Archive of Our Own

Now they were on the bus headed to the first game in the New England Preparatory School Soccer Championships, also known as New England's. They were the second seeded team in the league. Choate had gone completely undefeated while they had only lost the game to Choate. Although New England's also involved teams that they didn't play during the regular season. Both Choate and NMH were certain that they would see each other in the finals. 

Their first game was against Deerfield. Because of Deerfield's proximity to NMH, they had played each other three times during the regular season with NMH winning by more each time. They weren't going to pass them off though. It was of course possible that Deerfield would bring their absolute best game and beat NMH if they did not try hard enough.

Ali was sitting next to Ashlyn. She had attributed their growing friendship to similar friends outside of soccer. Ashlyn knew that, at least on her side, it was something else. Even though Ashlyn had hooked up with a couple of girls that season, they had all been experimenting and Ashlyn had just been using them to try and get over Ali. Obviously, it hadn't worked. 

Ashlyn was starting this game because Hope had committed to the University of Washington. There were scouts there, but since Ashlyn was a freshman none of them could actually come and talk to her. So, besides the fact that it was the playoffs, it was a generally low-stakes game for both goalkeepers. And, even if it had been high-stakes, Ashlyn wouldn't have been too nervous. By the end of the first half her team had maintained a defensive shutout, leaving Ashlyn totally bored in goal. 

When she sat down on the bench for the second half Ali sat next to her. "I think you should come with me to indoor try-outs. FC Massachusetts runs out of UMass Amherst which isn't too far from here. We could use a better goalie, Hope deserted us for Pioneer SC." Ali had mentioned FC Mass before and Ashlyn had just brushed off the idea. She was probably going to be playing varsity hockey so she wouldn't have much time. 

"You know that it won't work with my hockey schedule." 

"I looked up the schedule. It should work. It's late Tuesday and Thursday nights and games on Sundays. It works."

"Ali, I have homework. How am I supposed to get that done?"

"Coffee and less sleep, oh, and less procrastination. It will work out, I promise."

"And leave me super stressed. But I'll think about it."

"I guess that's the best I'm going to get." Ali heard Nox calling her name. "I have to go but we're not done here."

Ashlyn really did want to play indoor. She needed to keep playing in the offseason but she was going to be incredibly busy with hockey. She also didn't think that she could afford it. FC Mass was a fairly expensive club, she would need to be recruited and she didn't even know if they did that. She hadn't mentioned it to Ali. At preparatory school it was rare for you to come from a low income family and it changed everyone's perspective of you. She had decided to keep her financial situation completely to herself.

The game ended with NMH winning by a lot. It was almost cruel to win by 10 goals in a playoff game. Their next challenge would be Andover: definitely possible but also definitely more difficult. As they climbed onto the bust Ali squeezed her hand and whispered "I have something to tell you."

Ashlyn thought nothing about it, the handholding had become a normal thing and Ali often had stuff to tell her. 

"As you know, my dad got released last week. He has managed to convince my mom to go to a GLAAD meeting or something like it. This means that my mom is at least open to hearing the other side of the argument."

"Ali, that's amazing! You and your brother can reconnect with your mom. And I... Never mind. This is so cool. You have to tell me what your dad says afterwards."

"Well my dad is going to call tonight so how about you spend the evening with me."

"I would love to."

When Ashlyn arrived that evening Ali had obviously been thinking about what they should do together. "I thought we could order Chinese and watch a movie. I'm feeling 'Legally Blonde' for the night, is that ok with you."

"That movie will forever and always be ok with me. Do you have the menu for the Chinese place."

"Yeah, here." Ali handed Ashlyn her phone and watched her as Ashlyn scrolled through the seemingly endless options. Ashlyn looked up to tell Ali what she wanted and returned the phone. 

When the food arrived, they sat down in the lounge and ate until they could not anymore. Laughing at each other's "food babies" they walked to Ali's room. "Let me get into something more comfortable," Ali said while gesturing Ashlyn to sit down. Ashlyn could not stop staring at Ali and she kept staring while Ali took of her shirt.

"How do you have both a food baby and abs. Is that even possible?" 

Ali laughed, "I'm sure you have abs too Ash."

"Not after all that food I don't. Uh, Ali, your phone's ringing."

Ali suddenly turned serious. When she picked up the phone all she said was "hi daddy" in an voice that was very different from anything Ashlyn had heard. Usually she was so full of joy but she had turned somber immediately. She also didn't say much. All of her answers were succinct, "yes, no, maybe." 

Her mood didn't change after she hung up and Ashlyn was worried about what might have happened during the phone call. 

Ali, on the other hand, had no more questions about what she had to do. She walked right over to Ashlyn and kissed her.

Ashlyn was so surprised by the kiss that she was completely stiff. The moment she realized what was happening she softened and sat up, pulling Ali as close to her as she could. Ali pulled back to read Ashlyn's reaction. "I've been waiting for this for so long," Ashlyn whispered.

"I know, it only made me like you more." Ali pulled Ashlyn close to her and kissed her again. Ashlyn put her hands on Ali's still-bare waist while Ali put her arms around Ashlyn's neck. "Let's watch that movie."

Ashlyn nodded but didn't let go of Ali's waist. She was afraid that if she let go she would loose her. 

"Ash you're going to have to let me put on a shirt."

"Am I? I quite like you this way."

Ali rolled her eyes and put on a random shirt from her drawer. They sat down on the bed and Ashlyn immediately put her arms around Ali. They stayed like that for the whole movie, with Ashlyn staring at Ali while she watched the movie. Ali kept on trying to convince Ashlyn that the movie was definitely more interesting than her face but Ashlyn couldn't be convinced. She watched Ali's every reaction, paying attention to the way her nose crinkled when she laughed or the face she made when she called Warner a stupid jerkface.

The credits started rolling around 10, leaving Ashlyn painfully aware of the fact that they only had thirty more minutes together. She grabbed the laptop and put it on the ground. They sat up facing each other with their legs around each other's waists. Not saying anything, just watching each other. 

"How long?" Ali asked, recalling the conversation the had had earlier.

Ashlyn's brow furrowed in confusion. "How long what."

"You said you've been waiting for this for a long time. How long?" Ali repeated.

"The second day of tryouts. The moment after your ball hit me in the chest. You came over and blamed it on a bug. I made you laugh and all I've ever wanted to do since is to be the one who makes you laugh, who makes you happy."

"And then my dad happened."

"And then your dad happened. I knew I had to give you the space you needed. This is the best way for you to get on to the national team some day. I wouldn't be able to stand it if someone threatened to take away this education and this team away from me. It's my only chance."

"Only chance for what?"

"College. I won't be able to afford it unless I get a full ride. I've already been looking at scholarship essays and our family has been using the little money we have to send me to recruitment camps. I need to get my name out there."

"I didn't realize." Ali squeezed her hand.

"You didn't realize that my family didn't come from money. I didn't really want anyone to know. I love this place but one thing that most people have in common is that they have the funds to be here on their own money. I only got in here because I'm a two season varsity athlete. I probably wouldn't have ended up here on soccer alone. 

"You could have. You're an amazing goalkeeper, and a great addition to the team."

"Am I worth as much as college? Because that's how much this school costs. Hell, I'm probably worth more than some pro soccer players. 50 grand for just two seasons is not bad."

Ali noticed that Ashlyn was being uncharacteristically cynical. She was making jokes but they had a darkness behind them. So Ali laughed to go along with it, but she could see that Ashlyn was flustered. She couldn't imagine being around people with so much money than her all the time. During the day you could see it in the boy's timberlands and the girl's leather backpacks. In class there was an abundance of Mac computers as well as at least one iPhone for every student, most of them the newest models. 

Ali didn't know that Ashlyn had received a Mac from the school. On top of that, she had not had to pay for her extra training kits while the rest of the team had only gotten the first one free. The school knew what she was worth, and they made sure she could tell. They didn't just want her, they practically needed her.

"I have to go." Ashlyn leaned in and kissed Ali goodnight. Her cheeks were red and her heart was beating fast. When she got back to the dorm she just signed in and went to bed immediately but she couldn't sleep. 

Ashlyn kept on replaying the night over and over in hear head. Not ready to let it go and drift into sleep. She realized that she had never got the chance to ask Ali what her father had said on the phone but she also felt like she had gotten her answer. And it had been one hell of an answer. 

Ashlyn finally fell asleep, the taste and feeling of Ali still on her lips.