Chapter Text
Recording begins.
“Hey everyone, Avery here. This is my 189th… probably- recording so far. While I’ve been, of course, super psyched to work at DMS; I do wonder if I’m still cut out for it. My coworkers always look at me with a kind of weird look and I guess I don’t really blame them.
(Sigh.)
I’ll tell you a secret since we hit our sub goal last week. You have to promise not to tell anyone though, okay?
(Deep, uncomfortable inhale.)
My coworkers don’t like me because I accidentally made friends with one of the experiments. I know, I know, research is suppose to be without bias. If you start feeling things about your research- like friendship with a kid named Alex; then everything goes to heck!
But, it always rubbed me the wrong way that we never even offer a gift basket when we terminate their stay, you know? We never check in afterwards.
And you know, we never even check in already. Like, besides our statistical data … (clears throat,) I work in botany here so I’m not sure what other branches write down. But, for example, we never sit with the plants; we just water them. Sometimes, when I stay a little too late, I wonder if they get lonely after we power down.
…
Well, (nervous laughter) this tape isn’t about my feelings, now is it? I’ll actually get into what you’re interested in.
(sounds of paper rustling, then a clay pot being placed on desk.)
My Iris-Sun is growing just fine! I’ve been charting her growth patterns and REM status. Oh, to the 10 new subscribers who joined us last week- an Iris-Sun is sort of like a sunflower but different. Instead of a brown floral middle, it has an eye.
It’s kind of creepy at first, but if you work at the (exaggerated air quotations) Department of Metaphysical Sciences, you get used to it! I named her Mayo.
(To Mayo) Aren’t you just the cutest little freak? Yes, you are! You can’t see her, but she’s blinking just a little quicker which means she’s excited. Oh- she’s… she’s gotten camera shy.
Okay, well this is my sign to check back later. Thanks for listening and make sure to subscribe. Let me know what other things you guys want me to cover in the next one! I’ve heard that there’s some new hot gossip amongst my coworkers… apparently some experiment got out, or maybe someone got stuck in one? Either way, let me know what you think Bye!”
Recording ends.