Chapter Text
The storm was a bad one tonight. The entire city of Tipoca was on lockdown. The waves were raging higher than usual and knocking full force against the facility’s walls. The lightning shook the very foundation of the place, causing the metal to creak and roil, making its complaints known to the sky, and all huddling for shelter within. Thunder shrieked and growled in a return argument to its sister. If someone stood in the halls, he would feel the shift caused by the drastic measures of the rage of the sea. The wind howled its cries and pelted its fists of rain down on the windows. Kamino hadn’t had a storm like this in a long while. Surely, Poseidon was throwing a temper tantrum.
It was a Code Red Lockdown.
Everyone had to stay put until the danger passed.
No one was allowed to roam the halls.
You could only leave if it was an emergency.
“So, everyone ready?” Hunter asked, checking his pistol for full charges.
“Yeah! Bring it on!”
Crosshair smirked at Wrecker’s boisterous response.
“You sure big guy? Ready to lose again?”
“I won’t lose again though.” Wrecker laughed back. “This time, you’ll be the one crying.”
“Ha. Ha. Right. Nice try, though. Admire the persistence, though it won’t happen.”
“All right, ad’ike, huddle.”
“Ad’ike? Really ?” Crosshair had to roll his eyes while Hunter smirked.
“We are not children.” Tech felt the need to clarify for Hunter, lifting his correctional finger.
“You are and always will be my little siblings.”
“Awwwwwwww thanks, Sarge.” Wrecker smiled.
“How touching.” Crosshair swayed on his hip.
“What can I say, little brothers, I love ya all.” Hunter chuckled.
“For one, you could stop calling us little.” Tech reflected.
“Nah, can’t do that.”
There was a collective sigh and annoyed glances from the three designated younger brothers. Hunter coughed to call back the seriousness of the mission.
“This should be pretty routine. Go in, get the target, get out.” Hunter frowned. “If I’m being honest though, something isn’t sitting right with me about all this, so keep your eyes and ears open for anything suspicious or out of place. It could be nothing but… better to be on the safe side.”
“Sure thing, vod.” Tech was looking down at his datapad for more details already but his brows were pinched. He’d started the mantra Hunter is never wrong for a reason.
“Whatever happens, you all know what to do right?”
Crosshair sighed. “This isn’t our first mission, Hunter.”
“No, it isn’t. It is only our fifth. We still lack experience. So?”
“Complete the objective.” Tech said resoutly.
“Don’t get blown up, leave that to the Seppies.” Wrecker responded with enthusiasm.
“Still too fresh, Wreck.” Hunter pinched the bridge of his nose while his big, little brother smirked.
“Stick together. No one gets left behind.” Crosshair mumbled as he shoved past Hunter. Now his stomach felt funny.
How on earth could Hunter sleep through this storm? Crosshair thought. My head is pounding with the sound. Crosshair rolled over in his bunk to face the wall and sighed exasperated. Speaking of said brother, how was he handling this? He’d been overstimulated the last few days from tests with Nala Se; not to mention he must have felt the build up of the storm; he’d been quiet, well, quieter than usual. He still struggled to conquer his enhancement. It was a hard one to muster through….only Crosshair would know this after all, he had enhanced senses too…or sense. Sometimes just his eyes were too much to handle. How could Hunter handle all the buzzing on a regular basis? Cross didn’t know but thanked his lucky stars he didn’t have to deal with it like…
Cross rolled over again and looked out into the room. Having the blessing of enhanced eyesight meant being able to see very, very well in the dark without needing to turn the light on. Not turning the light on meant not waking brothers up. Not waking brothers up meant everyone slept and were not cranky. Crosshair could work around waking up sleeping brothers. Other brothers did not have that consideration…
Looking about the room, as clear as day, without the light on mind you (being the good brother Crosshair was) he observed his roomies who, when he was in a good and generous mood, which was most of the time, he considered brothers (especially when they keep the light off when they get up a million times a night).
Lump one was snoring really loudly, arm hooked around a little stuffed tooka Buir 99 gave him during a storm much lighter than this one. Wrecker’d been scared that night. They all were…. huddled in Hunter’s bed until it was over but Wrecker was shaken to the core. The loud noises left him with nightmares of sea creatures destroying the city. Ironically, Lula did cure Wrecker; he slept through everything now.
Lump two was curled in a perfect circle, hugging his knees and humming to himself softly. Smooshed between his chest and knees was his datapad. His goggles were hanging haphazardly on the chair next to the bunk. Not good. Tech wouldn’t have been so careless. Someone else was up. Sure enough, the bunk assigned to the only other reasonable member of the team when it came to lights out, was empty.
A flash of lightning illuminated the room. Everything was in its place, where it should be. Everything was quiet. Everything was normal…
But something wasn’t right.
And Crosshair felt his stomach twist.
Crosshair could feel it in his gut. Or maybe it was his mind playing tricks on him since Hunter said he had a bad feeling. Didn’t know. All he knew was he didn’t feel right about the situation.
“Alright, let’s be careful.” Hunter’s voice came over the comm, a little staticy but not too bad. Was it a trap?
“Ugh, stop over thinking this, Crosshair.” he mumbled to himself. “They’ll be fine. This is just routine. It’s just routine.” *Big dramatic sigh*
Crosshair moved a little where he was perched and followed the others with the scope.
“Nothing to report up here. It’s pretty dead.”
“Yeah, I know….I don’t like it.” Crosshair could hear Hunter’s scowl and concern.
“Ok dad, so what do we do?”
“Shut up, Cross.”
He couldn’t help a self satisfied smirk from coming across his face.
Hunter led the others into the ruins of the abandoned city and looked up to where Crosshair was stationed on a neighboring cliff or rather pile of rocks. It was too exposed for his liking…..He would rather have had Crosshair a little higher up on the opposite side of the city but Crosshair claimed that this spot would ‘cover their asses’ a bit better in case they ‘messed things up like usual’. But there was something about the rock structure that Hunter didn’t like….it was too perfect and not natural enough. There was something about it that didn’t sit right with him.
“Where’s the info supposed to be, Tech?”
“The contact was going to leave it on the inside of the west wall. We are near there now.”
“Seems simple enough. Why’d they have us come and do this? The regs could handle this themselves.”
“I agree with Wrecker for once.” Crosshair cut in. “There’s got to be more to it. What about booby traps?”
“I have nothing on my scanner,” Tech tapped the device a few times, “Hunter?”
The Sergeant merely had his eyes closed, focusing in on the frequencies around him, becoming one with the earth and its secrets.
He felt the vibrations of the earth’s core telling him it was happy, the beating of his brothers’ hearts, the stillness of the quiet city and the trees telling its sad story…why this place? The rock structure…there was a pounding. Pounding? No. Beeping.
Bomb.
It must have a motion activated sensor because he didn’t sense it before. How could he not see it? The rocks were in perfect formation to blow outward and rain down on the city.
“Crosshair get down from there NOW.”
Hunter didn’t care that his voice was frantic. Or that he let his brothers hear him unhinged. His little brother was perched on top of a bomb. How was he supposed to remain calm?
“Rest of you, take cover. I’m getting Crosshair.”
With that, he set off toward his vod’ika at an unnerving speed.
“Too little time. Clock’s ticking.”
Over the comm, he could hear Crosshair’s drawl, but with a nervous tint to it.
“Miss me already? I’m coming.”
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep Beep Beep. BeepBeepBeepBeepBeep. Beeeeeeeeeeeep.
Hunter’s heart was in tune with the bomb buried deep underground and he ony vaguely heard Tech confirm that he had the info secured (because of course he thought to get the info.) Hunter didn’t have time to be angry or worry about possible traps they could have encountered. All he knew was that the youngest was in danger. And he had to get to him.
“Crosshair, where the kriff are you?”
Hunter wouldn’t have left Tech’s goggles like that, not normally. Normally, he’d store them in a box in a drawer of Tech’s choosing in Tech’s cubby….which Tech never used himself always falling asleep with them on either reading or doing projects. But Hunter always did. When he woke up. And found Tech sleeping and wearing his goggles. Again. Night after night. Always.
He forced his feet to work, swinging them over the side of his bed. The doors would be locked. He couldn’t have gone far…only logical place was the fresher…unless Hunter decided he wanted to sleep in the closet for some reason. Light was off under the door but whatever, he’d check anyway.
The walk to the door felt like he was taking the journey in slow motion. His feet felt heavier with each step, as if lead were attached to the bottom of his slippers and weights kept getting added. His lungs squeezed just a bit tighter and he had to think about the act of breathing to keep it up. He knew what he would find behind the door but he didn’t. For a brief moment, he let the terror of the situation take hold of him and the blood rushed too his head.
It was quiet. Too quiet.
Except for the groan of pain that sliced through the air, the gasp and the watery exhale of a young boy who’d been crying, maybe still was.
Sure enough, just beyond the door and lying on the fresher floor, writhing with pain, was Crosshair’s brother. Clutching his head, clenching his teeth. Crosshair’s perfect eyes saw everything all too well in the dark. If only he could turn the light on and blind himself from this sight, he would.
It was the scene from one of Crosshair’s worst nightmares. Something he’d never wanted to see in person.
“Hunter, what the kriff are you doing?” Crosshair wanted nothing more than to hit his idiot brother who nearly ran over him at full speed. “I’m coming. No reason you should be here too.”
Hunter just grabbed Crosshair’s hand like he was a little child and started running back towards the others.
Crosshair normally would have dramatically snapped his wrist from Hunter’s grip and teased him for treating Cross like a child but there was something in his movements that took Crosshair off his guard. It was so sudden and unexpected and controled (and humiliating, really Hunter, he can take care of himself thank you very much) that it was unnerving.
“Tech, get the ship.” Was the only thing Hunter said into his comm or to his brothers in general. Crosshair was sure that Hunter had that same look under his helmet as he had in his eyes when they were kids, when the mean kids would come and start hitting Crosshair or Tech or Wrecker; Hunter would just become zoned in and focused. The same fear. The same calm courage that took over his heart and his movements and his words. Hunter didn’t know what he was doing as he was doing it; he was just helping his ‘little’ siblings. And that is what scared Crosshair. Because Hunter would do what he always did: protect the three of them no matter the cost to himself.
Hunter wasn’t the type of person to be knocked down; and when he was, he always got back up. He was indomitable. Undefeatable. A role model (cross out) Someone Crosshair looked up too. His ori’vod. Not that he could ever tell Hunter that…but he didn’t need to. Hunter knew.
The blood ran cold in his veins, what could be worse than this?
He wished he never asked that question because nothing gripped colder than the feeling that crept into his heart when Hunter stopped moving…and Crosshair didn’t need enhanced senses to smell the blood.
“Help! Tech, get the damn ship over here. Please…..” Crosshair’s eyes were filling with tears and he couldn’t see his brother through the helmet and the fog so he ripped the bucket off his head as fast as he could. He normally wouldn’t beg but, this was an emergency. Desperate times called for desperate measures. So what if he sounded weak to the others? Hunter was kriffing bleeding to death.
It all happened too fast. One moment they were running, the next, Crosshair heard Hunter screaming to get down. He felt his body being thrown against the city’s outer wall from a pair of hands and a body much shorter than his trying to cover his long torso.
Then the explosion.
Then the force pushing them against the wall.
Then the rainfall of rocks falling over them…..or rather, Hunter.
Hunter only tightened his grip.
“I’ve got you, Cross. I’ve got you. It’s going to be fine.”
The phrase started out like he normally said it. Calm, soothing, like a ship coming home after a long day at sea but the sun was perfect and yellow and the waves were but splashes. Next it came in grunts and gasps. But he kept saying it.
For a moment, Crosshair actually believed everything was going to be ok.
That is, until the barrage stopped and he opened his eyes.
No no no no no this wasn’t happening; this wasn’t fair. What was happening? Hunter was too good to die; but that is just it. The good ones always die. Is that why Crosshair was still here? Hunter was always there for him when he was hurt, always stood the line when Crosshair was down, always took the punch for him, always stood between who would hurt him and his own quivering body. Always did, always would.
“Hunter! What’s happening? Are you alright?” Crosshair didn’t know how his face got wet so fast (yes he did, he was crying).
Cross rushed to Hunter’s side and with a grunt, hulled Hunter’s body so it was cradled against his own, taking care that Hunter’s head was in his lap. He draped his legs to Hunter’s sides hoping his warmth would ground him.
“Shld be in bed” the tired voice responded. Eyes glued shut. Face burying itself and pressing into Crosshair’s thigh by the second.
“Like hell I am; what about you?
“Lnguge.”
“‘Xcuse me, like kriff I am. What about you?”
An amused, exasperated huff. All Hunter probably had strength for.
“Dindn’t wnt to wae anyone” was the mumbled response. “‘M fne, rlly.”
“Really. What’s this coming out of your nose and mouth?”
Crosshair reached up and turned the cold faucet on, wetting the towel conveniently sitting on the counter and brought it to his brother’s head. The way he melted into the touch made Crosshair realize that Hunter must have been trying to suck as much coolness from the tiles as he could but judging from the shivers currently wracking his body from the sweat and the tiles…he was cold too. Hunter’s body just didn’t know what it wanted other than relief from the pressure in his head.
Crosshair couldn’t hide the fear in his voice; even if he wanted to, Hunter could see right through him.
A half-hearted shrug.
Incorrigible
.
“I’ll get a doctor.”
“Don’t” a small but firm, stalky hand grabbed Crosshair’s arm. It was a good hand. A strong one. But still small.
It was the first clear word Hunter said thus far. Loud and clear. There was a hidden force of strength behind those words…perhaps Hunter couldn’t be beat after all.
“‘F they know….they’ll decommission me.”
A hint of fear, maybe, too. That’s ok. At least Cross knew he wasn’t the only one here losing his mind.
“They won’t; they’ll just get you through this, please…”
“No. It’ll be one too many times.”
Crosshair hesitated.
“Please let me get someone, anyone, 99…”
“99 can’t do anything either,” Hunter rolled over to look his brother in the eyes, somehow peeling his own open, and had the audacity to chuckle a little, “He’d only watch me helpless too. He doesn’t know anything about the medicine I would need. They’d only punish you for leaving…I can’t…” he gasped, “I can’t let you.”
Hunter, even though knocked down, was still protecting him.
“But….” tears threatened to spill again.
“Just stay with me, please.”
“But, Hunter….”
“I will.”
“Hunter, Hunter please tell me you’re still in there. Please, wake up.” Crosshair shook his brother gently, not wanting to hurt him more; but with each word more ire spilled from his mouth. “You can’t do this. You can’t leave me. What were you thinking, you kriffing idiot?”
Yes, Crosshair was angry. Angry that his brother thought faster than he did. Angry that Hunter was the one currently walking the edge of life or death and not himself. Angry that Hunter had come back for him when he didn’t need to. Crosshair should have been the only one there, with no one to cover him….. He covered his brothers. That’s his job. That’s what he does.
“It should have been me….” Crosshair drew the limp body closer to his own. Not knowing what else to do, he spat into his comm. Harassing his brothers was better than dealing with what was going through his mind at the moment.
“You’re sure taking your sweet time with that ship.”
“We are approximately 1 minute away if you care to look up.”
But he didn’t care to, because he couldn’t take his eyes off his brother. He knew logically he would eventually have to let go so Tech could take him inside and tend to his wounds but…he didn’t want to.
Crosshair had seen Hunter in pain before. Extreme pain. Thought he was going to die but this was different. He never saw Hunter wounded in battle before, and they weren’t just some dumb kids anymore. This was serious and Hunter actually could die this time.
He heard the engine. He heard the ship land. He heard the sound of his brothers behind him. But all Crosshair saw was Hunter.
Crosshair slipped his helmet back on. Only Hunter had seen his tears in the past and only Hunter would continue to see them in the future; no one else.
Crosshair’s arms gripped his older brother’s smaller frame. Small and strong, but smaller than his nevertheless.
“Don’t let go, please.”
Hunter sounded so winded, weak, heaving for breath. But somehow….he raised his arms and gripped his taller, younger brother back. Cross had to admit, it was steadying. He didn’t realize he was shaking.
“Please.”
“Never…..Don’t go to sleep.”
“I’m not going to die in my sleep” *a little chuckle* “It’s just a really bad headache….migraine…thing.”
“Incorrigible”
Cross didn’t know that he said it aloud. Since he did, he’d run with it. He made a face to match his mood.
“You learned it from me you know, what else would you expect?”
“Just….don’t go to sleep.”
“Would it make you feel better?”
A nod.
“Okay.”
“Crosshair?” Hunter tried opening his eyes, blinking them at the harsh lights (on the Marauder? He was aboard their ship right?)
“Hunter?”
An unmistakable tearstained face belonging to the youngest popped into view.
“Don’t go to sleep, Hunt. I know you want to but you can’t. Tech gave you a stimm so that should help.”
Hunter’s head buzzed. All he could manage was a groan. Stimm . Ah, that’s why he felt so weird and tingly.
“‘M. ‘Kay. ‘Fne. Hrts.”
“I know, dikuut. Don’t you dare do that again.”
“What?” Hunter arched his eyebrow and attempted a smirk only resulting in a shaky release of breath, “Save your sorry ass?”
Crosshair only looked down at his hands. “Yes.”
The smile faded.
“Cross? Talk to me, vod. You’re scaring me.”
“Excuse me? I’m scaring YOU?!” Crosshair turned to face Hunter vehemently and let as much venom drip into his words as he could, there was something in his eyes that Hunter couldn’t quite read. They were sad. Worried. Angry. But there was something else….a sense of desperation?
“You’re the one who’s hurt and you say I’m scaring you. This isn't funny. You had no business being back where you were. You should have been with the team….” Quietly he added:
“I’m not worth it, Hunter. Don’t.”
“Don’t you ever say that or even think it.” Hunter attempted to sit up but was stopped by Crosshair placing his hands over Hunter's chest and pushing him gently down with ‘the look’ of disapproval attached.
“Cross, I had every right. The squad was safe. You weren’t. Never leave a man behind, remember? Besides, you’re my brother. I’ll always come back for you. You are worth it.”
Hunter reached up and grabbed Crosshair’s shoulder.
“Vode darasuum.”
Crosshair didn’t have time to respond. A coughing fit took hold of Hunter’s body.
“Tech! Tech! He’s coughing blood. Come quick!”
The silence filled the room. The only noises were the ones coming from Hunter. The pained squeaks and groans and gasps for air….the occasional tears and sobs.
“Hurts.”
“I know, Hunt. I know”
Crosshair ran his fingers through Hunter’s hair. He knew he was the only one allowed to touch Hunter’s glorious locks, so he did when he could….to tease him or appease him…like now. Just like how Hunter did it for him when he was overwhelmed or restless. Sometimes Cross would sneak into his ori’vod’s bed at night when the nightmares were too much. This always soothed him, so when Hunter’s senses became too much, Crosshair would do it now and then in return, run his fingers over Hunter’s scalp and feel his brother relax…..Hunter would never ask and Crosshair would never tell. They just did it for each other. Because that’s what they did, watch out for each other.
“You’re really brave, you know that, right?”
Crosshair stopped.
“What…what do you mean?”
“Kid,”
“We’re the same age.”
That damn smile.
“Kid, don’t change. I know this is hard for you….but….thanks. You know I admire you, right?”
Crosshair wanted to believe that Hunter did. He wanted to convince himself that those words were true.
“Force, Hunter, you’re dying aren’t you.”
“Feels like it but no, really though….Crosshair.”
“Is he…..dying?” Crosshair asked Tech in a hushed tone. He wasn’t quite sure if it was because he was trying his voice down for Hunter, or if it was because his throat was restricted by force stopping the tears that he wanted to spill so bad. Tech finally got Hunter calmed down and now he was resting. What he really needed was a bacta tank; but they were at least a full day away from one.
“Wish I was, would be easier.” Came a mumbled response.
“Don’t you EVER joke like that.” Crosshair vehemently replied.
“Ok, wasn’t funny.”
“Damn right it wasn’t.”
“Language.”
“Language yourself.”
“You don’t look good, you should sit down.”
“Sit down? You want me to sit down?” Crosshair couldn’t help but to scrunch his face with disgust.
“Crosshair.” Tech’s voice broke through. “Come with me. Wrecker wants to sit with Hunter for a while and I could do with a little help up front.”
Hunter smiled weakly and nodded. I’m ok. Relax.
Cross just rolled his eyes and huffed after Tech to the cockpit. Tech was already in the pilot's chair when he got there so he sat silently in the co-pilot’s chair, crossing his arms and waiting for the ball to drop. Tech was going to lecture him or something about being mean to Hunter when he could be dying or something. Instead:
“I’m worried too, Cross. We’ll get him to the med station soon. I promise.”
The dirt in Crosshair’s nails suddenly became very interesting.
“It was bad enough when it was Wrecker but….I don’t know….Losing Hunter….” Tech sounded very unfocused.
Crosshair would argue with his brothers on any normal day that he was Hunter’s favorite. He would challenge them for that spot but that didn’t mean they weren’t close with Hunter too. This was just as hard on them as it was for him—well, nevermind, it was almost as hard for them as it was for him. But it was true, Hunter was special to each of them in their own way. Tech always looked to him for assurance. The big OKs. Hunter wasn’t here to give it now and save Tech from his own mind, so Crosshair knew what he had to do. He straightened his back and leaned forward.
“We won’t lose him.”
His voice was steady. Strong. Unwavering. Even he believed himself.
Crosshair saw Tech sway a little, biting his lip and pinching his eyebrows.
“We. Won’t.” he reiterated and fell back into his chair. “Because if we do, I’ll kill him.”
Tech had to smile. “You’d have to get in line.”
“Nah, you’re not cutting in front of me here.”
With a chuckle and a nod, Tech focused back on the hyperspace route and let a comfortable silence fall between them for a bit. Tech didn’t look at Crosshair but he spoke.
“I know you two are close. I can’t imagine what this is like for you. I’m sorry.”
There it was. Tech was giving the olive branch back, letting Crosshair think that he believed for a split second that he was the closest with their leader like he claimed. And Crosshair appreciated it.
“I’m not handling it good enough?” He half-heartedly joked.
“Who would?”
Tech had a point there. Then again, he’d say he always had a point.
Hunter’s eyes went wide. The energy was too much. Growing too big. Whirling, twirling then snap. The electricity burst like a thousand balloons and inside the fresher, Crosshair could hear the loud beat of thunder…
Vaguely.
Under the sound of Hunter’s scream.
“Crosshair! Crosshair! Don’t let go, please, please don’t let go.”
The tears wouldn’t stop. It was hard to tell which boy was crying more.
“I won’t. I’m not. I got you, Hunter, I got you.”
So it was that youngest of the Batch found himself hiding his head in his brother’s chest and cradling that small, strong frame that was gripping his body like it was in drowning waters.
Crosshair paced by the bacta tank. It was the middle of the night and Hunter had been in there for what felt like forever. He hadn’t moved much but was finally able to rest in the healing liquid.
The quiet was nice but a little too loud. It allowed his thoughts to race and it didn’t help that the other two brothers had finally crashed in the corner. Cross was the only one with enough animosity towards himself to stay awake. After all, it was his fault Hunter was in the tank at all. If it wasn’t for him, Hunter would have been fine. If he’d taken Hunter’s suggestion, it would have been fine. But he didn’t and here they were. The one who should have been far away from harm was wounded and the one who put them in danger was fine. Physically speaking.
Crosshair stopped and sighed, placing a hand on the glass that separated the two of them. Letting his shoulders drop vulnerably, Crosshair sighed again, only bigger this time, and he placed his forehead against the glass.
“Hunter, I know you can’t hear me but…I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. It’s all my fault. Maybe the team would be better without me, after all, I didn’t do YOU much good today. What good am I if I can’t keep you all safe like I’m supposed to.”
Crosshair turned his back on the silent floating figure and slid to the floor placing his head in his palms and rubbing. He was tired but he wouldn’t make the same mistake again. He wouldn’t go to sleep now. Even if there was nothing he could do, he could stay awake; keep vigil. After all, that is all Hunter ever asked for anyway.
“Just, y-you….you promised; you promised……” He leaned his head back and looked up, hoping the tears would just evaporate and not fall down his face.
“If you could actually hear me, I’d have some choice words for you.” But since he couldn’t he didn’t care he just shared the depths of his heart. Whatever.
“For instance, I’d say you are totally brainless for pulling such a bonehead move. Next I’d say I’d disown you for being rash when you told me a million times not to be; I’d say that one of these days your heroic syndrome is going to get yourself killed when you wouldn’t have to be.”
“But, you are the bravest person I know and I am so lucky your my brother. I know I’m difficult. Not many people can put up with me like you do…Just please wake up.”
“I got you. I won’t let go. I got you.”
Those weren’t his words though. Those were 99’s. Those were Hunter’s. They were so foreign to his tongue but oh, were they so familiar to his ears. How many times had he heard them say them to him? Now here he was….“I’m not leaving. I’m right here. Daylight isn’t so far away…just stay with me…don’t go to sleep.”
“‘M tired.”
It was too much…it was all too much….
“It’s ok, vod’ika. It’s ok.”
Crosshair felt a hand cradling the back of his head, rubbing small circles.
“I’m still alive, vod.”
Crosshair lifted his head to look Hunter in the eyes. His bloodshot eyes. Only to be promptly pulled into a keldabe.
“I told you I wouldn’t let go, give up, and I didn’t.”
The mouse droid hiding in the vent didn’t know which brother said it. Maybe it was both. Hard to tell with these two. He liked seeing them in the halls. There was something special about them, the way they watched out for each other. Watching this had been torture, but MS-9992486-04 was glad this story had a happy ending. The grey one did something nice for him once…maybe now he could return the favor……
“Not now, Wreck.” Crosshair was just staring listlessly into space now. Hunter had been sleeping in bed for some time. It had been two days since the last time his brother opened his eyes.
“Just thought you might want to borrow Lula.” Wrecker passed the stuffed plush over to him and Crosshair accepted it.
“Thanks” He looked at the thing that offered comfort to his ‘big’ brother for years and thumbed the fabric. He let it drop in his lap and hugged his knees to his chest.
“Sorry.”
“For what?”
“Is this what it was like for the rest of you?....For you feeling this twice….I don’t know.”
Crosshair didn’t answer because he couldn’t. Instead, he just squeezed Wrecker’s hand for a moment before drawing it back to rub his face.
“Never saw Hunt like this before. I guess just seeing the Sarge down has me feeling …..weird. You too?”
Crosshair sighed and let silence settle between them for a moment. He debated with himself whether or not he should keep talking, after all it was exhausting but Wrecker was here and willing to listen. By the looks of it, he wanted Crosshair to talk.
Cross realized that he must be a pretty sight. Unkept. Unslept. Slightly crazed. Days without sleep would do that to a person. Yeah, Wrecker just felt bad for him. Slightly irking but….Crosshair didn’t have the energy to fight it and before he knew what he was doing, he opened his mouth.
“This….isn’t the first time for me. I just keep thinking back and how useless I was. Things I should have done but didn’t, and even things I did do I could have done better.” He ran a hand through his hair and changed a glance at Wrecker, whose mouth was open.
“What? Hunter was hurt before?”
Crosshair felt slightly guilty at the hurt in Wrecker’s voice, as if they kept a secret of the utmost importance from him.
“Well, sort of. Remember that night of the storm?”
“THE storm?”
“Yeah…..”
“Hunter?.....”
“Remember when 99 said that he took Hunter to medical to help him deal with his headache? Well, it was more than a headache. He was up most the night…on the fresher floor. And. It wasn’t….he wasn’t…..he was hurting.”
Crosshair was twisting his hands, rubbing and tugging his fingers. It was a lot for a boy his age to handle…it would be for anyone. Crosshair didn’t realize just how much it had affected him. This whole catastrophe was really bringing out the trauma he thought he hid so well. Crosshair never knew what it was like to be so torn, so held by the past that it froze the present and the future. He noticed how he would watch Hunter a little more closely after that, tune into his cues to make sure he was ok; that he was quicker to ask him if he needed to get out of loud places sooner.
“You were there? With him? When that happened? Erm….”
“Yeah. It’s just….I keep thinking….”
Wrecker just wrapped his arms around Crosshair as if to say I’m so sorry you had to go through that alone. I know how hard this is for you. I’m here for you.
Just this time, Crosshair would allow it.
‘“Don’t you dare scare me like that again, Hunter”
“No promises.”
The look.
“But I’ll do my best….only if you stay out of trouble. Deal?”
“We got to stay awake. . . we got…to . . .stay . . .” Both exhausted from pain and emotion, drifted into a dreamless sleep.
Day three and Hunter was still not awake. He sustained some serious injuries, internal and external, the nurse said. Obviously . Anyone could see that. His NOT waking could possibly be a sign of that?
Hunter would say if Crosshair could roll his eyes any further back, they’d be stuck there.
He kept testing that theory. All results are negative so far. All the more reason to keep trying, since the rest gave him plenty of opportunity to.
On one side, Tech was tapping away on his datapad, on the other, Wrecker was trying to stay distracted by eating little bits of what the medical cafeteria offered.
“I think this bean burrito tastes better than the one on Kamino.”
“Not hard to be.” Tech responded without looking up.
“But it is still not as good as this soup. The soup is good.”
“What’s in it?” Tech looked over the bed at Hunter’s food tray covered with Wrecker’s snacks, mild interest in his eyes.
“I….don’t really know. Some sea food thing. But it has a spicy base but it isn’t too spicy and it is creamy. Hunter will like it when he wakes up.”
The room froze at that comment. Every muscle in Crosshair’s body went tense and his eyes went wide. His head snapped up to meet Wrecker’s guilty eyes and Tech’s uncertainty.
None of them knew what to do.
Crosshair moved his jaw, attempting to say something, anything. He didn’t know what. He had to break the silence somehow.
“I….” Tech cleared his throat and returned his eyes to the dadapad. “I could….try to find the recipe. I am sure you are right, Wrecker. Hunter will want some good tasting soup to eat while he mends. Good thinking.” He offered Wrecker an encouraging smile. Wrecker returned it and dropped his own eyes.
Crosshair sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Three days without sleep was really doing him in.
“Perhaps you would like to lay down for a bit, Cross?”
Tech made the mistake of asking him that question two days ago only to be eaten alive. Crosshair knew Tech meant well and apologized (in his own way) later on. Tech accepted it and hadn't brought up the topic since…but Crosshair could feel Tech watching him. Pitying him. Imploring him with those honey eyes of his to just rest. Tech tried to be discreet about it but Crosshair was too observant, and sitting in the vantage point to see everything in the room at all times, Crosshair didn't’ miss anything.
“Perhaps you’d like to show me where you got that soup, Wrecker?”
Crosshair caught the flicker of Tech’s eyes in his direction before sending them to Wrecker’s.
“Uh, yeah, sure. You will like it too. Maybe we can find Cross some toothpicks while we’re at it. Want some, Cross?”
Crosshair blinked. What?
Oh. He hadn’t chewed one since before the mission. Tech was constantly trying to break him of the habit to no avail so far.
“Yes, I believe we should start in the mess hall and work from there. We’ll be a bit, Cross. Is that ok?”
“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” Crosshair waved his hand noncommittally. “To both. Don’t forget the toothpicks.”
Wrecker smiled.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, buddy. Keep an eye on him while we’re gone?”
Crosshair saw the weariness in Wrecker’s face—and the kindness. He nodded.
“We’ll be a bit, so, you can do as you please here. I’ll leave my datapad unlocked.”
It wasn’t hard to read what Tech was so delicately trying to say.
“Get lost already. He won’t die on my watch.”
“He’s not the one I’m worried about.” Tech’s eyes betrayed him more often than not. This time they read: spend some time alone with him. I know you need it. But you need sleep, you dikuut.
Cross would have rolled his eyes at him again but Tech left quickly, followed by Wrecker.
Yeah, Crosshair knew what they were doing but he was grateful nonetheless.
Once they were gone and Crosshair could no longer hear their footsteps down the hall, Crosshair carefully climbed into Hunter’s bed. The heart monitor beeping rhythmically and the sound of Hunter’s breathing was the only noise in the room.
“I got you.”
Crosshair slid under the covers. His aching bones and weary muscles protesting his movements and the tiny voice in his brain asking him why he didn’t do this earlier.
He slipped an arm around Hunter and cradled his body like he did when they were cadets.
“Ok, do you want music or a story?” Crosshair lifted Tech’s datapad and started to flit through the files.
“How about a short story.”
So Crosshair read to the silent, unmoving form beside him. He’d laugh at parts, scoff at others, and no, certain books never made him cry ever.
He sighed.
His throat was tight and sore from reading. His eyes had a dull pain behind them and he could feel it traveling to the back of his head. His neck felt like someone tied knots starting at the base of his skull traveling downward. Somehow, someone must have put sandbags on his chest because breathing was difficult.
He held Hunter a little tighter and rested his head on top of his ori’vod’s; slowly but suddenly, Crosshair fell fast asleep.
99 followed the little mouse droid through the halls. It wouldn’t stop beeping at him and flashing its little red lights. In truth, he looked like he would have exploded if 99 didn’t follow him. So on they went through the empty halls of Kamino.
“Beep bep bap.”
“In here, little fellow?” 99 pointed to the Batch’s door. “Thanks for getting me.” 99 bent over and patted the droid where he supposed the head was and walked inside, immediately seeing the two empty bunks.
Hm, not good.
He saw the droid zip to the fresher door.
Crosshair’s head was heavy. He didn’t want to move it. In fact, he didn’t want to move anything. He was curled up comfortably in bed, next to something warm.
Or really, he was gripping something warm and it was gripping him back. Reality of the situation pulled him from his dreamy state to full alert.
Shit. When did he fall asleep?!? He didn’t mean to….again. He just meant to close his eyes for a little to stop the aching.
He jolted up and looked down to find a pair of grey eyes smiling up at him.
“Hey, careful. I was sleeping.”
Crosshair choked down a sob.
“You’re awake!”
“Unfortunately. That was the best night of sleep I had in a while.”
“Because it was THREE, Hunter. THREE.”
Hunter knit his brows and took his brother’s appearance in fully for the first time.
“You…haven’t slept in days, have you.” Hunter gave Crosshair a stern glare which melted into something softer. “Come here.”
“I-I didn’t mean to go to sleep this time too. I just…”
“Hey. It’s ok.”
“No it’s not.”
Hunter sighed.
“I’m alive. You’re all safe. The mission was a success…Tech did hand the info over, right?”
Crosshair rolled his eyes. “Yeah.”
“All’s well that ends well.”
“Easy for you to say.”
Crosshair looked down.
“Hunter,” his voice was barely above a whisper, “you scared me. You promised…”
“What? You didn’t stay out of trouble. You got to hold up your end of the deal, first, Crosshair.”
Crosshair had to huff out a smile.
“I’ll always be there to get you out of trouble. I can promise you that.”
“Not if you die.”
“Nah, if I die, I can haunt you. It’ll give me a change to get you back for all the stupid stuff you do.”
“And if I die first?”
“No chance.”
“Well, if I would?”
“Haunt me will ya? I’ll miss that stupid grin on your face when you say ‘I told you so.’ I hope there'll be toothpicks in the afterlife. For both our sakes. I don’t want to hear you complaining.”
“Yeah me too, otherwise I’m not dying.”
“Sounds good to me, vod’ika.” Hunter smiled.
Crosshair smiled back. He curled up beside his brother once more and sighed.
“Vode darasuum.”
Hunter wrapped his arms around his little brother and ran his fingers through his hair.
“Vode darasuum.”
On the inside, what he saw warmed his heart and made it go cold at once. One boy hunched over, cradling the other. Both cold, shivering from being on the tile floor all night, and tear stained. One look at Hunter told him what kind of a night he’d had….and Crosshair? Well, it wasn’t hard to guess by the fear in his eyes what passed through his head the entire night. The guilt ridden there…..oh child.
“He wouldn’t let me leave him, Buir 99. I wanted to get you but…”
“It’s ok, I’m here now….Let’s get him over to medical.”
Crosshair choked.
“I let him fall asleep. I was supposed to keep him awake but I let him fall asleep. I fell asleep. Did…. Did he die? 99, did I let my brother die?”
And so the sobs came again and fresh tears fell down his face.
“He’s breathing son, see?”
“But he’s not waking.”
The deep circles under Hunter’s eyes told they’re own story.
“He’s probably just in shock. Let’s get him to medical just in case. Might be a coma, might just be deep sleep after a long night.”
“Hunter says he’ll be decommissioned.”
“I won’t let them do that, son.”
Crosshair spotted the droid; his eyes opened just a bit wider. He knew this droid. This is the one the Reg wanted to crush but he stopped him….
“Thanks” was all he could whisper.
The cheery beep was all he needed in response.
“Come on now, Crossy. Let me take him.”
“No.”
99 stopped. “What, son?”
“I promised him I wouldn’t let go.”
How could 99 not smile?
“That’s a promise you must keep. Yes, I agree. Let me help you though.”
Crosshair didn’t know how he did it but 99 scooped both the boys up in his arms. Perhaps the love of a father gives you more strength than you actually had. Who knew the extent of those powers. No one, really. Crosshair was just glad Buir 99 had them.
Hunter was discharged from the hospital after another week passed. The doctors told Tech that Hunter would have to take it easy, so no hard missions for a bit. It was the perfect time to go on shore leave anyway. They’d just finished a long run anyhow. A break was in order…it just took Hunter getting wounded for their authorization to be passed so quickly.
“Hey, how you doing?” Hunter sat next to Cross, watching the sun go down over Coruscant. Coruscant could be quite beautiful, if you looked at it from the right angle at the right time…..namely sunset on a skyline in the highest part of the city.
Wrecker and Tech went to explore the exhibits and restaurants that building alone had to offer. Hunter was tired and didn’t want to aggravate his wounds so he stayed behind; Crosshair, reluctant to leave his side, made some sort of excuse as well.
“Great.” Crosshair didn’t take his eyes off the horizon. All the oranges and pinks and reds turning into blues and purples actually gave him some semblance of peace.
“You did this when we were kids too, you know.”
“What?” Crosshair side-eyed his brother.
“Hovered. I promise, I’m not going to die the minute I leave your sight.” Hunter chuckled. “But all the same, thanks….for always staying. Glad to know someone is keeping an eye on me.”
Crosshair chuckled. “Someone has to have your back. You certainly don’t.”
“I’m sorry.”
Hunter sounded so grave. His voice deepened at those two words that Crosshair fully turned to look at him. Hunter wouldn’t meet his eye.
“I-I heard what you said…and I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have had to go through that again and…I just…” Hunter ran his hand through his hair. “I only wanted to keep you safe.”
“Heard me what?”
Hunter shrugged. “Most of the time. On the ship and in the tank. After they took me out and I was in bed….that part’s fuzzy but I remember the rest of it.”
Crosshair looked down. He hadn’t meant for Hunter to hear his ranting.
“Um….”
“Cross, you didn’t do anything wrong. It is hard to accept when there are things we can’t do but I need you to learn. You have to learn to accept when things are beyond your control. It’s war. Things are going to happen whether we like it or not. Sometimes we won’t be able to help what happens and I don’t want to see you torturing yourself over it….Don’t blame yourself for falling asleep. You were awake for three days. I ought to discipline you for that.” Hunter smiled briefly and saw a reflection of it on Crosshair’s face, “You are a valuable part of the team, Crosshair, and you do more good than you know. You’re not a failure. I’m the one who failed you. I’m sorry.”
Crosshair watched as tears gathered in his brother’s eyes and how he tried hard to suppress them without wiping them away. The turmoil in his own chest had to match the man’s sitting next to him. Crosshair reached his arm over and gripped Hunter’s shoulder.
“And no, Cross, I’m the lucky one to have you for a brother. Thanks, for always being there.”
Crosshair could only nod, that darn lump forming in his throat.
Because he couldn’t talk, and wasn’t good with words anyway, he let his actions speak for him. Crosshair pulled Hunter into a keldabe.
Crosshair chuckled and lifted the heavy mood.
“We’re both sorry, and said it enough to last the end of the millenia.”
Hunter huffed a little laugh in return.
“Yeah, at least we have time to work on it; right?”
“Right.”
“I can’t promise it won’t happen again…it’s war. And I know I can’t prevent you from getting hurt in the future but I’ll do my best.”
“Same.”
They pulled back and rested their backs against the side of the building.
“Toothpick?” Hunter extended a hand full and Crosshair grinned.
“Absolutely.”
Crosshair placed one between his lips and he saw Hunter do the same.
“Tech’ll kill me, but I think it’s worth it.”
Crosshair crossed his arms.
“Why are you feeding my bad habits?”
“Eh, could be worse.”
Crosshair threw his hands up “That’s what I keep saying!”
“But, if you get a sliver in your mouth….”
“Yeah, yeah; I just won’t tell Tech.”
“That’s why I’m here.”
“Yup. And when Tech finds out…keep him from killing me. Otherwise, when I haunt you in the afterlife, I’ll steal all your bandanas.”
Hunter threw his head back and laughed into the cool, night air. As the sun went down, it smiled on the two brothers, joking, laughing, and healing. They were in the best of hands: each other’s.
Crosshair never left Hunter’s side; when he woke up, he was still in Crosshair’s lap.
“I knew it, thanks vod.”
“I …..” Crosshair stammered. “I didn’t do anything. The mouse droid is the one who got 99. I almost let you die. I couldn’t even keep you awake. I should have gotten help but….”
“Vod, you did everything right. Thanks for staying.”
“Hunter,” Crosshair’s throat was never tighter, “I ….”
“No, stop. I needed you to stay, nothing else. I would’ve been fine. In pain but fine.”
“I beg to differ.”
“Shut up.”
Hunter reached out and brought Cross’s forehead to his own.
“Vode darasuum.”
“Vode darasuum.”
Brothers for eternity.
Kriff, 99 loved these boys so much. They were the reason the galaxy would be alright.The love, the loyalty, the bond. 99 had seen bonds between brothers before but nothing compared to these two. They were the little bit of good worth fighting for. He worried about them sometimes, going off to war, to where he couldn’t see them or help, when they were inevitably left behind while he marched far away but…
Yeah, they’d be alright, as long as they had each other.