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left my heart in Amsterdam (I really need that feeling back) by aletterinthenameofsanity for fear0phobia
Fandoms: Criminal Minds (US TV)
05 Jun 2026
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Summary
Emily remembers waking up in the hospital after surgery, no one but JJ in there with her.
There were tears in JJ’s voice as she said, “It’s going to devastate them, to see you die.”
Emily knew that they all cared. That she had friends.
But Spencer and Derek had been dating for ages before she ever got swept up between them. They’ll grieve, probably, but—
They’ll be fine. It’s not like she was their girlfriend or anything. She hasn’t been anyone’s girlfriend in a very long time, no matter how much some part of her yearned to finally anchor herself.
She hopes that they move on. That would be better than the alternative, she has to think.
They'd only just started dating—if you can even call what they were doing dating at all. She might have wanted it to be, but she knows, in practice, that it was just friends accepting her into bed because they wanted someone that they trusted to have some fun with. They should be able to move on, right?
(When Emily fakes her own death, she has been sleeping with Derek and Spencer for about a month- but she might already be in love with them. They don't love her back, though, right? There's no way she's haunting them like they're haunting her.)
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