Chapter 1: And So It Begins...
Chapter Text
Alphas, the rulers of the hierarchy, are normally found within positions of powers – teachers, politics, police. Alphas can mate only with omegas and not necessarily their soul mate. Protective, and some might say possessive, alphas refuse to let their omegas be harmed or looked at in a romantic, nor sexual, way. This protectiveness is unrelenting when the alpha and omega are soul mates.
Betas, in the middle of the hierarchy, don’t seem to have a set job arc they stay within. Betas have been known to go on to positions of power, submission and also job ranks that would be classed in the middle of the two. Betas can mate with fellow betas and also omegas. Betas, are not as protective as alphas of their mate, unless this mate is their soul mate.
Omegas, the bottom of the hierarchy, are usually found within positions of submission within the job world if they so choose to go into work. Most omegas are found to be mated with alphas yet some can be found to have mated with betas. Most interestingly, through evolution, male omegas have be found to have the ability to fall pregnant [see page 74]. Omegas go through their heats at any age between 16 and 18, although rare cases have been found of omegas having their heat before and after this age set [see page 70].
The identity mark appears on a person’s right wrist on their 16th birthday, allowing them to know where they fit within the hierarchy. Although many people can tell where they fit within this hierarchy, mistakes can be made, and the identity mark allows them to know where they fit within life. Identity marks burn and glow when someone meets their soul mate for the first time [see page 57].
Mates create their bond during the first sexual experience during an omega’s heat; betas choose to mate when they wish, a bond created only if both people truly want it. Mates are able to connect and talk to each other telepathically, despite any distance between them [see page 45].
Soul mates, the one that a person is supposed to spend the rest of their life with. A person’s world lacks colours until they meet their soul mate. In recent days, with the population bloom, many people are not finding their soulmates and choose to mate with someone else.
Cuffs are worn by alphas after they mate. Their omega wears a matching collar, preventing any unwanted attempts on an omega. Recent laws dictate that alphas and omegas must wear these for their own protection, fines being issued if not, and jail time should the law be broken more than three times.
-xox-
The bell rang and Tsukishima jumped a little, engrossed in the definitions they had been studying. With a sigh, he closed his textbook, not really listening to the teacher telling them to study omega heat and answer the questions on it. Packing up, Tsukishima was eager to get to volleyball practice and work out the tension in his muscles. They’d been aching more and more lately, no matter how much he stretched, no matter how much muscle oil he rubbed in. He wanted to get out of this damn class, he didn’t want to learn about omegas.
Tsukishima had lived his whole life believing he was an alpha; the tall, muscular boy at the age of 14, dominating the volleyball court. His parents were proud, excited to have an alpha son – his brother being a beta. Tsukishima hadn’t thought beta status was something to be ashamed of, until he’d grown up. When he’d seen how the world worked, he understood why his brother was ashamed of a beta mark; Tsukishima understood why his family wanted him to be an alpha so badly.
Then, Tsukishima had woken on his 16th birthday, and of course, his whole life had crashed around him.
A delicately inked Ω sat in his inner right wrist, as though someone had tattooed it there whilst he slept. Panic had ensued; all the time there were stories of omegas who had been thrown out of the family, a dishonour on the family name. Tsukishima had gone downstairs with a long sleeved shirt on, hoping they wouldn’t see the delicate mark, but his alpha father could smell it on him.
Tsukishima’s scent had changed forever.
His brother had gotten him an alpha cuff to wear, to cover the mark as he started high school. Luckily, his best friend, Yamaguchi, was a beta, and most people assumed the omega scent came from him. Yamaguchi didn’t seem to care that most people thought he was Tsukishima’s omega; Tsukishima didn’t understand why.
Being claimed by another human was nothing to be proud of. That was his opinion, at least.
A grey flash, followed by a yell flashed by him and Tsukishima sighed. Hinata was here. Kageyama followed swiftly, yelling at Hinata to slow down.
Their relationship had definitely changed. Instead of yelling in anger, Kageyama’s tone suggested care and worry. Tsukishima’s lips set in a thin frown. He wondered how they were doing, seeing in colour.
Kageyama and Hinata had almost had heart attacks when they lay eyes on each other. They’d both developed the ability to see in colour during their match against each other in junior high. Neither knew who their soul mate was, confused by the amount of players and the chaos of the match, only for them to lay eyes on each other in the gymnasium and realise. Kageyama, an alpha, and Hinata, an omega, had found each other oh so simply.
Although, Tsukishima was thankful for the protectiveness; it truly did aid them in matches.
“Tsukki!”
The blocker stopped walking and glanced behind him, smiling softly at Yamaguchi.
“Hi.”
“Hi! How was omega class?”
Tsukishima glanced around, hissing at Yamaguchi to keep his voice down before watching his feet as they fell in step. “Humiliating.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”
“What would you know? You’re a beta.”
Tsukishima twisted his right wrist in his pocket, his cuff digging into his skin. He sighed, letting the flare of anger go. “Let’s just get to practice.”
The absence of Sugawara was noted the moment Tsukishima walked into the gym, and he glanced at Daichi. He didn’t seem focused, not fully in the gym. He was in his head, talking to Sugawara.
Tsukishima looked to his right as Tanaka headed over to the two first years that had just walked in.
“Dai-chan is on edge; Sugawara went into heat this morning; it’s the first heat since they mated that Dai-chan hasn’t been there for. He’s tense so, try not to push him.”
They both nodded and Tsukishima disappeared to the locker room, changing swiftly before he returned to the court.
-xox-
Tsukishima almost collapsed as he panted in the locker room. He felt like he was overheating and his muscles seemed even more tense, almost painful at his point. Struggling to open his locker, he eventually gave up. Turning, he leant his back against the cold metal, sliding to the ground.
Tsukishima couldn’t breathe properly, and he curled up, head between his knees as he took deep breaths, trying to regain control. It was a struggle, but he eventually managed it. He tilted his head back, letting it rest on the lockers as other members started filing in.
Azumane stood by him, opening his locker, and Tsukishima flinched away. He startled himself and stared up at Azumane, blinking as his breathing started growing erratic again. Azumane was watching him, an eyebrow raised.
“Tsukishima?”
A growl came from the right side of him and Tsukishima looked up at Nishinoya, fixing his collar in place as he moved to stand in between Tsukishima and Azumane.
“What the hell is going on in here?”
Daichi was stood in the doorway, wiping his neck of sweat. Tsukishima looked between Daichi and Nishinoya before forcing himself to stand. His knees felt weak but he forced himself to open his locker.
“Nothing.”
Silence followed his words and Tsukishima focused on pulling his clothes free. He’d have a shower at home; he just wanted to get out of here. He could feel Nishinoya glaring daggers at him, and it made him feel ill.
Tsukishima could feel more eyes staring at him, and he slammed his locker.
“If anyone would like to speak up on their problem with me, that would be great.” He crossed his arms and turned to face everyone. No one looked away, which made Tsukishima grit his teeth.
“Tsukki-” Yamaguchi stepped forward before Nishinoya growled again.
“Yeah, I have a problem with you making a pass at my mate.”
Tsukishima raised an eyebrow, turning to watch the libero. “I wasn’t making a pass.”
“Yes you were!” Nishinoya went to step forward, but Azumane’s hand slammed down on his shoulder preventing him from moving. Nishinoya hesitated before he turned to face Azumane, casting a glare over his shoulder. “What is it with un-mated omegas and taken alphas?”
Tsukishima froze.
The only people on the team that knew he was an omega were Daichi and Yamaguchi. He looked around, wide eyed.
“Tsukki… your scent.” Yamaguchi’s voice was quiet, and Tsukishima forced himself to take a breath.
Kageyama was staring at him, pupils round and large; just like Daichi and Azumane – their pupils were smaller but it was enough to make Tsukishima feel like he was being preyed on.
“Tsukishima, you need to go home.”
Tsukishima’s eyes found Daichi’s and he took a breath. “What’s happening? I don’t understand.”
Daichi wouldn’t meet his eyes, turning to his own locker. “You’re about to start your first heat.”
-xox-
Yamaguchi had volunteered to walk Tsukishima home, and they walked in silence. Embarrassment was still dusting Tsukishima’s cheeks a dark colour, and he stared at the ground. The cold air felt good on his too hot skin, and he took a breath.
“Tsukki...”
The blocker turned his eyes to the left where Yamaguchi was watching him, concern on his features.
“Don’t...”
“So what if they know?”
Tsukishima stopped walking and turned his eyes up. The moon was full, light reflecting off it and beaming down.
“Do you know why I like the moon so much?”
“You’ve never said.” Yamaguchi’s voice was quiet, withdrawn a little, but Tsukishima could tell he was interested.
“Because it’s white, and I know it’s white in colour. My eyes don’t lie to me. It’s not a dark, dreary grey, like a depression covering the world. It reflects light and gives the illusion that it shines a bright white. It’s the only colour I know; the only one I know isn’t a scam, a deception. I like looking at it because… for a moment, I feel like I can belong. It’s like I’m here in the world, like I have the person I’m meant to be with, or at least seen them. I can lie to myself and tell myself I can see in colour, even if for a brief moment.”
After a few moments, Tsukishima turned his gaze turned back to Yamaguchi; his hair hung grey, face a paler grey – and he looked like he was about to cry.
“Yamaguchi?”
“You can get home from here, right? It’s only a few more streets.”
Tsukishima nodded, confused. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine! I just remembered I was meant to help at home tonight and wasn’t- uh, wasn’t meant to go to practice! Text me when you’re home so I know you got there safely!”
Tsukishima nodded again before Yamaguchi turned, running off.
Frowning a little, Tsukishima looked up at the sky one more time, smiling softly at the moon before he turned, making his way home.
Chapter Text
The sound of Tsukishima’s alarm woke him abruptly. Groaning, he rubbed his face and reached an arm up to turn it off, before sitting up. Tsukishima yawned a little before moving to collect his phone from the side of the bed. Through the fuzz of sleep and not wearing his glasses, he could see that he had numerous texts, but before he could reach for his glasses, pain surged through his stomach.
Crying out, Tsukishima dropped his phone, his arms curling around his stomach as he keeled over. He struggled for breath; every inhalation felt like someone was twisting a red hot knife through his intestines.
The sound of rushing feet and his door sliding open made Tsukishima look up, and he could make out his brother in the doorway before he disappeared, calling for their Mother.
Sweat began to drip from Tsukishima’s forehead and he struggled to stay calm as panic set in his joints. He began to pant, tears welling up from the pain.
“Kei… Kei, sweetheart.”
His Mother’s voice was there and carefully, Tsukishima was manoeuvred back onto his bed. The pain in his stomach got worse and he cried out, weak.
“Shh baby boy, shh shh.” His Mother cradled his head, stroking his hair gently. “It’s alright, Kei, it’s okay.”
“W-What’s happening?”
“It’s your first heat, Kei,” his Mother smiled down, her words hushed. “It’ll be alright.”
“I have to go to school, I have classes, volleyball-”
“Not today, you don’t.”
Tsukishima might have argued, but his stomach burned red hot again and he choked on his words, fresh tears pouring down the sides of his face. All the could do was cling to his Mother, crying softly through the pain.
For the first time since he understood the hierarchy, Tsukishima was grateful his Mother was an omega; her heats weren’t as bad as a male’s, but she understood it.
“Suppress it, please.” Tsukishima choked on tears and inhaled sharply as the pain twisted his stomach again. “It hurts so bad, please.”
“We can’t Kei,” his Mother’s tone was soft, apologetic. “You need to let your hormones peak and set their point or your suppressants will just keep getting higher. You have to let your body develop.”
Tsukishima couldn’t help the whine that passed his lips and twisted where he lay, pressing his head against his Mother’s stomach. It calmed him, slightly, and he was able to crack his eyes open again as his brother walked back into the room. Akiteru held a glass out to him, and Tsukishima struggled to sit up, having to use his Mother to lean on.
Taking the glass, Tsukishima gulped the liquid down before pulling a face.
“Sedatives. It’ll be easier if you sleep through your first one.”
“They’re disgusting.” Tsukishima shuddered before he gasped out, the pain in his stomach twisting once more. He went to talk; he opened his mouth, but dizziness hit him and he fell back onto his bed.
Tsukishima was barely away of his Mother and brother helping him to lay fully on the bed, covering him with his duvet.
A pair of lips were on his too hot forehead; they were cool, and Tsukishima relished at the contrast of temperature before they were gone.
“Sleep well son.”
Tsukishima tried to reach out before darkness took over, and the sedatives took him to a cool place with no pain.
-xox-
Tsukishima’s eyes flickered open and he groaned a little. He blinked slowly before he hesitantly sat up. The first thing he noticed was the dull, thudding ache in his stomach, making him curse under his breath. He took a moment before he swung his legs to the side. There was a small tray on the floor by his bed; a glass of juice and a sandwich. The juice was a pale grey and he recognised it as orange juice.
Tsukishima smiled softly, knowing it would have been Akiteru that left them there. He leaned down to grab the glass of orange juice, and almost pitched forward. Forcing himself back up, he took a breath. The sedatives must have still been in his system.
First thing first, Kei. Tsukishima sighed and reached behind him, finding his glasses on the top of the head of his bed and slipped them on. Looking back, he saw his phone – Akiteru must have put it up there from where he dropped it in the morning.
Using the head of the bed to brace himself, Tsukishima leaned to the side, managing to grab the glass or orange juice. Bringing it to his lips, he swallowed a few mouthfuls before taking some breaths. That felt a little better.
Tsukishima’s phone buzzed behind him, startling him, and he glanced back. A new text message notification was on the screen and he picked it up, tapping his passcode in.
Good luck! Make sure you have someone to look after you and try and stay in bed. Don’t do anything too strenuous and stay rested. Remember – the first heat is always the worst one; if you can get through this one, you can get through anything!
Tsukishima read the text from Sugawara a few times, smiling softly. Scrolling through the rest of the texts, there was one from Nishinoya apologising for getting too protective at practive.
Tsukishima couldn’t blame him; as an alpha beta pair, Azumane and Nishinoya’s bond wouldn’t be as strong as that of an alpha omega. Being the first alpha beta pair in 70 years, they were still working things out; there wasn’t so much information as there was for alpha omega. An un-mated omega could pose a threat.
Making a mental note to talk with Nishinoya when he returned to school, he carried on through the texts. There was one from Daichi, saying he didn’t have to hurry back to volleyball practice, even when he was back at school, telling him to take it at his own pace.
Tsukishima smiled softly, but not before he noticed the lack of messages from Yamaguchi. Sighing, he set it back down and reached down to find a half of the sandwich. Biting into it, he stared at his ceiling.
First heats could take anywhere from a day to a week, and Tsukishima really didn’t want to be cooped up in his room, or even his house, for that long. He wanted to play volleyball, he wanted to walk around, to run. He wanted to stretch and stop the ball. He let the sandwich half in his hand drop to the plate.
The heat that had been coursing around Tsukishima’s body early that day, overheating his body, had disappeared, and he hesitantly decided to get up. Shaking as he stood, Tsukishima managed to make the walk from his bed to the door.
There were no signs from downstairs, and he assumed his Mother and Akiteru had left for work.
Taking a breath, Tsukishima started his way down the stairs, bracing himself against the wall. It took him a few minutes, but finally he stood at the bottom of the stairs and he was heading to the garden. Tsukishima didn’t care that he was still in pyjamas; if he was going to be in pain, he wanted it to be in his hands.
Tsukishima managed to get to the door before he cried out in pain. There was a sharp pain between his legs and he collapsed to his knees, breathing harshly. Tears fell from his eyes and then the floor came to meet him.
-xox-
There was a wet cloth on Tsukishima’s forehead, and his eyes cracked open. He groaned a little, pulling the cloth from his forehead.
“Kei?”
Tsukishima turned his head to the right, only to find Akiteru there, concern written all over his face.
“I thought you were at work.”
“I rung in and explained the situation to my boss. They let me stay off to look after you today. What were you doing downstairs?”
Tsukishima closed his eyes. “I wanted to play. If I can’t practice with the club, I wanted to practice by myself.”
“Maybe tomorrow, Kei. You can’t today.”
Tsukishima grimaced but looked away. “Can I have my omega class textbook?”
Akiteru watched him a moment before nodding. Tsukishima watched him move across the room to go through his bag. A few moments later, Akiteru returned, setting the textbook on the bed next to him.
“Do you want to be alone?”
Tsukishima nodded. “Please.”
Akiteru hesitated before nodding, leaving the room. Tsukishima waited until he heard his brother go downstairs to sit up. He leant against the head of the bed and then flicked through the textbook to the definitions page.
Omegas… go through their heats at any age between 16 and 18, although rare cases have been found of omegas having their heat before and after this age set [see page 70].
Tsukishima flicked through to page 70, immediately scrunching his face up at the pictures on the page. Sighing heavily, he started skimming the page. His eyes finally picked up on pain between the legs and he settled to read it.
During their first heat, a male omega’s body begins to prepare to reproduce. This happens by a womb producing and pressing the stomach upwards into the body; this is normally extremely painful for an omega. The body needs to readjust to it’s new layout. To accompany the womb, an omega develops a new orifice, known simply as an omega entrance.
Although the body develops to support pregnancy, a pregnancy during a male omega’s first heat is usually considered to be fatal. The womb is not fully developed, and is not until an omega’s second heat. For it to support a child created during the first heat would be extremely damaging to the child. The parenting omega could suffer from serious medical issues, most common being internal bleeding, and the omega can die. The chances of a child surviving a first heat pregnancy are almost non-existent.
Tsukishima slammed the book shut, trying to prevent himself from crying.
His whole body was changing, getting ready to hold a child for an alpha he didn’t even know yet.
Chucking the text book aside, Tsukishima curled up, hugging his knees to his chest. Would his family let him meet his soulmate? Would they allow him the liberty to wait before mating? Or would they arrange an alpha for him; someone he wouldn’t know, someone he wouldn’t trust, nor care for.
Taking his glasses off, Tsukishima buried his face in his knees, letting his tears soak the fabric.
He didn’t want to be another omega shipped off to an alpha. He didn’t want to be somewhere he didn’t know; away from his family, with a group of people he should consider family.
Turning his head, Tsukishima stared at the grey of the sky, the sun beginning to set. A canvas of pale greys stared back at him and the tears started falling afresh.
“Whoever you are… wherever you are… please let me meet you soon...”
Notes:
Chapter 2.5 // an accompanying one shot can be found here: I've Got No Reason to Love You (But I Do).
Chapter 3: Dark of the Night, Light of the Dreams
Notes:
Chapter 2.5 // an accompanying one shot can be found here: I've Got No Reason to Love You (But I Do).
Chapter Text
The rest of the day blurred into the night and the next day, and before Tsukishima knew it, it was the third day of his heat. He woke up, sedatives making him even more exhausted than he usually would be. Sighing, he slowly sat up and stretched out. The pain that had been coursing around his body for the past few days had subsided. It was still there, but it didn’t seem like it would be crippling, like it had been the past few days.
Taking a breath, Tsukishima slowly got out of bed, shaking a little bit. He took his glasses from the bed head and slipped them on before he made his way downstairs. His legs shook, but he managed to get to the kitchen.
His Mother was making bento and Tsukishima blinked a little.
“Mom?”
She turned to smile and usher to sit down. “How are you feeling this morning, Kei?”
Tsukishima sat at the table, legs crossing underneath him. He crossed his arms on the wood, burying his face there. “I’m not in pain any more but I just feel so tired.”
“It’s the sedatives, but I don’t think you’ll need any more.”
Tsukishima looked up with a yawn, taking the glass of grey juice put in front of him. He took long gulps, sighing a little. He ran a hand through his hair, and closed his eyes.
“What time is it?”
“Close to noon, sweetheart.”
Tsukishima took another sip of the juice. It would be their lunch period now, and the group would be converging in the gym. The first years had a free period after this lunch; they’d be eating lunch, then practising with the second and third years, and then, usually, himself, Yamaguchi, Kageyama and Hinata would practice until there was fifteen minutes left of free period. They’d change quickly, rest, finish the rest of their bentos and then return to their classes.
At first, Tsukishima hadn’t realised how much time he had spent with the volleyball club, especially the first years. Yamaguchi, Hinata and Kageyama might wind him up constantly, but now, he realised that he missed them. He wished he was at school, batting the volleyball over the net, trying to figure out if Hinata and Kageyama were going to use their freak quick, or if it would be sent to Tanaka.
Tsukishima took another sip of his juice, finally realising it was cranberry. It was one of his favourites and he offered his Mother a weak smile as she walked across the room to give him a bento.
“You haven’t eaten properly the past few days; I want that whole bento gone.”
Tsukishima nodded and smiled weakly as she kissed his forehead, disappearing from the kitchen. He began to eat, only just realising how hungry he was. A knock on the door disturbed him, and Tsukishima glanced to the kitchen doorway, watching his Mother going to answer it. He turned his attention back to his food, only to freeze when he heard Yamaguchi’s voice drifting through to the kitchen.
He heard his Mother, he’s in the kitchen, dear, and Tsukishima looked up to blink at Yamaguchi. He had his head poked around the corner of the doorway, smiling a little as he tried to take his shoes off.
Eventually, Yamaguchi disappeared, and then reappeared, sock-clad feet making soft thumps on the floor.
“Can I sit?”
Tsukishima eyed him for a moment before nodding. He took another bite of his bento, all ability to speak seeming to lose him.
“I’m sorry for dropping by unannounced, I tried to call you.”
“My phone is upstairs.” Tsukishima stared hard at his bento before looking up at Yamaguchi. He must have looked worse than he thought, because his friend stared at him, almost in shock.
“How have you been?”
Tsukishima shrugged and took another bite of the bento in front of him, chewing in silence before swallowing. “It’s been… painful. But my Mother kept me sedated through most of it. Akiteru helped me out as well, of course.”
“That’s good; you seem to be doing alright.”
“I’m still in a bit of pain but it’s nothing that can’t be handled. Mother said it was probably best to take another day off just in case when I woke up this morning.”
Yamaguchi nodded a little and then stood quickly. Tsukishima veered backwards, startled and Yamaguchi gave an apologetic smile.
“I forgot something, wait.”
Tsukishima raised an eyebrow and finished his cranberry juice off. He took another bite of his bento and then pushed it away, deciding it would be rude to ignore Yamaguchi for the food, no matter how hungry he was.
Yamaguchi returned mere seconds later, holding a small carrier bag as he made his way back to the table. He sat down and then slid the bag over the table towards Tsukishima, smiling as he did so.
Tsukishima raised an eyebrow again, but he picked the bag up. Opening it, he was surprised to see the latest issue of Anarchy.
Anarchy had been his favourite manga since they were 14. When he had first started understanding the hierarchy, and begun to despise it, he had found the second issue of the manga tucked away in a book store. The two main characters, an alpha and omega, refused to mate, refused to wear the collars and cuffs. They lived away from the cities and fought with all their might to make love a choice. Both had met their soul mates, but refused to be with them. They had wanted to choose their own fate, and they had done it.
Tsukishima had related to one of the main characters, the omega. A young man of barely 25. He was named Nishikori Ichigo. He had been in high school when he started to hate the hierarchy, when he had started rebelling against the rules, the laws… against fate. Nine years later, he was happily married with the man he had chosen, and they had adopted children.
It had always been one of Tsukishima’s dreams – get married and adopt children; not have his own and be mated.
The issue had come out the first day of his heat, and Tsukishima had been planning to buy it on the way home from school on Friday.
“You… bought me it?”
Yamaguchi smiled and hugged his knees. “I was… talking to Sugawara-senpai; I asked him if there was anything I could do to help you during your heat and he mentioned that you get cooped up and things to read might be useful. I saw it on my way home from school on Tuesday and just. Well.”
Yamaguchi drifted off, blushing a little. Tsukishima smiled and pushed his glasses up his nose. “Thank you, this is… it’s really nice.”
“You’re my… my best friend, Tsukki.”
Tsukishima frowned at the hesitation before turning his attention back to the bag. He placed the manga on the table before standing and moving to tuck the carrier bag away in the cupboard for future use.
“I’m surprised you got permission to leave school.”
Yamaguchi went silent. Tsukishima glanced over his shoulder.
“You did get permission to come visit me, didn’t you?”
“I might have… forgotten to...”
“Yamaguchi!” Tsukishima frowned a little. “Go back to school. Don’t get in trouble because of me.”
“They’ll understand. Besides, I won’t be late.”
“They won’t understand. We’re not mates, Yamaguchi.”
Tsukishima saw the flash of pain in Yamaguchi’s eyes, but his friend stood before he could comment. Yamaguchi gave a weak smile.
Tsukishima looked away a moment, feeling a little guilty.
“I’m sorry, I just don’t want you to get into trouble. I really appreciate you coming, Yamaguchi. Thank you. It… It means a lot.”
Yamaguchi’s weak smile turned into a full one and he rubbed the back of his head. “Just take care of yourself, Tsukki. Oh and, hurry back. The volleyball club is suffering – but I never said that.”
Tsukishima smiled and laughed weakly, crossing his arms as he leant on the kitchen counter. “All I heard you say was to take care of myself.”
The two friends laughed and then Yamaguchi waved. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Course you will. You’re not getting rid of me this easily.”
Yamaguchi laughed again and then disappeared out of the kitchen doorway. Tsukishima listened to the shuffle of his friend putting his shoes on and getting his bag, and then the door opened and shut.
Sighing, Tsukishima ran a hand over his face and then settled down to finish his bento.
-xox-
Tsukishima was running, running through a long dark corridor, arm outstretched. He was chasing someone, he knew that much, but they were just out of eyesight, too far in front in the darkness to be seen. A few times, the blocker thought he felt fabric brush through his fingers – it felt like a volleyball shirt – but it was gone before he could close his fingers around it.
He yelled out, tried speeding up, but he couldn’t get to the speed he needed to.
A light shone ahead of Tsukishima, a naked bulb, hanging down from the ceiling and flickering.
They were both headed towards it; Tsukishima would be able to see the person in front of him. He’d be able to pinpoint who he was and maybe why he was chasing him.
They got closer, closer and then they were there.
A yell came from behind Tsukishima, and he saw Yamaguchi, standing under a similar light. He was crying, reaching out to Tsukishima, and looked as though he had been running.
Tsukishima watched as Yamaguchi fell to his knees, crying into his hands. He stopped running. He turned.
Tsukishima went to run towards Yamaguchi; he needed to run to his friend’s aid, but a hand grabbed his arm.
Tsukishima spun around again and was met with a mess of black hair. He saw two cat-like eyes, pupils sparkling darkly.
“Come and find me, Kei… Come and find me.”
“Who are you?! How do you know my name?!”
Before the answers could come, lights started flickering on over head, and the person in front of him was gone. Spinning around, Tsukishima found that Yamaguchi had also disappeared.
He was alone.
-xox-
Tsukishima woke with a yell. He shot upright, panting as he looked around his room. He was at his desk, Anarchy in front of him, bent apart and set down on the pages to save his place. His room was almost completely dark.
Tsukishima placed his elbows on his desk and rested his head in his hands, trying to calm himself down. The dream hadn’t been relatively scary, or disconcerting, but it had shaken him.
Who was the person he had been chasing? He didn’t look familiar to Tsukishima at all, yet he felt like he had known them his entire life. Why had Yamaguchi been crying? He looked like he had been running; had he been chasing Tsukishima?
The dream made no sense and it frustrated the teen.
The identity mark on Tsukishima’s wrist seemed to glow in the light, looking white on his skin rather than black. It twinged, almost feeling like a burn, and he rolled his eyes.
Sighing a little, Tsukishima rubbed his forehead as he grabbed his phone to check it. There were two texts, and a missed call from his brother.
Groaning a little bit, he opened the text from Daichi.
I know I said to take your time to come back to the club, and I still mean that. I wanted to let you know that we have a practice match with Nekomane this weekend. If you want to play in it, Tsukishima, let me know. If you do, I would rather you do as much practice as you feel you can – but there is absolutely no pressure to come back, alright? Just let me know.
Tsukishima blinked a little, reading the text a few times over. Glancing at the clock on the top of his screen, he decided ten thirty-eight at night wasn’t too late to text back; besides, Sugawara might still be on heat.
The practice match definitely sounds like something I want to do. Thank you for informing me. I’ll be back in club tomorrow, as usual.
Tsukishima rubbed his face a little before opening the text from Yamaguchi.
I wanted to apologise again for coming around so unannounced earlier.
Tsukishima dropped his phone, too tired to try and think about social conversations. Club conversations he could do, but right now, he just wanted to sleep.
Standing, he quickly changed into his pyjamas, put his phone on charge and set his alarm clock.
As the pale and dark greys drifted into black, Tsukishima prayed for a dreamless sleep.
Chapter 4: Meeting
Notes:
I was gonna save this for tomorrow but I can write another chapter for after chapter 5; you've all been so good to me with comments so I feel like spoiling you.
Thank you all for such kind words, it really helps an author's muse <3
Chapter Text
School had changed.
As Tsukishima walked down the hallways, he could feel eyes on him. He could sense the un-mated alphas around him sizing him up, wondering if he would be a good omega. He scowled at all of them, twisting his cuff around his wrist. He didn’t need to wear it any more, but he would still deny his omega status for as long as he could.
Tsukishima sighed a little as he avoided as many people as possible, making his way to the gymnasium. He didn’t particularly want to be here as it was, and the people watching him made him feel like prey to a lion.
The urge to scream at third years who got too close to him was something Tsukishima had to fight all day. The first year alphas who peered at him during class received dirty looks. The second years that sneered at him as he passed in the corridor, sniggering at the alpha cuff on his wrist almost had Tsukishima’s hand swinging towards them.
The entire day grated on Tsukishima’s nerves and he was grateful to finally be able to get to the locker room. He hated being late, but he had to take a different route to avoid a group of third year alphas who seemed to follow him around everywhere he went. Changing into his kit was a relief; it was a sense of normality. He hesitated before he shut his locker before taking the cuff off and placing it inside on top of his clothes.
Shutting his locker, Tsukishima made his way to the gym, only to freeze.
“Tsukishima said he would be coming to practice today. I don’t want anyone to treat him differently. I know that it’s going to take a while to get used to, but it needs to happen as soon as possible. You all know how Tsukki views the hierarchy, how much he despises it; treating him differently because his scent has changed is not going to help him. School must be alien to him right now; I’m sure there are a few of you that have felt that.”
There was a mumble of agreement and Tsukishima stood closer to the door to listen to Daichi.
“Lets give him some normality with volleyball. The last thing we want is him to feel uncomfortable here.”
There was a chorus of yes and understood and Tsukishima waited until the sound of volleyball shoes squeaking on wood reached his ears before he opened the door and walked in.
Almost immediately, Tsukishima saw Kageyama’s eyes flicker towards him before they focused on tossing the ball for Azumane. Azumane avoided looking at him. Nishinoya gave him a weary look before focusing on returning the ball Azumane had spiked. Tanaka glanced Tsukishima up and down and then started running up to the net for his own toss.
The only normality in the room was Hinata’s gleeful wave; Yamaguchi and Sugawara waving at him with smiles on their faces.
Tsukishima sighed a little before returning the smiles and waves before making his way to get in line for a spike.
Daichi gave him a nod as he walked by, as did Ukai, and Tsukishima returned them.
“When you finish the warm up, choose your teams. We’re going to have a practice match.” Ukai’s voice cut through the air and Tsukishima was grateful. A match would keep everyone busy.
-xox-
“Looks like red wins. Good effort everyone, I think we’re in good shape for tomorrow.”
Yamaguchi was pressing down on Tsukishima’s back, helping him stretch down to the floor. Tsukishima was watching Ukai as he spoke, listening to every word before he sat up. When Ukai stopped, there was no general chatter amongst the group.
Tsukishima could feel eyes on him, and switched positions to stretch his legs out.
“If this is your ideas of normality, then you might need a reality check.”
Everyone seemed to jump at Tsukishima’s words and he stood, stretching his arms across his chest.
“I don’t care how you act around me, I don’t.” He shrugged a little and sighed. “As long as it doesn’t affect any matches, it’s fine. Just don’t expect me to jump into bed with any of you.”
Before anyone could say anything, Tsukishima left the gym, changing before clean up.
When Tsukishima was alone, he let his shoulders sag, and he let the pain of being different finally hit him. He forced himself back together and returned to help them with cleaning up, leaving the moment it was done.
He didn’t want to walk with the team. He didn’t want to walk with Yamaguchi. He didn’t want to see anyone.
Walking alone late wasn’t the best idea, but Tsukishima just didn’t care. He didn’t want to deal with anyone or with anything. He wanted peace; he wanted to get home.
The house was empty when Tsukishima got in; good. He headed straight upstairs, shed his uniform and dropped it in the wash basket.
Running the shower, he allowed himself to curl up under the hot stream of water. He couldn’t hold it in any more. The tears began to flow before he could stop them and he buried his face in his knees, sobbing softly.
He never wanted this. He never wanted to be different. He never wanted to be at the bottom of the hierarchy, to be seen as a prize to be won – or stolen.
Tsukishima felt betrayed.
Everyone had thought he was an alpha growing up. People looked to him, a shining example of everything an alpha should be. Other supposed alphas wanted to be him, supposed betas would look to him for advice on dating their omegas, and supposed omegas would be shy around him, awkward.
The hierarchy had betrayed him and he hated it. He hated the world, he hated the laws, he hated the basic genetics that had come to take control of humans.
Tsukishima stayed in the shower until he sobbed himself dry.
Eventually, he managed to stand and wash himself fully. He shampooed and conditioned his hair. He turned the shower off and dried off.
Tsukishima changed into his pyjamas and then settled on his bed. The parental consent form for the match tomorrow sat on his desk, unsigned. His Mother had said it wasn’t a good idea, that Tsukishima should take the weekend at home.
Something inside him was telling him to get it signed, that he had to go to this practice match. If he didn’t, things wouldn’t be right.
Moving to sit at his desk, Tsukishima hesitated, and the faked his Mother’s signature. He folded the paper once and then tucked it neatly into his kit bag.
Setting his alarm, Tsukishima set his phone on air plane mode, set his alarm clock and then settled down to fall asleep, before his brother and mother returned home to make dinner.
-xox-
The bullet train had been a living hell for Tsukishima. He’d hated every second of it. Alphas leered at him as they passed where the club were sitting and they had to eventually shift around so that Tsukishima was pressed against the window, Azumane beside him, keeping anyone from getting close to him.
Tsukishima could have done with Nishinoya’s glares the entire journey.
To be free of the confines of the metal made him a little less claustrophobic and he walked alongside Yamaguchi.
Ukai had said that the walk to Nekoma wasn’t too long from the train station; it would count towards their warm up and they were to walk in pairs and keep another pair in sight as they did.
Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were currently following Azumane and Nishinoya. Tsukishima hadn’t spoken. Yamaguchi hadn’t pressed anything he asked.
“Are you still seeing in grey and black?”
Tsukishima was ripped from his thoughts and glanced up at Yamaguchi. “Huh?”
“Are you still seeing in monochrome?”
Tsukishima nodded once and then watched Nishinoya laugh and scale Azumane’s back for a piggy back ride.
“R-Really?”
“Yes, Yamaguchi, I am still seeing monochrome.” He turned to watch the pinch server, staring at the floor with wide eyes. Tsukishima might have said he looked like he was going to cry.
“Ever since we were 15, you keep asking me if I’m still seeing in monochrome. Still. The way you phrase it with that makes it sound like I should be seeing colours by now. What’s up with you?”
“It’s just… general conversation!”
Tsukishima snorted and pushed his glasses up his nose as he dodged around a child, running after their mother.
“There’s something up with you.”
“There’s nothing up with me, Tsukki!”
“Do you still see in monochrome?”
Yamaguchi’s pace faltered for a second and he looked away. “N-No.”
Tsukishima stopped walking and stared at him. “You see colour?”
Yamaguchi nodded, and opened his mouth to reply before Ukai yelled at them to keep up. Both teens jumped and immediately jogged to catch up to the group that had stopped. They blushed and offered apologies before they all started walking again.
Their conversation stayed silent until they reached the ground of Nekoma.
“When did you start seeing colour?”
Tsukishima stared straight ahead, unable to stop the jealously inside of him at the knowledge of his best friend seeing colour. He also found he was quite hurt at only just being told.
“Karasuno High School!”
A booming voice greeted the team and Yamaguchi never replied. Tsukishima moved to stand next to Daichi, glancing around the team.
A mess of black hair caught his eye, and a pair or cat-like eyes, and before Tsukishima could pinpoint the feeling of familiarity, colour blossomed all over his vision.
Chapter 5: Mess Ups and Toss Ups
Notes:
Where's that meme, it's time to STOP because honestly I need to stop.
Have another little treat because you're all so down to read this I can't help but post again today.
DEFINITELY no more updates from today.
PLEASE NOTE: I have since been told that using the accents above vowels is actually grammatically incorrect in written Japanese. Since this chapter was 2000 words, I just didn't have it in me to actually correct all the uses of Tetsuro, but as of chapter 6, this error won't come up again. Apologies for that.
Chapter 5.5 can be found: All I See is Grey
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Tetsurō Kuroo was considered to be a good example of an alpha.
He was strong and his body showed that – he could protect an alpha.
He was able to handle any situation given to him – he got his team through everything.
He was stable within the hierarchy – he didn’t allow omega scents to distract him from what he was doing.
But right now, Tetsurō didn’t know what to do.
There was a panic in his head, a loud one, and it wasn’t just him panicking.
He’d locked onto a pair of eyes from the Karasuno volleyball team, just as their eyes had landed on him, and suddenly, colour had blossomed across his vision.
For the first time, Tetsurō was seeing a volleyball court in all it’s glory. The varnished, bright brown floors; the blue and yellow mix of the ball, the deep red of the Nekomane uniform… but all he could focus on was a pair of honey brown eyes staring at him.
Shock was evident in them, and Tetsurō wondered if that’s what his eyes looked like in that moment.
Silence had fallen around the gym; everyone could sense what had just happened. Tetsurō didn’t care. He didn’t turn to look at anyone, not even Kenma, who was nudging him gently. His right wrist was burning, white hot pain that made him clench and unclench his fist. He pressed his wrist against his thigh, trying to hide the glow.
Something inside of Tetsurō was screaming at him to introduce himself to the blond beauty that stood before him. He opened his mouth, planning to smile and say hello when “Lanky's shaking. Is he alright?”
The beauty’s face twisted into a snarl and then before anyone could do anything, he turned around and stormed out the gym. His shaking hand curled into a fist and then he was gone from sight. There was a murmur in the Karasuno team and then someone with silver hair – Tetsurō could smell he was an omega from where he stood – ran after him.
Tetsurō scanned the team that remained and rubbed the back of his head. “I’m sorry I don’t know where that came from.” He looked away a moment before back at Karasuno.
All Tetsurō could focus on was the colour rushing around everywhere; it was so bright compared to normal, his eyes stung.
Karasuno had two players who Tetsurō would say were shrimps. One had bright orange hair; brown eyes stared back at him and the Orange Shrimp moved to stand closer to someone else on the team. He had dark blue hair, and an arm wrapped around Orange Shrimp’s waist.
An alpha omega couple then.
The other shrimp had light brown hair, styled upwards in… some sort of hair do. His fringe had a differentiating group of hair that was dirty blond, more than likely bleached. Pointy Haired Shrimp stood closer to one of the taller men on the team – Tetsurō pegged him as the ace – and he raised an eyebrow. The taller one was definitely an alpha, but Pointy Haired Shrimp did not smell like an omega.
Was this the first alpha beta couple in 70 years that Tetsurō had heard so much about in the news?
There was another beta on the team, and Tetsurō found him with ease. He was on the small side, with mousy brown hair. His head was pointed downwards, and Tetsurō thought he saw a tear fall to the floor before he turned and ran out the gym.
A few of the team turned around and someone ran after him.
“Welcome to Nekoma, I guess.” Tetsurō rubbed the back of his head again and tried to focus on the mess in his head.
He could hear Lanky in his head; colour Suga, colour, he’s so rude, Lanky of all things – and he closed his eyes. He could try reaching out to him, try talking in his head, but he could feel the panic of his soulmate echoing around the back of his mind already.
Tetsurō hesitated before moving to leave the gym.
“Kenma’s in charge.”
Groans followed him and Tetsurō nodded at two alphas on the Karasuno team as he passed them – he guessed that they were the coach and the captain from the stances of importance, and he disappeared from the gym.
-xox-
It took Tetsurō a while, but he finally found Lanky, sat on a bench with Silver Hair.
“Lank- I mean, uh, I wanted to apologise.”
The conversation between the two players stopped and Lanky turned around to stare at him. Silver Hair – this must be Suga – stood awkwardly, glancing between the two of them.
“Go, Suga-chan, I’ll be alright.”
Suga-chan bowed to Tetsurō and then rushed off to the gym entrance.
Tetsurō waited for his footsteps to disappear before he moved to sit on the bench. He made sure his back faced the way Lanky’s faced, his legs folded over the opposite side.
“Stop calling me Lanky in your head.”
Tetsurō jumped a little. “What’s your name?”
The beauty hesitated. “Tsukishima. Tsukishima Kei.”
“Kei.” It was whispered on an exhalation and Tetsurō looked down at the ground. Such a beautiful man surely deserved such a beautiful name.
“Don’t call me Kei, you don’t know me. It’s Tsukishima.”
Tetsurō raised an eyebrow as he looked up at Tsukishima, but he nodded.
“Tetsurō Kuroo, at your service.”
Tsukishima nodded, but wouldn’t look at Tetsurō.
“Hey, I’m… sorry about calling you Lanky. I was trying to say hi but… I don’t know where it came from.”
“Mm.” Tsukishima didn’t say anything, but stared at the ground. Tetsurō watched his fingers picking at some loose paint on the bench.
Hesitating for a moment, Tetsurō reached out, gently wrapping his fingers around Tsukishima’s picking fingers.
Almost immediately, warmth flowed through him, catching him by surprise. Both teens yanked their hands way, breathing heavily as they stared at each other.
“Why don’t… why don’t we head back to the gym? I’m sure the match will be starting soon.”
Tsukishima nodded and they both made their way back, neither teen speaking to the other.
-xox-
Tsukishima was starting to get pissed off.
Every spike he had tried to make had been blocked by this Tetsurō Kuroo, every time he tried to act as a decoy for Hinata, Tetsurō was there to block Hinata. He needed to get out of Tsukishima’s head before Tsukishima kicked him out.
He glanced around and decided to make a run to the net.
“Kageyama!”
He jumped, and the ball was there. Tsukishima saw Tetsurō in front of him, and offered the man a smirk. He made as if to spike the ball, only to tap it with his fingers and it to arch over the blockers hands.
“He feinted!”
Tsukishima smirked as he landed, shooting Tetsurō a look.
“Alright I get it, Lanky.”
Tsukishima’s smirk immediately became a scowl again and he moved to the back of the court to take his serve. He stared directly at Tetsurō, stood at the back of the court to receive with the libero, and he couldn’t help himself.
The whistle blew and he threw the ball up in the air. Dashing to the line, he jumped and slammed the ball fairly with his hand. It flew over the net and Tsukishima watched with a smirk as it almost hit Tetsurō squarely in the face.
The teen barely managed to move out the way, and he turned his head to watch the ball land in. Karasuno cheered and Tsukishima was patted on the back again.
“I said I got it, Tsukishima.”
“I don’t know what you mean, Tetsurō; I just hit the ball at the wrong angle. Sorry about that.”
Tsukishima moved off the court, Nishinoya high fiving him as he rushed onto the pitch to get into the game. Tanaka was grinning as Tsukishima, giving him a thumbs up as he giggled behind his other hand.
Tsukishima smiled.
Well, he guessed it wasn’t all bad.
-xox-
Karasuno had helped Nekoma clean their court after they finally finished their practice matches, Hinata demanding another and another until both teams were exhausted.
Tsukishima sucked on his water bottle, trying to calm himself down. He was panting too heavily, and his skin felt hot to the touch – maybe his Mother had been right.
“Tsukishima...”
The teen jumped at a voice close to his ear and stood up tall, glaring down the three centimetres he had on Tetsurō.
“What?”
“I wanted to apologise. I wasn’t meaning to see in your head during the game. I’m sure you get how it is, you hear it and reflexively go to block. Heck, you did it a few times yourself.”
Tsukishima shrugged. “I did it twice, not every play.”
Tetsurō chuckled and leaned on the wall, watching Karasuno piling their bags into the coach that Nekoma was lending them. A faculty member would drive them there so they could catch the next bullet train back to Miyagi.
“Miaygi. I hear it’s nice.”
“Are you trying to make small talk when we have about ten minutes to discuss the biggest thing possible in our lives happening four hours ago?”
Tsukishima turned to face Tetsurō, frowning.
“Of all the people 7 billion people in the world, my soul mate has to be some rude, unkind… city boy.”
Tsukishima was all too aware of Tanaka glaring at him – after all, Tsukishima always teased Tanaka for using the term.
“City boy?”
Tsukishima turned away. “Forget it.”
A hand closed around his wrist, and the warmth coursed around Tsukishima’s body again. He wanted to stop it, to get away from the warmth; his skin was heating up again, his stomach aching as the alpha pulled him in close.
Tsukishima found himself trapped in a hug, strong arms wrapped around his back.
Hesitating, Tsukishima wrapped his arms around Tetsurō, squeezing tightly. This felt… comfortable. Right. Safe. Closing his eyes, Tsukishima decided he could definitely lose a few hours here, pressed against Tetsurō’s chest.
“I know that we don’t have much time, so I’ll make it simple. Hi, I’m Tetsurō Kuroo and I think you might be my soul mate.”
Tsukishima’s eyes widened as a pair of lips pressed gently against his forehead, and his identity mark burned hot on his skin again.
“Hi… I’m… I’m Tsukishima Kei and I… I also think you might be my soul mate.”
“Tsukishima, a strong name, it suits you. Also, if I might say Kei… a beautiful name for such a beautiful omega.”
Tsukishima stood back immediately, glaring. Tetsurō’s hands flew into the air as though he were surrendering. “What did I do wrong?”
“I’m not just an omega.”
“I know that; got it, don’t call you an omega. Understood.”
Tsukishima hesitated a moment. Tetsurō’s hand reached out to him.
Glancing back at the coach, Daichi signalled two minutes until they had to leave and he turned back to Tetsurō.
Tsukishima waved his hand down and then offered Tetsurō his mobile phone. “What’s your number? We have to catch the bullet train.”
Tetsurō gave a weak smile, and took the phone, dialling his number.
“Now we’ve got each other’s, I’ll text you later on.”
Tsukishima nodded and turned, about to head back to his team when Tetsurō’s hand grabbed his wrist again.
“Wait, just one more second.”
Tsukishima turned to face Tetsurō once more, frowning. “Tetsurō, I have to go.”
“Can I… May I kiss you? I know we just met but… we’re soul mates, the whole meant-to-be thing and I was just… You never know if you don’t ask.”
Tsukishima wanted to say no. He didn’t particularly want to kiss Tetsurō; they’d only just met for one thing. At the same time, Tsukishima wanted to say yes. Tetsurō made him feel safe, he liked the feeling of being near him.
He hesitated and then nodded, tentative.
Tetsurō took a step close, smiling softly. They leaned in and their lips pressed gently together. Tsukishima was grateful for the pressure exerted on his lips; it wasn’t too much. It wasn’t too soft.
Tsukishima matched the pressure and let his body move closer to Tetsurō before he pulled away.
Every fibre of his body felt alive and he panted a second before he turned, running to the coach.
“Tsukishima!”
Tsukishima didn’t turn around. He found the first seat he could and collapsed into it, wanting nothing more to be out of Tokyo and in Miyagi.
Notes:
Chapter 5.5 can be found: All I See is Grey
Chapter 6: Annoyance
Notes:
Soooo as someone pointed out, they found it slightly weird that Tsukishima was calling Kuroo Tetusrou after telling Kuroo not to call him Kei - and that was my mistake. I thought Kuroo was his personal name. My Bad! After this chapter, his name will go to Kuroo; my utter apologies (I've only just started season 2, I'm still getting there with names, so sorry!)
Italics are Kuroo speaking via the soul mate bond; italics and underlined are Tsukishima
Chapter 5.5 can be found: All I See is Grey
Chapter Text
The ride home didn’t seem to take too long, and it wasn’t long until Tsukishima was walking away from the train station. He wasn’t comfortable around the team. Sugawara had been discreetly trying to get Tsukishima to talk to him; Yamaguchi wouldn’t look at him; Hinata was being obnoxiously loud and had given the blocker a headache.
Was the headache from Hinata, or from the current mess of a soul mate bond in Tsukishima’s head?
He didn’t know… All he knew was Tetsurou thought really loudly and he wanted to learn mental walls as quickly as possible. Tsukishima had sat through the thoughts of Tetsurou telling his parents that he had met his soul mate; he had listened to his parents asking him questions. Tetsurou had texted him questions they were asking, hoping to relay the replies back to his parents, but Tsukishima had put his phone on air plane mode. He’d sat with his headphones on, watching the sunset – oh how they sunset had taken his breath away.
Delicate lilacs, pale pinks, deep blues all blended together, creating a canvas of beauty that Tsukishima had never seen before. The sky looked like it had been painted by an artist, the clouds little dots of canvas that hadn’t been covered. Tsukishima had smiled one of his rare smiles, and stared. He kept watching it until the sky had gone dark blue, inky. As the song changed, he heard Hinata excitedly exclaim how the sky was the same colour as Kageyama’s hair. A tired, and previously almost asleep Kageyama nudged Hinata, his eyes barely open, and Tsukishima watched the two cuddle up together and fall asleep, huddled under Kageyama’s coat.
The memory stuck with Tsukishima as he walked through the dark streets. Would that be him and Tetsurou now? What would his Mother say when he told her?
Tsukishima’s eyes widened as he remembered his Mother. She had explicitly told him he wasn’t to go to the practice match and here he was, walking home at almost 11pm without her knowledge. She must be worried out of her wits; Akiteru was probably on the streets looking for him.
Breaking into a run, Tsukishima ran the last ten minutes, making it home in six. He rushed inside and then paused. All the lights were off, and there was no sound to be heard from the house. Quietly, Tsukishima slipped his shoes off, leaving them by the door, before he made his way to the stairs.
He had one sock-clad foot on the bottom step, and was about to pull himself up, when the living room light clicked on.
Jumping, Tsukishima turned his head to stare at his Mother. Akiteru was stood by her side, arms crossed, frowning.
Tsukishima stared at them, finally noting what they truly looked like.
Akiteru shared his hair colour; their Mother’s slightly browner in colour. Their eyes were almost the exact same shade. Akiteru was more tanned than Tsukishima was, his Mother, pale.
“Where have you been, Kei?!” Akiteru stepped forward, obviously taking charge from their Mother – whose red eyes betrayed that she’d been crying.
“I was in Tokyo, at a practice match.”
“Mom didn’t sign the parental consent form, Kei, don’t lie to me!”
“I signed it myself. I faked her signature.” Tsukishima sighed and stepped down off the stairs to face his brother properly. “I’d like to get a shower and go to bed, I’ve had a long day.”
“How long was yours? Mom was beside herself! She thought you’d run away!”
“I met my soul mate.”
Silence fell around the room, and Tsukishima looked away. Guilt ate in his stomach, remembering the story of his brother’s soul mate and of his Father, but it couldn’t be helped. He was aware of his Mother stepping forward, shaking a little.
“You met your soul mate? Is she a nice young lady?”
“It’s a he. He’s a guy.” Tsukishima took a breath and looked his Mother directly in the eyes. “His name is Kuroo Tetsurou. He’s a third year, the captain of the Nekoma volleyball team, and he’s a blocker. He… seems nice, but he’s loud. I’ve had a headache since I laid eyes on him.”
“An alpha?”
“Of course, Mother. Did you think that fate might bond me with another omega?”
Tsukishima felt guilty as his Mother took a step back, blinking a little. Tsukishima looked away. “I’m sorry I just… I want to go to bed. Can we discuss this in the morning?”
There was a heavy silence, before his Mother nodded. Tsukishima fled upstairs before he could be bombarded with more questions.
Finally managing to escape for a shower, Tsukishima let himself get lost under the water jet.
-xox-
Tsukishima was exhausted. All he wanted to do was sleep, but Tetsurou was not making it an easy task. He was still awake, watching some sort of sports game on the television and Tsukishima had given up. The loud shouts in his head were enough to prevent sleep, until Tetsurou himself went to sleep.
Instead, he was tapping softly at his laptop, writing a review of the latest issue of Anarchy for his followers on Good Reads.
I didn’t peg you as a bookworm.
What have I told you about being in my head? Go back to your game of football, Kuroo.
Oh, Kuroo? Did I strike a nerve?
Tsukishima rolled his eyes, but refused to reply to him. He wasn’t going to give Tetsurou the pleasure of annoying him, even if he was preventing sleep. Instead, he focused loudly on the words he was writing, coming close to finishing the para-
A romantic manga? You read romance?
Will you just shut up? You’re annoying as hell and you’re preventing me from sleeping at this point. I would like just an hour without your voice yelling in my head – no, not even an hour, five minutes.
Tsukishima froze when his head went silent, his fingers hesitating over the keyboard. He raised an eyebrow, wondering if Tetsurou had actually gone silent before shaking it off. He closed the paragraph of his review off, and then picked Anarchy up, flicking through it to make sure he hadn’t missed anything out.
Five minutes is up.
Kuroo! I’m trying to do something can you please just stop?
Look, I’m sorry okay? Truth is… I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m trying to figure this out as much as you’re trying to ignore it. The fact is, we’re soul mates; I’m an alpha and you’re not just an omega.
Tsukishima looked out the window at Tetsurou’s words.
My parents want to meet you, Kei-chan. They want to see you and they want to meet you. They want to make plans-
For me to be shipped off to Tokyo, be mated with you and pretend to live happily under their roof, not knowing them, and miles away from my own family. I need to deal with this and I can’t do that with you badgering me constantly. I’ll reply to your questions tomorrow, but for now, can you just leave me alone?
No reply came and Tsukishima froze, before turning back to the manga in front of him.
Posting this review and then going to sleep sounded like a good idea.
////
Tetsurou lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He hadn’t expected the conversation with Tsukishima to go well, but that had just gone horrendously. It had been a train wreck. Hesitantly, Tetsurou checked in on Tsukishima.
He was calm, silent. He must have fallen asleep.
Sweet dreams, Kei.
Laying in the darkness, Tetsurou rolled over to focus his gaze on the wall. He wanted to know more about Tsukishima. He wanted to learn what he could about him, to know him so he could be there for him.
Hesitating, Tetsurou remembered the touches, the warmth that had flown through them. Tsukishima probably didn’t know it yet, but they had been memory transfers. Fragments of their past that fate decided they needed to know.
Would it be so wrong to look through them?
Hesitating just one more time, Tetsurou sighed and let his mind shift through them.
Closing his eyes, Tetsurou let the memory take him over.
xx
Tsukishima was sitting on the floor at elementary school, his nose in a book. Kids ran by him, but no one seemed to take any notice of the too tall boy, tucked away into a corner. He glanced up occasionally, but he didn’t make any effort to talk.
A young boy with mousy brown hair slowly made his way over, shyly picking at his hands.
“Hi, I’m Y-Yamaguchi!”
The young Tsukishima flicked his eyes up to observe the boy before they went back down to the book he was reading.
There was a pulse of light, and Tetsurou looked around confused, before the memories faded back into view.
“I’m telling you, Yamaguchi, I still see in monochrome!” Tsukishima’s voice cut through the previous silence, annoyance obvious. “Why are you so obsessed with whether I can see in colour or not? You’ve asked me every day for three weeks! Just chill out, when I see in colour, I’ll tell you. It’s not like you see in colour either.”
Yamaguchi turned away from Tsukishima, and focused on eating the bento in his hand.
“It’s not like I want to see in colour anyway. All that means is that you belong to another human. How is that right?”
“It’s fate, Tsukki!”
“It’s wrong.”
The conversation came to freeze frame, only for it to fast forward. Tetsurou watched everyone moving too quickly before it finally all came to a stop.
A teacher was making her way to Tsukishima, who noticed her coming. His fists clenched but she held her hands up. “Tsukishima, the principal needs you in his office. Now.”
A confused Tsukishima frowned, but followed.
The memory sparked, jumped ahead.
Tsukishima was staring at the principal, shock written on his face. “There’s been an accident; did you hear me, Tsukishima?”
Jump.
Tsukishima running home, tears pouring down his face.
Jump.
Tsukishima, fifteen years old, and in a bed with another young boy. From their resemblance, they must have been brothers. They were sobbing into each other, hands clinging for comfort.
xx
Tetsurou pulled himself out the memory, panting as he did so. He lay there, staring at the wall again, thinking over what he had watched.
First of all, Yamaguchi seemed to be a problem. Tetsurou thought back to the happiness in his eyes when he asked Tsukishima if he could see in colour; the confusion and guilt when Tsukishima had said it’s not like you see in colour. Had Yamaguchi seen colour because of Tsukishima at a younger age?
Tetsurou growled into the darkness of his room. He was on edge; Yamaguchi, an un-mated beta, staying near his omega- Tetsurou forced himself to stop. Tsukishima hated that phrasing, hated being called an omega.
Taking a few breaths to calm himself, Tetsurou thought back on the other words. Tsukishima, there’s been an accident. He wondered what the accident could have been, and then shook his head. Tsukishima would tell him when the time was right.
Checking the clock, Tetsurou groaned to see it was almost 3am, and he’d been tossing and turning most of the night after the game had finished – trust him to get addicted to a foreign sports team.
He ran a hand through his hair before settling down to sleep.
Tsukishima… Kei-chan… I hope you’re alright.
Chapter 7: Link
Notes:
Heads up! I totally forgot to post this in between chapters five and six, but there is a chapter 5.5 that went up earlier today! You can read here: All I See is Grey
I am so sorry this chapter took so long to come out; I've been ill and trying to get coursework done all day and things have been a little hectic, but here you are!
Chapter Text
Monday came quickly for Kuroo.
He slept in, rushed out the house barely fully dressed, ran back for his volleyball kit, and by the time he got school, he was exhausted. Somehow, Kuroo managed to get to classes, eat his bento and then get to the gym to practice all on autopilot.
He tried checking in with Tsukishima once or twice (or maybe seven times), but all his texts went unanswered, and his gentle little Tsukishima? Are you alright? were met with I thought I told you to leave me alone and eventually Kuroo gave up.
Stepping into the volleyball court, Kuroo felt adrenaline rush around his body and he perked up. He nodded at his team members, some of them there already; some classes must have been let out a little earlier than usual.
Disappearing to change, Kuroo wasn’t surprised to find Kozume sitting in the locker room, tapping on his PSP.
“You waiting for me now?”
“I wanted to check in on you. I saw you around today and you looked pretty distracted.”
Kuroo clenched his jaw, taking his uniform shirt off to pull on his training one. “Been a rough few days.”
“Tsukishima not taking too kindly to everything?”
“He ignores me at every possible turn. I try to talk to him, I try as hard as I can, but he just shoves me out.” Kuroo sighed and rested his head on the cold metal of the lockers, closing his eyes. He reaches out again; focusing hard.
He could feel Tsukishima; he was tired, anxious. Kuroo frowned and knew if he pushed Tsukishima again, his anxiety would spike. He wished he could hug Tsukishima, let him know that whatever was making him anxious would eventually stop, but he withdrew and turned to face Kozume.
“I don’t know what to do. Everything I do he just throws back at me.”
“Did you try and talk to him when you were drunk?”
Kuroo glanced away. “Maybe.”
“There’s your answer, big guy.”
Kuroo spun around to stare at Kozume, who had a smile on his face. “Relax, relax; I’m kidding around with you Tetsurou.”
Kuroo hesitated a moment before he chuckled. “You’re right. I can be a bit full on when drinking.”
“Tsukishima’s probably just scared. This all happened so quickly, and I’m not going to sugar coat. You’re really annoying when you cling to someone.”
Kuroo jabbed him with an elbow, causing Kozume to die in whichever game he was playing. Kozume glared at him before turning to look up at Kuroo as he sat down, picking at his shirt.
“He needs time, Tetsurou. This is a brand new thing for Tsukishima, and it’s a brand new thing for you too. You’re an alpha, of course you’re handling it better; although because you’re an alpha, you’re handling it worse, too. You need to be with him, you have the urge to mate with him. You want to hold Tsukishima close, protect him from the world, and at the same time, he knows he can protect himself and he’s telling himself he doesn’t need to. Give him time, and let him come to you.”
Kuroo blinked at Kozume. “When did you get so wise about soul mates and the hierarchy, omega meat.”
Kuroo nudged him with a smile and then stood to change into his shorts.
Kozume smiled and blushed a little. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
Kuroo froze and spun around to stare at Kozume. “Did you find your soulmate?!”
Kozume blushed darker. “I found him ages ago.”
“Why didn’t you tell me Kenma? That’s amazing.”
“Hm. Preoccupied, I guess.”
Kuroo smiled softly at Kozume and nudged his arm before changing into his shorts, instead of just standing there holding them.
“Thanks… C’mon let’s get to practice.”
Kozume got up with a smile and slipped his PSP into his locker before following Kuroo to the court.
-xox-
Tsukishima watched Yamaguchi run for the ball, only to miss it. He landed on the floor in a heap and Tsukishima gritted his teeth. Their rally had lasted for nearly four minutes and now Yamaguchi missed an easy shot to return.
“What the hell was that?”
Yamaguchi glared up at him. “I miscalculated.”
“You can return way better than that, you don’t miscalculate.”
“Shut up, Tsukishima.”
Tsukishima took a step back, blinking a little as he stared at Yamaguchi. The pinch server stood and brushed himself off, moving to go to the locker room.
“Yamaguchi, where are you going?”
“I’ve had enough. I’m going home.”
Tsukishima grit his teeth and stared after him. Something was telling him not to push his luck, but no one said anything. They were all glancing between Yamaguchi and Tsukishima. The blocker clenched his fists.
“One miss receive and you’re giving up?”
Yamaguchi spun around, glaring. “I GAVE UP ON SATURDAY.”
Tsukishima stepped back, shocked by Yamaguchi’s outburst. Before he could say anything, Yamaguchi had tears slipping down his face.
“You saw colour.” Yamaguchi slumped where he stood, looking away. “You saw colour, Tsukki.”
“What does that matter?” Tsukishima could see Sugawara signalling him to stop, but frankly, Tsukishima was too pissed off with everyone acting differently around him. “You told me on Saturday that you saw colour so what the hell does it matter if I started seeing it?”
“Because you weren’t supposed to see it when looking at Kuroo.”
Tsukishima frowned and crossed his arms. His skin prickled and he he felt a defensive flare climb up his spine. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Sugawara stood forward. “Maybe it’s better if you two talk about this in private.”
Tsukishima cast him a glance and rolled his shoulders before looking back at Yamaguchi. He tried to guess what the other wanted to do; he wasn’t moving and his tear-filled eyes were still staring straight at Tsukishima.
“When we were 15 and you called me your best friend, when you finally let me in properly… I saw colour.”
Tsukishima stared, blinking weakly. “W-What?”
“When you and Kuroo started seeing in colour, my vision went back in grey. That’s what it was supposed to mean.” Yamaguchi turned away. “Now if I can be excused, I want to go home.”
No one stopped Yamaguchi as he left to change. Silence hung around the gymnasium and Tsukishima stared at the ground in shock.
“Guys lets… lets carry on with practice, alright? Come on.” Daichi started running across the court, and the sound snapped Tsukishima out of his thoughts.
As he stepped back towards the court, he could have sworn he felt a hug at the back of his mind.
-xox-
Kuroo was half asleep at his desk, an assignment in front of him when his phone rang. The shrill ring tone cut straight through him and he groaned, picking it up. Jabbing at the answer call button, he held the phone to his ear, trying not to yawn.
“Hello?”
“K-Kuroo?”
Kuroo froze before he shot upright, almost falling over his desk in his effort to walk and get oxygen in his lungs.
“Ke- Tsukishima, hey.” Kuroo frowned; the teen sounded like he had been crying. “Hey, are you alright?”
“Today’s been… stressful, to say the least.” The reply was a mumble, and Kuroo almost missed it. “I… I was hoping to talk to someone and you seem like you get the whole soul mate stuff and the hierarchy.”
“You can talk to me about anything, Tsukishima.”
Silence followed him and Kuroo thought the other might have hung up before Tsukishima cleared his throat.
“I… Yamaguchi...” There was a tch sound and then someone sighing. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“Take it a step at a time; it’s alright. Take your time.”
Kuroo listened intently; Tsukishima sniffed a little and then he sighed again.
“Yamaguchi and I had a fight in club… Yamaguchi he’s… he’s my best friend. I think I just screwed up our entire friendship.”
Kuroo remembered the memory he had seen via their link, with Yamaguchi following him around everywhere and smiling up as Tsukishima as if he were the world. Kuroo was pretty sure he knew where this was going. “What did you fight over? Just take some deep breaths; I’m sure it can be sorted out between you, Tsuks.”
“Tsuks?”
Kuroo fumbled over his words. “I’m sorry I just thought-”
“I like it.”
Kuroo breathed a silent sigh of relief and made to sit on his bed, throwing himself down to stare at the ceiling.
“What’s happened, Tsuks?”
Silence again, and then Tsukishima choked a little. Kuroo immediately reached out with his mind, feeling the sorrow in the other’s mind.
“I can’t… Every time I try I choke up, I just can’t.”
“Okay, it’s okay, Tsuks. Listen to me, alright? Just reach out to me mentally; we can stay on the phone, just tell me in your head. I’ll get it, alright? I’m still here, I’m just on the other side of the phone, I promise.”
“O-Okay… I’ll try.”
Kuroo lay there, reaching out, trying to help Tsukishima find him. For a moment, he didn’t think it was working, and he was about to say something when he felt… something. It felt like someone grabbing at him, trying to cling to him.
“I’ve got you, Tsuks; I’ve got you, I can feel you.”
There was a sigh of relief and Kuroo went silent again.
Yamaguchi and I had an argument. He missed a receive and I asked him what the hell it was and he just started storming off, saying he was giving up and going home. I retorted that he missed one receive and he was giving up and he screamed that he gave up on Saturday.
That doesn’t seem like Yamaguchi; then come to think about it, he did seem quite off in the practice match.
Tsukishima went silent on both the phone and via their link and Kuroo thought he’d done something wrong, and then his voice came back.
I asked him what was wrong and he said that it was because I’d seen colour. I pushed him; he told me earlier the same day that he saw in colour so I asked what the problem was. The problem was it was when I was looking at you.
How is that a problem?
Yamaguchi… Yamaguchi saw colour when he looked at me and when we saw in colour together… his vision went back to monochrome.
“I see.” Kuroo felt a flare of protectiveness surge around his body, and he pushed it away to focus on Tsukishima.
“What do I do, Kuroo? I can’t lose him he’s… he’s pretty much my only friend.”
“I think you need to give him time to process all of this, Tsuks.”
Kuroo frowned at the silence of the other end of the call. It went on for ten seconds, twenty, thirty, almost forty when Tsukishima cleared his throat.
“Why did he see colour but I didn’t?”
Kuroo didn’t reply for a moment. He listened to Tsukishima as he thought back to the memory, tried to remember which one was Yamaguchi. “He’s a beta, right?”
“Mhm.” There was a slurp from Tsukishima’s end and Kuroo burst into laughter.
“What was that?”
Tsukishima made the tch noise again. “I’m eating ramen, don’t laugh at me.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry; it just sounded adorable and it caught me by surprise.”
Kuroo felt embarrassment creep across the back of his mind. “Did I just embarrass you? I’m sorry I-”
“Don’t be; it’s… it’s kind of nice to hear that, actually.”
Kuroo smiled softly. “I’m glad.”
“What- Not to change the topic of conversation, but what were you saying about the hierarchy and Yamaguchi?”
“Yamaguchi’s a beta; I’m an alpha. I’m on top of the hierarchy.”
“But why didn’t I see colour when he did?”
“You probably just weren’t ready for a bond.”
There was another slurp, a sniff and Tsukishima sighed. “I feel terrible.”
“It’s not your fault, don’t blame yourself.”
“Mm.”
“Tsuks… I promise, it’s not your fault. It’s just how our world works.”
“I suppose.”
Kuroo smiled weakly. “Tsuks, you sound tired. It’s almost 10pm.”
“Is this your way of telling me to go to bed?”
There was a hint of a laugh on Tsukishima’s words, and Kuroo smiled, properly this time. “I suppose so.”
The sound of bed sheets ruffling took hold of Kuroo’s attention and then Tsukishima yawned down the phone.
“Thank you, Kuroo; good night.”
“Good night.”
The dial tone rang in Kuroo’s ear and then he set his phone on his bedside table, making sure to plug it in to charge.
Smiling, Kuroo closed his eyes, and felt his link with Tsukishima go silent. It was still there, thrumming softly in the back of his mind, and Kuroo smiled once more.
Time. He’ll come to you.
Smiling, overjoyed that Tsukishima had let him in, Kuroo fell asleep with ease.
Chapter 8: Running, Running
Notes:
This isn't quite as long as the usual chapters, and I want to apologise for that but this is purely filler, and also to add some more background to little hints of this that I've had before.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The next morning, Tsukishima woke up feeling relatively calm. He put his glasses on, checked his phone – and casually ignored the numerous messages he had from the team asking if he was alright. He didn’t want to deal with the drama that had happened yesterday.
If Tsukishima ignored it for now until Yamaguchi asked to discuss it, then it should all go smoothly. Or, rather, smoother than what it had gone in practice.
Tsukishima got up, sitting with his feet pressed against the floor. He’d opened up to Kuroo last night. Standing up, Tsukishima let out a soft tch before sighing and dressing. That was a momentary lapse in judgement that couldn’t happen again. He didn’t want Kuroo to be close to him, and he did not want to be close to Kuroo.
Hesitating, Tsukishima reached out mentally, pressing on the link to see what would happen. The cloudiness of sleep, contentment, happiness… it slipped through his mind and Tsukishima pulled a face. No wonder Kuroo was always rushing in the morning, sparking Tsukishima’s own anxiety.
Taking a breath, Tsukishima remembered the words his brother had said about using mental shields, how he had done it against his soulmate and how he regretted it and Tsukishima managed to force his own ones up. They were shoddy, and it would take him to make them stable, but he assured himself they would do for now.
Heading downstairs, Tsukishima had little interest in the questions his Mother asked him; would you like Kuroo-kun to come over this weekend? Do you want to go on a family trip to Tokyo this weekend? Remember how you wanted to move to Tokyo when you were younger?
Tsukishima shrugged off as many as he could with constant tchs and was grateful when she finally picked up that the didn’t want to discuss Kuroo-kun. He ate in silence before he went to wash his face and brush his teeth.
He didn’t want to move to Tokyo. He didn’t want to see Kuroo. He didn’t want his family to go to Tokyo to meet Kuroo’s family. Tsukishima didn’t want anything to do with Kuroo; he didn’t want nor did he need the alpha in his life. He was doing just fine without him.
Tsukishima sighed heavily and then packed his volleyball uniform, fresh from being clean and folded up neatly on his desk before he made his way back downstairs. Akiteru was pulling his shoes on, taking his jacket off the hook to fold into his bag. They made eye contact, and Tsukishima knew exactly what was coming.
“Kei, walk with me. We go the same way for half of your journey anyway.”
“I’m walking with Yamaguchi.”
Akiteru raised an eyebrow. “I know that’s a lie. Your eyebrow still twitches when you lie.”
Tsukishima sighed and submitted to the talk that was coming and slipped his shoes on before following his brother out the door.
-xox-
“You’re running away.”
Tsukishima exhaled sharply out of his nose. Of course, Akiteru would have waited in silence for Tsukishima to take a sip from his water bottle before he brought up the whole situation with Kuroo. He knew it was better that way because Tsukishima couldn’t interrupt.
“Like you didn’t want to at the start.” Tsukishima wiped the drops of water from his lips with the back of his hand.
Akiteru gave him a warning look. Tsukishima looked away.
“I’m not running away.”
“It sure as hell seems like it. I heard you on the phone to Kuroo last night-”
Tsukishima’s cheeks went bright red and he cleared his throat. “I merely needed clarity on a situation.”
“I don’t care if you two were having phone sex, don’t interrupt me.”
Tsukishima blushed even darker and fell silent, more out of shock.
“I heard you on the phone to him last night. You were letting him in. You two were communicating via your link – heck you even let him call you Tsuks. When have you ever let anyone call you that?”
“So I let my guard down for half an hour whilst eating a bowl of ramen. What does that even matter?”
“What matters, Kei, is that he’s your soul mate and your alpha.”
Tsukishima flinched violently at the word and he glared at his brother. His left hand moved to rub the cuff on his wrist, only for Akiteru to stop walking. “Give me your arm.”
Tsukishima glared but held his right wrist out. Akiteru unclasped the cuff and stuffed it into his own pocket. Tsukishima kicked a stone on the ground as they started walking again.
“Kuroo-kun-”
“His name is Kuroo. You don’t even know him.”
“And there’s that little protective flare that you’re getting, because you’re connected to him.”
“I don’t care if he was physically knotted to me right now, we’re not connected.”
Akiteru looked like he wanted to either slap some sense into Tsukishima or abandon the conversation completely.
“Listen to me, Kei. I know you hate the hierarchy but you’ve found your place in it now. You are an omega, and Kuroo is your alpha. You two are soul mates. That is never going to go away. You lead him on last night. You used him for your own gain in whatever situation it was and you let him in. He’s going to try and contact you and you’re going to shut him out. He’s going to be confused and upset.”
Tsukishima bit his tongue.
“You need to talk to him, discuss things. His family has already been in contact with Mom.”
Tsukishima stared at Akiteru, eyes wide.
“They want you to go to Tokyo this weekend, with Mom and I; or them to come up here. Mom was trying to find out what you wanted to do. They want to meet you and by the sounds of it, they want you to be comfortable. His family is trying to accommodate you, Kei.”
“I don’t need them to accommodate me. At all.”
“Will you pull your head out of your ass for once?”
Tsukishima looked away again.
“I’ll say it again, Kei; you and Kuroo, that’s not going away-”
Tsukishima snapped. “Like you and Machiko weren’t ever going to go away?”
Akiteru stepped back, eyes wide. Immediately Tsukishima felt bad and he seemed to curl up in his jacket. “I’m sorry… that was uncalled for.”
“Its time to grow the fuck up, Kei. You’re an omega and you have a place in the world.” Akiteru’s eyes were like fire. “Get used to it.”
Before Tsukishima could say anything else, Akiteru had turned and stalked off down the route he took where the road branched off into town.
Notes:
I understand that Akiteru swearing at all, and especially at Kei, is more than likely OOC, but that's added in for a reason, I promise!
Chapter 9: Unwelcome Surprises
Chapter Text
Monday went by, unproblematic. Tsukishima did his lessons, ate his lunch alone, went to volleyball practice. Yamaguchi didn’t come. Tsukishima realised that Yamaguchi hadn’t been in school all day. Akiteru acted like nothing happened when he got home. His Mother asked the same questions about Kuroo and his family. There were knocks on Tsukishima’s mental blocks; Kuroo tried to call him. Tsukishima remembered his conversation with Akiteru that morning. Tsukishima ignored the rings. After three more attempts, Kuroo seemed to get the message.
Tuesday was more stressful. Tsukishima’s morning classes went by without a problem. He ate lunch alone, plugged into his headphones before settling down to read a book. His afternoon classes were much harder. They had a substitute teacher, and that meant most people would play up. Tsukishima’s suspicions were proved right when the alpha that sat next to him – was his name Isao or Iwao? - ripped his right shirt sleeve up, smirking at the omega mark there. Who would want to mate with a freaky omega like you?
Luckily, the substitute teacher heard the words spoken and spun around. The student bowed to the more superior alpha and said nothing at all for the rest of the day. Tsukishima decided that he liked a few alphas.
He went to volleyball practice; Yamaguchi didn’t.
Akiteru wasn’t home when Tsukishima got there. His Mother asked the same questions about Kuroo. Kuroo tried calling him again, only once this time.
Wednesday went by much like Monday. No problems in lessons or at lunch. Yamaguchi came into lesson after lunch. He ignored Tsukishima. Tsukishima cast him a few glances, trying to gage what the beta might be feeling, but ultimately, also ignored Yamaguchi. Akiteru was at home, cooking. His Mother was in deep conversation on the phone – Kei has always had trouble with the hierarchy, ever since he was a young teenager. I’m trying to talk to him about it, but he just won’t give me an opinion on what he wants to do – Tsukishima disappeared to his room. He studied. Kuroo didn’t call, although Tsukishima felt a pang of loneliness at the back of his mind here and there. He thought about his conversation with Akiteru on Monday. Tsukishima went to bed.
Thursday went by like Tuesday. Alphas leered at Tsukishima as he passed them in the corridor – now that his cuff was off, every alpha would see the omega identity mark on his wrist. Some said lewd things, others made jokes about mating, one alpha even blocked his way into the bathroom and suggested they went in together; Tsukishima left and found another one to use, too tired to argue. At least classes were going by easily, since Tsukishima had decided he had studied enough of what they already had and had started reading ahead. Akiteru offered him a bright smile when he got home and asked about Kuroo. Tsukishima wondered if Kuroo’s Mother had told his own that he was ignoring Kuroo. His Mother didn’t ask the same questions. He went and studied. Kuroo texted him – seemed like you were in some sort of upset or distress today… I just wanted to make sure you were okay, Tsuks – and Tsukishima faltered. His mind blocks were definitely getting better, easier to hold, but feelings still slipped around and underneath them. Tsukishima remembered his conversation with Akiteru. I’m fine, thank you. Sorry for not talking today, but I’m going to sleep now. I have a test tomorrow. Tsukishima’s eyebrow twitched. He went to bed. He didn’t sleep till the early hours.
Friday was stressful. Yamaguchi had returned to classes fully; although Tsukishima went unknown as to why he hadn’t been there most of the week. Yamaguchi ignored Tsukishima as if he just didn’t exist and hadn’t been his best friend since elementary school. Tsukishima ate alone at lunch. He did the pairs work alone in afternoon classes. He went to volleyball practice. Yamaguchi came to volleyball practice. They were put on different teams. There were two new pairs of shoes in the hallway.
Tsukishima froze and stared at the two pairs of shoes that he had never seen before in his life. He blinked a little and then hung his jacket up on the hook. He debated calling out, but he could hear a woman’s voice he hadn’t heard before.
Tsukishima took a breath – he could guess what this was – and he slowly moved to hover in the kitchen doorway.
Kuroo Tetsurou was sitting at the table, laughing with Akiteru over some joke, his hands around a mug of coffee. A woman was sat on the other side of the table, smiling and talking with his Mother. She had thick, messy black hair, and the same cat-like pupils. It wasn’t hard to guess this was Kuroo’s Mother-
“Kei!”
Tsukishima could have murdered his older brother. Everyone turned to look at him and everyone offered a bright smile. He managed a grimace in return.
Kuroo was a damn sight to see. He was smiling wide at Tsukishima, his eyes all bright and sparkling. Anyone would think he belonged in a damn anime.
“How was school, Tsuks?”
Tsukishima raised an eyebrow, but he had said that Kuroo could call him that; he couldn’t back out of that, at least.
“Stressful, to a degree.”
Tsukishima moved to the kitchen sink to get a drink of water before turning on his heels, his sock-clad feet sliding a little across the tiles. “I’m going to study.”
Tsukishima saw Akiteru frown at him from his peripheral vision. “Kei, Kuroo-kun came from Tokyo to see you-”
“He can see me a little later. I want to go over what we learned today so I can remember it. I’m sure a fellow student understands that.” Tsukishima stopped walking and turned his gaze to the table.
Kuroo’s Mother was frowning a little, and Tsukishima swore he could have heard her thoughts – an omega studying? They’ve no need to do so. He’ll stay at home and produce pups. Tsukishima could have been sick.
Kuroo, however, was smiling brightly. “That’s fine. I’ll see you at dinner. I was getting acquainted with your family, anyway.”
“How lovely.” Tsukishima’s eyebrow twitched. This was anything but lovely. “I’ll see you all at dinner, if you’ll excuse me.”
Tsukishima disappeared almost before he had finished talking, and took a moment on the stairs to breathe. This was overwhelming and he didn’t want this in his life. He didn’t need Kuroo and he didn’t need Kuroo’s Mother either.
There was a pang of upset in the back of his head and Tsukishima looked up to see Kuroo frowning a little. He was still in conversation with Akiteru, but he had turned his head to watch Tsukishima. Kuroo didn’t try and smile. Tsukishima didn’t try and pass his thoughts off as anything else before he finally grabbed his bag and turned to disappear to his room.
-xox-
Akiteru and Kuroo had ended up in the garden, tossing a volleyball to each other. It was a bit of a struggle with two people, but Akiteru had discouraged Kuroo from going to ask Tsukishima. Kuroo frowned a little, and quite often he looked up to see Tsukishima in the window, watching them. He was holding his drink to his chest, lips pursed.
Tsukishima’s golden brown eyes would stare at Kuroo, and Kuroo would feel questions at the back of his mind. He hadn’t been able to grab onto one to see what Tsukishima was thinking, and then the walls went back up and Kuroo heard nothing.
Sighing heavily, Kuroo returned the ball to Akiteru, getting ready for it to come back. “Why is… Tsukishima… He’s...”
“He’s scared of commitment, he hates being an omega, he hates how omegas have to act for alphas, and he still feels highly betrayed by the hierarchy.”
Akiteru let the ball hit his arms and it came souring back to Kuroo, who caught it. “That’s… that’s a lot for him to deal with- why does he feel betrayed by the hierarchy?”
Akiteru sighed and glanced up to his brother’s window, currently absent. Kuroo guessed he had gone back to studying.
“When he was growing up, everyone thought the would be an alpha. He thought it, I did, Mom and Dad… And when he turned 16 he woke up to an omega identity mark on his wrist. It broke him. He started studying into omegas at high school, and I’ll be damned if I haven’t seen him read almost every page of his textbook. He despises how omegas are treated – house wives and mothers – I’m pretty sure I’ve heard him say he never wants kids.”
Akiteru sighed. “He’s had… a lot to deal with and there’s been things that have happened. Accidents that have affected him pretty badly and… he just needs time.”
Kuroo thought back to the memory he had seen, Tsukishima being told there had been an accident, and then curling up and crying himself to sleep in Akiteru’s arms.
Kuroo hesitated. “If I may ask, this accident… was it your father?”
Akiteru pulled a dark face. “No. My Father broke the bond with our Mother and left when Kei started his second year of junior high. Found another omega that apparently saw colour when she looked at him. Left Mom broken and us with no answers to our questions. He comes to see Kei sometimes, but Kei doesn’t always want to see him.”
Kuroo nodded a little and then glanced up at the window. Tsukishma was sat on the window sill now, nose in a book. Kuroo watched his feet play with each other, the toes curling around and around.
Adorable.
Tsukishima glared at him. Kuroo put his hands up and returned to looking at Akiteru.
“The accident… You should probably know.” Akiteru had begun walking to the back door and Kuroo followed. “If you’re a part of this family then it’s your knowledge and it’ll probably be in your own mind after the link was made.”
Kuroo raised an eyebrow and then followed Akiteru through the house to a small door that Kuroo had assumed to be a closet. Akiteru opened the door and Kuroo immediately hung his head in respect when he saw a shrine.
“Machiko was my soul mate. It was all an accident; a malfunctioning light telling her to cross the street and a green light telling a car to go…” Akiteru sighed. “When Machiko and I first got together, when we first bonded, Kei was amazed. He looked at us with such awe; it made him excited to meet his soulmate. After the accident he...”
“He turned a bit of a dark eye.”
Akiteru nodded and sighed a little.
Kuroo looked at the photo in the centre piece of the shrine. Akiteru had his arms around a young girl. She was smiling bright and it reflected in her bright blue eyes. She held a peace sign up as Akiteru kissed her cheek. The wind from the day had tousled her black, shiny hair, making it blow out to the side as the photo was taken.
“She looked like she was a wonderful yoing woman.”
Akiteru smiled weakly. “She was remarkable. You know she could twist Kei aorund her little finger.” Akiteru chuckled. “She always got him to do the things Mom and I couldn’t do – namely, the things he didn’t want to do.”
Kuroo smiled and then became aware of Akiteru’s Mother calling Tsukishima down for dinner.
“I’m sorry for your loss, Akiteru-san.”
“Thank you, Kuroo-kun.”
They shared a small smile and then Akiteru sighed, closing the door as they stepped out. “I better get Kei down – he rarely eats. Never hears Mom with those damn headphones on.”
Kuroo smiled softly and felt in on the bond; Tsukishima was still reading, apparently. The blocks were down and he was content, happy. Kuroo retreated before Tsukishima realised he was there, and then made his way to the kitchen and the table to get something to eat.
Akiteru trailed in and seated himself in the seat that wasn’t next to Kuroo. Tsukishima stared at the seat next to Kuroo and then caught the teen’s eye.
Kuroo smiled widely. Tsukishima didn’t react.
As he padded through the kitchen to come and sit down, Kuroo stared at Tsukishima’s eyes.
Absolutely stunning.
Chapter 10: Try, Try, Try
Notes:
Squeaks; apologies! I've been really busy with college and was writing a few other fics and my autistic Tsukishima series. I'll try and get back on quick uploads for this!
Chapter Text
Tsukishima decided he could get through this dinner. If he focused hard enough on the food in front of him – Mom broke out the good china – and ate quickly enough, he might be able to escape when clear up happened. That sounded like a good plan, so Tsukishima picked up his chopsticks along with the rest of the group, and focused on eating. It was going well – his Mother asked Kuroo about his plans for the future – volleyball, of course, and hopefully I can get a job with my Uncle’s company. Kuroo’s Mother asked Tsukishima’s Mother about the secret to the amazing sauce with the food – oh, it’s all about the spices, my dear! All about the spices. Akiteru asked Kuroo about what university he was looking at – Tokyo, of course. Along with Miyagi.
Tsukishima froze. The table had come to a standstill, and he dared to look up between the four people at the table. Akiteru and his Mother were busying themselves with their food. Kuroo’s Mother was looking at Kuroo as if he had just grown a second head.
“Miyagi?”
Kuroo shrugged and had a mouthful of food. “Yeah, Miyagi.”
It was Tsukishima that cleared his throat, saying the question everyone was wondering. “Why would you come to Miyagi if you’re on track for Tokyo University?”
Kuroo smiled. “You’ve got a good thing going at Karasuno. It would be unfair of me to expect you to uproot yourself half way through your first year of high school, or after your first year, and move to Tokyo. This way you can finish your high school education without having to move. The course I’m looking at is only two years long anyway, so we’ll both graduate at the same time and we can decide what we want to do then.”
Tsukishima blinked, staring at Kuroo. The alpha smiled and then returned to his food.
This was… unheard of. Alphas didn’t move around at will for their omegas. Omegas went to their alphas and did as they were told. Alphas didn’t care about their omegas in an education way. What the alpha said went, and the omega went along willingly or not.
Kuroo was… caring of him?
Tsukishima blinked again, too distracted to even realise that Kuroo had referred to them as a couple.
“You would… move to Miyagi for me?”
Kuroo nodded. “Of course I would. I only have half a year left at Nekoma anyway, so I don’t see much of a problem of us having long-distance...” Kuroo broke off. “If you wanted that anyway.”
Tsukishima looked down at his food, poking it around. Akiteru’s foot connected with his shin, and Tsukishima hissed over at him. A growl ripped from Kuroo’s throat, making everyone jump. Kuroo’s eyes widened and he bowed his head.
“My apologies, Akiteru-san.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Akiteru offered a warm smile and then gave Tsukishima a I told you so look. Tsukishima flipped him off behind his bowl.
Tsukishima’s Mother cleared her throat and started talking to Kuroo. It was white noise to Tsukishima, staring into his food.
Kuroo wanted to come to Miyagi. Kuroo wanted Tsukishima to be happy. Kuroo was putting Tsukishima’s best interests first.
Are you alright over there? You look a little shell shocked.
Tsukishima jumped, almost knocking his glass of tea over. He blushed dark and returned to his food. The interruption was ignored. Tsukishima needed help.
He stood and bowed. “Please excuse me.”
As he left, Tsukishima ensured that his mental blocks were as high and as strong as they could be.
-xox-
“Who says stuff like that? What god damn alpha even thinks like that?”
Tsukishima whined into his pillow, hoping his voice was as muffled as it could be. The conversation from downstairs had moved from the kitchen to the living room, and Tsukishima had to quieten his voice.
“By the sounds of it, Tsukishima, he’s trying his best to accommodate you.”
“More like he’s trying to date me.”
Sugawara laughed lightly down the phone and Tsukishima rolled over onto his back. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to give into this-”
“-But there’s a little voice in the back of your head saying, just give him a chance! He’s your soulmate! He can’t be that bad! Right?”
“That’s the basic sum of it.” Tsukishima sighed. “What do I do, Suga-chan?”
“I say give him a chance.”
Tsukishima groaned again.
“Okay, it’s not what you wanted to hear, I get that, but listen to me. From what we all saw at the practice match, Kuroo is a good guy. Listening to what he’s been saying, he sounds like he genuinely cares about you. He wants to make sure you’re happy in all this – what would you want if you were Kuroo?”
Tsukishima sighed and rolled over, resituating his glasses on his face. “I’d want my omega to try.”
“Then try. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. Some alphas and omegas are soul mates and it just doesn’t work between them, Tsukki. It never hurts to try.”
Tsukishima closed his eyes and went silent for a moment.
“Tsukki?”
“Alright, alright. I’ll try. I mean, they have travelled for hours to come to Miyagi.”
“That’s the spirit-” There was a voice in the background and Tsukishima could only wonder what Sawamura was saying.
“Daichi says you can bring Kuroo to the practice game tomorrow if you wanted; Azumane had to take a study day so he can’t play and we could use a good spiker.”
Tsukishima groaned a little. “I’ll talk to him.”
“Okay! Now go be a good little soul mate and stop skulking in your room!”
Before Tsukishima could reply, the call went dead, and he found himself glaring at his phone. “Sure Mom.”
Rolling his eyes, Tsukishima got up and hesitated in his doorway. He could hear the laughter from downstairs and he closed his eyes. Slowly, he took his mental blocks down and started making his way to the living room.
-xox-
Kuroo’s arm fit rather snug around Tsukishima’s waist and Tsukishima gladly let his head fall onto the alpha’s shoulder. Kuroo’s thumb rotated soft circles on Tsukishima’s hip, and the omega was more than happy to stay silent and listen to everyone around him.
Actually, he was less than happy. He was trying to watch the show his brother had put on ages ago; it was a dinosaur documentary that he had just left on after flicking through the channels, but it was still an annoyance.
Tsukishima heard a chuckle in his mind.
Dinosaurs?
Tsukishima glared up at him and dragged through Kuroo’s head.
Kids books?
Kuroo blushed a pale red, and Tsukishima found that it looked good on him.
They’re good to read quickly!
Mhm, sure they are
What do you read then? Besides that romance manga
English-written books about crime and murder, thrillers with plot twists even you couldn’t even comprehend them
You are so snarky sometimes, has anyone ever told you that?
Daily
Tsukishima turned his attention to the screen again.
Thank you
Tsukishima let out a soft breath of annoyance and then turned his head to stare up at Kuroo. What for?
I don’t know what you did upstairs but… thank you for trying. I wanna try and make this work, Tsuks, so thank you, thank you so much for trying.
Tsukishima forced his face not to scrunch up in disgust at just how soppy this was getting.
Tomorrow, I have a practice game with Karasuno. Our ace has to study so he can’t make it – our captain asked if you’d be interested in playing with us.
Yeah! That sounds awesome!
Tsukishima grinned a little, forcing it onto his face. Kuroo raised an eyebrow and for some reason, Tsukishima burst into gentle laughter, covering his face. Kuroo’s chest bobbed as he laughed along and they moved closer, Tsukishima smiling as his head was on Kuroo’s shoulder.
Tsukishima admitted, this felt good. He felt so safe, so warm and fuzzy. Kuroo made him feel everything good and Tsukishima felt like he needed this. He just wanted the security that Kuroo made him feel.
Wasn’t it just a week or so ago he had asked to meet his soul mate?
Tsukishima peered up at Kuroo. Spending time with him and getting to know him was definitely something he wanted to try and do more of. Playing volleyball with him on the same team was definitely something not to be sniffed at.
Kuroo’s hand was rubbing gentle circles into Tsukishima’s back, and the blond closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling of it. His hand was larger than most, and it felt so good and secure.
Calling Sugawara was definitely the best thing Tsukishima had done concerning this so far.
“I think we should all head up to bed; it’s getting late, and Kei has a practice match tomorrow.”
Tsukishima looked over at his brother, who had just turned the television off and was standing. Tsukishima closed his eyes and yawned discreetly into Kuroo’s chest.
“Where will Tetsurou and I sleep?”
“Kuroo can sleep in my room, it’s fine.” Tsukishima wasn’t even aware of the words leaving his mouth, but when they were floating in the air, his cheeks burned red.
Kuroo chuckled. “That’s fine by me.”
The other three people in the room glanced at each other before back at the couple and they all nodded. Tsukishima gladly stood and pulled Kuroo out the room.
They headed upstairs, and Tsukishima closed the door once they were both inside. Moving across to his drawers, Tsukishima pulled his shirt off and exchanged it for a too-large baggy one he wore for a pyjama top before slipping his trousers off. He clambered into bed in his boxers and wiggled his sock clad toes as he watched Kuroo.
Tsukishima didn’t remember when the other’s bags had been brought to his room.
Kuroo stripped down to just his boxers, and then glanced over at Tsukishima. “Is it alright to sleep like this?”
Tsukishima nodded and closed his eyes. “Get the light.”
Tsukishima heard the pad of Kuroo’s feet on the floor, the flick of the light switch and then he listened to Kuroo coming back to the bed. He slipped under the covers; it was a squash in the single bed, but they managed to get comfy.
Tsukishima rested his head on Kuroo’s chest, just above his heart and listened intently. It was soothing, and along with Kuroo rubbing up and down Tsukishima’s back, it wasn’t long before the blond omega had fallen into a deep sleep.
Chapter 11: Distress
Notes:
This is so short, I'm so sorry but I cannot figure out how to continue this without the actual match but then the chapter will be about 7k with the plot I have with the match and sdfkjdsjkf.
Chapter Text
Waking up slowly, Tsukishima rubbed his eyes and yawned. It took him a moment to feel the presence in the bed behind him, and he shot upright. Tsukishima dared to look to his left. Kuroo was buried in the pillows Tsukishima slept with, one over his left ear, the other over his right. His face was buried in the pillow he was sleeping on and Tsukishima couldn’t help but smile.
So that’s how he styles his hair.
Tsukishima couldn’t help the giggle that escaped his lips. He bent his legs to rest his feet on his mattress, and hugged his knees. Resting his cheek on his knees, he watched Kuroo sleep for a little while before he decided he should get up. He had to make bento for the game today, and he had some studying to do before he left.
Sighing and running a hand through his hair, Tsukishima gave Kuroo one last glanced before he got up and stretched his back out. Yawning a little, he headed outside, shutting the door as quietly as he could before he headed downstairs. Akiteru was already awake, making bento for his day at work.
“How was last night?”
Tsukishima jumped out of his skin before blinking, blindly. “Nothing happened, if that’s what you’re implying.”
“It wasn’t but I wouldn’t judge you if something had.” Akiteru winked at his brother as he walked across the kitchen to go in the fridge. “It’s good to see you trying.”
Tsukishima smiled weakly and turned to head back upstairs, remembering he really needed his glasses to make bento. “I figured that… well they came all the way from Tokyo just so Kuroo could see me so I figured that trying was probably the best course to go. He’s… Kuroo’s an alright guy. He seems to be nice and I don’t think… I don’t think he’s hiding who he is. Plus, he really cares about me, and doesn’t expect me to be the ‘perfect little omega’ we’re taught to be.”
Akiteru smiled. “Sounds like the universe knew what it was doing when it paired you up.”
Tsukishima laughed and stuck his tongue out before he rubbed the back of his head. “Anyway, you’ll probably be gone by the time I get back downstairs. I’m gonna grab my glasses and-” Tsukishima broke off with a squeak as his glasses were slid on his nose from behind him. Akiteru burst into laughter and Tsukishima spun around to find a sleepy-eyed Kuroo behind him, smiling.
“Thought I’d give these to you. Good morning.”
“You scared the life out of me.” Tsukishima hit Kuroo’s arm, frowning, only to shriek again when large hands rested on his hips and pulled him close. Tsukishima watched him a moment, trying to gage what Kuroo was trying to do and then internally shrugged. Hesitantly, he leaned in to press his lips softly to Kuroo’s, who instantly started kissing him back.
Tsukishima liked this; Kuroo’s lips were soft, smooth. He wasn’t forcing it to be anything more than what it was. He was being gentle, keeping his lips closed. He wasn’t trying to lick and bite at Tsukishima’s lips, trying to make it more. He kept it slow, letting Tsukishima set the pace, and Tsukishima felt something warm in his chest. He gently pulled away, smiling softly. “I need to start getting ready.”
Kuroo made a noise in his throat, and something inside Tsukishima told him to drop his head, resting his forehead on Kuroo’s shoulder. Horror struck inside of him when he realised he was bearing his neck for Kuroo, who had gladly pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. Tsukishima froze a moment before he stepped away, forcing himself to reclaim the control of his own body. He rubbed the back of his head and without saying a word, he disappeared upstairs.
Tsukishima needed his basic biology to calm down.
-xox-
Walking into the gymnasium made Tsukishima feel like he was choking. He froze, his hand automatically find Kuroo’s, needing comfort as he looked around the gymnasium. The omegas in the room were obviously distressed; Hinata was clinging to Kageyama like his life depended on it, and Tsukishima could hear the purrs that left Kageyama’s throat, trying to soothe his omega. Azumane looked concerned, shifting on the spot as he kept a hold of Nishinoya. Nishinoya and Yamaguchi were both looking around, apparently unnerved by the feeling of pure sorrow radiating around the gym.
Tsukishima’s eyes searched around the gym, and he found the cause of it.
Sugawara was tucked away in the corner of the room, crying into Sawamura’s shoulder, clinging to him. Tsukishima yearned to reach out and try and comfort his fellow omega, his distress heartbreaking, but it wasn’t his place. Kuroo stepped forward and wrapped an arm around Tsukishima’s waist, hand flat against his hip bone. Tsukishima was glad he hadn’t had to ask.
Kageyama, Yamaguchi and Nishinoya silently beckoned Tsukishima over to their small and awkward group. Tsukishima dragged Kuroo with him.
“Azumane.” Tsukishima didn’t like how cracked his voice sounded when he tried to speak through the distress. “I thought you were studying?”
“I am.” He offered a pained smile. “I only came to drop off Nishinoya; he refused to walk without me.”
Hinata bawled into Kageyama’s shirt, and the alpha didn’t seem to know what to do. Tsukishima’s breath hitched as the distress in the room got stronger – turning his head, he realised Ukai had gone over to the couple in the corner, causing Sugawara to panic and Sawamura to tense up.
“Suga just got a call from the Pupping Clinic.” Tanaka’s voice made everyone jump. Tsukishima stepped a little bit away from the other alpha, deciding to let himself be pulled tightly against Kuroo’s chest.
Tsukishima watched Sugawara, normally always so good at holding himself together, being there for everyone else. He felt sorry for the vice captain, curled up like a child against his alpha.
“I’m… going to assume that it’s not good news.”
Tanaka frowned and cleared his throat. “It’s not… it’s not my place to tell any of you, but I think it’s better you know so that we can keep away from the topic… Sugawara can’t… can’t get pregnant. Not naturally at least.”
Tsukishima’s eyes widened and he looked back at the couple once more.
Sugawara and Sawamura hadn’t kept it a secret that they wanted a pup or two; Sugawara had even done schedules and timings to find a time that it was possible for him to get pregnant during his third year. Tsukishima couldn’t imagine the pure pain that Sugawara was feeling right now.
Ukai cleared his throat and Kuroo pulled Tsukishima as close to him as possible. Ukai noticed the movement and held his hand up in a sign of submission. Kuroo held his head high and Tsukishima elbowed him in the gut. Kageyama snickered in between his gentle purrs, Tanaka looked away so Kuroo didn’t see him laughing, and Nishinoya hid his smile.
“We’re going to give Daichi and Suga some time, until then we’re going to warm up. Azumane, if you’re not playing, head off back home, please. No offence meant, but an unnecessary alpha in here isn’t going to help Suga-chan.”
Azumane nodded, leaned down to press a kiss to Nishinoya’s lips, and then he left with a wave and a worried glance at their vice captain.
Hinata was still crying into Kageyama’s shirt, and the alpha was obviously getting more and more distressed. Tsukishima stepped away from Kuroo and cleared his throat. “Hinata.” He offered his arms and the small omega froze for a moment. He seemed to consider and then ran into Tsukishima’s arms, clinging to him.
Tsukishima assumed the look on Kageyama and Kuroo’s faces were funny, because Tanaka, Yamaguchi and Nishinoya all giggled softly. Tanaka cleared his throat. “The best comfort for unmated omegas are other omegas.”
Tsukishima rubbed his hand up and down Hinata’s back, shushing him softly, and he could feel Kageyama’s eyes on him. Tsukishima wondered if Kageyama was trying to set him on fire, and then he heard the growl from behind him. “Tetsu.” The name slipped from his mouth before he could think and then he awkwardly turned around to give Kuroo a warning look.
Ukai had disappeared again, and Sugawara and Sawamura were being lead through to the locker rooms. The air in the gymnasium seemed to clear up a little, and Hinata looked up at Tsukishima with a weak smile, sniffing. Tsukishima offered him a rare, small smile, before he rushed back to Kageyama’s side.
“You all know Kuroo.” Tsukishima straightened up and moved to let Kuroo’s arm curl around his side to hold him tightly.
They all murmured their hellos and then Ukai motioned for Kuroo and Tsukishima to change in the club room, allowing Sugawara and Sawamura their privacy.
Tsukishima couldn’t stop himself wondering if Sugawara would ever be the same.
Chapter 12: Golden Boys
Chapter Text
Tsukishima watched as Sugawara headed onto the sidelines, head held high. He was his usual bright, cheery self, but the red around his eyes gave away that he had been crying. He sat on the bench, rather than standing, and Ukai offered him a blanket, which he shook his head at. Tsukishima watched Sawamura as he walked onto the court, his head turned to watch Sugawara. Tsukishima frowned a little and turned his attention way, focusing on the Karasuno Neighborhood Association volleyball club.
He could sense Kuroo behind him, the starting serve, and he took a deep breath.
Now, it was time to focus on volleyball. It was time to pull up his mental walls, and rely on his talent and skill. Tsukishima closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He thought hard, focused on the training he had undergone, all the things his brother had taught him – arms higher! Hit the ball a tiny bit harder! You’ve almost got it, push off from the toes of your feet- that’s it Kei! - and he flickered his eyes open.
The first thing he saw was the Association member opposite him, middle at the net, staring over at the side lines. He had black hair, short, parted at the fringe to slide down either side of his forehead. Red glasses similar to Tsukishima’s own framed his eyes, and his lips were in a small o. Tsukishima dared a chance over his shoulder and noted that he was staring directly at Yamaguchi. He wondered for a moment, but then the whistle blew and Tsukishima shut his thought processes off.
The ball soared over his head, going directly for Ukai’s arms as he returned it. He heard his team yelling for the chance ball, and Nishinoya rushed to receive, pushing it up into the air. Sawamura cried out nice return and the ball went directly to Kageyama. Tsukishima moved over to the right, away from the blockers and his voice bellowed Kageyama’s name. For a split second, Tsukishima thought that Kageyama was going to set to Hinata, already jumping, and then the ball was flying towards him. Tsukishima jumped, his palm slammed the ball and it rushed past the blocker trying to get there in time. The ball bounced squarely in the corner and then bounced out. Karasuno cheered and Nishinoya cried out, Nice, Tsukki! and Tsukishima smirked at the black haired blocker that had tried to stop him.
Tsukishima turned with the group, and found Kuroo beaming at him from the corner. Tsukishima blushed and looked away.
The game was over relatively quickly. Sugawara had set for the second match, aiming with serious accuracy – if Tsukishima hadn’t witness him having the breakdown earlier, he would never have guessed the setter was struggling with his life off the volleyball court. Sawamura was over protective on the court, and it cost them a few points, but Karasuno kept fighting. They lost the first game 19-25, the second, 17-25.
The Neighbourhood Association all congratulated Karasuno, and the blockers all gave Tsukishima a firm hand shake and a smile. He nodded at them all, mumbling his gratitude, before finding Kuroo. Ukai stepped forward, calling the rest of the Karasuno team over.
“You all played amazingly today, really,” Ukai paused to smile at Sugawara who was staring at the ground, Sawamura’s arm an iron bar around his waist. “But you still have a lot of work to start playing as a team. You’re all playing as an individual, and it’s mostly working for you all, but for you to start winning, you need to start playing as a single organism. You need to train harder, Kageyama, you need to be able to set to everyone, not just Hinata. The sets you were throwing to Tsukishima were good, they were really good, but you need to be able to do that in every match we play – you need to be able to set to Azumane too, and Tanaka, not just Hinata with Tsukishima as a reserve. Tsukishima, you need to play more as a ream member rather than an individual that doesn’t really want to be here. You have skill, you have potential, and I want to see that skill here more.” Ukai paused and looked around at them all. “You all did really well. Kuroo, thank you for playing with us today, I think you really aided the team as a whole, and you definitely made Tsukishima more comfortable on the court.”
Tsukishima blushed, dark, and looked away, whereas Kuroo barked out a laugh. A chuckle went around the assembled team and Ukai smiled. “Seriously, what can I do to get you to transfer to Karasuno? We want him playing like that every game we play.” Ukai made eye contact with Tsukishima, and the blocker saw the humour in his eyes, but also the truth. He looked away, letting himself smile a small smile.
Tsukishima’s eyes found Yamaguchi, normally the one he would share his smile with, but Yamaguchi wasn’t looking at him – he was staring at the same Association member he had been earlier, and this time, the volleyball player was staring back at him. Tsukishima frowned a little, scanning the situation and he realised, with a jolt, that Yamaguchi was staring at him with a dreamy look in his eyes.
Kuroo’s hand squeezed Tsukishima’s waist and he turned back to the group, glancing at the Nekoma player. He was frowning, a questioning look on his face and then his small voice piped up.
Tsuks? You alright?
I’m fine, honestly, I’m just… really tired.
Tsukishima sighed and leant against Kuroo and then Ukai smiled at them all again. “Clean up, change and go home, guys. You’ve all done really well.” Ukai turned away, his eyes fixing on Sawamura and Sugawara and Tsukishima sighed. He rubbed his temple, feeling a headache forming and then turned to start collecting the balls that had amassed around the court during practice. Nishinoya ran over, holding his hand up and Tsukishima started throwing them to him, watching Nishinoya throw each one neatly into the ball bin.
Tsukishima noticed how Yamaguchi didn’t help, and how he hovered around the Association player, talking softly – smiling and laughing. Something twisted in Tsukishima’s gut and he turned away, focusing on the balls on the court floor.
“You really played well, Tsuks!” Kuroo nudged Tsukishima’s arm as they waited in line at a nearby cafe, and Tsukishima pressed his glasses up his nose, sighing in slight annoyance. “I played like I would in every other match.”
Kuroo chuckled, soft and light, and Tsukishima felt his chest squeeze a little. “Apparently, you don’t. Even Ukai-sensei was proud of how you played today.”
Tsukishima rolled his eyes and focused on the menu. Strawberry cheesecake and a coffee had sounded good, Kuroo tempting him to the cafe instead of his home with promises of strawberry flavoured heaven, but if this was turning into a play by play of the match, then Tsukishima was going to walk out and leave him there. Kuroo smiled a little, and he must have heard Tsukishima’s thinking, because he pointed at the strawberry cheesecake in the display case. “One or two slices?”
Tsukishima smiled at him, fluttering his eyelashes. “Two sounds heavenly.”
“Two slices it is.” Kuroo smiled softly and stepped forward to order, smiling brightly at the woman behind the counter and Tsukishima looked away. He stared out the glass front windows of the front of the cafe, watching people go by. He zoned out for a moment, before a familiar face caught his eye and he blinked. Tsukishima watched Yamaguchi walk by, smiling and laughing with the player from the Karasuno Neighborhood Association and he frowned for a moment. They stopped at the door, talking a moment, and then continued on past the cafe.
“Tsuks?”
Tsukishima looked around to see Kuroo holding a tray of food and drink, and he smiled. “I’m fine, really, stop looking at me like you’re worried.” Tsukishima made his way to a table, tucked away in the corner and settled down. Kuroo followed and slipped onto the seat. He ditched his bag next to Tsukishima’s and then smiled.
“So then, no match talk?”
“None at all.” Tsukishima delicately took a plate of strawberry cheesecake and a fork, taking a small bite as quickly as he could without looking rude. Taste exploded over his tongue, pure pleasure, and he smiled softly. “You didn’t have to play with us today… why did you?”
Kuroo snorted before he took a sip of his mocha. “I thought we said no match talk?”
“This isn’t match talk, this is a question about you.” Tsukishima rose an eyebrow and took another delicate bite before he picked his coffee up, taking a sip. The bitter taste swirled over his taste buds, and Tsukishima smiled. He swallowed, relishing the small burn at the back of his throat and then focused entirely on Kuroo. “The question.”
Kuroo sipped his mocha and wouldn’t meet Tsukishima’s eyes. “I took a guess that volleyball was one of the places you lost yourself, one of those things where you develop and we see who you are. I… I wanted to see that. I wanted to see you do something that you’re passionate about, to see you in your comfort zone. You haven’t been like that around your house and I assume it’s because my Mother and I are here; your usual routine has been messed up and it puts you on edge.” Kuroo stared at his hands. “I just wanted to see you, not the facade you’ve put up for us.”
Tsukishima picked at a slice of cheesecake and took a breath before picking up his coffee again. He stared at his food, swallowing the mouthful of coffee. “You… you wanted to see all that?”
Kuroo nodded and looked up with a gentle smile. “And I was right. You truly are beautiful when you’re yourself.”
Tsukishima blushed heavily and busied himself with taking another bite of cheesecake, which made Kuroo burst into soft laughs. Tsukishima stared at him with malice before Kuroo leaned forward, making Tsukishima jump. A large, strong hand cupped his cheek and Kuroo’s thumb swiped across Tsukishima’s bottom lip. Tsukishima watched as Kuroo sucked some strawberry frosting from his thumb, and blushed even darker when he realised that he had taken it off his lip.
Tsukishima busied himself with his coffee, taking a quick sip and swallowing it down before Kuroo leaned forward again. He said nothing, and Tsukishima stared into his eyes, realising what he wanted. Hesitating a few seconds, Tsukishima leaned forward and let his lips meet with Kuroo’s.
The world disappeared. Tsukishima was surrounded by a warm, golden glow that seemed to reach out to him, that danced up and down his spine. A hand cupped the back of his neck, and Tsukishima hummed softly. His own hand found Kuroo’s cheek, thumb rubbing up and down the bone there and then they gently pulled away.
Tsukishima stared at Kuroo, his face only a little way from Tsukishima’s and then he jolted backwards, staring at the table.
“I’m sorry did I… did I overstep?”
Tsukishima dared to look up at Kuroo, and found the alpha to be biting on his lips. He could see Kuroo’s scent gland raised against his skin; liquid glistened in the dim lights of the cafe. Tsukishima could smell him from where he sat, and he knew his own scent gland would be risen, the skin around it thinner for easy access to the alpha’s teeth.
“N-No.” Tsukishima stared down at his coffee again before he took a breath. “I’m just… not used to this.”
“I don’t think either of this are.”
Tsukishima watched the murky brown liquid in his cup ripple as he disturbed it. The oaken table beneath his arms was a beautiful brown, dark, with details of twisted wood under the varnish.
“Tsukishima… Tsuks… Kei.”
Tsukishima looked up and found Kuroo scratching his scent gland, wincing a little. Tsukishima could feel his own, irritated and sore and he shook his head. “Sorry, I… lost myself for a moment.”
He smiled and reached over to rest his hand on top of Kuroo’s, already resting on the table. Kuroo stared at their hands before his eyes met Tsukishima’s and the blond smiled, sipping his coffee with his spare hand.
“So… tell me about Tokyo.”
Kuroo’s lips slipped into an easy smile, and he settled down to fill Tsukishima in about his childhood growing up in Tokyo.
As Tsukishima listened, he felt something inside of him tug and whisper, you’ve got the right one, and for the first time in a long time, Tsukishima smiled, a genuine smile.

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