Chapter Text
It has been four years since John walked through the forest he spent his childhood playing in. In his last two visits back to the fairy-tale world—the first to invite his mother to his wedding, and the second to let her meet his children—he ensured to keep them as quick as possible. Every minute in the fairy-tale world was precious days in the Otherworld he could have spent with his wife and kids.
But that is no longer a problem, John thinks with a smile. Because of the birth of my children.
Miraculously, after the birth of the first children of both worlds, the two worlds started moving at similar speeds. The time difference became almost negligible, and the risk of missing out on years of life in the Otherworld by taking a stroll through the fairy-tale world was eliminated.
John walks slowly, taking in the sight of the grass, trees, plants, and the sky. He listens to the chirping of birds, feels the warmth of the sun on his skin, and the slight breeze that blows over his face. He takes stops to reminisce on childhood memories and pick flowers that he collects into two bouquets. He did not expect to be in this forest again.
It is all still surreal to him. He always believed he had to sacrifice one world over another—keeping both was never an option. But here he is, walking through the forest he believed he had forever left behind four years ago. He hums happily, grateful for the gift Alex and Conner’s existence gave him.
The last time John was here, he was a desperate, miserable man. He spent his whole life trying to follow his mother’s footsteps, only to despair because his greatest wish in life meant going against her wishes. Now, only four years later, John is happy and content with his life. He finally has the happy family he has always longed for.
After completing his two bouquets, John turns around, walking until he finds the path. He follows it until a familiar sight comes into view.
A graveyard stands before him. It is small, with only a handful of graves inside. John enters it and approaches a grave on the right. It is well-maintained, and a patch of wildflowers grows beside it.
“Hello, Father,” John greets the grave, taking a seat beside it.
The last time he visited his father’s grave, it was before he ventured to find a way into the Otherworld. He wanted to say goodbye before he left the fairy-tale world forever, but now, he can return.
“I married her,” John says with a wide smile on his face. “Charlotte, the Otherworld woman I fell in love with. I did the impossible and completed the wishing spell. After seeing my determination, Mother gave me her blessing and I moved to the Otherworld. And you’re a grandfather now! Charlotte and I have two twins—Alex and Conner.”
He goes on like that for a while, happily updating his father on how great his life has become. He feels much lighter after, like a weight being lifted off his chest. He places the bouquet near his father’s grave, stands up, and brushes the dirt off his clothes.
Then, John’s cheerful demeanor shifts. He turns his gaze to a grave to his left. It is neglected and overgrown with grass. Moss, dirt, and grime has begun to obscure the name engraved upon the stone. Slowly, John walks towards it, his steps filled with unease.
John opens his mouth to say something to the grave, like he did with his father’s, but only silence fills the air. John would say he is a talkative man; He can start a conversation with just about anyone, but he finds himself at a loss for words.
“Lloyd,” is all John can say.
A happy greeting would not suit them. John was never close with his brother. He has no fond memories of him, either. John does not tell the grave about Charlotte, Alex, or Conner. Lloyd, being the most vindictive person John knows, will try to defy death and cross dimensions simply to cause his family misery.
As children, they were as different as night and day, and try as he might, John never found a way to get close to his brother. All attempts at bonding were awkward and rarely earned more than a sentence long response from Lloyd. Talking to him was not much different from talking to his grave. He was most often silent, and there was this lifeless look in his eyes as if nothing interested him or brought him joy.
As adolescents, after Mother revealed Lloyd’s true nature and plans, he made it abundantly clear that he felt nothing but utter loathing for his family and longed to tear them all down. John is an optimistic person who tries to see the best in everyone, but even he eventually saw that there was nothing to Lloyd but malice. John tried to love his brother, he really did, but there is a limit to how many schemes and insults and squabbles one can handle before snapping.
John has not forgotten the time he helped Mother pick an Otherworld book to gift to Lloyd. He chose it carefully, wanting only the best for his brother. Maybe, maybe, it would have gotten Lloyd to change.
Lloyd tore it apart the moment he received it. John remembers how the pages spilled on the floor.
“Did you think this would fix anything?” Lloyd barked at Mother. “Did you think this would make me love you? I never will. Never again. I will always hate you.”
John did not think Lloyd could do any worse. Then, upon seeing Mother’s heartbroken expression, he burst into mocking laughter. That was the first time John saw him express any sort of joy. His laugh was cruel, evil, and lacking in humanity. In that moment, Lloyd seemed more akin to a malevolent spirit than a person—dead and only animated by his need to cause pain.
Lloyd slammed his bedroom door on them. Mother bent down and collected the pages, fighting tears in her eyes. The devastated look on her face was forever burned into John’s memories. He helped her, and for the first time in his life, felt hatred simmering through him.
“I love you,” John told his mother.
“I love you too.” Mother smiled but it did not reach her eyes. She ruffled her son's hair and kissed his forehead. A choked sob escaped her. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
John has not forgiven Lloyd for that. All remaining love and hope for his brother was killed then and there.
When Lloyd ran away, John was scared. Not for him, but of him. Who knew what Lloyd would do after escaping the little control they had over him? He would most likely plot their deaths and attempt to take over the Fairy Kingdom. Lloyd was so full of hatred and spite, he would stop at nothing until he got to outlive them all and celebrate the day they died.
John did not expect his little brother to die just three days after.
Mother found his body in a river. He took his own life, but John could not believe it. Even during the funeral, and when they buried him six feet under, John refused to accept it. It had to be a plot, some sort of master scheme, where Lloyd would lure them into a false sense of security until he found his time to strike. Even as days went by, John’s conviction that his brother was causing trouble somewhere far away only grew stronger.
But then the years passed. John travelled to the Otherworld and fell in love. Lloyd was still dead. John went against his mother’s wishes for the first time. Lloyd was still dead. John resigned as his mother’s apprentice and heir of magic. Lloyd was still dead. John left his home dimension. Lloyd was still dead. John got married. Lloyd was still dead. John became a father. Lloyd was still dead. John returned to the fairy-tale world.
As unbelievable as reality is, John has to accept it at some point.
Lloyd is truly dead.
Yet for some strange reason, accepting his brother is dead does not make John feel better. John stares at the grave, a bitterness rising in his throat. He does not mourn Lloyd, there is nothing about him to miss. But regret fills him anyway. He wonders how his childhood could have been if his father had not died, if his mother’s attention was not primarily on his little brother, and if his brother was even just the slightest bit less evil.
But the past can never be changed. All John can do now is give Alex and Conner the happy and ordinary childhood he did not have. He has not told them about Lloyd, and he’s not sure if he ever will. He does not want to burden them with their family's baggage. Even if he wanted to, he does not know how to.
‘Was he hopeless?’ John imagines Alex and Conner asking.
And John does not know how to respond. Alex and Conner are good, bright-eyed kids whose lives are filled with fairy-tales and happily-ever-afters. John does not know how to tell them that yes, some people just cannot be saved. Some people refuse to change. People you love can be the ones to hurt you in all ways possible. He does not know how to wrap up the story with a neat little bow and moral lesson like he did with the cutting of one of his favorite forests and the death of a childhood friend.
There was once a boy. He was born miserable. He made others miserable. He died miserable. The End.
‘Yes,’ is his answer. ‘I’m sorry.’
John sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. Lloyd is never a good subject to think about. He places the bouquet down and silently pays his respects.
Although his childhood pains him, he has Charlotte and his children now. In the Otherworld, John has been granted a clean slate. He can put his past behind and start anew.