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On Wednesday, 26 April, just as Bilbo Baggins was about to sit down for his evening tea, there came a tremendous ring on the front-door bell. Wondering who among his neighbours could be out and about at such a time, Mr Baggins came to the door to open it.
On his porch stood a bunch of Big Folk (seven to be precise). And one of them was Very Big indeed (and looking so wild that for a second Bilbo almost confused him for a bear)!
The strange clothes of these visitors reminded Mr Baggins of the Rangers that sometimes wandered at the borders of the Shire (he had heard stories of them from his Brandybuck relatives and was almost sure he saw one himself in the distance during one of his walks).
Stranger still, all of these folks (even the two ladies) were armed with swords and bows and other dangerous things of that kind.
Our hobbit was so overwhelmed (and disturbed) by the sight before him that for a second he felt he might faint. But his unexpected visitors seemed to be shocked as well. They watched the hobbit for a minute or two, eyes wide and mouths open in silent surprise, until one of them (a fellow with a neck chief and a rather silly hat) suddenly breathed out, “WHAT are you?”
“Yeah, 'm not being funny, but what's wrong with your feet?” ventured another one.
Even the fur on the hobbit's (usually perfectly brushed) feet bristled with anger. Fear quite forgotten for a moment, Mr Baggins pointed his finger into the faces of his offenders (he had to raise on his tiptoes a bit in order to do that).
“I am, of course, Bilbo Baggins, the owner of this house and a respectable member of society (unlike some). And there is very obviously nothing wrong with my feet. If interrupting a hobbit's evening with rude and silly questions is your idea of a joke, I may assure you that this type of humour will not be appreciated here. So I suggest you move on. Good evening!”
And he would have slammed his round door in their faces, but at that moment another Man (with a very long bow) stepped forward.
“Mr Baggins! We mean no offense. If we were rude, it is only because our meeting was so unexpected and because we lack experience in talking to ... holbits?. On behalf of our company, I, Robin of Locksley, offer you our most sincere apologies and am fully at your service!” and he bowed quite politely (for a Big Man).
“Dear Mr Baggins, please forgive us!” said a handsome lady with long wavy hair (somehow she made Bilbo think of Elves). “We only wanted to ask for directions. We are so very tired and very lost. Just show us the nearest road to Nottingham, and we will leave you in peace!”
They both seemed so honest that Bilbo's anger somewhat abated.
“I will not pretend that I have ever heard of this Nottingham of yours; it must be beyond Buckland somewhere. But I do have some good maps which might be of use to you.”
He hesitated a little.
“I am just about to take tea, pray come and have some with me,” he said, a little stiffly perhaps, but he meant it kindly. And what would you do if a bunch of uninvited and strangely looking Men showed up at your door?
Of course, having Big Folk inside a smial proved tricky. They were too tall, too big, and no chair could survive Mr John, who was finally set on the floor on a bunch of cushions (Little John, his friends called him, and Bilbo could appreciate the joke). But despite initial unease, they turned out to be very pleasant guests.
It had become very clear to Bilbo very soon that none of them had ever seen (or even heard of) a hobbit. He wondered at that a little, but was not overly surprised since even in those times hobbits mostly preferred to keep to themselves and avoided the Big Folk.
So, as his guests openly marveled at everything in his home and asked a million questions about the hobbits, their ways and traditions, and especially since both Mr Much and Mr Alan apologised so many times, Bilbo found that he could forgive their earlier rudeness. Pretty soon (after a glass or two of wine) his guests pronounced Hobbits to be the best people in the whole world! Bilbo was very proud and secretly relieved that the first encounter of Mr Locksley (“Just call me Robin!”) and his friends was with him. What would they think of hobbits had they met Lobelia Sackville-Baggins!
In turn, they told him some stories of their own and those left Bilbo quite shocked. He knew that the Big Folk often were not the most kind or wise, but to imagine such suffering, injustice and cruelty that the people of Nottingham faced was simply impossible for our kind hobbit. That Gisborne guy seemed particularly nasty. And the way Bilbo's new friends described their local shirriff sounded the very opposite of the friendly and useful civil servants of the Shire. And despite the dangers to themselves, Robin and his friends kept fighting against injustice and helping those in need! Bilbo admired their bravery and wanted to help with all his hobbit heart.
And there lay the problem. From what Robin told him, their home (a forest hideout) had been attacked by the shirriff's men in the middle of the night. Robin and the company barely managed to escape and had to run through the forest for their lives. For how long they ran and how exactly they found themselves in front of Bilbo's round door, none of them could explain.
One by one, Bilbo brought out all his maps and even read passages from his mother's diary, in which she described some foreign places she had visited. But even Robin and Djaq (who seemed to be the most well-travelled among the company) could recognise neither names nor shapes on the maps. The situation seemed quite desperate.
That's when the door bell rang the second time. Bilbo rushed to the door only to stop as the images of evil henchmen with nasty swords flooded his mind. His guests seemed to understand his concern.
“Do not worry, Mr Baggins, we will not let anything bad happen to you,” said Lady Marian. Silently, they placed themselves behind him in the hall, prepared to fight any attacker.Feeling a little bit braver, the hobbit opened the door.
On his porch stood two young dwarves, both with blue hoods and silver belts; each of them carried a bag of tools and a spade.
“Kili at your service!” said the one. “And Fili!” added the other, and they both swept off their hoods and bowed.
“At yours and your family’s!” replied Bilbo, surprised but relieved and happy to see someone of a respectable size. “What can I do for you, my dwarves?” he said, but they already hopped inside beside him.
“I see ours have begun to arrive already,” said Fili, looking at the collection of hoods hanging by the door.
“Look, Big People!” said Kili.
“What are they doing here? Gandalf never said anything about any Big People. Uncle will not be happy.”
“He won't mind them joining our quest. Anyway, he can argue with Gandalf about that.”
And they kept going in that manner. Bilbo was not able to follow their conversation, but one name struck him.
“Gandalf!” You see, earlier, he had quite forgotten about Gandalf, their meeting, and his invitation for tea.
“My dear fellows,” he addressed the dwarves. “Am I right in understanding that Gandalf the Wandering Wizard has arranged to meet you and your kin here today?”
“This is secret information,” said Fili.
While Kili said, “Yes.” And then “What? It's Mr. Baggins' home, it can't be a secret from him.”
Under any other circumstances, Bilbo would be exasperated by the Wizard's presumptuousness. But now any frustration he might have felt was quashed by hope and relief.
“Good news, my friends,” he addressed the confused Big Folk. “For if any person can solve your mystery and help you find the way home, it is Gandalf. For he is very wize and will definitely know what to do!”
He then turned back to the dwarves, “Please tell, how many of yours should we expect today?”
“This is secret information,” said Fili.
While Kili said, “We are thirteen. Plus the wizard!”
So, fourteen more (probably hungry) guests. This would be no easy fit for any host. Did he even have enough food or enough time to prepare more? Robin's voice brought the hobbit back.
“Mr Baggins, we are all at your service. Tell us what to do, and we will help!” The others nodded in agreement.
“Let us get started then,” said Bilbo, rolling up his sleeves...
When all the tasks were properly delegated, instructions provided, and his big smial bustled with activity, Bilbo quietly snicked out. He needed a smoke to calm his nerves a little. Sitting on the bench by the front door, he lit his long wooden pipe, inhaled, and let out a perfect smoke ring.
“Well, Bilbo Baggins,” he thought to himself, “look at you. Playing host to a bunch of Big People, Dwarves, and a Wizard. This evening could not become any stranger!”
(He was, of course, completely wrong about that as he was very soon to find out.)