Chapter Text
Luz, King and Eda as well as some others, were groaning as they clutched their heads. Everyone was looking at them, concerned. Though the show continued playing despite their predicament.
[ Open on the Owl House. Wind howls as it moves Luz's open and creaking window. ]
Luz : [ rolls over, breathes heavily ]
Willow asked, “Luz, are you alright?”
She can only groan in response. The pain was so severe, like something was trying to break out of her skull. And she couldn’t help but double over.
[ Flashback to events of the previous episode: Owlbert hopping through the portal door in Eda's tent with a sack in his beak, Luz running through behind him .]
Luz: Stop adorably hopping away, you... Huh?
As suddenly as the headache came, it disappeared. And Luz rubbed her head to try to ease her dizziness.
[ Cut to the living room, the first time Luz entered. ]
Eda : Welcome to... [ snaps fingers ] ...the Owl House.
She looked up at the screen, and she gasped.
Luz: [ gasps ]
[ Cut to Luz's first staff ride, whimsical music playing over the scene. Cut to present ]
Luz: [ wakes up with a gasp and looks around the room ]
She can remember what happened.
Not just watching it, but she remembers being there. She remembers her reckless decision to chase after Owlbert. She remembers meeting King and the Owl Lady. She remembers breaking into the Conformatorium and breaking other prisoners out. She remembers choosing to stay.
She looked up and asked, “Hey demon guy, what was that?”
The others who have also been affected were looking at the ceiling questioningly.
The demon guy appeared, smirking like a deranged cat, and said, “I may have forgotten to tell you that after each ‘episode’, you will start getting your memories back. But only if you appear in the show.”
King : [ snoring ]
Luz: It wasn't a dream! [ opens the window ]
Eda, having already recovered from the headache, asked, “Did you seriously dream what happened yesterday?”
Luz shrugged, she had moments like that before and even she doesn’t understand why it happens.
Good morning, terrifying fantasy world.
Monster: [ waving at her ] Good morning. [ sinks into the ocean ]
“What the heck is that thing?” She asked, eyes widening in fright.
“I don’t know, I’ve never seen that before.” King, on her lap, said.
She looked at Eda, who shrugged as well. Did they seriously not know anything about that?
Luz: Ughhh.
King: [ snoring ]
Luz: [ picks up King ] Good morning, you little cutie‐pie. [ kisses his head repeatedly ]
King: I am not your cutie‐pie!
King, who was still in her lap, looked up at her and asked, “Can you let me go now?”
“Not a chance cutie-pie.” She answered as she cuddled him closer to her chest, eliciting a groan of defeat from the tiny, tiny baby.
Luz: Yes, you are. [ hugs him tightly before putting him back down on her sleeping bag. ]
King: [ sighs ] I know.
[ Cut to Luz, fully dressed, opening the bathroom door. Several owls fly out of it, hooting. She watches them fly away before entering, walking backwards. ]
“What were those things doing in your house?” Luz asked and Eda shrugged.
“They sneak in sometimes.”
Hooty : Hi, Luz!
Luz: [ screams and karate chops Hooty's face ]
Hooty: Ow! I'm just wishing you a good morning. [ retreats to the front door ] Jeez! Hoot! Ow!
“Sorry Hooty.” She said.
“Its alright, not the first time that happened.” Hooty said and she and Lily look at Hooty, concerned.
Luz: Sorry, Hooty. [ Looks at the bathroom counter and picks up her Azura book . Flips it open to a headshot of Azura and holds it up to the mirror ] This is it, old girl. Your first day on the Boiling Isles, as a Witch Apprentice. [ punches the air ] Hyah! [ opens a closet door while covering her eyes ] Please have witchy clothes. Please have witchy clothes. Please have witchy clothes. [ takes her hand off her eyes and sees a closet full of stereotypical witchy stuff ] Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! [ screams ]
Eda raised an eyebrow and she asked, “What were you cheering about?”
Luz answered, “Those weren’t witchy clothes?”
[ Cut to Luz writing "Witch Apprentice Luz" on a name tag and sticking it to her chest. She is now wearing a robe and what looks to be a witch's hat as she stands at the bottom of a staircase. ]
“We’re witches but we don’t wear anything like that.” Eda said and Luz frowned. “Plus, I’m pretty sure that’s just a bathrobe and a traffic cone.”
Luz: [ squeals ]
[ Toilet flushing. Eda's shadow appears on the wall before she steps into frame. ]
She saw Eda blushing as some of the younger audiences chuckled at the sight.
Eda: [ yawns ] Hmm?
“You were never a morning person.” Lily muttered and Luz raised an eyebrow.
Hooty chuckled, “I know Lulu, I always stay away from her in the mornings. She tends to be cranky.”
She have already guessed that Lily must be some sort of an evil bad guy. Probably the ‘Big Bad’s Number Two, but she was surprised to hear that she had a connection with Eda, her mentor.
Do they have a secret past? Did they grew up together? Her mind ran through various scenarios in her head, from them being raised together in the ‘bad guy’s faction, to them being past lovers, torn apart by loyalty to the ‘dark lord’ and the other’s desire to be free.
Whatever the case, she can already tell that she was going to enjoy uncovering her mentor’s mysterious backstory.
Luz: Good morning, Eda the Owl Lady. I am ready for my first day of Witch Apprenticeship.
Eda: Ugh! [ shakes spiders out of her hair, picks another one out of her ear ] Who are you, again?
Luz blinked, surprised.
Luz: Huh? [ stares in horror as her name tag falls to the floor ]
Luz: [ following Eda into the kitchen ] Remember me? Luz? [ grunts as a coffee cup hits her in the back of the head ] We freed the oppressed and defeated the evil warden together? Yesterday?
Said Warden grunted, “You got lucky.”
Eda: Kid, lay off the details. I haven't even had my cup of apple blood yet.
Luz: You mean apple juice?
Eda: No.
[ Eda sits on the kitchen table and drinks from her mug. King is sitting in a high chair and stabbing a fork into a yellow blob with eyes sitting on a plate. ]
She was disgusted by what was on King’s plate and she asked, “What were you eating?”
“Jelly eyeballs, one of my favorites.” King said, “Its delicious if you don’t let them harden.”
Luz: Teach me some spells. When do I get a magic staff? Was I supposed to bring my own runes? [ gasps ]
“Runes?” Eda asked.
“So I’m guessing that’s not a part of the Boiling Isles’ magic system?” Luz asked and Eda shook her head.
Do you have a dangerous magical quest for me?
Her mom, who have remained silent after she saw that her past self chose to stay, glared at Eda. “You are not going to send my daughter into any dangerous magical quests.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t. Not like there’s anything left worth stealing in the Boiling Isles.” Eda said though her mother did not look reassured.
Eda: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, kid. Being a witch doesn't happen overnight. Also, you're wrapped in a bathrobe and wearing the dirtiest traffic cone I've ever seen.
[ Luz pulls her hat off and blows on it, revealing that it was, in fact, a traffic cone with a severe layer of dust on it. ]
“Why do you keep that around?” Luz asked.
“In case there’s anyone I can scam into buying that. You wouldn’t believe how much people would pay for human garbage.”
King: [ laughs ]
Eda: But a magic staff, huh? You really want one?
Luz: More than anything.
Eda: Magic staff, come to me!
[ She holds out her hand. For a second, nothing happens. Then several things crash distantly. King, Luz, and Eda all slowly turn to the sound, until Eda's staff appears and smacks her in the face, clattering to the ground. ]
Many in the audience chuckled in amusement and Eda glared at Owlbert who, despite not having a mouth, seemed to be smiling cheekilly at her owner.
Eda: [ grunts and picks the staff up, spinning it before tapping it on the ground ] It's early. Now, witches are awarded their staffs from school. With me as your teacher, you'll be taking a different approach. [ drops a bag of potions onto the floor ] You'll have to work for it. [ leads Luz through the living room ] I run a few businesses. On weekends, I offer rare human treasures that Owlbert drags over from your side of the realm.
[ She grabs a toy sword and hits a button near the pommel. ]
Sword: I shall smite my enemies! Ages six to eleven.
Eda: [ tosses the sword over Luz's head ] But most days I sell only the finest homemade elixirs and potions.
Luz narrowed her eyes, already guessing where this was going.
Luz: [ pulls a bottle from the bag and reads the label ] "Snake oil."
Eda: No one wants an un‐oiled snake. Follow me.
[ Cut to Eda and Luz walking onto a balcony. ]
Eda: Today you'll deliver packages and sell potions to that town over there, Bonesborough . You'll have to be careful. I have rivals everywhere who'd love to take my business down and you along with it. You wanted a dangerous magical quest? Sister, you've got one.
While her past self looked elated, she was not. She glared at Eda and said, “This just looks like I’m doing your chores.”
Eda smiled and shrugged, “Yep.”
“You were supposed to teach me magic.” Luz said crossing her arms.
“If you want to learn magic, then you need to do what I tell you.”
“So how is this supposed to teach me magic?” Luz asked.
Eda didn’t answer as the show continued.
Luz: I won't let you down, Miss Eda.
[ Luz turns to salute Eda, dropping the sack of potions off the balcony in the process. The two of them watch it fall, Luz wincing when it crashes loudly on the ground. ]
This prompted the audience to begin laughing. Unaware of the tension between her and her magic ‘mentor’.
Eda: I'm sure. [ Cut to the living room, where Eda is pushing Luz out the door with a new bag of potions .] Remember, never befriend a man in sandals and always measure twice, cut once.
Still annoyed about having to do chores instead of learning magic, she muttered, “And what does that even mean?”
Luz: Uh...
Eda: Good luck! [ slams the door closed and dusts her hands off, then looks at King ] I hate to interrupt your power nap, but you have to go with her.
King: What? But I just found the perfect spot. Why do I have to go?
Eda: You and I know she's either going to get lost or eaten, probably both.
“Did you seriously think that boy could protect my daughter?” Her mom asked.
“He can keep her away from doing something stupid.” Eda said.
“And why can’t you go with her?”
Eda shrugged, not remembering what happened and her mom sighed.
Luz: [ squishes her face against the window ] No, I won't.
Eda: [ closes the blinds with a spell ] And because you work for me, too, unless you want to start paying rent.
Luz raised an eyebrow and she looked down at the tiny creature in her arms. She really had thought that he was a child, but what if he was actually older than he looks?
“How old are you?” King didn’t answer, either because he doesn’t want to tell her or because he doesn’t know.
King: [ throws a short tantrum before stomping out the door ]
Eda: Be back by nightfall or risk mortal peril. [ slams the door again ]
“Was she joking or were she serious?” Gus asked and Willow shrugged, unsure.
Hooty: Have a nice trip.
King: Huh! Let's get this over with.
[ Fade to Bonesborough. Luz and King walk through an archway. ]
Luz: Woah!
She can feel her annoyance begin to fade away as she realized the wonderful opportunity she had been given.
She have only seen the world from a distance, this was the first time she would interact with it directly. She wonder who she will meet. What will she learn? Is she gonna end up on wacky adventures like in the Good Witch Azura?
[ Zoom out to reveal a wall covered in wanted posters on either side of the archway. Various types of demons pass, all of which Luz stare at in amazement. ]
King: Hey, it's rude to stare.
Luz: I've only seen places like this in my dreams. It's incredible. And I'm the only human here?
King: [ shrugs ] Haven't seen any others.
“Why is that?” She wondered out loud, though the answer should have been obvious.
“I’m the only one with a portal to the Human Realm.” Eda answered.
Luz: Wow! There must be a reason for that, right? Why am I here? What if I, Luz Noceda, average teen, actually had... [ gasps ] ...a predetermined path of greatness? [ gasps ] Just like Azura!
King: Yeah. Did Azura's path to greatness involve her delivering boil cream? [ takes a potion labeled "Boil B' Gone" from the sack and holds it up ]
The pink-skinned triclops girl muttered in disgust, “Who even buys that?”
Luz: Today I'm delivering packages, but tomorrow I'll be earning the respect of everyone on the Boiling Isles with my magical prowess.
“What ‘magical prowess’? You’re a human, humans don’t have magic.” Warden Wrath said.
“Well Wrath, prepare to eat your words. Because when I finally discover the secrets to your magic, even you will be impressed by how powerful I can be.” Luz declared.
Amity, next to her, spoke up, “Do you even have a bile sac?”
“A what?”
King: Ha! Good luck. The Boiling Isles is nothing but a cesspool of despair.
Said residents of the isles nodded in agreement.
Luz: More like a cesspool of delight.
[ Luz puts the boil cream back in the sack before hefting it over her shoulder and looking around. She starts in the direction of the market, where she walks up to a centaur holding a pumpkin in front of his chest. ]
Luz: What has four hooves and wants to buy a potion? This guy.
Centaur: [ sighs and lowers the pumpkin to reveal his face is on his chest ] My eyes are down here.
“That was rude.” Someone in the audience muttered, probably that same centaur guy.
“Sorry.” She called out.
Luz: [ exclaims ]
[ Cut to a house, where Luz rings the doorbell. She leaves her hand on the button, and the doorbell bites her hand and slowly starts to eat her arm. King walks away in annoyance. ]
The crowd laughed in amusement and Luz can’t help but blush in embarrassment.
[ Cut to a curb, where Luz and King are sitting, the latter scarfing down a Not Dog from the cart behind them. ]
King: [ sighs ] I know I've had enough delight for one day.
Luz: I thought being the only human in a magical world would make me special. But apparently, it just makes everyone want to scream at me or... [ holds up her arm to reveal a small winged creature biting her elbow ] eat me.
“What is that abomination?” Her mom asked.
A guy with messy brown hair, who if she remembered correctly, was Amity’s dad, said, “That is a demon, not an abomination.”
[ flings the creature away and sighs, opening her book ] At this point, Azura had already been sent on an enchanted quest. Where's my quest‐granting wizard?
Many people cringed in disgust, and Eda spoke up, “Why would you want to meet a wizard? They’re nothing but frauds and hacks, and that’s coming from me.”
But she read that wizards were cool, she thought, though she didn’t say that out loud. Afraid that she might get laughed at again.
King: Sorry to break it to you, Luz, but no one here is that well‐dressed.
Luz: This has been a rough day. [ stands and hefts the potions sack over her shoulder with a grunt; takes out a piece of paper and starts down the alley ] Let's just deliver this last package and go home. Maybe this world isn't what I thought it wa‐‐ [ gasps ] Pretty!
[ Cut to reveal a large castle with golden banners illuminated by sunlight. The doorbell is also made of gold, and towering wooden doors open after Luz presses it. ]
She was amazed, the castle looked beautiful. But she didn’t miss the weird looks the people were casting at the screen. Curious, she asked, “What is it?”
“I’ve been living on Bonesborough my whole life and I’ve never seen that place before.” Willow muttered behind her.
“Did someone reoccupy the old ruins?” Lily asked and Steve shook his head, looking just as confused.
King: Big houses always belong to big whackjobs. Let's kick the package inside and get outta here.
Luz: [ walking inside and ignoring King ] Hello?
King: Hey, wait. [ runs after Luz, yelping when the doors slam behind him ] Weh!
She tried not to let everyone’s reactions get to her. But she still couldn’t help but feel concerned. What if this was a trap?
Luz: [ entering a room ] I‐I'm delivering a package from Miss Eda, the Owl Lady. Huh?
[ Lanterns around the room flare on, revealing it to be a massive library. They illuminate a grand staircase, above which is a painting of a wizard. Said wizard enters from a door in the same pose he has in the painting. ]
Luz: [ gasps ] Today just got good.
Luz gasped, delighted. Though she didn’t miss the audience’s reaction, which ranged from curiosity to confusion.
[ Ad break. Camera pans up the wizard .]
Luz: [ dancing excitedly ] Magical wizard!
King: Weird old man in jim‐jams.
Adegast : [ descending the stairs ] I was in my oscillarium, reading the stars. And who might you be, with eyes full of curiosity?
“You know, usually when you meet a creepy old man, you run the other way.” Eda said.
“But he’s a magical wizard.” She defended.
“And? News flash kid, all of us here have magic.” Eda said and Luz pursed her lips.
Luz: Uh, I‐I'm‐‐
Adegast: [ running up to the two of them ] Young lady, dareth I say, I sense something unique about you. Please, won't you join me for tea?
“Yep, that is definitely a creepy old man.” Eda said.
[ Adegast summons two chairs and a table of snacks. He sits down in the white throne. ]
Luz: [ gasps ] Okay.
King: [ grabbing Luz's leg ] Let's scram! [ climbs up to Luz's shoulder ] Wizards are just old people with glitter in their pockets.
“Why would anyone have those in their pockets?” Gus muttered.
[ Adegast takes a handful of glitter out of his pocket and drops it on the floor. ]
King: I don't trust him.
Luz: But the stars on his robe are sparkling. And look, there's a baby fox in his beard.
“Luz, you should be more careful around strangers.” Her mom said.
[ The baby fox giggles. ]
Luz: Plus, I see scones on the table.
King: Where?
[ King pants as he runs to the table. Luz follows him, dropping the bag of potions in front of the chair as she sits in it. ]
Accusingly, Eda said to King, “You’re way too easy to bribe.”
“No I’m not!” King exclaimed.
Luz: We'd love to join you for tea.
[ King munching. ]
Luz: [ turns and notices a cart of potions ] Do you sell potions, Sir Wizard?
Adegast: Please, call me Adegast. Ma'am, yes, I run a small business.
Eda was narrowing her eyes and she muttered, “Well, that explains why this smells fishy.”
King: [ munching, holds up an empty plate ] You should run a small business of more scones into my mouth. [ chuckles ] Yes!
Adegast: I'm surprised to see you here. It was my understanding that Eda delivered the packages herself.
“Yeah, I bet he does.” Eda said, crossing her arms.
Luz was looking at her mentor’s reaction in confusion. She wants to believe that her past self really did meet a wizard, but everyone else seemed skeptical. “What is it?”
“He’s a competitor. I bet this was a trap to destroy me.” Eda said.
“And my Luz was the one caught in the trap instead.” Her mom said, alarmed.
Luz: Well, I'm kinda, sorta, her apprentice.
Adegast: Oh! And how are you finding the experience so far?
Her delight at finding a wizard turned into trepidation. She looked at the screen, waiting for something to go wrong.
Luz: [ holds a fake grin before sighing ] Can I be honest, Mr. Adegast? When I decided to stay in this magical world, I thought I was meant for something special. But Eda thinks I'm meant for chores and I'm afraid I came to the wrong place.
Eda’s mouth pursed though her thoughts remain a mystery. Luz wonders what she thinks, was she feeling guilty, or were she angry that she was complaining.
After all, she could have been more grateful. Even if Eda doesn’t teach her magic, she was the one keeping a roof over her head so she doesn’t have to go to summer camp.
Adegast: [ approaching Luz ] Well, I have a quest‐‐
Luz: A quest?
[ Cup shatters. ]
Adegast: [ chuckles ] You didn't let me finish. I have a question.
Some chuckled, though it did nothing to ease the tension in her.
Luz: Oh.
Adegast: Would you like to go on a quest?
Luz: Yes!
Adegast: [ reaches into his beard and pulls out a scroll ] I might have just the thing. [ unrolls the scroll to reveal a map ] The prophecy speaks of a young human girl who will claim the Celestial Staff and free this world from an ancient evil. Perhaps thou hath cometh here for a reason.
She looked around at everyone’s reaction. She wanted to see if people recognize the prophecy, for them to confirm that the prophecy does exist. That her past self was not naively heading into a trap.
She was disappointed.
Luz: Perhaps I hath. [ takes the map ]
Adegast: Should you believe yourself worthy to attempt this quest... [ begins walking through his house ]
Luz: [ follows him ] So worthy.
Adegast: ...you need to know the road is dark and perilous.
Luz: Love peril. Big fan of peril.
Adegast: And only the Chosen One can pull the staff from its post.
Luz: [ stops walking ] Chosen one.
The giddiness and delight on her past self was in stark contrast to the growing feeling of embarrassment on her present self. Why was she so dumb? This was obviously a trap, everybody can see it.
But not her.
King: [ walking past Luz with the bag of potions ] Neat story, awesome. Anyway, your food is gone and we are, too.
Luz: Yes, we have to go. And pack for this enchanted quest! I'm in.
She could only groan and facepalm.
King could have chosen to get off her lap at this moment. With both of her hands on her face, covering her eyes to spare her from seeing how stupid her past self was. He could just jump off and leave and she wouldn’t be able to stop him. But he didn’t, he chose to stay in her lap.
She wasn’t able to process this though.
Adegast: Wonderful.
[ Cut to Luz's bedroom, where she's sheathing the toy sword from earlier. Around her are various potions, food, the quest scroll, and of course her Azura book. ]
Luz: So, King, what kind of Chosen One should I be?
King: [ kneading Luz's sleeping bag, yawns and lies down ] Huh? What?
Luz: [ picks up her book ] Should I be full of optimism and goodness, like the Good Witch Azura? Or should I be like a bad girl Chosen One with black nail polish and a mysteriously withdrawn attitude? [ uses the book as a mouth ] "I act like I don't care, but I secretly do."
“You cannot pull off a Hecate.” Amity’s voice was low, low enough that she would have missed it if she was sitting a little further away from her.
Any other time, she would have retorted that she could pull it off. She would do anything to engage with a fellow Azura fan. But right now, she wasn’t in the mood.
Eda: Oh, you guys talking about bad girls? Wait, what's going on?
Many were looking at the screen, disgusted at the sight of the severed hand.
King: Eda, tell Luz how dumb wizards are.
Eda: [ gesturing with a severed arm and almost hitting King several times ] Ugh! Wizards are the worst. Never trust a man in casual drapery. [ laces her fingers with the severed arm's ] Why?
King: Your wizard client told Luz... [ laughs ] she was a‐‐ [ laughing ] was a Chosen One! [ laughing ]
Eda: Wait, wait, Luz? [ snickers ] [ laughs so hard she falls back onto the floor ]
King: He even gave her a map.
[ Eda and King laugh as Luz hides behind her book, an embarrassed blush on her face. ]
Seeing her mentor, her mentor, laugh at her only made her feeling of shame deepen further. She ran away to escape the bullies from her world, the people who mocked her for the things she liked.
Only to get mocked and laughed at for the things she liked by her own mentor.
But hey, at least this time she deserved it, her mind supplied. And she sinks further in her seat.
Eda: Let me see this map.
[ Luz hands her the map. She inspects it for a few seconds. ]
Eda: You didn't think this was real, did you?
Luz: What?
Eda: This map is bunk. There's no lake with a Celestial Staff on the Boiling Isles. I would have stolen it ages ago. [ notes Luz's down face and hands her the map back ]
“Of course you would.” Lily muttered.
Ah, don't worry. Couple more months here and you won't look like such a mark.
Luz sighed, she knew she was gonna need to prove herself to her mentor. All fantasy protagonists do, even Azura, but it still hurts to hear her say that.
Luz: Can I have some time alone?
[ Eda shrugs and leaves the room. King hops off of Luz's sleeping bag and follows Eda. The door closes, casting the room in shadow. ]
Luz: Maybe they were right. [ leans against the wall before sliding down it to the floor ] Huh?
[ Sunlight is illuminating one corner of the map, revealing the word "one" in shining blue lettering. Luz holds the entire map up to the light revealing the message: "The chosen one The path will only appear to the worthy ".]
Luz groaned, way to go Luz Noceda, just when you’re becoming sensible you’re gonna throw yourself into another trap again.
N o wonder your mentor didn’t want to teach you, you were an idiot.
Luz: "The path will only appear to the worthy." [ gasps ] That's why Eda couldn't see it. But am... I really worthy?
[ Wind howls and opens the window. The map flies out of her grasp, landing next to her book. The wind flips the pages to show Azura standing loved and triumphant on a small hill, the people around her applauding as she holds a staff to the sun. ]
Luz: I'll never know unless I try.
“Yeah you’re gonna die.” King muttered.
[ Cut to the living room, where King is laying down on the couch. ]
King: Finally! All that mean‐spirited laughter made me sleepy.
Eda: Crony, wake up. You said that wizard was one of my clients?
King: Yes. Now go away.
Eda: I don't know him that well. [ sits on the couch with enough force to send King flying into the air ] And I don't trust this itch he's scratching in the human.
“Now you’re concerned!?” Her mom exclaimed. She had been nervous since it had become apparent that Luz’s past self was heading into a trap, and she was not happy that her ‘mentor’ was bullying her daughter.
King: Less talky, more nappy.
Eda: [ sighs ]
[ Cut to the door of Luz's room, which Eda pushes open. ]
Eda: Hey, Luz? Aw, nuts.
[ Her room is empty, the howling wind pushing open the window. Eda runs to the window. ]
One of the younger audiences, a girl with dark brown skin with pinkish grey hair held in a ponytail, said, “Did she actually jump out of the window? I thought humans were supposed to be fragile?”
Eda: Hooty, where'd she go?
Hooty: Hoot, hoot. If you want the answer that you seek, solve my riddle within a week‐‐
[ Eda punches the wall hard enough to shake the whole house and leave cracks in the wall .]
“You never let me have any fun.” Hooty muttered.
“What was that riddle?” Lilith asked and Hooty looked delighted as he shared the riddle to her.
Lilith, for her part, seemed to be enjoying answering his riddles. Both King and Eda looked unsettled at that.
Hooty: Ow! Okay, okay. She went into the forest towards Bonesborough. Sheesh!
Eda: Ugh!
[ Cut to a sign proclaiming the city limits of Bonesborough, next to which is Luz. ]
Luz: [ inhales ] My first mythical quest. Ha!
[ She jumps and slides down an incline, then gets over a fallen log. A thick fog rolls in as she keeps walking .]
Luz: Okay. Got my scroll, got my youthful optimism, got my trusty weapon. [ pulls out the sword and hits a button on it ]
“That looks like a toy.” One of he younger audiences pointed out.
Sword: By the power of Skullgar, I am out of battery.
[ The lights on the sword dim as Luz lowers it. She continues onward, ducking a branch and cutting a rope with the sword .]
Luz: You know, I wonder if I made the right choice by coming here. [ gasps ] Wow!
[ Camera reveals a village full of cats wearing clothes and walking on two legs. Luz walks through the village, beaming as she looks around. She approaches a fountain in the middle of a square, from which a witch with a sword strapped to his waist emerges, flipping wet hair out of his face. ]
The sight of the village, though seemingly harmless, has aroused more suspicion from the audience. No one knew that town exists. Though they knew that there is ruins of a small village just outside of Bonesborough.
Right where Luz was headed.
Nevareth: I see. So you're the Chosen One. [ scoffs ] The Celestial Staff should've picked me, Nevareth Bladestrife , Teen Prince of Angstmore.
“That’s a stupid name.” Eda muttered.
“Says ‘Eda the Owl Lady’.” The old man with a red mask said.
“I’m not the one who picked that name.” Eda said.
Luz: [ staring at his biceps ] Yes. Yes, I did make the right choice.
She couldn’t help but blush at seeing her reaction to ‘Nevareth’ on the screen.
[ Cut to an alley. ]
King: [ sniffing ] This is where we met the scones. I mean, the wizard. Whoa!
[ Eda pushes aside a patched curtain. ]
King: It wasn't like this before.
[ The castle is now in complete ruin, with crumbling walls, no spire, and faded banners. One of the front doors is laying on the ground, and as they look, a chunk of wall falls from a pillar. ]
Any hope that, maybe they were wrong, that maybe there really was a ‘Celestial Staff’, that she really was special and that this would prove it, was thoroughly smashed when she saw the true state of the ‘wizard’s castle’.
Eda: I don't like this.
[ A door creaks open, revealing the library. Tattered scrolls now litter the floor, shelves are broken, paintings are ripped, and chunks of debris are blocking the stairs. Eda steps forward, onto a bundle of scrolls. She picks them all up, each illuminated with the glowing message of: "The chosen one". ]
Eda: I really don't like this.
She groaned, and Eda turned to look at her. She waited for her to give a snide remark, to tell her how dumb she was. But instead, she felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked up and saw Eda looking down at her. She didn’t look like she was mocking her, quiet the opposite.
[ Cut to the middle of the woods, where Luz is walking with Nevareth and a flying onion with bat wings. ]
Luz: Nevareth, your vengeful backstory is so compelling. And I'm lovin' your animal sidekick.
Nevareth: After my village was consumed, my heart has known nothing but vengeance.
[ They stop walking. ]
Luz: Nevareth!
Nevareth: Lady Luz, do you think love can bloom on the battlefield?
Luz: [ turns and laughs to herself ] This quest is questing in all the right ways.
Everyone was chuckling at her past self, and even she couldn’t help but chuckle. Eda pointed out, “Kid, you need to raise your standards.”
[ The three of them walk onto a bridge, yelping when a creature jumps in front of them. ]
Nevareth: Ew.
Chris: [ dances ] Hum‐di‐diddle, to pass the bridge, you must first solve my riddle.
Luz: Hit me, little furry man.
Chris: Your quest shall stop if you fail this game. So tell me, my dear, what is my name?
Luz: Hmm. [ bends down to inspect his nametag ] Uh... Chris?
Chris: That's it. You may cross the bridge. And please take this, Chosen One. It shall help you on your journey. [ hands her a ring ]
Ugh, he should have seen that the challenges were too easy.
Luz: Wow. This is amazing. Thank you. [ puts the ring on ]
Nevareth: Do you need a cape?
Luz: Nah, I think I'm goo‐‐
Nevareth: You can use my shirt.
[ Nevareth rips his shirt off and ties it like a cape over Luz's shoulders. ]
Many of the female teens were blushing at the sight, even knowing it was a trap. Though Luz did notice that Amity didn’t look impressed. Rolling her eyes at the screen.
Luz: Yes. I need a cape. [ giggles ]
Nevareth: Three cheers for the Chosen One. Hip, hip...
Everyone: Hurray!
Nevareth: Hip, hip...
Everyone: Hurray!
[ Luz blushes from the praise. ]
Nevareth: Hip, hip...
[ Cut to Eda. ]
Eda: Oh, no.
[ Her and King are standing in the cat village, which is now destroyed. Dark clouds hang in the sky and fog clouds hang in front of the houses. ]
“Okay, what is up with all the ruins?” Luz asked aloud.
A diminutive creature, with eyes that, if you squint, could look like hands pressing down on her head, spoke up in a tone that seemed like she was lecturing children, “Those ruins date back all the way to the Savage Ages, before the time of Emperor Belos. Before order was brought into the chaos of wild magic.”
Luz looked at the creature, then at the man with a horned mask next to her, and her mouth pursed. So that’s the name of the evil antagonist.
Eda: Are you sure she came here?
King: [ sniffing ] Can't mistake her smell. Like lemons and young, naïve confidence.
Eda: Hmm.
[ Eda walks up to the fountain, which is now broken and covered in dying vines. A cat wrapped in vines is laying in the lower basin. Eda kneels in front of the fountain. ]
Eda: Hey! Wake up, you. [ flicks the cat's head ] What have you done with Luz? [ shakes it ] What's your endgame?
Cat: To find your pupil and still your wrath, look ahead and follow the path. [ cackles as it disintegrates ]
“What is that thing?” She asked.
Eda looked in thought, before snapping her fingers, “It’s a puppeteer.”
King: [ gasps ] The cat man melted!
Eda: [ sighs and stands ] It's a trap. They want me to follow Luz.
King: So, what do we do?
Eda: Hmm.
[ Cut to the woods, where, along with Nevareth and Chris, Luz is walking with a fairy much less hostile than the one she met the day before. ]
“Fairies don’t behave or look like that.” Gus pointed out.
Luz: Thank you for inviting me to your feast, Princess. All your food was so tiny and cute.
Princess: [ twirls her hands and creates two bracelets ] For you, Chosen One.
Luz: [ puts the bracelets on ] Thank you. You have all been so kind and thoughtful. [ jumps and strikes a pose ] I hope this quest never ends.
Her eyes narrowed at their gifts, why couldn’t her past self see that this was a trap? The quests were too easy, everyone’s backstory was generic, and their names were like the names of the characters in her… books.
She sighed as she finally figured out why she was so easy to fool.
Chris: Your quest will soon come to an end, for the staff you seek is around the bend.
Luz: [ drops her pose ] Thanks for ruining the mood, Chris.
Nevareth: Go on, Chosen One. The Celestial Staff is yours. You've earned it.
[ Luz perks back up and continues down the path .]
Everyone was tense, everyone expects something to happen, everyone knew this was a trap. But out of everyone, no one was more terrified than her mother.
This is what she ran away to.
Nevareth: Farewell, Lady Luz.
Princess: Farewell. We love you, Chosen One.
[ Birds twitter as they fly overhead, casting long shadows below them. Luz looks away from them to focus on the path, before slowing to a stop. ]
Luz: [ gasps ]
[ The Celestial Staff stands on a platform in the middle of a lake, illuminated by a ray of light. As Luz approaches the edge of the lake, a glowing comes from the water, followed a few seconds later by a stone walkway rumbling into place, connecting the edge of the lake and the central platform. ]
Luz: I knew this world wasn't all gloom and doom like Eda and King said. [ skipping and twirling down the walkway ] There is wonder here. And I... I think I came here for a reason.
“Mija, real life is nothing like your books.” Her mom said.
Surprisingly, Eda agreed, saying, “Your mama’s right kid.”
Well, on the bright side, at least Eda and her mom are seeing eye to eye now.
[ She pauses as she reaches the platform, staring at the staff in awe. ]
Luz: Okay, this is it. Moment of truth.
[ She hesitantly grabs the staff. Blue swirls of magic come out of it, creating waves in the lake as the top of the staff glows brightly. She pulls it out of the ground and holds it above her head triumphantly. ]
Luz: Yes! I am the Chosen One! I knew it! I always suspected there was a reason nobody understood my wacky antics back at home. [ jumps and twirls in a circle, then holds the staff with both hands ] Now I have concrete proof. [ laughs ]
[ The staff disintegrates, the dust blowing away in the wind. ]
Luz: No!
[ She grabs at the dust. Around her, the rest of the illusions fade: flowers at her feet wilt, water drains from the lake and retreats up the riverbanks, and even leaves disappear in a swirl. ]
Luz: What?
Even though everybody expected it, they were still surprised when it happened.
[ Cut to Eda and King flying through the woods on Eda's staff. ]
Eda: I know this guy. He's no wizard. He's what you'd call a puppeteer, a demon who specializes in scamming and manipulating people. He's trying to use Luz to get to me.
King: Yeah, and we're flying directly into his trap. Hurray.
Eda: Well, if you can think of a better plan, I'd love to hear it. Hey, faster, you. [ slaps her staff ]
“Do you think you can beat that creature?” Her mom asked.
“Of course, I’m the most powerful with in the Boiling Isles for a reason.” Eda boasted.
“Do you think you can save Luz?” Her mom asked again and this time, Eda nodded silently.
Owlbert: [ hoots ]
[ Cut to the Celestial Lake, now surrounded in fog. Luz backs up, holding her sword in front of her. ]
Luz: [ whimpers ]
Adegast: [ appearing from the fog ] Luz, the human.
Luz: Magical wizard?
Adegast: Your hubris has failed you, Witch Apprentice. [ cackling ]
[ Adegast lifts the wizard puppet to reveal an ocotopus-like demon. The ground begins to crack. ]
Luz: Huh?
[ Her previous travelling companions and cats from the village arise from the stone, a tentacle in each of their backs. They're lifted in the air and surround Luz, who slowly spins around. ]
As she sees the puppeteer, her mind can’t help but conjure up the things she had seen while browsing through the deep, dark corner of the internet that have sworn never to return to again, and she shuddered.
Luz: Okay, Luz. Don't panic. This is classic Chosen One biz. You just have to rescue everybody and defeat the final boss.
Adegast: I am everybody! You fool, don't you see? I'm no wizard. And you're no Chosen One. I've tricked you. [ evil laughter ]
Luz: What?
[ As she's distracted by the reveal, her cape floats up around her. It turns to chains, forcing her to her knees. The bracelets become hand cuffs and the ring becomes chains that lock her hands together, secured with a padlock. ]
“Ugh, no wonder they kept giving me all that stuff.” Luz muttered.
Luz: No! Betrayed by my own cool accessories. Why are you doing this?
Adegast: Your mentor has been stealing customers from my potions business for years. She must be destroyed.
Luz: Does everybody have a beef with Eda here?
[ All agreeing. ]
“How many enemies do you have?” Luz asked and Eda shrugged.
“Too many to list.”
Luz: [ sighs ]
Adegast: And you lured her right into my trap, all because you wanted to think you were special.
Luz frowned at hearing that.
Luz: No. Joke's on you, 'cause Eda isn't stupid enough to fall for your trap.
“Guess again kid.” Eda said.
Eda: Adegast!
Luz: Oh, heck!
[ Eda and King land at the end of the walkway. ]
Adegast: Eda, I have you now!
[ Two cat puppets erupt from the ground, one grabbing Eda and the other King. ]
Her mom looked at Eda, not impressed by how quickly she was captured. Eda for her part, chuckled and offered, “I got caught by surprised.
Eda: That's right. You have me. Now release Luz.
“Wait, was that your plan? To sacrifice yourself? For me?” Luz said, surprised and touched by her mentor’s selfless decision.
“You could have left me out of it.” King said.
King: I didn't have to be a part of this!
Adegast: Oh, she can leave. If she wants to. But I sense she wants a real fantasy.
[ The Chris puppet breathes a cloud of fog at Luz. When she opens her eyes, she's free of her restraints, kneeling in a dark void. Adegast's puppets walk up to her from the dark. ]
Luz already knows that she wouldn’t accept, though everyone else seems to think otherwise. As they all watch closely and waited for what would happen next.
Nevareth: Stay with us, Luz. Stay with Adegast. We need you here. You could be our Chosen One.
Princess: Yeah, you can eat our tiny foods forever.
Nevereth: Luz, why would you want to live in a world where people laugh at you?
Luz: It is beautiful here.
Eda: Luz!
Luz: And you guys think I'm special.
Eda: No! [ grunts as the tentacle nearly envelops her ]
[ The puppets all close in on Luz. ]
Luz: But it's not real. [ grunts and waves the fog away, running forward to pick up her sword ] I am a Witch's Apprentice. And I'm gonna earn my magic staff the hard way. I believed you, Magic Man. Now feel my wrath!
Many of the audience cheered at her declaration.
[ Luz stabs the wizard puppet through the stomach, making it disappear with a poof. ]
“How sharp was that toy?” One of the teens couldn’t help but ask.
Adegast: [ screams ]
[ Eda and King free themselves, landing next to Luz with grunts. Luz swings her sword at the princess like it's a bat, making her poof away. Three cat puppets approach Eda. She draws a spell circle, sending a plume of orange smoke at them. They disintegrate with distorted screams. ]
Adegast: [ screams ]
[ Nevareth tries to blindside Luz, but his yell alerts her. She catches his sword with her own and duels him. ]
Luz: I thought we had a connection, Nevareth! [ plunges her sword through his chest ]
“I’m honestly not sure. Either the toy was sharp or the puppets were fragile.” Luz answered.
Nevareth: [ grunts ] Ah, my flawless pecs! [ poofs ]
[ Eda lands next to Luz, the two sharing a smile. ]
Adegast: Back off! [ holds up King ] Or the dog gets it.
“Why would anyone think I’m a dog. I’m King, the King of Demons.” King said.
King: I am not a‐‐ [ muffled grunt ]
[ Eda and Luz drop their weapons and raise their hands in surrender. ]
Luz: King, I'm sorry. I should have listened to you and never trusted that wizard. You were right. He isn't mystical or magical. He's just a big, slimy jerk.
[ She kicks her sword, sending it flying point first into Adegast's head. He screams and drops King, who is caught by Luz. ]
“Nice kick.” Eda said, smiling.
[ The scream changes pitch as Adegast shrinks to less than an eighth of his previous size. Eda and Luz walk up to him. ]
Eda: [ picks him up ] Well, that's the last time I take an outside referral. [ eats him ] Mmm. Oh, did you want some of that?
The relief of the fight ending disappeared as sudden as a cold shower and everyone was looking at Eda in horror.
“Does that count as cannibalism?” Luz couldn’t help but ask.
“Yes it does.” Willow said.
“Can you blame me, he was trying to kill us.” Eda said, though her tone doesn’t seem like she care that much about what everyone thinks.
“That is going on your list of crimes Edalyn.” Lily said as she conjure up a very long scroll and began writing on it.
“Hey,” She sounded offended though she was anything but, “Can I see that list?” Lily’s response was to growl.
Luz: No. I'm just confused.
Eda: Thinking of calling it quits, huh?
Luz: This place is nothing like I imagined.
Eda: Hmm. Maybe not here. But come with me. I got something to show you.
[ Cut to the three of them on Eda's staff, hovering in the sky. Luz is wearing a blindfold. ]
Eda: Okay, you can look.
Luz: [ takes the blindfold off ] Whoa!
[ The camera pans to reveal the whole of the Boiling Isles: the decomposing body of a Titan . It's laying with its arms splayed in the sea, its skull illuminated by the setting sun. ]
“It’s beautiful.” Luz said, amazed at the view.
“What creature is that?” Her mom asked.
“It’s the Titan.” Eda answered.
Eda: The bones of the Isles. Up close, the Isles can be slimy‐‐
King: And very stinky.
Eda: And gross. But if you look at it from a different perspective...
[ The three of them look to the sky above the Titan's skull, where stars are beginning to appear. As they watch, a shooting star crosses the sky, there for only a moment. ]
Luz: It's beautiful.
King: Yeah. [ leans against Luz ]
Luz: Eda, how did you know that wizard was lying?
Luz was eager to hear the answer. Because while the person next to her could see what she had seen when she first met Adeghast, past Eda didn’t have that knowledge.
Eda: Look, kid, everyone wants to believe they're "chosen". But if we all waited around for a prophecy to make us special, [ chuckles ] we'd die waiting. And that's why you need to choose yourself.
The old man with a red mask spoke up, “That was actually a good advice.”
“See, I can be a good teacher.” Eda boasted.
“How many spells have your student learned?” The old man asked and Eda could only glare at him in response.
Luz: Does that mean you'll give me a magic staff of my own?
Eda: Not yet. But... someday.
[ Luz leans against Eda as they watch the sun continue to set. ]
The moment the episode ended, they all felt a raging headache and they all doubled over in pain.
END OF WITCHES BEFORE WIZARD
Omake:
Camilla Noceda
She had been heartbroken by what she saw.
She knew she should have curbed her daughter’s imagination, she should have tried harder to limit her daughter’s obsession with her books.
She wondered what else she could have done. What else could she do other than to send her daughter away.
Maybe if she was home more often, she could have done a better job. Maybe if she tried to understand her interests better. Maybe she should have just transferred her to a different school.
Maybe, if she was a better mother, her Luz wouldn’t have left her.
She looked at her daughter on the front row, sitting next to the Owl Lady. The woman who took her.
She wanted to be angry at her. She wanted to hate her. She wanted to direct her fury at her, because if she doesn’t, her mind would realize one thing.
That it was her daughter who chose to stay. Eda didn’t blackmail her, she didn’t kidnap her. The door was open and all Luz needed to do was to walk through that door and return to her.
But she didn’t, she chose to stay.
At least now she knows that Eda would do her best to protect her daughter. She takes comfort in the fact that even if she wasn’t there for Luz, there was someone who was going to look after her.