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Kakashi had finally been domesticated.
There was no other explanation.
He realized with horror as he stared at the three genin, that he was utterly fucked. Completely and utterly fucked. Beyond restoration. There was a plan he had at fourteen of the most discreet way he could die in battle just so he didn’t have to deal with this raging guilt and pain he had. Then he’d been in the ANBU and was in charge of Yamato and Itachi and, well, a whole squadron. So, he had some experience in child rearing he supposed.
He was forcibly retired and then the three right before him were practically thrusted upon him. Seriously, he had no plans of treating them any differently than his previously failed teams, but with the last heir to the esteemed Uchihas and village jinchuuriki, he had to pass them. It was a good thing they knew how to put their differences aside and work together. Sort of.
Now that Kakashi thinks about it, the only children he’s ever “raised” were ones who were already well versed in the shinobi arts. So, there wasn’t really much raising to do. Once he made that realization he knew he was fucked. Even greater than before. And so, he’d done what any sensible sensei would do— he observed. No matter how many times they cursed his name, they were the ones digging weeds out of a garden and not him.
Like a dog with a toy, he flaunted his freedom from such activities right in front of their face. After all, he wasn’t the one who had to do silly things like dog walking. Kakashi never really had experience in normal genin missions. Not much anyway. Just right after making genin, he had become a chuunin and was shortly thrusted into the war right after. So, really, his only experience was with killing. And kidnapping. His earlier years were a bit of a blur.
Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he told himself that teaching fresh academy students the art of killing wasn’t what he was supposed to do, but then if he wasn’t, Lord Third should’ve never taken him out of the ANBU. He understood why he did, it was probably worse on his mental health and he was hoping that maybe being around innocent youth would soothe his mind a bit. Perhaps even be therapeutic. But there was nothing therapeutic in listening to Naruto screech about how much better he was than Sasuke.
Was this how Minato-sensei felt? Oh boy, this was going to be a long ride. There needs to be a way to make sure they all get along. And then that’s when it happened. If one were to ask Kakashi about his relationship with his students, he would’ve said that he wasn’t attached. Not in the slightest. But he’d gotten attached to Yamato. Itachi too. And was swiftly reminded why he shouldn’t be attached. So, he really hadn’t meant to, but that was the funny thing about life. It does what it likes.
—
Nowhere in this.. agreement did he ever ponder the idea of them sitting in his apartment in complete silence. There was something off about said silence, it wasn’t comfortable, wasn’t entirely uncomfortable either— yet, there was an uneasiness in the air. The scent of fear. He could maybe understand why the two were afraid, they bursted in here in quite the rush. Naruto hefted by his arms on each of their shoulders as they banged heavily on his door.
Supposedly the hospital wouldn’t let him in; claimed he wasn’t human so they couldn’t help him. Kakashi had expected as much, that didn’t mean it didn’t send a surge of rage whenever he heard such tales. So, yes, he understood the fear aspect. Naruto hadn’t moved an inch since they brought him here and so, they all feared the worst. Kakashi did his best in patching him up, he noticed that all the wounds had begun to heal already— the minor ones already gone.
But he told them that Naruto would be fine and still, they hadn’t left. Sakura sat on the couch, clinging to the fabric of her dress as she fidgeted uncomfortably next to Sasuke. The boy beside her was as nonchalant as ever, but Kakashi could see how stiff his posture was. Almost like he was ready for an attack. He knew it wasn’t just Naruto being injured, though, that had fueled it by some. They had been this way before the Land of Waves, and it became worse so on after.
“What is it?” He found himself asking in the stiff atmosphere.
Sakura had jumped while Sasuke only shifted his eyes onto him.
“You know you’re free to go home, right? It’s not like I’ve kidnapped you,” he laughed, though his joke hadn’t quite landed as he intended.
“We’re just worried about Naruto,” Sakura said in a meek voice.
Kakashi hummed. He did like this development, it was good to be worried over your injured, vulnerable teammate. Best of all, to stay by his side.
“I see. You sure there’s nothing else?” And that had gotten out a reaction.
Sakura fumbled with the fabric of her dress and Sasuke’s eyebrows twitched. They almost looked guilty. He couldn’t understand why though. They hadn’t been the ones to let Naruto become injured. Or perhaps it was something else.
“Well, it’s just…” he waited for her to finish. Let her take her time. “We heard some things.”
“Oh? What things?” He was quite curious. Lots of rumors about him spread from time to time, it taught him to never pay attention to them.
Sakura fidgeted some more. Sasuke, upon seeing this, decided it would be best to finish the sentence for her.
“It’s stupid,” he said. “We heard of your time from when you were in the ANBU, some of them told us to be careful, is all.”
He was going to kill everyone who had approached his impressionable students.
Who goes up to fresh genin and says that their sensei might kill them so they had better watch their backs?!?
“And you believe them?” He asked, slowly.
“No! We don’t. We just…” she trailed off.
How incredible for him. He was like a big, scary dog frightening week old pups with his teeth. But he never bit. Not anymore, anyway.
“It's okay if you believe them, I haven’t given you reason to not believe them,” Kakashi tried soothing them, but honestly, what was soothing in what he said?
“That’s not true, sensei!” Sakura exclaimed. “You said you would never let your comrades die, right? We believe you over any rumors.” Sasuke nodded along with her.
Oh no.
This was incredibly dangerous.
The amount of trust they had in him, how was he to lead them now? At least in the ANBU nobody had expected anything from him. Yes, he was their captain, but they understood that they could die at any second and they were under the belief that Kakashi wouldn’t hesitate to sacrifice them for the mission. So, in that, there was no way to be disappointed in him. Kakashi never failed his missions either.
But with this… this was an entirely different level.
He stood there freaking the hell out internally because even though he had tried keeping distance due to his incredible lack of social skills and unwanted desire of being near impressionable children, somehow, someway, they had decided to put their wholehearted faith in him, and well, that was his duty as their sensei, yes? But he wasn’t ready for this again. He wasn’t ready to be a part of a team again, even if it was full of dumb children.
The two were staring at him, expecting an answer.
“Right,” he smiled.
—
Three days.
Three whole days of them stuck inside his own house.
He really did wish they had gone home, but something about teamwork and bonds they had mumbled to him and with great hesitance, he let them stay. It’s been quite some time since there’s been other people in his apartment. After his teammates died, he shut himself off and drowned himself in missions. People tried visiting, but after realizing they wouldn’t get an answer, they stopped. It was better that way.
So he’d forgotten how lively a living space could be. Naruto woke up immediately after a night’s rest, shouting how hungry he was. Kakashi sighed as that meant he would have to cook, and he wasn’t too keen on providing. But as a sensei, it was his duty to provide. Kakashi found himself in the kitchen whipping up something that wasn’t ramen for the kid.
“Man, this is so good!” He scarfed down the food. “You could open up a restaurant, y'know!"
“Just try not to choke,” he sighed.
He offered the rest to the other two that were practically ogling the leftovers. He didn’t make enough for all of them, but that was okay. So long as they were fed, he’d be okay. In his defense, he was to raise these kids into proper shinobi. It was part of the package to have a good diet. That’s exactly what he was doing. Them staying over could be considered training, just a change of scenery.
And then it turned night and they still weren’t leaving. Perhaps this was a test of his abilities to properly care for fresh genin. Kakashi never failed any missions, he wouldn’t start now. He would argue that having a proper sleeping schedule was also a part of training. They needed rest to function properly. And because he was their sensei, he did not tuck them into bed, rather he let them sort it out themselves. He only checked on them to make sure they were sleeping correctly.
They slept soundly in the same room he put Naruto in. Naruto somehow came undone from his sheets and made himself known to both Sasuke and Sakura. The raven haired boy furrowed his brows in his sleep, but hadn’t awoken to his knowledge. Sakura had her sheets partially slipped off as her fingertips touched that of Naruto’s. The sight was not adorable. Not at all.
By the second day, they were still, for some reason, here.
Kakashi had awoken with the sun and crept to their temporary room. They had all still been there, though much more entangled than when he last saw them. Naruto had completely shoved the sheets way past where they had been originally, his hand rested upon the Uchiha’s face as his foot lay under Sakura's weight. Her head rested upon his chest with Sasuke’s arm curled around Naruto’s face. They liked to argue so much, seeing them so cuddly was almost hilarious.
In the serenity of early morning, Kakashi was able to clearly gather his thoughts. Something was definitely wrong here. None of them had asked him about training yet. Not as if they weren’t training, of course. This was all training. Yes. It was. Training. Naruto was still injured and he just knew that if he sent the kid home as the others trained without him, he would never hear the end of it. Kakashi already got so much slack from the hokage about them, he didn't need anymore of it from the ones who caused it.
He was brought out of the pages of his book when three lumbering bodies came into view. Each groggy and still tired from sleep, Kakashi smiled as he wished them a good morning. He realized that they couldn’t go home now because they were tired and still sleepy, so they needed some strength before heading home. That’s how he got to cooking them a meal for the second time, this time he made quite a bit because he knew Naruto had an appetite on him.
When the boy asked for another plate, he served him one without question. He ate this time and once they were all fed, he waited for them to go home because surely they would go home now. But perhaps they needed to wait until their food was digested before making the trek. So he listened as the three talked from their shared room as Kakashi focused in on his book. He’d gone to secretly check up on them and found the absolute mess they made of Sakura’s hair.
He was surprised she even let the two mongrels play in it. Sasuke tried styling it up and Naruto just kept messing up his progress. The kid didn't even brush his own hair, Kakashi didn’t understand how he thought he could style Sakura’s, whose hair was longer than his. He sighed fondly and finished up the dishes from breakfast. He wasn’t expecting them to rush to his side to put his hair through the same fate Sakura’s had endured.
It was just ridiculous. These three were ridiculous.
Kakashi tried leading Naruto back to bed, he was still injured, after all. The boy wasn’t cooperating until Kakashi had placed a hand in his hair and the man had noticed how pliant he’d become. He preened under his touch, which made him wonder if there truly was no one Naruto had that could show him affection. It made him wonder if Sasuke was the same way. He placed an experimental hand in the boy’s hair, which earned him a rightful glare but he wasn’t pushed away.
How strange.
Night fell and they were still not home, so they must have been really worried about Naruto. Once again, he did not tuck them into bed. He watched as they got under the covers all on their own. Not in any way did he ever place tons of blankets just to make sure they were comfortable. In no such way was that ever a possibility. He fell asleep on the couch completely by accident and was soon awoken to the sound of crying.
Sniffling to be exact.
It was the distinct noise of wet chunks splashing water that made him dart up. He crept quietly so as to not wake the kids, and found himself in the bathroom next. Sasuke hurled over the toilet as he sat defeatedly on the ground. He vomited everything he had eaten that day as the tears raced after another. Kakashi knew this was a private moment, but he didn’t want the other to suffer through it alone. Like he had in the past years.
A soft knock alerted his presence, to which the Uchiha whipped his head around in his direction.
“May I come in?”
Sasuke wiped at his mouth, nodding in silent consent.
Kakashi padded over to the boy, sitting beside him.
“Want to talk about it?” He said.
Sasuke pursed his lips. “I don’t even remember. It’s always like this, it’ll pass.”
“You can’t remember what made you like this?” He asked.
Sasuke nodded.
Kakashi figured it was a nightmare, probably from the massacre. He was the same way after Rin and Obito’s death. Sasuke opened his mouth as another wave of saliva poured out before giving way to the oncoming vomit. Kakashi held back his hair without even thinking, rubbing circles in his back. He knew the other must’ve hated it, he probably thought it made him weak, but Kakashi couldn’t resist.
Sasuke was so much like him when he was younger.
He didn’t want that for him.
“Why’re you doing this?” He rasped, spitting out excess saliva.
Well, sensei’s were always looking out for the wellbeing of their students. They were, yes? He was more capable than the other kids, so he was already jonin at Sasuke’s age, but that never stopped Minato from worrying about him. Always keeping a watchful eye on him. That's what he was doing right now. Keeping a watchful eye over his students.
“Do I need a reason to care for you?” Kakashi said.
Sasuke shut himself up immediately.
He let the boy clean himself up before leading him back to bed. And Kakashi did not fall asleep inside the room. Not a bit.
—
The third morning had risen with hazy clouds and pastel pink skies mingling with baby blue. It came with the aroma of pancakes being fried, Kakashi in the kitchen without question. He had woken up before them, just as he always had, preparing each with large stacks of pancakes. The scent of fresh food must’ve carried throughout the house from the way chairs scrapping against wood echoed behind.
He’d done it without thinking, serving them food, making sure they cleaned themselves up, nursing Naruto’s healing wounds. They were just about healed by now. He let them see his face quite a bit ago, none of them had given a reaction in the slightest. It was then, as he made the bed of Naruto’s because it was the only one in disarray, had he come to a realization.
He’d been domesticated.
Thoroughly, and utterly domesticated.
Had this been Lord Hiruzen’s plan all along? Kick him out of the ANBU and make him fall soft with a bunch of wet nosed genin? He sat there, listening to Naruto and Sasuke argue and wrestle as Sakura sounded just about done with their bullshit. He’d been domesticated. Truly. Like the lone wolf captured by early humans, he had been turned into nothing but a hound dog.
The realization stuck with him all day as he ran on auto pilot. Still cleaning and cooking, styling up Sakura’s hair when she asked, helping Naruto understand his kanji, sharpening Sasuke’s kunai knives. He didn’t think it possible. To happen to him of all people. There were stories of team captains accidentally becoming too attached to their genin, but those cases were usually of shinobi who couldn’t have kids. Kakashi could, but he didn’t want them.
To think of a life where he’s settled down with mini little hims running around was an uncomfortable thought. He didn’t like kids. Never did. He still wondered how he fell into this position. He also never had such desires to find a partner and start a family together, he never felt them. He became aware of this after Obito exclaimed how weird he was. That's when Kakashi realized he didn’t feel romantic feelings at all.
It was probably for the best as a shinobi. Yet, here he was. Still with no partner but somehow with three kids that looked to him like he was their whole world. He could understand the appeal for children now. This was still something he would have to get used to, though. He found his three charges measuring their heights, laughing at Naruto who was undeniably the shortest.
“I’m gonna get so much bigger than you guys someday!” He shouted.
“You idiot,” Sasuke laughed.
Sakura giggled at their antics and Kakashi did too.
This was incredibly dangerous.
The way he cooked dinner without question. The way he served them and them accepting without question. This was dangerous. He was already on suicide watch, he couldn’t be suspected to ditch the leaf as well. Such cases were rare but not impossible. It usually only happens to team captains who’ve lost a genin, and so they might try to flee. Kakashi could not be like them.
No matter how much he wanted to.
Sitting here with them all, just talking and eating, the sound of metal scratching against porcelain accompanying them, Kakashi didn’t see soldiers, just kids. He really didn’t want them to turn out the way he had. There were traitorous thoughts of running away with them, lying so that they would comply. Maybe, overtime, they would forget all about this village and would live peacefully together. This village has already hurt them so much, what was running away going to do?
But since Kakashi was a hound, and loyal to the village as such, he wouldn’t run. He would not flee. He would raise the children to be good soldiers and be proud that he’d done the best he could. Even if it did hurt. Even if it did send them to an early grave. For that is the price every shinobi must pay. Night came once more and without question, they all slept. Entangled with one another, Kakashi falling asleep on the couch once more.
After that, the days started to blur together. He didn’t realize how long they had stayed, nor did he realize when he stopped thinking when they were going to go home and more of what he will cook them next. What he will teach them next. What he could do to help Sasuke’s nightmares. What he could do to fix Sakura’s unhealthy diet. What he could do to make sure Naruto could read. He knew they were all unhealthy, it was a good thing he was here to feed them.
Then the knock came at his door, which revealed the figures of Guy, Asuma, and Kurenai. They took in his appearance, they must’ve noticed the way he was simultaneously relaxed and on edge paired with his eyebags.
“No one’s seen Sasuke, Naruto, or Sakura in two weeks, Kakashi.” Asuma said.
Two weeks, was it?
He watched how the dread settled in each of them upon seeing Naruto clutched to his side, wandering to peer out the door when he saw Kakashi there. The cigar on Asuma’s lips dropped to the floor as his hand found its way into Naruto’s hair, ruffling it with incredible fondness.
They must’ve thought he’d finally snapped.
Kakashi would too.
He was still unsure if he hadn’t or not.
The three jonin were invited inside. Kurenai spoke with Sakura about genjutsu techniques, Sasuke joining in a little afterwards. Guy practically flung himself at the three, making them perform the oddest exorcises. Which left him outside with Asuma, and at some point, Gemma had shown up. He sat on the railings, doing a terrible job at hiding his shit eating grin.
“How’d you of all people get domesticated,” he said.
“I don’t know…” he replied, utterly defeated. He really didn’t understand it much himself.
“Well, in any case, you better control yourself before the council catches a whiff of this. You can say goodbye to those kids right now, if that happens.” Asuma lit another cigar.
The thought of the council separating him from the children had set panic straight through his chest. It became so clear to Kakashi that he was too deep into this domesticated business to crawl back out.
“Just act like you always do; uncaring,” Genma laughed.
“Very funny,” he huffed.
Asuma placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, with all the desperation a man could muster, he said, “Just take them outside. Please.”
Kakashi nodded.
It’s not like he was keeping them from going outside. They had gone out sometimes to get groceries or just some fresh air, they just always came back here.
“Man, I gotta meet these kids now,” Genma hopped off from his balcony railing and headed for the inside of his apartment. The two followed, walking in on Guy and Kurenai indulging the three in a card game.
Genma sat at the table, making short conversations with the three. Kakashi couldn’t help but feel as though this was some sort of spectacle for all the jonin. There was nothing spectacular about this situation. The genin noticed his return and welcomed him back in.
“Kaka-sensei, when are you making dinner? I’m so hungry,” he was embarrassed Naruto had the gall to ask that question. He could feel the humorous glances casted upon him.
“Yes, Kaka-sensei, when’re we getting dinner? I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” Genma, the absolute scumbag.
“A cow for me,” of course, Kurenai had to add to it.
“Such passionate youth! Yes, eat to your hearts content!” Whatever Guy said.
“Don’t you all have genin to train?” He grumbled.
“Nah, I don’t do kids.” Genma said.
Well, clearly I wasn’t asking you then.
“We sent them on a mission to test them. You should be doing the same soon,” Kurenai smirked. There was always a quiet but deadly rivalry simmering between the two. It’s just that Kakashi was lax and Kurenai was so coolheaded, a heated battle was not a thing that came of it. Cold but calculated words were thrown instead, along with subtle glances that spoke volumes.
“Adequate training takes time, I’d hope you of all people would know this.” He shot back. Sickly sweet smiles were exchanged albeit Kakashi’s being hidden.
He prepared tea in the meantime. Because he was absolutely not making dinner for more than four people.
“Naruto, if you do that you’re gonna die from a sugar overdose.” Sakura chided as the boy dropped four sugar cubes into his cup.
“Nuh uh, that’s just a lie grownups say. Grownups lie all the time, so it’s okay.” He chuckled.
“You’ll catch diabetes at the very least, then.” Sasuke scoffed.
“No one asked you,”
Kakashi sighed. How they could fight over a cup of tea, he did not know.
“No dinner, Kaka-sensei?” He really wished Genma would stop that.
“I am a bit… peckish,” Kurenai added.
“Don’t tease the guy, now,” Asuma might’ve been his saving grace. “He’s already going to be in a heap of trouble when the council finds out.” Or perhaps not.
Kakashi groaned.
“You three, shower, then dinner,” the genin raced to the bath at his word, not without argument, of course.
“Out of the way! I’m going first!”
“No way, idiot!”
“Actually, I’m going to go first!”
“No fair! Why do you get to go first?”
“Because I’m a lady, that’s why,”
“Lively bunch,” he pointedly ignored Genma.
“They’re so cute,” Kurenai cooed. “They adore you so much, how did you do it?”
He shrugged as he placed the pot on the stove. He was quite adamant on not cooking for more than four, but his kids took a liking to his friends. Or was it the other way around? Either way, that placed him in a position of cooking for more than four. So it was a must that tonight would be a feast.
He just wished that it didn’t have to be so domestic.