Archive of Our Own

[Walking in frame are different rookie groupings. It cuts between different groups. One is Luca Haas and Artemy Levin. Another group is Wesley Young and Rhys Holmberg. The final group is Marcel LaPointe, Jack van der Bij and Gareth Jones.]

HOLMBERG: Hi! We’re the Foals… or the rookies of the Ottawa Centaurs, today we’re here to ask some burning questions.

YOUNG: And some not so burning questions.

HOLMBERG: We haven’t seen the questions yet, we don't actually know that.

[The intro plays, featuring different shots of the players from the Ottawa Centaurs 2021 Prospect Scrimmage. It follows HOLMBERG putting a slapshot into goal, HAAS skating around someone like they’re not even there, LEVIN stopping and shedding ice all over JONES. VAN DER BIJ scraping ice into the goal and then cutting to being chastised by HAYES. YOUNG and LAPOINTE do some impressive passing back and forth as they keep it away from people they’re playing against.]

[TITLE SCREEN: Introducing…  The Foals]

[Cut back to The Foals standing against a white background, underneath them their names, positions and how long they’ve been with the Centaurs pops up. They're all in various Centaurs merch, apart from GARETH JONES who is also wearing a Cardiff Devil’s hat.]

[HAAS is slightly taller, with curly blond hair and glasses that slip off his nose every few seconds, he's also borderline concerningly pale. Next to him is LEVIN, with red dyed hair that’s half bundled into a ponytail on the back of his head, with some strands falling out. LEVIN looks like he’s actually seen the sun in the past week.]

HAAS: Wait… what are we even doing?

LEVIN: We’re introducing ourselves for TikTok and YouTube and Instagram and— you get the idea.

HAAS: Uh… okay. I’m Luca Haas, I was the 2020/21 Calder Memorial Trophy winner— I’m from Zurich… I’m not even a rookie, why am I doing this?

LEVIN: To be famous duh. Hi! I’m Artemy Levin, I am a left defender and this is my first year with the Centaurs. I’m originally from Brighton Beach in New York City and I played with the Brooklyn Griffins, one of Ottawa’s affiliate teams in the AHL.

HAAS: Why is their affiliate team in New York City?

LEVIN: I don’t know? I didn’t decide this.

[YOUNG is relatively short and stocky, he has straight blond hair that falls either side of his face. He has pale blotchy skin and a bruise healing on his cheek. HOLMBERG has light brown hair that’s cut as a mullet in a straight-boy way, he’s quite tall and has smile lines set all across his face already]

YOUNG: I’m Wesley Young… I’m a winger and this is my third year on the Ottawa Centaurs, I guess I won’t be a rookie soon… and I’m from Adelaide. In case you couldn’t tell by the accent.

HOLMBERG: I’m Rhys Holmberg, it is also my second year on the Ottawa Centaurs. I’m Ottawa born and raised. I am also a centre on the third line. Which is kinda sad but also I’m on a team with Ilya Rozanov, Troy Barrett and Luca Haas.

YOUNG: And now Shane Hollander.

HOLMBERG: And now Shane Hollander… also real talk, how are we affording all these guys— we have like five All Stars on our team.

YOUNG: I think that’s why we have so many people on entry level contracts.

[LAPOINTE is tall, he has long dark hair that is braided behind his head and light brown skin. He is currently wearing a bandana around his neck over the top of the Centaurs hoodie he’s wearing. JONES is the tallest and bulkiest in the group, with wide shoulders and a set jaw. He has a brown buzzcut and is pale. VAN DER BIJ has brown skin and coily hair cropped close to his head, he has stubble littering the bottom half of his face as he has a stereotypically blank Dutchman look on his face.]

LAPOINTE: I am Marcel LaPointe and I am from Agaunish, Quebec. I am a left winger and I have the best hair.

VAN DER BIJ: I’m Jack van der Bij—

LAPOINTE: Or Bee.

VAN DER BIJ: And I am the second goalie… expected to follow Wyatt Hayes, everyone realises if he gets pulled from goal I’m also cooked, right?. 

JONES: You’ll be ‘right.

VAN DER BIJ: I am from Rotterdam. This is my first year playing for Ottawa. I previously played for the Pegasus. Oh, I’m twenty three.

JONES: Are you really a rookie at twenty-three?

VAN DER BIJ: I just turned twenty-three? It’s my NHL debut year, isn’t that the definition or am I wrong—

JONES: Anyway. I’m Gareth Jones. I’m twenty. ’m from Tonypandy.

LAPOINTE: You are making that up.

JONES: In the Rhondda Valley. I’m defense and I’m excited to knock some people over.

LAPOINTE: Remind me to never let you and Arty within three metres of each other. You’re like the same person.

VAN DER BIJ: English is not my first language and both you and Arty are hard to understand.

JONES frowns.

JONES, grumpily: Arty understands me just fine, you’re the ones with painted on ears.

LAPOINTE, looking at the camera: This is why I am worried they’ll become best friends.

ON SCREEN TEXT: Who are you most excited to play with?

HAAS: Shane Hollander. He’s on my line! That’s so cool.

LEVIN: Shane Hollander.

LAPOINTE: Shane Hollander.

VAN DER BIJ: Wyatt Hayes— although I guess I don’t play with him. Probably Artemy then?

JONES: Shane Hollander

YOUNG: Ilya Rozanov… again. I know we have Shane Hollander but like… Ilya Rozanov is like my idol. Don’t tell him I said that, that’s really embarrassing.

HOLMBERG: Shane Hollander— but also Artemy, he's a good guy.

ON SCREEN TEXT: What is your favourite food from Bood’s barbeques?

HAAS: Ribs.

LEVIN: The potato salad is amazing.

HAAS: Vegetables?

LEVIN: Luca, I’m vegetarian.

HAAS: You are?

LEVIN: Yeah.

HAAS: How are you getting the protein we need?

LEVIN: Tofu, eggs, edamane— I’ll bring you some food to practice tomorrow, it’s good.

VAN DER BIJ: Steak… he won’t tell me how he seasons it.

LAPOINTE: I’m pretty sure he just uses salt and pepper… you do have salt and pepper in Rotterdam, right?

VAN DER BIJ: Do we look like we are a joyous people?

LAPOINTE: Your country is like the weed capital of the world.

VAN DER BIJ: Yes. It is because we do not experience joy otherwise.

JONES: Even in Tonypandy we have salt and pepper, my mam likes to go crazy with it. Why did you lot steal the spice trade to never use them?

VAN DER BIJ: You’re from England?

JONES: YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT [BEEP] NOW YOU PIECE OF—

[JONES starts swearing in a long series of BEEP’s over his voice. LAPOINTE and VAN DER BIJ look increasingly impressed and also worried as it goes on. JONES spends about fifteen full seconds swearing before he looks at VAN DER BIJ.]

VAN DER BIJ: Alright… I got it, jeez.

YOUNG: Oh the burger sauce he makes is the best, I’m kinda sad that like… the sausages here and in America aren’t like back home.

HOLMBERG: What does that mean?

YOUNG: You either have hotdogs or like… Germanic sausages, you don’t have something that could count as a Bunnings snag.

HOLMBERG: You are making things up.

YOUNG: Wait until you learn about democracy sausages.

HOLMBERG: A what?

YOUNG: When we vote, there’s normally a sausage sizzle at the polling booth. The like Lyons club or local primary school will raise money that way, it’s an Aussie classic. One day I’ll open your eyes to the joys of a Bunnings snag.

HOLMBERG: Most of the words you say do not make sense to me. I like Bood’s teriyaki chicken kebabs.

ON SCREEN TEXT: What’s something you like about the other person/people in your interview group right now?

LEVIN: Like… hockey or as a person?

LILLIAN, offscreen: Either! We meant as a person, but both work.

LEVIN: Well… Luca Haas is obviously the greatest winger coming up through the NHL right now. He won the Calder! More importantly than that… I think Haas is good at listening, he kinda lets you be vulnerable because he doesn’t feel that awkward and he’s often the first one to be vulnerable. He’s really earnest.

HAAS: Oh. Um. Thank you.

LEVIN: He’s also incredibly humble.

HAAS, laughing, incredibly awkwardly: Um. Thank you… uh… I like how confident you are with yourself, you’re pretty sure of yourself and that strength moves through all of the rookies. It’s incredible to be so sure of yourself so young, it’s a skill I think the Centaur rookies are missing in general. You’re also one of the funniest people I’ve ever met, and your playstyle is so odd and it’s mesmerising to watch.

LEVIN: Awww! Thank you Luca. I love you.

HAAS: I love you too?

LAPOINTE: Uh… I can go first. Jones— Garry—

JONES: That is not my name.

LAPOINTE: I really like how like… proud you are of Wales and where you’re from. It’s made me feel a bit prouder of where I’m from. I also think you are one of the most impressive enforcer-style players that have come through recently.

JONES: It’s really nothing.

LAPOINTE: No one fights anymore! Which is good in some ways, but also bad in a team of rookies who do get pushed around a lot. Some of the uh… people on our team will need protection and you’re a fiercely loyal person to have around.

JONES: Thanks Pointy.

LAPOINTE: Not my name.

JONES: And Gary isn’t mine. I think… you’re very uh… sensible you know? You’re like proper put together in a way none of us are. I’ve told mam about you and she has no stress knowin’ you’re around me.

LAPOINTE: You told your mum about me?

JONES: Yeah. And Bee, I really like how focused you are. You’re real good at just focusing on what actually matters, even if we’re just fighting over some dumb shit.

VAN DER BIJ: Oh— um thank you. I think you’re loyal, and I’m kind of afraid for the day another team crosses us. LaPointe, you’re one of the kindest guys I’ve ever met— and like Jones said you’re the most responsible. Mama is glad that you’re around.

LAPOINTE: You both told your mum’s about me?

VAN DER BIJ: She was worried I wasn’t eating well and I told her we were helping each other on our meal plans. I then sent her my meal plan— should I not do that?

JONES: I sent Mam mine.

LAPOINTE: You do realise you’re adults, right?

VAN DER BIJ: You do not have a European mother.

LAPOINTE: I have a Neenoilno mother, that's much scarier.

YOUNG: Uh… his hair is nice?

HOLMBERG: Thanks? I like your accent.

YOUNG: Thanks?

HOLMBERG: You also invented ways to swear I didn’t even know was possible.

YOUNG: I didn’t invent anything, that’s just how speaking works.

ON SCREEN TEXT: Who out of the Foals would you make captain?

LEVIN: Haas.

HAAS: Uh— probably LaPointe actually. LaPointe with Holmberg as his alternate.

LEVIN: Oh wait— I can see that.

LAPOINTE: Luca!

JONES: LaPointe.

VAN DER BIJ: It’s between Haas and LaPointe.

LAPOINTE: You don’t need to say that just because I’m in your group.

JONES: Alrightie then, Young.

VAN DER BIJ: I don’t even think Young knows the rules of hockey let alone how to argue that they didn’t happen.

HOLMBERG: The funniest option is Arty and Jones.

YOUNG: Correct.

HOLMBERG: I think all of us have leading potential though… I am going to say Arty and Jones though because sometimes I do want to see someone beat up a ref.

YOUNG: Don’t say that!

HOLMBERG: That goalie interference last season was bullshit and you know it. I didn’t even touch that guy.

ON SCREEN TEXT: How would you describe the playing style of the person/people you’re grouped with in one word?

LEVIN: Fast

HAAS: Odd.

LEVIN: Seriously?

HAAS: You switch your grips midplay, I’ve never seen anyone do that.

LEVIN: Do it again.

HAAS: Agitator.

LEVIN: Rude.

LAPOINTE: Enforcer. Calculated

VAN DER BIJ: Strategically and— car crash.

JONES: That’s two words.

VAN DER BIJ: There’s a hyphen.

JONES: Is there?

LAPOINTE: No.

VAN DER BIJ: I added one.

JONES: Like cowards. One word for the each of ‘ya.

HOLMBERG: Edges.

YOUNG: Classic.

HOLMBERG: Aww— thanks.

ON SCREEN TEXT: What is your favourite thing about Ottawa?

LEVIN: The people— and District Deli. It’s fairly close to my place so sometimes I’ll go there after a run.

HAAS: Not sponsored.

LEVIN: I am open to being sponsored, District Deli, if you give me free sandwiches I’ll do an ad for you.

HAAS: I’m not sure if you can do that.

LEVIN, ignoring him entirely: I also love how insane Ottawa is about hockey— I come from New York where we like hockey but everyone in Canada is intense. I’ve been recognised and the preseason hasn’t even started yet.

HAAS: I don’t remember the last time I’ve had to pay for coffee.

LEVIN: Why do you think everyone invites you out for coffee, dude?

HAAS: Wait what? Is that why you invite me out?

LEVIN: Well it’s not the only reason but it helps.

JONES: Tim Horten’s.

LAPOINTE: Really?

JONES, sarcastically: Bagged milk.

LAPOINTE: It makes sense!

JONES: This country is full of freaks.

LAPOINTE: I’m from a tiny, tiny town so— the fact people are outside at night was incredible when I first came here for hockey. I like the nightlife too.

VAN DER BIJ: It is so depressing you think Ottawa has nightlife.

LAPOINTE: Does Rotterdam have nightlife?

VAN DER BIJ: More than here. We should do a rookie trip to the Netherlands.

JONES: Sure.

LAPOINTE: Can we start with Ottawa and work our way up? 

YOUNG: The Frat House, for sure.

HOLMBERG: We are not calling it that.

LILLIAN, offscreen: Please explain The Frat House.

HOLMBERG: It’s where a bunch of the rookies live. So we have— me, Young, Bee, Arty and Jones. LaPointe and Haas live about a fifteen minute walk away.

YOUNG: LaPointe and Haas live in the same apartment complex, not with each other.

HOLMBERG: Although they crash at ours so much we should start charging rent.

YOUNG: LaPointe pays his rent by having a functional brain. Haas pays it because he actually knows how to score unlike someone.

HOLMBERG: They keep saying it's goalie interference! I don’t know what I’m meant to do about this.

YOUNG: The Frat House is for sure the best thing about Ottawa, I almost think we should buy it and rent it out for future rookies.

HOLMBERG: Wait, that's nice.

YOUNG: We can profit off the young.

HOLMBERG: You’re odd.

ON SCREEN TEXT: Are we winning the cup this year?

LEVIN: [Beep] yeah!

HAAS: If we don’t with Shane Hollander on our team that’s embarrassing for us.

JONES: Obviously.

LAPOINTE: I hope so! There are plenty of good teams.

VAN DER BIJ: I think the Bobcats and the Scouts are serious contenders this year— it’ll be difficult but—

JONES: It’s not the bloody press. Yes, we’re gonna win the cup.

HOLMBERG: We are going to win that cup so hard we actually get to keep it forever.

YOUNG: If we win, wanna get a tattoo?

HOLMBERG: Sure.

YOUNG: Actually we should ask all the rooks.

HOLMBERG: I think we should all get a matching tattoo.

YOUNG: We could make Haasy design it.

HOLMBERG: Ah, free labour.

YOUNG: Well obviously… we don’t own our house to profit off the young yet.

[Intro: ‘All I Do Is Win’ plays over the top of quick cuts of everyone playing hockey, it shows HAYES as the Venezia finalist, BARRETT slamming a goal into the net for Team Canada and turning around to get hugged-tackled by HOLLANDER. BOOD and ROZANOV doing a nasty pass back and forth to get around defenders. CHOUINARD diving to stop an empty netted goal and BOYLE pouring water all over CHOUINARD’s head.]

[The video starts with all of the Veteran players walking into frame on a dark red background. The players are in groups: Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov, the second group is Wyatt Hayes, Troy Barrett and Zane Boodram and the final group is Nick Chouinard and Benjamin Boyle.]

[On screen below their faces their names and playing positions come up, as well as how long they’ve been playing for the Centaurs.]

[ROZANOV claps his hands together. HOLLANDER looks a bit confused about the entire affair, glancing off camera every few seconds.]

ROZANOV: Alrightie! What are we doing here? I will not be eating Swedish candy again.

HOLLANDER: You do very different social media to what I did last year.

ROZANOV, waving at the camera: Hello fans, we are going to win you a cup this year! What are we doing Lillian?

[The video cuts between different player’s reactions as Lillian explains the same thing.]

LILLIAN: Today we have brought you in to talk about our rookies, or the Centaur Foals as we’re calling them.

ILYA: Foals?

BOYLE: … the name doesn’t really strike fear into the heart of our enemies.

BARRETT: Oh that’s cute, did Harris come up with that? How many meetings did that take?

LILLIAN: So each of you have been paired up with a different rookie to talk about them.

BARRETT: Oh Holmberg, that’s fun.

BOOD: LaPointe… I thought they’d give me him.

HAYES: van der Bij— these picks all seem very surface level.

BARRETT: Well, you have more to say about Bee’s game than we do. I don’t know what makes a goalie good.

HAYES: Normally it’s helpful if you stop the puck.

BOOD, looking at the camera: Everyone on the team speaks like they’re doing one liners at each other. Roz, Hayes and Holmberg are particularly bad for it.

BARRETT: Doesn’t that just mean we’re funny?

BOOD: Sometimes.

BOYLE: Young, that’s fun.

CHOUINARD: Jonesy.

BOYLE: Do you ever think about how most of our nicknames are putting ‘ey’ at the end of a name? We have, Haasy and Hollzy and Hazy—

CHOUINARD: No one calls Hollander, Hollzy.

BOYLE: The rooks do. We have Jonesy, we have Arty.

CHOUINARD: I dunno if Arty counts that’s been his nickname since he was a kid.

BOYLE: Hm. I guess.

ROZANOV: Oh! I have Arty, that’s exciting.

HOLLANDER: Luca.

ROZANOV: Your son.

HOLLANDER: He is not my son.

ROZANOV: You are both annoying about hockey and you are both annoying about Shane Hollander, you are basically related.

HOLLANDER: He calls me a stupid fruit.

ROZANOV: And then he drools over your ability to see seams and calls you the best sniper the league has ever seen.

HOLLANDER: You do that too and you’re not my son.

ROZANOV: Are you saying you and Luca do what you and I do? I didn’t know Luca— [HARD CUT]

[Apparently a few seconds later HOLLANDER is standing with his face in his hands as ROZANOV grins at him.]

HOLLANDER: Please cut all of that out.

LILLIAN: I will. I did not need to know this about my childhood hero.

ON SCREEN TEXT: What was your first impression of them?

BOOD: That LaPointe was a really solid kid. I first met him in… 2018 when we got him straight from the draft. It hadn’t been announced yet that Rozanov was joining the team. I met him and he seemed really switched on to the people around him, he became a natural leader at the prospects scrimmage and the rookie camps.

BARRETT: Uh— probably that Holmberg is really funny. I’d just been traded and was a bit miserable about it but Holmberg always made me laugh pretty hard.

HAYES: I think I first met Bee when I was in Holland… I went to see a HC Rotterdam game and just before the kids were finishing their game, Bee was in the goal. It was field hockey so a bit different but Bee was really good.

BOOD: Does Bee know about this?

HAYES: I don’t think so. Then I think Bee transitioned to ice hockey. The first time he remembers me meeting him would’ve been at… maybe one of his CHL games in Toronto. He looked at me and he started scrambling around for a pen so I could sign his helmet.

BOOD: And did you sign it?

HAYES: Yeah! Arty says he still has it.

BOYLE: My first impression of Young… I would’ve met him at the 2018 Prospect scrimmage, right?

CHOUINARD: I reckon. That’s where I met Jones for the first time. 

BOYLE: Alright so… I met Young and he checked me into the boards so hard I could feel my teeth.

CHOUINARD: Jones did the same! Although that was… two weeks ago, I still have bruises, man.

BOYLE: And then for some reason Young asked me to explain icing? He’s Canadian, he should just be like… born knowing all the hockey rules. How he got so far in the NHL without knowing all the rules I will never know.

ROZANOV: Oh! In the rookie camp last year. I told Arty we were going to do bag skates later in the day and he swore at me in Russian so aggressively I became impressed and we didn’t do those. Then he went back to the AHL and played in New York and then he came back this year! This time he t

HOLLANDER, several emotions flashing on his face: Uh, I first heard about Haas from you. You kept talking about this rookie you got. First time I talked to him properly was on the ice during playoffs last year and I told him he had a good shot and he uh… said he had my trading cards.

[ROZANOV starts laughing.]

ROZANOV, howling with laughter: You did not tell me this!

HOLLANDER: I didn’t know they shipped to Switzerland.

ROZANOV, crying with laughter: I am never letting him forget this. Little fanboy.

ON SCREEN TEXT: What is something you don’t think the general public would guess about your rookie?

HAYES: That he doesn’t like Marvel.

BOOD: Wyatt, you have to let that go.

HAYES: No.

BOOD: You have to let it go.

HAYES: I won’t.

BOOD: Mine is that LaPointe is really good at fishing. Agaunish, where he’s from, is a fishing town mostly, but he’s very good at it. He completely showed me up when we went fishing over the summer.

BARRETT: Holmberg knows all the words to Hamilton, and when he’s stressed before a game he starts singing it to himself.

CHOUINARD: Uh— I feel like Jones is quite upfront with who he is. There is this Welsh song he keeps singing, he’s really fond of it. 

BOYLE: Sosban Fach, he keeps trying to play it in the locker room. He doesn’t know Welsh apparently but he does know all the words to this song and will do it perfectly. A similar one then is that Young speaks Korean.

CHOUINARD: Why?

BOYLE: His ex-girlfriend was Korean.

CHOUINARD: Wait that’s sweet.

BOYLE: He’s a sweet guy when you ignore the fact he knows nothing about how hockey works. Did you hear him tell Wiebe that he should just put Roz, Hollander, Barrett, Haas and Bood on the same line?

CHOUINARD: When we were talking last season about needing defensive  depth what did he think we meant?

BOYLE: I have no clue.

ROZANOV: Tell me Hollander, what would people not guess about Haas by looking at him.

HOLLANDER, trying not to laugh: Oh, I can’t say that.

ROZANOV: Say what?

HOLLANDER: I’ve been sworn to secrecy.

ROZANOV: Even from me?

HOLLANDER: Especially from you. Uh… okay… Haas’s favourite movie is Bolt.

ROZANOV: It is a good movie.

HOLLANDER: It is not good enough to be your favourite movie.

ROZANOV: Yes it is. It is my favourite movie. 

HOLLANDER: Your favourite movie is The Cranes Are Flying.

ROZANOV: You remembered! I have made him watch it four times to learn his Russian, he still does not know what is happening in it. Say the title in Russian.

HOLLANDER: Letyat zhuravli.

ROZANOV: Excellent! Okay— a fun fact about Arty is that he is a vegetarian! He is a big burly guy so you would not guess it, he eats more protein than all of us. The amount of eggs I see him snacking on is alarming.

ON SCREEN TEXT: What is the most unique thing about your assigned rookie's playstyle?

HAYES: Bee doesn’t butterfly as much as most other goalies, he favours catching them. He doesn’t play with training gloves underneath so he can feel the puck in his hand.

BOOD: He can feel them?

HAYES: Yeah.

BOOD: Wow. I reckon LaPointe’s is that he tapes like… two rolls of tape on the end of his stick.

TROY: I think Holmberg’s is how old school he plays, he’s very clean and he’s slower than a lot of players but he makes up for that by being able to have better puck handling. He’s one of the most controlled players I’ve met, on literally any other team he’d be centreline easy.

BOOD: But… the whole Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov

HAYES: I’m kind of excited for the rookies to leave and to see how good they are when they get more ice time. I mean, we have a bunch of top ten draft picks and it shows.

CHOUINARD: Well, the fact enforcers don’t exist really anymore. Jones being like… mostly keeping to himself but also being silent and like hitting a car is pretty old school. He plays more clumsily than a lot of people but he’s like a brick wall so he can do that.

BOYLE: Young’s edges are so clean, I know that’s fairly common with the rookies coming through but some of the moves he pulls are ridiculous.

CHOUINARD: Yeah, I’d say him and Haas have the cleanest edges of anyone I’ve ever played with.

BOYLE: Easily.

HOLLANDER: Uh— maybe not unique but Haas is fast.

ROZANOV: Still slower than you.

HOLLANDER: He is nineteen, Ilya. He might be faster than me one day.

ROZANOV: Arty switches which way he’s gripping his stick midplay, he also has really clean edgework. He’s also a pest.

HOLLANDER: That’s not that unique, you basically invented that.

ROZANOV: I think he has potential…

HOLLANDER: Did you just say… you think Arty might have the same chirping and agitating skills you did.

ROZANOV: You did not hear that here.

ON SCREEN TEXT: What’s one thing you appreciate about the rookie you’ve been assigned?

BOOD: I think LaPointe is a natural leader and he takes that responsibility on very well, he’s often organising the rookies, and I think partially that comes from him being the oldest of them— apart from Bee, but LaPointe is very sure of himself. I’m glad he gets a break and doesn’t have to live in The Frat House.

BARRETT: I am afraid of that place. 

HAYES: Everyone is… 

BARRETT: I think Holmberg adds something really important to the team, it’s very easy to get wrapped up in the fact we’re a cup contender now. There’s a level of expectation on us that there wasn’t when he first joined. Still, he’s as happy and cheery as when we were losing all our games compared to now.

HAYES: I think Bee makes everyone else stop and think… which for a bunch of hockey players is hard to do. Bee never pretends not to care about something when he really does, you know he cares and that’s nice. Like when he said he thought Spider-Man was overrated instead of just listening to me talk—

BOOD: Hayes you gotta let that go.

BARRETT: You can’t hold this grudge forever.

HAYES: I am going to try.

BOOD: Bee also brings us speculaas.

BOYLE: I think what Young mainly does for the team is makes sure that no one feels dumb, like… I know Young knows what icing is, you can’t actually make it this far without knowing it at least a little. I do think all of his dumb questions are so other people don’t feel dumb asking questions, like— if the NHL-er is asking what icing is it then makes all the other questions feel fine, y’know?

CHOUINARD: Jones is very sure of himself, and very loud and proud about it. He doesn’t… keep his head down and endure anything, if he doesn’t like something he will let you know. I think that’s a really valuable skill. I know him and Arty are very like that, and I think it’s had a really positive impact on the team.

CHOUINARD: I also think Jones being so proud of Wales and being Welsh has given space for some of the other guys to be prouder of where they’re from and share their culture more. We had a potluck recently and a lot of people brought food from their country or cultures.

LILLIAN: What was the best food there?

BOYLE: That’s a messed up question and you know it.

CHOUINARD: Hollander’s enoki tempura was pretty good.

BOYLE: Bood made aloo pie, it’s like pastry and potato. That was my favourite. It’s like… extra deep fried potato, it’s so good. I should ask him to bring some to practice for motivation.

HOLLANDER: I think Haas is really easy to talk to in a way a lot of other people aren’t, I mean— I know him and you talked about some things last year and he really helped. I think Haas is very sweet and just… willing to help and lend an ear.

[ROZANOV is squinting, looking like he’s using all three of his brain cells to figure something out.]

HOLLANDER: Why do you look like that?

ROZANOV: I am thinking.

HOLLANDER: Are you thinking about what would be funniest to say?

ROZANOV: No.

HOLLANDER, smiling: I don’t believe you

ROZANOV: I think Artemy Levin is one of the best people we could have gotten on this team, he completes something I didn’t even realise was missing both amongst the rookies, on the ice and for team cohesion. We needed someone who uh… was going to say anything, I think a lot of the people on the team have spent a long time staying quiet about everything, that now we are allowed to say more we forget. Levin does not look out for the media the way we do, it is… kind of freeing to be around him.

HOLLANDER: Oh…

ROZANOV: He does not worry the same way we do, and sometimes I worry that we have taught our rookies to be scared of the media. Levin isn’t afraid of the media or who he is, he is honest with himself and I think it makes him a stronger player. You can not get chirped about things you are insecure about if you are not insecure about them.

HOLLANDER: Ilya…

ROZANOV: Arty is a strong player and an even stronger person, I am very excited to be his captain.

HOLLANDER: … you’ve made my answer sound bad now.

ROZANOV: I am the captain, it would be embarrassing if I didn’t know how to compliment our newest rookie. Arty if you are watching this, which I am sure you are, you are a very important addition to our team. If they try to trade you I will bite them.