Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Prologue

I expected my end to approach slowly. I thought that, when my time came, an illness would announce itself and leave me time to sort out my regrets, maybe bid farewell to my loved ones and, after all was said and done, I'd leave in my sleep. Accidents happened, of course, but what were the chances I would fall victim to one? For that and other reasons, I was not prepared for the suddenness of my death.

I had recently received my medical degree and was on my way to start residency training. The future looked brighter than it ever had before. I wasn't suffocated with tests nor was I spending sleepless nights cramming every piece of information I could into my brain. I could finally slow down, stop and breathe in- So that's exactly what I did.

In the middle of a crosswalk.

Looking back, I realize how stupid that was. In my defense, though, the driver was beyond speed limit. Also, the lights were red. Completely his fault, if you ask me.

Death by truck. Glorious, isn't it?

I barely felt any pain over the shock of inertia, adrenaline rushing through my veins, and as the thought of death finally registered, regret washed over me.

I should have taken Bijou on a walk more often. When was the last time I sat down and talked to dad? I could have visited mother last weekend, why didn't I? I should have made up with my sister- why did we get in a fight in the first place?

I should have looked both ways before crossing-

The world faded to black with a last, miserable, I don't want to die.

And suddenly, as if I hadn't just left the land of the living, countless senses invaded my being. The cold being the most evident one, closely followed by why is my vison so blurry and there is so much noise. The discomfort was so big that as soon as I found the remotest sense of warmth and safety, I realized the noise had stopped, because I had stopped crying.

I had been the one crying.

I guess the situation was too overwhelming for me to handle, because, at that final revelation, I fell asleep.

Chapter Text

When I next woke up, it was to the feeling of being rocked back and forth. It was oddly calming, and also the only thing that kept me from immediately panicking.

Suddenly becoming hyperaware of my surroundings, I tried to make sense of the situation. I realized I was wrapped in some sort of fabric, which made me feel a bit constricted, so I tried to wiggle my way out of the cocoon for good. The comforting rocking stopped at that moment, and a squeal assaulted my ears.

"Darling, you're awake!" Came a whisper from somewhere above me, the language beyond my grasp. Fear had started to creep into my mind when a giant blur rapidly approached my face. I shut my eyes in fright, expecting impact, and when nothing happened, I looked up again. And promptly spent what felt like an hour staring at the giant speed-o'-sound blur stationed above me. The giant, face-shaped, blur. Which was cooing. Loudly.

It was then that I finally connected the dots. And promptly started crying, yelling and overall acting like an upset baby. Which, apparently, I was.

The Face, who I now know as mother, seemed a bit lost, but soon changed my position so she could hold me tighter and started humming a tune. When that did nothing to my current state of hysteria, she seemed to realize something, making a small "Oh!" of recognition.

She, once again, rearranged our positions. Turning my body so it would face her slightly, she moved the strap of her dress away. I was now face-to-breast with her, and, as much as I was mentally 24 years old, my body was that of a baby. Which, I then realized, was hungry. So, with the slightest nudging from her, I let go of my frustrations momentarily to satiate my hunger.

Thankfully, while being breastfed, my thoughts did not linger on the activity itself. And with my previous disgruntlement fading from the soothing activity, I let myself analyse the situation.

I had died.

I had been reborn.

I was being breastfed. And I did not mind it.

Fuck.

A couple of hours after I stopped crying, father arrived in the hospital room mother and I were currently situated in. He made a beeline for the chair she was sitting on and rested his hand on her cheek, kissing her softly. They shared a brief conversation I couldn't understand – in what I guessed was Japanese – and soon after, mother was giggling. I was then, against my will, handed to father. He awkwardly held me for a moment, before slowly pacing the room.

He was insecure about holding me. I could feel it, and that, in turn, made me feel unsafe, as if I were on a rollercoaster ride without a safety harness. I decided then that I liked mother's hold much better. He did seem to be enjoying it, letting out a breathy laugh after the first minute or so of holding me, so I mercifully kept quiet about my discomfort.

He soon handed me back to mother, and some time later, after my first nappy change, we were on our way to their home.

I think it's been a month since I started living here. In this time, I have found out some crucial information: not only my name, but also my parents'!

I'm Rei, mother is Midori and father is Yuu.

My eyesight has also improved, and I could see things clearly up to a meter away! From my observations, Midori has light brown eyes and a heart shaped face, which is framed by the blackest hair I've ever seen. One could say she has a very traditional beauty. Yuu, on the other hand, has a mess of curly dark brown strands, always pulled back in a halfhearted ponytail. His bright green eyes are often framed by rectangle black glasses – I'm pretty sure there is some foreign blood in him. He also has a scruff.

Those two were opposites of each other, honestly. I wonder what brought them together.

Midori is a stay-at-home mom. From what I've observed, aside from taking care of me, she spends most of her time tending to the house, and she is good at it. Since she recuperated enough to walk, I haven't spotted a single dust bunny in the premises. I wish I had her sense of cleanliness – The woman is a machine! – And I'm sure she works out too, because whenever she holds me, I can feel her muscles shifting, and they are toned.

How she manages to do so many things in the span of a day shall forever remain a mystery.

Yuu's job is still unknown. He often locks himself up in his study to work and stays there until it's either time to eat or play dress-Rei-up-and-gush. Since he is usually covered in ink at those times, I believe he might be some sort of writer. Also, the only things that get him to leave home are grocery shopping and work – when he has to go to a convention thingamabob or other.

All of that makes for very present parents, which is kind of refreshing. In my previous life, mom and dad were always occupied – working. I spent most of my childhood with only my sister and our caretaker as a result.

It's nice, I think, to have Midori near when I'm feeling particularly morose, or having Yuu read me bedtime stories, even if I don't understand half of what he is saying. It feels like I'm less alone. The fact I'm growing attached to them, though, makes me feel guilty, as if I were trying to replace my family.

Maybe I am.

That thought scares me, so I don't dwell on it.

Another thing I must mention is that my understanding of Japanese has improved. I'm not nearly close to fluency, but I can now make out a good number of words and sentences. Being a baby immersed in the language probably played a big part in the rate I was absorbing it, kids are information sponges, after all, but I personally believe my 11 or so years of anime and manga knowledge definitely contributed to lessening the language barrier. I'm sure of it.

After my third year in university I had to let go of my anime vices to study full time, but while I might have left the otaku life, it has yet to leave me. When I learn how to read, I'm definitely buying manga. Can't pass up such an opportunity, it's not everyday you are reborn in the promised land of the otaku, and I'm milking this for all it's worth.

Most of the time since my arrival has been spent sleeping, eating and being cleaned. There isn't much I can do with my undeveloped baby muscles and non-existent hand-eye coordination. It's mind numbing, really. Aside from mother and father, my only distractions are my thoughts, and those usually lead to long periods of reminiscing and brooding.

I think mother worries about the lack of baby like behavior, seeing as she often tries to elicit reactions from me. Her preferred approach is what I dubbed The Peekaboo Sessions. They always crack me up. In one instance, she tried tickling. That got a reaction just fine, but I guess having me trashing and screaming bloody murder was not what she was going for. Midori never attempted it again.

On that line of thought, my sister used to tickle me – a lot – when we were younger, to the point I became unable to have people touch me without laughing. It made me the butt of many jokes in my years in medical school. There wasn't a single practical semiology lesson that did not end up with me thrashing about like a fish out of water, out of breath, squealing in a decidedly undignified way. It was tremendously embarrassing, but it was all in good fun. I was the one who kept insisting I could handle it, time and again.

I miss it.

I miss it all.

My independence, my friends, my life, my dog, and most of all, I miss my family.

I wish I could see them again. I would even go to that thrice damned double date sis had been trying to set up for the last year. Actually... never mind, I wouldn't. But I would give her the location of my secret stash of candy, which is obviously the more desirable of the two, right? She couldn't be so upset at my refusal to date that she'd pass up such an opportunity.

On another note, mom would be murderous if she found out I still had The Stash hidden back home. Dad would probably raid it. Maybe he did, can't be too sure... It has been a long time since I last visited.

I often catch myself wondering if they miss me.

I hope they do.

Does that make me a bad person?

I want to go out.

I really, really want to go out.

I've been holed up for too long with too little distraction, and now my brain is a step away from imploding.

I'm not really a baby- nothing in this house is a novelty to me. I already know the floor is down, the ceiling is up and that wood-is-not-food. I need more stimuli.

As someone who has always preferred home over the outside world, it's uncanny to want to leave it so badly. I guess not having internet access does this to people.

I have yet to reach two months and I'm already verging on insanity. How wonderful, right?

Not.

I hate cabin fever.

Midori likely sensed my state of unrest, because soon enough I found myself in her hold, listening to her comforting heartbeat as she hummed along to a soft lullaby. I admit I teared up just a bit.

I still want to go outside, but I guess I can wait a bit longer.

Today mother took me to the park. I think I hadn't squealed so high since Pokémon Go first became available in my country.

I was happy, alright. You try living as a mandrake-wannabe for a month. I dare you- I double dare you.

It's not fun.

Anyway, I got to watch some kids run around like headless chickens from the comfort of my stroller for about 20 minutes. Quality entertainment, I tell ya.

For some reason, I feel like my standards for about everything have just lowered considerably.

Not that I care- I finally went out!

Also, it's not like I'm the one speeding around like a baboon on hallucinogens. Now that would be a sight.

I don't think I'd mind it much, though, I miss being able to run.

Who knew I'd ever miss physical exertion, huh? I didn't.

I didn't expect to be reborn either, though, and here I am.

Still, as far as it goes, I guess I'm pretty lucky. Thinking of Midori and Yuu, I can't help but admit it could have been much worse.

I'm thankful for having them as parents.

Chapter Text

As I approached the sixth month in this body, my gums became sore. As a medical student, I knew it was because of the growth of my first teeth, but that didn't mean I enjoyed it. The itching was intense, and I only found relief from chewing on things. All kinds of things.

Toys, Yuu's hands, the door, a pillow – I even chewed on Midori's slippers once, the horror.

I feel like a dog.

Mother had been busy too, leaving every day in the morning only to come back in the late afternoon. Yuu had been taking care of me instead, which wasn't all that terrible, but I missed her. Also, fresh breast milk is less nasty than the frozen kind. I guess only having it as food has made me a lactating connoisseur. How convenient.

All of this made for a very grumpy Rei.

And to top it all off, we were visiting someone today. Apparently, mother's best friend had recently moved to our city – Namimori – with his family, and now that they'd settled, we were going to their new home for a welcoming party.

I could only hope it'd go well. I wasn't sure I could handle much more stress without having a fit, but I wanted to leave a good impression on them. Hopefully Midori would then realize how amazing I am and stay home more often. She wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to bask in my presence, right?

Only the lack of hand-eye coordination kept me from facepalming at my thoughts. Instead, I tried grasping at a bear plush to chew on.

I utterly failed in my attempts.

The car ride was uneventful, and I managed to fall asleep halfway. When shaken awake, I opened my eyes to see a beautiful lady cooing at me. With lethargy still clouding my mind, my bleary eyes blinked up at her, and she leaned forward to lift me from the carrier. When I was positioned on her chest, I finally became aware of my surroundings, and noticed mother and father were talking to a man, not far from pretty-lady and I.

When we approached them, Midori lightly ruffled my hair, choosing to leave me in the other female's arms, as I seemed comfortable. Looking at the unknown male, I noticed a bundle in his arms, with tiny little arms protruding from it. He readjusted the baby, and I was able to see their face.

And promptly guffawed. As much as a baby could, anyway.

The child had pouty lips and deadpan eyes. It looked so done with it. I'd never seen a kid look so constipated and adorable at the same time. I listened to the adults' conversation for a bit, making out their names.

Kurokawa Eiichirou and Kurokawa Mei, proud parents of one Kurokawa Hana.

That name struck a chord with me.

Kurokawa Hana.

It seemed so familiar. But why?

Kurokawa Hana.

An image started to form in my head, and dread settled in my stomach.

Dark wavy hair, deadpan stare, Namimori middle uniform.

It must be a coincidence. This can't possibly be the Kurokawa Hana, right? She was from an anime, for god's sake!

I once again looked at the baby, and internally cursed. Her features weren't very pronounced, but as a previous die-hard fan of the story, I could see the resemblance.

Kurokawa Hana.

Double fuck, I'm in a fictional universe.

Sadly, life changing realizations don't make the world stop and wait for us to catch up, and I was soon put in a playpen with the source of my concern.

My gums ached once again, but I could not, for the life of me, care. I was born in a world of fiction where Mafia ruled, and chaos was the norm.

And I was sharing a playpen with someone related to the main plot – enough said.

I was so deep in thought, ruminating my new findings – possible dangers that I could face simply from living in Namimori – that it took several nudges from an impatient baby to bring me out of my reverie. Turning to it, I realized Hana was pushing a toy giraffe my way.

I wasn't prepared for when it was suddenly shoved into my face.

I like to think she'd noticed I was upset and tried to cheer me up, instead of the, admittedly more probable, attempt at my life via head trauma. At the time, however, I only thought of how much it hurt to have your head bashed with a plastic toy.

The unexpected burst of pain had me wailing, but while I didn't enjoy the onslaught of violence from the little ball of hate, it did serve to stop the worrisome thoughts from taking over my mind. Oddly enough, I was thankful for it.

It took little effort from mother to calm me down, and soon I was, once again, placed in the jail-like contraption with the miniature savage. Still, I was feeling less overwhelmed then, and Hana seemed uninterested in hitting me with her toys after being berated by her dad, so we just sat there, holding a staring contest – which I won – and Hana soon dozed off.

I spent a few more minutes going over my recent discoveries, coming to the conclusion I should think about it later. Because I'm tired, I rationalized.

Not long after she fell asleep, so did I.

Later on, I woke up to a crowd of adoring adults, soon becoming aware of warmth and the feel of something draped across my waist. I was then hit with the realization baby Hana had approached me at some point in our sleep to cuddle.

From up close, she looked even more adorable.

I guess we looked a sight, in a tangle of pudgy limbs and fluffy onesies.

Too bad it was all ruined as the little runt also woke up, glaring at me as if I were the root of all evil in the world. She only let go of me at her mother's nudging, though, after our stomachs growled in unison.

I managed to get my first taste of fruit pap that day.

I loved it, squealing happily at the taste of solid food, hoping my parents understood I enjoyed it and would introduce the mashed papaya goop into my diet soon.

Around an hour later, we left for home.

As I was prepared for the night, with Yuu choosing today's bedtime story – The Frog Prince – I tried to remember what I could from the original plot of Reborn. I can't do much as a baby, but I should, at the very least, try to prepare for what is to come.

Nevertheless, when the story started, I let myself be comforted by father's presence, his soothing voice lulling me to sleep.

Chapter Text

It’d been a couple of weeks since we visited the Kurokawa family. Since then, things had gotten somewhat hectic at home, and Midori’s schedule varied from the leave-at-9-come-back-at-4 that had become the norm.

I tried to find out what was happening, but I only ever caught snippets of conversations, and, even then, I could only partially make out what they were about – a job, apparently.

I often overheard Eiichirou’s name in those exchanges, so I assumed either he was being offered a job, or he was the one hiring. Although, from how Midori was behaving, the second seemed more probable. Mother appeared agitated – which wasn’t unusual, if I were to be honest – but she also had a glimmer in her eyes that screamed ‘Finally!’, as if she had been awaiting this moment for far too long.

Maybe she hadn’t been a housewife before I was born, as I had imagined, and now that she had an opportunity to jump back into the working force, she was taking it with boundless enthusiasm.

I wondered if she felt as constricted as I did, not being able to do as she wished. If so, I could understand why she had dedicated herself to house chores with such fervour. Midori had probably needed a distraction from the extreme boredom that is inactivity.

I’d expected her to resent me for bestowing motherhood upon her, as she might have lost her previous job because of my birth – this was Japan, after all, the land where women were expected to give up on their entire professional careers as soon as they got pregnant. Still, my apprehension of being perceived as a burden was quenched as I mulled over the matter.

Midori obviously loved me a great deal. That was unquestionable.

Even if I did get in the way of her career, I could see in the way she looked after me that it didn’t matter. I was her baby and, to her, I was worth it.

I was definitely wanted.

I was definitely loved.

And that was enough for me to let go of the subject and move on to nicer, lighter ponderings.

Such as solid food – my newly developed obsession.

Today Yuu has some time to spare, so he’ll take me to the park later in the afternoon. Also, he just called the Kurokawa matron to arrange a playdate with little Hana.

I’m kind of looking forward to it.

Don’t get me wrong, the Giraffe barbarian isn’t the most engaging toddler to have around, but she is the most interesting one I can have, at the moment. And, while I am still uncertain about the possibility, she might be a character from what had been my favorite show. You can’t blame me for my curiosity.

How does children-hating Hana behave while being an infant herself?

The concept alone seems awfully humorous – too much to pass up.

Additionally, knowing that Hana had remained a side character throughout the whole series is comforting, and it makes being her friend particularly appealing in case my suspicions hold true. If she manages to keep herself uninvolved enough to stay unscathed up to the Future Arc – at the very least – I can do the same by staying around her.

Or so I hope.

If it works, I can watch the plot unravel from the sidelines – avoiding all the hazard and still getting a front seat to the show being the best-case scenario.

It’s not much of a plan, but I don’t have many options to choose from, do I?

I will try to learn some survival skills in the meantime, though. While avoidance is best, the plot had always been unpredictable, and I do not expect that to change – it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.

A few hours had passed when the doorbell startled me, bringing me out of my reverie. As expected, Mei was outside – holding Hana close to her chest – intently ignoring the attempts at biting from the toddler.

How cute.

Dad took a couple more minutes to gather some last-minute necessities, and soon we were on our way to the park. Both parents chattered amicably above our strollers, but Hana and I could only patiently await our arrival – it was no use trying to sit up while we were moving, as we’d only fall back down.

Although, Hana would probably pull it off if she tried – being a few months older than myself – but I guess she found it was too much trouble. I couldn’t be sure if what I felt was jealousy or bitterness, but knowing she was more developed than I was, but didn’t make the most of it, sure bothered me.

The fact I could be reduced to an envious brat for such a petty reason brought me back to my senses, but even so–

Upper-body strength, how I miss thee.

Feeling embarrassed over my childish feelings would only lead to further chagrin, so I chose to cloud watch instead – too bad I could only see a single cloud in the sky.

A sigh silently made its way out of my lips, but I kept my sight fixed on the lone cotton-like aggregation of water droplets.

I’ll make do.

We made it to the destination not long after, and Hana and I were placed on a patch of grass by the adults’ spot of choice. The tiny savage, with little prompting from Mei, crawled all the way to me and sat beside my head, looking down at my face. That arrangement left me slightly uncomfortable, as she had seemed more than just a little prone to aggression in our previous meeting.

I didn’t make a move to escape, though – never let them know you fear them and they won’t hurt you – wasn’t that the standard procedure when encountering wild animals… or bullies, perhaps? Beats me.

Hana reached out, eliciting a flinch from me, but my fears were unfounded, as the baby only grasped – softly – at my little tufts of hair, playing with them. I was surprised at her delicate hold of my strands, not expecting anything remotely gentle from the child. The astonishment had me glancing at her face, seeking an explanation for her actions, and I could not help the warmth that bloomed in my chest.

Hana’s eyes were sparkling, for once not set in a glare, and she had a grin plastered on her face, proudly showing the world her four front teeth. I guess she never had a chance to play with other kids’ hair, because she was having the time of her life. I couldn’t help the gurgle that bubbled from my throat, and gave into giggling at the other infant’s actions.

If playing with my hair made her so happy, by all means, she could do it all day long. I wouldn’t mind having her around if that’s how she would behave – blame my poor, melting heart.

A series of ‘snaps’ caught my attention, and I partially turned my attention to the adults. Both had light blushes on their faces, as they took many shots of Hana playing with my hair, enraptured by our interaction.

Yuu then got up, trying to get a better angle – to best capture his dear Rei-chan, he said – and a small book fell from his lap. Mei took it for him, as he seemed not to care enough to do so himself, brushing off the dirt from the cover.

“Yuu, you need to be more careful! You can’t mistreat your own work that way.” she reprimanded him, lightly tapping the object to his forehead.

Dad didn’t seem to care much, too far gone in his Rei-photographer persona. “No need to fret, Mei.” he laughed, exasperating her further “As the author, there is no shortage of copies at home!” He grinned at his phone, admiring his latest picture.

“You’re as hopeless as ever- I wonder how Midori handles you, honestly…” Yuu gave a cry of indignation, and both of them descended into light banter. Still, I was too distracted to pay much attention to it – my curiosity had been piqued by the knowledge that the book was his.

Although he had said we kept many copies at home, I had yet to see a single one! This was my chance to have a glimpse at Yuu’s work – illiteracy notwithstanding.

I used my hands to grasp at Hana’s, silently asking for her cooperation. She seemed none too pleased at having her ministrations interrupted, her glare back full-force, but to my bewilderment, she complied. With her aid, I crawled up to Mei’s legs, giving her a slight nudge. She instantly brought me to her arms, leaving Hana on the ground when the baby shrugged off her attempts at carrying.

Yuu seemed disheartened at having me ask her for attention, instead of him, but that soon changed when he noticed me motioning for the booklet in her hands. He looked so proud!

“Little Rei-chan is interested in papa’s work? That’s my baby!” He took me and the item from Mei, practically shoving it in my face out of excitement “I see my darling wants to support her papa! Mama will be so jealous when she finds out!”.

I wasn’t able to read the title, but the illustration accompanied by a Hayashi Yuu neatly printed on its lower right was more than enough, and comprehension dawned on me.

So, dad was a mangaka, huh.

While I was distracted by the new piece of information, Yuu decided to twirl me around, still happy from what he thought of as a ‘blatant show of interest’ – unsurprisingly, he overdid it, and nausea overcame me. Thank goodness Mei was there to stop the man, or I would have emptied the contents of my last meal on poor, unsuspecting Hana.

After the mother placed me by her daughter, she turned her sights to Yuu, lashing out. I felt slight pity at the sight of his cowering form, but my appreciation for Mei overpowered it. He did deserve the scolding.

Looking at the woman, I could finally see some resemblance to her child – it appeared death glares were genetic, after all.

While I became less sick in the stomach, my mind went back to Yuu’s profession, and a thought brought a smile to my face.

It would be nice if dad taught me how to draw.

Watching as the massacre took place not far from me, I humorously added – if he manages to survive the day.

A poke to my arm had my attention switching once again to the fellow baby in the vicinity, and, understanding her grabby motions, I rolled around – with some effort – and leant my head against her lap. Her soothing hands, for the second time in that afternoon, were roaming over my short tresses, and I was soon lulled to sleep.

At that moment, all was right in the world.

I only woke up later in the evening, with a little prompting from dad, to eat. We were already at home by then, and I could see Midori was passed out on the couch from my baby chair in the kitchen.

Mom must have had a tiring day. I yawned, and it wasn’t long until I was tucked into my crib, staying conscious barely long enough to hear Yuu carrying Midori to their room.