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”Come on buddy, you really are going to run out of gas in the middle of nowhere? At two in the morning?” Tyler mumbled to his truck, hitting the wheel with his left hand in exasperation.
With his right hand, he grabbed his phone and searched for the nearest gas station, trying to look at both the road and his screen. Thankfully, he found one which was only a few miles away.
He had spent the whole day in his truck. He left his house this morning after receiving a call from a guy telling him he needed his help. And in his current situation, Tyler couldn’t say no to an opportunity to earn more money, even if his client was living in another state.
He had tried not to think too much about all the miles he would have to travel, nor about the two days he would spend on the road.
When the gas station came into sight, it really looked like the only building in the landscape. At least it seemed empty and he wouldn’t have to interact with anyone. He could feel the bags under his eyes getting heavier with every passing second, he was really not in the mood to have a chat.
Once he had arrived at his destination, Tyler stopped his truck and got out to refuel his tank. It was only at that moment that he realized how drained his body was. His legs were sore from spending the whole day on the road, his arms were begging for a break away from the steering wheel. Even the fuel nozzle felt heavy in his hand.
While he was waiting for his tank to fill up, he took the time to observe his surroundings. Near the gas pump was a small grocery store, and the lights inside were lit. Was it normal here to leave a store open at 2am?
Whatever, it was none of his business if some people wanted to work all night long. He couldn’t judge, since he was the one driving to another state instead of sleeping peacefully in his bed.
The fuel nozzle went still in his palm, letting him know that the tank was full. He put it back in its place, paid his due and jump in his truck again to park it in one of the spots available.
He didn’t even bother to perfectly align his tires between the white lines on the ground since the parking lot was empty, except for a red car parked at the other end. It probably belonged to the poor soul who had to work at this ungodly hour in the store.
Now that he was here, he thought about getting a new pack of redbull. He only had one can left from the last one he bought. He left his truck and headed inside the grocery store, squinting his eyes under the harsh lights hanging from the ceiling.
The shop was mostly empty, there was only a cashier sitting behind the checkout who didn’t even bother to great him since he was too focus on his phone. Tyler went straight to the aisle where he spotted the energy drinks and took a pack under his arm, trying to reach into his pocket with his free hand to find his wallet.
Oh fuck. He did not left his wallet in his truck. He sighed out loud and stayed still for a minute, maybe his card would magically appear in his pocket if he waited long enough. He didn’t have the strength to do a roundtrip just for a pack of redbull.
Unless… The cashier was still focus on his phone, he seemed to play games and Tyler started to wonder if he even noticed that someone was in the store.
The only good thing about winter was wearing layers. Without trying to look too suspect, Tyler put some cans under his coat and started to walk outside. He said goodbye to the man as he walked through the door, and it almost made him chuckle when he saw him raise his head and nod without paying attention.
Once back in his truck, Tyler opened his coat, let the cans fell on the passenger seat and started his engine.
During the two minutes after he left the gas station, he couldn’t stop side eyeing the redbull next to him, and began to hate himself for having stolen from a small store. The cost of the cans would probably be collected on the cashier’s wage, just because an asshole decided that he wouldn’t walk 50 meters to get his wallet.
The guilt won him over. He abruptly turned the wheel at the next intersection and managed to turn around to head back to the shop.
-
”Hi man, can I pay the price of a redbull pack?”
The cashier looked at him with a confused expression, and then stared at his hands who were holding a credit card.
During this short moment, Tyler finally got the time to truly look at the man in front of him, the same man he robbed less than an hour before. His features were incredibly soft, his messy brown hair making him look like he just woke up, even if it was 2am. His nose and ears were pierced. He wasn’t usually a huge fan of piercings, but he had to admit it suited him pretty well.
”I’m sorry?” The man’s voice brought him out of his contemplation, but it didn’t stop his intrusive thoughts. His tone sounded like it was made of silk, and Tyler began to feel even more guilty about the whole situation.
”I - Well I stole some redbull cans earlier because I didn’t have my wallet on me but then I felt stupid and anyway I want to pay it now.” The words came out of Tyler’s mouth in a rush, what was he even doing by admitting a robbery to a stranger. He would definitely end his night in custody.
The man’s eyes were wide open now. He was probably trying to process the situation, it was easy to guess that he probably hadn’t expected his night to take this turn. ”You stole? From my store?”
”Yeah. But I want to pay now. So technically I wouldn’t say that I’m a thief, I’m just paying a little late.”
”Oh man you’re the worst thief I ever encountered.” The cashier was… laughing? Tyler saw him write something on the card reader, and he handed it to him.
”I guess I deserved you mocking me.” Tyler kept his eyes on the desk, focused on paying his due. He already made a fool of himself, he wasn’t brave enough to look him in the eyes now.
”Yeah you did.”
The silence that followed made him very uncomfortable, he tried to put his credit card back in his wallet as fast as possible and nodded his head, what could he possibly say at this point? He was already lucky that the man took the decision to not call the cops.
When he started to turn around to go back to his truck, the cashier spoke again.
”It’s none of my business but maybe you should take a nap before hitting the road again. I don’t know if you took those cans to keep you awake but if so, it’s not really wise. You look like you haven't slept in days man.” The mockery in his tone was gone, it felt like silk on Tyler’s skin again.
”Maybe I owe it to you to take your advice.” They briefly exchanged a glance, and Tyler wished he had met him in other circumstances.
The man just smiled at him before closing the conversation. ”Have a good night, and don’t forget your wallet next time.”
If only there was a next time.
Once near his truck, Tyler caught his reflection in his rear window. Maybe the stranger was right, he looked exhausted and definitely not alright. He tried to curl his lips upwards to see if the trick would work, if he could hide behind his smile and look healthy, but the tiredness was all over his features and nothing could hide it at this point.
He finally gave in and tried his best to make himself comfortable in the driver seat. He put the heater on and saw on the dashboard that it was almost 3am, maybe he could sleep two hours before starting another day.
-
Two knocks on his window woke him up. His mind was still clouded by sleep, and his eyes were trying to understand what was happening on his left. Was that the guy from the store behind his window? Before making a move, he checked the time on his phone. 3:47am. Great. He didn’t even sleep for an hour.
He slowly rolled down his window, and stared at him without talking.
”Glad to see you followed my advice.” The cashier was all smiles and spoke like he wasn’t trying to make conversation on a parking lot in the middle of the night.
”Why are you here?” Tyler’s voice was raspy from sleep, it was almost humiliating to let himself be seen in such a state.
”I work here?”
”Why are you knocking on my window? I swear I didn’t steal anything else.”
And there it was, his laugh again.
”I’m on my break and as you can guess it can get pretty lonely here. So I don’t know, I thought maybe I could talk to you.”
Tyler stared at him in disbelief, perhaps he never woke up and was still in a very realistic dream.
”We could go on the roof of the store, the stars are out tonight and we can see them clearly from up there. If you stay in your truck the neon lights from the gas station will ruin the show.” The cashier kept talking like it was the most normal thing in the world, nothing made sense. He was definitely still dreaming.
”You want to bring a stranger on your store’s roof to see the stars?” Tyler felt the need to verbalize aloud every thought that crossed his mind in order to make sure he understood him correctly.
”What’s your name?”
The question took him by surprise, so he answered without thinking twice. ”Tyler.”
”Great. I’m Josh. Now we’re not strangers anymore. So I’ll renew my offer.” Josh leaned against the driver’s window frame before speaking again. ”Do you want to see the stars, Tyler?”
Maybe he would die on this roof, maybe the man really called the cops for a robbery and they were waiting for him up there. But something in his guts pushed him to say yes. Something deep inside him, which he tried to ignore, also told him that he couldn’t say no to such pretty brown eyes.
”Yeah I’m in. I’m definitely not going back to sleep anyway.”
”Sorry”. Josh chuckled and stepped aside to let him open his door. He didn’t look sorry at all.
All of Tyler’s muscles were numb from the position he was trying to sleep in. It took him a good minute to feel his legs again, and another minute to put his phone and his wallet in his coat pocket. And to grab two redbulls as well.
Josh saw him take the cans in his hands and interrupted him. ”I won’t drink it, just take one for yourself”.
Tyler glanced at him before focusing on locking his truck. He didn’t put one of the cans back on the passenger seat. ”Please?”
”Are you still feeling guilty and that’s why you want me to drink it?”
Ouch.
”Maybe?” He muttered in response.
”Okay.” Josh’s tone lowered. ”Let’s have an energy drink at almost 4am then I guess.”
For the first time since they met, Tyler offered him a smile.
Soon enough he was waiting on a ladder’s rung while Josh was trying to open the roof’s door above him. The trapdoor opened with a loud metallic noise, and felt back on the roof heavily. Tyler saw Josh disappear into the opening, and followed him quickly.
For a second he regretted having said yes earlier, his arms were aching and climbing a ladder in the middle of night was the last thing his body needed. Josh offered him a hand to get on the roof and he took it, the skin-to-skin contact sending shivers down his spine. When was the last time he touched someone else’s hand?
The view from the top of the building made him forget the pain in his muscles. As Josh promised him, the sky was clear and with the lights of the gas station below them, nothing could dim the brightness of the stars.
The moon was almost full, and the few clouds seemed to pave the way for the stars. How could they ever be afraid of falling, when the clouds were there to hold them up if needed.
”It’s my favorite spot.” Josh’s voice was no louder than a whisper, like he wasn’t sure how to interpret Tyler’s silence.
”It’s nice.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt the need to talk again. It wasn’t enough. ”I really like it, thanks for bringing me here.”
Josh nodded his head and gestured him with his hand to follow him. They walked to one of the edges of the roof and sat there.
They didn’t talk for a while, just looked at the stars above them and enjoyed the silence. Tyler opened the redbull cans and gave one to Josh, who took it without saying a word.
It was the first time Tyler was doing such a thing, he wasn’t really the spontaneous type in general. So sitting on a roof with a stranger in the middle of night, in the middle of nowhere, wasn’t on the list of things he thought he would do one day.
After staring into the void for a few minutes, Tyler started to ask questions to break the silence.
”Is there much traffic around here? I haven’t seen a single living soul for several miles around.”
”No. Not really. You were my third customer of the day. It’s pretty calm here, most of the time people don’t bother to come inside the shop, they just refuel their tanks and leave.” Josh answered him without looking at him. He was too focused on the stars, now laying on his back to be able to see them without raising his head.
Tyler joined him in this position. It was definitely more comfortable than sitting still, his back thanked him at the second he touched the ground. He sighed in relief.
”You don’t have any coworkers?”
”I didn’t think you would be the type to ask questions about my life.” Josh paused, looked at him and spoke again. ”Don’t worry, this is not me complaining. I have coworkers, I just don’t see them. I work the night shift so they arrive when I leave.”
He was right, Tyler wasn’t the type to ask questions. He wasn’t the type to make conversation in general, but there was something about Josh. Maybe it was in the way he spoke, he made the world go quiet.
For a few minutes the cashier kept talking about his shifts, how his coworkers never tried to befriend him, how he was doing fine on his own, even if sometimes he wished he had someone to keep him company. Tyler wasn’t really listening anymore, his only thought was that he could probably fall asleep again simply by listening to the sound of his voice.
But at some point, a question came to his mind.
”Can I ask you something?”
”Isn’t that what you’ve been doing since we got up here?” Well, Josh was right. It was stupid to word it like that, but Tyler spoke without thinking first. He just needed to say something before trying to formulate his real question.
”Are you really on a break right now?” Josh looked at him confused. ”I mean you just told me you were working here alone at night, and the store is open 24/7. Which means you just left it open with no one inside?” The man next to him propped himself up on his elbows, and something shifted in his expression. Although Tyler couldn’t deduce anything from it.
”I put the closed sign on the door. It’s 4am, no one’s coming here anytime soon, I’m not going to lose my job because I took a break.”
Tyler sat back in the position he had been in before, and watched Josh who didn’t look very comfortable with his elbows nearly merging with the rooftop concrete.
”So you didn’t need to take a break. Why?”
”Why?”
”Why doing it ? Why did you chose to knock at my window?”
They stared at each other, maybe a little too long.
Tyler never noticed before that Josh’s face was covered in freckles, he hated the fact that it made him think of the stars above their heads.
The man let him look, he said nothing but Tyler felt his gaze wander over his own features. He was suddenly very aware of the dark circles under his eyes, of the wrinkles on his forehead, of everything that made him run from people who wanted to look too close.
”Tyler…” He hated how soft his name sounded in Josh’s mouth. ”I think I took a break for the exact same reason you agreed to follow me on this roof.”
His face felt warm all of a sudden. He didn’t even admit to himself why he wanted so badly to talk to Josh when he usually hated small talks, so he wasn’t ready to hear the man beside him admit it for him.
He didn’t answer, his throat felt dry and he was anxious that his voice might betray him. He pulled on his coat sleeves to cover his hands, he often did this to focus on the feeling of the fabric in his palm when he was overwhelmed.
Josh seemed to sense the uncomfortable turn the conversation had taken and tried to make a joke to lighten the mood. ”I just hope you didn’t steal these cans to get my attention because that would be the worst approach I’ve ever seen.”
Tyler let out a small laugh. ”I did not do that. I promise.”
”I believe you.” Josh finally left his uncomfortable position and sat back beside him. Close enough for their clothes to brush.
”So. Where are you driving with your truck?” Tyler silently thanked him for not pushing further, even if he had to admit he felt more at ease now that he knew he wasn’t the only one with tangled feelings.
”I have to meet a guy who wants help with his next record. He called me yesterday and I couldn’t really say no, even though I’m not that interested in his project.”
Josh looked suddenly really interested in what he was saying. ”What’s your job?”
”I’m a music producer. It’s a good job. I just wish I was the one making music instead of producing -”
Josh cut him off mid-sentence. ”I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m so happy you stole from my store.”
Tyler stared at him, mouth still open, not quite sure he was following where he was going with his sentence. He also felt the urge to correct him once again.
”I didn’t steal. I paid you in the end.”
”Yeah whatever makes you feel better. Do you sing?”
Tyler frowned. He was really lost now. ”Sometimes? I’m not sure I’m following your train of thought.”
”I’m a drummer. When I’m not selling groceries.”
Oh ? Oh.
”Do you play better than you arrest thieves?” He decided to try to crack a joke, trying to focus his mind on something else than picturing the stranger beside him on the drums.
”Oh so now you admit you’re a thief!” Josh laughed genuinely, and Tyler quickly looked at the sky, hoping to see a shooting star. He needed to make a wish to hear him laugh again. ”Yes, I’m pretty good at it. I think.”
Once he made sure that the stars weren’t moving, he refocused on him. ”Maybe one day you’ll call me to produce your record.”
”Or maybe we’ll make a record together.” Josh nudged his shoulder against his, and Tyler felt the empty space the second their coats stopped touching. If only he were brave.
They talked some more, learned some things about each other’s jobs, exchanged about their favorite bands and movies.
They were finally brought out of their conversation by a car entering the parking lot. They both looked at the man retrieving something from his trunk. Tyler heard Josh sigh next to him, his ”break” was over.
His phone told him that it was already 5:30am, he didn’t realize they had stayed up there so long. Without a word, they stood and left the roof. Josh climbed down the ladder first, and Tyler took the chance to look at the stars one last time.
Next thing he knew, they were already in front of his truck. He stared at Josh, who was staring at the ground.
”Will I see you again?” The words left Josh’s lips shyly, seeming to float in the space between them.
”When I’m done with my work duties, maybe I’ll stop by on my way home. I’ll probably need to buy a new pack of cans.” He spoke slowly, just loud enough for the drummer to hear.
”Yeah ?” The hope in the other man’s eyes told him that he had made the right decision by not shying away as he normally would.
”Yeah.” A silence hung between them. ”I’ll have more time ahead of me… If you want.”
Josh didn’t answer at first. He just placed a hand on Tyler’s shoulder, letting it rest here as he didn’t quite know what to do next. For once, Tyler decided not to listen to the voices in his head warning him to keep his distance, and he pulled the man into a light embrace without thinking twice.
Josh froze for a second. He probably wasn’t expecting it, but reciprocated the gesture as soon as he processed what was happening.
The light embrace quickly turned into a hug, and Tyler’s heart cracked a little when he realized he had almost forgotten what it felt like to be held. They stayed like that for a moment, feeling each other’s warmth through their coats. Strangely, it didn’t feel awkward at all.
”I would like that.” Josh whispered the words, his head buried in Tyler’s clothing.
Tyler couldn’t really wrap his head around why he had been holding his breath the entire time he waited for Josh’s answer. He only knew that his lungs finally let the air back in once he heard it.
”Good.”
They finally let go of each other. The man refueling his car nearby was probably wondering what was going on in the parking lot, but they couldn’t have cared less.
”Well… I should probably go.” Now that the hug was over, Tyler didn’t know what to do with his hands. He kept scratching at his hair to focus on something.
”Yeah… I should reopen the store, in case this guy wants to buy something.” Josh spoke without much conviction, he didn’t even try to hide his lack of enthusiasm at the idea of going back to work.
”Mmh. Don’t bring him up on the roof.” Josh raised his head and watched him with an amused look. Tyler didn’t add anything, just held his gaze and smirked, feeling more confident now than he had a few hours ago.
There was nothing more to say, they both knew they would meet again.
Josh didn’t wait for Tyler to jump back into his truck before heading back to the store. One more word, one more look, might have been enough for him to hop in the car. But it wasn’t a possibility. Not yet.
Tyler hit the road again, and just before the sun began to rise, he saw a shooting star.