Chapter Text
Harris has been bored lately. He’s been having a hard time finding out what he wants to do for the next Team Social Media series. He asked the fans what they would want to see, and to Harris’s surprise, everybody wanted the team to teach them Biology?
So, of course Harris complies.
“Did you see my Twitter post the other day?” Harris asks Troy one day when they’re in his office. Troy looks up at him from his phone.
“You know I don’t use Twitter.”
“Right, well, I asked people what they wanted our next series to be, guess what they said.”
Troy stares at Harris for a moment, with a small smile on his face. “I have no idea.”
“No, no, I want you to guess!”
“Uh I don’t know, something about music?”
Harris’s eyes widened with his smile, “No but that’s a good one! The fans want the team to teach them,” he pauses for dramatic effect. “Drum roll please,” Harris does a drum roll on his desk, “Biology!”
The concept of this is so bizarre that it actually forces a laugh–albeit a confused laugh–out of Troy. “Are you serious?” He asks.
“I am so serious,” Harris says as he pulls out his phone, “look at this.” Harris shows Troy his post, as well as the comments.
Harris’s post:
Okay guys, now that our last social media series is finished, what do you want to see from us this season?
Top comment:
I almost failed my last bio test can you guys help me 😭
“And everybody in the comments is telling us to help that person with their class, so like, obviously we have to deliver! I mean what if I ignored their comment and they end up failing their class? My reputation as the best MLH social media manager would be ruined.”
Troy is still smiling when he says, “that is actually insane. Have you told any of the other guys yet?”
“I haven’t! I was gonna tell them at tonight’s practice.”
“This is going to be hilarious.”
***
“Harris, you are genius,” Ilya says when Harris tells him about the next series. “I would love to teach the fans about Biology, I think I will be the…” Ilya thinks for a second, trying to think of the English word for what he is thinking of. “What is it? The powerhouse?”
This makes Harris laugh, “The mitochondria?”
“Yes, the powerhouse of the cell. You see, I am second best player in the league, some might say I am powerhouse of the rink.”
Ilya is honestly excited to do the Biology series. He doesn’t know a lot about Biology, he’s been immersed in hockey his whole life, but he thinks that because it is such a bizarre idea, it will gain a lot of viewers. Plus it will probably be very fun.
***
The next team practice, Harris already has his gear set up to record by the time most of the team arrives. Most of them also don’t know what the theme of the new series is.
Harris reached out to the fan that made this suggestion, asking what material they wanted the team to cover. They sent him their powerpoints from class, so he would have something to work off of. The first topic from the slides is monomers and polymers.
As the team begins making their way to the ice, Harris begins filming.
“This is a monomer,” Harris says from behind the camera as Luca Haas walks by, in true wildlife documentary fashion.
Luca turns around confused, “What?”
“Oh, nothing Haas, you’re good, keep going.”
The next player to go by is Troy. “This is also a monomer,” from behind the camera, Harris smiles at Troy. Troy gives him a loving Troy face in return.
As more players come out, Harris continues to identify them as monomers. Once there are enough people on the ice, Harris asks them to line up. “Now, each of these monomers are repeated. This repetition makes them polymers! They’re probably protein ones, you can tell from their hockey player physiques.”
***
The next topic to cover is polysaccharides. Harris decides that he will secretly assign a few of the players to a polysaccharide listed on the slideshow.
When Bood walks by Harris on his way to the ice, Harris stops him and says “Here is our first polysaccharide: starch! Starch has to do with energy storage in plants, a common version of it is a potato, which is great for cookouts!”
“Oh and here is our next polysaccharide!” Harris says as Wyatt Hayes walks by, looking startled by his exclamation. “This one is glycogen. It aids in the energy storage in animals, specifically in muscles–This glycogen even married another glycogen, she works at the hospital!”
Hayes laughs, “Harris, what is this new series, man?”
“Don’t worry about it!” He responds. “Here’s our next one,” Harris says as Troy walks out. “This is a cellulose polysaccharide, these ones aid in the sugar storage in plants, that’s probably why they’re so sweet.”
Finally, Ilya walks by, “And here is our last polysaccharide: Chitin. This one is the cytoskeleton of insects and crustaceans…I feel like the Kratt Brothers,” Harris states.
“I don’t know who they are,” Ilya says.
“What!?” Harris is shocked.
Troy skates over to the wall, “What’s going on?”
“Rozanov doesn’t know who the Kratt Brothers are!”
Troy laughs at Harris, “I mean, that’s not that crazy, I can’t imagine kids in Russia watch a lot of Wild Kratts or Zoboomafoo. Why are you talking about them, anyway?”
“I was just saying I feel like them.”
Troy is silent for a moment, “Like…both of them, or one in particular?”
“Well, yeah, both. But mainly Martin.”
***
Harris begins the next episode when the team is already on the ice, “Okay guys, for this one we’re going to make a simulation.”
“Can I be the mitochondria?” Ilya asks, causing the players that don’t know the theme to look at him confused.
“No, not for this one, you can be the energy though.” Harris considers how he wants to organize this, “Okay, Bood, Hayes, and Haas, the three of you stand next to each other in a line, Troy, stand next to Haas, but not as close, like keep a little extra distance.”
“Wait,” Troy says, “What is this a simulation of?”
“Dehydration synthesis,” Harris tells him, “I think it’s the same thing as condensation? Okay, so Bood, Hayes, and Haas, you guys are a polymer, Troy, you’re just a monomer, but we want to join you to the polymer to make it longer, to do that, we have to use energy, so if Rozanov gives you a little push, and holds you to the polymer, that energy will join you to the polymer. That is dehydration synthesis. But if we wanted to break it back down, we would use hydrolysis. So, if Rozanov lets go, the energy is released, which can cause you, Troy, to unlink, and be a monomer again.”
***
“For this episode, you guys are gonna have to participate in a little simulation, again,” Harris tells the team as they get onto the ice. “Ilya, since you’re the captain, you can be the bond.”
“The bond for what?” He asks.
“The double bond. It’s to help us differentiate saturated and unsaturated fatty acids. If I could have all of you, except for Rozanov, stand in a line: that is a saturated fatty acid. But–wait actually, could you guys like, hold hands, or lock arms, or something.” All the players in the line lock arms. “Now, if Rozanov tries to skate between Troy and Luca, right down the middle, he is a double bond, he causes the line to bend, forming an unsaturated fatty acid.”
***
For the video about phospholipids, Harris decided he wanted to try a different style. Tonight’s game is Ottawa vs. Montreal, and Ilya and Shane Hollander face off in the third period, at this point they’re both dripping with sweat which is perfect for the amphipathic example.
Harris records the face off so he can voiceover it, “In this phospholipid bilayer…get it? No? Well, I thought it was funny, anyway. Rozanov and Hollander are each a phospholipid–these are amphipathic, this means they have hydrophilic heads (being represented by Ilya and Shane), and they have hydrophobic tails (represented by their hockey sticks). Hydrophilic means they like, and I think absorb water (you can see this since they’re both gross and sweaty), and hydrophobic means the tails/sticks don’t like water, they repel it. I figured a faceoff would be a good representation of this, because the phospholipid tails cluster at the center of the bilayer.”