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Lando knew when he needed to ignore all outside distractions and focus on the task at hand. He was paid millions of dollars to drive the car and drive it well. That’s all he needed to focus on in Melbourne. Even when all he could see was the videos of Oscar crashing during the reconnaissance lap. Every time he saw Max in his mirrors he knew he needed to stay ahead, to drive quicker, to be able to talk with Oscar. He knew Oscar. They had been teammates for four years now, he knew he wouldn’t get the comfort he needed from his family. He would just sit in his drivers room watching the race on his phone thinking of everything he could’ve done differently while telling everyone that he was fine. That’s exactly why Lando bolted towards Oscar's room once the race was done.
Lando didn’t know why he thought he could be the one to get to Oscar but he just knew he had to try. In their four years as teammates there has not been a more crucial moment for Lando to try and reach out to Oscar. They’ve confided in each other before, helped each other through tough races, reminded each other that no matter what they were still great drivers. Now Oscar crashed at his home grand prix before it had even started, this was crucial for Lando.
Lando stared at his own driver's room across from Oscars. Analyzed the nameplate upon the door. He could easily slip in and change before seeing Oscar, be more comfortable and out of his racesuit. But no, he needed to show Oscar just how much he cared. Needed to show up in his race suit, face still flushed from the exertion, hair still a mess from the balaclava.
With that conclusion Lando turned to see Oscar's nameplate on his own door. Holding up his knuckles prepared to knock as he took a deep breath. He could handle any state that Oscar was in. He knocked, awaiting whatever response that he got. No matter what he was going to see Oscar.
“Doors unlocked.” Oscar yelled. Lando stood shocked that it was that easy for him to get in the room. Oscar didn’t sound too despondent. He supposed Oscar was trying to hide it from whoever he thought was on the other side of the door. Lando pushed open the door to Oscar sitting on his seat. The room looked spotless like Oscar had been using the time that the race took to clean up his room. “Lando, I was not expecting you.” Lando's eyes finally found Oscars. He had a smile on his face but pain behind his eyes. He was good at hiding it well. Looking like his normal self to everyone else but Lando knew better.
“I came to see how you were.” Lando watched Oscar's shoulders rise. His whole body tightening up at the mention of his feelings. Exhaustion clouded Oscar's usually bright chocolatey brown eyes. Oscar’s working so hard to hold back the pain that he doesn’t want anyone else to be bothered by. Lando wanted to go to Oscar, to hug him and tell him it’s alright but he didn’t dare move further than the threshold of the door.
“I am okay,” Oscar looked down to his lap where his hands were picking at the skin around his fingers. “Things happen. I can't have a perfect race every weekend.” Oscar chuckled and Lando could feel the pain. “I will just do better next weekend.” Oscar looked back and smiled at Lando.
“Don’t”
“Don’t what?” Oscar looked between Lando’s eyes confused.
“Don’t give me the PR response you give everyone else.” Lando took this chance to move to Oscar. He sat down beside Oscar in the tight space of the bench making their thighs touch. He never left Oscar's eyes even for a second as he moved. “We are teammates and we are equals. You don’t need to hide from me because I understand you. I understand you more than anyone else. We have been teammates for four years, I know when you are hurting.”
“What if I can’t do it?” Oscar asked as his eyes began to gloss over with tears threatening to form.
“Can’t do what?” There were so many things that Oscar could be referring to. They were racing drivers and there was a lot of talk about what they could and couldn’t do. Lando knows how it feels to feel like the whole world has an opinion over one's ability to do anything.
“What if I can’t be world champion? What if I don’t have that potential?” Those tears threatening to fall finally fell. Oscar's eyes were beginning to redden as he went back to picking at his skin.
“Oh, Osc.” Lando's hand found Oscar's thigh, “You showed all of that potential you needed to last season. You will have that chance again.” Lando's thumb rubbed back and forth across Oscar's skin. It’s the only thing that held him back from telling Oscar everything that Lando loved about him. His three year long crush has been threatening to spill over since last season. It took everything in him not to run over and kiss Oscar when he won the championship. He didn’t know how much longer he could keep it in since then. The winter break helped him since they weren’t around each other but as soon as the season started again he felt that desire flourish again.
“Did I really though?” Oscar didn’t look at Lando. He kept his eyes trained on his hands and the skin around them. “As soon as I saw the championship within eyesight I failed at every turn. No pun intended.” Oscar chuckled. Lando didn’t waver at Oscar's attempt to lighten up the situation. Even if Oscar wouldn’t look at him, Lando made sure to keep his eyes on Oscar to show him that he had Lando's full attention. “I have crashed more in the past five months than I had in my entire F1 career. I was so hell bent on winning the championship that I was willing to ruin my reputation as a reliable driver. I made rookie mistakes that cost me everything. I can’t help but see myself as a failure. My entire purpose in life was to be an F1 driver, to win the World Championship. I don’t know who I am without it.” Lando couldn’t handle the words that Oscar was saying nor could he handle Oscar picking at his hands. So he did the only sensible thing and grabbed Oscar's hand, interlocking their fingers and putting both their hands in his lap. Oscar looked to Lando with a wide expression for a second before he went back to looking at his lap. “I came into this season thinking that this was my year and I was going to actually do it. Then during testing we were overweight, the Ferraris are stupid good at starts, and the Mercedes are a rocketship. All those dreams flew away instantly. Then I qualified fifth and thought just maybe I could break the Australian home race curse but I crashed and it felt like the end of last year all over again. Like I am this worthless driver who could never win anything and has no potential.”
“Oh Osc, why didn’t you say anything to anybody sooner?” Lando took his free hand to wipe off the tears still on Oscar's cheeks. His thumb rubbed circles back and forth across the back of Oscar's hand.
“I didn’t want to be a bother to anyone. This was my own problem for me to try and solve.” Oscar finally looked at Lando and stayed there locking eyes with him.
Lando didn’t move his hand from Oscar's cheek, instead he used light pressure to make sure Oscar didn’t turn away from him again, “You wouldn’t have been a bother. You have friends and family who want you to lean on them. I want you to lean on me and tell me when something's wrong. I want to be there for you in the good times and the bad.” Now was a better time than ever for Lando to pour out his heart and soul for Oscar. “No matter what, I will always be in your corner. I do not care what it’s about, I want to hear about it. Especially when I knew if someone was going to beat me last year it was going to be you. Not Max, but you.”
“You have your own things to worry about let alone the things I am dealing with.” Oscar looked down at their hands still interlocked in Lando's lap.
“I want to deal with everything you are feeling. No matter what is going on in my life I want to hear about yours.” Lando took a second to let all the things he was saying to Oscar settle between them. Oscar's eyes slowly moved up to Landos, the air thickening between the two of them. “I would hope you would want to do the same for me.”
Oscar squeezed Lando’s hand in response, “Of course I want to do that for you also. I loved being the one who helped you at the beginning of last season and I’ve loved you always coming to me after a bad race. I love knowing I will always have you by my side and I will always be beside yours.” Oscar took a deep breath and leaned into Lando’s touch on his cheek. “I just didn’t want to overwhelm you with everything going on in my head. Now that I know you are okay with it I will tell you everything.” Oscar hesitated for a second. He had just told Lando he would tell him everything which meant he couldn’t keep the secret he had been holding in for so long stay in any longer. “Please tell me if I am getting the wrong impression but can I kiss you?”
Lando didn’t respond; he just surged forward, colliding his lips with Oscar. He had been waiting for this moment for so long he didn’t want to wait any longer. Oscar immediately reciprocated as he moved his own free hand to Lando's cheek. It took three years of circling around each other's feelings and one bad race for them to finally realize what's there between them. Lando could not be happier to be sitting in Oscar's drivers room kissing him. This is exactly where he needed to be, not in some debrief meeting, not talking to the press. Right here holding, kissing, and comforting Oscar.
That night Lando didn’t go back to his hotel room. Rather Oscar had invited him to his childhood home for dinner with the rest of the family. Oscar's family knew how much Oscar cared for Lando and how close of friends they were. There didn’t need to be any formal introduction, there didn’t need to be any labels just yet. Lando was Oscar's friend and that was proof enough that he could be at the table Oscar used to sit around as a kid laughing with Oscar's family like he’s always belonged.