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Fang has an itch.
A really bad one.
It's 1am, he's in his spaceship, he's supposed to be asleep hours ago. Instead, he's holding onto his phone, gripping it tightly like his life depends on it.
He stared at the contact, at the familiar picture of a dino orange capped boy, with his stupid smile staring right back at him. He was holding cattus on his arms, cradling that cat like his baby. He looked deep into those brown eyes, like it would blink right at him.
Those eyes once looked at him full of love and adoration, the kind where they look like they tuned everything out just to hear and see you speak, the kind where nothing else mattered but the person they're staring at. He missed how those eyes would look at him like that again.
He almost envied cattus on the boy's arms. He remembered how it felt like to be embraced into those, remembered the feeling of hot skin pressed against his, how everything would become alright if he was hugged by him again. He remembered how those hands that defeat evil and protect the weak would hold his own.
He scrolled up through past chats, reading every single message the boy sent until he came across a voice message. Without a thought, he pressed play.
“Hey Fang! I was wondering— since admiral gave us a week off missions— that you wanted to go somewhere? just the two of us. We can have a picnic, or stroll around the beach, or—”
“Boboiboy! Can you come here? I need some assistance!”
“Eek! I gotta help Tok aba first but let me know if you want to! Okay, gotta go, love you, bye!”
and the voice recording stopped there.
Fang remembered that day. They had a picnic by the beach when it was almost evening, he remembered Boboiboy’s laugh as he splashed him with water, remembered how he started to panic when Fang tackled him onto the water, the strawberries Boboiboy picked out were sweet, they even bought themselves matching keychains from one of the stalls. They ran across the seashore, leaving foot prints on the sand, ignoring how the water would wash it away. They could always run around and leave more then.
He remembered how he felt content in that moment. How he felt peaceful with the boy on his side and the sound of waves crashing onto the sand.
Fang recalled the conversation they had when they were sitting on the blanket Fang brought just so the sand wouldn't get to them when they sat down and ate (the sand still got on the blanket though which irritated Fang), the sunset at its peak, illuminating orange and pink skies, reminding him of cotton candy. Maybe he should've treasured that moment longer than he could've.
“I feel so content here,” The elemental user spoke out, his eyes reflecting the pink-orange skies, the rays of the sunset hitting his face just right enough for him to look so majestic even when he's doing nothing but stare back at the scenery.
“Yknow Fang, I'm really happy that I met Ochobot. If I didn't, then I wouldn't have met you.” Boboiboy didn't meet his eyes, instead, he continued.
“Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that I saved Ochobot from Adu du, he's like a brother to me. And I'm happy with Yaya and Ying and Gopal but whenever I'm with you, it just feels different.”
“How different?” Fang asked, Boboiboy finally turned his head to look at the boy sitting beside him. Red crimson reflecting dark browns.
“Like.. this intimate feeling when I'm with you, I feel light headed. We have this deep bond because our relationship is different from how we bond with our friends. I still feel like I'm a child experiencing a crush but I want to feel it with you. How long have we been dating? five months right?” Fang nodded to that and Boboiboy let out a giggle before laying back flat down onto the blanket, his lover following his lead.
“When we grow up, let's get married at 24—”
“24? Isn't marriage a bit too early for that? maybe you're still saving the galaxy when you're 24.” Fang laughed as he turned to look at him.
“Mm well yeah, but I want to experience saving the world with my future husband! We'll even adopt cattus and officially make him our catson!”
Fang laughed again at the idea but encouraged him to continue on with his ideas.
“I guess I'll start practicing my speech and getting down on one knee.”
“Not if I beat you to it first.”
“Really, boi? even at our marriage proposal?”
“You started the whole rivalry when we were kids.”
“I just wanted to become more popular!”
They stayed there until 7pm. Talking about how their future would become once they get married.
Just where did it all go wrong?
Was it when they started becoming distant?
Was it when they barely talked for days now? How? They were in the same friend group.
Was it when Fang started having conflicts of himself and tried to push Boboiboy away when all he did was try and help him?
Fang didn't know. He got a text from Boboiboy at 12am, asking, “Do you think we're starting to grow distant?”
They had a long talk that night.
Boboiboy tried to talk it out with him, saying that he'll give Fang more space if he needed, and even proposed taking a break from the relationship because of how the missions were treating them. But Fang didn't know what to do.
He didn't want a break, he didn't need space, he just needed Boboiboy. Fang really did try to fight for them that night but both of them were stubborn heads. Fang knew that he was starting to neglect Boboiboy as a lover, not only him but his friends as well. It felt like everything was starting to become exhausting, it's even worse when he started to doubt himself.
Boboiboy always tried to comfort him, to be there for him, to understand him. But he felt like he was holding him back. Boboiboy was a good hero, a great protector. While he's just there in his team, everyone hears the stories of Boboiboy saving the weak and defeating the bad guys. It was always Boboiboy, and Fang is his top supporter.
Yet, he always thought that his own boyfriend had more great things to come for him than to be stuck with someone like him.
That same night, it ended just the way Fang expected.
“Fang, let's end this.”
They didn't argue, didn't call each other names or started assuming they were cheating on each other. No, they ended on good terms, they agreed on it, even said thank you’s like they were saying their final goodbyes. So why was Fang feeling like this? Why does he want to go back and fix it all over again even when his self conflicts are part of the reason why it ended like this?
It's been a month since that night. They were still friends, yet the team felt the whole tension for the first few days. But after a while, it died down and they were back to being the usual silly friend group they were. Even Fang (tried to) acted normal and friendly with Boboiboy, but there was still a lingering glint in his eyes whenever they automatically landed on the elemental user.
Boboiboy told him not to blame himself, but how can he? If he resolved his own conflicts then this wouldn't happen. He wouldn't have grown so distant with the boy he still loved.
They dated for 9 months. Their one year anniversary was just three months away. He missed what they have, what they felt for each other, how different the touches felt when it was just them two, how everything felt intimate when it's just them and nobody else.
Fang could only stare at their chats.
It didn't feel the same after going back as friends.
He should stop himself. He thought as he pressed the message bar, the keyboard appeared.
He shouldn't let his thoughts win. He thought as he started to type words to fill in the empty message bar.
He shouldn't do this, it ended for a reason. He thought as he reread the same sentence over and over again that his head started hurting.
Fang really had a bad itch.
What's the worst that could happen? He thought.
Then, he pressed sent.
“Is it too late to ask if we can try again?”