Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

After the pervious mission's success, everyone had high hopes. This mission wasn't a failure—not many soldiers had been lost and there hadn't been a high amount of major injuries, besides Eren.

That brat, Rivaille sighed to himself.

No one was really sure what had happened. After Eren had turned into a titan, they'd lost track of him. Four hours later, when the area was mostly clear of titans, they'd found his titan. There wasn't much left to it; it was obvious he'd taken much more damage without any fellow soldiers around to protect him.

But it wasn't only his titan that had taken damage, Eren himself was a mess. Because most of his titan was gone already, getting him out in one piece wasn't much of an issue, but there were deep cuts and gashes everywhere, along with a fever so high it actually hurt to touch him for more than a moment or two.

Rivaille was absolutely furious that they'd let Eren out of their sight. The anger only got worse as the week went on. Eren hadn't woken up yet, and the deepest of his gashes wasn't fully healed. The bandages had to be changed often, as the bleeding wouldn't cease.

It was Saturday morning when Eren finally slipped into consciousness. Rivaille had been changing his bandages when the boy's green eyes slowly began to open. They met Rivaille's for a long moment.

"Tch, it's about time you woke up." Rivaille broke the eye contact to tie the fresh bandage.

Eren flinched, groaning. Even though Rivaille's voice was quite when he spoke, it made the pounding headache worse. And his side hurt too much for him to feel like he could properly form words. He eventually did under Rivaille's expectant glare. "H-how long was I out, sir?" His voice was raspy and he was desperate for some water.

"A little over a week," Rivaille replied. He moved to the bathroom and came back with a large glass of water for him. He helped the teen into a sitting position, being careful of his side, and handed him the glass of water. Eren almost dropped it, being incredibly weak, but Rivaille steadied it for him.

In a normal situation, Eren would have been completely embarrassed, but the help the Corporal was giving him was very much needed for the time being. When the water was gone, Rivaille set the empty glass on the side table, pressing his hand to Eren's forehead. His temperature was definitely better than before, but was still too high.

"Sir?"

"What is it, Jaeger?"

"What happened out there? Why hasn't that closed up yet?"

The Corporal knew he was referring to the gash in his side.

"Your titan form took too much damage."

Eren looked away from the Corporal, trying to remember anything past even turning into a titan. He could recall killing titans for what seemed like hours, though it was blurry.

"Eren."

"Yes sir?" His eyes met the Corporal's again.

"I'm going to get Hanji. She's been impatient waiting for you to wake up. Try and remember as much as you can, she'll probably have quite a few questions."

Eren's brows furrowed after Rivaille was out of the room. He didn't seem as cold or as distant as usual. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he'd nearly died?

Hanji had stayed with him for quite a while, trying to get him to remember as much of the mission as he could. Afterwards, she idly chatted with him about this and that, mostly telling him some new theories she'd come up with about the titans since the mission.

Mikasa and Armin came in after dinner time.

"How are you feeling?" Mikasa asked, giving him a careful hug.

"Um, okay, I guess." His headache was getting worse throughout the day rather than better.

He was almost asleep when he heard the door open. He couldn't bring himself to open his eyes to see who it was. Besides, he could tell it was the Corporal from how light the footsteps were.

He felt the hand on his forehead again. Rivaille's hand lingered there before he ran it through Eren's hair, pushing it back and leaning down to press a soft kiss to the boy's forehead.

He listened to the retreating footsteps of the Corporal, and then his door opening. "Brat," he whispered, but Eren was sure he could hear the smile in Rivaille's voice.

Chapter Text

Sometimes Rivaille would have sleepless nights. And if he was lucky, on those nights, Eren would sleep peacefully. There’d be no nightmares, none of his endless screaming about the titans. He would still talk in his sleep, though. It was frustrating to Rivaille because half the time he had no idea what the boy was saying. He’d either mumble too lowly or speak in German.

Rivaille knew some German, but it was simple things like hello, goodbye, and I love you.

The first time Eren said I love you to him, he’d said it in German. Eren was sitting on the opposite side of the table. Rivaille was idly sipping the tea from the tiny cup. It was later at night; everyone else had already gone to bed at that point.

“C-Corporal?” Eren asked, his voice wavering slightly.

“What is it, Jaeger?”

“Ich liebe dich!” he’d said, looking him right in the eye.

“You know I don’t speak German, Jaeger,” he’d replied, but he knew enough to know what Eren had said to him.

And sometimes when Eren has sleepless nights, Rivaille usually doesn’t. Eren would pull the older man closer, playing softly with his hair, trying to fall asleep.

It was a rare occasion that Rivaille would say something in his sleep, and when he did, it was in French.

The first time Rivaille said I love you to Eren, he’d said it in French.

Eren knocked on the door to Rivaille’s office. Hanji had wanted him to give Rivaille some papers or something. He really hadn’t paid much attention past ‘go give these papers to Rivaille’.

He heard a sigh from the other side of the door and a quiet, “Come in.”

“Um, Hanji wanted me to give you these papers, sir.”

Rivaille took the papers and set them on the desk, leaning back in his chair. “I said you don’t have to call me sir when we’re alone.”

“It feels weird not to,” he admitted, sitting down in the chair opposite of Rivaille.

“Tch,” Rivaille looked the boy over for a moment. He always looked so tense and full of anger, but sitting across from him now was a teenage boy with far too much resting on his shoulders. He was absolutely exhausted and not even bothering to hide it like he usually would. “Eren.”

“Mm?” he glanced up at him.

“Take the rest of the day off from training. Go get some rest; you look terrible.”

Eren opened his mouth to protest, but ended up yawning instead. He nodded afterwards, getting up and stretching before making his way to the door.

“Eren.”

“Yeah?”

“Je t’aime,” he said, already shuffling through the papers from Hanji.

Eren frowned, too tired to try and figure out what it meant. It ended up bothering for weeks on end, trying to guess what Rivaille had said to him.

After Eren had figured it out, they’d fallen into a sort of routine. On days where they’d only get to pass each other in the hallways or on the field, Rivaille would say, “Je t’aime,” and Eren would reply with, “Ich liebe dich auch.”

It’s not like they were being secretive, as most of the people around them spoke either German or French. Saying it English would be as obvious as either of the other two languages. But to them, it almost felt like it had more meaning behind it, being their native languages.

And sometimes they would have sleepless nights together. Eren would wrap his arms around Rivaille’s waist and pull him closer, nuzzling his nose into his hair and mumbling quietly in German while Rivaille would kiss and gently bite at Eren’s neck, saying things softly in French.

Chapter Text

The worst of Eren’s dreams were always of his mother. It wasn’t the constant memory of her being eaten. It was when she’d still be alive and she’d see him for the first time since he’d become a soldier.

And she’d always be so proud of him.

He would be saluting for whatever reason, and then his mom would be there. And she’d gasp, her hands covering her mouth, crying. She’d step forward and smile, placing a hand on his shoulder. He’d fall out of the salute and then he’d hug her, crying as well.

He would wake up crying silently. He’d wake up Rivaille, and the shorter of the two would pull the boy closer and let him cry it out, mumbling things to him in soft, sleepy French.

When it came to nightmares and soldiers, Rivaille would usually tell them to get used to it. It was something that came with being a soldier. Things would haunt you until the day you die. And at first, he’d been like this with Eren. Even after they’d gotten so close, he’d always tell him to suck it up. He wasn’t special when it came to crying about nightmares because he could shift into a titan. Maybe it was terrifying, but it gave him no reason to scream or yell more than anyone else.

But then Rivaille had a night where he couldn’t sleep. So he watched Eren. He was unusually silent. And then Eren was crying, which was also unusually silent. He’d usually be screaming along with the tears.

Rivaille reached out and wiped them away with his thumb. Eren’s eyes opened and he looked at Rivaille for a moment, opening his mouth to say something. Rivaille simply shook his head and pulled him closer.

Since then, whenever Eren had a nightmare, whether it be of his mother being alive or not, Rivaille would pull him close rather than be harsh and tell him to get used to it.

It would take a few hours, but Eren would eventually fall asleep. Rivaille always took the opportunity to kiss the top of his head, burying his face in the other’s hair.

Come sunrise, they’d both be sound asleep.