Chapter Text
Goodness… what did this guy even do… eh?
Subaru looks away from the file in her hand and down at her phone, of which had started to vibrate. She looked at the name.
Oh, it's been a while since he's called. She's missed his sweet voice.
…not really sweet voice, but to her, it was melodic. She loved it. She loved him.
Ah, and who was it again?
Natsusawa Saku, of course.
Without missing another beat, she picked up the phone and answered the call.
Subaru: Hello, Saku?
Saku: Hello, Subaru. You wouldn't happen to be busy at the moment, would you?
Subaru shut her file closed and lifted her legs up on her desk. A little relaxation wouldn't hurt, no?
Subaru: Up! Ah… no, no I'm not. What's going on?
Saku: Oh, I just wanted to wish you… happy 28th birthday.
Subaru: O-Oh. I… thank you. It means a lot.
…
Saku: So, how's everything been? Mika and Mika still causing trouble?
Subaru: Haha, yeah, kinda. They occasionally drop by my office with snacks or something.
Saku: That sounds a little annoying. Heck, with these two, it surely is.
Subaru: Pfft, it isn't that bad. I get company, they get to talk to someone other than each other.
Subaru: Also. Please call one of them their family name.
Subaru: I can't differentiate Yamamoto and Ide when you say 'Mika'…
Saku: I see…
Subaru: Why do you sound surprised that I can't differentiate two people with the same name…?
Saku: Heh, alright alright. Fine, so what's been going on at home, anyway?
Subaru recalled the last few months. It's been a while since Saku called. About 2 months, actually. Ever since September.
Subaru doesn't really know how Ireland's school system works, but it was probably just about exam week there. So perhaps he was just busy.
And it's been a little busy over on Subaru's side as well. All with being
Subaru: Mmm… well, Shohei and Ayato are getting married after the law passes, like you know.
Saku: Oh, right, I have to plan a return for that.
Subaru: Mmhmm, Shohei would be mad if you didn't come.
Saku: I know, he'd complain that 'Saku-chan' doesn't care about him anymore.
Subaru: Heh. Right, then there's Kaoruko and Rintaro's kid, which you also know.
Saku: Oh, right, Kaorin. They aren't seriously considering that name, right?
Subaru: Bwoah, I hope not. Too cliche. Though we ought to respect their choices.
Saku: Yeah, fine… what about the other Kikyo girls?
Subaru: Ayu's doing well, running for MP of Hakone.
Saku: Of all places…
Subaru: Suzu's leading a project in Aomori.
Saku: Goodness, really? Awesome.
Subaru: Chis got accepted into some major orchestra.
Saku: Send my regards.
Subaru: And Madoka… don't tell her I told you this, but she's thinking of proposing.
Saku: Ooh, really? Good for her.
Subaru: It's a big leap, but it's been a long time coming.
Saku: Yeah… Reo's been bragging about Madoka.
Subaru: Oh?
Saku: Oh, it's just occasionally he'd call me and vent.
Subaru: I… see.
…
Saku: Hey, Subaru, can I ask you something?
Subaru: What?
Saku: Do you ever feel… like you don't know who you are anymore?
Subaru blinks. What an… odd question. What did he mean?
Subaru: Wha-?
Saku: Ah. Nevermind, it's nothing. Look, it's been nice talking but I gotta go so… bye.
~~Call Terminated by Natsusawa Saku. Did you enjoy your experience?~~
Subaru didn't bother with it. She shut her phone off. She replayed the question in her head, and tried to recreate the tone he said it in.
Do you ever feel… like you don't know who you are anymore?
That tone… it felt so wrong on Saku.
…what was going through his mind?
Subaru pondered.
"Maybe… I should pay a visit."
Subaru was still seriously considering that idea when she arrived at Chisa's house for a little girls' night. Though not everyone was there — Kaoruko was resting and Ayu was busy campaigning — but the others were, and she wanted to tell them about today.
"Say, have any of you heard from Saku lately? He called me earlier and… I think he's… confused?" she asked, as Madoka bit into a biscuit. As she said that, Madoka's jaw shut and the biscuit crumbled and landed in her cup of water.
After Suzuka calmed down from her hysterics, Madoka expressed her surprise.
"C-Confused about what?" she asked. Subaru shrugged. "What did he say, if I may ask?"
"He said… or well, he asked me 'Do you ever feel like you don't know who you are anymore'. I've been just… he's caught me off guard. I couldn't do work anymore. What do you think he means?" she said. As she quoted him, Chisa choked on her rice ball and Suzuka had to help her out.
"Chisa? What's wrong?"
"I-Is there more…?"
"Mmm… a little."
"Please. Finish."
"I… alright." Subaru said, bringing her legs up to her chest. "So… yeah, he called and asked about the gang, then asked that. After which he waved it off and hung up. And for the whole day, I've been thinking about the idea of flying to Ireland just to check up on the guy." she finished, looking to the ground.
The other three listened, and now that she was finished they didn't know what to think. There was a lot here.
"Alright… lets dissect this. So… Saku-chan called you to catch up with what's happening here, right?" Suzuka began. Subaru nodded. "Then he asked… that and now you're worried about him?"
Subaru blinked. Huh. Maychance she was actually worried for him.
"…yes. Yes I… feel worried for the guy and… I want to pay him a visit." she said. Madoka gave Chisa a funny look. "What's that look, Madoka?"
"Oh, nothing."
"Anyway," Chisa interrupted, causing Madoka to giggle. "Subaru, has Saku talked to you in the past few… months? When was the last time the guy said anything?"
"The last time he said anything… 2 months. He's been quiet for quite some time." Subaru answers. Chisa nods, setting her cup down.
"I see… does he have friends over there? Do you know them?"
"Yes, he does. But I don't know them."
"Hmm… do you really want to go?"
"…yes."
"Then," Chisa says. "I reckon you should go. Just you." she said. Subaru pondered.
"Besides, it's been a while since he's seen any of us. Go surprise him! Maybe hide it from the guys and snap a photo with him in the background while you're there, you know?" Suzuka added, chortling. "Bring along some gifts for him." she added, with a knowing smirk. Subaru's cheeks flared.
"Well… I'm not too busy; I could probably pass this guy's case on to a friend or something. So… yeah. Yeah I'll go. Tomorrow." she said.
"Tomorrow!?"
"Y-Yeah… I'll pack up tomorrow, head over there in a day or two. Depends."
"A-Ah."
"Oh, and regarding packing… why don't you let us help a little?" Chisa suggested. Madoka nodded. Subaru blinked.
"And… why?"
"Oh, no reason. You have to bring everything we thought of though." she said.
Subaru shrugged. Wasn't like she brought much anyway.
"Fine, sure. My house tomorrow then?"
"It's a date!"
A few hours earlier…
Saku shuts his phone off and flops onto bed. Shit.
Why did he have to go and say that? What an idiotic move… such an unnecessary way to make her panic too.
He didn't have to burden her with his… questionings. He had his friends here, they were enough, surely.
But they aren't Subaru.
Saku sighed. For once, the little voice in his head was right.
Yay!
Still, he couldn't just lore dump on poor Subaru. That just sounds horrid. She must have felt so… uncomfortable. So weirded out.
… yet it felt nice to talk about it. It's like a whole weight was lifted off his shoulders.
Well, alright, so there was definitely a chance Subaru thought he was weird.
…might as well double down, right? He thought as he opened the drawer of clothes that Nada always left behind on visits.