Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Brienne stared soundlessly at the little stick in front of her, feeling her entire world crashing down on her. The nurse rested his hand on her shoulder as he let Brienne process that she was pregnant.

Walda had forced her to go to student health after her stomach bug had gone on for weeks. Now all she wanted to do was go home to Tarth; there was too much to think about and more importantly she wanted her father. She had never wanted him so desperately in her life.

Chapter Text

Jaime was sure that he and Brienne had broken a new record; his phone sat silent and lifeless on his desk as he stared at downtown King's Landing.

After she'd missed dinner three nights ago with no call or text he'd knocked on her door with their takeout only to find that she'd flown to Tarth.

Walda had said there was an emergency but she didn't know what it was. He'd called her nonstop on her cell and at Evenfall with no response.

The longest they'd go with no communication was the three hours of classes she TA'ed on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And even then he managed to still get brief irritated responses if he pushed his luck. Three days of silence meant something was wrong.

Chapter Text

The wooshy thump of the baby's heart beat still pounded in her ears as she touched the ultrasound pictures the doctor had given her. The baby was more of a bean with nubs for fingers and toes. Her father sat across from her trying not cry, whether in disappointment or happiness, she couldn't guess.

"Does this mean you'll go through with the pregnancy then?"

"Yes, I'm so sorry dad."

"Gods no sweetling, I'm so happy. We'll figure everything out. Us against the world remember?"

Chapter Text

He felt physically ill, Tyrion had tried to reason with him to no avail. Brienne had stayed on Tarth for two weeks, she'd finally responded to his seventieth call to say she was okay but she sounded terrible. They'd gotten the stomach virus at the same time but he'd gotten better in a matter of days while it seemed hers held out. All he could think was that it was something terminal, she wouldn't stop classes and go home unless she was gravely ill.

He rubbed his stump over his face, thinking of their only night together when he'd convinced her to come to Lannisport for the Westerlands Cup Finals. When the Lions had scored a one-nil victory over the Iron Islands in the last minute, the stadium had erupted and all was right with his world. His best friend was screaming her head off next to him, work was finally getting manageable and he'd gotten a new prosthetic that allowed him to control the individual fingers from a specialist in Braavos.

After celebrating downstairs in the bar of their hotel they'd gone up to the suite and collapsed on Jaime's bed reliving the game, he'd kissed her first and she'd tentatively kissed him back.

It wasn't until they were naked and too many steps ahead of logic and common sense that his brain tried to caution him but he pushed through the barrier that ended her virginity and changed their friendship.

The next morning had been awkward, in no small part because he hadn't thought ahead. His impulsiveness didn't give him the words needed to tell her he'd wanted her as more than his friend.

It was Brienne that had put it down to them being drunk, which was a flimsy excuse, neither were big drinkers but one glass of beer wasn't enough to make either drunk. He took the excuse so that they could go back to being friends until he could make sure she understood his true feelings for her. Brienne was high-strung and one wrong word or an ill timed quip from him would have ended the only truly good thing he had.

To think that chance was gone, hurt more than loosing his hand had.

Chapter Text

Brienne watched as Tarth got smaller the further her plane flew away, she thanked the Father and the Crone for Selwyn Tarth and his ability to love her no matter what. He'd managed to make her think she could do this, with his help.

She would have to contact Volantis University and withdraw her acceptance for the PhD program, the one thing she'd worked for her entire life, gone. There was no one to blame, she knew condoms failed and should have gotten an emergency pill but the thought never occurred to her. Having sex with Jaime had never occurred to her until they were undressing each other with clumsy hands and overcharged hormones. Brienne closed her eyes to try and not stress herself, she would see him soon enough.

Chapter Text

Jaime felt panic and such overwhelming relief he collapsed into the chair. He looked at the ultrasound picture again and wanted to cry, she wasn't sick, she was just being Brienne. A baby, a blue eyed, freckled giant. He couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face, they still had a chance

Chapter Text

A violent anger Brienne hadn't known she was capable of made her strike Jaime's father, hard.

The instant her palm connected with his cheek, he growled and stepped away from her.

He'd shown up at Jaime's to interrogate her; and then he tried to buy her off and referred to her unborn baby as a bastard. She was used to mockery at her expense but to think this vicious man would insult her child wasn't something she could abide. He stood looking at her with the same steely gaze as his son.

"Young lady, that was beneath you and uncalled for."

"Call my son anything except for his name and you'll find out precisely what's beneath me."

"I can see why my son is so taken with you."

"Your son is doing what he thinks is best for his son. No more, no less."

"Do you think leaving your infant to go off to Volantis is what's best for him?"

Brienne waned at that; she didn't think it was best but Jaime had insisted she still go. His argument was she'd only need to be in Volantis for the first two years, possibly two and a half years and between her father and him, the baby would be well looked after and then she'd come home on all breaks and they would make it work.

In the beginning it had been a life raft to her sinking dreams but the closer the time came to meet their baby, the less it made sense. He'd be six months old when she started and almost three by the time she'd be back in King's Landing permanently.

"No, no I don't." She hadn't wanted to cry in front of the dour man before her but her tears came unbidden and she slumped into the sofa.

Chapter Text

Jaime watched in silent awe as his son screamed for all of Westeros to hear, the golden curls matted on his scalp pronounced him Lannister better than any name could. Brienne looked pale and tired as the nurses wiped her face but she looked the happiest he had seen her in almost a year.

He presented Duncan to a waiting room full of Lannisters, Tyrion had already made the rounds with wine and cigars and Daven was telling an obscene joke that made his Aunt Genna grab him by the ear. He'd assumed his father would be absent but saw him in a corner with General Tarth. Had he known in the beginning the man had four inches and a solid fifty pounds of army trained muscles on him, he would have made it a priority to marry Brienne first.

The stubborn wench had refused to marry him when he'd asked the first time, assuming he only asked for the baby's sake. They compromised and she moved out of her place with Walda and agreed to stay with him so he could at least take care of her and Duncan. Having her under the same roof was a slow form of torture. His left hand and cold showers had become an important part of his daily routine

Chapter Text

Duncan looked more and more like Jaime every day but his eyes were unmistakeable as the only thing he had taken from his mother. Jaime said he had her mouth as well but only time would tell.

Her short time with him was barreling to the end too fast, two more months and she'd be in Essos, away from the person she loved most in the world. Her first break wouldn't be until the end of the semester and that was four months after she left.

The crushing despair she felt was akin to what her father had gone through each time he was deployed and she had to stay with her nanny. She could do this, she was nothing if not her father's daughter. Her father would stay with Jaime until she returned, her Evenstar had now become her son's.

Chapter Text

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Bear just went back down, teething is kicking his arse and mine. Your dad wanted to rub whiskey on his gums for fuck's sake."

He watched Brienne try not to laugh, obviously this was a known quirk and unsurprising to her. The copious papers and books laid out in front of her all had neon sticky notes stuck to them with her precise handwriting.

"Dreaming in High Valyrian yet?"

"Gods I can barely read in High Valyrian; my pronunciation is off and I sound like I'm using Old Ghiscari words. And it's so hot here; I have to take at least two cold showers a day."

"Tyrion says it smells like an old whore."

"He would know. It's only bad near the water. My tutor took us all on an elephant ride when we started the semester and that was horrid. Humidity and feces don't blend well."

"Bear would fit right in; he shit all over me yesterday. He was pleased with himself." Jaime covered a yawn with his stump.

"Jaime no!"

"Oh yes, your dad laughed so hard he fell off his stool. I have to go sleep, I have FaceTime set up on the computer in the office for your dad so you can see Bear later, love you B."

The stricken look on her face played in his head until morning

Chapter Text

Brienne stood in Fishermonger's Square waiting for her fish to be cleaned and beheaded at her favorite stall. She looked at the pictures of Duncan's first Name Day again.

It was a perfect, albeit Lannister filled, weekend. The quiet party she had thought they were having had turned into a literal tourney.

Tywin Lannister apparently did nothing by halves and had rented the Old Tourney grounds outside of King's Landing and put on an actual joust. Daven, Addam, Jaime and her father had enjoyed the jousting far too much, Aunt Genna's sons not too far behind them.

She circled back to the picture of Jaime kissing her after he'd beaten Lancel.

Chapter Text

Duncan crawled away from his desk towards the door to escape. He could make his way to Tyrion's office by memory now and crawled unbothered until he could beat on the door.

"Bear come back; Uncle Tyrion isn't here today."

"Duncan."

"Paaaaaaaaa"

Jaime stood in the doorway while Duncan speed crawled to Tywin, glee on his face. Blue eyes bright and shining as he pulled himself up on his grandfather's pant leg.

For all of his objections to Brienne and bastards, anyone on the outside would think Duncan had been one of his machinations.

Cersei had despised Tywin's favoritism towards him almost their entire lives, even when he'd been too stupidly in love with her to realize. Her disdain now fell to their father's more than obvious favoritism towards Duncan.

Tywin tolerated Robert and Joffrey but he doted on Duncan, going so far as to bring him to board meetings, counting his freckles or holding his sleeping mass, daring anyone to reproach him.

"Jaime."

"Father."

"Come, we have business to discuss."

Chapter Text

Twenty pages complete on the Doom of Valyria written in High Valyrian had Brienne's sense of accomplishment through the roof as she delivered her essay.

Her language proficiency requirement was now fully met, one more item off of her checklist and one step closer to going home.

Her committee had approved of her accelerated path after reviewing her MA course work and once she started independent study she was going home.

She'd only been with Duncan six months and sporadic weekends and breaks. It would be time for his second Name Day when she started her final in person course.

It would be harder not to have access to the historical sources she needed at her immediate disposal and fellow scholars who understood High Valyrian but her worldview had expanded thanks to her time away from Tarth, away from the safety of King's Landing.

Her heart now belonged more to the golden haired rascal than her dream of staying in Volantis. Her research could be done anywhere and flying back to Volantis for two weeks as needed was much more palatable than more time away from her son.

Chapter Text

The giant man standing next to his seat looked at Jaime with pity. Duncan had been crying nonstop from Myr and they were only halfway to Volantis now. They'd walked the plane, watched videos, Jaime had even begged to no avail. He was tired and inconsolable; he in turns wanted Selwyn or Tyrion or Pa, all resting comfortably in King's Landing as Jaime sat under the shadow of a hulking man with a burn scar on half of his face.

Brienne's apartment in Old Volantis was in a converted manse; he'd found it online with Tyrion's help before she'd left King's Landing. It had looked cozy in the pictures and was within walking distance to the university. Seeing it in person now, they'd chosen the right place.

He'd timed their arrival before she would leave for the day so they wouldn't get stuck in the sweltering heat. He brought everything they'd need for at least a month and he figured he could buy any necessities along the way. He heard her footsteps across the tiled floor and his heart sped up.

"Jaime?"

"Mama! Mamamamama." Duncan scrambled out of his arms and latched onto Brienne like an octopus, her tears soaking his hair.

"Surprise."

Chapter Text

Jaime had joked this morning with her advisory committee that he was just a well heeled live in boyfriend and looking at him do his nightly routine with Duncan would prove his words true. Except he wasn't her boyfriend; he still held the place as the greatest friend she would ever have in her life. He'd vacated his job and uprooted himself once she'd voiced how miserable she was without Duncan.

Every day she could come home to her son and his wide mouthed kisses and discover the small constellation of freckles he had scattered over his still slightly chubby baby body that was leaning out the taller he grew, meant the world to her.

"I lion daddy, raawrrr!"

"Can you be a good lion and let daddy wash your mane?"

"No! Dat yucky, Bear no have listen to daddy."

"Says who?"

"Pa! Pa big lion, Bear not big lion."

Brienne snorted as Jaime rolled his eyes and proceeded to wash Duncan's hair anyway, getting wet from head to toe for his trouble.

Chapter Text

Jaime knew he was an oddity strolling through the museum with Bear and their playgroup.

He'd stumbled on the group of women at a park near the apartment the week prior and was invited to join them for their weekly outings when they found out he stayed at home.

His Volantene was gibberish at best, even with Missandei's help, and he had to depend on his translation app and the few in the group who spoke a little of the Common Tongue.

"Does your husband work in Old Valyria?" This from a small dark haired, heavily accented woman whose name Jaime couldn't remember.

"My who?"

"Husband." She said slowly in the Common Tongue.

"My girlfriend," Jaime chuckled, "goes to Volantis University. She's in the doctoral program in the ancient history department."

"Ohh!" She exclaimed, visibly shocked.

Chapter Text

"Dunc, mommy is writing."

"No! Writing yucky! Mommy play with Bear. I tell Pa mommy not play." His wide, pink bottom lip was poked so far out Brienne was afraid he would trip over it.

Jaime had gone to play football with Missandei and Dany's boyfriends and she was terrible at bedtime. Jaime could have him asleep in thirty minutes flat and she would still be on bath time. Tonight he was over an hour past and she had an essay due in High Valyrian on the Century of Blood.

"Do you want to call Pa?"

"Yes! I call Pa."

Tywin answered on the first ring and admonished her immediately for letting his cub stay up so late. His piercing green glower making her feel like an inept child.

"Young lady, when can I expect a wedding?" Tywin demanded after he'd done the bedtime song, that Brienne had completely forgotten about, and Duncan had gone to sleep. "You'll be back in King's Landing in the fall yes? I've been more than patient while my son let you gallivant in Essos as though you have no responsibilities."

"What?" Brienne screeched, almost dropping her iPad. "Jaime and I, we, there will be no marriage."

Tywin pinched his nose and released a deep, long sigh.

"I must go. By the Gods, you two are going to be the death of me."

Brienne carried Duncan into the small room that was his, an old sewing room they'd converted and put in a small crib so he would have a bed and somewhere to play. Jaime slept on the sofa bed and occasionally on the floor if Duncan had trouble sleeping. No one could understand their relationship and Brienne was tired of correcting people.

She was sure Jaime had met someone in King's Landing or maybe even now; he knew how to keep a relationship discreet from his years with Cersei. It wasn't her place to pry.

Chapter Text

"Brieennnneeeee! Come give your champion a kiss." Jaime bellowed drunkenly.

Drogo and Grey had peppered him with wine after their team won against one of the East Volantis teams. They'd stayed at the apartment long enough to get him through the door and not get in trouble with Brienne.

"Jaime what in the Seven Hells is wrong with you?" She hissed coming down the small back stairway into the kitchen.

"I need a kiss."

"You need your ears boxed."

"Call Aunt Genna, she's the expert. Drogo made me drink."

He toed off his cleats and started unlatching his prosthetic when she finally came over to help him, holding his wrist as he clumsily detached the hand. The sweat and dirt from the game had pooled underneath it.

Brienne kneeled in front of him with a towel to clean his stump when his traitorous body sent all of his blood to his cock. He was afraid to shift even a fraction and draw her attention to it. He thought of his father, her father, anything but Brienne kneeling innocently in front of him.

His heart was pounding and he cursed Grey and Drogo for dragging him into the winesink. Her gentle fingers cleaning his stump should not be arousing but by the Seven it was. The high from his win had not fully worn off and he wanted to fuck, badly. Had wanted to fuck her every day since the first and only time Brienne had let her guard down. He needed a shower and time alone with his one good hand.

Chapter Text

"When are you two getting married bro?" Drogo asked Jaime. "I need date, time and location my friend. I have my best man suit ready to go."

They were at a restaurant near the Long Bridge celebrating the end of the spring semester. Dany and Brienne were taking one more research seminar during the summer but Missandei and Grey were going home to Naath and Ebonhead.

Drogo had made them all come out to say farewell since this would be the last time they'd all be together.

"That's up to Brienne," Jaime said without missing a beat, as though it were the truth, "I serve at the pleasure of my lady."

"Get it together man, Duncan's already two, he'll be three in another six months."

"You sound like my father. Every time he calls Bear he asks when he can expect to find out his first born son has stopped shaming him so flagrantly."

"Bharbo would tie me up and have his horses pull me apart if I wasn't married before his grandkids were born man. I'd never hear the end of how we descend   from the ancient khals and our responsibilities to uphold all the cultural bullshit."

Brienne kept her eyes on the menu; hoping they'd avoid asking her any questions. They only had a few more months of this charade.

Chapter Text

"Fuck." Jaime breathed into his pillow as he came in his shirt.

Dany had taken Brienne to a dinner honoring the Targaryen family's contribution to the University and she'd come home wearing a blue dress he'd never seen before. Miles of legs in three inch heels and her now shoulder length hair set in delicate waves made him question his sanity.

The startled gasp made him open his eyes. Brienne stood red faced and panicked in the archway that separated the kitchen from the living room. She was scrubbed clean and in his favorite leggings and deep v necked shirt. He knew there was no bra underneath seeing her firm nipples like high beams.

"I'm so sorry Jaime."

"You should be." He hadn't wanted to say that but he was tired of pretending.

"What?"

Jaime finished cleaning himself and sat up. He scratched his forehead as he tried to think of the best thing to say to her.

"Do you remember when you came back from Tarth to finally tell me about Bear?"

"Y-yes." She stammered, confused by his question.

"I spent weeks thinking you were sick, something terminal. Tyrion made me stop looking up cancer symptoms because he said I was going to drive myself crazy. When you showed me the sonogram it was the second best day of my life. I wasn't losing you, not in a permanent way. You wanted Volantis and I could do that. You were still here, alive. Two years apart seemed like a gift. Then you were so unhappy being away, so I came here. But being here with you is the worst type of torture, the absolute fucking worst."

"Jaime, I'm sorry. I know you've taken on everything so I could do this, you will never know how much that means to me. I can find someone here to take care of Duncan until I'm done and you can go home."

"Are you fucking crazy? I'm not leaving you or my son. Gods Brienne! That's not what I'm talking about. I fucking love you, can't you see that? Every day I think you'll look at me like you used to. Before we went to Lannisport and I fucked up. I should have told you then. I realize that now, but you wouldn't have believed me. I don't know the right way to be in a normal relationship, I'm used to taking what's given but I should have said something then."

Her eyes were pooled with tears, fist covering her mouth as she held her sobs.

"My hand is really, really tired of taking your place."

The scandalized blushing face that got him made him smile so hard his face hurt.

Chapter Text

It was bittersweet turning her keys into the rental company on their last day in Old Volantis, she'd made great memories in her time there.

Dany and Drogo drove them to airport to see them off and promised to come to King's Landing for Duncan's next Name Day. Their wedding was planned for the spring and Jaime and Brienne would be back to stand in their wedding party.

Arriving back at Jaime's townhouse in King's Landing felt strange, going from their small one bedroom converted apartment to four bedrooms and enough space to fit her apartment was a readjustment.

Her old room was still as she'd left it and Jaime said nothing when she went there.

They still hadn't gone more than a few steps forward in their relationship and she wanted them in a place where Jaime could be Jaime before trusting that he wasn't just out of options.

Chapter Text

His father was fucking insane, that's all Jaime could think as he watched the lion tamer. No sane person would hire a traveling circus for a three year old, yet here they were.

He hadn't realized you could rent the Crownlands Airlines Arena until his father had done just that.

Every available Lannister, their friends from Volantis and Brienne's old roommate Walda had come out for the greatest show on earth. Cersei had seethed when she arrived but held herself in check under their father's scrutiny, she had brokered a terrible acquisition that Tywin had to silently fix before it became public knowledge.

Jaime watched as Tywin showed off Bear to his Uncle Gerion, back from decades of living in every one of the Free Cities.

Drogo and Tyrion were having a drinking contest with Selwyn and Daven while Brienne was off somewhere pretending not to be pissed at his father.

She hadn't moved out yet but their relationship was moving much slower than he'd wanted. If he hadn't already been conditioned to septon like celibacy he would have gone mad ages ago.

Chapter Text

"Did you get the tickets for Dany and Drogo's wedding?"

"Yes, can't believe they switched to Vaes Dothrak. Dany doesn't seem like the Dothraki wedding type."

"What's that supposed to mean? She loves Drogo; his customs are who he is."

"I know that B, but princess Dany and Dothraki wedding customs don't go together."

"We'll see."

"Can our wedding be simple? Just us and Bear and then a dinner later for everyone else. This isn't even our wedding and it's stressing me out."

"Our wedding?"

"Yes, the reason I'm dating you after we've already established a non physical emotional relationship, then an entirely too brief physical one, lived together, had a kid, co parented on two different continents and lived together again. Keep up woman. Gods don't look at me like that, my hand is tired."

Chapter Text

His assumption had been that they'd go to a nice dinner, Bear would be with Tyrion for the night and he would get to woo her into his bed. Instead he was in a dead sleep on the sofa with Bear's toe in his nose when she shook him awake to tell him they should go to bed, if not for the way her face flamed he'd have missed her meaning entirely.

Now she was writhing in his bed under onslaught from his tongue and fully cooperative left hand. His scalp was tingling from her fierce grip; he could feel each small spasm until finally she clenched around his fingers and cried out his name. Her blues eyes were wide and unfocused as she panted, Jaime wanted to see her like this every night.

"Ready?"

"Yes."

"This won't be my best work."

That got him a small upturn of her mouth

Chapter Text

Watching Grey and Jaime attempt to recite the bloodriders oath in Dothraki made Brienne hide her face behind Duncan's head. Haggo and Cohollo hid their laughter with poorly done coughs but a sharp look from one of the women in the Dosh Khaleen made them straighten up.

Brienne found she enjoyed him wearing the Dothraki leathers and nothing else very much.

She was glad that the simple ceremony she'd had to be present for did not include any leather. Missandei had found a dress that suited both of them as they stood barefoot in front of the elders earlier that morning to present Dany to her new family. She had no parents and her twin brother refused to come.

"Ki jini anha astak asqoy, anha, Drogo ki Bharbosi." Drogo stated as his father brought Dany a grey filly with a silver mane. It was more symbolic than practical but the horse was beautiful.

"Mommy I want a horse."

"You don't need a horse Duncan."

The celebration after the wedding lasted all night and was the most fun Brienne could remember having in her life. Jaime was a terrible dancer but he attacked the dances with the rest of Drogo's bloodriders to not be outdone. She sent a video for Tyrion as soon as Khal Bharbo took Duncan inside away from the noise to sleep.

As more wine flowed, the more suggestive the dances became. The Dosh Khaleen pulled Dany in the center of the open field to teach her how to get her way as a wife and Jaime danced by to tell Brienne to take notes for later. Her face flamed as he leered at her.

Chapter Text

Brienne had been in Volantis for three weeks for a conference and to find research material when she relented and agreed to marry him.

He'd tasked Drogo with being the guilt inducer on his behalf, subtlety and patience were getting him nowhere and with Dany pregnant it gave him the perfect excuse to request they get married before the summer was over.

"Any special requests?"

"Just so long as it's on Tarth I don't care Jaime. Your entire family is going to come aren't they?"

"Without a doubt."

"My dad can find a septon, I want something like Dany and Drogo's. Outside, lots of food and very relaxed. Nothing pretentious like your sister's wedding."

"Boisterous with lewd dancing, check and double check. Cloaks or no cloaks?"

"That's something both of our fathers would agree on. We have no choice."

"Are you at Fishermongers?"

"I need fish; I'm afraid to eat when Drogo cooks, he jokes too much about horse meat."

"Smart girl. Your son has a horse now."

"Gods please tell me you're joking."

"Nope, Selwyn this time. Father suggested we start equestrian lessons, to build character and proper form." Jaime mimicked perfectly.

"Where is this horse?"

"Only the best for his first grandchild my love. God's Gate Stables housed with only the top horses of the gentry. There's an access code just to park, never mind getting into the stables."

"They're disgusting individuals. By the way, Grey and Missandei are engaged now too. Drogo has apparently been hard at work making sure we all get married."

"You know Drogo."

Chapter Text

As Jaime draped his cloak across her shoulders, tears welled in Brienne's eyes at the open happiness on his face. Bear stood quietly next to Tywin as he watched the septon tie their hands together.

"In the sight of the Seven, I hereby seal these two souls, binding them as one, for eternity. Please say your vows."

"Father, Smith, Warrior, Mother, Maiden, Crone, Stranger; I am his and he is mine from this day until the end of my days.”

"Father, Smith, Warrior, Mother, Maiden, Crone, Stranger; I am hers and she is mine from this day until the end of my days.”

Jaime's kiss made her hum against his lips, forgetting that they were in the small sept in Evenfall that was now overflowing with their wedding guests.

"Should we skip right to the bedding?" Tyrion asked gleefully.

"Bit beyond that now." Tywin said picking up Duncan for emphasis.