweak.”

The woman chuckled and smiled. “You can call me mom if you want. I’m pretty sure that even if you and Tweek just end up staying friends and don’t become more, Richard and I are in agreement that you’re one of our kids now. We pretty much decided that when Tweek brought you home that night needing our help.”

Mrs. Tweak stood up. “Alright sweetie, let’s go get Tweek’s birthday cake and find somewhere to hide his birthday present.”

“Um…mom? You don’t mind if Tweek and I might end up together? We…kind of kissed on Halloween…”

“When you do, you better let me and Richard be some of the first to know. That way he can justify getting Tweek a bigger bed for his room. Or…just get rid of the bed entirely and have Tweek move in your room and let Streak have his room. My granddaughter needs her own room.”

The two began laughing as they made their way out of the mall.

—————————————-

Tweek looked at the clock as he laid on Craig’s bed, waiting for the teen to come in from his shower. Ten more minutes. The blond grinned as he stared at the doorway, waiting for the noirette to walk in.

Two minutes before midnight, Craig walked in the door and raised his eyebrows at the twitching teen on his bed. “You’re twitchier than normal. I told you no coffee before bed, even IF it’s mainly milk and sugar.”

Tweek said nothing but kept glancing between the clock and Craig, who had decided to sit on the edge of the bed. Finally the clock hit midnight and the blond made a noise Craig wasn’t sure was human.

“I’m eighteen!”

Craig chuckled and ruffled Tweek’s still slightly damp hair. “That you are Dick the Birthday Boy.”

The blond growled before looking up at Craig and grinning. “So…is th-there something you want to t-tell me? Like a c-confession?”

“Wait…now?!”

“I did say m-my birthday, didn’t I?”

Craig began laughing as he laid back on the bed. “Someone’s impatient, aren’t they?”

The blond turned around until he was staring Craig in the eyes and poked his nose. “Do it.”

Craig rolled his eyes as he poked Tweek back. “Alright… So, Tweek. I’ve sort of had a crush on you for about a month now and was wondering if you maybe liked me back and we could be boyfr-”

The noirette was interrupted by Tweek’s lips on his own as the blond curled around him. Craig smiled in the kiss and wrapped his arms around Tweek as best he could since they were lying down.

“I take that as a yes.”

Tweek hummed his response as he cuddled up against the noirette.

“Well Tweek…you have one of two options as told to me by mom. One is you’re getting a bigger bed in your room when we sleep in there or two, you move in here and Streak gets your room because mom has decided her now official granddaughter needs her own room.”

“B-But I like my room.”

“Tell that to mom.”

“I love you Craig.”

“I love you too Tweek.”

————————————————–

The two teens holding hands as they walked into the kitchen in the morning was all the proof Mrs. Tweak needed as she stopped preparing breakfast and rushed to the two, kissing each of them on the forehead.

As Tweek went to set the dining room, Mrs. Tweak leaned close to Craig. “There is a bag next to IT in the closet that I had Richard get before he came home last night. It’s got two guitar books in it. Figured Tweek needed a few to practice with.”

“I’ll be sure to get them out.”

——————————————

Token and Clyde came over around three with Kenny and Butters texting and telling the two they’d come around five when Kenny’s City Wok shift was over.

Clyde grinned as he walked in and flopped on the couch, wiggling his eyebrows. “So…what did you two do all alone while you were waiting for us? Make out?”

Craig rolled his eyes and flipped the brunette off. “As a matter of fact, we did. Quit being such a stalker Donovan. I know your ship is real now, but that doesn’t excuse your behavior.”

Clyde looked at the two, his eyes widening. “Wait…what?! What!? You two!? You’re official!?”

Tweek blushed and looked down as he nodded. “Y-Yeah. Told Craig I wanted that t-to be my birthday present. For him to c-confess.”

The brunette stood up and hugged the two. “My ship is real! Creek is official!”

Craig groaned. “I fucking swear Clyde…some days I just want to punch you for being too annoying.”

Clyde began to mock tear up as he smiled. “But it’s not every day that my two gay sons get together! Isn’t that right Mommy Token?”

Token shot the brunette a glare as he began helping Tweek set out the snacks. “Don’t bring me into this.”

————————————

Tweek’s party officially started once Kenny and Butters came and the five teens surrounded Tweek on the couch as the blond began opening his presents.

Clyde had got Tweek a new coffee thermos that was the kind that couldn’t be tipped over, Kenny had got him the new book in the series that Tweek had got him addicted to reading, and Butters gave him a knitted hat and scarf, green and yellow in color.

“My present to you is on your computer, more specifically your Steam account. It’s a fifty dollar giftcard to your account. By the way…WHY do you have over two hundred games? You haven’t played them all, have you?”

“Steam sales are th-the work of an evil p-power.”

As Token and Tweek talked, Craig sneaked away to the Tweak’s bedroom where he had hid the guitar the day before as well as the two bags that went with it. Tweek was still distracted, so Craig hid the guitar next to the couch.

Craig smiled as he handed the bag with the books to the blond. “So…first of all, this is from mom and dad after they found out what I got you.”

Tweek hesitantly took the bag from the noirette and pulled out the two guitar books. Tweek’s eyes grew wide. “Craig?”

“And THIS is from me. Happy Birthday Tweek!”

Craig pulled the guitar case up and set it on Tweek’s lap. The blond’s hands shook as he unlatched the locks on the lid and opened it. Tears welled up in Tweek’s eyes as he saw the guitar he had played with weeks ago at the music shop in the mall.

“Craig…th-this is…”

Tweek pulled the guitar out as Craig grabbed the case and set it next to the couch and sat down next to the blond. The teen shook his head as he looked at Craig. “Craig…I c-can’t. I don’t d-deserve… It’s too mu-”

The noirette gently cradled Tweek’s head in his hands, softly wiping the tears from the blond’s eyes. “You can, you DO deserve this, and you are worth EVERY penny I spent on it. Richard Vincent Tweak, I love you with every fiber of my being and I will make damn sure that I will give you anything and everything that makes you happy.”

“You make me happy.”

Craig kissed Tweek softly on the lips. “Then it’s a good thing you got me then.”

————————————-

Tweek fiddled with the guitar later that night after the teens had watched a few movies, playing bits of songs he remembered and looking for songs in the two guitar books that he could easily figure out. He played them a lovely acoustic version of The Kids From Yesterday and played the song that Craig had heard him play the first time.

Craig stared at the blond, the lovesick look back on his face, as his boyfriend played. The noirette smiled at how peaceful Tweek looked and knew that whatever life decided to throw at them, that they’d face it together.

——————————-

The camera snapping as it took a picture woke both teens up and both Craig and Tweek looked up at the grinning Clyde and flipped the brunette off.

“Go the fuck to sleep Donovan before I shove that damn camera in your ass!”

“I HAVE to make an adorable scrapbook that I’m gonna show to my future kids on how their Uncle Craig and their Uncle Tweek got together!”

Craig shifted and looked on the floor to see the other three teens up. “Token, did Clyde do this to you and Nichole?”

Token rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “No…and if he DOESN’T stop this shit at ass o’clock in the morning, I’M gonna kill him after you shove his camera in his ass.”

“Guys…do you hear singing? I thought no one else was here.”

The teens all turned to look at Butters and grew silent as they heard the singing coming from across the hall in Craig’s room. Craig’s eyes grew wide.

“I told those fuckers if they ever came back, I’d fucking kill all of them!”

Craig jumped out of Tweek’s bed, brandishing a knife out from somewhere and stormed out of the room into his. “Come at me scrublords! I’m ripped!”

As the teens heard screeching and Craig’s growling, Clyde sat gingerly on the bed. “Uh…Tweek… Should we be worried?”

“It’s j-just the Underpants Gnomes. He threatened to k-kill them if they ever came back t-to steal our underwear. Let h-him have his fun. It’ll be fine.”

Craig came back a few minutes later, eye twitching and a small smear of blood on his face. Clyde grew wide-eyed and quickly moved to his sleeping bag as Craig sat on the bed, wiping the knife.

Tweek grabbed a tissue and licked it, before starting to wipe the blood off Craig’s cheek. “You g-got blood on you.”

“S’fine. It’s not mine.”

“You get them?”

The noirette grinned as he laid down and began to cuddle the blond. “If they try a third time…the lasers are coming out.”

Kenny sighed in relief. “At least I didn’t die like last time they appeared.”

Clyde sat up. “Dude! THAT was the power/curse thing Token and I kept trying to remember you said you had! Do you still have that?”

Token grumbled. “Yes he does Clyde. He died yesterday in our Calculus class when that faulty overhead light fell on him. That’s why Butters sat with us at lunch. He’s fine now. Go the fuck to sleep.”

“Oh yeah… Wait! Kenny…didn’t you tell us this like a long time ago? Why did I suddenly remember this happens? Craig, Tweek, Butters…do you guys know this too?”

Kenny groaned. “As much as I’m still wondering why you two suddenly just remembered and the answer is yes on the others knowing, we can talk about this tomorrow. Go to sleep Clyde.”

“But guys! This is something that we need to talk about! This is big! This is-”

Tweek suddenly appeared next to Clyde and shoved a roll of Smarties in the boy’s hand. “If you g-go to bed now, you c-can have the candy. I know how much you l-love Smarties.”

“Okay!”

Tweek climbed back in bed and watched at Clyde ate the candy.

“Hey Tweek? One of those tasted…funny…”

The blond smirked as the brunette hit his pillow hard. “Thank god f-for fast acting sleeping pills.”

Craig looked at his boyfriend in shock. “Did you just drug Clyde?!”

“Maybe…”

Chapter Text

“So we get home last night from closing up the shop and Tweek spots this large brown bag on the kitchen table. And we’re both like super curious about it just sitting there, so I go reach over to grab it and then mom walks in…”

Tweek put his head in his hands and whined as the blush on his face grew redder. Craig chuckled and pulled the blond closer to him as Tweek shook his head.

“So mom comes in and she’s like “Oh boys! It’s a good thing you’re finally home. Richard and I thought that since you two were officially together, that…certain urges might happen and we want you two to be prepared.” And then she grabs the bag and starts opening it…”

Tweek whined more as he started twitching and shaking his head faster as he tried burying himself in Craig’s chest.

“So she opens it and just DUMPS it on the table and like a hundred or so condoms in all sizes just rains down on the table as well as two bottles of lube.”

Tweek starts clawing at Craig’s chest, the noises he was making were probably pitched enough for dogs to hear and howl at them.

“And so I just look at them all sitting there on the table and just look up at mom and as deadpan as I can, I say “That’s not near enough lube for all those.” And then I start sorting them. I had no idea they made flavored ones!”

“My mom th-thinks we’re sluts!“

Clyde snorted as Token covered his mouth, trying hard not to laugh. Tweek curled up in his seat and groaned.

“So…we’re pretty much covered for a while, debating on when we actually do end up doing the deed, if we ever do. I’m fine with just cuddling and kissing for the moment.”

——————————————

“And just WHAT were you doing in the hallway before class?!”

Craig glared at Jessica Rogers, forcing the girl’s sneer off her face. “I walked to my class, like everyone else does?”

“That’s NOT what I meant. Why were you holding hands with that spazzy blond?”

The noirette’s eye twitched slightly as he stared at the girl. “I was holding hands with TWEEK because that’s what boyfriends do.”

The girl looked at Craig slightly in disgust. “Boyfriends? But you’re like the hottest guy in school! You CAN’T be gay!”

Before Craig had a chance to retort, Cartman turned around and glared at the strawberry blonde girl. “Well he obviously fucking is so get the fuck over it bitch. Now shut the fuck up so we can do our work. And DON’T call Tweek a spaz. Only I can call him that!”

Cartman turned back around and Jessica grumbled as she started working on her classwork. Craig stared at the back of Cartman in awe, for once actually glad the large teen’s words benefited him.

Jessica tried to talk to him after class, even going so far as to grab his hand, but he yanked it out of her grasp and flipped her off with the same hand before walking off, hoping to sneak a kiss from Tweek before their next class.

—————————

“Welcome to Tweak Bros. How can I…o-oh it’s you Cartman. The u-usual? And where’s Stan and Kyle?”

The large teen nodded and sat down. “The Jew and the Mega Bitch are helping Stan bring up his Chemistry grade. Since I didn’t want to get involved with their bitching and I would have just left if they ended up doing their weekly three-way anyway, decided to skip that and come here and bug you Spaz.”

Tweek rolled his eyes as he set the large vanilla mocha frappuccino and cinnamon muffin down and began to walk away. “You know, y-you catch more flies with h-honey than vinegar.”

“Eh, Kyle and Wendy don’t mind me calling them that. They’d think I’m sick if I call them by their actual names. So…you and Craig finally got your shit together?”

Tweek chuckled as he wiped the counter. “You c-could say that. I mean…it’ll probably be a while b-before we’re both comfortable with a-anything more than kissing and c-cuddling, but we’ll get there.”

“Be careful and watch your backs then.”

The blond narrowed his eyes as he glared at the brunette. “I-Is that a threat Cartman?”

Cartman glared back and shook his head. “No Spaz. It’s a warning. That new girl, Jessica, has her eye set on Craig.”

“So? I th-think Craig’s made it pretty o-obvious he has no interest in h-her.”

The brunette rubbed his eyes and stared Tweek in the eye. “No, Spaz…it’s… There’s a reason WHY this bitch had to move here. And it’s not good. Especially after the conversation I overheard today in Government confirming the rumors I heard.”

“T-Token mentioned something about that but d-didn’t elaborate.”

Cartman sighed, looking down. “She got suspended for organizing a hate group that beat up a gay kid at her school. She’s a vicious little bitch. Even Wendy’s group refuses to talk to her much. AND she’s the reason I told both Kenny and Butters and Stan and Kyle to lay low on the affection at school. She’s already got a few of the Seniors and Juniors that haven’t been here since Elementary in her little clique. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“I c-can take care of myself. S-So can Craig.”

The brunette smirked. “I know you can. I mean you’re always at the ready with that damn bazooka of yours. But I’m seriously. Watch your backs.”

“Wh-Why do you even care anyway Cartman? S-Seeing minorities get mocked and r-ridiculed is something you t-take pleasure in.”

“Not when they’re my friends and not when I’m not the one starting it. And especially NOT when it’s an issue involving THIS.”

Tweek looked at the large teen in confusion before his eyes widened. “Cartman…a-are you gay?”

“No! I like girls! I’m not… I’m… I don’t know. I…honestly don’t know. I…like both…but… I mean I pretty much fucked myself over when we were younger and it’s a fucking miracle people even still tolerate me at this point. But…I’d rather spend my time trying to repair my somewhat friendships with people than be with someone right now, girl OR guy. I don’t really deserve anyone to be honest. And I may tease Kyle for his religion and Kenny for still being somewhat poor, but there is ONE thing I’ll never maliciously tease them on and that’s who they love.”

The blond started chuckling, forcing Cartman to glare at him. “Eh! What are you laughing at?!”

Tweek shook his head and headed out from behind the counter and sat down at Cartman’s table. “O-Of all the things you’re known for, it’s a b-bit shocking that you’re not homophobic.”

Cartman glared at Tweek before softening his expression and chuckling himself. “That IS a bit funny. But I’m seriously. I may tease them a bit, but it’s never a vicious comment, especially if it somehow ends up being told to Butters’s parents. You won’t believe the amount of times I’ve covered up for those two and how many “sleepovers” Butters has had at my house. Graduation better hurry the fuck here.”

“Sp-Speaking of…Craig and I know Kenny’s o-other secret. And Token and Clyde k-kind of started remembering the n-night of my birthday. Kenny told u-us you knew but I d-didn’t know if he told you about us.”

Cartman’s eyes grew wide before he sighed in relief. “I didn’t know about Token and Clyde, but yeah, Kenny told me about you and Craig. And Butters. That’s a big relief to have others that can help. Really wish Kyle and Stan would get the sand out of their vaginas and remember as well. It’s getting annoying they can’t remember. Does this mean I can buy-”

“No. I’m st-still not letting you buy Death Wish. O-One Kenny death in the store was e-enough for me for a while.”

Cartman chuckled and looked at his phone. “Well, you’ve got ten minutes before your boyfriend comes in and gets down and dirty in the back with you, so I’d better go. Thanks for the coffee with extra spit.”

The blond blushed as he glared at Cartman. “We’re n-not! Fucking…GAH! And I’ve n-never spit in your coffee!”

“It was a joke Spaz! On both parts. I know you just wipe your dirty rag in our cups but seriously, that rag is probably the cleanest thing ever. And the fact you also do it to Kyle and Stan makes me forgive you when you do it to mine.”

Cartman began to walk out the door when Tweek grabbed his arm. “Cart- Eric…th-thank you. For the warning I mean. And…don’t c-cut yourself down like that. Y-You’ll find someone. You’re d-deserving of love just like th-the rest of us.”

“Thanks Tweek.”

——————————————–

There was a commotion in the hall the next day, preventing Tweek and Craig from getting to their lockers. As the two pushed through the sea of students, the blond bit back a gasp as he saw his and Craig’s defaced lockers.

The words “Faggot” and “Burn in Hell” spray-painted on in red paint clearly stood out against the green of the lockers. The lockers looked kicked in and whatever had been in their lockers was shredded and ripped apart on the floor.

Craig growled as he pulled Tweek closer to him. “Who the hell did this!?”

“Language Mr. Tucker and that’s what I’m going to find out.”

The hallway cleared as PC Principal stormed up and took a note of the scene. “Alright students! Everyone get to class. This is a serious matter that will require everyone’s cooperation. Be prepared for the teachers to search your backpacks while Mr. Mackey checks the security tapes and I search the other lockers for clues.”

He turned to Craig and Tweek. “You two go to my office. You’re not in trouble but it would be best if you two were there right now, especially Tweek.”

Craig was about to retort when he felt Tweek start to twitch more beside him. The noirette nodded and gently pulled the blond toward the principal’s office.

———————————–

“Tweek, you need one of your anxiety pills?”

Tweek took a deep breath and nodded as Craig grabbed Tweek’s shoulder bag and opened the secret pocket the blond kept an emergency stash of his medicine in. He grabbed one of the pills and held it out to Tweek, before getting up and making the blond a cup of coffee, making sure to add the correct amount of cream and sugar Tweek liked.

Once Tweek had taken the pill and drank two cups of coffee, Craig saw the blond was relaxing as the pill took effect.

“Why c-can’t we get this coffee in the student l-lounge? This is th-the good shit.”

“Because the school officials are cheap bastards who think we’re better off with shit coffee in there. You feeling better?”

Tweek nodded before looking down at the swirling browns his coffee was making. “Craig…that conversation th-that I told you I h-had with Cartman l-last night… You d-don’t think this is r-related to that, do y-you?”

Craig sighed. “I’m still not entirely convinced Fuck Nugget was being truthful to you. I mean…it’s Cartman! He’s done shit like that before. Tried to get everyone on his side on something, just to betray and screw them over. And him being everything BUT homophobic? Five bucks says he’s involved in this somehow.”

“B-But what if he isn’t? We’ve b-been wrong about him before i-in the past.”

The door slammed open, forcing both teens to flinch and Tweek to let out a shriek, nearly spilling his coffee.

PC Principal gave the teens a reassuring look before slamming a can of red spray-paint on his desk and reached over to the intercom. “Eric Cartman, can you come to the principal’s office?”

Tweek and Craig exchanged looks as Mr. Mackey walked in the office with Cartman following a minute later.

The large teen glanced over to the two before giving his attention to PC Principal and Mr. Mackey. “What seems to be the problem?”

PC Principal stood up and slammed his hands on the table. “Want to explain to Craig and Tweek here exactly WHY you defaced their lockers last night!?”

Cartman’s eyes grew wide. “WH-WHAT!? I’d…I’d never do that!”

Craig stood up, his fist clenched as he glared at the brunette. Tweek’s gentle touch on his shoulder kept the noirette from acting out.

Mr. Mackey cleared his throat. “Sometime during the night, the security tapes captured someone with your body type sneak in the school and deface the lockers. He then opened your locker and threw the can we just found in there. We have evidence you did it young man. You’re in serious trouble.”

“But…but it wasn’t me! I swear! It wasn’t me!”

PC Principal glared at Cartman underneath his shades. “You know better than this! This school does NOT tolerate homophobia from any of it’s students. I have no choice to suspend you and if the school board deems this matter a threat, I’ll have to expel you.”

Tears leaked out of the large teen’s eyes. “You can’t! I’m seriously! I didn’t do it! I’m not-”

“Eric didn’t do it. I believe him.”

The four people in the room turned to look at Tweek in confusion. The blond looked around the room, before turning to look at their counselor. “Mr. Mackey, does th-the video show a time-stamp of what t-time this took place?”

“Well, it’s approximate, but around seven to seven thirty last night.”

“Th-Then that proves it! E-Eric was in the coffee sh-shop from about seven to seven f-fifty last night. He c-couldn’t have done it!”

PC Principal slumped back in his chair and sighed. “You’ve never had a reason to lie Tweek so for the time being, I’ll believe you. But we DO need to find out who did this if it wasn’t Eric. Otherwise it’s video evidence over your word.”

“It was probably that bitch Jessica Rogers!”

The principal slammed his hand on the desk. “Language Mr. Cartman! Just because you’re off the hook for now doesn’t mean you can go around accusing others without evidence.”

The brunette grumbled. “But it’s got to be her! I know you two have to know why she got suspended from her school in North Park and Craig can tell you about her little outburst in Government yesterday when she found out he was gay. She’s involved somehow! And if we don’t stop her, she could go after another gay couple in school with even worse results!”

PC Principal sighed. “Alright Eric, since you’re so concerned, find me proof of her involvement with this and prove your innocence. Even if Tweek has vouched for you, it will only get you so far. The school board IS going to want a resolution to this. I’ll give you a week before I have to report this.”

————————————-

Tweek put his hand on Cartman’s shoulder as the three made their way to their respective classrooms. “W-We’ll help in any way we c-can Cartman.”

“Why’d you stick up for me Spaz?”

“B-Because I know you d-didn’t do it.”

The three passed by the damaged lockers and Cartman turned away. “Tweek, Craig…can you two make sure to tell Kenny and Butters to keep on the down low? I’ll tell Wendy to tell Stan and Kyle since she’s got both of them in her next class.”

Craig glared at the burning red words on his and Tweek’s lockers. “Cartman, make sure you tell her that tonight, we’re all meeting at the coffee shop at eight. That’s our slow night and we’re allowed to close an hour early. We’ll tell Butters, Kenny, Token, and Clyde. We can form a plan on how to approach this mess. If we’re going to clear your name and find out who did this, it’s gonna take all of us.”

Chapter Text

Eight pm hit and Tweek locked the door of the coffee shop as Craig turned the overhead lights off and the two made their way to the back of the shop where the rest of the teens that were involved in whatever plan they were going to create that night were hanging out, save for Kenny, who had just texted Butters, saying he’d be five minutes late since he was coming from City Wok, which was on the other side of town.

Five minutes hit and there was a knock on the back door and Kenny walked in after Craig opened the door for him. The blond sat down next to Butters and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

Craig looked around the back room and sighed. “So I know you’re wondering why we’re all here…”

The teens save for Tweek and Cartman nodded and Craig nodded at the two of them. “So as we all know, Tweek’s and my lockers were defaced at school and…they found red spray paint in Cartman’s locker.”

Kyle stood and stormed up to the large teen. “Goddamn it you homophobic fatass! This is a low blow even for you! I can’t believe you’d-”

Cartman slightly pushed the redhead back. “It wasn’t me Jew! I was framed! And I’m NOT homophobic!”

Tweek pushed the two teens back from each other. “It’s t-true Kyle! Mr. Mackey told us th-the security tapes put the crime a-around seven to seven thirty and I told him and PC Principal that Cartman was h-here at the shop at that t-time. It couldn’t have b-been him.”

“And I’m NOT homophobic Kyle! I may tease you guys, but it’s never mean-spirited!”

The redhead got back in Cartman’s face. “Oh really!? So all that shit about Stan and me “running off to make out and do “butt-stuff” isn’t being mean and degrading?!”

“That’s what you DO though! Kenny and Butters do too!”

Craig looked at the two teens arguing and rubbed his eyes. “Kyle…as much as I really don’t want to say this…but if that’s all what Cartman is saying, that’s really not that bad.”

“What!?”

The noirette rolled his eyes. “Clyde’s basically been saying the same stuff since before we even got together and you should see his unhealthy amount of pictures he has of us cuddling. He’s mine and Tweek’s number one shipper and calls us his gay sons. And need I tell you that Tweek’s mom and dad literally bought us more than a hundred condoms and dumped them out on the table when we got home one night from work.”

Kenny cleared his throat. “Just on the record here, but me and Leo are still technically virgins, so no “butt stuff” yet for us.”

“And seriously Kyle, if I was, I wouldn’t be so willing to cover for Butters when he’s out with Kenny. I want Butters away from his parents just as much as everyone else!”

Kyle grumbled and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine Cartman! Fine! I believe you! Then why are we here if you’re actually innocent?”

Craig sighed. “Cartman’s not off the hook yet. It’s Tweek’s word versus what they have on video, but PC Principal is giving Cartman a chance to prove his innocence and find the true culprit. We have a week to do that.”

“And I repeat Craig. WHY are we here!?”

Craig flipped the redhead off. “Well, as much as I’d rather not get involved and leave Cartman to do the work, the fact remains that both Tweek and I were also targeted in this. I want to know the fucker that defaced our lockers and I know Cartman, Tweek, and I can’t do it alone. And if this happened to US, as Cartman said in the office today, it could and probably WILL escalate. I couldn’t care less what the fuck people call me, but I’m not going to stand by and let MY boyfriend be targeted. And we all know what could happen if Butters’s parents find out what he’s been doing.”

The room grew silent as the teens tried to not think about how the situation could get worse.

Wendy cleared her throat and looked up at Craig. “Do you guys have anywhere we could start? Or anyone you suspect?”

Cartman grimaced. “That fucking bitch Jessica Rogers! I just know it’s her! She couldn’t stand the fact Craig told her he was gay and then I told her to shut the fuck up about it in Government yesterday! And this coincidentally happened the same night. The rumors about her being kicked out of her old school is true and she’s trying to do the same thing here. I just know it.”

Wendy sighed and shook her head. “I know she’s been difficult to talk to, but surely she learned her lesson when she got kicked out to not do it again, right?”

The large teen rolled his eyes. “Wendy…you’re a girl. You KNOW how girls act and bitches like that DON’T fucking change! Especially when it’s the same issue that she got kicked out for! I’m not getting suspended and possibly expelled for this bitch’s crime!”

“Alright Cartman. Alright. So did you guys actually get to look at the footage of what happened?”

Craig looked at the black haired girl and shook his head. “All three of us were still a bit shook up, but I think that might be a good idea to ask if we can see it. Maybe that would give us some clues. All Mr. Mackey told us was that someone of Cartman’s body type did it.”

Token looked over to Kyle. “And if they won’t, it’ll be pretty easy for me and Kyle to hack into the school computers to pull up the footage. Shoot, that might just be a good idea to do anyway. Maybe they missed some details.”

Clyde looked around the room before looking at Craig. “So what about the rest of us? What should we do?”

Craig grumbled as he looked around. “As Cartman told Tweek last night, we watch our backs. All of us. And whatever we do, we DON’T talk about what we discuss here at school if we can help it, just text if we have to. We’ve all got each other on Skype and we can meet each other at our homes and such to talk. And since I agree with Cartman and think Jessica IS involved somehow, make sure you watch her too, in case she slips up or reveals something.”

“A-And especially don’t say anything about th-the office visit. Cartman, you n-need a cover story on why you w-were called in today.”

Cartman smirked. “Already got it covered. I forgot part of my lunch at home and my mom brought it to me. And since you two were in there, you were witnesses. Now that I think about it, Craig, did you notice Jessica glaring at me today in Government?”

Craig stood still for a moment as he remembered earlier in the day. “Almost as if…she didn’t expect you to be there. And she keeps trying to get close to me, like REALLY close. Today is the second time she’s tried to grab my hand. It’s pissing me off.”

Tweek came up behind Craig and wrapped his arms around the noirette’s shoulders. “Th-Then I think we should w-watch our backs even more th-than the others since we seem to b-be the main targets.”

Craig grumbled as he held on to Tweek’s arms. “Why did this shit HAVE to fucking happen just as we get together?”

“I-It’ll be okay Craig. We’ll g-get through this just l-like we’ve got through everything else.”

——————————-

The large group waved goodbye to Clyde and Wendy and began walking on the street to their respective houses, when Stan noticed Craig wasn’t going with them. “Uh Craig, dude, your house is next to Clyde’s. We can walk Tweek home tonight if you want.”

Craig sighed and looked down. “Well…long story short, I live with Tweek actually, for reasons. I don’t want very many people to know, so keep this to yourselves, alright?”

Cartman, Kyle, and Stan nodded as they came up to Butters’s house and watched the blond walk up to his house. Craig and Tweek said goodbye to the group as they got to Cartman’s house and the two teens crossed the street to get to their house.

“I’m p-proud of you Craig.”

Craig looked over to the blond, confusion on his face. Tweek took his hand and leaned against the noirette. “Stepping up t-to be the leader of our pl-plans and telling them a-about where you live instead of m-making an excuse up. Y-You could have easily just said we w-were gonna make out.”

“They’re…somewhat friends, I guess. Not as great as Token and Clyde and you, but we’ve been through too much shit with them. Besides, if we didn’t get involved in this, you know Cartman would have somehow got us involved whether we wanted to or not. I’d rather get in at the beginning than at the ending and have a better grip of the situation. Maybe that way, only a couple of buildings get destroyed as opposed to a whole city block when Jessica ends up being a demon or something.”

Tweek unlocked the door and the two stepped inside the house. “A demon? Really Craig?”

“Or something! It’s happened before! Several times in fact! It’s South Park. NOTHING is normal in our town, not even our stupid, shitty teenage problems.”

Tweek sighed and nodded. “Th-That’s so very true. Speaking of Jessica…y-you didn’t tell me she k-keeps trying to touch you.”

The noirette looked down. “It’s just been the past two days and I really didn’t think anything of it. I mean I’ve got a few friends that are girls. Heidi and me are still on good terms and I’ve held her hand or let her lean on me when she’s had a bad day and Red’s my cousin…ish and both hug me and I don’t mind, but Jessica…she’s been on my shit-list since she invited everyone but you to her party. I just…didn’t want you involved in whatever she’s trying to do, but it’s obvious she is. I’m sorry for not telling you Tweek.”

“It’s f-fine Craig. Thanks for t-telling me. Craig…would Ruby know a-about Jessica, since she’s from North Park o-originally?”

Craig looked at the clock. “It’s too late to talk to her now since she’s got a strict nine pm bedtime, but I can talk to her tomorrow after school before we have to get ready to go to the football game. That’s a really good idea Tweek! Send what I’m doing to the group Skype. Tomorrow is when we really start figuring this shit out.”

—————————

“Craig?”

The noirette slowly opened his eyes to see Tweek staring at him with a hurt look on his face. “Tweek, what’s wrong? Nightmare?”

He felt the blond shake his head and curl up more. Craig began to comb his fingers through Tweek’s soft hair. “Tweek…”

“D-Do you regret it? B-Being with me? I m-mean…we could h-have just stayed friends… I didn’t want s-something like this t-to happen to you. I mean…we j-just started going out l-less than a week ago… We c-could just-”

Craig pulled the twitching teen closer. “I love you Tweek. More than anything. I’ll never regret falling in love with you. As for this issue…I wish we would have had more time before we had to deal with homophobic assholes, but as long as we stick together, we’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. And I know you just had your therapy appointment this past Tuesday, but I’d like you to go next week. I’ll go with you to make sure nothing happens to you. I think Ms. Walker needs to know what’s happened. She may be able to give us some advice.”

“I’m a h-horrible boyfriend…”

Craig frowned and looked down into Tweek’s eyes. “No you’re not. What brought this on?”

Tweek whined and tried to pull away, but Craig held the teen tightly in his arms. “Please Tweek. Tell me what’s wrong.”

The blond sighed before shifting his head up and softly kissing Craig on the lips. “Kyle, Stan, and Wendy h-have this amazing poly relationship g-going and Kenny and Butters d-do way more than w-we do, even though they’re st-still virgins. I just… I don’t w-want you to hate me b-because I’m not ready for…that.”

The noirette sighed and snuggled closer, blowing on Tweek’s neck, which made the blond giggle. “Tweek, I am just fine with kisses and cuddling for right now and I wholeheartedly mean that. We just started our relationship less than a week ago, just like you said. The others have been sorting out theirs for years now. We’ll get there one day if you want. I’ll be ready when you are. Just give it time, okay?

Craig felt the blond shakily nod and he began to plant soft kisses on Tweek’s forehead.

“Wh-what about Jessica? What d-do we do about h-her? It’s a bit h-hard to avoid her when she’s g-got a few of the same cl-classes.”

The noirette placed a kiss on Tweek’s nose. “Keep close to the others if you’ve got them in your class or you see them in the hallway if I’m not around. I know she’s not scared of Cartman, though…that bitch REALLY should be, but she’ll be less likely to do anything if you’re hanging around Clyde or Stan and especially Wendy. I know she’s been trying to get in good with the football players and Wendy’s girl group.”

“B-Be careful yourself Craig. I d-don’t want anything t-to happen to you. Please?”

“I will Tweek. I promise.”

—————————————————

Sent 7:30am

CRAIG: Hey guys, Cartman and I are going to see if PC Principal will give us the video today during Spanish since it’s a free period today. Make sure to all stick together in class and the hallways, especially if SHE’S around.

Sent 9:20am

WENDY: Craig, you guys want to sit with the boys at lunch today? Told my group to watch out for HER and Bebe just told me she overheard HER talking about sitting at your regular table, like an ambush.

Sent 9:21am

CRAIG: Yeah, sure. Tweek, Kenny, Butters, and I will come in a group. Thanks Wendy for the heads up. Cartman and I are in the office waiting for Mackey to give us a copy of the video.

Sent 9:22am

TOKEN: Kyle, Wendy, and I have Physics and we can wait for Clyde to come out of Computer class before we get there.

Sent 9:23am

CARTMAN: Yes! We got the video! And the name of the brand of spray paint! And me and Stan will come to lunch today as soon as we can. Damn Calculus test.

———————————

Sure enough, once Craig spotted his group’s normal table, Jessica was sitting in Tweek’s normal seat. Luckily she was sitting to where she wouldn’t see them walking in. He resisted the urge to flip the girl off and Kenny led them to the normal table him and Butters sat with the others at.

Stan and Cartman were next to arrive, with Wendy and Clyde coming in a minute later.

Wendy leaned down. “Kyle and Token had to go to the restroom. They’ll be here in a minute. Love you Stan.”

The girl kissed Stan and walked over to her group’s table just as Jessica stormed up.

She glared at Tweek for a moment before turning her attention to Craig. “And just WHY are you sitting here today!? I was waiting for you at your table Craig!”

Craig rolled his eyes and flipped the girl off, causing the strawberry blonde to whine. “Just what the fuck do you want from me?!”

“Ugh! I just want to get to know you better Craig! Like, you weren’t at my party this weekend and I was so looking forward to you going but you HAD to hang out with your…friend…instead.”

The noirette glared at the girl. “That’s boyfriend like I’ve already said. And Clyde and Token weren’t at the party. Kenny and Butters weren’t either. I don’t see you bothering them like you are with me.”

“Stan, Cartman, and I weren’t there either and seriously, Craig Tucker is the most boring asshole I’ve ever met. He still won’t get over the fact we never paid him back for the time we borrowed his birthday money from him.”

Kyle and Token walked up and the redhead slightly shoved Jessica out of the way so he could sit next to Stan, forcing the girl to pout.

“Um, I was gonna sit there!”

Kyle glared up at the girl. “In case you haven’t noticed, this is MY normal seat, next to MY best friend and boyfriend. Even if the fatass didn’t take up two seats, there still isn’t room for you. Besides, you’re a girl. Pretty sure you don’t want to hear us talk about our dicks like we normally do, especially since MINE goes in this boy’s perky butt.”

Kyle patted Stan on the shoulder and the rest of the table collectively looked at the redhead incredulously as Jessica sneered in disgust before looking at Cartman. “And why are you even here?”

Cartman cocked his head and smiled sweetly. “And whatever do you mean by that bitch? Are you referring to the fact the Jew just called me fat and I’m not retaliating or getting mad and storming off? We do that all the time. Rag on each other. We’ve known each other for so many years that it’s just friendly banter on our parts.”

Jessica growled. “No! I mean about you being suspended! You were called in the office yesterday!”

The large teen raised his eyebrows. “Unless forgetting your lunch and your mom has to bring it to you is cause for that, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Craig and Tweek were in there. They know. And speaking of, can you leave us the fuck alone so we can eat? This is LUNCH after all!”

The girl huffed and stormed off. Kyle smirked as he adjusted his shirt. “Well, we now know that without a doubt, she’s the culprit. No one but us knew about what happened yesterday.”

Craig frowned at the redhead. “Kyle, why did you do that? Now you and Stan will be targeted since we know it’s her.”

Kyle sighed and looked at Craig. “It was better Stan and I be targeted with you and Tweek than Kenny and Butters. We can handle ourselves since our parents are okay with our relationship. Wendy’s parents are still trying to come around, but that’s mainly because they think she can’t handle two boyfriends and a promising career at the same time. You’re not going at this alone Craig.”

“Thanks Kyle. Anyway, Mackey gave us a flash drive of the video. I figure your computer is the best out of all of ours. And the name of the spray paint is MTN. I’ve never even HEARD of that brand before.”

The redhead nodded. “We won’t be able to do anything tonight since the football game is tonight but I’m free tomorrow to look at it. How about the rest of you?”

“C-Craig and I work tomorrow night, b-but we’re free in the morning and part of the a-afternoon.”

Craig nodded. “And by that time, Ruby might answer me about if she interacted with HER. I know she said a gay kid got beat up a while ago. Maybe that kid was the one SHE got to.”

Kyle looked at the group. “Alright, I say we all meet up at my house tomorrow at ten then and see what we can figure out.”

Chapter Text

As Tweek busied himself in the kitchen making him and Craig hot chocolate, Craig booted up his laptop and checked to see if Ruby was on Skype. Her icon was green, so he sent her a message asking if she was free to talk.

Tweek walked in just as Ruby answered back and the blond carefully climbed on the bed and sat beside the noirette as he handed Craig his beverage and took the earphone bud handed to him.

Ruby flipped off the two, causing Craig to roll his eyes and flip off his sibling in retaliation. “Love you too sis.”

Ruby smirked and chuckled. “You must really love me a lot then since you’ve dragged Tweek into the call. It must be a special occasion. You gonna tell me you finally did the deed?”

Tweek’s face turned red and the blond whined and tried burying himself in his shirt. “NO! We’re n-not- Ruby! Gah!”

Craig shook his head and ruffled Tweek’s hair. “Ruby, can you not fluster my boyfriend? We’re here on a mission.”

“A mission huh… And I get to be privy on it? How exciting. See me leaping for joy dear brother.”

The noirette rolled his eyes. “You’ve still got several years before you can master the deadpan snark I have perfected Ruby. Anyway, the matter at hand. Did you ever interact with a girl named Jessica Rogers at your school?”

Craig thought that Skype had frozen when the video on his sister’s side was still, but quickly realized it wasn’t the case when he saw Ruby breathing slightly. “Ruby?”

Ruby looked down, slightly shaking as she took deep breaths before looking up again. “How do you know that name?”

“She goes to our school now. She’s originally from-”

“I KNOW she used to be from here Craig! What the hell has she done!? She HAS done something, hasn’t she!? Are you two okay? You’re okay, right?”

The two teens slightly jumped at the girl’s sudden outburst. Craig sighed as he put his hand on Tweek’s shoulder to calm the blond down a bit. “We’re okay Ruby. Our…lockers were just vandalized with homophobic slurs but we’re okay. We’ve all but confirmed that she’s involved somehow since she’s also trying to frame Cartman for the crime. We’ve got a week to prove it was her and prove Cartman’s innocence.”

“That’s a sentence I thought I’d never hear, that Cartman is innocent. Craig, Tweek, you’re lucky it’s only been that. Jessica…basically ruled this school and if you opposed her, well…it wasn’t pretty. The guy she had her squad beat up, she had a crush on him, and when he told her he was gay, she didn’t handle it well. The only reason anything was done about it was that Adam’s grandparents basically give this school a giant sum of donation money each year and they told the school board it would stop if something wasn’t done about her.”

Craig grumbled. “So they just suspend her and she moves here, where she’s trying the same shit with me.”

The redhead’s eyes widened. “What?! Craig…don’t tell me…”

“Jessica’s b-been trying to h-hit on Craig for a few d-days now. And won’t acknowledge h-he’s gay or in a relationship with me. And she REALLY d-doesn’t like me.”

Ruby furrowed her eyebrows. “Tweek, you make sure you’re NEVER alone with her. You hear me? Craig, make sure you stay by Tweek at all times or have people you can trust until you can get this worked out.”

The noirette nodded. “We know Ruby. We know. We’ve got a plan worked out with the others that are involved and will make sure none of us are alone with her or any of her crew she’s managed to get here. We’re staying as safe as we can. Anyway, we want to know if Jessica had any of her friends at your school that were about the same size as Cartman. A person about the size of him was seen on the school’s security cameras defacing our lockers.”

“Not that I… Wait! There was a large guy that picked Jessica up a few times in his car before she got suspended. My friend Jenny told me his name was Larry Henderson and he had a major crush on her. He was a Senior last year, so he’s already graduated, but the entirety of last year, he would follow her around and do anything for her in hope she would go out on a date with him.”

Craig smirked and looked over to Tweek. “So…we’ve got our possible Cartman stand-in then. Now to just look over that tape tomorrow. Ruby, does your friend have any pictures of this Larry guy we can compare?”

“I can ask her tonight when I see her at our football game. I know Jenny gets the yearbook every year. I can see if she’ll let me copy some of the pictures in it.”

“We need them as soon as possible if you can. The sooner we have them, the better.”

Ruby gave the two boys a thumbs up. “I’ll try my best. See you guys later. Oh! By the way, Craig, we’ll be down for Thanksgiving. I know you don’t live with dad anymore, but I think mom’s gonna still want you to come.”

“Oh joy.”

“Love the enthusiasm there Craig. Anyway, I’ll see you guys. Remember to update me if you two end up banging anytime soon.”

“GAH!”

“GoodBYE Ruby.”

Craig clicked the End Call button and pulled off his earbud and grabbed the one Tweek handed him. He exhaled slowly before looking at the blond. “Well, at least we have something good to tell the others tomorrow. And don’t mind Ruby. She’s a brat.”

Tweek smiled softly. “She’s f-fine Craig. It’s o-obvious she cares about y-you.”

Craig pulled the blond close to him. “She cares about you too Tweek. But she just HAD to remind me about Thanksgiving, didn’t she? The Tucker Family Thanksgivings are stuff of legend. I’m already forbidding you from going. You’re NOT dealing with the shit that happens at those. I already know Thomas and Uncle Skeeter will get drunk and fight and if Brian comes, that’s gonna be even MORE awkward. I might just kidnap Ruby and bring her here. What do you guys do?”

Tweek sighed. “I’m r-really hoping nothing too stressful. Dad and h-his brother Robert aren’t exactly too friendly w-with each other since…the meth thing. It’s our t-turn this year to host our family Th-Thanksgiving. I really d-don’t want nothing b-bad to happen. I usually have t-to take two anxiety pills to m-make it through the day.”

“Well, if it does, we’ll figure something out. Even if we just lock ourselves in the room, as long as it keeps you from being stressed out so bad, I’ll do anything to keep you from going to the extreme of taking two pills.”

———————————–

Craig was surprised on being awake before Tweek the next morning, especially since they had got home from the football game pretty late. He smiled as he stared at the blond’s sleeping form, glad that Tweek wasn’t twitching in his sleep as bad as he normally did. The noirette softly brushed the hair out of the blond’s eyes and placed a kiss on his forehead.

“Mmmmm, time s’it?”

Craig chuckled and looked over Tweek’s body to the clock. “Eight thirty. We have another hour before we need to get ready to go to Kyle’s.”

“Coffee. Now.”

Tweek made an attempt to sit up, but Craig gently put his hand on the blond’s shoulder. “You stay in bed and try to get some more sleep. I’ll make you some coffee.”

“I can-”

“It’s Saturday, so you want your poop emoji mug with hazelnut coffee, two scoops of vanilla creamer, and two sugars. I know Tweek. Get some more sleep.”

The noirette laughed as he slid off the bed and heard the blond grumble about how he was going to kill the sun for being too bright on a Saturday.

Craig came back with their drinks just as Tweek was fiddling with the last button on his shirt. He handed the blond his coffee and took a sip of his hot chocolate as he watched Tweek sniff his coffee slowly before taking a sip.

“You u-used a bit too m-much creamer.”

“Some days, you are WAY too anal about your coffee.”

Tweek smiled and shook his head. “It’s f-fine Craig. It reminds me that n-not everything has to be p-perfect to be good. Mom already t-take Streak or did we accidentally l-leave her in my room?”

“Let’s be honest Tweek, it hasn’t been your room for a while. And yeah, I already checked and she wasn’t in there and her travel cage isn’t in either room.”

Craig’s phone went off and Tweek reached over to grab it and hand it to the noirette. The teen smiled. “It’s from Ruby. She spent the night at her friend’s house and they spent a few hours going through yearbooks and scanning pictures and emailed them to me. I can check my mail at Kyle’s so they can be on his computer.”

———————————————-

It was unsurprising to see that both Wendy and Stan were already at Kyle’s and Craig had a sneaking suspicion that the two had spent the night at the redhead’s house, judging from the fact Wendy was wearing a Nuggets shirt and a pair of Broncos boxer shorts.

As Wendy went to get changed, Kyle turned on his computer and the teens sat around to wait for everyone else to get there. The others arrived within minutes of each other and Kyle began the process of transferring the video to his computer.

The video finished and Kyle put the video on a loop. The video showed a large guy start to kick Craig’s and Tweek’s lockers, grabbing the things that spilled out and ripping them apart. The figure then wrote the words on the lockers and walked over to Cartman’s, taking several minutes to open the large teen’s locker to throw the spray paint can in.

Cartman grumbled as he saw the guy in the video. “Ugh! He’s easily bigger than me! How can you even compare me to this guy!? And it wouldn’t have taken me THAT long to open my locker.”

Kyle nodded. “Cartman’s right. He does look way bigger. I mean, no offence Cartman, but even though you’re fat, it’s proportionate to your body. You carry it well. This guy though, yeah… I really don’t see how they thought it was you. And yeah…that was way too long, almost as if he didn’t know the combination or was lock picking it.”

Token placed a sheet of paper on Kyle’s desk. “So last night after we got home, I researched the brand of spray paint. Apparently MTN is a pretty elite brand of paint that’s only sold in certain stores, one of them being in North Park. Also, you have to be eighteen to purchase it, so unless our culprit already had it at their house, they would of had to be of age to buy it.”

Cartman crossed his arms. “I won’t be eighteen until next July and how the hell would I even GET to North Park?”

Craig looked at the list and smirked. “PC Principal let me and Cartman hold the can and it was still mostly full and it looked brand new. Also, Tweek and I talked to Ruby last night. Apparently Jessica had an upperclassman with Cartman’s body type named Larry that followed her around like a dog and did everything she asked of him last year. She sent me pictures of the guy from her friend’s yearbooks, so Kyle, if I could check my email here, we can pull them up.”

Kyle wheeled back and let Craig log into his email. Clicking on the email Ruby sent him, Craig sent all the scanned pictures to a new folder in Kyle’s Pictures and clicked on the first one and enlarged it so everyone could see easily.

Kyle paused the video on a clear shot of the culprit and put the video and picture side by side. “Well, it’s no contest. This is our guy. Now we have to prove it’s him.”

“His j-jacket. He’s w-wearing the same j-jacket in the video and th-this picture.”

Tweek walked up and clicked on one of the other pictures. “Kyle, is th-there a way you can enhance th-the quality of the v-video? That’s definitely the s-same North Park M-Mountain Goat jacket he’s wearing in both.”

The redhead nodded and took a few minutes to lighten the video and make the person clearer in the video. “It’s still a bit fuzzy, but yeah, there’s no doubt that’s the same jacket. Now we just have to find this guy and see if he’ll come clean. And maybe go to that store that sells that paint and see if they’ll tell us who bought some recently.”

Craig frowned. “That would require a trip to North Park though and that’s like an hour away. It’s already eleven and by the time we all got our shit together, it would be noon before we left. An hour up there would get us there at one and it would only give us an hour before we had to leave to get me and Tweek back here to work.”

Butters shifted on the bed. “And technically I’m at Eric’s helping him clean his house for letting me “sleep over” last night. And Kenny’s got work in about an hour.”

Kyle tapped a pen on his desk. “Then how about we get up early tomorrow and go? Say nine or something?”

Wendy ruffled Kyle’s curly hair. “You’re forgetting sweetie that most of us have Church tomorrow morning. It’s Sunday.”

Craig played with the tassels of his chullo. “We don’t all have to go, do we? I mean we might have better luck splitting up in a group. Jessica goes to the same church you guys go to. I say the ones that don’t go to church go to North Park and the rest stay here and see if she says or does anything.”

Kyle nodded. “That’s a good idea. So definitely me going. We can take my car since I just filled it yesterday.”

“Craig and I d-don’t go to church since we l-like to sleep in before work.”

Cartman grumbled as he glared at the pictures on Kyle’s computer. “Fuck church if I get to confront the asshole that thinks he can pass as me!”

Stan sighed and raised his hand. “Count me in the group too. STILL banned from going to church.”

Craig furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at the other black haired boy. “Stan…how the HELL are you banned from church?!”

Stan shook his head. “Got three strikes against me. One; I technically was never relieved of my duties of being the new head of Scientology. Two; apparently it’s a religious crime to steal money from Mel Gibson. And three; I was possessed by Satan and I’m still apparently “unclean” to the church. So I’m banned.”

Craig just looked at the teen in shock. “Dude! That’s fucked up!”

Stan just shrugged. “Eh, doesn’t really bother me now. Means I just get Kyle for a few more hours each Sunday morning.”

Kyle smirked and winked at Stan. “So it’s me, Stan, Cartman, Craig, and Tweek tomorrow. The rest of you see if you can get some dirt on Jessica.”

Chapter Text

“Oh my god Kyel! Why does your gay ass Prius have to be so fucking small!?”

The redhead driving rolled his eyes. “Okay Cartman…what did I do now to piss you off? You hardly ever mispronounce my name unless you’re ticked off at me.”

The brunette grumbled. “You made me sit in the back of your gay ass Prius! You should have let me ride shotgun! I’m cramped in the back!”

“No I shouldn’t have because you suck at giving me directions fatass! And quit calling my car a “gay ass.” If anything, it’s a bisexual ass!”

Stan grumbled as he checked his GPS. “Kyle, next exit we turn. Can you guys just shut up for five minutes?”

Craig stared at the other passengers in the car and looked down to make sure the noise cancelling headphones were still on Tweek’s ears and the blond was still asleep. “I’m with Marsh here. You REALLY don’t want to see my mood if you two assholes wake Tweek up. He had a pretty bad night and I’m wholeheartedly blaming that Jessica bitch for his nightmares last night.”

Stan looked back at the blond, worry on his face. “Craig, dude, we would have understood if he wanted to stay home and get some more sleep.”

Craig stared out the window for a second before staring back at Stan. “Even if he had stayed home, he still wouldn’t have slept. I already asked him that this morning. Safety in numbers or something. He’s worried about being alone at the moment. That’s why the sooner we get this mess worked out, the better I’ll feel.”

The car grew silent for a few minutes, save for Tweek’s gentle mutterings as he slept.

Finally, Cartman cleared his throat as he chuckled and looked over to the other two backseat passengers. “So Craig, since you live with the Spaz, you see those elusive Underpants Gnomes yet?”

Craig glared at the large teen and smirked. “As a matter of fact, twice. The first time I threatened them to leave us alone or I’d fucking kill all of them. The second time, the knife came out. Got two of ‘em. Told the surviving one the lasers would come out if they tried it again.”

The car grew silent again as Kyle turned on the exit they needed and began driving the last stretch of highway before they got to North Park.

“So why are you living with Tweek anyway? Your dad kick you out or something?”

Craig resisted the urge to flip off Cartman since it would require him to move his hand from Tweek’s hair. “Wow Fuck Nugget. Hit the nail on the head there.”

Kyle tried turning to look at the teen behind him. “Craig? Dude?”

The noirette grumbled as he kicked the driver’s side seat. “Kyle, turn the fuck around and watch the road. It’s fine.”

Stan turned in his seat, worry again etched in his face. “No, Kyle’s right! Dude! Is that really the reason!?”

Craig REALLY wished Tweek was awake at this moment as he had three-fourths of the group of boys he really hated in elementary staring or trying to stare at him upon the accidental reveal of his fucked up life. Tweek had the right idea. It was WAY too fucking early in the morning and he’d give anything to still be asleep right now.

The noirette sighed. “Yeah, basically. Except Thomas isn’t really my father and I don’t know who it could be. It could be anyone from Al Gore to Manbearpig. But we have Token, Clyde, Butters, and Kenny sworn to secrecy about it. DON’T tell anyone, I mean it. It’s bad enough I accidentally fucking told you. Can you just drop it now? It’s happened, I was bad off for a while, but I’m in a better place now. It’s over and done.”

Kyle tapped on the steering wheel. “Craig, if you were having a problem, you know we would have-”

“OKAY Momma Kyle! I swear you’re as bad as Token sometimes. I already got the third degree from both him and Clyde. God I hate you guys.”

The redhead sighed. “I know you do Craig. After all, you’ve never forgiven us for stealing that hundred dollars from you. But, still dude, we care. Seriously, if there’s anything we can ever do, we’ll help.”

Craig sighed as he stared at the sleeping Tweek in his arms. “I know that all too well Kyle.”

——————————–

“They c-call this fucking coffee?! I could brew th-this with toilet water and it w-would taste better!”

Cartman smirked at the blond beside him as he sipped at his own coffee. “Or your famous spit coffee you give us Spaz. But you’re right. This IS shit. I’d rather have the nasty school lounge coffee.”

“I don’t f-fucking spit in your c-coffee! And you’re so fucking r-right! The school coffee is v-vastly superior to this swill!”

Craig facepalmed as he heard the two teens walking behind him as the group walked out of the coffee shop in North Park and made their way down the street to the hardware store that sold the brand of spray paint that had been shoved in Cartman’s locker.

“Dealing with two people that get anal about their coffee was not my idea of a fun Sunday morning.”

As the teens made their way into the store and split up; Kyle and Stan going off to find an employee, Cartman just wandering around the store, and Craig and Tweek walking to the paint counter, the noirette lightly squeezed the blond’s shoulder.

“Sleep well in the car? Sorry if they got loud.”

Tweek smiled and shook his head. “Didn’t hear a w-word. Those h-headphones are amazing. What you guys t-talk about anyway?”

Craig looked down and sighed. “More or less told them the situation with me. I left a LOT out, but they’re a bit in the know about everything. They’ve agreed to keep quiet, so that’s good. It was actually a bit easier to tell them than it did Token and Clyde though.”

“M-Maybe you’re getting used t-to trusting more people. And they’re n-not exactly Token and Clyde. You’ve never really c-cared about what anyone except us s-say about you.”

Craig put his arm around the blond. “I could say the same about that first part on you Tweek. Did you think in a million years that you would have a deep conversation about shit coffee with Eric Cartman of all people on a Sunday in a strange town? I don’t know about you, but my ten year old self is screaming on why the fuck eighteen year old me willingly agreed to go somewhere with Stan’s gang.”

“Ms. Walker and I t-talked about that actually. That she was p-proud and impressed that my SPD s-symptoms weren’t as bad as they’ve u-usually been in the p-past, given my circumstances and especially c-compared to other sufferers. One of her colleagues suggested it m-might not be SPD and it’s just s-something else since I’m so young, but we were b-both in agreement that it probably w-would be a bad idea to try and t-test that. I’m happy and comfortable with m-myself now, despite all the therapy and p-pills to make me function.”

Tweek noticed the small cage of spray paint behind the counter, including the brand that had been used to deface their lockers. “Craig, th-there’s the brand. I w-wonder if they would t-tell us who usually buys i-it.”

Craig lightly tapped the bell on the counter.

“Coming! Hold on one second!”

As soon as the employee came into view, Craig smirked. It seemed Karma decided to take a vacation and let her sister Lady Luck take over for a while. What were the damn odds that the guy they were trying to find worked at the hardware store and especially in the paint section?

The pictures and video didn’t do this guy justice. Kyle had been right in his assessment of Larry, as they already knew even without looking at the guy’s name badge. And Larry seriously fucking needed a breath mint. Craig had thought Tweek’s morning breath was bad, but it was vanilla compared to this guy’s.

“Can I help you two?”

God, even the guy’s overly nasally voice irritated Craig. Clyde’s and even his own nasally voice were charming in their own way, but Larry’s just grated on every one of his nerves. Resisting the urge to just punch the guy, Craig pulled out the pieces of paper he had Kyle print off for him.

“Yeah…Larry. We’re from South Park and we’re interested in the MTN brand of spray paint in your cage back there, especially the red color. And…also why YOU felt the need to come over to our town with said spray paint and vandalize my boyfriend’s and my lockers? And then try to place the blame on one of our friends?”

The guy’s eyes grew wide and he took a step back. “Wh-What are you talking about? I don’t have a reason to do-!”

Craig smiled and unfolded the two pieces of paper. “Oh…So this ISN’T you in these two pictures? I know you can recognize yourself in the yearbook photo and it matches exactly to the guy that defaced our lockers as you can see in our school’s security video. Same jacket and everything! Imagine that Larry!”

Larry growled. “Look you little punk! If you think you can threaten-”

“Wh-What did Jessica offer you? What did sh-she offer you that was so important that y-you would risk possible jail t-time if you were caught? Because you have b-been. Breaking and e-entering, destruction of p-property, among other things. Is she r-really worth it?”

The guy paled as worry etched on his face. “You…know Jessica?”

Craig narrowed his eyes as he glared at Larry. “You could say that. We KNOW she’s responsible for what’s happened to us and she has this fucking fixation on me despite me repeatedly telling her I’m gay and in a relationship. I know what she did to get her suspended here and I’m telling you straight up that the shit she pulled here DOESN’T fucking fly at our school and town. We’re giving you a chance to confess and turn yourself in because let me tell you, Larry, that it’ll be even worse for you if don’t.”

“…She said she was finally gonna go on a date with me if I did this…”

For a brief moment, there was an inkling of sympathy in Craig’s thoughts as he saw the large guy sulk. But the nightmare Tweek had violently woken up from last night squashed the thought. “Dude, trust me. NO girl or guy is worth performing a hate crime for. Because this is what this is. And the guy she tried pinning this on would have never done something like this.”

“But Jessica said the guy I was standing in for is a horrible racist and misogynistic asshole!”

Craig started laughing. “Oh Cartman is! He’s even more horrible than you think. We have years of stories we could tell you. I can’t even eat chili anymore after one particular incident. But…he’s our friend and the one thing he’s NOT is surprisingly homophobic. And buddy, you just confessed to us and we have it recorded.”

Craig nudged Tweek and the blond pulled out his cell phone, showing Larry he was recording the conversation. The noirette chuckled. “Furthermore Larry, you just HAD to use a paint brand that’s only sold here in North Park. The only other city that’s close that sells it is Denver and that’s two hours away. Plus, Cartman’s not even eighteen and I’m pretty sure you could get fined pretty heavily if you sell that to underage teens. And jeez! You just HAPPEN to work at the one hardware store at the paint counter that sells said brand of spray paint our principal found in Cartman’s locker. Isn’t that a coincidence?”

Larry literally looked like he was about to cry or shit his pants or both as the large guy looked at the two teens. “You two have no fucking clue how much Jessica controlled our school! No fucking idea! I had to do what she said or she would have told the school board that I had done some of the things she and her group did! But it didn’t matter after a while…because she was just so charming and beautiful and I didn’t want anything bad to happen to her.”

Craig inwardly groaned as Larry droned on and on about his entire school life and all the wrongs that had been done to him. This guy REALLY liked to fucking talk and the noirette was about to do what some of this guy’s bullies did to him when he was younger.

“Whoa! It’s the guy we’re looking for!”

Craig resisted the urge to kiss Kyle Broflovski because he was pretty sure that Tweek would freak out, Stan would punch him, and Cartman would probably say something about them having an orgy.

Larry, meanwhile, had backed himself up against the spray paint cage and looked fearfully at Cartman as the large teen GLARED at the large man. Larry was whimpering as Cartman smiled at him and the other four teens suddenly had horrific flashbacks at some of the shit Cartman had done for revenge.

Kyle hesitantly placed his hand on Cartman’s shoulder. “Dude, for once…as much as I hate to say this, let the police handle this. They’ll get what’s coming to them. Let this one go. Please Eric?”

Cartman glared at Kyle and grumbled before sighing. “Fine Kyle. Just this once.”

——————————

The teens waited as Larry called the North Park Police on himself and Kyle gave the police all the information on the crime as well as the South Park Police’s number and their high school’s number to contact PC Principal of the crime being solved.

As they watched Larry being driven away in the police car, Craig sighed and put his arm around Tweek. “Alright, I guess all we need to do now is see what happens tomorrow. Larry’s gonna confess to the crime, but I’m not sure he’s gonna rat out Jessica. Guy’s severely in love with her. This could get ugly. We still need to watch our backs.”

“At l-least part of the problem is g-gone. Now how about we g-go home? There’s nothing really left h-here for us.”

Kyle nodded. “Agreed. Let’s go and tell the others we got the problem taken care of for now.”

———————————

“Tweek? Tweek…what’s wrong?”

The blond flinched as Craig lightly touched his arm and he stared at the noirette with wide eyes. Tears pricked at his eyes and he whimpered as he lunged at Craig and held on tightly.

Craig held the shaking blond as the teen took hitching breaths. The noirette rubbed gentle circles in the boy’s back, until he was sure Tweek had calmed down enough.

“What happened Tweek?”

Tweek whimpered again and held onto Craig tighter. “G-Gut feeling. It’s bad. S-Something bad is gonna happen, I j-just know it. W-We shouldn’t go to school tomorrow.”

Craig furrowed his eyebrows as he ran his fingers through Tweek’s hair. “But everything will be resolved tomorrow. Even if Larry doesn’t tell that Jessica put him up to it, we still have enough evidence on her being involved. We’ll be fine Tweek. I promise.”

The gentle patterns Craig was making in Tweek’s hair was lulling the blond back to sleep and Tweek loosened his grip. He wearily closed his eyes and tried to force down the bad thoughts in his head. “I h-hope you’re right Craig.”

Chapter Text

Despite Tweek successfully falling back asleep, the teen was awake within the hour and, careful not to wake Craig, crawled out of bed and made his way downstairs to make himself a cup of coffee. The blond looked at the kitchen clock and sighed at it only being 5:30am. He knew there would be no way he’d be able to go back to sleep before he had to get up for school. 

His guts twisted painfully, despite the warm coffee working its magic in his body, and the teen sighed and pulled on his jacket and went out his front door to sit on the porch. He was lost in the steam of his coffee and his thoughts, so he didn’t realize someone had sat next to him until the person touched his shoulder.

Tweek bit back a scream as he whipped his head over to see Kenny sitting next to him, looking at him worriedly. 

“J-Jeez Kenny! Warn a guy n-next time!”

Kenny chuckled and ruffled Tweek’s hair. “Sorry dude. You were more out of it than I thought. What’s eating you at this time of night?”

Tweek shivered a bit and curled in on himself as he took a sip of coffee. “R-Remember that time you came and v-visited me in the hospital after I h-had my heart attack and I t-told you that I had had a feeling s-something bad would happen before I had come to w-work the day I had it? And that I s-sometimes had feelings like that and th-there would always be s-something bad to happen? It’s…one of th-those.”

Kenny furrowed his eyebrows. “Tweek…”

“I’m sc-scared Kenny. I know everything sh-should be fine today. I mean… w-we just got that Larry guy to c-confess and we have enough e-evidence on Jessica to link her to wh-what happened…but my g-gut feeling… It’s NEVER wrong Kenny.”

The darker blond placed his arm around Tweek and pulled him close. “Did you tell Craig about it?”

Tweek smiled softly. “I did…but h-he assured me everything w-would be fine. And I WANT to b-believe him…but… I just don’t know wh-what to do. I don’t want us to g-go to school, but we need t-to be there since we’re involved in the wh-whole mess.”

Kenny sighed and cleared his throat before dropping his voice a few octives to create his Mysterion voice. “Don’t worry Tweek. No matter what happens today at school, I’ll do everything in my power to keep you and the others from harm. That’s my duty as the sole remaining superhero in our town.”

Tweek chuckled softly. “Th-Thanks Mysterion. I’m glad you’re st-still around.”

“See you at school Tweek.”

Kenny stood up and helped the other teen up, patting his shoulder, and waited until Tweek had gone back inside before turning around and taking one look at the house across the street he was just at. He pulled out his phone and pulled up the person he needed to talk to. 

“Hey Eric. Yeah…sorry, I know I just left but I need a favor. Can I come over again real fast? I promise I won’t be more than five minutes.”

——————————————-

The apparent lack of sleep didn’t bode well for Tweek once he and Craig made their way to school and went through their classes, despite sucking it up and drinking three thermos’ full of the god awful shit coffee that was in the student lounge. The blond was grateful for the free period their English teacher decided to give them while she made some errands, especially since it was when Kyle, Token, and Cartman decided to go to the office and show PC Principal their findings. 

It turned out both Kyle and Token had put hidden mics on themselves and purposely followed Jessica close by to see if she would reveal anything. Kyle had the conversation in the lunchroom and Token had an interesting conversation from Church the previous day while him and the others had been in North Park.

The blond had just put his head down to catch a tiny bit of sleep, despite his guts feeling like shit, when a hand slammed down close to his head. Tweek lifted his head up in a panic and stared wide-eyed into a smirking Jessica’s face.

“Just want to tell you Tweeky, that I really don’t like the attitude that Craig has towards me and I know it’s because of YOU. I know his type and I know he’s just confused about his feelings for me. I’m just telling you by the end of the week, we WILL be dating, so you should save yourself the heartache and break up with him today.”

Tweek glared at her as best he could with his tired, puffy eyes. “You d-don’t know anything a-about him! He’d never date a b-bitch like you!”

Jessica sneered at him. “Oh, so the little spaz actually has the nerve to talk back to me? You better fucking watch it. After all, your two buddies aren’t in class right now. And you know, I haven’t even seen that fat slob at all today. Maybe they finally suspended him. Serves him right for talking back to me. That’s what happens you know, when people think they can intimidate me…or have things that belong to me.”

The intercom crackled and PC Principal’s voice entered through the speaker in the classroom. “Jessica Rogers, can you report to the principal’s office?”

Jessica frowned slightly and turned back to look at Tweek. “You better heed my warning Tweek. Break up with Craig or I’ll break you two up myself. And it WON’T be pretty.”

Tweek shuddered as the girl walked out of the classroom and shakily pulled his phone out. 

Sent 9:40am

TWEEK: Jessica just threatened me to break up with you.

Sent 9:41am

CRAIG: What!? You’re in English right? Where the hell is Token and Cartman?

Sent 9:42am

TWEEK: I think they’re still in the office with Kyle. They decided to give PC Principal their proof Cartman is innocent since we have a free period. Jessica was just sent to the office, but before that she came up to me and told me to break up with you so you were free to date her.

Sent 9:44am

CRAIG: Yeah, not happening. That bitch can go to hell. Are you doing okay? Take an anxiety pill if you need to.

Sent 9:45am

TWEEK: I’m fine. For now. I’m going to try to take it easy as much as I can without taking one. But if I’m not okay by lunch, I’ll take one. I’ve still got that horrible gut feeling though.

Sent 9:47am

CRAIG: Tweek????? Have you been feeling this way all morning? Even after we went back to bed? :( 

Sent 9:49am

TWEEK: I kind of didn’t get back to sleep after that. I woke up about thirty minutes later. But I’m fine. I’ve got coffee and it’s doing an okay job of keeping me up. I’ll be fine Craig.

Sent 9:51am

CRAIG: :(  ;______;  Tweek……………. You’re NOT fine though! I know you Muffin and I can’t just sit in class knowing you’re not okay! And Clyde’s worried now too because I’m whining that you’re feeling bad and super tired.

Sent 9:53am

TWEEK: Craig, I’m okay. Seriously. Just still keep your wits about you since I don’t know what’s happening in the office with Jessica and the others. And…Muffin? Is that my pet name now? What happened to Dick?

Sent 9:55am

CRAIG: Ugh, fine. And yes Muffin. Because you are my precious Cinnamon Muffin. Dick is when you’re feeling better and can yell at me. ;)  

Sent 9:56am

TWEEK: -_- I am SO going to think of a nickname for you. 

Sent 9:56am

CRAIG: You can call me your Sexy Beast ;)

Sent 9:56am

TWEEK: Space Pig it is! 

Sent 9:57am

CRAIG: You’re STILL sore at me for buying 8 packages of glow in the dark stars and making you spend an entire weekend putting them up, aren’t you? That was like three weeks ago!

Sent 9:57am

TWEEK: Maaaaaybe. Also partially blaming mom for encouraging you to buy them and dad bringing up the ladder so we can get the ceiling too. Anyway, I’m seriously feeling a bit better and 4th period is gonna start soon. Love you Space Pig <3

Sent 9:58am

CRAIG: Love you too……….. DICK!!!!! >:)

Sent 9:58am

TWEEK: >_<

Sent 9:58am

CRAIG: hahahahahahahahahaha

———————————————————-

Kenny grinned at Craig as the noirette sat down in Chemistry. “So…I’m sure you heard the good news since you and Clyde had Calculus last period. The bitch is gone!”

Craig smiled softly. “Yeah… So is it true that she started crying and screaming at PC Principal? Clyde usually exaggerates what actually happens.”

The blond nodded. “Yeah. Kyle told us Cartman wanted to videotape her breakdown but Token talked him out of it and said he’d tell him why later. So, that mess is over!”

“Heh. Yeah…”

Kenny frowned. “Dude, what’s wrong? I would of thought you’d be ecstatic about Jessica being expelled.”

The noirette sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Just worried about Tweek. Just before she was called to the office, she threatened Tweek in English about breaking up with me. He was pretty shaken up about it. And then he told me he still had the gut feeling he had really early this morning. I know she’s gone now…but…”

“But Tweek’s gut feelings are never wrong. Yeah…kind of talked with him early this morning after I left Cartman’s house after cuddling with Leo and saw him sitting on the porch.”

“You know about Tweek’s gut feelings?”

Kenny smiled sadly and nodded. “I…visited him once while he was in the hospital right after his heart attack. I felt really bad since it was my parents’ fault for supplying the Tweaks with…you know. He told me he had known something bad was going to happen. And after knowing about the other three times of it happening, his gut feeling is NOT something to take lightly.”

Craig frowned as he looked at the blond. “Should I just take him home at lunch then? I mean we’re not really doing anything in our classes since Thanksgiving is in a few days. And mom and dad gave us the full week off so we can get the house ready for Tweek’s relatives and cook and prep some of the food.”

Kenny closed his eyes and sighed. “Craig… can I ask you a favor? Come with me to the restroom after class gets out. Send Tweek a message saying you’ll be late and to just go ahead with Leo. I’ll send one to him. And also to sit at our table today. All of you.”

The noirette furrowed his eyebrows. “Kenny?”

“Just…trust me on this. Okay Craig?”

———————————————-

Tweek frowned as he stared at the lunchroom doors, getting worried with each passing second that Craig wasn’t there. His guts twisted painfully, keeping the blond from even wanting to eat his lunch. 

“I’m sure they’ll be here soon. Ken said something happened in Chemistry and they had to go to the restroom after class.”

Tweek sighed and nodded at Butters and stared at his sandwich again, trying to will his stomach to cooperate. 

Token reached over and patted the teen on the shoulder. “Everything’s fine Tweek. Jessica is gone and can’t do anything to us anymore. And she’s confined to the office with PC Principal until her parents and the Juvie officer gets here. Too bad she wasn’t eighteen though. She would have been in even more trouble.”

“M-My gut feeling’s still h-here though…”

Craig and Kenny finally walked through the lunchroom doors and Craig gave Tweek a gentle hair ruffle before sitting down. “Sorry we’re late.”

Tweek furrowed his eyebrows as he heard the gruffness in Craig’s voice. “Y-You okay? Your voice sounds bad. Was there a chemical spill or something?”

Craig nodded and rubbed his throat. “Made me cough pretty bad. Kenny got it worse. His voice is shot and his eyes are pretty sore. That’s why he’s got his hood up.”

Kenny nodded as he pulled his hood tighter around his face. 

“M-Maybe that was it… My g-gut feeling… You two got h-hurt.”

Craig put his hand on Tweek’s shoulder. “We both did actually heed your warning and stepped back as soon as we saw something wrong. It could have been worse.”

The blond smiled softly as he picked up his sandwich and took a bite. “I g-guess that was the b-bad thing to happen. I’m f-feeling a bit better.”

“Miss Rogers! Get back here right now!”

Most of the students in the lunchroom jumped up as Jessica burst through the doors and immediately shot her gaze over to the group.

“It’s your fault I’m expelled! I’ll fucking kill you all!”

The girl pulled out a knife that had been hidden behind her back and lunged at the closest person at the table. 

Tweek’s heart throbbed and everything seemed like it was going in slow motion as he saw the knife heading straight for him. Suddenly he was shoved back and was caught by Kyle. The blond’s eyes widened and time seemed to stop as he saw Jessica ram the knife into Craig’s chest.

“CRAIG!”

The noirette stumbled back and Tweek broke out of Kyle’s grasp to catch the falling teen. Craig coughed harshly, blood coming out of his mouth. 

“No! No! No! I didn’t mean to! I was aiming at the fucking spaz! Craig! I’m sorry!”

Jessica fell to her knees as she stared at Craig’s body. “You were supposed to be mine.”

Tweek held Craig, tears streaming from his face, staring at the knife protruding from the teen’s chest, trying hard not to move the noirette’s body too much as blood pumped out of the wound.

Craig started to laugh weakly. “Didn’t I t-tell you that I’d do everything in my power to keep you and the others from harm today? Kept my promise, didn’t I?”

The teen pulled off the chullo and black wig from his head, revealing the horribly disheveled blond hair. Tweek’s eyes widened as he finally recognized Kenny’s face.

“Kenny!?”

Kenny smiled weakly. “I’ll be fine. You know that. Leo! Sorry about this, b-but I had to take one for the team.”

Butters sniffed and nodded. “I reckon I’ll give this one to you Ken. I promise I won’t kick you violently this time.”

The teen chuckled before he started taking shaky breaths, wheezing as he slowly closed his eyes, and let death take him. 

“Oh my God, they killed Kenny!”

“You bastard!”

After the predictable phrases from Stan and Kyle, “Kenny” pulled his hood back and pulled off the blond wig, revealing Craig and the teen harshly grabbed the hysterical Jessica by the arm and pulled her up and shoved her at PC Principal. “Murder. That’s a pretty heavy charge right there, isn’t it?”

PC Principal nodded. “She’ll be tried as an adult. Come on Miss Rogers. You’re in deep trouble.”

The girl was still in shock as she let the man lead her away, still muttering about how she killed the love of her life. 

Craig bent down and gently pulled Tweek away from Kenny’s stiffening body and held him tightly as the blond shivered against him. 

“Craig, I th-thought… I thought you… Don’t EVER do that again you asshole!”

Craig winced as Tweek punched him hard in the shoulder, knowing he’d probably be feeling it for a few days. Despite never boxing again after the fight the two were forced in when they were in 3rd grade, Tweek STILL had a vicious right hook.

“I’m sorry Muffin.”

“You’ll be sorry when you’re peeling all the sweet potatoes and baking potatoes for our Thanksgiving dinner!”

The noirette chuckled and kissed the blond on the cheek. “You’re not stuttering.”

“I’m too fucking mad at you to stutter!”

The intercom crackled and Mr. Mackey’s voice came through the speakers. “Due to the tragedy of today, the rest of school is cancelled, m’kay.”

The lunchroom began to thin out as teens began to rush out, happy that school was out despite them all witnessing one of their classmates getting murdered.

Craig waited until he was sure the blond was calm enough to help him up off the floor. “Alright guys, we’ve got work to do. Stan, go get Wendy and tell her we need her Photoshop skills and Kyle, I know you can break into police records. Kenny’s death and everything that happened will be forgotten by everyone, so we need to leave physical evidence so Jessica won’t ever be able to harm anyone again.”

Kyle’s eyes widened. “What the hell Craig!? Our friend just died! Have some fucking sympathy!”

Craig groaned and rolled his eyes. “Seriously Kyle!? Kenny dies and resurrects all the time! And everyone here at the table remembers he does except for you and Stan. Try to fucking remember!”

The redhead huffed. “That’s impossible that Kenny can do that! We’ve known him all his life! How can that be possible!?”

The noirette growled. “Kyle! It’s South Park! Shit like this is normal! And to be honest, I am EXTREMELY surprised Jessica was just a normal teenage girl and not a demon or succubus or a…guinea pirate… God fucking damn it! I hate Peru!”

“Kyle…we’ve seen him stabbed before. By the goth kids.”

Kyle turned around to see Stan stare at Kenny’s body. “Stan? Not you too!”

Stan shook his head. “Dude, I remember. I remember Kenny yelling at you and then he shot himself. Shit dude! He died Thursday night right outside my house when my dad accidentally ran over him in the car because he was drunk!”

Kyle rubbed at his eyes. “You guys are all fucking crazy! I mean…sure I still make a soap sculpture and macaroni picture and other stupid craft things every year to honor how Kenny sacrificed himself to save Moses that one year at Jewbilee, but…. Oh my god. Kenny dies and can resurrect himself.”

Craig patted the redhead on the shoulder. “Alright, now that you remember, it’s time to put your hacking skills to work.”

—————————————— 

The assembly the next day for their killed classmate had the nearly the entirety of South Park High reminiscing in how the teen impacted their lives and his death would be a catalyst for the students to be more open-minded and band together as a school to end all sorts of bullying.

Craig was groaning and face-palming as Kenny covertly laughed his ass off beside him. Wendy and Kyle had did an amazing job of creating the poor slain teen, victim of a hate crime, his killer just not wanting to come to terms with him being gay.

The brilliant smiling face of Tucker McKinney was displayed on the overhead projector as teens walked up to the podium and relayed their fondest memories of the made-up teen. The entire fucking school except for Craig’s and Stan’s groups were goddamn idiots for not being able to tell the teen was OBVIOUSLY just Craig and Kenny mashed together. 

Tweek was trying and failing to keep a straight face and he quickly broke and buried his head in Craig’s chest as Butters put his fantastic acting talent to use to describe just how amazing Tucker was, building up the school in how they might never get over the loss of such a wonderful teen.

School was let out early and the group waited until most of the school was gone before they left. 

Craig shook his head as he looked at everyone. “We’re assholes. Complete and total assholes. We framed a girl for murder. How fucked up are we?”

Tweek put his arms over Craig’s shoulders. “It w-was your idea Craig.”

“I didn’t think we’d get away with it though. I almost feel bad.”

“Sh-She nearly stabbed me.”

Craig kissed both of Tweek’s hands. “And the thought of feeling bad is gone. I’m glad you’re here to ground me and not let me think those stupid thoughts. Love you my Muffin.”

“Love y-you too Space Piggy. You’re still p-peeling all the potatoes.”

“Damn it!”

Chapter Text

Craig glared at his old house as he reluctantly walked up the steps to the front door and sighed. Did he just go in or knock? Would Thomas yell at him if he just walked in? As he hesitantly raised his hand to knock, his thoughts drifted to wanting to be anywhere but here. He really wanted to be home with Tweek and helping the blond and his mom with the baking and prepping and trying to keep Tweek calm since his uncle’s family came down early that morning and Craig really felt a bad vibe from Uncle Robert and Tweek's cousin, Bobby.

The door opened swiftly and a petite hand was shoved in front of his face, middle finger extended.

Ruby smirked. “Saw you coming from my room. Figured I’d meet you. Everyone’s already here.”

Damn it… Craig really had changed as he saw his little sister in front of him for the first time in several months. He knew he talked to her on Skype, but actually seeing her stirred his emotions and he heard the girl squeak and stiffen as he lunged toward her and embraced her in a hug.

“Craig?”

“Let me have this Ruby. I missed you too goddamn much.”

The noirette felt the girl relax and pull her arms out to return the hug.

Craig finally let go and smiled before flipping Ruby off. “There. That better?”

Ruby rolled her eyes. “You know…you’re a good hugger. I’ll let those slide but only if they come from you.”

The noirette smiled slightly and sighed. “I would really rather be at home with Tweek right now. His family is already down and they stress him out. But he insisted I come and he’d be fine for a few hours.”

“I had hoped you would have brought him. I mean he was welcome you know.”

“I know but after that shit with Jessica, I didn’t want him to stress out since I don’t know everyone’s stance on us being together. Plus, he promised to stay in the kitchen since baking relaxes him and he’s really needed it. He’s trying to not take too many of his pills lately, especially today.”

The two walked into the dining room where everyone had already migrated. Thomas, Skeeter, and Brian were already sitting at the table and by the looks of it, the two brothers had already had a few drinks.

Thomas glared at Craig as the teen walked past him and into the kitchen and Craig bit back the urge to yell or flip the older man off. It had been nearly three months since the noirette had even seen the man he used to call dad and each passing second reminded Craig that he was definitely not welcome in the house.

His mom was placing the rolls in the oven while Red was taking plates out of the cabinets. Craig nodded to Red and lightly touched his mom on the shoulder. “Hey mom.”

The woman turned around and smiled slightly as she flipped the teen off. “Craig, it’s been so long. How are you doing? You look taller.”

Craig tried to not let his feelings show as he flipped his mom off, wanting desperately to give her a hug instead but knew he probably get the reaction Ruby had given him. He REALLY wished he was home right now, helping Tweek and enjoying the warmth the Tweak’s presence filled him with. Even now in the kitchen, he still felt the icy chill he felt as if he was still outside.

“I’m fine mom. Got a job and looking into colleges. I’m friends with Tweek again. Remember him? He’s a really great guy. How’s everything with you?”

“That’s great Craig. Asked your father how you were, but he refused to tell me. Brian got a promotion at work. Can you help Red set the table? I need to get the gravy made.”

Craig closed his eyes as he looked off to the side. “Sure mom.”

The noirette felt a hand grab his arm and saw Ruby giving him a stern look.

“Actually mom, I’m gonna give Craig his birthday present that’s like a month late. It’s in my room. Come on Craig.”

The girl all but dragged Craig out of the kitchen, through the dining room, and up the stairs. The noirette nearly tripped as he tried keeping up the pace his younger sister had put the two in as Ruby brought them into her room and closed the door.

“You already gave me my present when Token and Clyde went to get Streak from you. What are you-”

Craig was caught off guard as Ruby brought him into a hug.

“This was what you wanted to do, wasn’t it Craig?”

The noirette blinked back tears and sniffed as he returned the hug, holding on tighter than he had done when he had seen Ruby initially. He nodded into the girl’s shoulder as he shook slightly. “It’s…a bit of a mood whiplash from what I’m used to at Tweek’s. I thought she’d… It’s been so long…and I just… Sorry Ruby.”

The redhead patted Craig on the back as he slightly broke down. “It’s fine Craig. It’s okay.”

——————————

The clanking of silverware and chewing was getting on Craig’s nerves and grated on his ears as everyone silently ate. He slightly shivered in his coat that he had refused to take off, despite the temperature in the house being a comfortable warmness.

Craig had sat next to Ruby and Red, placing himself in the middle, Thomas and Skeeter were on the opposite ends, and Craig and Ruby’s mother and Brian were opposite the children. Craig could definitely feel people staring at him (most likely Thomas and Brian) as he kept his head down and ate, knowing as soon as he was finished, he’d excuse himself to go home.

“So Craig, how’s school been? I overheard Ruby talking the other day to you and there seemed to be a problem with you?”

Craig looked up at Brian and resisted the urge to glare or give the man his middle finger. The noirette REALLY didn’t like the look his mom’s boyfriend was giving him.

“Everything’s fine. We had a crazy chick kind of having a stalker crush on a few kids, me included, but she’s gone now. She bullied my friend Tweek too so I’m really glad she’s gone. It’s too bad what happened to our classmate though.”

Brian chuckled darkly. “What kind of name is Tweek? Is he one of the druggie kids or something with that name? I know your mother told me you’ve got a bit of a bad streak to you. Figured you’d hang out with the bad kids.”

The noirette growled. “Tweek is a nickname because that’s his last name. It was easier for him to say it than his real name when we were younger. And he’s NOT a druggie! He’s actually the manager at his parent’s coffee shop where I work and he’s a straight A Honor student.”

“The Tweaks actually gave you a job at their shop?”

Craig turned to look at Thomas, who had furrowed his eyebrows and stared at the teen. “Yeah, they did. Technically I’m the Assistant Manager since it’s just the four of us and the Tweaks are the owners. It’s a good job and they pay me well. And they’re very accommodating on my shifts when I start Basketball in December.”

The noirette watched as his not-father’s expression change into one of surprise. “You’re…still gonna play Basketball?”

His mom put her fork down and stared at the man. “Thomas! Shouldn’t you know all this about your son?! It sounds like you don’t even know anything about him!”

Craig cleared his throat, getting everyone’s attention again. “Yeah, I’m still playing Basketball. I honestly was up in the air about it. I HAD gathered the money for my fees and such, but I ended up buying Tweek a guitar for his birthday with what I saved up. Yesterday though, when Tweek and I were baking pies, Stan’s gang, Butters, Token, and Clyde came over and Token got in my face and told me that he had paid my dues because I was NOT leaving him by himself with Kyle and Cartman. And Stan’s group had bought me a pair of new shoes and told me now they’re even on stealing that hundred dollars from me when I turned ten.”

“Thomas! You’re supposed to be helping pay for that stuff! It’s not completely up to Craig to do! That’s what a father does!”

Thomas growled. “Listen Laura! I can’t believe he hasn’t told you, but I-”

“Thomas kicked me out three months ago. I’ve been living with the Tweaks.”

The room grew silent as everyone save for Ruby stared in shock at the teenager. Craig closed his eyes, mentally berating himself for even opening his mouth.

“Thomas! How could you!? How could you kick out our son!?”

Craig slammed his hands down on the table before Thomas could say anything. “Mom! I know! I know I’m not his real son! He told me, so you don’t have to pretend anymore!”

Brian stood up and crossed over to the other side of the table, where he grabbed the teen by his jacket and pulled him up. “Don’t you dare talk back to your mother like that you little delinquent bastard!”

“Brian! Leave Craig alone!”

Craig glanced at his mother before turning back to look at Brian and smirked. “And what the fuck are you gonna do about it Brian? I know she doesn’t even give a shit about me, so I don’t care either. I thought maybe not seeing me for months would bring out some motherly instinct but she wouldn’t even give me a goddamn hug. I shouldn’t even fucking BE here! I’m not a fucking Tucker, so I don’t even have anyone I’m related to except for her and Ruby. If you think you can fucking guilt trip me, you’re barking up the wrong tree!”

Brian sneered in his face. “Little punks like you disgust me! No wonder Thomas threw you out! No respect for your elders!”

“I do fucking have respect for my elders that treat ME with respect! Richard and Maureen Tweak have been nothing but kind to me and treat me with respect and dignity. They gave me a job, they gave me a HOME! They’ve given me the family life I’ve been desperately craving! I didn't realize how wonderful that feeling of someone being proud of you and caring about you was until I started living with them. They love me dearly and treat me like I'm their son and I love them and I especially love their son Tweek!”

Tears pricked his eyes as Craig shoved Brian away from him. His breathing hitched as he tried not to break down in front of everyone as he realized he outed himself in front of the older adults. Both of his past relationships hadn’t lasted very long for his mom and Thomas to know Craig had dated a guy before.

“Craig…you’re…gay?”

Craig turned to look his mom in the eyes and nodded. “Tweek’s my boyfriend mom. I love him so much. He saved my life when I was at my lowest and I'm so grateful he's in my life.”

Brian narrowed his eyes. “Oh! So you’re a fucking faggot then?! No wonder I can’t stand you! You’re a damn queer lover just like sister! I told her I didn’t-”

*THWACK*

Craig was breathing heavily, his hand shaking and smarting, as pain ebbed through the appendage. Tweek was definitely going to be upset that Craig had punched Brian wrong, especially since the blond had actually taught the noirette the correct way to hold his fist to prevent injury. He already felt his hand starting to bruise and had to add Token, Kyle, and Cartman to the list of people that would yell at him.

Brian hit the floor hard, groaning as he held the side of his face, trying and failing to sit up.

“I don’t fucking care about what you say about me, but NEVER fucking say that shit about MY baby sister you fucking asshole!”

The teen turned around and put his hands gently on Ruby’s shoulders. “Has he been saying this shit to you?”

Ruby looked down and nodded slightly, folding her arms as she hugged herself.

“Why didn’t you tell me he was bullying you?”

“You and Tweek had your own problems to deal with. It’s fine Craig. It wasn’t that important.”

Craig furrowed his eyebrows, hurt evident on his face as he pulled his sister into the third hug of the day, slightly feeling elated that the girl immediately latched onto him. “Ruby…NOTHING is more important in my life than you, Tweek, and Streak. I mean that.”

He turned to look at his mother and not-father. “Thomas, I know you don’t give a shit about me since I’m not your son, but Ruby IS your daughter. She is NOT going back home with HIM, not if I have anything to say about it. I’m not having my baby sister bullied by some homophobic piece of shit. Mom…I’m sorry to say, but I REALLY fucking hate Brian.”

Thomas looked over to Laura and sighed. “Both of us will have to talk about this. But…you’re right Craig. I’m not letting her go back if that’s happening to her. You don’t deserve being talked to like that either.”

Craig nodded and turned back to Ruby. “Go get your jacket. I think both of us need to get away for a while and Tweek’s been dying to see you.”

The girl nodded and ran upstairs to get her jacket. Craig headed for the door, stepping over the now passed out Brian.

“I’m gonna take Ruby home for a few hours. I don’t want her anywhere near that asshole when he wakes up.”

————————————-

Craig and Ruby were barely out the door when it opened and Red came out. “Craig, just for the record, you’re still my cousin, regardless of parentage.”

The noirette smiled. “Thanks Red. See you at school Monday.”

The girl nodded and walked back in.

Craig pulled out his phone and selected Tweek’s number, trying to ignore the ache in his hand as he typed his message to the blond.

Sent 12:45pm

CRAIG: Hey Muffin, stuff went down here and I’m bringing Ruby home with me for a few hours.

Craig began to put his phone up when Tweek’s ringtone chimed, letting Craig know Tweek had replied back.

Sent 12:46pm

TWEEK: Shit went down here too. Come to the coffee shop. That’s where I am. I’ve got Streak and my guitar.

Sent 12:46pm

CRAIG: Okay. See you in a few minutes then.

The teen frowned as he put his phone back up. “Change of plans Ruby. We’re going to the coffee shop.”

“What’s wrong?”

“He said shit went down at home. Now I REALLY feel bad for not being there.”

Ruby smiled slightly and put her hand on Craig’s shoulder. “It’ll be okay Craig. Now let’s get to the shop so I can see my future brother-in-law.”

Chapter Text

Tweek had kissed Craig lightly on the lips before smoothing out the noirette’s chullo and jacket as he tried to stall for time on the teen having to go over to his former house. His hands shook and he grumbled at them for betraying his emotions and nervousness. Downstairs, the two could hear the loud banter of Tweek’s family, especially the small fight Richard and Robert were getting into.

“Tweek, I don’t really have to go you know. I should cut ties with them anyway since I only really care about Ruby over there. And you need me.”

Tweek shook his head. “Craig, you n-need to go, at least to see Ruby. It’s only f-for a few hours. I’ll be fine. I’ll j-just stay in the kitchen and help mom and Aunt Kathryn.”

“I know you don’t want to, but maybe you should take an anxiety pill. Shit, I’M even getting irked by your uncle and cousin for talking that way about your dad and you. The fucking nerve of them keeping bringing up IT, you know?”

“Craig, don’t. Uncle Robert’s just m-mad him and Aunt Kathryn have to sleep on th-the foldout bed in the couch. He’ll get over it. And B-Bobby’s just an asshole in general. And seriously, I’ll be f-fine without a pill. They make me loopy. You should get o-over there.”

The noirette sighed. “Keep your asshole cousin away from our daughter. I don’t even want him breathing the same air as Streak.”

Tweek nodded. “I’ll probably p-put her in her travel cage and k-keep her in the kitchen with us. The men aren’t a-allowed in the kitchen and the f-football game is on.”

“I’ll be home in a few hours. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

———————————

“Oh Richie! I don’t think you should grab those pans from up there! You could fall and hurt yourself! Bobby! Come in the kitchen and help your cousin get some of the baking pans!”

Tweek’s eye twitched slightly as he successfully grabbed the pans and was back on the floor before his aunt got through with her speech. “Aunt Kathryn, I got them j-just fine. Bobby doesn’t h-have to come in. Besides, I’m taller than h-him by a few inches…and older…”

The woman huffed, patting the teen on the head and grabbing the pans out of his hands. “But Richie, you’re a fragile thing, with your heart condition and…other problems. I don’t even know why your mother is even allowing you in the kitchen!”

“Kathryn…Tweek isn’t as fragile as he used to be. He manages the store by himself on some nights and him and Craig spent this entire week prepping and cooking most of the food.”

Kathryn looked over to Tweek’s mom and rolled her eyes. “I know you mean well Maureen, but I DO remember last year and how bad Richie’s anxiety got. He should really be in the living room watching the game with the guys and not in here, especially since him and Bobby haven’t even seen each other for a year.”

Tweek took a few deep breaths as he gathered the vegetables to make the salad. “I’d rather spend m-my time in here Aunt Kathryn. I don’t r-really like football anyway, except for when my friends pl-play. And baking relaxes me. Plus I’m l-looking into culinary schools t-to go to after graduation.”

“Being a chef is too stressful Richie. You really should look into something that won’t aggravate your heart and your other problems. Now if you hadn’t had that poor misfortune when you were younger, that would be a good profession. You should look into careers where you can work at home, like what I do.”

Tweek took a second to stop chopping the lettuce and put some in a small bowl to give to Streak, who was looking at the leaves hungrily on her designated counter. “Aunt Kathryn, I don’t w-want to be a recluse, despite m-my SPD and all m-my other problems. Craig and I h-have both been looking for c-colleges that are close to each o-other that have our i-interests in mind.”

Kathryn stopped stirring the gravy on the stove. “And where exactly did you meet this Craig boy anyway? Seems pretty important that you just let him move in without telling any of the family. Maureen, are you sure you and Richard can just trust this boy with your son?”

“Craig’s b-been my friend since elementary and I trust him c-completely Aunt Kathryn. He’s a good person. I’ve had less anxiety a-attacks and nightmares since he’s b-been here. And seriously, I’m n-not as fragile as I used to be.”

Tweek opened the travel cage door and lightly stroked the long white streak of fur that gave Streak her name before putting the bowl of lettuce in the cage. Immediately, the guinea pig whistled excitedly and began to devour the leaves. The blond smiled as he watched her eat, grateful that she wasn’t feeling as stressed as he was. Aunt Kathryn meant well, but sometimes she was a bit TOO overprotective and nosy about what went on in his life.

“Richie, honey, you know having that little rat thing in the kitchen can cross contaminate the food. I really wish you hadn’t brought it in here.”

The blond furrowed his eyebrows. “She's a guinea pig, not a rat and Streak’s f-fine. She’s a very clean animal. And she would h-have been lonely up in the room b-by herself. She’s family.”

He watched as him mom gave him a sympathetic look before turning to the other woman. “Kathy, maybe you should leave Tweek alone for right now while we’re cooking. We can all talk later after dinner.”

Kathryn pointed the gravy spoon at the brunette woman. “I’M just trying to take an active role in my nephew’s well-being and life. Don’t forget I raised him for a bit while you and Richard had your problems. Why they even gave him back to you is beyond me.”

“We’re his parents!”

“You certainly didn’t act like it when you force fed him drugs for years!”

"It's been five years Kathy!"

"And Richie is STILL messed up from what you did! He'll never be-"

Tweek slammed his hands on the table. “SHUT UP!”

The two women jumped slightly and stared wide-eyed at the blond teen.

The blond took shaky breathes as he forced the knots in his stomach to die down. He gently picked Steak’s cage up. “We’ll be in the living room.”

————————————

Honestly, the living room wasn’t much better than being in the kitchen. If it wasn’t his mom and aunt arguing, it was his dad and uncle doing the same shit. And as Tweek sat down in the one unoccupied chair, trying his best to keep his cousin from trying to knock Streak’s cage off of the side of the chair by throwing pillows and whatever he could and laughing about it, he REALLY wished Craig was home or he could just go to their room and stay until dinner was ready.

“Finally decided to man up and let the women do the cooking, didn’t you Richie?”

The eye twitch he adopted in the kitchen flared back up again and Tweek bit back the bile trying to rise. “Th-There’s not much left. Craig and I did most of it earlier in th-the week.”

His uncle Robert chuckled humorlessly. “Just like usual and making you take care of most of the work while they go off and do whatever.”

“Maureen and I were working at the shop and we gave Tweek and Craig this week off to help with dinner.”

Robert scoffed. “You know Richard, if you had ANY business sense, like me, you would have hired more people so you didn’t have to work so much. Unless business is doing horribly like it was when you were drugging out the town on meth and can’t hire the extra help.”

Tweek rubbed his eyes, feeling the beginning of a headache form. His eye started twitching again and even Streak was chattering her teeth and hissing a tiny bit in her cage.

“Don’t tell me how to run my business Robert! And at least I STILL have MY business and didn’t sell it out to the competitor like you did!”

The two men stood up and got close to each other’s faces. Robert sneered. “Well at least I didn’t slander our family name when I closed down, unlike you! I still get embarrassed to this day that you took our name, our legacy, our father’s own coffee shop he built from the ground up and ruined our family’s reputation and morals as a respectable business practice! And what’s even worse, you HAD to just fuck up your own son doing it! Richie will NEVER be normal or have a normal life because of your actions!”

“How dare you-”

“Will both of you just shut the fuck up!?”

The two men stopped and stared at Tweek, who had jumped out of the chair and glared at them angrily. Even Bobby was staring at his cousin in shock for the blond’s outburst.

“I’ve had it! I’ve fucking had it! We’re supposed to be a fucking family, full of love and support and instead, all you two EVER do when you see each other is fight! Yeah Uncle Robert, dad fucked up. Him and mom fully admit they fucked up, but you know what? They got better. They cleaned up their act, they made the fucking effort to fix their mistakes. And I know full goddamn well that what they did fucked me up. You’re right, I’m NOT normal and my life won’t ever be normal with all my mental health problems, but I’m doing the best I fucking can!”

He heard someone shift behind him and turned around to see his mom and Aunt Kathryn standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

He turned around and looked at his aunt with hurt in his eyes. “And Aunt Kathryn…actually listen to me and mom for once when we say that I’m NOT that fragile anymore! I’m not the angry, broken kid I was when I was twelve and thirteen. I’ve got a job, great friends, an amazing boyfriend who’s helped me more in the short time he’s lived here than you have in the past five years!”

Tweek’s breathing hitched and he shakily took a few breaths, trying to ebb the panic attack he felt coming on. “I’ve b-been doing good. I’ve barely HAD any panic attacks in th-the last few months and I’ve lessened the amount of anxiety p-pills I take and my therapy appointments. I’ve been improving so much. And I kn-know that culinary school and the business management classes I want to take will be stressful, but that’s wh-what I WANT to do. I WANT to take over the business from dad and maybe expand it like granddad wanted you two to do b-before all this shit started. Despite everything that’s h-happened, that’s what I know and love.”

The blond sniffed as a tear rolled down his cheek. “But it’s real f-fucking shitty that my own family doesn’t think I’m capable of having a n-normal life and doing that! You want to know WHY I had that bad anxiety attack last year?! Because all of you just couldn’t get along! The entire fucking t-time, all of you fought and yelled and you wouldn’t even l-let me get away to calm down! You just shoved me right in the fucking middle of your damn fighting and arguing! Why do we even d-do this every year if you all can’t fucking st-stand each other!?”

He wrapped his arms around himself as he shivered. “I just want out.”

The thump of his heart pounded heavily in his chest and his body shook as he breathed. Tweek saw shapes moving toward him and before any could get to him and his panic attack bloomed in full force, swiftly grabbed Streak’s cage and pushed whoever was in his way to storm up the stairs and into his and Craig’s room, slamming the door and locking it.

——————————–

Tweek ran his fingers through Streak’s fluffy black and white fur as the guinea pig licked and nibbled the teen’s other hand while she purred and offered comfort. The blond smiled softly. “Sorry you h-had to hear all that Streaky. I really didn’t think I had a-all that in me.”

Carefully picking up the pig and putting her in his lap, Tweek sat up from laying on the bed and stared wearily at the pill bottles on his side of the bed. He sighed as he picked up the blue bottle that designated his anxiety medication. Selecting a single pill, Tweek hesitantly put it up to his mouth.

“Wouldn’t b-be Thanksgiving without taking one of these.”

Tweek stopped as he saw his guitar in the edge of his vision. He brought his hand down and turned his head to properly look at the instrument on the stand that Token had found in one of his closets. He smiled softly and gently placed Streak on Craig’s side of the bed and moved off the bed to grab his guitar.

Getting back on the bed, Tweek closed his eyes as he absentmindedly strummed the guitar, not really playing a song, but the soothing melody began to relax him. Beside him, Streak whistled in delight, curling up beside Tweek’s leg.

“Hey Streak, you w-wouldn’t mind if we got out of th-the house for a while, would you?”

The guinea pig headbutted Tweek’s leg, causing the blond to smile. “Alright, coffee sh-shop it is.”

Tweek packed his guitar in the softer case he had bought at the music shop the Tuesday after his birthday and put the padded blanket on top of Streak’s travel cage before loading the guinea pig in it. Slinging his guitar on his back and picking up Streak’s cage, Tweek carefully opened his door and made his way to his room, hoping Bobby wasn’t in there since his cousin was sleeping in there that night.

The blond had opened the window and was just about to throw the rope ladder down that Kenny got for everyone’s windows, when the door opened and Bobby walked in.

Tweek looked at his cousin with wide eyes, the muscled brunette staring him down as well. Bobby stepped toward the blond and put his hand on Tweek’s shoulder.

“Richie…dude…you’ve got a shitload more guts than I do for talking back to mom and dad. Where you going?”

Tweek froze at the sincere tone in Bobby’s voice, one that he hadn’t heard in his cousin before. “I…need to g-get out. Was thinking the c-coffee shop.”

Bobby nodded and smiled. “I’ll cover you. Tell them where you are when they finally start talking. They’re all in the living room just sitting there. Be safe, alright?”

Tweek nodded and Bobby helped him get out the window with his guitar and Streak. His cousin gave him a thumbs up once he was safely on the ground and Tweek returned the gesture.

———————————-

Tweek made it to the coffee shop in a few minutes, having quickened his normal pace since he had Streak and opened up the shop from the back door. He set his guitar down on the large bags of coffee beans and began turning on the heat and some of the lights. Streak whistled as he let her out of the carrier and into her large cage in the corner.

He had just made himself a large cinnamon hot chocolate and was about to text Craig on where he was, when Craig’s ringtone chimed.

Sent 12:45pm

CRAIG: Hey Muffin, stuff went down here and I’m bringing Ruby home with me for a few hours.

Tweek frowned as he replied, hoping nothing too serious happened with his boyfriend.

Sent 12:46pm

TWEEK: Shit went down here too. Come to the coffee shop. That’s where I am. I’ve got Streak and my guitar.

Sent 12:46pm

CRAIG: Okay. See you in a few minutes then.

The blond took a sip of his hot chocolate before setting it down and rummaging around in the freezers. He was getting a bit hungry and he wasn’t sure if Craig and Ruby had eaten before whatever happened over there had taken place. Ham and turkey croissants and whatever he could scrounge up to do with the bagels might not be the delicious Thanksgiving dinner he had helped prepare, but Tweek was determined not to go back until the situation at home subsided.

Chapter Text

As Craig and Ruby began to pass by Clyde’s house, the door opened and the brunette stepped out, holding a bag of trash. Craig stopped when he heard his name called and allowed Clyde to run up to them.

“I’d say Happy Thanksgiving, but judging from the muffled yelling I heard, I guess it wasn’t.”

Craig grumbled and nodded. “Wouldn’t be a Tucker Thanksgiving if there wasn’t someone getting punched. In this case, it was fucking Brian. Turns out he’s a damn homophobic piece of shit, but considering he’s from North Park, it figured. REALLY didn’t like the fact I’m a “fucking faggot” as he called me. And was bullying Ruby about it too.”

Clyde was making his angered and hurt puppy dog look as he stared at the Tucker siblings and Craig really hoped Clyde wouldn’t get weepy on Ruby like he had done in the past.

“You two are okay though, right? Brian didn’t…DO anything, did he?”

Ruby shook her head. “I have gay friends that I love dearly at North Park, but Brian really didn’t approve of me hanging out with them. He never outright said anything to me, but the inflection was there.”

The noirette flexed his hurt hand. “Tweek’s gonna be pissed at me because I fucking held my hand wrong. We’re actually on the way to the coffee shop to meet him. Shit apparently went down at home, so he’s hiding out at the shop with Streak.”

Clyde smiled softly and nodded. “Well, better not keep you two waiting then. See you at school Monday.”

Craig narrowed his eyes at the trash bag in Clyde’s hand and sighed. “Clyde, go lock up the house. You’re coming with us.”

“Uh…what?”

Craig grabbed the trash bag out of Clyde’s hands. “Dude, you’ve got a microwave turkey dinner box in here. ONE microwave turkey dinner. Your dad’s still at his shoe store, isn’t he?”

Clyde looked down, hurt in his eyes. “He has to get the store ready for Black Friday and without mom to kind of remind him of holidays, he gets caught up in work. It’s fine Craig.”

“Go lock your house up Clyde. We’re not letting you be alone on Thanksgiving, especially since I consider you family. I’m one of your “gay sons” after all.”

Clyde chuckled and shot Craig a rare grateful smile. “Thanks Craig.”

————————————

Tweek had just walked through the back door to throw away the trash bags his parents forgot when he heard a bang of metal and a familiar voice curse. The blond waited a minute until he saw Butters, Kenny and his little sister, Karen, turn the corner to walk in the alley, arms full of take-out containers from City Wok.

“H-Hey guys!”

The three teens looked up, Kenny’s face turning from the angry scowling normally reserved for his Mysterion persona to his more laid back one. “Hey Tweek. Don’t tell me you guys are actually OPEN on Thanksgiving.”

Tweek smiled and shook his head. “Trouble at h-home with the extended f-family. Had to get out.”

Butters nodded in agreement and Kenny chuckled humorlessly as he gave a glance to Karen. “Oh trust me, Karen and I are quite familiar with that. I mean I’m glad dad and mom don’t do or make drugs anymore, but that damn drinking habit…”

The older McCormick sibling growled as his hands shook the containers in his hands. Karen shifted hers and put her hand on her brother’s shoulder.

“Kenny, it’s okay. We should have expected it. At least Mr. Kim gave us all the leftovers from last night. That was nice of him.”

Tweek furrowed his eyebrows as he looked worriedly at the three. “Wh-What happened?”

Kenny glared at the containers in his hands. “I gave mom money to go get us the stuff for a nice Thanksgiving dinner. You know…turkey, ham, a couple of other things…and then our fucking father decided to convince mom to use some of it to get beer and now at home, we have JUST a frozen turkey, passed out parents, and we’re walking home with City Wok leftovers after Mr. Kim called me to come get them that would have gone bad before he opened tomorrow that are gonna be our dinner.”

Kenny sighed. “And then, on the way to the restaurant, we find out Leo’s parents fucking LEFT him here while they went off to Hawaii for a week, so we invited him to our shitty dinner. At least it’s mainly our favorites that DON’T cause horrible diarrhea. I REALLY don’t want to die like that again.”

Butters hit Kenny on the shoulder. “I don’t want to SEE you die from that again. That was just one of those deaths that I just want to strangle whatever being decided you needed to die from that.”

Karen chuckled. “Mom was grateful I warned her so she could wear her ratty pajamas that night. You ruined her silky blue ones when the pudding monster killed you.”

“I bought her a new set!”

“But they weren’t the same. It was the wrong blue.”

Kenny rolled his eyes. “Like she has any right to complain. They’re the ones that just HAD to go to that damn cult.”

Tweek chuckled before looking at the three again. “Well, if you d-don’t want to go home yet, you guys c-can come in if you want. Craig and Ruby will be h-here soon since there was trouble with their f-family as well.”

Kenny looked over to the two and nodded. “That’s…actually a nice offer. We kind of want to stay away for a bit, at least until they wake up and get sober a bit. I don’t want either of them to see them passed out drunk.”

Karen nodded sadly. “I really hate seeing them drunk. It’s not often, not like what it used to be, but it still brings back bad memories. And I’d like to see Ruby again! It’s been so long!”

Tweek smiled and held the door open for them. “Come o-on inside then!”

————————————

There was a knock on the back door a few minutes later and Tweek smiled as he let Craig, Ruby, and Clyde in.

Craig ruffled Tweek’s hair and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Met up with Clyde on the way. He’s alone at home so we invited him.”

“It’s f-fine Craig. Saw Butters, Kenny, and Karen w-walking home so I invited them t-too.”

Karen turned around from petting Streak and upon seeing Ruby, the two girls shrieked and ran up to each other, pulling each other in a vice-like grip that put Clyde’s bear hugs to shame.

The noirette smiled and looked around the room. “Glad I decided to bring Ruby then. Looks like all we’re missing is Token. Damn rich kid getting to go see the Broncos play. Hope he’s freezing his damn ass off.”

Clyde snorted as he spied the table Tweek set up with coffee shop food. “Token doesn’t have an ass TO freeze off, barring Nichole’s obsession with it. It’s not as pronounced as mine.”

Craig smirked as he pulled his jacket off. “Yeah, the only reason YOU have one is because you’re fat.”

The brunette pouted before he shoved part of a turkey croissant in his mouth. “I’m not fat! I’m squishy! And Cartman’s like twice as big as me!”

Kenny chuckled as he began opening the containers of “Chinese” food. “You know who has a nice ass? Kyle. Kyle has like the nicest ass I’ve ever seen, no offence Leo, you ARE the love of my life. But… That damn Jew ass is like the eighth wonder of the world. Stan and Wendy are so damn lucky to be able to touch it.”

Butters sighed and shook his head. “Don’t worry Ken. I’m in total agreement. Too bad he wears baggy pants. I’d love to see him in a pair of skinny jeans. And why don’t you just ask if you can touch it? I’m sure Stan and Wendy won’t mind.”

“And feel the wrath of Mega Bitch Wendy if she gets pissed I asked? Or feel the wrath of hellfire and brimstone rain down upon me from Stan if he feels the same way? He can still do that you know.”

Craig started pouring cups of tea from the giant pitcher on the table for everyone. “So… you want to talk about Kyle’s ass? You need to see Kyle’s naked ass when we’re in the locker room after basketball games then. You know how we’ve wondered for years WHY Kyle doesn’t have any freckles despite being ginger? They are ALL on his fucking ass. And you don’t know how many fucking times I’ve restrained from wanting to play connect the dots.”

Kenny’s eyes widened and he perked up. “Craig, I will give you fifty bucks if you can get me a shot of his perky freckled ass. If I can’t touch it, I can at least have a picture.”

Craig rolled his eyes. “Deal.”

Tweek raised his eyebrow. “That is l-like the gayest thing I’ve h-heard you say Craig and that’s including when you go off in h-hour long tangents about everything y-you love about my body.”

The noirette grinned at the blond. “Ah yes…including the fact YOU have the cutest star shaped birthmark on your left buttcheek.”

“GAH! Craig! D-Don’t tell them about that!”

Craig mock pouted and made a move to poke Tweek. “But it’s adorable. I want to poke it every time I see it.”

Tweek slapped Craig’s hand away, giving the teen an annoyed look. “Yeah, the only t-times you ever do is when you b-break into the fucking bathroom and st-stare at me like a pervert!”

“I’m admiring my man. I have the right to… Dick.”

Tweek grumbled as he shoved a muffin in Craig’s mouth. “No more t-talking from you. I’m m-mad at you, but I don’t w-want to yell at anyone else t-today.”

“So what happened anyway?”

Tweek sighed as he took a sip of tea. “J-Just the usual with my uncle’s f-family. Mom and Aunt Kathryn yelled at each other, so d-did dad and Uncle Robert, Bobby w-was being an ass as usual. I…just…c-couldn’t take the yelling anymore and y-yelled back, basically telling them t-to fucking get over what had h-happened. Ran into our room and n-nearly took an anxiety pill, but decided to come h-here instead.”

Craig smiled softly. “At least no one got punched. I punched Fucking Brian. HARD. He’s a homophobic piece of shit and say what you will about Thomas, but at least he might actively give a shit about Ruby’s well-being since there is NO way in hell I’m letting her go back with him. And Tweek? Don’t be mad…”

Tweek furrowed his eyebrows. “What d-did you do?”

The noirette chuckled nervously as he raised his clearly bruised hand in front of Tweek.

“Craig Riley Tucker.”

Craig honestly didn’t know how the hell Tweek moved so fast in grabbing his arm and began to manhandle his hurt hand as the blond squeezed and prodded his fingers while he glanced at him, possibly looking for signs of pain.

After several minutes, Tweek was done with the task and gently released the noirette’s hand. “Well, the good news is, you d-didn’t mess it up. No jammed f-fingers or anything. Just keep it iced up f-for the next few hours. We’ve g-got some bruise cream at home.”

“I’m surprised you’re not furious at me. I know Token, Kyle, and Cartman will be. Practice starts next week.”

“The b-bruises will be almost gone before your first p-practice. And I am…but I d-don’t want to yell anymore today. At least I g-got Bobby to respect me a bit. No one EVER talks b-back to Aunt Kathryn. I’m a bit scared to g-go home after this. She’s p-probably never gonna talk to me again.”

————————————

The teens didn’t realized how much time had passed as they ate their impromptu Thanksgiving meal and it was well into the evening when Tweek’s phone rang with the tone reserved for his mom.

Sighing, Tweek answered it, quiver in his voice apparent as he talked to the woman, his face giving off a variety of emotions before he ended the call.

The blond shook a bit after the phone call, prompting Craig to pull Tweek into a hug. “Everything okay?”

“D-Do you want the good or bad n-news first?”

Craig’s eyes grew wide. “Oh boy…Good?”

Tweek chuckled dryly. “Well…Uncle Robert’s family isn’t st-staying with us tonight. They’re getting a h-hotel room for tonight. But…I’ve got to p-put a Closed sign on the door here b-because we’re STILL doing Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow and…talk.”

Craig rolled his eyes. “Oh joy.”

“Th-That’s not all. Your mom is wanting t-to talk to you. I don’t know what a-about, but Ruby is actually st-staying with us tonight in my r-room, since Bobby’s not g-gonna be here to use it.” 

The girl in question lifted her head up at the mention of her name and Craig groaned. “Oh…THIS should be fun.”

Tweek looked at the clock on the back wall. “And j-judging from the fact it’s almost eight, maybe w-we should get home.”

————————————-

Craig took to carrying Tweek’s guitar for him as the blond carried Streak’s cage and the group said goodbye to Clyde when they got to the long street that harbored their houses. Craig, Tweek, and Ruby waved goodbye to Butters, Kenny, and Karen as they started to cross the street to get to the Tweak residence.

Tweek began to visibly relax as he saw his Uncle Robert’s car wasn’t parked at the house and the three walked in and were greeted by both Tweek’s and Craig’s moms.

The brunette woman smiled as she stood up. “Tweek dear, why don’t you go show Ruby your room where she’ll be sleeping in. Laura already brought her stuff over. I’ll be in the kitchen with Richard if you need us.”

Tweek nodded and motioned for Ruby to follow him upstairs.

Craig was left with his mom nervously smiling at him. The noirette really wanted to just leave the woman there and go up to his room to wait for Tweek, but his emotions nagged at him that his mom was actively trying to make an effort now. The weight of Tweek’s guitar wasn’t helping his train of thought either.

“Do you want to talk in my room? I need to put Tweek’s guitar up and it’ll give us a bit more privacy.”

“Sure Craig.”

The blonde haired woman followed Craig as he stormed up the stairs, momentarily peeking in Tweek’s room to tell the two teens what he was doing and led his mom into his room, closing the door.

Craig unzipped the guitar out of the bag and set the instrument in the stand and turned around to see his mom looking at the wall of pictures him and Tweek had started putting up a few weeks ago, chronicling the renewed friendship and relationship the two teens were in. He watched as she smiled softly, raising her fingers to a particular candid shot of him and Tweek both working that Kenny had secretly snapped with his camera phone one Monday.

“You have a beautiful smile Craig. You should smile more.”

The noirette closed his eyes and pushed the irritation he felt to the back of his mind. “I do mom. You should have seen the day after Tweek told me he loved me for the first time. I scared Mr. Mackey and almost made Clyde cry.”

His mom chuckled softly and looked Craig in the eyes before turning to look at the rest of the room, seeing the combination of both Craig’s and Tweek’s belongings. “You’ve made quite a life for yourself here. I’m…proud of you.”

She moved to sit on the edge of the bed, patting the blanket beside her. Craig sat next to the woman and began to fiddle with his jacket zipper as the two sat in silence.

“Maureen and Richard told me about what’s all happened in your life since you moved in here and I had talked to your fath- Thomas about his part in it. Craig…I…”

“It’s in the past mom. I’ve moved on and I’m in a much better place in my life than I’ve ever been. It’s fine.

The two sat in silence again as the noirette watched his mom wring her hands together.

“Craig.”

Craig turned to look at his mother. “Yeah?”

“No. Not… That’s your real father’s name. I named you Craig after him. We had my bachelorette party the night before the wedding and Sharon and Liane ended up finding this group of male strippers from…somewhere. I had told them I didn’t want them since I was getting married, but…then I saw him. Dark brown hair with a charming and addicting smile, bit on the stocky side, and so sweet and sensitive once we got to talking after…well…”

Craig watched as the blush crept up on his mom’s face as she remembered the man that was his real father. “He told me his name was Craig and…just those few hours with him really made me question why I was marrying Thomas. Craig made me feel important and loved and I honestly thought about just running off with him, but when I told him, he firmly told me no and that I would be better with Thomas. And I thought it would just be a one night stand…but nine months later, you were born and I knew that I had been caught.”

The woman sighed and gently grabbed Craig’s hand, squeezing it. “I told Thomas after he figured out you weren’t his and, while he was mad, still agreed that you needed a father in your life, regardless of you being his or not. I did try to find Craig, but it was like he never existed. The company the strippers came from disappeared about a week after the wedding and I’ve never heard anything from him. Craig…I meant to tell you, Thomas and I had talked about it…but…”

“It’s okay mom. Seriously, it is. At least I know my real dad is human and not one of the crazy beings that seem to migrate here. Thanks for telling me.”

His mom smiled at him before closing her eyes and sighing. “I didn’t know Brian was hurting Ruby like what he was doing. Thomas and Skeeter confronted him about it after he woke up. He threatened to get you in trouble for punching him but Skeeter threatened him that there were too many crazy people in this town he could give free beer at the bar to that would make sure he was never heard from again if he even TRIED to do that.”

“So…what’s gonna happen with that? If Ruby needs a place, I’m sure the Tweaks would let her stay here if you and Thomas gave them permission.”

The blonde woman chuckled and shook her head. “It’ll be okay Craig. Thomas and I are…we talked…and we’re going to see if we can work out our differences and get back together. But Ruby is definitely going to be staying in South Park. If she ever does need a place to go though…”

The noirette smiled. “I’m sure she’d be welcome anytime she needed it. Tweek hasn’t really slept in his room in a while, even before we got together. His bed’s too small for both of us since he twitches a lot still. It’s been dubbed Streak’s room by mo- Mrs. Tweak.”

“It’s okay Craig. Maureen told me that you call her mom. And hearing her gush about all you’ve been accomplishing makes me glad that you’ve found somewhere that you’re happy, that we haven’t messed you up completely. I’m glad she’s being the mother you’ve been needing.”

“You’ll always be my mom. No matter what all’s happened, you’ll always be that. I love you.”

“I love you too Craig.”

The woman stood up and began to flip Craig off, before her hand twitched and she ended up ruffling his hair instead. “Well…I’d better go. I’m staying in Ruby’s room at the house tonight, hence why Ruby’s staying here.”

Craig stood up and pulled his mom into a hug, noting how much taller he was than her, and felt his eyes tear up. After a few seconds, the woman returned the hug, squeezing the teenager as hard as she could.

————————————-

“N-Now if you hear singing in the middle of the n-night, it’s the damn Underpants Gnomes trying to steal u-underwear. Craig’s threatened them a f-few times and they should really know not to come back. I mean he f-freaking stabbed two last time, but-”

“Tweek, can I talk to you about something important?”

Tweek saw the sincere look in the redhead girl’s face and nodded. He sat down on the bed and Ruby took a seat next to him.

“Thank you Tweek.”

“Wh-What for?”

Ruby turned to look at the blond and smiled. “For making Craig happy. I mean…I know I give him so much shit about everything in our Skype calls, but I I’ve been able to tell the change in him since he moved here. I honestly just feel the love radiating off him and I like this Craig much better than the one I left here when mom and I moved to North Park. I’m happy you’re in his life Tweek.”

Tweek looked down, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. “I haven’t r-really made that much of a change, h-have I?”

“You have Tweek. Don’t sell yourself short on this, okay? He usually reserved all his emotions for Streak, but every time he got into calls with me, he would just talk non-stop about you, about how perfect you were, even before you two started dating. I mean…he freaking hugged me when he saw me for the first time today. Normally he’d just flip me off like I did to him, but nope. Just swept me up in this huge hug. He’s a real good hugger.”

“H-He’s a giant cuddler too. Sometimes I swear you’d have t-to get a crowbar to separate me from him in th-the mornings when he’s in that mood. I think h-he’s been getting tips from Clyde.”

Ruby giggled and put her hand on Tweek’s shoulder. “Seriously though, Tweek. You have been the best influence on Craig. It’s definitely been what he’s needed. Thank you.”

“I…Thank you Ruby. F-For saying all that.”

————————————————

Ruby left to go home an hour before Tweek’s family got there, giving Tweek and Craig time to begin pulling out and start heating up the food while Tweek’s parents began setting the table and cleaning up.

The house was tense as Robert’s family got there, like it had been the day before, only Bobby was more friendlier toward Tweek than he had been previously, helping the two teens bring out the food from the kitchen and making idle talk with the two while the adults sat in the living room in silence.

The silence from the adults continued on into dinner, as the only sounds were eating and Tweek, Craig, and Bobby talking about a computer game the three all played. Their talk offshot the glances the three gave the four older people and each other.

The four retired back to the living room as the teens cleaned up the remnants of dinner and put the leftovers away.

“Th-They’re gonna have to talk eventually. That’s wh-why we’re doing this today!”

Bobby nodded as he handed Craig the dried off plates to put back in the cabinets. “Mom actually was fucking convinced your “little outburst” yesterday was the result of “the meth problem” again. And she thinks Craig is a “delinquent” and was convinced she was going to change your mom and dad’s minds about him staying here.”

Craig chuckled. “If only she knew I punched out my mom’s possible ex-boyfriend yesterday. I’m a horrible bad influence on “poor little Richie” here.”

Tweek glared at the noirette and flipped him off before plunging his hands back in the sink. “You’re pushing it wh-when you call me Dick. Call me Richie a-again and I’m rubbing my cold feet all o-over you tonight. I’ll drool on y-you too. And you would o-only be a bad influence if y-you had actually punched him right. Instead, you h-had to fuck up your hand.”

“You’re STILL mad about that?”

“Yes! I taught y-you better Craig!”

————————————————-

The four adults were still not talking as the teens got through in the kitchen and made their way to the living room. Robert and Richard were glaring at each other while Kathryn and Maureen looked like they were seconds from ripping each other’s hair out.

Tweek rubbed his eyes and looked at the two sets of parents. “I thought y-you were all going to talk? That’s th-the reason we’re doing this today.”

Richard narrowed his eyes at his brother. “There’s nothing TO say if you ask me. Especially since HIS wife can’t get it through her head that you had every right to yell at us and it WASN’T a result of “the meth problem” that both of them keep bringing up!”

Kathryn huffed and folded her arms. “Well, had you two NOT messed Richie up, he would have NEVER even had his little tantrum yesterday.”

Tweek groaned and rubbed his forehead. “Can you four s-stop acting like five year old children? Seriously, this is f-fucking ridiculous.”

Kathryn glared at the teen. “Excuse me young man! We do NOT tolerate that kind of language! Bobby NEVER uses that kind of language! I was right in you hanging out with bad influences.”

“Aunt Kathryn, I’ve b-been cussing like that s-since I was eight. And that’s besides th-the point. You guys s-seriously need to talk to each other. You need to put all th-this bullshit in the past, like I have. It’s n-not good to keep bringing up the p-past or you’ll never heal to move on. I know you guys are m-mad at each other, but just…let it go. Please?”

Robert scoffed and looked at the blond teen. “We just can’t Richie. What Richard and Maureen did was-”

“I already told y-you that yes it was messed up. They regret wh-what they did, and they spent years to f-fix what happened. They l-learned from their mistakes, just like I’ve l-learned to move on from wh-what happened to me. My outburst yesterday w-wasn’t the result of anything except for the fr-frustration you guys have put m-me through year after year with this. I know nothing can really f-fix what happened, but Uncle Robert, Aunt Kathryn, you two are the ones that k-keep bringing it all up. All I want is to m-move on from that part of my life. I d-don’t want to keep being reminded o-of it. I’m already reminded e-every day when I take my p-pills and every time I g-get nightmares and have my now r-rare anxiety attacks.”

Bobby put his hand on Tweek’s shoulder. “And honestly, from hearing Richie yesterday, I can see the stress you HAVE been putting on him with this. And I regret trying to set him off all these years when we’ve really should have been acting like family. I agree with Richie, both of you need to stop. I don’t want to see all of you keep fighting.”

Robert sighed. “It’s not that easy.”

“Y-Yes it is. Just let it go. B-Because as much as I love both of you, I’ve b-been told several time in therapy, th-that I need to stay away from negative influences to help m-my healing process. You k-keep bringing up that negativity, so…if you c-can’t learn to let it go…I d-don’t want you in my life at this time.

Kathryn’s eyes grew wide. “Richie! You don’t mean that! We’re family!”

Tweek sighed and shook his head. “I st-still love you both, but I AM b-being completely serious. What happened y-yesterday shouldn’t have happened. I’m trying to r-reduce my stress, not escalate it, and it was the result of all of you f-fighting. If you guys c-can’t get along, then I sh-shouldn’t be around you.”

Tweek waited for one of the adults to start talking, but after a few minutes of silence, the blond sighed. “I’m going upstairs. I hope y-you all decide something soon.”

——————————————-

“Well, THAT went well. At least Bobby’s cool now.”

Tweek smiled softly as he curled up against Craig, using his foot to move Craig’s leg on top of his. “W-We usually don’t see each other a-at Christmas, but I’m h-hoping it’s a start. I’m r-really hoping my uncle and aunt learn fr-from what I said. Bobby’s gonna t-try to remind them to move p-past it too.”

Craig hummed and cuddled against the blond. “Well, we survived Thanksgiving at least.”

“Y-Yes we did. Now you have t-to survive not getting m-murdered by Kyle, Stan, and Wendy. I still c-can’t believe you said yes to Kenny.”

The noirette buried his face in Tweek’s hair. “It’s money and it’s Kyle’s ass. Seriously, once you see it, you’ll agree with Kenny and Butters. It’s amazing.”

Tweek chuckled. “And you t-told me you didn’t know wh-what you identified as before falling for me. It w-was obvious.”

“Hey, don’t underestimate Kyle’s ass. I’ve even caught TOKEN stare at his butt and Token’s as straight as they come. And don’t get me started on Cartman.”

“C-Cartman’s bi. And he’s h-had this obsession with everything Kyle ever since I can r-remember. Of course HE would like Kyle’s butt. I REALLY n-need to see this “perfect ass” of Kyle Broflovski. Make s-sure I see it before Kenny gets it…or before one o-of them kills you.

Craig began to nuzzle Tweek as an answer.

Chapter Text

“Tweek, remind me to clear my search history after I’m done with my laptop. Clyde’s convinced I’m either trying to cheat on you or get you a stripper for Christmas.”

Tweek raised an eyebrow and looked at Craig. “And just wh-why are you letting Clyde use your laptop?”

Craig rolled his eyes as he continued typing. “Well…I WAS trying to be nice and let him use it so he could buy his Secret Santa gift online before he ultimately found the perfect gift for Stan here, but then he had to get nosy. I’m surprised you didn’t question me on why I’m looking up strippers.”

The blond shook his head and chuckled. “Unlike s-some people, I know the reason wh-why. Although…if you want a stripper…”

The teen slightly pulled up his t-shirt, revealing his pale stomach. “L-Like what you see?”

“I recall only a few weeks ago when you were calling me a pervert for spying on you in the shower. You’re either getting more comfortable in our relationship or you’re high on cough syrup again.”

“I’m n-not the one that thinks he’s a cat and tries t-to lick people when I take a dose of Ny-Quil.”

Craig groaned and threw one of the pillows he was propping himself up with at Tweek. “One time! That was ONE time! And we wouldn’t have even got sick anyway if we hadn’t had been dragged to the North Pole by Stan’s group to convince Santa to still give out presents because he got butthurt someone called him out on his discrimination.”

“As m-much as I do hate to say it…but Cartman DID have a point. Santa DOES discriminate against a l-lot of kids based on religion and how they’re r-raised. He is pretty bias. I mean, Kyle doesn’t g-get anything and he gives Token FAR more presents th-than he does Kenny.”

“All the fuck nugget wanted was to get more presents and he almost ruined Christmas for everyone…AGAIN.”

Tweek grinned. “Wouldn’t b-be a South Park Christmas without that h-happening, now would it?”

“Don’t fucking remind me how fucked up our town is. I swear, Kenny and Butters have the right fucking idea to get out of here as soon as they can. I can NOT wait for graduation so we can get out of this Podunk town.”

“We’d just have to c-come back every so often for holidays though.”

“Uggggggggh.”

Tweek giggled as he looked over to the small hot pink Christmas tree on the dresser that Ruby insisted on the two having in their room and the small collection of wrapped presents behind it. “So, we still on f-for having our Secret Santa exchange at th-the shop Thursday?”

Craig nodded as he closed his laptop and set it down on the nightstand. “Kenny told me that he’ll be a bit late since he’s got a “date” with Emily and to stock up the first aid kit since he’s not sure what Jason’s gonna do.”

“I c-can’t believe Kenny’s still doing that and that no one’s e-even suspected that Kenny actually loves Butters. Unless our entire school actually kn-knows and they’re just doing this to help th-them out. Speaking of Butters, wh-what did you ultimately decide to get h-him?”

Craig smirked as he shifted over to nuzzle against Tweek. “Well, asked Kenny what scents Butters likes and I got him bath bombs from Lush since he likes to pamper himself on Saturday with a relaxing bath. Kenny got VERY detailed. And painted him a picture of two yellow bunnies cuddling in a field. What you get Cartman?”

“A K-Cup v-variety pack, a mug with a poop e-emoji on it with “Does your butt get jealous of all the crap that comes out of your mouth?”, and one free drink a-at the shop.”

“Damn anal coffee drinkers…”

Tweek chuckled as he relaxed on Craig’s chest, letting the noirette’s gentle touches in his hair lull him into a serene state. “So…any l-luck on the dad search or is it still a bunch of d-dead ends?”

Craig rubbed at his eyes, trying to keep them open. “I’m really beginning to think he used a fake name or this was just a one time thing the guy did as a dare or something. All the Craigs I’ve found have either been too young, way too old, or don’t have the same characteristics mom described. Topped with the fact that it was nearly twenty years ago, it might be impossible to find him. I mean I know it’s only been a few weeks since I started doing this, but if mom couldn’t find him after I was born, then what are MY chances to find the dude? And shit, he might have a damn family and I am NOT going to be a damn homewrecker for a mistake he made in his past.”

Tweek frowned as he played with the material of Craig’s sleep shirt. “You’re n-not a mistake Craig.”

The noirette smiled softly as he reached over and turned the lamp off, plunging the room in near darkness. “Bad choice of words I made there, but thank you Tweek.”

——————————————–

Because of the influx of people last minute holiday shopping, Tweek and Craig weren’t able to close the coffee shop at eight like they normally did on Thursday night, but with everyone’s help, fueled by the hot chocolates Token had bought everyone, it didn’t take long for the group to close down the shop and get the back room ready for their holiday party.

True to his word, Kenny knocked on the back door sporting a black eye and grinned even as Butters punched him in a noticeable bruise once the teen took off his parka.

The teens sat around and ate on the chicken nugget and sub sandwich platters Kyle had bought as well at the various desserts Tweek had been baking for the past week as they talked about their various holiday plans.

“Now Kyle, seriously dude, if Santa DOESN’T give you at least one present, you fucking call me! Or if it’s socks! Call me if he gives you a shit present like that!”

Kyle groaned and rubbed his eyes. “Cartman, it’s fine. I don’t care if I get a present from Santa OR if it’s socks. I’ve never got a present from him before, so it’s fine. And socks are practical and I actually need some.”

Cartman rolled his eyes. “That is just your Jew mind talking right there! Embrace Christmas Kyle! Embrace it!”

“Fine. Cartman, I will call you Christmas morning to tell you if Santa brought me a present or not.”

“Not before seven thirty though. I’m getting up at seven but my coffee won’t wake me up until then.”

Kyle groaned. “Okay! Speaking of presents, let’s get to why we’re really all here. Who wants to go first?”

Kenny raised his hand and pulled out a simple wrapped package and handed it to Craig. “Now one of the things is actually for Streak.”

The noirette unwrapped the package and grinned widely as he pulled out the Red Racer shirt he had spied at the mall a few weeks ago. “I can’t wait to wear it!”

There was also a package of vine balls for Streak and a package of glow in the dark stars which made Tweek groan, and a voucher for dinner for two at City Wok.

Kenny smirked. “Don’t worry about getting shitty food. Mr. Kim has promised me that he’ll make you two fresh when you come in.”

Craig stood up to grab Butters’s present. “Here Butters. Made sure to not get any that could stain your bathtub.”

The blond’s eyes lit up as he unwrapped the giant scarf full of bath bombs. “Oh Craig! Thank you! I can’t wait to use these.”

Both Butters and Kenny smirked at the picture Craig drew. “If only my parents knew about the actual meaning of this. They’ll just think it’s a cute painting.”

Craig chuckled. “That was the intent. It would be even more hilarious if they decided to take it and hang it somewhere where it’s in display of everybody.”

Butters smiled and handed Tweek a giftbag that had two guitar books and a pair of green and yellow fingerless gloves the blond had knitted himself. “I know you hate your fingers covered, but that doesn’t mean the rest of your hands have to suffer the cold.”

Tweek smiled happily as he put the gloves on and reached over to hand Cartman his present.

The large teen snorted as he saw the coffee mug. “This reminds me of the time I pooped out of my mouth! Remember that?”

The group collectively groaned and Tweek chuckled. “That’s wh-what I thought of when I saw it. It was either that one o-or the “Coffee makes me poop” one, b-but that one suits you more.”

Cartman grinned and looked at the piece of paper in the mug. “Now…I have a question. Does this free drink include or not include your spit?”

“I d-don’t fucking spit in your coffee!”

Cartman handed a wrapped box to Clyde and the teen squeed as he saw the Colorado Avalanche jersey and hugged the material.

“There’s another thing in there Clyde. Read the piece of paper.”

Clyde looked at Cartman incredulously, but humored the teen and grabbed the folded piece of paper and read it silently, shaking his head and laughing. The brunette cleared his throat. “I, Eric Theodore Cartman, hereby un-banish Clyde Donovan from space and time.”

Clyde chuckled at the note as he grabbed the shoe box holding Stan’s present. “Sorry I didn’t have anything else.”

Stan took the box from Clyde. “It’s fine dude. It’s… one white boot… Just a single…boot.”

Clyde snorted as he saw the expression on Stan’s face as he saw the present. “Turn it over Stan. I told you I’m sorry I didn’t have anything else, but I panicked.”

The black haired teen pulled the medium length boot out of the box and turned it over, making inhuman screeching noises. “How the hell did you get John Elway’s autograph for me!?”

Clyde started laughing. “He came into the shoe store while I was helping dad clean out all of last season’s shoes to make room for more winter boots about a week ago. I didn’t have anything else for him to sign, so I grabbed the only thing that I could think of that had a lot of room for him to personalize it.”

Stan walked over to Clyde in a few seconds and pulled the teen into a hug. “Thank you so much! It’s a good thing this isn’t in Wendy’s size or she’d probably steal it from me.”

“You’re welcome Stan.”

Stan then handed the bag that had Token’s present in it to the black teen. “I had a bit of help from Kyle with this.”

Token took out the Denver Nuggets jersey and hat and smiled at Stan. “Thanks dude! And Kyle, thank you too for helping Stan. Here’s your present.”

Token handed Kyle his present and the redhead gratefully looked at the gift. “Dude! Token! These are…dude!”

Kyle pulled out the knee pads that were in the bag and the rest of the group could obviously tell they were pretty high quality judging from the knees had extra cushioning and the extra material on the top and bottom would keep the pads on the knees.

“Don’t think I didn’t see that slight limp you had after our last game Broflovski. Craig and Cartman saw it too. You’re supposed to let us know that your shit knees are bothering you. That was the rule.”

Kyle rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Yes Mama Token.”

The group laughed as Kyle handed Kenny the bag containing his present. Inside was a nice pair of gloves and a package of thermal socks and another wrapped package that looked like a book. “Sorry for the lame “Jew presents” like Cartman would call them, but I had to get you something besides your real present.”

Kenny raised his eyebrow as he grabbed the wrapped present and was about to open it, when Kyle stopped him. “That’s last because before you open it…ugh… I can’t believe I’m doing this!”

Kyle stood up and stood in front of Kenny, before turning around and dropping his pants. “Okay, my ass. You have a minute.”

“Kyle…dude! Really!?”

Kyle groaned as he tried to block out everyone’s chuckles. “Yes Kenny. I’m serious.”

The blond looked over to Butters. "Leo, you don't mind me doing this, do you? I mean I'm okay with-"

Butters glared at Kenny. "If you're not gonna do it, I'll do it myself." 

Kenny looked over to Stan. “You’re not going to be mad? Or Wendy? I don’t want to die for touching the majesty that is Kyle’s ass.”

Stan shook his head. “You’re not going to die. Now hurry up before Kyle turns as red as his hair.”

Kenny gleefully smiled as he gently massaged the freckled butt in front of him, Kyle slowly getting redder. After the minute, Kyle pulled his pants up and sat back down. “Okay, Stan. I hope you were taking notes because THAT’S how I want you and Wendy to handle the gloriousness that is my butt. STOP grabbing it so rough and instead make love to it. And Kenny, now you can open the other thing.”

“That was totally enough though, but I don’t…”

Kenny’s eyes grew wide as he unwrapped what ended up being a photo frame…with a nice centered shot of the particular butt he had just groped. He turned to Kyle. “Is…is this okay for me to have? I mean touching is one thing, but actually having an official picture that isn’t a hastily shot in the locker room one is another.”

Kyle shook his head. “Who do you think ended up taking that picture? Wendy made sure it was perfect. I had makeup on my ass for that picture Kenneth. Makeup. I had to lay on my bed with my ass in the air for thirty minutes until Wendy deemed it perfect because I had a huge bruise from SOMEONE named Stanley Randall Marsh and she had to cover it up as best she could, hoping my parents or Ike wouldn’t walk in the house, JUST so we could get this picture. You better be fucking grateful.”

Kenny hugged the frame. “This is so going on the wall of mine and Leo’s future home. We can hang it next to the bunnies painting.”

———————————————–

Tweek and Craig were glad that the Tweaks decided to close the coffee shop on Christmas Eve since the two were going to have Christmas at the Tuckers, and would have left the Tweaks by themselves. Due to the number of holiday shoppers, all four had been super busy in the shop to the point that both parents and the teens were foregoing a bit of their sleep at night to stay later at the shop to stock the coffee bins and to bake to keep the pastries stocked. Tweek had decided to bake all the family desserts at the shop to save time as well.

The little used break room had been a lifesaver as it took less time to actually just lay on the couch and get a nap in than go home to do it.

Both parents, as well as Craig, had banned Tweek from the front of the shop and from taking and making any orders. Tweek had tried to complain, but his mom had explained that he knew the back room better than the three of them and could get them any items they ran out of quickly, he was better at keeping an eye on the oven and coffee bins, and he could calm Streak down easier if she got upset her family wasn’t paying enough attention to her since she had basically been there the entire week before Christmas like the rest of them had been.

——————————

Tweek stretched on the bed as he woke up, grateful that the migraine that tried to form the day before had finally ebbed away and he hoped that the caffeine from his coffee would take the final edge of it away.

Craig was already up and dressed, watching Streak as the guinea pig grabbed one of her vine balls with her teeth and throw it up in the air and hobble after it after it landed and rolled away.

The blond shifted to the edge of the bed and chuckled. “Who knew our d-darling daughter would be just as great at basketball just like h-her dad?”

Craig looked up and smiled. “I’m just amazed she’s so excited about these things. The vine balls take place as the best present Kenny got me.”

“Even more th-than the Red Racer shirt? That’s impressive.”

“Anything that makes my little family happy will automatically make me happy. So…ready to face the craziness that is a Tucker Family Christmas? I promise it’ll be tamer than what happened at Thanksgiving. It’s just us, Ruby, mom, and Thomas.”

Tweek stretched again on the bed before sitting up. “I’m r-ready if you are.”

—————————————–

It was obvious there was still tension between Craig’s mom and Thomas, despite the two trying to make their marriage work again after finding out what a horrible person Brian had really been. Still, the two made sure that Craig and Tweek were very welcome in the home, Thomas more so.

In the weeks since Thanksgiving, the man had begun to take an active stance in Ruby’s well-being and tried to take part in Craig’s, despite the teen really wishing the man wouldn’t. Thomas wanting to talk to Craig alone was one of the reasons Craig had, at first, not wanted to even come to celebrate Christmas at his former house, but Ruby had apparently been taking lessons from the Clyde Donovan School of Manipulating Craig Tucker Into Doing What You Want and had given him a scarily accurate impression of Clyde’s damn puppy dog look that Craig couldn’t resist.

As Tweek and Ruby helped Laura with putting up food and washing dishes, Thomas put his hand on Craig’s shoulder. “Can we talk Craig?”

Craig closed his eyes. “I don’t want to fight Thomas. I honestly don’t want to fight. It’s Christmas and I don’t want Tweek to hear yelling.”

“We won’t Craig. I promise.”

Thomas led Craig up the stairs and to his old room, that the man had transformed into an office/man cave for himself since Laura and Ruby had moved back in and Craig had declined the offer to move back in.

Craig looked around the room, taking in the fact that all the glow in the dark stars that had been up in his room were still there. “You never took the stars down?”

Thomas chuckled. “They make the room look neater at night.”

The man shut the door as Craig sat down on one of the chairs in the room. Thomas took a seat opposite the teen and looked down as he sighed. “Listen Craig…I’m sorry.”

“What?”

Thomas looked up and grimaced. “I’m sorry Craig. I’m sorry I did what I did to you. I’ve been thinking this entire time after Thanksgiving on how wrong I was to just disown you and kick you out. Laura was right. I made a commitment on raising you as my own, despite you not being mine. And I failed as a father. I know I can never take back what I said or did and the relationship we had won’t ever be the same, but I just… I was hoping it wasn’t too late to maybe start over?”

Craig shut his eyes as he clenched his fists, a million thoughts running through his head as he took in Thomas’s words to him. The noirette sighed. “I…lived under a bridge for two weeks because I let my damn pride for asking others for help prevented me from doing it. I would have died had it not been for Tweek finding me and his family nursing me back to health. In the months they’ve let me live there, I’ve learned about the true meaning of family. The love I’ve received from them has definitely changed me into a better person, someone that I enjoy being.”

Craig stood up and stared down at the red haired man. “The Craig that lived here would have never forgiven you and would have walked out that door from the moment you told him your first apology. But I’m not him anymore. It still hurts on what you did or said, but I’m going to take a page out of Tweek’s book and try my hardest to forgive you. I realize I did and said things I wasn’t proud of either, so I am going to apologize as well. I accept your apology and yes, I’d like to start over.”

“Thank you Craig.”

The man stood up and stuck his hand out for the noirette to shake. Craig shook his head as he smiled and wrapped his arms around Thomas as best he could.

“You’re welcome…dad.”

——————————————-

Craig was definitely glad he had forgiven Thomas as he began unwrapping the presents the man had actually bought him and was grateful Tweek convinced him to buy a Christmas present for the man.

Tweek had also received a sizable amount of gifts from the Tucker parents and Ruby, immediately putting on the toe socks covered in aliens the redhead girl had given him.

Craig had grinned at the gift and poked Tweek’s feet. “Good! With those on, you won’t put your cold ass feet on my bare legs.”

“It’s n-not my fault you wear shorts to bed. Wear p-pants like I do and I wouldn’t put my feet on your d-damn bare legs.”

—————————————————-

The teens left later that evening, arms laden with gifts, including a gift basket the Tuckers had bought for the Tweaks.

Tweek looked over to Craig, noticing the slight smile on the teen’s face. “That w-went well. You were right Craig. It was pretty t-tame. I noticed you started calling Thomas d-dad again.”

Craig nodded. “We apologized to each other as best we could and I forgave him for what happened. Kind of took a page out of your book with that. It still won’t make everything suddenly better, but it was a start.”

“So are y-you still going to see if you can find your r-real father?”

“I’m…not sure yet. I mean, if there’s a lead or something, then I want to see how far I get. But it’s not going to be a main priority like I tried making it the last few weeks. After the holiday break, basketball is gonna get busier, I need to start working on my art portfolio for colleges, we need to actually apply for colleges… Besides, I realized that no matter what had happened, Thomas HAD raised me all this time as his son, so he’s my real father in the long run.”

“Well…just telling y-you now that YOU’RE gonna be the one to break the n-news to Clyde that he has the father competition back.”

“Can we not tell him? I don’t want him crying on me.”

Chapter Text

Tweek’s family arrived later on that night, a few hours after Tweek and Craig got back from their Christmas at the Tucker residence. There was still a bit of obvious tension between the two sets of parents, but Bobby was excited to see the two teens, hugging the two up once he saw them.

“I honestly think I was the only one actually excited to come here during Christmas. Dad even wanted to figure out a way to work tomorrow just so we couldn’t come.”

Tweek stretched on the floor of his old room as he rolled one of Streak’s vine balls to her. “M-Mom made me and Craig actually buy your parents their Christmas presents instead of buying them herself like sh-she normally does. She claimed she was busy, b-but yeah…didn’t buy it for a second.”

Craig rolled his eyes as he looked up from his new sketchbook. “And that was only the result of you actually asking if she was going to get them anything. I honestly think she wasn’t.”

The blond sighed. “I really d-don’t want a repeat of Thanksgiving and I don’t want to c-cut Uncle Robert and Aunt Kathryn out of my life, but… if it’s the same as l-last month, I just can’t do this again.”

Craig tapped his pencil on the paper below him. “Maybe ask Santa for a way to get them to get along? He DOES owe us a decent present after all for you making him that amazing hot chocolate.”

“Hmmm, true. I w-was gonna ask him for a new baking p-pan, but family getting along would be better in the long run. Can I have a p-piece of paper Craig?”

As Craig ripped a piece of sketch paper out, Bobby looked at the two incredulously. “Um…don’t tell me you two STILL believe in Santa? I mean…he’s…”

Craig turned his head to look at Tweek’s cousin as he handed Tweek the piece of paper. “Oh believe us when we say that fat fuck is real. Two weeks ago our friend Cartman called him out on him discriminating against people when he gave gifts and Santa got so butthurt and nearly stopped giving presents altogether. We had to fucking go to the North Pole to convince him to do it again. THAT wasn’t fun. Both of us got sick and our friend Kenny got eaten by Dasher and Blitzen. He’s better now.”

Bobby stared at the two wide-eyed as Tweek nodded. “J-Just be glad you only have to come to South Park for o-one day a year. This shit’s normal for u-us. Weirdness is just attracted to this town.”

Craig chuckled. “Don’t stay for too long though. Otherwise you’ll be dragged to Peru or the Middle East like me and Tweek did. I got laser eyes and this brat knows how to handle a bazooka.”

The blond rolled his eyes. “Yeah…THAT was f-fun and safe! Sure, let’s let the meth coffee addicted s-spaz kid handle a damn bazooka! Nothing bad w-will happen from that!”

“Richie, you know how to handle a bazooka!?”

Tweek nodded and sighed. “The b-bad thing about it is I REALLY want to believe a l-lot of what happened back when we were younger was me just h-hallucinating because of the meth, but it’s unfortunately not the c-case. This shit just fucking happens. It’s not as b-bad as it was back then, but it still happens.”

The blond went back to writing the letter to Santa, hoping something could be done about the now arguing adults downstairs.

—————————————

Tweek felt the chill of the air before he even set foot downstairs and kept close to Craig as the three teens walked downstairs early the next morning for breakfast. The adults were already eating silently as they sat down and Tweek poured himself a cup of coffee, fixing it the way he liked it.

The blond wasn’t much of a breakfast person, so while the others ate, Tweek walked into the living room to admire the tree him and Craig had somehow had time to put up and to pick up the remnants of the goodies he had left for Santa.

His letter was gone and in its place was just a small piece of paper with the words “2 pm” written on it. Tweek raised his eyebrow at the note, wondering what it meant, when there was a frantic knock on the door, that scared the teen slightly.

Tweek rushed to the door and hesitantly opened it, revealing a panting Cartman. The blond’s eyes widened at the crazed look the teen had in his eyes.

“C-Cartman…is everything okay?”

The large teen nodded and took a few deep breaths before looking at Tweek. “I need you guys to help me! Kyle just called and he’s trapped in his house! Apparently Santa decided to make up for years worth of non delivered presents.”

Tweek furrowed his eyebrows. “But wouldn’t that only b-be like thirty presents for Kyle and Ike?”

Cartman shook his head. “No dude. It’s not JUST Kyle and Ike. It’s their parents too! It’s like a hundred presents! And we’re not talking small here Tweek!”

The blond’s eyes widened as Cartman showed Tweek the picture of the Broflovski’s living room and the sea of presents trapping Kyle upstairs.

“We need to help Kyle sort them since he’s alone in the house. His parents and Ike are still in Denver and Stan went with his family to Boulder to see Shelley and Wendy went to Seattle with her family.”

Tweek looked down to his coffee and downed the rest in one gulp. “I’ll go get Craig. D-Do you mind if my cousin Bobby comes too? We can’t just leave h-him here. My parents and his are k-kind of at odds with each other.”

Cartman nodded. “I’m gonna go over there already. Kyle tossed me his house key to get in.”

Tweek rubbed his eyes as he walked back to the dining room. “Hey…so th-that was Cartman. He needs our help unearthing Kyle from his house. Apparently Santa was REALLY generous in g-giving Kyle’s family what they were owed.”

Aunt Kathryn tutted. “Richie dear, Santa doesn’t exist. You’re eighteen and you should know this by now.”

It was entirely way too goddamn early in the morning for Tweek for his aunt to start her “mothering” on him, especially since he hadn’t had his third cup of coffee to officially wake him up.

“Oh, excuse me Aunt Kathryn. It m-must be my meth addled brain playing tricks on me again and m-making me believe he exists. And I guess Craig and I going to th-the North Pole two weeks ago to talk to this imaginary man must have been a REALLY good hallucination to affect Craig a-as well. Anyway, Craig, Bobby, come on you two. We actually d-do need to help dig Kyle out of like a hundred “imaginary” presents.”

The blond grabbed the pot of coffee that was on the table and poured him a generous cup before downing the liquid without his usual cream and sugar. His eye twitched for a second like it used to in elementary as Tweek slammed his mug down and turned around to walk out of the house, Craig and Bobby quickly getting up to join him.

——————————————

It hadn’t taken very long for the five teens to make a plan to free Kyle’s living room from the sea of presents. Tweek climbed the rope ladder to Kyle’s room and stationed himself at the bottom of the stairs, grabbing the small presents Craig tossed to him and then tossing them to Kyle, who was positioned at the top of the stairs. Kyle would gather as many as he could to deposit in the bedroom of who they went to.

Cartman and Bobby were tasked to take care of the larger presents and move them where they would be out of the way, which they decided would be the dining room.

It was close to ten when the teens were done and Kyle smiled serenely as he laid his feet on the coffee table, sipping the honey infused tea Tweek had made him. “Thanks guys. I don’t know what I would have done if my parents came home and our living room was still covered in presents. I honestly didn’t know he’d go THAT far though.”

Cartman typed on his phone before putting it on the armrest. “Santa did it to Kenny too. Gave them all a few extra presents. Butters was over to help unwrap though, that’s why they weren’t over to help.”

Kyle closed his eyes and hummed. “It’s fine. I’m just glad it’s done. So, what did you guys get from him?”

Cartman rattled of a list of things he had got from Santa before he turned to Tweek. “So that was what I got. What about you guys?”

Craig glared and smiled at the large teen. “We don’t know yet. Some fuck nugget decided to drag us from our house before we could see.”

Tweek furrowed his eyebrows. “Well…I s-saw one of them. It was just a piece of paper w-with “2 pm” on it that replaced where I set my letter to him at. I d-don’t know what it meant though.”

Bobby shook his head. “I still can’t believe Santa is actually real. I mean, I haven’t got presents from him since I was eight. How the hell do you guys still get them?”

Cartman shrugged. “Eh, I think it’s a South Park thing. I think whoever makes the effort to still write him a letter gets presents here, kid or not. That, and we kind of saved all the imaginary characters in the world from total destruction, so they owe us favors.”

Kyle rolled his eyes. “That was actually Butters that saved Imaginationland. YOU were the one deadset on making me sucking your balls the entire fucking time fatass.”

The large teen smiled. “Oh yeah…that was fun.”

Craig shook his head and checked his phone. “Well, as much as I want to reminisce about the past, I think we need to go back so Tweek and Bobby’s parents don’t murder each other. We’ve got to help get Christmas dinner set up and actually open our Christmas presents. You staying here Cartman?”

The teen nodded. “Mom’s not home and Butters is over at Kenny’s, so I’m bored. Besides, it’s been a while since Kyle and I hung out where we haven’t been at each other’s throats or trying to kill or humiliate each other.”

The redhead smiled.“And dad pulled all that paperwork out that you wanted to see as well if you wanted to look at it while you were here.”

Craig raised an eyebrow. “Paperwork?”

Cartman chuckled. “I was thinking about what I wanted to go to college for if I decided to go. I might want to go into law, become a lawyer. I asked Kyle to ask his dad if he could help.”

Craig chuckled as he shook his head. “Eric Cartman as a lawyer. That’ll be something to see one day. The odds of that are as good as me finding my real dad.”

“Ey! Fuck you Tucker!”

“Fuck you back Fuck Nugget!”

Tweek sighed as he stood up, holding up his hands at the two teens. “Guys…stop. It’s Christmas.”

Craig sighed. “Okay Tweek. But yeah, we really should get back. Have a good day guys.”

—————————————–

Christmas dinner was just as eventful as Thanksgiving’s dinner, with the adults not talking while Tweek, Craig, and Bobby tried to fill the silence with talking about anything. The teens quickly put the food away and made their way to the living room to pass out presents.

Tweek tried to not let his annoyance show as he unwrapped his presents from his uncle and aunt, silently giving Craig a signal that the noirette was probably going to end up getting the packs of construction paper, paints, and colored pencils. He saw Craig give him the same signal as the teen held up the Beatles shirt the two had given him.

The presents from his parents fared better since the two knew his interests. And Craig’s had been real thoughtful and amazing, especially the painting Craig had done of both of their interests. Tweek wondered how the heck Craig had made time to paint his painting, as well as the one he gave Butters, and the serene cafe scene his parents wanted to hang in the shop.

Craig got a fair share of presents from Tweek’s parents as well as Tweek himself, including one that Tweek needed to give to Craig while they were alone. Craig also got more cage pieces to expand Streak’s cages in both rooms as well as treats and toys.

—————————

Everything had been put up in their room and the three teens were hanging out in Tweek’s old room while the adults were in the living room, refusing to talk to each other. Tweek was messing around with his guitar while Craig was cutting out shapes with the construction paper, when they heard Tweek’s mom shout from downstairs.

The three looked at each other before jumping up and rushing downstairs to see Tweek’s mom holding the door open, her face as well as the other three adults faces in shock.

Jesus was in the doorway.

Jesus.

Jesus Christ.

THE Jesus Christ.

The Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

In the Tweak’s doorway.

Jesus looked at the brunette woman and smiled. “May I come in my child?”

All Tweek’s mom could do was nod and the man came in the house.

He clapped his hands once. “Alright my children, Santa told me that we’ve got a problem with people not wanting to forgive others for past mistakes and since I owed him a favor, I’m here to solve it. But, I don’t have very much time since it IS my birthday and The Super Best Friends are throwing me this awesome party and I am NOT missing [REDACTED]’s twenty layer dip he makes because Buddha’s a greedy fuck and will eat all of it.”

Kathryn shook her head as she pointed to the man. “You’re…you’re Jesus!”

Jesus smiled at the woman. “Yes I am, my child.”

“But…but you’re… You’re real!?”

“Yes, my child.”

“H-How!? How are you here!? WHY are you here!?”

Jesus rubbed at his forehead. “Look my child, I got a call from Santa last night, telling me that a boy that he owed a favor to, asked him for that favor. That favor was to get his parents and his uncle and aunt to forgive each other for something that happened to his family years ago. Since I owe Santa a favor, he called his favor to grant this boy’s favor. So that’s why I’m here, got it?”

The woman nodded slowly, eyes still wide.

Jesus smiled and nodded before looking up at the stairs. “So, one of you is Tweek, right?”

Tweek slowly raised his hand and the man smiled. “Santa told me about some amazing hot chocolate you made him. Do you think I could sample it as well?”

“Wh-What’s your favorite flavor?”

“Hmmm, can you do hazelnut?”

Tweek nodded as he came down the rest of the way, Craig and Bobby close behind. “I’ll go…make that f-for you Jesus.”

“Thank you my child. Now…as for the rest of you…”

——————————————

By the time Tweek came out with the Lord’s hot chocolate in one of the shop’s to-go cups that Tweek stored in the kitchen if he was washing out his permanent coffee thermoses, the four adults were crying and hugging each other, forgiving each other for going so long with the feud they had.

Jesus had his arms folded, smiling. “My work here is done. You all have a Merry Christmas.”

Tweek handed the man the hot chocolate. “H-Here Jesus. Happy Birthday!”

Jesus smiled as he took the cup out of the teen’s hands and took a sip. “Oh my dad! This IS delicious! My child, this gift shouldn’t go to waste. You ARE going to do something with these amazing skills, right?”

The blond scratched at his hair. “I…I’m going into c-culinary school and business management so I can t-take over our coffee shop and maybe expand it.”

Jesus placed his hand on the teen’s head and winked. “That’s a good plan my child. You will get there.”

The man began walking to the door. “Now my children, remember what I said about forgiveness! Bless you all!”

Robert and Kathryn stood up and took turns hugging Tweek, telling him how sorry they were for holding on to the past of what had happened for so long and how proud of him they were.

Tweek hugged them back, telling them that he forgave them, hoping they’d let him go pretty soon. As much as he enjoyed the hugs, the entire day so far had been pretty tiring and he was ready for a nap.

—————————————–

Robert and his family left about an hour later, the two families promising to keep more in touch and both Tweek and Craig decided to lay down for a well deserved nap.

Craig ran his fingers through Tweek’s wild mass of hair to lull the blond into sleep. “Tweek, what was the other present you were going to give me?”

Tweek hummed. “Later, after we’ve r-rested. I can’t believe it only took me a week to memorize it, but I learned Panic’s Always s-song to sing and play for you. I kind of fell in love with that song when I heard Ruby play it a f-few weeks ago.”

Craig shook his head as he chuckled. “I do believe that was deliberate. Clyde confessed to me that he recruited her in the Creek shipping fanclub, so she’s upping her efforts to get us to do cute couple things like he’s been doing. And I think after this Christmas, you’re definitely officially family. Ruby got you a present you liked. She actually took the time to find a present you’d enjoy.”

Tweek smiled. “I don’t m-mind if they do or not. It’s actually nice doing couple things w-with you.”

“Hmm, well in that case, we should definitely use Kenny’s City Wok voucher soon. Just us though, on a date. I don’t think we’ve actually gone on one yet, at least not by ourselves. It’s been kind of hectic since we started dating.”

“That s-sounds nice. How about next Wednesday? That way, we m-miss the New Year’s crowd.”

“Sounds like a plan Tweek.”

Chapter Text

“Token! You have to help me!”

The black teen blinked as he saw the frantic Craig Tucker in the doorway of his house. “Hey Token! How are you doing dude? Have a good Christmas?”

Craig rolled his eyes and flipped the teen off. “Hey Token. How are you doing dude? Have a good Christmas? NOW will you help me?”

Token shook his head as he chuckled. “Something big must of happened for YOU to lose your cool. Did you accidentally drink that Death Wish the Tweaks sell?”

The noirette growled as he glared at Token. “No, I didn’t drink the Death Wish. I have a date with Tweek tonight! It’s our first one since we got together.”

“Dude! Congrats! It’s about time you finally took him out! Where are you guys going?”

“It’s just City Wok to use that voucher Kenny gave us, but that’s not the problem Token. I don’t have anything nice to wear! All I have are T-shirts and blue jeans and my shitty tennis shoes.”

Token raised his eyebrow. “Tweek’s not gonna care what you look like dude. He’s seen you in worse. And it’s just City Wok.”

Craig grabbed the ends of his chullo and began pulling as he paced Token’s doorstep. “Token! I don’t know why I care what I look like, but I do! And I know he doesn’t care, but I just want to look nice for one night! I just woke up today and that’s the only thing that’s in my mind, dress nice to impress Tweek. Isn’t the first date supposed to be as fancy as possible? Please let me borrow some clothes! I would have asked Clyde but he’s a bit stockier than me and they’d hang off me.”

Token sighed and moved out of the doorway to let the noirette in. “Come on then Craig. I suppose you want your hair fixed too?”

“Please?”

“You’re hopeless Tucker. You know that, right?”

——————————–

Tweek was fretting noisily around in his closet in his old room that he didn’t hear anyone walk in until he was touched gently on the shoulder.

“GAH!”

The blond quickly turned around, tripping on a box, and landed heavily on his butt. He looked up wide-eyed to see Ruby smirking as she shook her head.

“You ever think about trying decaf Tweek?”

Tweek shivered at the memory of the ONE time he had tried decaf, back when he was in rehab and the doctors were trying to regulate his pills and coffee intake. “That shit is gross Ruby. And h-how did you even get in here?”

The redhead chuckled and bent down to lightly punch Tweek on the head. “Your parents gave me a key dummy. Remember?”

“A lot h-has happened since then. So why are you h-here?”

Ruby held out her hand to help the blond up and pulled Tweek up before walking over and sitting on the bed. “Home was getting a bit hectic. Dad’s still used to living by himself and he forgets we’re there sometimes. So where’s my useless brother?”

“He w-went to Token’s for something, but said he’d meet me at City Wok for our d-date in like two hours. I’m trying to find something to wear, but nothing’s g-good enough.”

The girl’s eyes lit up and she smiled. “A date? Like an actual you guys are going on a romantic and not just friends hanging out date?”

Tweek nodded as he began to sift through his clothes. “Yeah. It’s kind of our f-first one where we’re not a big group hanging out and since we got together. It’s just us. And I k-know it’s just City Wok and it’s just Craig, but I…kind of want to dress up. Look nice and not like a h-half crazed mental patient.”

After a few more minutes of looking at the same boring clothes, Tweek sighed and sat next to Ruby, putting his head in his hands. “I have n-nothing nice to wear. It’s hopeless.”

Ruby stood up and shook her head. “It’s not hopeless Tweek. I saw a few things that might work. Trust me. I know more about fashion than you do, despite you being the gay one.”

Tweek lifted his head, raising an eyebrow. “Stereotyping much? I’m shit at m-matching my clothes. Craig even g-gave up about a week after him moving in on helping me even match m-my socks.”

Ruby chuckled as she rummaged in the closet. “Eh, that’s kind of a trend now to wear mismatched socks. Ooh, how about this?”

The girl held up a knit greyish green striped sweater which Tweek furrowed his eyebrows at. “Eh…I g-got that two years ago from Aunt Kathryn. It’s a bit itchy, so I never wear i-it.”

“So…you don’t really care about it too much?”

The blond shook his head and Ruby smiled as she went over to the desk in the room that Craig now used as his art space and grabbed the scissors. The girl sat down and began to slice the arms off, careful to keep the body of the sweater from unraveling. She pulled off the extra yarn and threw the sweater to Tweek before rummaging in the closet again, grabbing one of Tweek’s white button up work shirts.

“Tweek, it’s your lucky day! I’m gonna teach you about layering! And we have to do something about your hair too. Does Craig have any hair gel?”

——————————

To say Craig Tucker looked very overdressed in their small mountain hick town was an understatement. The noirette shuffled his feet in the shined black shoes he was wearing as he waited close to the City Wok restaurant, knowing full well that the outfit Token had dressed him in easily cost the teen more than what Craig spent on clothes in a year.

Black slacks, white button up shirt with a dark purplish blue tie, and a dark blue blazer completed the look. His hair still swept to one side, but Token had managed to actually make it look like it didn’t spent ninety percent of the time under his hat. It had taken all of his willpower to not put his beloved chullo on his head after walking out of Token’s house.

Craig inwardly groaned as a gust of cold Winter wind blew through the street and he wondered if he had just been stupid in wanting to dress up for Tweek. For starters, Tweek would probably just wear his normal clothes and, while the blond did have more of a professional look than Craig did, due to the fact the majority of his clothes were long sleeved button ups, he could picture the teen start to freak out for being under dressed.

The noirette looked at his phone, noting there was about twenty minutes before Tweek would get there. He could easily pop into the restaurant and change out of the clothes and into his normal clothes he had in his backpack and come out before the blond got there.

“C-Craig? Is that really you?”

Craig turned and all thoughts flew out of his head as he saw Tweek standing in front of him.

Shit.

Tweek was hot.

Seriously hot.

Like jaw dropping, heart pounding, you’ve died and gone to heaven and have seen the angels hot.

Craig was seriously glad that Tweek was already his boyfriend because at this point if he were dating anyone else, their ass would be dumped faster than Cartman could run after the ice cream truck. (which surprisingly was pretty fast as the ice cream man learned the hard way one summer when he was caught by the large teen as he drove down the highway doing sixty)

Tweek was wearing one of his white button ups with what looked like a greyish green sweater vest over it, his dark grey work pants and a pair of black boots Craig had seen tossed in the back of Tweek’s closet a few times.

What made Tweek pop out though wasn’t his outfit, even though the blond REALLY looked good in it with the way it hugged his body, but actually seeing Tweek’s face. The blond’s wild mass of hair was actually TAMED. It still stuck out, but the spikiness looked controlled and much of the hair that usually fell in Tweek’s face was held back with black and silver bobby pins.

And Tweek’s eyes. Just… Damn. Tweek’s eyes.

Tweek was wearing eyeliner, there was no doubt about that. Craig had almost forgotten about what Tweek had looked like with the dark bags under his eyes, but those had only made the teen look tired and older than he looked. The eyeliner made the blond just radiate attractiveness. Craig suddenly felt like he was the one under dressed.

“Tw-Tweek! Uh…damn dude. Shit…you look hot.”

The blond squeaked and Craig turned around to try to hide the growing blush on his face on his accidental admittance on his thoughts.

“Y-You look really hot yourself Craig! Oh god…”

Tweek squeaked again and Craig turned around to see the blond as red as he was. The two stared at each other for a minute, just taking in each other’s appearance.

“So…I g-guess this is why you went to Token’s?”

Craig nodded. “I know it’s just City Wok, but I kind of wanted something nice for our first official date…”

Tweek laughed nervously. “Um, that w-was my thought too. Ruby helped me put this t-together. She even did the impossible! I’m w-wearing matching socks!”

The blond pulled up his pants, revealing the pair of coffee cup socks Craig had got for Tweek for Christmas.

“Oh my god. I owe her so much for making that happen. You ready to go in?”

The blond nodded and Craig wrapped his arm around Tweek’s body, pulling him closer, as they walked into the restaurant.

———————————

“Damn! Well aren’t you guys all dressed up!”

Craig resisted the urge to flip Kenny off as he set their drinks down since the blond was working and he was trying to make the date go as smooth as possible. “Well… technically first date and all, you know?”

Kenny nodded as he smiled. “Ah, I remember mine and Leo’s first. Leo’s parents locked him in his room and forgot to let him out before they left for Denver for three days and I had to break him out. He called me his hero and kissed me and took me out to Bennigan’s the next day. Ah…memories. So…what are you guys hungry for?”

“What do you recommend Kenny?”

The blond smiled as he grabbed the menu from Craig’s hands and set it down on the table and began to point at a few things. “Well, any of the chicken dishes are pretty good and safe. The beef is a little iffy, especially if you don’t like spicy, and I’d stay away from the pork ones. That’s how I died that one time.”

Tweek pointed at one of the items. “I’ll h-have the teriyaki chicken with rice. And could you t-take the carrots off? I hate c-cooked carrots. They taste weird.”

Kenny nodded and wrote down Tweek’s order before turning his head toward Craig.

“I’ll have the sesame chicken with rice. That sounds good.”

Kenny smiled and wrote down Craig’s order. “Alright, and I’m adding some crab rangoons to that since they are amazing here. I’ll be back soon with your food.”

The blond teen sauntered off into the kitchen, leaving Craig and Tweek alone.

Craig looked over to Tweek, who was lightly touching one of the hair accessories keeping his bangs out of his eyes.

“I really meant what I said outside Tweek. You look really nice. So…how did you rope my little sister into helping you?”

Tweek put his hand down and chuckled nervously. “She k-kind of snuck up behind me and startled m-me while I was trying to find something to wear. Then she raided my closet, u-used most of your hair gel and her bobby pins on my hair, and nearly stabbed me in the eyes putting this eyeliner on! I don’t even know why she did it!”

Craig shook his head as he laughed. “Girls have this obsession with wanting guys to wear it for some reason. But…it actually compliments you well. That’s like the first thing I noticed about you when I saw you. You are seriously so hot right now.”

Tweek rolled his eyes. “I think you’ve s-said that several times already. So, how did YOU get Token t-to lend you that outfit? Please don’t t-tell me you’ve agreed to some back alley d-deal with him and a Russian drug cartel?”

“Tweek, one of these days I am going to figure out your thought process.”

The blond groaned. “It’s happened before w-with those guys. Anything c-can happen in this town.”

“True. Nah, Token just made me promise to not get it too messed up. He said he can deal if I got some sauce on any of the clothes but I had better not end up in Louisiana or somewhere fighting off hoards of zombies while wearing it. Also, he wants a picture of us since he needs to start filling his Creek album.”

“Ugh…don’t tell me that M-Mama Token has started that shit too.”

Craig chuckled as he pulled his phone out. “You know there will be a riot with all of our friends and our parents if JUST Kenny got to see both of us dressed up.”

————————-

Kenny came back a few minutes later with their food and was happy to take a few pictures of the couple with both of the teen’s phones, as well as his own.

After posting and tagging the pictures on their social media sites, the two began to eat, grateful that the food was fresher than normal.

Craig handed Kenny the voucher once the teen came back with their fortune cookies and the blond smirked as the two began to crack the cookies open. “Now remember the rule. You have to say “in bed” after your fortune. Makes it hilarious.”

Tweek read his silently and squirmed in his seat. “Um… You will d-discover your hidden talents…in bed.”

Kenny snorted and Craig chuckled as he read his silently and broke down. “Oh… Oh god! It’s too fucking perfect! Kenny, please tell me you rigged these!”

The blond shook his head. “Nah, they’re just the shitty bulk cookies. I just grabbed whatever from the case.”

Craig wiped his eyes as he read his out. “A close friend reveals a hidden talent…in bed.

The three teens were glad at the fact that the only other person in the restaurant was Mr. Kim because the three burst out into more laughter at Craig’s fortune.

“Okay you two! You definitely HAVE to frame those up with a picture of this date for your wall! That is TOO perfect!”

————————————

Craig and Tweek walked the streets of South Park after their date, making their way home. Craig had his arm around Tweek, trying to keep some of the cold away from the blond since Tweek had forgotten his coat as he hurried to the restaurant so he wouldn’t be late.

“Th-This was nice. I wouldn’t mind doing this more. J-Just the two of us…but not so dressy.”

Craig grinned. “So you’d totally be up for a three am McDonald’s date in our pajamas if we can’t sleep?”

“That sounds a-amazing actually. We are totally doing th-that!”

The noirette pulled Tweek closer. “So… next date is when it’s ass o’clock in the morning and it isn’t a school night and we’re craving some chicken nuggets. But not forty like Clyde got tricked into buying that one day. I still can’t believe he ate ALL of them though.”

“I’m not. It’s Clyde! If he c-can inhale like twelve Taco Bell tacos, he can easily eat forty chicken n-nuggets.”

Craig paused for a moment and he smiled. “Hey Tweek, I have a GREAT idea… I wonder who can eat forty nuggets faster, Clyde or Cartman?”

Tweek rolled his eyes. “Craig…that’s not a good idea. Remember wh-when Stan and those guys did that shit all the t-time? Bad things happened. Really bad th-things.”

“Tweek, you worry too much. It’s just Clyde and Cartman in an eating contest for JUST forty nuggets. What’s the worse that could happen?”

Chapter Text

“Six months! We have to wait six months before McDonald’s opens again! I’m gonna die!”

Craig rolled his eyes as he took a sip of tea. “Clyde, you’re not gonna die because we don’t have a McDonald’s.”

The brunette whined. “But six months Craig! We won’t have glorious chicken nuggets until at least JUNE! And by then, we’ll have graduated and slowly on our way to splitting up for college!”

The noirette growled as he tried ignoring the damn puppy dog look Clyde was giving him. “If you’ve got THAT bad of a fix, we can drive to Middle or North Park. They’re not that far.”

“But it’s not the same! Why did you convince me and Cartman to have that chicken nugget eating contest?! It’s your fault!”

Tweek punched Craig in the shoulder. “Clyde, I t-told him it was a bad idea! But he didn’t listen to me! This exact th-thing happened in a movie I watched once!”

Craig groaned as he looked at his upset boyfriend and best friend. “How the fuck was I supposed to know that the McDonald’s was built on an old chicken slaughtering plant and for reasons, the dead chicken spirits decided to enact revenge on people eating their brethren? I looked it up! The McDonald’s has been there for twenty years and the plant got demolished thirty years ago. They’ve fucking had thirty years to do this shit! If you ask me, they should have done it when the restaurant first opened!”

Token shook his head as he bit into one of the meringue cookies Tweek had brought. “Chickens are stupid and can’t tell time. And just be glad that Kenny didn’t die this time. It’s been too soon since he was eaten by an animal that wasn’t a rat. I didn’t want to have to put “death by chickens” on the Death List.”

Craig closed his eyes and shuddered. “Is it just me, or it just slightly unnerving that you have a Kenny Death List to begin with?”

Two hands fell on the noirette’s shoulders and Kenny appeared in his line of vision. “I’m not. It’s good to have it actually. After nearly eighteen years, it’s kind of hard to keep track of some of my deaths when some of them are the same thing over again.”

The blond grabbed a cookie and plopped down next to Tweek, moaning as the flavor hit his tongue when he bit into it. “Tweek! These are so fucking good! I can’t believe these are just egg whites and sugar!”

Tweek smiled. “And v-vanilla. I’m glad you guys like them. I was w-worried they wouldn’t turn out well. You s-sitting with us today?”

Kenny nodded as he finished off the cookie and grabbed another one. “Leo and the theater department are still trying to decide on a play to do for Spring, so they’ve been pouring through plays since we got back. They’ve got it narrowed down to three I think. Kyle’s helping Cartman look up good law colleges to apply for and Stan’s helping Wendy with something.”

Token tapped his fork on the table. “Speaking of colleges…I’m sure you guys took my advice and began to fill out applications during the holidays…right?”

Craig flipped the black teen off. “Yes Mama Token, we did. In fact, since Tweek and I want to major in a field that’s similar to each other, we found several arts colleges that feature the field of art I’m wanting to go in as well as culinary arts. And there are a few that have business management courses for Tweek and I to take.”

Token furrowed his eyebrows. “Wait…YOU’RE wanting to take them too? When did this come about?”

The noirette chuckled. “I really don’t know. I just woke one day and just thought that it would be a good idea to have something else to fall back on. Plus, since I’m committed to being with Tweek and his eventual business takeover of Tweak Bros., I can help out with the shop when he can’t be there.”

“Y-You make it sound like I’m evil.”

Craig ruffled Tweek’s hair. “You are. Seriously though, you’re going to make an excellent owner one day. Our future employees better like guinea pigs though, since I am so incorporating guinea pigs in the future redesign.”

Token looked over to Kenny and Clyde. “So, how about you two? What are you deciding on?”

Kenny scratched his head. “To be honest, I hadn’t really thought of it, considering I’m going wherever Leo is going. He has applied for some colleges outside the state, so I figured I’d just go straight into working while he’s in school. Although, if he ends up in that one college he likes in California, I might look into being a stuntman. Finally use this damn curse to my advantage, you know.”

Clyde swallowed his bite of food and grinned softly. “I kind of didn’t tell you guys, but the last game of the season, I got approached by scouts for Boulder. They’re losing one of their good Running Backs this year and were impressed with my performance. I just need to keep my grades up and I’ve got a full scholarship. As for what I actually want to do… I figure take the first year to take basic classes before figuring out what I want to do.”

Craig fistbumped the brunette. “Dude! That’s awesome! I’m glad you’re getting that opportunity!”

“Wh-What about you Token? You’ve been hounding us, but you haven’t t-told us what you’ve been wanting to do.”

Token sighed. “To be honest, I’d like to be a chemist, like my mom is. Mom’s let me go to her job several times over the years and it’s been interesting to me. To think, mixing all these chemicals to create life saving medicine to treat people. And Tweek… you’re the reason I decided to choose to go in my mom’s job instead of being a lawyer like dad.”

Tweek blinked. “M-Me?”

The teen nodded. “At the start of the year, I was definitely going to go in either mom or dad’s lines of work, I just needed the push between one or the other. Seeing all the pills you take and how frequently just wants me to find a way that people don’t have to take so many or boost their effectiveness so people don’t have to take them so often. I mean with that, there’s a chance of your body getting used to the medicine and it doesn’t work as well.”

Tweek nodded. “I had to st-stop taking one of the prescription sleep aids because of that s-same reason. My body adjusted to it too f-fast and even three of them wasn’t enough t-to knock me out. And there’s also the f-factor of getting addicted to the medicine due to the chemicals that make it u-up. That’s the risk with my anxiety medicine right now, especially b-because of… the thing.”

Craig frowned as he rubbed Tweek’s shoulder. “I’m just glad your last one wasn’t too bad since we WERE at the shop. That’s why we all banned you from the front. And that reminds me, I think one of the first things we need to do is update the break room. That couch is a vile thing that needs to be destroyed. It’s not comfortable in the slightest. And warm fuzzy blankets.”

The blond smiled softly. “I kind of w-wanted to convert part of it where you can shut out all the light in c-case of a bad migraine or have a safe dark place to calm d-down.”

Craig grinned. “Now see, THAT is a sign of a good owner. Taking consideration for your employees.”

———————————–

The doldrums of Winter and the monotonous days of school seemed to make the next few weeks drag on for the students of South Park High, especially the month of January. It always grew colder in that particular month and even in a town that was nearly always covered in snow, the residents always deemed it too cold for even them.

As a result, it drummed up more business for the stores and restaurants, as people took to not wanting to deal with the harsh cold outside and wanted somewhere warm to walk around or sit at. Craig and Tweek, as much as they liked the slower night shifts, welcomed the influx of people that just wanted to stay and drink their coffee while they talked or read. It ebbed away the boredom of the job and Tweek always made sure to bring a batch of a new treat out when there was a full shop to entice the people to buy more as they stayed there.

One particular night, the two had made well over two hundred in tips alone, due to Tweek’s method, one drunk man swearing up and down that Tweek was an attractive girl (”Well Tweek, you ARE wearing girly hair clips in your hair dude.” “Craig! The flower ones were th-the only ones I could find before our shift!”), and an older woman who was passing through town that was adamant that Craig was flirting with her.

The two walked home that night in a good mood, despite the weather biting through their thick coats. Craig pulled Tweek closer, trying to make sure the blond didn’t get the worst of the cold.

“I st-still can’t believe that drunk guy gave us a hundred d-dollar tip!”

Craig chuckled and rubbed Tweek’s shoulder. “Correction Tweek. He gave YOU the tip since you were “the prettiest girl barista he’s ever seen.” That’s all your money dude.”

“Uggh. No, Craig. We’re sh-sharing the tips. That’s the rule. I’d f-feel bad otherwise.”

“Tweek…”

“Don’t Tweek me! We’re splitting th-the money. Besides, it’ll probably just all be spent on Streak and our trip to Denver in about a m-month to check out the colleges there. Do you think y-you’ll be scouted by Denver in the next few weeks?”

Craig sighed. “I don’t really want to play basketball after high school. I’d really rather have Kyle get it, to be honest, despite the fact I know he’s definitely going to have college paid for him already, more or less. Or shoot, even Token. Plus, I really want to go to the same college you do.”

Tweek rolled his eyes. “The University of Denver is only about twelve minutes from the Art Institute and we’ll be able to find an affordable apartment, especially if we share it with Stan and Kyle.”

“Yeah…but UoD doesn’t have the art classes I want like AI. And basketball would interfere with those classes. Interior design has about as many hours needed as the business management courses we want to take and I can’t do both and still play something I’m not passionate about.”

“Craig…”

The noirette draped his arms around the blond and embraced him. “Tweek, I’m serious. I know it would be a great opportunity for me but it’s not what I want to do with my life. I’m not a jock by any means. I’m definitely a nerd with a love of space, guinea pigs, and kid shows from Japan that actually really shouldn’t BE for kids. I mean for crying out loud, Galaxy Racer KILLED Space Racer last week! I mean yeah…they revived him in this week’s episode…but STILL!”

Tweek giggled and Craig hugged him tighter. “I honestly didn’t even have a plan on what I wanted to do with my life when the school year started. I figured I’d just be one of those kids that just stayed in their home town and worked at the grocery store or a car garage and see everyone once in a while when there were reunions and see how much everyone’s changed while I stayed the same boring Craig Tucker. You gave me life and ambition to do better.”

———————————————–

The two walked into the house and up the stairs to their room, grateful for the warmth as they began to take off their coats and work clothes to get ready for bed.

Tweek stretched on the bed and fumbled with his hair, gently removing the clips that kept his hair back. Ever since Ruby had pinned his hair back on his and Craig’s first official date, the blond had found it was much easier to work without his hair in his face and had bought a ton of different clips and headbands to keep his hair back.

Craig plopped on the bed next to Tweek and gently pulled out a clip Tweek had missed. “By the way Tweek, didn’t get a chance to ask you until now… I was wondering… what you were planning on doing about two weeks from now? Like February fourteenth?”

Tweek furrowed his eyebrows. “Um… Valentine’s Day? That’s a Th-Thursday, so we work.”

Craig smirked. “I was thinking more like going out to dinner and catching a movie myself. I already got it settled with mom and dad. We’d just have to both work on Wednesday to make up for it.”

“As long as it’s n-not a stupid romantic comedy or a chick flick. Isn’t Barbaric Cannibal Mangler Part Two s-supposed to be out by then? I’d like to see that.”

“You know Tweek, it STILL surprises me that you of all people, don’t get scared or grossed out by horror movies, especially the more gruesome ones. Are there any you won’t watch?”

The blond thought for a moment. “The Hills Have Eyes r-remakes and The Human Centipede movies. The Hills movies just d-didn’t appeal to me and were more t-torture porn than telling a story. And the Centipede movies I w-won’t watch because of what happened to Kyle.”

Craig nodded. “The scars are mainly faded now. If the light catches his face right, you can still see a few of them. It’s like Butters’s eye scar that’s barely there.”

“I wish mine w-would fade away.”

Craig frowned as he shifted and pulled Tweek’s body against him, stroking the mass of hair on the blond’s head. “They’re not really that noticeable Tweek. And they have faded a bit since I first saw them. It’s kind of a mental thing. We know where they are, so we’ll always see them. Shoot, Clyde’s old dog Rex gave me a pretty bad scar on my arm when we tried giving him a bath one day. Required stitches.”

Craig traced a pale line from the middle of the back of his hand to halfway across his arm.

Tweek gently traced where Craig had, smiling softly. “You can barely s-see it.”

The noirette nodded. “It’s barely there, but to me, it sticks out like a sore thumb. I saw it at its worst, so in my mind it’ll always look like that to me. It’s the same with yours. And besides Tweek, they’re nothing to be ashamed of. It just proves to the world that you’re still here. You didn’t let whatever was hurting you get to you. I’m glad you’re here.”

Tweek smiled as he snuggled up against Craig. “I’m glad you’re here too. Th-Thank you for making me feel better. By the way, y-you never did answer me. Yay or nay on the movie?”

“You know Tweek…the point of taking someone to a horror movie is to cuddle with them when they get scared. You laugh like a madman when someone gets killed.”

The blond rolled his eyes. “The deaths are soooo pr-predictable though, especially with all the movies I’ve seen. You c-can’t help but laugh when the stupid horny teenagers get killed in th-these things. Seriously, I will bet you ten dollars that th-there will be the stereotypical horny couple that decides to wander off from the group to fuck, the guy g-gets a fucking ax or knife to the back right before they h-have sex, blonde chick finds a way to get away, yes, she WILL be blonde. Murderer st-starts chasing her and she ends up accidentally killing herself by breaking her n-neck because of h-her damn shoes or gets her hair stuck or something. Just watch.”

Craig chuckled. “Well, I guess we have to see it now to see if you’re right. Any other predictions?”

“Whatever redneck that w-warns the stupid teenagers about the murderer will end up b-being connected to said murderer, a building WILL be s-set on fire for reasons, there will be that one asshole that m-messes with something that belonged to the m-murderer, and there will be at least ten horror film cliches th-that you can definitely tell reference OTHER horror films, and a cameo from someone that’s known in the h-horror film genre.”

“How about make that twenty dollars AND the loser thoroughly cleans Streak’s main cage the next time it needs done.”

Tweek smirked. “Deal. Get ready to lose Craig.”

Chapter Text

The week leading up to Valentine’s Day completely changed the small mountain town. Businesses hoping to cash in on overly romantic woman and completely clueless men looking to please their women decorated their stores with gaudy hearts in every medium they could think of. There were Valentine’s Day specials and deals and Tweek had spent a good two days creating and teaching his parents and Craig on how to make a red velvet hot chocolate drink to drum up some more business, on top of putting red and pink hearts in the foam of every coffee drink for couples.

While Craig and Tweek had their Valentine’s Day plans sorted out, the others in their group weren’t so lucky, Kenny especially. The teen had wanted to go all out with what he wanted to do for Butters, but the fear of Butters’s parents finding out and the fact that he didn’t want the entire school to realize he was actually dating the blond pushed what Kenny wanted to do back.

It wasn’t until the Monday before the holiday when what Kenny thought was his greatest secret, wasn’t actually a secret when Jason came up to him and frantically asked for his help on a good Valentine gift for Emily since he couldn’t remember what the girl liked and that he would pay the blond for his service.

This resulted in a dozen guys, many of them the boyfriends of girls he had gone out with, coming up to him to ask for help as well, culminating in the reveal at in the lunchroom that everyone in school pretty much knew Kenny and Butters were dating and HAD known for several months and they were all in agreement to help Kenny get Butters away from his parents through any means.

There was nothing but cheers and whistles as Kenny had grabbed Butters after the reveal of his secrets and passionately kissed the blond in front of the entire student body, promising that this was only the beginning of what he had initially planned for Valentine’s Day.

——————————-

An insistent nudging woke Tweek up from a sound sleep and the blond groggily sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he saw a familiar blurry shape in front of him.

“Mmmmm, Craig? What’s wrong?”

Tweek’s hands were taken away from his face and held in his boyfriend’s hands as Craig shook them up and down. “It’s Valentine’s Day!”

The blond blinked a few times and looked over at the clock, noticing it was only six thirty. He glared as best he could at the noirette and pulled one of his hand’s out of Craig’s and flipped the teen off. “You couldn’t have let m-me sleep another thirty minutes? Fuck off.”

Tweek began to lay back down to try to get a bit more sleep, angry that he was woken up so early.

Craig chuckled as he began to pull the teen back up. “No more sleeping Muffin! I’ve got a surprise for you! That’s why I woke you up!”

The teen groaned as Craig pulled him up and out of bed, whining at the loss of heat the covers had made, and grumbled the entire time the noirette dragged him from their bedroom to the kitchen. Craig sat him down at the table and put Thursday’s preferred coffee in his coffee cup with a middle finger on the bottom on the table.

The first sip perked the blond up a bit, but he was still mad at being woken up before seven. “Craig, why are w-we up?”

Craig’s answer was a stack of heart shaped pancakes that had cut up strawberries and whipped cream on top. “I made you pancakes! I asked your mom if she could teach me how. I hope I did okay!”

Tweek Tweak was by no means a breakfast person, preferring to just get by on coffee until lunch with a possible pastry if he was working a morning shift at the coffee shop, but the obvious work that Craig had put into the slightly misshapen pancakes tugged at the blond’s heart and stomach and said organ gurgled at the sweet smell of the strawberries.

The teen picked up the syrup between his and Craig’s plates and poured a light amount on top before slicing the pancakes with his fork and taking a small taste.

“Oh my god Craig! These a-are amazing!”

Tweek dug into the breakfast, his appetite coming on in full force, as the teen ate the romantic breakfast Craig had prepared, almost fully forgiving him for waking him up at an ungodly hour.

———————————–

The influx of pink, red, and white heart-shaped everything that had been slowly building that week intensified as the two walked into school that morning. Every locker was adorned with at least one Valentine decoration and Craig had to assure Tweek that, yes there was some kind of pink filter on some of the lights and, no he wasn’t hallucinating and his eyes weren’t going bad because all he could see was pink.

Classes didn’t fare much better with most of the female teachers more invested on daydreaming about dates with boyfriends or husbands than actually teaching class, so most of the classes until lunch were free periods where Craig kept texting Tweek emoji hearts and selfies of him holding crudely drawn Valentine messages.

Kenny’s love for Butters could be clearly seen each time anyone saw Butters go to his locker after every class with some token of affection that Kenny had sent to the teen’s classroom and Tweek had taken pity on the fellow blond by letting him use his locker to store some of the things after Anatomy’s class had gifted Butters a white bunny plush with an orange hoodie on it that both blonds were certain was once the one Kenny had worn during elementary.

——————————–

Craig and Kenny had gone on ahead to the lunchroom, leaving Tweek and Butters to put the bunny plush in Tweek’s locker and for Tweek to grab the Valentine goodies he had made for everyone.

“So Tweek, you can tell what Ken’s been doin’, what are you and Craig doin’ for Valentine’s?”

Tweek handed the blond a plastic bag full of candy and homemade cookies. “We were going to s-see Barbaric Cannibal Mangler Part Two since I l-love horror movies and we kind of have a bet on what happens.”

Butters smiled. “That sure sounds like fun. Ken’s been real secretive on everything that he’s been doin’ but I’m pretty sure he’s not done yet by a long shot.”

The two walked into the lunchroom, not prepared for the onslaught of balloons that seemed to fill the entire ceiling, each with a paper heart attached to the string with sentimental words and phrases on it. Kenny, wearing a red hoodie with fluffy wings attached to it, came running up and grabbed Butters, spinning him around in his embrace.

Tweek chuckled as he left the couple and made his way to the large table Craig and everyone had decided to sit at today since Wendy and Nichole had decided to sit with their boyfriends. Tweek handed out the bags of treats before sitting down next to Craig, who pulled the blond into a small kiss on the lips.

Craig handed Tweek his lunchbag adorned with cutout hearts and the blond raised an eyebrow at the lovesick look the noirette had on his face. “Craig…what d-did you do to my lunch?”

The teen only grinned as Tweek cautiously opened the bag and pulled out his sandwiches and salad he normally ate. Craig had shaped the sandwiches into hearts and the tomatoes, cucumbers, and cheese wedges in the salad were heart shaped. Even the whole black olives were cut and shaped to be hearts.

“The olives are filled with a tiny bit of cream cheese to keep them together!”

Tweek shook his head as he glanced at Craig’s normal lunch. “Did you w-wake up when my parents did this morning to m-make this as well as the pancakes?”

Craig smirked. “Actually got up about ten minutes before they did and made coffee for them.”

Clyde looked up from digging through his treat bag. “Whoa Craig! You didn’t tell me you ALSO made Tweek pancakes! Who knew you’d be so romantic? And especially more than Tweek!”

Tweek groaned and rolled his eyes. “Yeah Clyde, he d-did. This fucker woke me up thirty minutes before we normally get up to f-feed me heart shaped pancakes. I’ve almost forgiven him for my lack of sleep. And my r-romantic stuff will be later tonight.”

Craig reached into his bag and pulled out an envelope and handed it to Tweek. “Oh! Almost forgot to give you this! Made it in Art yesterday!”

Tweek took the envelope and carefully ripped the paper and pulled out the handmade card with a loving message in Craig’s improving calligraphy script adorned with little red and pink hearts that were unfortunately made out of glitter. The blond cringed as he saw the small particles begin to stick on his hands. “Craig!”

“Yes Muffin?”

The blond pouted as he held out his now glittered hand. “Glitter?! Really!? F-First you rob me of my sleep and now you give me craft herpes? What kind of b-boyfriend are you?”

Craig smirked as he swiped his finger over one of the hearts before wiping it on Tweek’s face. “I had to be an asshole sometime during this holiday.”

Tweek growled as he grabbed the envelope to put the card back in before smiling softly. “Hey Craig…”

“Yeah Tweek?”

In one swift movement, Tweek pulled off Craig’s chullo and dumped the contents of the envelope, the remnants of the glitter that didn’t stick to the card, in Craig’s hair, before running his fingers through the black locks to thoroughly distribute it as he grinned evilly. “Happy Valentine’s Day Asshole!”

Wendy laughed at Tweek and Craig’s antics before glancing over to the still embraced Kenny and Butters as they walked to the table and giggled. “You guys are all so disgustingly cute, I’m seriously gonna puke kittens.”

Stan shook his head. “At least it’s better than actual puke. I’m so glad I grew out of that.”

Kyle nodded as he leaned his head against Stan’s shoulder. “I know Wendy and I are in total agreement with that. I mean, I didn’t mind the puke, but it got old after a while. And you ruined one of my favorite sweaters that one time.”

Wendy nodded. “I remember that sweater. You were so pissed at Stan for that. So, you guys doing anything tonight? Stan, Kyle, and I were thinking about going to see a movie.”

Craig brushed a bit of glitter out of his hair. “Yeah, we’re gonna see Barbaric Cannibal Mangler Part Two. Tweek's buying our tickets and snacks.”

Clyde smirked. “Ah Craig! I see! Take Tweek to see a scary movie and comfort him when he gets scared. Genius.”

Craig scoffed. “I fucking wish! This little fucker is gonna laugh through the entire damn thing. Horror movies don’t faze him at all. And we have a bet on certain things that happen in the movie.”

The entire table stared at the couple upon Craig’s statement.

Clyde shook his head. “Craig, don’t fuck with us. It’s Tweek! I mean…it’s TWEEK!”

Tweek rolled his eyes. “Horror movies j-just don’t faze me for some reason. I just know they’re fake and it’s hilarious to see stupid t-teenagers die in horrible ways.”

Clyde looked at everyone else before settling his eyes on Craig and Tweek. “Oh we have GOT to see this!”

—————————————–

The teens were glad that the people at the theater were indifferent about some of their group not being eighteen to see the rated R horror movie as they all met up in the lobby later that night, mainly because the group of eleven were spending a lot in snacks.

As they entered the theater that housed their movie and sat down, Tweek began smiling and bouncing in his seat. “So, have any of y-you seen the first Barbaric Cannibal Mangler? Because th-this one takes place two years after the first with the two survivors of the first one t-trying to get past what happened in the first one and lead normal college l-lives. But if you stayed a-after the credits on the first one, you would know that the killer actually s-survived and wants revenge. Oh and Craig, I already kn-know Wes Campbell is making a cameo, so that’s one for me on the bet.”

Tweek squeed as the lights went off and the movie began playing, bouncing in his seat the entire time.

The movie was violent, bloody, and disturbing in its two hour runtime, forcing several of the patrons to cover their eyes or seek comfort from their dates or friends as the gruesome body count rose.

It REALLY didn’t help that true to Craig’s word, Tweek laughed at each death, INCLUDING a near perfect retelling of the exact scenario Tweek had told Craig the previous night.

The movie ended and the group rushed out of the theater to gather their wits, save for Tweek, who stayed until after the credits to see if there was any tease of a third film.

The blond walked out several minutes later and grinned as he walked over to Craig, holding his hand out. “Post credits. Linda passed by a ch-chainsaw, sawed-off shotgun, and a machete before p-picking up a large butcher knife and pulled a cloth bag off of a tied up g-guy in a chair that just happened to be Johnny. That’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Evil Dead Trilogy, and Friday the 13th. Large kn-knife was also an homage to Halloween and they framed tied up Johnny like they did in the Hostel movies.”

Craig groaned and pulled out his wallet, slapping a twenty dollar bill in Tweek’s hands. “Why did I make this stupid bet with you?”

“T-To be fair, it was ONLY ten dollars and I started it. YOU were the one that upped the b-bet.”

“I know! Don’t remind me!”

Clyde shook his head as he draped his arm around Tweek’s shoulders. “Dude, you are so fucking hardcore! If we had known you don’t mind scary movies, we could have been watching them on our movie nights.”

Tweek smiled. “That sounds good. B-Be prepared for me to laugh or rage at the movie though. What I did in there was t-tame since it was the theater. I’m more vocal when we’re at home.”

Craig looked at his phone. “Hey, we’ve got time to get a drink from the coffee shop and I’m sure mom and dad would appreciate the help in closing if you want Tweek.”

The blond nodded and the group walked the few feet between the theater and coffee shop. The shop was nearly empty, so it barely took time to fix everyone’s drinks once Tweek and Craig stepped behind the counter to help. The teens hung out until about ten minutes before closing and the group said goodbye to Tweek, Craig, and the Tweaks as they walked out to go home.

Mrs. Tweak smiled as she latched the door as the last customer left. “So you boys have fun tonight?”

Tweek nodded as he began flipping the chairs on the tables. “Made twenty fr-from Craig on a horror movie bet. And I don’t think I w-want to see another paper heart for a long time.”

Craig chuckled. “Don’t worry, you won’t…until next year. And next time, TWICE the glitter!”

The blond glared at Craig. “Don’t TEMPT me. I WILL gl-glitter bomb you Craig Riley Tucker.”

———————————-

The teens were grateful for the ride home as Craig was finally about ready to drop after being awake for so long. Tweek had to all but drag the teen up the stairs and into their bedroom and it took several minutes for the noirette to kick his shoes off and shrug out of his jacket.

Craig pulled his chullo off and let it drop to the floor as his head hit the pillow and was halfway asleep before Tweek came in with fresh water for Streak.

“Craig, are you gonna t-take a shower first? You still have glitter in your hair.”

Craig groaned as he snuggled more into the covers. “Too tired. Don’t care.”

Tweek rolled his eyes as he got undressed and got into what he wore to bed. “And I guess you’re n-not going to change either?”

“Less talk, more sleep. Wanna cuddle.”

The noirette awkwardly patted Tweek’s side of the bed and the blond laughed as he turned off the overhead light and climbed into bed. Craig immediately latched onto Tweek and began nuzzling the blond as his breath slowly evened out and he fell asleep.

Tweek had to shift to grab and take his pills before turning off the lamp and joining Craig in slumber.

Chapter Text

“Token’s pissed at y-you, isn’t he?”

Craig rolled his eyes as the two continued their walk to the coffee shop after Craig’s basketball game. “I’ve told him for months now that I didn’t want to play basketball after high school. I didn’t even really want to play it this year, but I couldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. He KNEW. It’s his fault for him being so pissy at me turning down the scouters.”

Tweek sighed as he grabbed one of the flaps on Craig’s chullo and yanked on it, making said hat tilt slightly. “I’m a bit mad at y-you myself, but I understand your reasoning.”

“I really think you’re the only one Tweek. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the offer of a full scholarship, but none of the top colleges have anything to offer in what I want to make my living on. I’m serious on helping you with the coffee shop in every way I can.”

Tweek chuckled. “I know you are Craig. After all, you DID sp-spend thirty minutes staring at paint swatches at the hardware store when we were just there to p-pick up more caging for Streak. You’ve got the decorating bug pretty b-bad.”

Craig stretched, popping his shoulder. “Too bad I can’t really do anything until I get my degree. Graduation is fucking taking too long to get here!”

Tweek shook his head. “Three months Craig. It’s only three m-months. And we’ve got a shit ton of other things planned in that three months. Clyde, Kenny, and Kyle turn eighteen, th-there’s prom…oh god…prom…, we find out what colleges accepted us, Spring Break is next week…”

“That coffee workshop thing your parents are going to for the weekend next month as well. Don’t forget about that. We’ll be able to handle the shop the entire weekend, right?”

The blond nodded. “They did it last year and I worked both Saturday and Sunday b-by myself since Katie was out of town. I’m glad you’ll be there this time.”

—————————-

The start of Spring Break coincided with the trip to Denver for Craig, Tweek, Stan, and Kyle to check out the city and check on pricing for apartments. Stan and Kyle definitely knew they were going to the University of Denver since Stan had accepted the football scouters offer and Kyle had been the basketball scouters next choice after Craig.

True to Tweek’s word, UoD and the college Craig and Tweek both hoped to get into were twelve minutes away from each other and there were several apartment complexes within decent walking and driving distance from both.

The area between the two schools had a fair share of restaurants and coffee shops and the four teens spent a good part of the day walking around before splitting up to check out their respective school, promising to meet at a cozy looking coffee shop Tweek had seemed to fall in love with.

Several hours later, Craig and Tweek walked into the shop laden with pamphlets and estimates on college costs and ordered simple coffee drinks. They sat down to wait for Stan and Kyle, Tweek fretting at his coffee and how it could be improved.

Craig shook his head. “I’ve said it a million times. You are way too anal about your coffee.”

“Speaking of anal…”

Kyle sat down in one of the empty seats as Stan walked to the table holding his and Kyle’s drinks.

Stan groaned, his face growing as red as Kyle’s hair. “Kyle…no…”

The redhead laughed as he grabbed his drink. “I thought it was hilarious!”

“You would, you freak!”

Kyle cackled as Stan hit him hard on the shoulder, forcing Craig and Tweek to look at the two incredulously.

“Mind telling us what the joke is so we can laugh at Stan too?”

The redhead giggled, trying to keep from laughing as he took a sip of his coffee. “So…you two know how Stan’s choosing to go into Veterinary School, right?”

The two nodded and Stan tried to put his hand over Kyle’s mouth. Kyle easily held his boyfriend’s hand away. “So one of the teachers that Stan is going to have was telling us that since there are so many farming towns around Denver, one of the main courses is going to be with farm animals and includes field trips to some of the farms for on hands experience. And then he told us that just last week, his students went to a dairy farm to check on some pregnant cows and the method on how you check them. Go on Stan, tell them.”

“Do I have to? This is fucking embarrassing.”

Kyle smirked. “If you don’t, I’ll tell them that story about you, me, Wendy, and the bottle of Mrs. Butterworth.”

Stan’s eyes got wide and he shook his head. “Okay! Okay! Ugh… So in order to check on if a cow is pregnant and how far along, you… lube up and stick your hand up her ass…”

Kyle started giggling again. “And then the guy starts walking away to show us another vet classroom after he said the method and I whisper to Stan that he’ll be a master at that since he already has experience sticking lubed objects in two Cow asses.”

The table grew silent before Tweek started heavily breathing, trying hard to not laugh as Stan’s face grew redder. Tweek finally squeaked and started giggling, causing both Craig and Kyle to start laughing as Stan slammed his head on the table.

“I hate all three of you so much.”

————————————-

The rest of Spring Break had the entire group hang out at Token’s since his house had an indoor pool and they were sick of the snow outside.

Tweek had put on his swim trunks he had bought on Craig’s insistence, but frowned at the pale scars adorning his arm. He didn’t know why he suddenly had cared about them being on his arm and what his friends would do if they saw them. He knew Craig didn’t care and that both Clyde and Token also knew about them, but Stan’s group didn’t know. He knew there was nothing to be ashamed of, like Craig had told him weeks ago, but the thought of the others seeing them gave the teen second thoughts about going in the water. He had hidden them so well with his long shirts and the fact that he hadn’t really hung out with any of them since he had cut himself until this year, but the fear of his friends abandoning him for their existence terrified him.

There was a light knock on the door before Craig poked his head in. “Tweek, everything okay?”

Tweek was sitting on the toilet staring at his arm and looked up at Craig, shaking his head. “I can’t. I can’t g-go out there. They’ll s-see my scars and then w-want to know about wh-what happened and I c-can’t tell them wh-what happened because they’ll think I’m weak and horrible f-for doing this to myself and they’ll stop wanting to b-be my frie-”

“Tweek.”

Craig entered the bathroom fully and knelt down in front of the blond, taking the pale arm and running his fingers over the scars. “I promise you that Stan and the others won’t judge you or hate you for these. They’re your friends. They aren’t going to stop hanging out with you because of them.”

“But…”

The door creaked open suddenly and Stan walked in, shirt already halfway off, before he noticed Craig and Tweek were still in the room. Tweek gasped and pulled his arm away from Craig and held it close to his body before Stan had a chance to see it.

Stan narrowed his eyes. “Tweek…were those-”

The blond whimpered as he curled into himself, forcing Craig to try to unfurl the teen.

Stan walked closer and knelt down, lightly touching Tweek on the shoulder. “Hey Tweek, dude, look at me. It’s okay. I have them too.”

Stan pulled his long sleeved shirt off the rest of the way as Tweek cautiously lifted his head. Nestled in the crook of Stan’s forearm were several long, pale scars.

“You don’t have to tell me the reason behind yours Tweek, but just want to let you know that it’s okay to have them. Mine happened in Sophomore year, back when I started having feelings for both Wendy and Kyle and I couldn’t decide between the two. It wasn’t fair to either of them, so I just stopped hanging around them and talking to them. Fell back in with the goths and started drinking heavily again and when the alcohol couldn’t chase away the pain enough, I started cutting.”

Tweek sniffed as he uncurled his hands and touched the pale lines on Stan’s arm.

Stan smiled softly as he moved his arm closer. “You should have heard Kyle and Wendy when they found out. Since I had stopped hanging out with them, they had grown closer, so when Firkle called Ike to tell Kyle to come get me one night when I got dangerously drunk and Wendy had come along, man… I swear I didn’t leave their sight for a month while they got me better.”

Tweek looked up at Stan and held out his arm. “My meds f-fucked with my head pretty bad until w-we found the right combination. You… You promise you’re n-not mad I have them?”

Stan lightly ruffled Tweek’s hair. “Why would I be mad Tweek? They’re a part of life. We’ll always have scars we’re not proud of, but you should never be ashamed of them.”

Tweek nodded slowly, before pulling his shirt off all the way and standing up. “I…think I’m r-ready to go to the p-pool. Thank you Stan. Ready Craig?”

Craig smiled softly. “Go on ahead. If Stan doesn’t mind, I’ve got to piss. I’d pee in the pool, but we all fucking know how anal Kyle is about us doing that.”

The blond chuckled and nodded before walking out of the bathroom. Craig waited until Tweek was several feet away before turning to look at Stan. “Don’t really have to go. I just wanted to thank you for talking to him. It’s been bothering him for a few weeks now and he honestly doesn’t know why his scars have just suddenly been on his mind lately. I talked to him about it, but I guess what he really needed was someone who knew what it was like to talk to.”

Stan nodded and smiled. “Anytime Craig. Kyle’s the same way sometimes and Cartman had a problem with his stretch marks for a while and to be honest, I had the same fear he had in thinking Kyle and Wendy didn’t want me for doing what I had done. But everything worked out.”

The two walked out of the bathroom once Stan had changed and into the main pool area where Craig saw Tweek totally invested in a game of Marco Polo. He smiled, knowing Tweek was feeling better, as he dove into the pool.

——————————————-

The Friday of Spring Break was Kenny’s eighteenth birthday, so the teens loaded up in Kyle’s and Token’s cars and drove to Boulder where a new giant arcade had opened up.

Kenny had dragged Butters, Stan, and Kyle toward the laser tag area while Clyde and Cartman had went to beat each other in air hockey with Token supervising so the two wouldn’t kill each other, leaving Craig and Tweek to wander around the arcade to play games.

“Anything seem interesting to you Tweek?”

“I was p-pretty good at Skeeball the last time I went to an arcade. Wanna s-see who can get more tickets?”

Craig smirked. “You’re on. This time I’m gonna win.”

After a few rounds of Skeeball proving that Tweek was still pretty good, Craig suggested going to some of of the coin pusher machines to earn tickets, followed by some of the basketball games and skill games. By the time lunch rolled around, Craig had racked up about five thousand tickets, but Tweek had beat the noirette by just ten tickets.

Craig looked at all the prizes before looking over to Tweek. “Alright, you won our game, so you get to pick whatever we can get with ten thousand tickets.”

“Are you sure Craig?”

Craig nodded and Tweek looked over at all the prizes before smiling. “I want a Number Twelve and a Number Twenty.”

————————————

“He’s so fluffy! Feel him Clyde! Feel him!”

Clyde groaned as he turned to glare at Tweek in the backseat. “You just HAD to fucking get him that, didn’t you!?”

Tweek giggled as he covered his face with the poop emoji plush he had picked for himself. “I seriously didn’t kn-know they even made guinea pig stuffed animals! I just HAD t-to get it for him! We had enough tickets for it and Hamlet here.”

Clyde furrowed his eyebrows. “Hamlet? You didn’t seriously name the poop Hamlet, did you? Why?”

The blond snorted. “Hamlet the Vampire Slayer.”

Clyde just stared at the blond as he shoved the giant guinea pig plush out of his face. “What?”

Tweek rolled his eyes. “It’s a m-movie Clyde. Hamlet the Vampire Slayer. It’s if you crossed Hamlet w-with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The movie st-starts with a definition of diarrhea aka poop, so… Hamlet.”

Craig gasped as he pulled his plush out of Clyde’s face. “Ooh! That would also be a really good name for a guinea pig! Hamlet! Can I name my plush Hamlet as well? Please Tweek?”

Tweek nodded as he smiled at Craig hugging the giant plush and looking at him with a near exact replica of the infamous Clyde Donovan puppy dog look. “Yes Craig, you can.”

Craig had the beginning of a high pitched squee on the tip of his tongue, when Token slammed his hand on the dashboard. “No squeeing in the car while I’m driving please! It’s bad enough that I hear it from Clyde constantly. Don’t you dare start Craig!”

————————————–

Luckily, birthday dinner at McDonald’s didn’t involve vengeful chicken spirits and the group got to enjoy their nuggets in peace after being deprived of them for nearly three months.

They drove back to South Park and all ended up crashing at Token’s house for a birthday party and sleepover and spent the night watching movies.

—————————

“Nope! No no no! Fucking… stop the fucking movie!”

Token paused the movie as Tweek cursed at the screen, before standing up and walking into the kitchen, coming back a minute later with the Black’s blender in his hand.

“Eric! Put your h-hand in the blender!”

Cartman stared at the blond incredulously before slowly putting his hand in the device in front of him. “Tweek…what does this have to do with-”

Tweek groaned. “This blender looks EXACTLY like the one that Ken h-has in the movie! And you aren’t as fat as him and you can b-barely get your hand in there. Not only does he do it, he also gets his hand chopped in the d-damn thing and judging from the fact that he’s been fucking making a shit ton of s-salsa, the blades are probably dull as shit, so there would be n-no fucking way the blades would cut through layers of skin and fat and STILL b-be able to slice his damn throat to kill him! This movie is pissing me off!”

Craig stood up and gently took the blender from Tweek’s hands and handed it to Token before wrapping his arms around the blond. “Come on Muffin. It’s going to be okay. It’s just a movie.”

Several minutes went by as the group continued to watch Unfriended.

“Blaire, you are too st-stupid to fucking live! You still have y-your fucking screen share on you stupid bitch!”

“How do you kn-know how to fucking torrent but not know ANYTHING else about h-how computers work!?

“How the fuck do you accidentally h-have sex with Adam TWICE?! Did you trip and fucking f-fall on his dick?!”

“Why the hell did you put d-down one of your fingers Blaire!? Are you ALSO responsible for Ashley Dane g-getting an abortion?!”

“WEBCAMS DON’T WORK THAT WAY!”

As the movie credits rolled, Craig tried to placate a seething Tweek with coffee he had just made the teen.

Clyde shook his head and laughed. “Wow Tweek, you were right about getting vocal. That actually made the movie ten times better. You’re right, this movie was complete shit. Are there any other movies that you know about that will cause this reaction in you?”

“The f-fucking Leprechaun remake is one. Dreamcatcher. Don’t EVEN g-get me started on the Friday the 13th remake or the Hellraiser movies after the fourth o-one.”

Clyde grinned as he held up Leprechaun. “I guess we know what’s next then.”

Chapter Text

Starting from the first day back to school after Spring Break began the dreaded final stretch of school and for the Seniors of South Park High, the eventual aggravation of trying to fit so many events and trying to maintain their sanity in the last cluster of weeks.

Tweek knew that April would probably be the busiest month social wise for him, since the school had decided to throw as many events in the final full month. There was Butters’s play, award ceremonies that he had been nominated for, Easter was near the end of the month, Clyde’s birthday was at the beginning, and his parents were leaving him to run the shop by himself for the weekend.

To top it off, college acceptance or rejection letters were starting to come in for students and each day that nothing came in for either Tweek or Craig had the blond fretting way more than he wanted.

“Seriously Tweek, there’s nothing to worry about for you. I mean we only filled out about half of what everyone else does AND you’re one of the top students in class. You’re guaranteed to get in to a few of them. Your chances are better than mine you nerd.”

Tweek glared at Craig while the noirette was carefully cleaning out Streak’s cage since the guinea pig had decided to shred one of her cardboard hideaways and litter her entire cage with the remnants.

“I’m just w-worried about us not getting in the same school. I don’t want to accept any of th-them if you don’t get accepted either.”

Craig looked back at Tweek laying on the bed and smiled. “The schools we applied for have a pretty good acceptance rate though. Even if we don’t go to the same school, I’m still committed to sharing an apartment with you guys, even if I have to settle with my school not being in the same city as you guys.”

“Craig…”

“It’ll be fine Muffin. Trust me.”

———————————————-

Despite Clyde’s birthday only being a week away and the giant fuss he had made when both Craig and Tweek turned eighteen, the brunette had been strangely silent on regards to his birthday plans.

Craig furrowed his eyebrows as Clyde picked at the apple strudel muffin Tweek had brought for the table. “Clyde, you okay dude?”

Clyde looked up and blinked a few times. “Huh? Oh yeah Craig, I’m fine.”

Craig shook his head slightly. “Okay Clyde, whatever you say. So, about your birthday next week, you haven’t told us what you want to do. Didn’t you want a giant party announcing you were an adult with severe lack of supervision?”

Clyde chuckled slightly as he finally ate a bit of the muffin. “Oh yeah…I did want that, didn’t I? Um, I’ve been to a few lately and then we had more fun at Kenny’s than I really did at any of them, so… I kind of just want something like that? Not going to an arcade I mean, just…us all hanging out. God…I sound like an adult already!”

The noirette rolled his eyes. “Nah, just a sensible teenager that’s getting his shit together. I mean after all, you’ve got a full scholarship to Boulder. It’s wise to not fuck that up by a stupid party.”

Clyde smiled slightly. “Yeah… Thanks Craig.”

————————————

Sent 5:30 pm

CLYDE: Hey Tweek. You home?

Sent 5:31 pm

TWEEK: It’s Tuesday, so yeah. Craig’s here too. What’s up?

Sent 5:32 pm

CLYDE: Can I ask a favor?

Sent 5:32 pm

TWEEK: Yeah sure. What is it?

Sent 5:42 pm

TWEEK: Clyde?

Sent 5:45 pm

CLYDE: Can I come over?

Sent 5:45 pm

TWEEK: Yeah. Clyde, you okay?

Sent 5:50 pm

CLYDE: Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be right over.

———————————–

The moment Tweek opened the front door to let Clyde in, he immediately knew something was wrong. As much as he tried to hide it, the closest of Clyde’s friends knew whenever the brunette had been crying.

Tweek closed the distance between them and embraced the teen into a hug, knowing Clyde needed the gesture. The teen immediately latched on as he took deep breaths to try to not break down again.

Craig was coming down the stairs as Tweek led the willing Clyde into the kitchen. Tweek looked up and the two exchanged looks before Craig nodded and hurried down the stairs and into the kitchen with them.

Clyde gratefully took the hot chocolate Tweek offered him and the three spent the next few minutes silently sitting at the kitchen table while they sipped their drinks.

“I turn eighteen in a few days.”

The brunette closed his eyes as he gripped his mug tighter before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a piece of paper. “Tweek, I know you probably already have a gift for me…but…”

The teen shakily handed the piece of paper to Tweek, who started to unfold it as soon as Clyde let go of the paper. Tweek scanned the paper briefly. “A recipe for lemon bars?”

“It’s… my mom’s. I just thought that since you’re so good at baking, that maybe…you could…”

Clyde put his head in his hands and sniffed as he shook, trying to keep himself from crying. “She’d…she’d make them every year on my birthday for me. And I just… Dad tried, my sister tried, even I’ve tried…but… we can’t get them right. They’re okay…but they’re NEVER mom’s lemon bars. They never turn out as good as she made them.”

The brunette moved his hands to hug himself as he choked back as sob. “I miss her. I miss her so goddamn much sometimes. I even miss all her nagging, because deep down, she was just worried about me. And I feel so fucking guilty for missing her because it’s my fault she’s gone. Dad would never say it, but I know he blames me for what happened. I’m a terrible person.”

Craig got up and leaned down to embrace the teen. “No you’re not Clyde. You are a wonderful human with a lot of love. What happened was an accident, everyone knows that. Now Clyde, what happened?”

Clyde sniffed. “What?”

“Something usually brings on the mom memories, but it’s never usually this bad. What happened?”

Clyde swallowed the lump in his throat as he reached for his hot chocolate and took a sip. “Dad said he’d be busy at the shop and my sister can’t come down since she’s got Finals she’s studying for, so it would be up to me to try to make her lemon bars… But after last year’s horrible mess, I was afraid of trying it again and I broke down when I thought I wouldn’t get to taste them even though they wouldn’t be hers, it IS still her recipe, so they kind of are in spirit?”

The brunette frowned as he took another sip of his cooling drink. “And then, I just started…thinking about everything as a whole and just everything hit me at once. I’m turning eighteen and she won’t be there. My mom won’t be here to see her baby boy become an adult. She won’t be here to see me graduate or see me off to college. It’s my fault.”

Tweek moved closer to Clyde and wrapped his hands around one of the teen’s hands and squeezed. “Craig’s r-right, it’s not your fault Clyde. It’s not healthy to keep blaming yourself for it. The f-first step to healing is to forgive yourself.”

“But it’s too late to forgive myself, isn’t it? I should have done it years ago… And I should have gotten over my grief for what happened long ago as well.”

Tweek smiled softly. “It’s never too l-late for forgiveness. And there’s never a set t-timeframe for grief. It’s okay to have spurts of it f-from time to time. I’m sure your mom is happy you st-still think about her.”

Craig put his arm around Clyde’s shoulders. “And knowing her, she’s probably nagging at you from wherever she is, going on about how you should be more happy for your upcoming birthday and graduation. And that you probably left the door unlocked at the house.”

Clyde sniffed and smiled softly. “Thanks guys. I mean that.”

Tweek picked up the piece of paper with the lemon bar recipe. “So, do you just want one b-batch of them or should I make more? It might take a few to get them just right, but I’ll t-try my best Clyde. You’ll obviously be the best judge on how accurate I g-get them.”

“A few batches are fine Tweek. Thank you.”

————————————-

Craig and Tweek were the last ones to arrive at Clyde’s house on the teen’s birthday, both each carrying labeled containers of lemon bars.

Tweek chuckled as they walked through the house and into the kitchen, where most of their group was hanging out and eating pizza. “Hope you guys l-like lemon bars. We’ve got plenty.”

Craig set Clyde down as Tweek grabbed the small paper plates on the counter and put a different lemon bar from each container in front of the teen. “Now, each has a sl-slight variation to it, ranging from ingredients to how I mixed them. Hopefully one will b-be close.”

Clyde took a bite of each one as Tweek described what he had done. They were close, all of them, but not how he remembered them. He finally got to the last batch, the one from Container 5, and bit into the treat. His eyes widened before tears welled up in them. He continued to chew as tears ran down his face.

“Tweek…that… Five was… That’s my mom’s…”

The blond smiled softly. “I was hoping that would b-be the one. I got confused she only put down one lemon in the recipe, but I didn’t realize u-until this batch that it meant the WHOLE lemon. In the directions, it says to combine the filling ingredients, but she p-put lemon sugar and I thought she meant the juice and sugar, but your mom meant actual lemon sugar. Like sugar mixed with zest from the l-lemon. So the last batch, I made that and let the sugar absorb the lemon zest and used it instead of just plain sugar.”

Clyde stood up and pulled Tweek into a huge hug, sniffing as he cried into Tweek’s hair. “You made them… You made her lemon bars… Thank you so much Tweek.”

“You’re w-welcome. Happy Birthday Clyde.”

——————————————–

Apparently Betsy Donovan’s lemon bars were a thing of legend and once Tweek had put them on the coffee shop’s menu (with the gracious blessing of Clyde provided that he get free ones whenever he wanted), the “Lemon Betsy” as Tweek had named them flew out of the bakery counter paired with the summer-y drinks the shop was putting out.

Just like Valentine’s Day, Easter was surprisingly a good holiday for business for the shop with the inclusion of the bars, causing Tweek to stay in the back to churn out more bars and perfect the recipe that Clyde gifted him.

—————————————-

The week before Tweek’s parents were supposed to go out of town also began the start of the college letters. The definite choice in Denver the two wanted hadn’t arrived yet, but the ones from Boulder had come in, all three had accepted Tweek but only one had accepted Craig. The same was true for the few that they had applied for further from South Park, with Tweek accepted into most of them and Craig accepted into a slimmer margin.

“We m-might just have to take the one in Boulder if we still w-wanted to share with Kyle and Stan. But we’d need to take the bus or g-get a car. They may just be safer with l-living in the dorms and us find a place in Boulder.”

Craig furrowed his eyebrows at their slim choices of schools that they were both accepted into. “It also depends on who else got picked and at which cities. Didn’t your cousin also get accepted at Boulder?”

Tweek nodded. “Already set Bobby and Clyde with contact info for each o-other. They might get an apartment with each other and another roommate or two. That m-might be an option.”

Craig nodded. “Well, we still have time to sort out living conditions. We’ve only got AI in Denver and that one art school in Fort Collins left on letters. Hopefully they come this week.”

——————————–

The two got home late on Friday night since both the teens had worked at the shop since the Tweaks had left once the boys had got out of school. While Tweek went to put Streak up in her cage and make sure she had fresh water, Craig set the paper bags holding their dinner from the diner on the dining table, noticing that either Richard or Maureen had already checked the mail and several envelopes were on the table.

Craig picked them up and set down the bills and junk mail until he stopped at the end of the stack. Two envelopes, addressed to each of them, from the art college in Denver. This was it. Their number one choice with their fate was in his hands. The day before had been a bust with the Fort Collins letters both rejecting them, but to be fair, it really hadn’t been a choice of theirs to begin with.

This however…this. This was the big moment. Both envelopes felt the same, but it really didn’t mean anything to Craig since at least three of the colleges he applied for that he didn’t get in but Tweek did had felt and looked the same, proving the thick vs. thin college letter myth was a lie.

Tweek came down as Craig was still staring at the envelopes, slightly shaking. “Craig? Are you okay?”

Craig replied in the form of handing Tweek his envelope. Tweek looked from his to Craig’s. “They look the same.”

“Doesn’t mean anything. Remember Colorado Springs and Aurora?”

The blond nodded and sat down, still clutching his envelope as Craig did the same. The two stared at their respective envelopes in silence.

“I can’t o-open it. It’s too much p-pres-”

“Pressure. I know. You haven’t said that in a long time. But yeah… I know exactly how you feel.”

Tweek shook in a rare twitch and shakily turned around the envelope, before it was taken out of his hands and another one was thrust in its place. The blond looked up, giving Craig a confused look.

Craig smiled softly. “It might be easier to just…open each other’s?”

Tweek twitched as he looked down at Craig’s envelope and nodded, before beginning to tear the paper, hearing as Craig was opening his. He slowly took out the pieces of paper and unfolded them and took a deep breath as he read the top paper, smile slowly growing on his face as he read Craig’s letter.

The blond looked up to find an equally beaming smile on Craig’s face and the two jumped up to embrace each other and shower each other with kisses.

“W-We’re both in! We did it!”

Craig spun the blond around. “Be prepared for listening to horrifying animal and medical stories from our roommates!”

“As long as they’re prepared f-for me stuffing them with food and seeing some of your questionable a-artwork.”

Craig rolled his eyes. “She told us we could use any medium! And she knows I work at a coffee shop! It should have been a given.”

Tweek grinned as he grabbed the ends of Craig’s chullo and pulled him in for another kiss. “Sorry for d-drinking your paint that one time. You r-really should have told me since I WILL drink anything in coffee form.”

—————————————

Even the straight out turf war between the Underpants Gnomes and Crab People that took place over the weekend wasn’t enough to deter the happiness both Craig and Tweek felt at being able to attend the same college. Tweek definitely stepped up well to managing the entire coffee shop for the entire weekend with minimal problems and was even able to squash several gnomes with the hundred pound bags of coffee beans and scalded at least five crab people with hot coffee, effectively killing one, when the creatures invaded the shop Saturday afternoon.

The two did feel bad eating the crab person that Tweek had killed, especially since it HAD talked, but the two boys had been living on leftover spaghetti, coffee shop food, and greasy hamburgers for the past several days and the smell of cooked crab had enticed them too much to let the dead creature go to waste. And after seeing the shell remnants, Craig’s art muse itched.

It was Sunday afternoon when Tweek’s parents came home and came to the shop to relieve the boys.

“So boys…anything interesting happen?”

Tweek smiled at his mom as he pulled off his apron. “Craig and I g-got into the art school in Denver like we wanted!”

The woman beamed at the two as she glanced at the corner of the counter. “That’s great! I knew you two could do it! Anything else happen?”

Craig grinned as he handed the safe and register keys to Tweek’s dad. “Tweek did an excellent job at running the entire shop. He’ll definitely be able to run this shop once we get out of college.”

Richard joined his wife into glancing at the corner of the counter. “Anything else you might want to tell us?”

Tweek clapped his hands. “Oh! There’s some leftover c-crab meat in the freezer if you want it. It’s all fully cooked. Love you both!”

The two teens exited the shop before Craig stepped back in and emptied the tip jar into his pocket, putting the empty jar back in the new tip jar holder; the stuffed shell of the Crab Person wearing the stitched together clothes of the gnomes Tweek had killed.

Chapter Text

“I forgot to tell you this earlier, but thank you for coming with me to help me pick my prom dress out Tweek. It means a lot, even IF you have no fashion sense like you claim.”

Tweek smiled softly at Wendy as the two walked out of the third dress shop of the day once they had arrived in Denver. “It’s no problem Wendy. I still have to find a replacement v-vest for Craig since Streak decided to chew and nest on his. I told h-him to hang it up, but noooooo, he just had to set it on the desk next to her cage. I’m surprised Kyle l-let you use his car. He loves that thing more than y-you and Stan sometimes.”

Wendy chuckled. “And his ass. Don’t forget about his ass. Ever since Christmas, we’ve both had to treat it like it’s sacred or something. And Kyle figured might as well let me get used to driving in Denver since I’m the only person he trusts to drive his car besides him and you guys might have an emergency or something. I can be at your apartment from my dorm in ten minutes if I power walk.

“You know we wouldn’t have m-minded you moving in with us.”

Wendy nodded. “I know. But my mom and dad are still iffy on the subject of me living with guys, even if two of them are my boyfriends. They still say that one boyfriend will interfere with my schoolwork, two is really pushing it, and if I actually lived with them, then I shouldn’t bother with college since I’ll be too busy “making out with them” to pay attention. I’m fine living in the dorm just to appease them on that matter. And it’s not like I’m not going to see you guys everyday anyway.”

——————————–

The two stopped for lunch at a small cafe before heading to the fourth dress shop, hoping that something popped out for Wendy and Tweek could find the particular blue vest Craig had wanted to wear under his tuxedo.

Wendy walked out of the dressing room in the full length green dress and spun around. “How about this one?”

Tweek shook his head. “It does look good on you, b-but it’ll clash with Kyle’s hair.”

The girl rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Damn his red hair! That’s why we’re even in Denver in the first place since all the other dresses in South Park didn’t work either.”

Tweek smiled softly. “We’ll find one, don’t worry.”

———————–

As Wendy perused the racks of dresses again, Tweek wandered into the men’s section to see if a suitable vest was in the store so Craig wouldn’t have to wear the boring black one that came with the tuxedo he had rented.

It had been Craig’s idea for all the guys to wear colored vests to add variety to the boring tuxedos they had rented for prom and him and Tweek had selected a nice dark blue and emerald green respectively to wear.

Unfortunately, Craig had decided to set his vest he bought on his desk next to Streak’s cage in Tweek’s old room and the guinea pig took it upon herself to claim the article of clothing and make a nest out of the satiny material.

Craig had been in a funk about it since a replacement one bought online wouldn’t have got there in time for prom, but Wendy had saved the day having been too busy to go dress shopping with the rest of her friends and had waited til the Sunday before prom to get one. Since Tweek didn’t have a therapist appointment on Tuesday, he had traded working that day to go with Wendy to Denver since the dress shops in South Park had already been picked clean of suitable dresses to try to find a replacement vest.

The three shops the two had been in didn’t have anything that caught Wendy’s eye and the colored vests weren’t quite the right color. There were only five shops in Denver and this was the fourth. The two had hoped to have at least find something, but so far, nothing was suitable.

After going through the first vest rack of the fourth store, Tweek sighed. Most were the standard black and any of the different colored ones were either too small or too big and there would be no time to alter the garment.

Tweek began to start on the second rack when a swirly pattern caught his eye. The blond scooted the other vests out of the way and his eyes gazed on a vest that was made with blue swirly fabric, almost looking like the galaxy Craig had painted for one of his art projects. The blond smiled as he took a picture and sent it to the noirette, hoping it was a good replacement.

A few minutes later, Craig responded with several hearts. Tweek shook his head as he grabbed the dress off the rack and turned around to head back in the girl section to see if Wendy had any luck.

Tweek stopped as he stared straight ahead at the side wall of the store where he knew Wendy hadn’t been to yet. The girl had wanted something simple, so she was staying clear of the more poofier dresses, but the one that caught Tweek’s eyes was just perfect for Wendy, regardless of preference.

The blond made a beeline to the purple dress and delicately took it off the rack it had been hanging on and set off to the dressing rooms. “Wendy!”

The girl in question came out of the dressing room, a dark blue dress in her arm that was quickly put on the reject rack beside her. “Yeah Tweek? I-”

Tweek shoved the dress at her. “This. This is your dress Wendy.”

Wendy furrowed her eyebrows as she held it out. “Tweek, I really didn’t want a poofy dress.”

“Just…try it on?”

The girl looked in Tweek’s eyes and sighed, before turning around and going back into the dressing room.

Several minutes went by and Wendy still hadn’t come out of the room, causing Tweek concern enough to finally approach when he heard the girl make a worrying sound and knocked on the door. “Wendy? Are you okay?”

He heard shuffling and heard the door click and open and Wendy came out wearing the dress. Her eyes were slightly red and she sniffed a bit as she slowly turned in the dress.

“It’s perfect Wendy.”

Wendy turned to look at the blond before closing the gap between them and pulled Tweek into a hug. “I know. I started crying as soon as I saw myself in the mirror. Thank you so much Tweek.”

“I do believe Stan and Kyle w-will be rendered speechless by how drop dead gorgeous you’re gonna look come Prom Night.”

Wendy smiled as she pulled away. “So, you find a replacement vest for Craig?”

Tweek responded by holding up the galaxy vest. “It’s not the solid blue h-he wanted, but judging from the fifteen hearts he sent after I sent a picture of it, this one will do.”

——————————

“Don’t poke my eye o-out Ruby!”

The redhead scoffed as she backed away to wait for Tweek to calm down and stop giving her the death glare before finishing up with applying the eyeliner to his eyes. “Tweek, this was YOUR idea, you know. I’m not gonna poke your eye out.”

“Yet.”

Ruby rolled her eyes as she went back to finishing the second eye. “Okay, you’re done. I’m sure Craig’s already finished and waiting in the living room.”

Tweek stood up and pulled Ruby into a hug, a gesture that the girl easily accepted. “Thank you Ruby.”

The two walked down the stairs and whatever Craig had been talking to Thomas about immediately stopped as Craig saw Tweek. The noirette smiled and closed the gap between the two, embracing the blond and giving him a kiss on the forehead, before moving to place one on Tweek’s lips.

“You look so damn gorgeous right now.”

“I could s-say the same to you.”

The moment was broken as Laura waved her camera near them. “Okay boys! I need to get pictures of you two before you leave. Tweek, do your parents still want copies or are you going to get some at the coffee shop?”

“I know mom brought her camera to w-work today, but they might not have time to take any, so I’d appreciate it.”

Laura smiled and nodded as she instructed the two to stand near the staircase and took a few pictures, making sure they were perfect, before telling them exactly how to stand and look for the next set.

Tweek was slightly shaking as Craig put his arm around him. “You okay Muffin?”

The blond smiled softly. “I just…never thought m-my life would have ever got to this point. It’s…a bit scary to be honest.”

Craig rubbed Tweek’s arm. “It’ll be okay Tweek, trust me.”

Once Laura was done, the two began to walk out the door so they could meet with Clyde and his date, a girl he had met while they were on a college tour in Boulder a few weeks ago.

Thomas stopped Craig before he walked out. “Oh Craig, we got together with Tweek’s parents and got you two something. We know you kids like to do certain activities after prom, so we all chipped in and got you a motel. It’s at the one close to the activity center. It’s under your name and it’s all paid for. Stay safe kids.”

Craig stared wide-eyed at his dad for a split second as he felt the grip Tweek had on him tighten. “Uh….thanks dad. Um…yeah… We’ll…yeah…”

The noirette quickly ushered Tweek out of the house and began to walk quickly toward Clyde’s house.

————————————–

“Craig? Um…”

Craig stopped and turned around once he realized Tweek wasn’t beside him. He frowned slightly at the flustered and agitated look on his boyfriend’s face. He lightly put his hand on the blond’s shoulder. “Look Tweek…about that…”

Tweek squirmed as he whined and curled in on himself. “They’re e-expecting us t-to…to…even my parents…”

“We don’t HAVE to do anything Tweek, if you’re not comfortable. You know that dude.”

“But…”

Craig lifted Tweek’s head and lightly placed a kiss on his nose. “Tweek… Muffin… You know I would never make you do something you’re not comfortable with, especially that. And to be honest, I’d rather have our first time be somewhere meaningful and not a shitty motel room after we watch our friends act like idiots after getting “accidentally” drunk on spiked punch.”

“The punch is g-gonna be spiked!?”

Craig chuckled. “Yeah…that’s what usually happens. Stick with water or a beverage from the vending machines at the center. They do have coffee drinks there if you need them. And…I do have a full dose of your pills in my inner vest pocket should you need them.”

—————————————

“Clyde, dude! You were right about Craig and Tweek cleaning up nice!”

Craig and Tweek looked at each other as the pale blonde girl wearing a beautiful black and white dress that was Clyde’s date came bounding up to the two. “Let’s see…Feldspar the Thief and Tweek the Barbarian, I believe it was. Right?”

The noirette raised his eyebrow. “Uh…do we know you?”

Clyde started to laugh as he came up and put his arm around the girl. “Dudes! Are you seriously gonna tell me you don’t recognize Dova? I mean she was only around for like a year, but still!”

Craig looked over to the girl again before looking over at Clyde again. “Dova…?”

The girl rolled her eyes as she lightly punched Craig in the arm. “I believe you guys referred to me as “King Douchebag” if my memory serves me correctly. I totally kicked your ass that one time.”

Craig and Tweek’s eyes grew wide as the two remembered the stoic pale blonde kid that played their fantasy game with them way back in the Fourth Grade.

“Wait…you were a girl this whole time!?”

Dova chuckled at Craig. “Uh…yeah?”

“Why d-didn’t you say anything?!”

The girl shrugged. “You guys were more fun to hang out with than the girls were. All they wanted to do was talk about boys and makeup. I just wanted to hit things. Like that giant Nazi zombie fetus… That was awesome…”

Clyde grinned as he looked to Dova. “I seriously thought she had looked familiar at the beginning of our tour, but when some obvious douchebag jocks started trying to harass and annoy her and she pulled out the freaking Dragon Shout on their asses, I immediately remembered who she was!”

“Good old fart powers come in so handy for situations like that! Coupled with still having that alien probe in my ass that can teleport me places, college should be a piece of cake if guys try to bother me.”

——————————————

Ten minutes later, the four teens climbed in the back of the limo that Token had rented, greeting both him and Nichole as they made their way to the coffee shop so Tweek and Craig could stop off for quick pictures, before they made their way to the activity center.

The six teens had barely stepped out of the limo and it drove off, when another one pulled up and Stan’s group stepped out. Cartman and Heidi had decided to go together since all the guys that tried asking the girl had been real jerks to the brunette as they asked and it had pissed Cartman off to see his ex being treated that way. Even though they had broken up shortly after getting together in Fourth Grade, the two had still remained good friends.

To say Wendy looked absolutely stunning between Kyle and Stan was an understatement. The purple dress accented the wine red and medium blue vests Kyle and Stan were wearing respectively. Stan looked mainly the same, but Kyle… Somehow Kyle had tamed the massive Jew-fro into something quite manageable.

Kyle chuckled. “I actually enlisted Nichole and Bebe’s help on this. Three hours this morning, using both Nichole and Bebe’s straighteners. I have newfound respect for both of them for being so patient with me.”

“Hey nerds! Like the duds?”

The group turned around as Kenny and Butters walked up and all the guys groaned as they realized WHY exactly the two had claimed wearing an orange and baby blue vest respectively. Kenny and Butters were dressed like Lloyd and Harry from Dumb and Dumber, top hats and everything.

Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose. “So this is the reason why you wouldn’t let us pick you guys up?”

Kenny smiled. “I wanted a group reaction. And you guys performed beautifully.”

—————————————

Prom was in full swing when the group went in and the group went their separate ways to talk and mingle with the rest of the Juniors and Seniors that went.

Craig and Tweek found a table set up in the corner next to one of the exit doors and furthest away from the dance floor. Tweek sat down and cradled the still warm coffee he had got from the coffee shop.

“You doing okay Tweek?”

Tweek looked over to Craig and nodded. “Just a bit overwhelmed. I kn-know they’re just our friends, but it’s just… I really never expected to come to prom this year, m-much less actually have a date or have a group of friends to g-go with. I probably would’ve been working or at h-home playing video games. That’s what I did last year.”

Craig smiled softly as he scooted his chair next to Tweek’s and pulled the blond closer to him as he captured Tweek’s lips in a deep kiss. “If only we knew then what we do now. I stayed home last year too. We…really should have still been fri-”

“Craig, no. Stop blaming yourself for things you couldn’t control or predict. I mean who knows if o-our relationship would have evolved to this point if we had st-still stayed friends all those years. Personally, despite all the b-bad, I’m glad of everything that happened. I love you Craig.”

“I love you too Tweek.”

———————————-

The two were set to just sit there and watch everyone else dance, but damn Clyde’s puppy dog look came rearing its ugly head as well as Dova’s infectious ability to not say no to her, so Tweek and Craig were dragged on the dance floor for some of the party songs that played.

After several songs had played and Craig was completely socially interaction-ed out, the noirette moved to make his way back to the table.

“Craig…how about one slow song? I like this s-song.”

“Okay.”

Craig stopped and Tweek moved closer to the teen and the two began to slowly and awkwardly dance as Pop Evil’s Monster You Made began playing.

By the middle of the song, the two knew they were horrible at dancing with slow songs as Tweek had stepped on Craig’s feet at least three times and Craig had accidentally pulled on the blond’s hair.

Tweek chuckled. “We’re terrible.”

Craig smiled as he glanced around the room. “At least neither of us had a long dress on to step on. I think I would have tripped over yours if you had worn one.”

The blond rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Well to be honest, I’d pr-probably go the route Dova did with hers. The bottom can completely r-rip off to reveal a pair of shorts she has underneath in case zombies attack.”

“Zombies?”

“Remember that happened in the f-first few days she moved here? And that Clyde was the one th-that made them? Yeah…she came prepared.”

Craig grinned. “And she actually accepted the offer to go to prom with him? I think Clyde finally found the one.”

————————————————

“You sure you don’t just want to go home Tweek? We totally can you know. Our parents should have talked to us before they got this…”

Tweek looked up from his blanket cocoon and shook his head. “They p-paid for it so we should use it. Even if we…don’t use it…”

Craig plopped down on the bed as Tweek extended his arm to allow Craig into his blanket cocoon and the two laid propped up on the bed, surrounded by blankets, as Craig flipped the channels on the shitty TV in the room. “I really should have prepared better and grabbed us a change of clothes. Sorry dude.”

“We would have eventually j-just slept with each other in boxer shorts. Now seems appropriate since we’ve got parental expectations.”

The noirette rolled his eyes. “Fuck parental expectations. We’ll have sex when we’re ready. Besides, I didn’t even bring lube or anything. I’m NOT fucking you with wherever the fuck its been lotion from the bathroom.”

Tweek raised his eyebrow. “And who says YOU’D b-be the one fucking?”

Craig gave a glance to the blond beside him. “Tweek…this is a damn compliment, but I really think once we finally do the deed, you’re gonna be one kinky little fucker.”

An hour later, after watching some stupid movie and eating delivery pizza, Tweek straightened the covers and the two laid down to hopefully get some sleep on the less than comfortable mattress.

Tweek sighed. “I wonder how everyone e-else is doing? Sorry we had to leave early, but I was getting a bit tired.”

Craig smiled as he wove his fingers through Tweek’s hair. “It’s fine Muffin. I seriously was getting tired too. And really, once Wendy was crowned Prom Queen and Stan and Kyle were crowned King, it was pretty much over anyway.”

Tweek hummed as he curled up into Craig’s bare chest, slightly licking the skin to make Craig shiver.

“You are an ass Tweek.”

Tweek chuckled. “I know.”

——————————————–

The two were nearly asleep when the telltale sound of mattress squeaking sounded from the far wall. Tweek whined as Craig rubbed the teen’s bare shoulders. “Just pretend it’s Streak and she’s really active tonight.”

A few minutes later, moaning began to come from the wall next to their bathroom. “J-Just Underpants Gnomes after you kicked their asses.”

“Beam me up Scotty!”

“Uh… Actually Scotty never sa-”

“We’ll have the Star Trek talk AFTER you fuck me Kevin!”

Craig sat up, shaking and eye twitching as he stared at the ceiling.

Tweek sat up as he placed his hand gently on Craig’s arm. “Craig…that’s n-not…”

“Oh god! PC really DOES stand for Pussy Crusher!”

Upon hearing the words behind him, Craig jumped out of bed. “Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. We’re not doing this. Nope. Tweek, get dressed. Nope. Nope. Nope. Fuck this shit. We’re out. Nooooope.”

————————————————-

Once the two were safely at home and in the warm comfortableness of actual clothes and their own bed, Tweek handed Craig a sleeping pill. “This might h-help. I know I need one. I’m still wound up.”

“I need brain bleach. Hearing Kenny and Butters as well as our Prom royalty fucking was okay, but I did NOT want to hear my cousin doing that. And I especially did not want to hear our elementary and high school principals going at it either.”

“Makes me w-wonder if Clyde and Token got lucky as well.”

Craig chuckled. “I don’t know about Token but Clyde sent me this picture while we were walking home.”

The noirette handed Tweek his phone showing the blond the picture of the selfie of Clyde and Dova at the Voodoo Doughnut in Denver proudly displaying the buttons they got for finishing the Tex-Ass Challenge donut.

“H-How did they even get to Denver?”

“That teleporting probe thing. It apparently goes pretty far according to Clyde.”

Tweek smiled as he settled down in the blankets. “You were r-right. Clyde has found the one.”

Chapter Text

Tweek hesitantly walked into Mr. Mackey’s office and was surprised to see Kyle already sitting down in one of the chairs in front of their counselor’s desk. “Y-You wanted to see me?”

Mr. Mackey smiled and pointed at the vacant seat next to Kyle. “Sit down Tweek. I’ve got some things to discuss with the two of you, m’kay?”

“We’re not in trouble, are w-we?”

The counselor shook his head. “Quite the opposite in fact. We’ve compiled all your graduating class’s grades and Kyle, you had the highest grades with a GPA of 3.99. That means you’ve been chosen as the Valedictorian, m’kay. Congratulations young man.”

Kyle’s face lit up. “Wow…I’d figure Wendy or Token would’ve been pretty close. We’ve been pretty neck and neck on our grades. So, who got Salutatorian? It’s one of them, isn’t it?”

Mr. Mackey chuckled and shook his head. “Actually, Token had the third highest grades and Wendy had the fourth highest grades. Tweek actually beat Token out by a slim margin. Both of you had a 3.98, so we had to dig deep into your elementary grades. Tweek ended up scoring one point higher on a test the two of you took in Fourth Grade. You’re the Salutatorian Tweek. Congratulations.”

Tweek looked at the man with wide eyes as he began to shake in his seat. “What!? That…that c-can’t be right! Token’s way smarter than me! This has to be a mistake. I c-can’t be…”

“You are Tweek, trust me, m’kay? We’ve spent weeks calculating everyone’s GPA’s and that test paper was the tie breaker for you and Token. It’s over and done with, m’kay? Now…telling you two wasn’t all I wanted to talk to you about. Since you are Valedictorian and Salutatorian, you’ll both have to give a speech to your graduating class. Since Graduation is at the end of the month, you have about three weeks to write up a speech. Closer to Graduation, we’ll be handing out a paper on the list of what will be happening that day, but Tweek, you’ll be first on giving your speech followed by Kyle. I look forward to hearing what you come up with.”

Tweek curled up in his seat and took deep breaths, causing Kyle concern as he leaned over and began rubbing the blond’s shoulder. Tweek looked up at the equally concerned counselor.

“I can’t be Mr. Mackey! N-Not with what h-happened to me and my parents! Not with what w-was going on before and after th-that happened! It’s a joke, right? Please tell m-me that I’m not actually…”

Mr. Mackey gave the blond a small smile. “It’s not a joke, m’kay. And everything that happened won’t affect your school performance here. That was all out of your control and it wasn’t your fault. It did come up but was quickly ruled out to go against you and your grades.”

Kyle furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to coax Tweek into uncurling himself. “Tweek? What happened?”

Tweek shivered as he looked at Kyle’s concerned face. “I… It’s…it’s nothing Kyle. F-Forget I said anything… It’s just… I’m just in shock. It’ll pass. Sorry for freaking you b-both out.”

———————————–

Tweek rubbed his eyes and he took another deep breath before returning to the book they were reading in AP English, trying to ebb away the nauseating feeling in his body he had had since first period when he had been called into Mr. Mackey’s office.

He hadn’t told anyone what had transpired in the office, not even Craig, since Kyle and he decided to tell everyone the good news at lunchtime when their entire group was present.

There was still a sour feeling in Tweek’s conscience even though he had eventually gave in and accepted he was named Salutatorian. The feeling intensified each time he looked at Token sitting beside him. One point. One point on a test in Elementary had cost one of his best friend’s a title that Tweek’s college of choice probably wouldn’t care about but Token’s would.

“I don’t deserve it.”

“No you don’t. You took away something from your friend that you didn’t want and that he really needed to look good for school. And you cheated to get it.”

Shit. Tweek closed his eyes as he tried to ignore the negative voice in his head.

“One measly point on a test. And if Token had done better, you still would have beat Wendy too. You know how hard they worked in class. How much more popular they are than you ever were. And you cheated them out of what they deserved.”

Tweek took a deep breath. “I…I didn’t cheat them out of it. We had the same papers, the same tests.”

“But they had to put up with Mr. Garrison all that time. You, on the other hand, got to move to the easier and tamer class without him and without all the troublemakers. You didn’t earn your grades like they did, you didn’t have to struggle with having an incompetent teacher like they did. They put in more hard work than you did. Do you really think they’ll be happy for you when they find out what you took from them?”

“Stop it.”

“Do you really think Token’s still gonna be your friend after he finds out? He’s pushed himself so much to get where he is, only for you to take what should have been his away from him. He’ll resent you for this. He’ll hate you for this. And, since he’s more Craig’s friend than yours, he’ll probably make him choose between you two. You may be Craig’s boyfriend, but him and Token have been friends a lot longer than you two have. Who do you think Craig will choose?”

Tweek put his hands on his head and rubbed his face, taking shaky breaths, and trying to prevent from crying. “Th-They won’t do that. They promised me that they wouldn’t leave me. That they wouldn’t abandon me again.”

“Do you really believe that? Do you really believe their words? They did it before and they’d do it again. What do you even have to offer? Nothing. There’s nothing special about a former meth addicted kid. The ONLY reason Craig even tolerated you for this long was because he felt obligated to hang out with you because you saved his life. Otherwise…you’d still be the same pathetic loser you’ve been since they abandoned you the first time.”

Tweek whimpered as his hands moved to grip in his hair. “Pl-Please stop. You’re wrong. I am important to them. To Craig. He’s-”

“You pushed yourself on him. You manipulated him into falling in love with you. He only sees you as an overgrown guinea pig and you know he can’t resist them. You pushed yourself into sleeping in his bed every night because it benefited you. Because you’re just a fucking coward that can’t stomach a few pills every night. He was going to give up basketball for you and got you that guitar. He gave up a full scholarship for you just so you two could go to the same school. Everything he’s doing is for you and you’ve done nothing to pay back what he’s sacrificed.”

Tears pricked his eyes as his breathing got more erratic. “St-Stop it.”

A hand was gently placed on his shoulder and Tweek flinched as he turned his head to see Token’s concerned face.

“Dude, are you okay?”

Tweek’s breathing hitched as Token’s concerned face seemed to morph into one of anger.

“Look, you pissed Token off. All he’s trying to do is read his book and you’re causing a scene. No wonder he lost Salutatorian to you. You kept distracting him with your annoying bullshit. He’s only “concerned” so he can placate you into stopping this attention seeking nonsense. Just wait until he finds out you cheated him out of one of the highest honors high school could give. And you know…he knows about your little addiction problem. Who’s to say that he couldn’t find a way to make that count against you? It doesn’t matter what Mr. Mackey said, Token’s dad’s a lawyer. I’m sure Mr. Black could find some way to take what wasn’t yours to begin with to give rightfully to his son.”

Tears rolled down his face as he looked at Token in anguish. “I’m s-sorry T-Token. I d-didn’t m-mean to…to t-take…”

“Take what? Tweek?”

Tweek saw Token reach out to him and he flinched violently as he stood up and backed up against the wall, staring wide-eyed at the teen. He started breathing heavily as he choked out a sob, wrapping his arms around himself. “I’m s-sorry! Pl-Please don’t h-hate m-me! I d-didn't...”

“Of course he’s going to hate you. You can’t even tell Token what you took from him. Still a fucking coward as always. And now you’re causing a scene like you used to always do in Elementary. All of your friends are definitely going to abandon you now. This was the exact fucking reason they left you the first time. They’ll probably suggest a mental institution for this little outburst and then everyone will find out about your medical history and your precious little secret you and your parents have hid from the town will finally be brought in the light. Did you really think there would never be repercussions for that? Goodbye college, goodbye coffee shop, and goodbye future. You might as well say goodbye to your boyfriend too. Craig doesn’t want some pathetic substance abuser that’s insane. You really should have killed yourself before all this happened like you had wanted to at the first of the school year. Everyone would have been much better off if you weren't here to fuck everything up.”

Tweek began to sob as he slid down the wall and curled up, gripping his hair painfully. “Stop it…pl-please…st-stop it…”

————————————————

Token tried to keep calm as he saw Tweek undoubtedly having a panic attack. He had heard both Tweek and Craig mention times the blond would have them, but hadn’t really ever been around when Tweek had one. His heart clenched at seeing his friend in this state and he was about to run out of the room to get Craig, who he knew would be the only one that could to help, when he noticed their teacher try to approach the sobbing teen out of the corner of his eye.

“Don’t touch him! It’ll only make this worse!”

The teen moved in front of Tweek as a barrier between the blond and the rest of class. He looked over to Cartman. “Cartman, can you go get Craig? He’s in Spanish right now. He’s the only one that can help Tweek through this.”

The large teen nodded and quickly left the room, despite their teacher’s protest.

Token turned around and knelt down, keeping a small distance away so he wouldn’t startle Tweek. “Tweek, dude…whatever happened, it’s gonna be okay. Cartman went to get Craig. He’ll be here soon.”

Tweek’s broken sobbing was the only answer Token got.

———————————

Craig groaned inwardly as he stared at his Spanish textbook, wishing the damn thing didn’t exist and that he was anywhere but here. He knew their teacher was just punishing them by assigning them an entire two chapters to study for a test the next Monday, since from the beginning of May, everyone seemed to slack off on schoolwork.

The noirette spared a glance to Clyde, who was covertly texting on his phone, the probable candidate being Dova since the two had begun to talk and Skype every day since Prom.

Craig smiled as he saw Clyde roll his eyes and groan before snickering at a particular text, confirming it was the girl, happy that Clyde had finally possibly found someone in his life after having such bad luck with all the girls at their school.

The moment was short lived as Cartman ran into the room and looked straight at him.

“Craig! It’s Tweek! He’s having a bad panic attack!”

Craig didn’t even register even getting up or running out of the room until he realized he was already in Tweek’s classroom, heart clenching as he saw the shivering mass that was his boyfriend whimpering and crying. He closed the distance between himself and Tweek in seconds, kneeling down and getting as close as he could to the blond.

He looked over to Token, who he was grateful had kept a fairly good distance from Tweek. “Can you hand me his backpack?”

The black teen nodded and shuffled over to Tweek’s desk, grabbing the backpack and shoving toward Craig. Craig opened the bag and grabbed the bottle of water he made Tweek carry around with him and removed Tweek’s emergency pills from the secret pocket and shifted closer to the blond.

“Tweek? Muffin? Can I get closer to you? Do you want me to hold you?”

Craig focused all his attention on the tiniest hint of what Tweek wanted. Finally, after a minute of hearing the teen’s whimpers, Tweek’s breathing hitched and the softest whispered yes came out of the blond’s mouth.

Despite permission, Craig made sure to move slowly to not freak the teen out more than he was, making sure to stop if Tweek made the slightest movement or noise that he was uncomfortable. It seemed like an eternity before Craig was in touching range and the noirette made sure Tweek was calm enough to understand him.

“Okay Tweek, first thing is you need to stop gripping at your hair. I know it’s got to be pretty painful right now. I’m going to touch your hands now, first your left and then your right. Okay?”

Craig waited for the tiny nod before slowly touching Tweek’s left hand, stilling his hand once touching Tweek’s when the teen slightly flinched. Craig repeated the process with Tweek’s right hand and slowly began to rub circles in the tense flesh as he slowly got Tweek to lessen his grip on his hair and pulled the blond’s hands away.

He lightly kissed each hand before rubbing more soothing circles in Tweek’s palms as he heard Tweek’s whimpers start to lessen.

“Okay, I know I already asked, but do you want me to hold you?”

Tweek’s response time was slightly faster as the blond shakily looked up, showing the noirette his dilated pupils and nodded and Craig slowly shifted so he was sitting beside the teen before gently coaxing Tweek to lay his head against his chest as the blond latched on to him.

Craig slowly lifted his hand and began to slowly run his fingers through Tweek’s hair, pausing when the teen flinched or whimpered.

“I’ve got your anxiety pill and your sleeping pill. Do you want to take either of them?

“B-Both.”

Craig held out his hand and the blond shakily took the pills out of his hand and put them in his mouth, swallowing them with the water bottle Craig had handed him a moment later.

“I-I’m s-sorry. Pl-Please don’t leave m-me.”

Craig closed his eyes as he took a deep breath, trying to will away his own tears from hearing just how broken Tweek had sounded as he uttered the words.

“I’m not going to ever leave you Tweek. I promised, remember? You’re stuck with my shitty self forever.”

“Y-You deserve b-better. I’m a w-worthless p-piece of sh-shit. I sh-shouldn’t b-be alive.”

Craig placed several light kisses across Tweek’s forehead. “You’re not a worthless piece of shit Tweek. I’m glad you’re alive and here. Your brain is just having a momentary lapse of remembering to be good and not being shitty to its owner. We’ll wire it up with caffeine later on, okay?”

The blond shivered and sniffled on top of him as Craig softly rubbed soothing circles in Tweek’s shoulder and rubbed the teen’s neck.

“T-Token h-hates m-me.”

Craig momentarily looked up to Token, narrowing his eyebrows in confusion and watched as the black teen just shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. The noirette waited until Tweek’s breathing evened out again.

“Why do you think Token hates you? He doesn’t for the record. He’s very concerned about you, just like everyone else is.”

He saw Tweek blink slowly a few times before finally closing his eyes as his breathing slowed even more, signalling the combination of pills was taking effect. “T-Took Sal…torian fr-frm…im…”

Craig frowned as Tweek fell asleep on him and looked over to Token. “Normally I can decipher Tweek speak, but I have no idea what he just said. Something about taking something from you. Did he take anything?”

Token shook his head. “Not that I’m aware of. What now?”

The noirette sighed and shifted to get his phone out of his back pocket. “I know he hates missing school, but he needs to be home. I can watch him better and make sure he’s got everything he needs to distract his mind from shitting itself again. I hope it’s not too busy at the coffee shop for mom to come get us.”

Token leaned down and waved his car keys in Craig’s face. “Dude, take the car. I trust you.”

“Are you sure?”

“He needs home and you right now. Nothing else matters except making sure he’ll be okay. I can come pick up the car after school or do you need Clyde and me to stay with you guys for anything?”

Craig shifted until he had a good grip on Tweek before slowly standing up and cradling the blond against his chest. “I… I think that might actually be a good idea. Usually, these pass after a few hours, the longest has been half a day. But… it’s never been THIS bad before. Something big caused him to panic this bad and judging from him thinking you hate him, he probably began to hallucinate. I don’t think I’ll be able to leave him alone at all until this fully passes. I’m gonna need help hiding the more dangerous things in the house.”

Token’s eyes widened. “Craig…he’s not-”

The noirette sighed as he looked into Tweek’s sleeping but still fretful face. “It’s…just a precaution he actually told me to do when he got like this. Hide all his medicine from him and hide anything sharp or dangerous. But since I don’t think I’ll be able to let him out of my sight for a second in case he wakes up and I’m not there, I’m gonna need help.”

Token nodded as he patted Craig on the back. “Okay dude, we’ll be there after school. We’ll bring your stuff with us. Take care of him, okay?”

—————————————

Getting Tweek home and up the stairs was the easy part since the teen barely weighed anything. Craig looked at the clock as he removed the unconscious blond’s clothes from him and dressed Tweek in his favorite pair of pajamas, grateful that it didn’t rouse the teen from sleep.

Sparing one glance at Tweek to make sure he was still completely asleep, Craig quickly left the room and grabbed a couple of bottles of water and a can of soda from the kitchen before returning and setting himself next to the sleeping teen on the bed, grateful that Streak was at the coffee shop. He sent a text to both of Tweek’s parents, letting them know the situation and then another one to Token to tell the teen he had left the front door open for him and Clyde later on.

Taking a sip of the soda, Craig leaned back on the bed and looked over to the sleeping blond, running his fingers through Tweek’s wild hair to get it out of his face. Tweek’s face scrunched up in pain and Craig moved his hand in further to massage the teen’s head.

“It’s gonna be okay Tweek. I’m here. You’re gonna be fine. We’re gonna get through this like we always do Muffin. I promise.”

Chapter Text

“I lied to you.”

Tweek’s normally bright emerald eyes looked dead as he stared listlessly at Craig, making the noirette’s heart clench. It wasn’t just his eyes. His hair looked dull and even his skin looked ashen. It looked like all the color and life had been drained out of the teenager as he laid unmoving on the bed.

“Tweek?”

“I lied to you about not having an urge to kill myself. I did. I did at the beginning of the school year. I had no friends to talk to, no plans for my future. All I knew how to do was make coffee. What kind of fucking life was that? I had planned to do it once dad found another night person so they’d only have to find one person to take my place. I was just going to take all my pills on a night I was off. Once they got home, it would have been too late to save me.”

Craig shifted his body so he could fully look at Tweek. His eyes softened as he gently held one of Tweek’s cold hands, very concerned about Tweek’s lack of stuttering and his confession.

“Tweek…Muffin… If you think I’m gonna be mad at you for not telling me that, you’re wrong. I’m not. If anything, I’m proud that you’re comfortable enough to finally tell me.”

The blond closed his eyes and pulled his hands away. “I’m a worthless piece of shit. I’m a monster. I don’t deserve to live. I took so much from you without giving anything in return.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it Tweek.”

Tweek sat up and curled in on himself as he scoffed. “Is it Craig? Is it fucking really?”

Craig put his hand on Tweek’s shoulder, keeping his ground when the teen flinched, and squeezed it lightly. “Yeah, it is Tweek. Whatever negative voice in your head telling you that shit needs to fucking cut it out because you are not being yourself right now.”

“But it IS me Craig. That negative voice IS my voice. It has always fucking been there, nestled deep in my brain, waiting for a weak moment to strike. And no matter how many pills, how much therapy, how much you and everyone else tell me what a good person I am, that voice will NEVER go away. I’ll always be my own worse bully. I know this. I know this more than anyone else and there’s nothing I can fucking do to stop it.”

Craig sighed and scooted closer to Tweek, ignoring the blond’s protesting growl, and put his arm around his shoulder. “You’re right Tweek. There’s nothing you can do to stop this, but that’s why you have people to help.”

“You’ll all just abandon me again. After what I did…it’s only a matter of fucking t-time.”

“We’re not Tweek. We won’t abandon you again. We should have never done it in the first place and there will never be a day that I don’t feel immense guilt for hurting you like that. What happened dude?”

Tweek turned his head toward Craig for a second before going back to looking down as he picked at his fingernails. “Kyle and I got called into Mr. Mackey’s office today. Kyle’s Valedictorian.”

Craig chuckled. “Kind of figured it would have been Kyle. He’s always been the smartest of our class.”

“I’m Salutatorian.”

Craig’s eyes widened slightly as he began to smile. “Tweek! Dude, that’s-”

“One fucking p-point on a fucking test in Elementary. That’s how close Token and I were. I did better than him by one point. H-He deserves that title more than me. I took something from him that I d-didn’t even want. He’s more popular, more active in school, loads more attractive than me. He’s the perfect honor student, not a crazed former meth addicted teen that has to t-take a shitload of pills to even fucking function. Token will never forgive me for taking that from him.”

Craig began to rub Tweek’s shoulder. “Tweek…Token’s not going to hate you for that. He’s gonna be happy you-”

“No he fucking won’t Craig!”

Tweek pushed Craig away and pulled himself out of the bed. “No he won’t Craig! He won’t fucking b-be happy about it! All three of them; Kyle, Token, and Wendy; have worked so hard their entire school lives to be the best! And h-here’s just some fucked up loser that beats two of them in grades. Token WILL hate me for that and not want to be my friend and he’ll make you ch-choose between him and me. And I know you’ll pick him…you’ve b-been friends for so much longer… He’s completely normal and sane compared t-to me.”

“That’s not true Tweek. He’ll be happy and proud of you. And I’ll never leave you Muffin. I love you.”

“Fuck off!”

Before Craig could answer, the blond ran out of the room and across the hall into his old room, slamming the door and locking it.

—————————–

Shit.

This was bad. Really bad. Craig had been witness to several of Tweek’s panic attacks and the aftermath of them, where the teen had delved into a severe depressive bout of self loathing and borderline anger, but it had never been THIS bad.

He slid against the door to Tweek’s room and lightly knocked. “Tweek…Muffin, please…open the door.”

“Go away!”

The closeness of the voice and the dark imprint under the door told Craig that Tweek was sitting in front of his door. Craig took a deep breath and sighed. “No can do Tweek. I’m staying right here until you feel better.”

“W-Well…you’re just going to sit there forever then. Or until you get bored and leave.”

“It’s a good thing you’re not boring then, is it Tweek?”

He heard Tweek shuffle and heard a thump on the door, possibly the teen shifting so that he was sitting on his side. “Don’t l-lie to me Craig. I’m as interesting as a piece of paper.”

“Paper is just a blank slate for a whole world of possibilities. No matter how much you crumple it, cut it, rip it, mark it, and whatever, there’s still so much potential it has. Just like you dude.”

The other side of the door grew silent for several minutes before there was more shuffling, followed by a sniffle. “I took so much fr-from you.”

“You didn’t take anything from me Tweek, except my heart.”

A dry chuckle was uttered from the other side. “I just f-fucking manipulated you into loving me. I c-couldn’t sleep in my own damn bed and made you cuddle me, I couldn’t go one god damn day without something going on that made me nervous and made you have to c-comfort me. You had to sit here and listen to my bullshit pr-problems. You gave up so fucking much just f-for me and I gave nothing in return.”

“That’s not true Tweek.”

“Is it? You nearly gave up pl-playing basketball because you bought me that guitar, you gave up a full scholarship to a nice university to go t-to a shitty art college with me, shit…we forced y-you into working for the coffee shop and living here…even after you got offered to m-move back home. You should be angry with me…not love me.”

Craig shuffled so that he could be closer to the door and laid his head on it. “Tweek, those were MY own choices. Shit dude… That’s one thing we have in common from the first of the year, you know. I had no fucking clue what I wanted to do either. I fucking figured I’d just get a stupid job here bagging groceries at the grocery store. You changed that though, for the better. You changed me for the better.”

“I h-haven’t done anything to make anyone’s life better. I’m just a pathetic waste of existence. Just a leech to my friends, if I c-can call them that. They all have better friends. They don’t need some fucked up piece o-of shit that’s done nothing to better their lives. I shouldn’t be alive…”

The noirette sniffled and wiped his eyes on his sleeve, feeling the tears start to well up as he heard Tweek put himself down. “Tweek, you’re the reason I’m alive right now. You’re the reason I’m actually going to college to better myself and not be stuck in a dead end job in my stupid hometown. If you hadn’t been there for me all this time, I wouldn’t have the mending relationship with my parents and sister, I wouldn’t even know the real meaning of family. I wouldn’t have this amazing loving relationship with the love of my life. I love you Tweek.”

Craig put his hand under the door as much as he could. “And you’ve done so much to help everyone else. You finally got your family to be a family again. Kenny and Butters have a safe space to be together in the shop because of you. You were the one to stick up for Cartman and proved his innocence on something he didn’t do. Instead of being expelled, he’s going into law school. And because of me choosing not to accept that scholarship because of you, Kyle got to go to the same college as Stan and Wendy instead of the one his mom insisted on him going to all the way across the country.”

Cold fingers brushed against his warm ones and Craig turned his hand over to hold Tweek’s. “You helped Wendy pick out the most beautiful dress I think any of us have ever seen. You helped Token figure out exactly what he wanted to do for college. And don’t forget about making Clyde’s eight year birthday wish come true; to eat his mom’s lemon bars again, as well as finally convincing him that he could forgive himself for what happened to her. You’ve done all this Tweek. None of us would be where we are right now if you weren’t here.”

Tweek lightly squeezed Craig’s hand, causing Craig to squeeze back in response.

“Y-You’re the reason I’m alive right now too Craig.”

Tweek pulled his hand away and Craig heard shuffling and the lock clicked before the door opened. The noirette stood up and pulled the shaking and crying teen into a hug, clinging to the blond as much as Tweek was clinging to him.

“The Fr-Friday morning when everything happened… dad was gonna call up one of the applicants to the shop to have an interview. The girl had worked at a Harbucks b-before, so she had experience. He would have hired her Sunday. That next Tuesday…I w-would have…”

“I’m glad you didn’t Tweek.”

“I’m glad too.”

——————————

Token and Clyde found Craig and Tweek at the kitchen table, both teens nursing a large mug of tea. Tweek’s depression and migraine pills were on the table beside the teen’s hands and Tweek grabbed them and swallowed them with a large swig of tea.

“I’m n-not completely better yet. It’ll probably be hours before I don’t feel like complete shit.”

Craig reached over and put his hand on top of Tweek’s. “That gross ugly crying we did a few hours ago helped though. And the mass murder of every person in the world. Twice. With lemons and poop.”

“Don’t f-forget about being pimps to camgirls or seeing their tits when we dated them.”

Token and Clyde gave each other a glance as the two teens at the table chuckled.

Craig snorted. “We were playing Plague Inc, HunieCam Studio, and Huniepop. Relax.”

“Th-That’s what your Steam giftcard bought Token. Genocide and whores.”

Token chuckled softly as he shook his head and sat down at the table. “I’m glad you’re feeling better despite you still feeling bad. I was terrified this morning seeing you like that, especially since I knew I couldn’t do anything to help.”

Tweek swirled his tea as he frowned. “I’m sorry Token. I d-didn’t mean to scare you like that. I just… I fucking hate my brain sometimes. And…please don’t be mad.”

The black teen looked at Tweek with concern. “About what Tweek?”

Tweek closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I…I got Salutatorian. We got the same GPA, but I did b-better on a test we both had in Fourth Grade.”

The blond kept his eyes closed and braced himself for what Token had to say or do to him. He felt a hand gently ruffle his hair and opened his eyes, looking up to see Token smiling at him.

“Kyle told me when we got to lunch today. Congrats dude!”

“You’re m-mad at me, aren’t you? I’m sorry Token. I took it from you. I just-”

Token leaned down and pulled the blond into a hug. “Dude, I’m not mad. I’m happy for you. You deserve it so much!”

“Token… I-”

“Kyle also told me about what happened in the office and I kind of put two and two together. So, during my Study Hall, I went to Mr. Mackey and asked exactly what test you did better on. It was a Science test when we went over elements and basic chemical formulas. The question you beat me on was one of the bonus ones. Funnily enough, it was the formula for caffeine. So Tweek, you totally earned that one point to beat me.”

Tweek grimaced and looked down. “But you’re so m-much more popular and outgoing. I’m just-”

Craig got up and hugged the blond from the other side. “Tweek, you did this fair and square. And Token’s not mad like I told you. We’re all proud of you.”

Clyde moved from his seat and hugged Tweek from behind. “Yep! We’re all proud of our over caffeinated nerd. We totally need to celebrate! I say pizza! Or tacos!”

Craig glared at Clyde. “No tacos for you Clyde! I don’t want your nasty taco farts stinking up the house!”

The brunette pouted and grumbled. “Dova likes my taco farts…”

“Well Dova’s not here but we are and I’m not letting you stink up Tweek’s and my house with them! No tacos Clyde!”

Tweek closed his eyes and smiled softly as he raised his arms and embraced the arms surrounding him.

Chapter Text

“Gah! This is literally fucking impossible!”

Token looked up from his book and leaned over to check on Tweek’s speech process. “Alright Spongebob…”

The teen laughed as Tweek groaned and stuck his middle finger in his face before returning to the notebook in front of him. “It can’t be that hard Tweek. I thought you had ideas from all those speech links I gave you?”

Tweek rolled his eyes as he stabbed the piece of paper in front of him with his pen. “They’re all t-too preachy and robotic. And even IF I just based my speech l-like one of them, then there’s the problem of actually saying it without stuttering too bad.”

“You’re not stuttering too bad now Tweek. It’s gotten a whole lot better in the last month or so.”

The blond sighed and looked at Token. “Well, I hardly stutter when I’m w-with friends. I trust you guys. But I’m going to have to talk to pretty much the entire town. And strangers. And Satan.”

“Oh yeah…Damien IS in our class. I thought he didn’t care about the whole “school bullshit” since he was going to take over for his father one day and that kind of doesn’t require a diploma.”

Tweek chuckled. “Pip talked Damien into it after Satan t-told Pip he felt bad about him not being able to graduate with us and is letting him leave Hell for a few weeks to do it as sort of a graduation pr-present. I saw them in the hallway before English and talked to them.”

“That was nice of Satan to do that for Pip.”

The blond nodded. “Yeah, Pip told m-me that Satan took a shine to him and makes sure nothing happens to him since Pip’s apparently the only one th-that can convince Damien to get out of his room to do stuff.”

Tweek turned back to his notebook and glared at it. “How the hell did you even make this l-look easy Token? You really should have b-been the one-”

“Tweek, dude, we talked about this. I’m glad you got this. You deserve it.”

The blond sighed as he laid his head down. “Maybe if I could wr-write this goddamn speech, I’d feel better about that. Kyle’s already done with his! We’ve got like… a week before graduation and I’ve got nothing.”

Token put his hand and Tweek’s shoulder and squeezed. “Well, Kyle’s an overachiever. Don’t sweat it dude. You’ve got this.”

————————-

Tweek didn’t have this.

Tweek REALLY didn’t have this.

It was currently three am and Richard Vincent “Tweek” Tweak was still awake long after he really should have been in bed since he graduated later that day. Craig and Streak were in their room fast asleep, so Tweek was currently in his old room, at Craig’s art desk, staring at the blank piece of paper in his notebook.

He had read the links Token had given him, listened to Kyle practice his Valedictorian speech, and had even sat in on the last few City Hall meetings and had asked Mayor McDaniels for advice. Even the last two therapy meetings, that had helped wonders for his mental stability, didn’t help with getting his creative juices flowing.

So far, he still had a blank piece of paper in front of him and dwindling hours until he was supposed to stand in front of the hundreds of people that made up South Park, as well as family of each of his classmates that was graduating, and say a speech about how honored he was to be Salutatorian.

Public speaking had never been his thing. Speaking in general had never been his thing. Being in public was REALLY not his thing. The thought of standing there had shaken the teen down to his very last nerve, but surprisingly hadn’t triggered any sort of panic or anxiety attack from the notion.

Tweek sighed and leaned back in the chair as he rubbed his eyes before returning to his hunched position. He looked up, smiling softly at the art projects Craig had framed and hung up on the wall, his two favorites in the center of the art madness.

His favorite was Craig had painted him working behind the counter of the coffee shop in various shades of brown, the medium actually being coffee he used as watercolor.

The second favorite hadn’t been a school project but had been practice for the real project Craig had done. Craig had used the large pack of construction paper he had given to the noirette at Christmas to cut out and make crude paper versions of them holding hands in front of the coffee shop. There was absolutely no detail in the construction paper thems, only crude identifying features to tell it was them, such as Craig’s signature hat and Tweek’s wild hair. Their heads and hands were just circles and their bodies were just paper shapes with little details drawn in Sharpie.

Tweek wished he had the mental capacity to just go at something so spur of the moment like Craig could do with his art projects. He wished he was confident like Clyde. Quick witted like Token. Token would have really made the better-

No.

It was hours before he was supposed to graduate and he needed to stop self doubting himself. He needed to write this speech and possibly get a few hours of sleep before gearing up in his cap and gown and officially be done with high school.

He needed coffee now.

Tweek walked down the stairs and into the kitchen and began to make himself a pot of coffee and searched the counter for something to eat. He sighed as he realized that there was nothing suitable to snack on and began to search the cabinets for the ingredients to make some muffins. But what kind…

As Tweek gathered the ingredients, his gaze landed on a group shot of him, Craig, Clyde, and Token that had been taken the night he had his bad panic attack weeks ago. Tweek closed his eyes and smiled softly, feeling experimental.

————————-

“…eek. Tweek. Tweek!”

Tweek’s head shot up from the table as he stared wide-eyed at Craig and his parents staring at him from their spots at the kitchen table.

“What time is it?”

His mom smiled softly. “It’s about eight thirty sweetie. How long did you stay up?”

Tweek grumbled softly as he rubbed his eyes to wake himself up. “Five-ish? Maybe? That’s when I got finished with the muffins, I think?”

His father groaned in delight. “Speaking of, these are amazing son! The blend of cinnamon and hazelnut works well together and the vanilla glaze and dark chocolate shavings mellows the sweetness of the muffin out. What do you call them?”

Tweek blinked a few times as he grabbed one of the muffins off the rack and bit into it, savoring the taste his father described. He shrugged. “Spur of the moment? Procrastination? Friendship muffin?”

Craig smiled as he ruffled Tweek’s hair. “So…how much of your speech did you get done?”

Tweek closed his eyes. “None of i-it. But…I think I’ve got it figured out.”

———————————–

“And now it’s time for our Salutatorian to make his speech. Richard Tweak, can you please come to the podium?”

Tweek took a deep breath and stood up from his seat, making his way across his classmates sitting beside him, feeling Craig push a piece of paper in his hands as he passed him.

He twitched slightly as he made his way to the stage, grateful that he had decided to suck up and take an anxiety pill before they left.

As he looked over the sea of people (and otherworldly beings, since you know, Satan was there as well as Bradley Biggle’s real parents who were aliens), he unfolded the piece of paper Craig had slipped them.

If you get nervous, just think of everyone as their pretentious coffee order

Tweek grinned and shook his head as he cleared his throat.

“I… I’m not prepared for this. I spent weeks, days, hours… trying to think and write up a speech since I was named Salutatorian. But I just couldn’t. In fact, last night, instead of using the last few hours to think of something to write, I made muffins instead. I wasn’t prepared…because I shouldn’t be the Salutatorian. I shouldn’t really be alive right now.”

There was a collective gasp from more than half the crowd and whispered mumbling carried to the stage.

“The summer after Sixth Grade ended, I had a severe heart attack due to several reasons. I nearly died because of it, because my heart was so weak, and I spent a good chunk of time in the hospital. I spent months in both physical and mental therapy because during that time, a lot of what people and my classmates thought was just were the results of me being overly hyper, were actually borderline mental conditions. I’m on several medications right now to combat both my still existing heart condition and my mental illnesses so I can be a functional person.

I didn’t have a speech planned out like Kyle because, to be honest, I suck at speaking. I suck at even being around people. I’m really surprised I’m not stuttering through this right now, but I was given some advice by Craig Tucker, my best friend and boyfriend. So…no offence, but I’m imagining you all as your coffee orders. Like Cartman over there is a large vanilla mocha frappuccino.”

There were several laughs among the audience.

“Point is, if I wasn’t here, I wouldn’t be Salutatorian. But I am here. Through all the bad times, the mental and physical exhaustion of everything that’s happened since that time…as well as the good times that I’ll cherish, I’m here. And I didn’t do it alone. My family and my friends, who I reconnected fully with this year, helped repair the cracks in my sad little shell of myself.

I may be your Salutatorian, but all of you guys are my Valedictorians in your own ways. Throughout the years, we’ve all struggled and survived all the weird stuff that happens in our town and we’re all still here. We’re all still here to have fun and laugh and cry. We’ve all been there for each other to inspire and push each other into being the best we can be. And we’re all going to go out there and show the world what we have to offer. No matter how messed up we are, and what we’ve done, we’re still all here to make the future ours.

Be passionate about what you choose to do. I know how to make coffee and desserts and that’s what I’m going to do. And I hope in a few years time, that there will be Tweak Bros. Coffee shops all across the country because if a half crazed barely adult with a heart condition can accomplish his dreams, just think of what all you normal guys can do and accomplish. Just…watch out for the Underpants Gnomes. Because most of us are about to go to college and I think we’re all in agreement that we’d rather eat than spend our food money on underwear when they steal it.”

The applause from the entire town was deafening as Tweek made his way back to his seat, momentarily stopping for the group hug Token, Clyde, Kyle, and Cartman pulled him in as well as the ones Stan, Kenny, and Wendy gave him once he passed them. Craig embraced the teen and kissed him before Tweek returned to his seat and Butters pulled the blond into a hug before returning to his own seat.

———————————

“Ugh, you’re a total ass Tweek. You know that right?”

Tweek chuckled as Kyle glared at him but was smiling. “How so?”

“Just coming out with that speech on the spot! Just… I spent weeks with mom breathing down my neck to get mine perfect and it wasn’t near as powerful as yours. I’m am totally impressed and mock angry.”

Tweek raised his eyebrows. “Mock angry?”

Kyle laughed and he nodded. “I’m pretending to be mad at you but in reality I’m not. Like I said, that speech was amazing.”

Tweek ducked his head down, the chicken nugget that had been flying toward him barely missing landing in his hair. “It came from the h-heart. My weak loving heart. Should…we stop them? I really don’t want to be b-banned from McDonald’s on the night they just re-opened.”

Kyle batted away the nugget that Stan threw at him. “Nah, they should have realized not to open the day we all graduated. It’s their fault. Besides, we’re fixing to be moving to Denver. They have McDonald’s there. We survived nearly six months without one, we can survive a few more if we have to.”

———————————–

“Promise me Tweek that you’ll take good care of Karen.”

Tweek pulled away from Kenny and nodded. “She’s gonna be in g-good hands Kenny. She’s already got the hang of making some of the more complicated orders d-down pretty fast and Ruby will be there to kick out unruly customers.”

Kenny nodded as Craig and he checked to make sure the ties on the back of the pickup truck were still secure. “Thanks for getting her a job at the coffee shop. Once me and Leo are in a more secure place with finances, I’ll start sending her some money again. You sure your parents don’t mind me sending it to their address?”

“They’re fine with it Kenny. Now, you g-guys REALLY should get going. I don’t know how long my parents will be able to stall the Stotch’s.”

“As soon as-”

The three turned around as they heard a metallic clang and the sound of a window breaking, watching as Butters climbed out of his now opened window after tossing his backpack to Cartman. Once he was on the ground, the two ran toward Kenny’s truck.

Butters hugged up Cartman before pulling Tweek and Craig into hugs and threw his backpack in the truck. “Ken, we’ve only got a few minutes! Dad put an ankle bracelet on me and I just cut it off. They’ll probably be here as fast as they can since it’s linked to dad’s phone.”

Kenny nodded before turning to the three teens. “I’ll text you guys and give you updates on where we are. You guys take care.”

Cartman lightly punched Kenny in the arm. “Try not to die until you get to where you need to be. We still don’t know where you’ll end up when you do since you’ll be so far away from here.”

“Trust me, since Leo’s in the equation, I’m not gonna do anything too reckless.”

Kenny hopped in his truck, a surprising graduation present from his dad and brother who had rebuilt much of what they could to actually make the thing run decent, and gave one last wave to the teens on the sidewalk before putting it gear and beginning to finally drive off to Butters’s safety.

Butters’s parents had been none too pleased that their son had been accepted to a college outside of Colorado and tried to force their hand at preventing him from going, forcing drastic measures like securing an ankle tracker on the teen and putting at least twenty locks on his bedroom door and barring his window.

They had all been planning Butters’s breakout for two weeks, with Cartman keeping messages between Kenny and Butters since he lived next door. Tweek had got his parents involved by them pretending to be on the Stotch’s side and offering the teen a job that would be easy to keep track of the blond and the day of the breakout, Tweek’s parents were to keep the Stotch’s as long as possible for the plan to succeed.

Five minutes after they were unable to see Kenny’s truck, the Stotch’s car came barreling down the street and screeched as it came to a stop and Butters’s father jumped out of the car and stormed up to the teens.

“Where the hell is my son?! His ankle tracker was cut! You helped him escape, didn’t you?!”

Cartman smirked. “You could say that.”

“You’ll pay for taking our son away from us!”

The older man raised his fist, about to hit Cartman in the face, when his hand was stopped by a red gloved hand. Stephen Stotch turned around to see Stan, Kyle, Wendy, Token, and Clyde behind him.

Stan chuckled. “Well, if you’re gonna make everyone involved pay for this, then you’re looking at pretty much the entire town. And we all know what happens to people that have a beef with the entire town. Just accept the fact that Butters is an adult now that can make his own choices.”

Stephen looked at the collection of teenagers and growled, before storming into his house with Linda not too far behind him. Before she went in, she turned around and smiled softly, mouthing “thank you” to the teens before walking into the house.

Craig glared at the door to the Stotch’s house. “At least one of them was finally decent in the long run. Sorry you guys missed saying goodbye.”

Stan shrugged. “We’ll hear from them soon. It’s not like hundreds of miles between us will stop us from still trying to hang out with each other. I mean, I’m pretty sure the South Park weirdness will follow us wherever we go.”

Craig rolled his eyes and groaned. “Oh god Stan! Don’t even fucking joke about that shit! Remember, I STILL have laser eyes. I can and will use them.”

Tweek chuckled as he grabbed Craig’s arm. “Now Craig, don’t laser Stan. He’s p-paying a fourth of the apartment rent. We kind of need him.”

“Ugh, fine. Anyway, see you nerds later. Tweek and I need to start packing.”

Craig grabbed Tweek’s hand and the two walked home swinging their entwined hands, loving smiles on their faces, as they geared up to prepare for the next chapter in their lives.

Chapter Text

2 Months Later

“How many coffee cups did you bring Tweek? Jeez!”

Tweek grunted and took the two coffee cups Stan had in his hands and set them on the shelf. “You can never have enough c-coffee cups Stan. Besides, we’re gonna be poor-ish college students soon enough that will end up using th-these as bowls and plates when we don’t have any clean ones.”

Stan shook his head as he began putting away the cheap dishes his parents bought for the apartment. “It probably won’t come to that. Kyle’s a bit of a clean freak, especially in the bathroom.”

“Alright, then the bathroom is Kyle’s domain to keep clean, I’ll t-take the kitchen, Craig has this obsession with doing laundry, so you’re in charge of keeping the living r-room clean. Alright Stan?”

“So…no sex on the couch?”

The blond glared at Stan. “If I EVER see an undefinable white stain on the couch, even if it’s j-just milk, I WILL blame you and make you pay for cleaning it. We paid good money for that couch.”

Stan rolled his eyes as he looked at the plush couch in the living room that looked like it was having a color identity crisis in trying to decide if it was more a shade of brown or green. “You and Kyle found that on fucking Craigslist and paid twenty dollars for it from some guy who didn’t want to take it with him when he moved out after graduating. There’s no telling WHAT is actually crawling on it.”

“Kyle interrogated the guy before the final say. It’s fine.”

The door opened and Kyle came through the door, carrying the last few boxes of his belongings and set them down on the coffee table. “Stan, you better not be saying bad things about our beautiful couch. I’ll end you if you are.”

Stan groaned as he looked to Kyle and Tweek. “What’s the deal with the couch with you two?”

Kyle hugged the couch, rubbing his face on the soft fabric. “Because she has to last the entirety of our college life. She’s a good couch.”

Tweek chuckled as he left the two and headed into his and Craig’s shared bedroom. He came up behind Craig, who was sitting at their shared desk talking to Clyde on Skype, and wrapped his arms around him.

“Hi Tweek!”

Tweek waved at the enthusiastic brunette. “Hi Clyde.”

“Did Craig tell you who our fourth roommate is?!”

Craig rolled his eyes and flipped Clyde off. “He just got here dumbass! I haven’t had time to tell him anything! I’ve been talking to you!”

A brunette in a wheelchair pulled up next to Clyde and Clyde moved the camera. “Hey guys! It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

Craig’s eyes lit up and he grinned. “Jimmy! Dude, I haven’t seen you since Seventh Grade! How have you been?”

“I’ve been good. Still keeping a positive attitude and writing new joke material every day.”

“That’s good. Sorry about the wheelchair though. I know how much you insisted you didn’t want one.”

Jimmy slapped the giant wheels and shrugged. “Actually, once Senior Year hit, I decided to get one since I doubled my workload and it’s easier to carry all my books around. College will be just as hectic, so…might as well.”

Dova came up behind the two brunettes and fist bumped Jimmy. “Plus it’s fun to go barreling down the halls and run people over like we did at our High School.”

Clyde grinned as he looked at the two of them. “Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you that Jimmy and Dova went to the same school here in Boulder. That’s how we found out Jimmy was looking for someone to room with! Plus, we got a NICE handicap parking spot for Bobby’s van he drives.”

Tweek shook his head. “So…three former South Park kids in the same apartment as m-my cousin. Don’t freak Bobby out too much, okay? He’s still reeling over the fact Santa is r-real.”

Clyde chuckled. “We won’t…too much. We’ll just tell him stories about stuff you did instead.”

“Gah! Clyde! Don’t joke about that!”

————————————————-

1 Year Later

“I totally told Leo that once he nailed that audition, that this would open up a whole world of opportunities for him!”

Tweek smiled as he switched his phone to speaker mode so he could begin chopping up the fruit he had just washed. “We all made sure to be off and done with schoolwork so we could see his TV debut. It’s great to see his acting skills paying off.”

“Yeah, and he put in a good word for me and I got an audition to be a stunt double. I’ve got the body type they’ve been looking for and well…with my little power… I can be as reckless as I want.”

“I’m glad you were able to reign in control of that. We were so worried something would happen and you would end up back in South Park every time.”

“I might need help later on if it doesn’t look like I’m aging any. I don’t know if I’m immortal yet or I’ll just eventually die of old age. I’m hoping it’s the latter. I can’t imagine a life without Leo.”

Tweek began mixing the fruit in the bowl. “We’ll figure something out for you Kenny. Maybe talk to Satan or God next time you go to either place? They’re otherworldly beings. Maybe they can help.”

“Hey Tweek, great idea! Thanks dude! Hey…we’re all still on for Christmas back in South Park?”

“Yeah. I know Eric’s dying to see everyone. Harvard is kicking his ass according to him. He’s still the top student in his class though, so I can only imagine the pressure.”

“Eh, it’s Cartman. He’s got this.”

——————————————

2 Years Later

“So, you guys back in South Park?”

Craig nodded to Clyde as he moved his headphone cord so Streak wouldn’t gnaw on it while he brushed her out. “Yeah, Tweek’s still got Management classes he’s taking, but he’s doing them online while we’re revamping the coffee shop. And we figured since Wendy moved in the apartment, we’d give those three some privacy, especially since she freaked the fuck out when Stan and Kyle and you guys fucking disappeared for a week! Butters seriously thought that Kenny had died and wasn’t coming back when he didn’t come home when he was supposed to.”

Clyde threw up his hands. “How were we supposed to know that Cartman’s crazy half brother would find a way to send us back in time to the past at Cartmans’ graduation party!? It’s a freaking miracle that we even made it back to our own time!”

Craig rolled his eyes as he flipped off the brunette. “It’s a good fucking thing that Kyle had the bright idea to send a note to Jimmy and Dova in the future so that she could use her time fart powers to even figure out a way to get you guys back. You DID thank them for that, right?”

“I did Craig! Especially Dova! …Right after I apologized…for sleeping with someone in the past…”

“YOU DID WHAT!?”

Clyde put his hands in front of him and flinched, ready for Craig to hit him despite the fact the two were miles away from each other. “I was drunk! I know that’s not an excuse, but she was upset her friends hired us and I was just trying to show her a good time!”

Craig glared at Clyde. “Hired you guys for what?! Prostitution?”

“NO! We didn’t know how long we’d be in the past and we needed money to eat and stuff, so Kenny and Cartman proposed that we start up a male stripper service since that was apparently all the rage like twenty years ago. And we got hired to go to a bachelorette party and I got drunk and kind of hooked up with the bride to be.”

The noirette walked away from the computer to put Streak up and walked back, rubbing at his forehead. “God fucking damn it Clyde! Seriously!?”

“I’m sorry! But like I said, Laura was upset that we were hired and she was having doubts about the wedding and then…things happened…”

“Things happened.”

Clyde grinned sheepishly at his best friend. “Yeah…we banged. Hard. And I really felt bad afterward since she confessed that I was more sensitive than the guy she was marrying and wanted to call the wedding off and run off with me. I convinced her not to. Oh! Yeah…Kenny took pictures with his phone. Here’s Laura! Isn’t she hot? Dova forgave me since she was at least pretty.”

Clyde held up his phone for Craig to see. There was Clyde with his arm around a young pretty blonde woman that looked familiar. Very familiar. In fact so familiar in that Craig had JUST seen the very familiar woman just two hours ago when he went to his parents’ house to visit.

Clyde was going to die.

“Clyde. You. You fucked my mom.”

Clyde’s eyes widened at the accusation and flatness in Craig’s voice. “Whoa! Dude! Don’t go around accusing me of shit like that! I mean, yeah your mom is hot, but I would never-”

“Clyde. That’s my mom in the picture.”

Clyde turned the phone around and stared hard at the picture before looking up and shaking his head. “It can’t be Craig! I mean her name was Laura Evans! I asked her!”

“That was her maiden name before she changed it to Tucker. You fucked my mom.”

“Craig, dude! I-”

Craig cut the call off and stood up and silently walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where Tweek was.

Tweek looked up from his recipe notes as Craig grabbed the keys to the car the two shared. “Craig? Are you okay?”

“I’m going to Boulder. I’m going to kill Clyde.”

Tweek’s eyes widened. “Why!? What did Clyde do to fuck up THAT big!?”

“He fucked my mom.”

“HE WHAT!?”

Craig began to walk toward the door. “When him and the others got sent to the past by Cartman’s crazy half brother, they decided to be strippers and got hired at my mom’s bachelorette party and Clyde had sex with my mo-”

The noirette stopped, his eyes growing wider as the realization hit him. He turned to look at Tweek before running back up the stairs and clicking on the Skype call button for Clyde.

The brunette looked like he had been crying. “Dude! I didn’t mean to! Please don’t be mad! Seriously! I mean I should have put two and two together since we WERE in South Park like twenty or so years in the past and I shouldn’t have got dru-”

“Clyde, did you by any chance tell her YOUR name?”

Clyde looked down and scratched his head. “Not…exactly… I used a fake name. We all did, especially after Stan and Cartman recognized their moms there.”

“Was it Craig?”

Clyde chuckled nervously. “Yeah… How’d you guess? Sorry dude! It just slipped out! Dude, I apologize so fucking much! I really should have recognized that it was your mom!”

Craig closed his eyes and took deep breaths before looking calmly at Clyde. “Clyde…remember a few years back when I told you that my mom told me who my real father had been and the circumstances involving that?”

“Yeah? And you looked up male strippers for like three weeks but gave up after not being able to find anything. Why?”

“I found him.”

Clyde still had tears at the corners of his eyes but perked up at the news. “That’s great Craig! That’s better news than what I just told you. Dude, I will always be so sorry for what-”

“It’s you. You’re my real father.”

Tweek walked in the room and put his hand on Craig’s shoulder and the two watched as Clyde grew still and just stared at Craig.

Clyde laughed nervously. “Craig…dude, don’t joke about that. Look, I know I fucked up, but…that’s…impossible.”

Craig shook his head. “It’s not Clyde. Oh god…it’s not. Both my mom’s and your stories match up perfectly. You guys were the strippers at my mom’s bachelorette party and you said your name was Craig, which she named me after, and you had sex with her. You’re my real father Clyde.”

Clyde looked like he was about to cry again as he looked down and sniffed. “Please don’t kill me.”

Craig closed his eyes and sighed. “Clyde, I’m…mad…but I’m not going to do that. That would be a Cartman move and I’m so not him. And I have always considered you family, just…not in this way.”

Tweek chuckled behind Craig, earning a confused look from the other two. “Well…in retrospect, all those times we joked about Clyde being the daddy of our group were actually true then. We ARE Clyde’s gay baby sons.”

Craig groaned as Clyde squeed. “Goddamn it you two.”

“So…does that mean you’re actually gonna call me da-”

“No. Don’t push your luck Donovan.”

“Don’t you mean… “Dad”ovan?”

“CLYDE LUCAS DONOVAN! Don’t you EVEN fucking start the dad jokes!”

Clyde stuck his tongue out. “Hey! Don’t blame me! Living with Dova for three years has introduced me to a whole world of puns and memes! It’s her fault!”

———————————————

3 Years Later

Cartman took a sip of his beverage and smiled, savoring the taste. “My god, did I miss this. The Harbucks I have to go to for my daily coffee sucks balls. I’d rather have your spit coffee any time than the swill they sell.”

Tweek rolled his eyes as he sat down, making sure the teenage employee he hired a month ago didn’t need his help. “I never spit in your coffee Eric. But, I know what you mean on the Harbucks front. Now that I’ve set up business in a few locations in Colorado, I’m having to watch my back on who comes in. That’s…why I actually asked if you could meet me.”

Cartman raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”

“I want to protect my property and recipes from Harbucks thinking they can come in and steal my growing business. They’ve already tried to replicate the Fudge Nugget and one of my hot chocolate recipes. Clyde told me about them when Craig and I were visiting him, Dova, and little Remy last week and to also check on the Tweak Bros. in Boulder. We stopped by and I tasted them and they’re almost the same. The manager at my Boulder shop also mentioned this one guy kept coming in the shop and ordering the same two items and then about a month later, they were at Harbucks.”

Cartman smirked as he grabbed one of his writing pads out of his satchel. “So… you want me to help you with trademarks? That’s simple.”

“I also want you to be my lawyer in case we have to go to court. I want to expand Tweak Bros. across the US and I know Harbucks will try everything to not let that happen. I’d ask Kyle’s dad, but he’s thinking about retiring soon.”

“You know my services aren’t cheap Tweek, especially since I won that huge case a few months ago and I’m the go-to lawyer now. It was a miracle I even got today off to meet with you.”

Tweek sighed and nodded as he put his head in his hands. “I know Eric. I kn-know. But this coffee shop has what I’ve been striving to build on ever since High School. I know lawyers are expensive, especially you, but…you’re the best Eric. I’m willing to pay to keep my shops alive.”

Cartman sighed as he wrote something down on his writing pad and ripped the paper off, handing it to Tweek. “That’s how much I’ll cost.”

Tweek hesitantly took the paper from Cartman and read it. And read it again. And one more time for good measure. The blond looked up. “This…isn’t a joke…is it Eric?”

The man smiled and shook his head. “Nope. I’ve never forgotten that you were the only one that believed me at first on not defacing your lockers in High School and strove to clear my name. I wouldn’t be here now if it wasn’t for you. I owe you.”

“So…you just want free stuff from the shop for the rest of your life.”

“Yep.”

Tweek smiled as he held out his hand. “Well then Mr. Cartman, I believe we have a deal. My cousin Bobby’s the one that’s wrote the computer system for how we do the orders on the cash registers, so I can have him set you up with a permanent employee number for free drinks and deserts.”

“Sweet.”

—————————————-

4 Years Later

“You two ARE coming for our ten year reunion next month, right Craig?”

Craig rolled his eyes as he flipped off Token on the screen. “Yes mom, we are. We’ve got to be at the opening of a new Tweak Bros. in Texas, but we’re immediately getting on a flight back to Colorado afterward.”

“How is Tweek doing by the way? The pills working?”

Craig nodded as he leaned back and pulled a ratty stuffed animal out from under him. “He’s definitely sleeping better during the times when I can’t be with him. And he hasn’t had a bad attack in several months. Of course…all that legal bullshit is over too, so that took a lot of the stress off as well.”

Token shook his head. “I STILL can’t believe Cartman took on Harbucks and WON. Nichole and I were glued to our seats on that case just waiting on the outcome and she even used the case to teach her class about the Judicial part of our government. He grilled them across the coals. I can’t believe Harbucks went bankrupt on this. Tweek must be so ecstatic.”

Craig smirked as he sipped his tea. “It also helped that we also had one of the top computer technicians in the country prove that Harbucks tried to hack into Tweak Bros. computers and two of the country’s top journalists slightly tipping the media news in Tweek’s favor. And of course Butters posting on his social media accounts to all his fans on how much he loved Tweak Bros and Jimmy going off with the Harbucks jokes and how bad they were on TV helped.”

“We take care of our own. Speaking of…how have you been? I know Tweek’s been taking care of his business, but how is yours going?”

Craig held up a binder filled to the brim with pages and bits of fabric and paper sticking out. “JUST got through helping Kyle pick out what he wants his pediatrician’s practice to look like. He wanted all the rooms to be a different theme to ease children, including the restroom and his office. And of course the chief decision maker was also here giving her input. Miss Betty is definitely going into politics like her mother is.”

Token smiled. “I’m assuming that the ratty bear was Betty’s then?”

Craig nodded. “I’m sure Stan will either call or come get it later on when he gets off. He’s been working late during this time. Lots of pregnant animals and clueless owners.”

“Speaking of pregnant…”

Craig’s eyes lit up. “No way! No fucking way! I’m gonna be an uncle again!? How’s Nichole and Jayden taking it?”

“They’re good and happy. Well…Nichole is. Jayden’s a bit upset because we promised him a puppy for his birthday but it’ll be a bit hard for both a puppy and baby, so we told him that instead of a puppy, he’s getting a sibling. He told us he’d rather have a puppy. Kids.”

Craig nodded. “Oh believe me, I know all too well. My niece/baby sister Remy is five going on sixteen according to Clyde and Dova and like I said, Betty is clearly the decision maker in the Marsh-Broflovski-Testaburger family. And they’re actually having another one on the way as well.”

Token raised his eyebrows. “Oh really? Kyle’s this time?”

“Yeah. Kyle’s only wish is that the kid doesn’t inherit his hair. He doesn’t want them to have to deal with the Jew-fro if they can help it but hopes it’s another girl since the curly hair won’t be too bad for them if that happens. Even though curly hair is a nightmare if it’s long.”

Token laughed and shook his head. “Speaking from experience there?”

Craig groaned as he looked over his shoulder at the large guinea pig cage covering nearly the entire room. “Mocha and Andromeda are Texels and they are very curly. I spend at least an hour brushing them out compared to the time it took with Streak. At least Panda, Ivory, and Frank are short haired.”

“Frank? I thought you had all girls so they wouldn’t make babies.”

Craig looked behind him again and pointed to a solid black one. “Well, her original name was Ebony since she’s Ivory’s sister, but Remy was insistent on her name being Frank. And Frank likes Remy more than anyone else…so…”

————————————-

“You’re looking better than I last saw you Tweek.”

Tweek smiled as he adjusted his headphones and sipped his beverage. “Thanks to you Eric. I can’t thank you enough for what you did. I didn’t know you’d go THAT far though.”

Cartman smirked. “Harbucks pissed me off. REALLY pissed me off. It was also a bit personal. The one I had kept going to here is where I met Elizabeth and her manager was a total bitch and made her work by herself all the time and refused to turn in her overtime hours. I swore that if that bitch pissed me off one more time…and THEN you called me… And we all know what happened.”

“How is Elizabeth doing by the way? I’ve been meaning to fly down there to see how the new store is going, but I haven’t really had the time with overseeing the conversion of the Harbucks into Tweak Bros.”

“She is taking being the manager very seriously. Thank you so much for choosing her to run the shop, even though I told her that she really didn’t have to work if she didn’t want and spend more time with Darren. I mean…she accepted my proposal and we’re living together and I make enough money for her to be a stay at home mom. But, I support her decision to keep working. And she makes some damn fine coffee, even when she had to work with the shit Harbucks was shelling out.”

Tweek grinned. “So how’s Darren taking the fact that you’re marrying his mom?”

Cartman rolled his eyes. “As well as any almost eight year old would at first. Especially since I see a lot of my younger self in him. But, I sat him down and explained to him about a few things and the first thing that I told him I wanted to do after marrying Elizabeth was adopt him. I told him I know how it feels to be raised by a single parent and told him how horrible I was and I don’t want him to end up like that. I DID leave out the part where I indirectly killed my OWN father however.”

“Of course.”

“He was surprised I wanted to adopt him after all the shit he tried to do to sabotage his mom and I getting together, but I told him that his pranks were nothing compared to the stuff I did when I was younger.”

Tweek shook his head. “Don’t give him ideas. Please don’t give him ideas.”

———————————

1 Month Later

“I don’t know why all of you are so excited to see each other. You talk nearly every day to each other!”

Token chuckled at his mom as she shook her head. “It’s different since we don’t actually see each other physically! Thanks for watching the kids by the way.”

Clyde grinned as he waved at Remy as the girl ran off with Betty and Jayden, Darren bringing up the rear. “Yeah! Thanks mom!”

“Have fun “kids” and don’t break anything.”

The group laughed as Token’s mom shut the door, leaving them alone.

Kenny stretched as he laid across the loveseat he and Butters was on, laying his head in the blond’s lap. Butters chuckled as he looked down. “You’re THAT tired?”

“Couldn’t sleep on the plane. I really don’t understand why we couldn’t drive here. I hate planes.”

Butters rolled his eyes. “You’re more likely to die in a car related accident than a plane you know. And I wasn’t able to get that many days off from shooting to drive.”

“Still hate them. I was crushed by one that one time I came back as a zombie.”

Butters looked at Kenny in confusion. “Wait…first time zombie or second time zombie? The Pinkeye incident or the Nazi Zombie incident?”

“Pinkeye. I came back after Kyle chainsawed me in half.”

Tweek laid his head on Craig’s shoulder. “I can sympathize with Kenny. Hate planes. Really hate planes. Especially now.”

Craig smiled as he rubbed Tweek’s hands. “You were the one that insisted on being at every opening of your coffee shops across the country.”

“It’s good business practice and gives the employees the idea that their boss does care about them. I care about all my employees and I want to meet the people that will be running my shops.”

Wendy batted away Kyle, who was hovering over her pregnant belly, and turned to look at Tweek. “So are you going to do the same thing with any that you want to build in other countries? Some of the foreign officials I’ve talked to have expressed interest when they went there a few months ago.”

Tweek nodded. “I do have plans to expand, but it’ll be a while. We still need to convert all the old Harbucks buildings first.”

Wendy smiled. “Sounds like a great plan! I tell you, I can’t get enough of your Caramel Carousal Crumble during this pregnancy. Lily has made me crave those at least three times a week for a while now.”

Nichole chuckled. “I know what you mean. Alicia’s got me craving fries dipped in chocolate shake. It’s loads better than Jayden making me crave chips dipped in peanut butter.”

“Ugh, I know the feeling. Betty was purple grapes mixed with pickle slices.”

Stan turned to Clyde and Dova. “So, you guys thinking of having another?”

Dova shook her head. “If we do, we’re adopting. And probably around Remy’s age. Baby Remy was too much of a handful.”

Cartman looked at Elizabeth and squeezed her hand. “We were actually thinking about having one once we get married and the adoption of Darren goes through fully.”

Butters smiled as he ran his fingers through Kenny’s hair. “Ken and I might adopt one day when our lives aren’t too hectic. We’d definitely adopt an older kid since we’d have to explain why one of their daddies is pretty much immortal.”

“I’m aging! I’m not immortal.”

Stan turned around to look at Craig and Tweek. “And how about you two? Or are you good with the vast guinea pig family you guys have.”

Before Craig could say anything, Tweek squeezed the noirette’s hand. “Actually… Maybe one day we could give parenting a try…if you wanted to Craig.”

——————————————————

5 Years Later

“You think this needs more chocolate Rosie?”

The four year old girl nodded excitedly, blonde ringlets bouncing on her head. “All the chocolate!”

Tweek smiled as he began piping more chocolate frosting on Craig’s birthday cake. The now thirty four year old would be home any minute from picking up their eight year old son, Andrew, from school, and the cake needed to be done before they got there.

He grabbed the containers of sprinkles and set them in front of their daughter they had adopted two years prior, along with Andrew, who was Rosie’s biological brother. Although the boy had only been six at the time, the black haired boy had been adamant about not being separated from his sister. Tweek and Craig had immediately fell in love and decided to adopt both, despite their initial decision on just wanting to adopt one child.

Rosie grabbed the sprinkles and began to meticulously sprinkle patterns on the cake, using her finger to move certain pieces to certain spots.

“What are you drawing for daddy Rosie?”

“It’s space!”

“Well daddy does like space!”

“SPACE!”

Tweek heard laughter behind him and turned around and smiled.

Craig walked in the kitchen and embraced the blond. “What about space?”

Tweek chuckled as he looked behind him. “Your child is drawing you chocolate space.”

Andrew walked in and gave Tweek a hug before grabbing something out of his backpack and occupied the chair Tweek had been in and looked at his sister’s artwork. “Hey Rosie?”

Rosie looked up. “Huh?”

“You know, this is a really great picture…but you know what it needs?”

“What?”

Andrew smirked and pulled out a box of Whoppers and opened it, dumping them on the table. He grabbed one and set it in the middle of the cake. “Asteroids!”

“YEAH!”

The two children laughed as they pushed the balls in the cake, destroying most of Tweek’s intricate piping.

Tweek sighed as he sat down before smiling. “I spent an hour frosting the cake, only for it to be destroyed by asteroids.”

Craig sat down beside Tweek, kissing his forehead. “At least it’s only chocolate asteroids and not actual asteroids. Or guinea pig pirates…”

Andrew’s eyes lit up. “Ooh dad! Tell us that story again! And can you do the laser thing? You can cut the cake like that!”

Craig smiled as he looked over to Tweek, who returned the smile. “Well kids, it all started in Fourth Grade when four guys I didn’t really like convinced me to start a Peruvian flute band with them and stole my birthday money…”

Chapter Text

Alright…. So…. Commentary for the fic

There were actually four main points in the fic that stayed throughout the story that I would not change for anything and plot was deleted and revamped to make sure these events would happen.

-Craig being found and nursed to health by Tweek

-Craig using his basketball money to buy Tweek a guitar

-Tweek having a major anxiety attack and being comforted by Craig

-Clyde ending up being Craig’s father the whole time

———————————————————-

There were other plot bunnies that were included that either showed up earlier than I wanted or later than I wanted and characters that I initially wasn’t going to include that wormed their way in.

The main story was just going to be the friendship between Craig, Tweek, Clyde, and Token with interjecting from Stan’s gang in the form of side remarks Craig and the others would say after the fact. Once each episode of South Park this season aired, I had convictions on a few characters and they quickly wormed their way into the story.

One of the major ones was giving Cartman a redeeming ending. I know as of this writing, there are only two episodes left in the season (Season 20) and from the latest episode, the Cartman we know is seemingly coming back, but from his actions this season and last season, he does have the ability to slightly change for the better. After his inclusion in the story, his epilogue ending he got was set in place.

——————————————

I had initially had Craig and Tweek get together much later in the story (Christmas to be exact), and the anxiety attack Tweek had at the end of the school year would have happened here (the plot was someone found out about the meth thing and Tweek was worried this person would tell the entire school and town), culminating with Craig confessing his feelings for Tweek and Tweek doing the same.

But, I has essentially wrote myself into a corner here with making both Craig and Tweek a bit TOO smart with their feelings and devout trust to each other. There would be no way that either of them would have been blind to the fact that the other secretly liked them for that amount of time, especially given their relationship up to the point they did get together.

—————————————–

Another change was that while Craig was always going to have an Art major, Tweek was actually going to go into music and his guitar would have been something he always fiddled with (like with the case of Craig’s art projects.) He still played it a lot (judging from the fact that Streak was very calm when he played, since she got used to the strange sound), but I changed what he became since I didn’t want him to go into “Gary Stu Manic Pixie Boy OC” territory with him being able to do all this stuff.

The guitar scene was still going to be there since I still needed to establish just how much Craig cared about Tweek at this point and also to delve into just how much Tweek’s mom knew about the situation and her thoughts.

————————————————-

I originally didn’t have any holiday activities planned for the fic (except for Christmas), but as the story grew, I knew I couldn’t just skip months or offhandedly comment on them happening. Craig was always going to get in a fight at his house, but the person changed from Thomas to Brian, and was moved from Christmas to Thanksgiving.

————————————–

I never wanted to describe what Tweek’s panic and anxiety attacks were until the major one because I didn’t want to cheapen the impact that it had on everyone when they witnessed it, both with the kids and the readers. I alluded to the fact that he has them and that Craig had helped, but until you actually see or have one for yourself, they are hard to really know how they actually feel.

The same with his pills. I didn’t want to outright say that he hates taking his pills, despite them essential for everyday function, so there are allusions on offhanded comments and thoughts about them.

The aftermath changed a lot and I had another scenario before I went with the one I went with.

Initially, both Token and Clyde were going to be there in the house with Craig and Tweek and all three were basically going to be on suicide watch for Tweek. They were going to spend the weekend trying to get Tweek through the severe bad thoughts while Cartman and the others watched the shop. (this was actually going to be the weekend Tweek’s parents were out of town and Craig and Tweek ran the shop)

Tweek was going to get a lot worse and was going to actually lock himself in the bathroom after he woke up one time and saw that the others were asleep. He contemplated cutting himself and ultimately decides not to and then heads to the kitchen where they hid all his pills. I would have ended the section with Tweek grabbing one of them.

The others would find him passed out at the table, like Craig and his parents did, with the muffins he made and they would freak out, only for Craig to realize Tweek just took his migraine medicine. Tweek would tell them how he felt and what he almost decided to do.

This was before the election results happened and I was in too much of a bad emotional state to even force myself to write this scenario. Even the exchange between Craig and Tweek hit me pretty hard to write.

———————————–

Tweek wasn’t going to be Salutatorian initially, but the story was quickly rushing toward the end of their school year and I needed something to trigger his panic attack that I kept pushing back. He was initially going to be third, with Token/Wendy being the Salutatorian. (I went back and forth on this a lot)

Order of Top Ten Kids:

Kyle- Tweek- Token- Wendy- Butters- Heidi- Nichole- Kenny- Cartman- Annie

Also on the subject of school, I did have a set school schedule written out for all the main characters of the fic (Tweek, Craig, Clyde, Token) with partial ones for Stan’s gang, to try to keep where the heck they were consistent.

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Now for the Epilogue

I initially had Craig, Tweek, Butters, and Kenny all living in California and didn’t have any college stuff planned out (this takes place years later)

Craig and Clyde’s exchange on Clyde revealing that he’s Craig’s dad was always planned out from the beginning and throughout the fic, I made allusions to the fact that Clyde was.

As such, Dova was always going to be involved somehow with the fart time travel powers that are mentioned in the upcoming game to get Stan’s gang and Clyde home from the past. Dova would be offhandedly mentioned and didn’t have a set gender, but seeing how I kind of never gave Clyde a steady girlfriend/boyfriend in the story, I made up my mind to set Dova’s gender as girl and set the two up. Dova’s hair is actually white (based on my SoT character), but I describe it as pale blonde since that was another running joke on Clyde having a thing for blondes as with Craig’s dad’s identity joke.

Even after Cartman and Heidi got together, I still went with Cartman falling in love with a single mother trying to work a shitty job and raise her son by herself. I feel that reformed Cartman would find the situation hits too close to home and seeing the boy remind him of him at that age, wanted him to make sure another Eric Cartman type person wasn’t created. He went down that road, he doesn’t want to see this kid head down the same one.

Much of the rest of the Epilogue was created once Stan’s gang wormed themselves in the fic and it was originally going to be more offhand comments about what they were doing, but having written these characters the way I did, it wouldn’t have done them justice.

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One last thing (that I really didn’t want to mention but I did get two tumblr asks about it that I never posted on disappointment about the end of the Prom chapter)

Craig and Tweek were never going to have sex in my fic.

On a meta front, I am complete shit at writing smut or sexy anything (besides kisses and cuddling), so it was never going to be addressed or done in the fic.

On a story wise front, Craig is too much a good guy and completely in love with Tweek to pressure him into something he’s not ready for, especially that big of a step in their relationship. I emphasized that quite a bit in my fic. They do eventually have sex and Craig does call it, Tweek is a “kinky little fucker” in bed

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That’s really all I can think of at this time about the story. If there are any questions or something else you wanted to know, please leave a comment on the chapter and I’ll do my best to answer it.

I may make a sort of “sequel” to this that’s just a bunch of connected stories that delve more deeply into some of the stories that the characters offhandedly talk about or that happened and I didn’t have a place to put them in the story. It might be a while if I do this, since I’ll be insanely busy the next month or so.