Chapter Text
- Jackie
- Ilya
- Ilya
- JACKIEEEE
- Jackie
- Soooo like wtf was that tonight right??
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Ilya
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ok so i am not crazy
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this is good
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Ilya
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shane thinks it was just "normal hayden vibes"
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Jackie
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🙄 okay yes likely opinion for Shane to have
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Ilya
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i was worried to tell you this
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but it seems that you already know
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your husband is a bisexual
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Jackie
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TELL THAT TO MY HUSBAND!!!
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Ilya
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okay 🥰this is a good plan
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Jackie
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Like. I love him, he loves me, etc. etc. I think he needs to like…. Have this awakening in a biiiig way?? Which could be the chardonnay talking (and thank YOUU for THAT)
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Ilya
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wait, pikes poly era???
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Jackie
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That's what I'm SAYING
- Ilya
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pike, we need to talk
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15th best Metro
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???
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who is this???
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Ilya
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your worst nightmare💖
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#81
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boston lily
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rozy
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5th hottest man in nhl
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hart memorial trophy winner
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cup winner
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15th best Metro
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fuck you, I literally have 3 cups
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why did Hollsy give you my number?
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Ilya
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speaking of Shane😀
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15th best Metro
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is he okay???
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should I come over?
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it's only 2 hours
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15th best Metro
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i'm gonna call him
- мой помидор
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Ilya, why am I getting panicked voicemails from Hayden right now?
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Ilya
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idk!!
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pike loooooooves to overreact
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мой помидор
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I am literally at a children's hospital as we speak. Working.
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Did you tell Hayden that I'm at the hospital? Because it's for charity. You have to include the charity part when you tell people I'm at the hospital.
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Ilya
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i told hayden pike nothing
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мой помидор
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Can you please take the salmon out of the freezer?
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Ilya
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👨❤️💋👨yesssssssssss 🐟👍🫡 anything for you my little fishcake
- мой помидор
- I prefer being your tomato.
- Ilya
- drama queen
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he is working
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charity for the children 🏥
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you couldn’t have told me that before i called him four times?
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Ilya
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i was taking a shit!!!
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taking the piss more like.
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what's so important that we need to talk about then?
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Ilya
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the crush that you have on my husband!
- 15th best Metro
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Rozanov. Answer the fucking phone.
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Ilya
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sorry, shane got home 💦🥵🍆
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Lose my number, asshole
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Ilya
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he thinks i am wrong and you do not have a crush on him but i was at dinner last night
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and i am veryyyy perceptive
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nothing gets past me 👁️👁️
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15th best Metro
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???
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Ilya
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you were checking him out!!!!!!!!!!!
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I'm not gay???
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Ilya
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who says anything about gay 💗💙💜
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I'm married
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Ilya
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relax, is not a crime
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Ilya
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and i am 5th hottest man in nhl. i am not threatened by you
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15th best Metro
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rude
- Ilya
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he says “i was not checking out your husband” and “i am married” and “i am not gay” and “suck my dick rozanov”
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Jackie
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Surely that undermines his previous point about not being gay.
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He was checking Shane out, though. 100%
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I have lived with this man for six years. I KNOW WHAT I SAW!!
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Ilya
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it's ok, i am persistent
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i'm a pusher
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i push people
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Jackie
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Just not during the game next week please! our anniversary is coming up and i need him in peak physical condition
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Ilya
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lol nice
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but no promises 🏒😈
- Ilya
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Piiikeeeee
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come to drag show with me tonight
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No
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Ilya
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Shane is SICK 🙇🏼♀️😭😷 and I will be lonely
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do you not have other friends?
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Ilya
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yes, of course, i have many friends
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some of them are coming
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Soo what happened to being lonely?
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Ilya
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i am very needy
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I'm busy
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Ilya
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no you're literally not????
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you don't go home until 2pm tomorrow, i looked it up
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we play hockey, we kick your ass, shane goes home to sleep, you come to drag bar with me and troy barrett and rose landry
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i will cancel you on twitter for being homophobic again if you do not come
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metros are on thin ice already
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... where?
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Ilya
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just text me after game
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we will take car together
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Fuuck
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I'm going to regret this aren't I?
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Ilya
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😇😇
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I've never been to a drag show before
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Ilya
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wow. homophobia.
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bring cash!! 🤑
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wow this will be very fun
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shane will be so happy that we are bonding!!!
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15th best Metro
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I don't know if this is what he had in mind.
- Hayden
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SHANE HELP ME
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ILYA DIDBT TELL ME THIS IS A DRAG STRIP SHOW????
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sorry im drunk
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well like 5 tequila shots🤣
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Hollsyyy
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I was almost asleep, you ass.
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Hayden
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oopsieee sorry
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but DID YOU KNOW???? THIS DRAG SHOW WAS GONNA BE A STRIP SHOW???
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why did u let me come here
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Hollsyyy
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Yeah, of course I knew. I was supposed to go but I gotta rest up for the road trip next week. I feel like shit.
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Hayden
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you go to gay strip shows?
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Hollsyyy
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Not usually.
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Rose knows one of the performers.
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Hayden
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ooooooh I wonder whoooo
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maybe the one in the pink sequins........
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ok im going to get another drink
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Hollsyyy
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Have fun! Drink responsibly!
- Hayden
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SHAAANE HELP AGAIN
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Hollsyyy
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Make Ilya help you.
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Hayden
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i would not ask ilya rozanov for help with a gun to my head and it’s offensive that you would even ask
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THATS NOT IMPORTANT
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someone bought my drink
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Hollsyyy
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Yes, that can happen at bars.
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Hayden
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NO SHANE HE IS SO HOT HELP
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Hollsyyy
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Wait. Say more.
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Hayden
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he's sooooooo
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jawline
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and he's in this mesh shirt??? I can see his nipples?? I can't stop looking at them
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he has a PIERCINGdo you think it hurt?
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Hollsyyy
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Probably.
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If he bought your drink, he probably likes you. Are you talking to him? Don't lead him on!
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Hayden
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i was talking to him
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he called me baby????
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i ran away im outside now
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Hollsyyy
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I'm going to sleep. Good luck!
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Hayden
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shaaaaaaaaaaaaane this guy offered me a cigarette
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he's evEN HOTTERTHAN THE LAST GUY
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likeee. jock energy?
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i bet he plays like. rugby
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Hayden
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update: he does play rugby
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do you think Jackie would mind if i
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wait that's stupid obviously she would
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ok somehow i have his number now
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he saw my wedding ring and he was like
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"is your husband cute"
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back inside now. your stupid husband is making stupid weird faces at me
- Hayden
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babe. i am learning a LOT of new information about myself
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Wifey💗
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Aww yay!!
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Hayden
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I think I have some news
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Wifey💗
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😄 I know!
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Hayden
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... what
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Wifey💗
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See you tomorrow, babe! 😘😘 Love you!!
- Hayden
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made it home in one peice
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NO THANKS TO ROZANOV
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night night
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sleep tight
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dont let the bedbugs bite
- мой помидор
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I think you broke Hayden.
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Ilya
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😈😈😈
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my gaydar is never wrong
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мой помидор
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That's manifestly not true.
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Ilya
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name one time it was wrong
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мой помидор
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Scott Hunter.
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Ilya
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the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected
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мой помидор
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You're adorable.
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Ilya
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да
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я тебя люблю
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i will be home late!! sleep well мой помидор 🍅 feel better!!
- Hollsyyy
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Sounds like you had a good night. How are you feeling this morning?
- Hayden
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Shut up.
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Hayden
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OH MY GOD
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I can't believe I sent you all that
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fucking christ
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any chance we can pretend that never happened?
- Hollsyyy
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What? Why?
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You can think men are hot, Hayden. It's not illegal.
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I didn't get outed and move to Ottawa so you can have gay panic in our texts.
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Hayden
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it's not gay panic!
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you sound like Rozanov
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Hollsyyy
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I've heard that before.
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Are you coming out to me, Hayden?
- Hayden
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Come over for dinner when you're in Montreal next month?
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Hollsyyy
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Already in my calendar!
- Wifey💗
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Ruby got 10/10 on her math test!
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Hayden
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Since when do they give math tests in grade one?
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Wifey💗
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I promised her ice cream for dessert tonight.
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Hayden
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Cool, I can pick some up after practice
- Wifey💗
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ETA?
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Hayden
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Sorry, about to leave
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Running late
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Wifey💗
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What's up?
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Hayden
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caught up in locker room
- Wifey💗
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Hay, talk to me
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Girls are having their screen time
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Amber is down
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Arthur is creating Lego structures that defy the laws of physics
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I'm all ears
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Hayden
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The guys were just being dicks about Shane
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Wifey💗
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Fuckers
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Hayden
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Getting mad that a couple of gay people keep beating us I guess
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Except they didn't say gay people
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Wifey💗
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I'm killing them with my mind
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Hayden
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I'm just upset
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He's just like perfect, he doesn't deserve this bullshit
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Wifey💗
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You might be the only person who would describe him as perfect
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Hayden
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Rozanov does
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Wifey💗
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Or boring
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Hayden
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that pisses me off, Shane's not boring
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Wifey💗
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I’m gonna need you to listen to yourself, babe
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Hayden
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???
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Wifey💗
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Just like reread all these texts please
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You have such a crush on him
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Hayden
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We were voted top NHL bromance in 2019 by Teen Vogue
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Wifey💗
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If you say bromance again I'm sleeping on the couch
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Hayden
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Shane's my best friend
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Wifey💗
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Who you want to kiss!
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Which is fine!
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I mean, I don’t think he’s into you like that
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I’ve never met a more monogamous couple
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But wanting to kiss him is fine!
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Hayden
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Just because I've thought about it doesn't mean that I want to
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Wifey💗
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You've thought about it?
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Hayden
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Okay leaving for real now. What kind of ice cream?
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Wifey💗
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Cookie dough
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This conversation is NOT over btw
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Love you!!
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Hayden
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🙄 Love you ❣️
Jackie
Today, 10:21 PM
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Today, 11:08 AM
мой помидор
Today, 11:39 AM
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Today, 12:22 PM
Today, 1:08 PM
Jackie
Today, 1:36 PM
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Today, 10:18 AM
Hollsyyy
Today, 11:37 PM
Today, 11:55PM
Wifey💗
Today, 12:40 AM
Hollsyyy
Today, 1:52 AM
мой помидор
Today, 12:01 AM
Hollsyyy
Today, 9:15 AM
Today, 11:06 AM
Today, 11:42 AM
Today, 12:03 PM
Wifey💗
Today, 3:21 PM
Today, 4:07 PM
Today, 4:32 PM