Chapter Text
“Alright, Deku wanna tell me why there’s fucking baby us sitting in the kitchen?”
He made an effort to close the door instead of slamming it. Deku’s eyebrows narrowed in the split second he faced him before turning to the bathroom cupboard.
Whether he was intentionally trying to avoid his gaze or not Katsuki wasn’t sure but regardless, he still had to resist the urge to slam the cupboard door shut on Deku’s fingers to make him pay attention. At this point, it wouldn't even mean anything because Katsuki would bet money that Deku had lost feeling in his fingers years ago.
His therapist probably wouldn’t approve. So he didn’t.
“I don’t know Kacchan, they’ve barely told me anything. And any time little me tries to say anything you- little you shuts him down.”
All it took was that sentence, that reminder, for the violent thoughts to go on lockdown because shit yeah, Little Katsuki was a dick and Big Katsuki, an entire adult, was better than that. And shouldn't slam doors shut on people's fingers.
Katsuki bit his tongue, mild nausea that he was making an active effort to ignore pooling in his stomach as he slumped against the wall. “Fuck this, what the hell.”
Deku turned to face him again, unwinding some gauze. His eyes were dark.
“I know.”
Katsuki paused. Then frowned, “It’s not coincidental, is it?”
Realistically he already knew the answer but he was half hoping that Deku would go on one of his rants explaining why he was wrong. Instead, he nodded, jaw tense and Katsuki huffed out a breath. Something almost like a laugh, though it was bitter and humourless.
“There’s a lot of bad people who hate us. If they want to get rid of us-“
“It’s easier to do it before we could even defend ourselves.” Katsuki finished.
“Exactly.”
“So what’s the plan then?”
“I was hoping we could work on that part together. I found them and then decided I should find you so I haven’t really had time to think yet.” He paused. “We should probably get them some food.”
Katsuki’s brows furrowed, and he tilted his head a little to the side.
“Yeah,” he said, voice deadpan, “Starving them before the villains even realised they were here would be fucking shit, dumbass.”
“My thoughts were a little preoccupied, okay? Can you hold this while I tape it?”
Katsuki pushed himself off the wall and over to Deku, he lifted the square of gauze from his head a little to get a close-up at how bad it was, ignoring how the nerd winced. Deku was notorious for sustaining bad injuries and underplaying them until he, Uraraka or Todoroki forcibly made him get medical attention. This was hardly the worst injury Deku had gotten, head wounds always bled more, but the cut was deep.
“It’s probably going to scar,” he said, and he pressed the square of gauze back down and held it in place and Deku secured one side with the medical tape.
“What’s one more to add to the collection?”
And given the situation, Katsuki couldn’t help but wonder if he meant the collection of scars from him specifically. The thought made him swallow uncomfortably.
“Ow, Kacchan”
Shit, he stopped pressing as hard. He should apologize.
“Don’t be such a baby.”
It was when Deku didn’t respond, didn’t jab back, that he looked down to meet his eyes.
“What?” He asked, and his voice sounded harsh in his own ears.
It didn't help that Deku hesitated before he spoke, leaving long enough for the paranoia to build to an uncomfortable level in his chest. God, sometimes he hated that he actually cared about Deku's feelings these days because that meant to he had to feel guilt and that was fucking bullshit.
“You can’t say stuff like that to younger me.” Deku secured another piece of tape in place. Katsuki felt a knot forming in his throat. Deku’s gaze was fixed on the tape as he peeled more off, Katsuki let go of the piece of gauze. “When we were that age I was terrified of you as it was. If I saw you like this..”
He trailed off, and Katsuki didn’t need him to finish the sentence. He swallowed and bit down on his cheek, fixing his gaze on the bathroom floor, willing himself to breathe through the mixture of guilt and annoyance that were beginning to spark.
“Trust me Deku, I’m not out to fucking terrorise a kid,” he said eventually, voice tighter than he intended.
“I know that,” he said a little too quickly, pulling off the last piece of tape a little too harshly. “Just watch what you say alright?”
“Alright,” he said, snapped, and then paused. Katsuki bit the inside of his cheek harder, till he tasted copper, and sighed, trying to let the tension drain out of his body, but that had never been something he was good at. “Fuck Deku, what do you think I’m gonna do. I’m not fucking 14 anymore.”
He shook his head, the last piece of tape securing the gauze onto his head and shoved the tape back into the basket of medical supplies. “Nothing intentionally. But you’re, y’know, you.”
He furrowed his brows a little at that, feeling his jaw tense at whatever the hell that implication was, but pushed it down. “Fine,” he said and his voice was rough. “Yeah. I won't call the Little Nerd a Little Nerd.”
The medicine basket was shoved at his chest with unexpected force behind it, so much he stumbled back into the counter as Deku stood up before Katsuki even realized he was moving. “You’re an asshole.” He said, voice tainted with the undertone Katsuki had come to recognise as a mixture of bitterness and disappointment. He hadn’t heard it in a while now, not since they’d hashed everything out a few years ago.
The sparks in his veins transformed into fully-fledged explosions and a familiar lightning fast anger dispersed under his skin and his blood felt warm in his veins as his palms started to heat like they wanted to spark off and-
And-
10, 9 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, -
he counted backwards, like his therapist recommended, and let out a long breath.
Fuck. Fuck.
He was better than this.
He threw the medicine basket onto the counter, and shouldered his way past Deku who was standing waiting, face expressionless and unimpressed, at the door and willed the heat to die down.
“Creative,” Katsuki said. “Never heard that one before.”
The tension hung for a second before he heard the door close behind him and felt Deku’s familiar presence at his shoulder, following him down the hall. “It’s because it’s the most accurate.” Deku quipped, after a moment of silence. voice still a little too serious, not the light tone he was more familiar with, but tentative and reaching.
And Katsuki felt whatever had shifted off kilter for a second, slot back into place. He breathed in a little more easily.
“Funny,” he said. “That’s why nerd works so well for you.”
“You’re hilarious,” Deku said, voice flat.
“Yeah well, there’s gotta be some reason why you fucking glued yourself to me.”
“Yeah, it’s definitely not your sparkling personality.”
Katsuki rolled his eyes. And then paused. Yeah, it hurt in a way that he would never admit, not to Deku, not in a fucking lifetime, but he couldn't act like Deku was being entirely unreasonable. Katsuki said shit all the time, he knew he did. and he was meant to be a responsible adult, not a fucking teenager who almost flew off the handle at the mention of his childhood asshole behaviour. He was better than that.
“Look Deku. I’m not thirteen anymore okay, and I’m not out to make Little you cry.” He shook his head, lip twitching up humourlessly. “Trust me, I’ve done that enough for a lifetime. Have a little faith that I’m not a total dick.”
Deku hesitated for a moment, long enough for Katsuki to question if he’d said something without realizing it, it would hardly be the first time.
Yeah, he and Deku were friends, if Katsuki was pushed he would probably even admit it out loud, but that was including the near daily spats they still had of varying levels of hurt and importance. They both knew it was a weird relationship, it always had been but it was more equal now than ever, and neither of them mentioned it.
“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Sorry.”
Katsuki turned and smacked him upside the head. Deku jolted forward and the green-eyed glare turned on him, eyes wide. "What the hell was that for?"
“Do we really have to talk about you apologizing again?”
“Fine, no sorry- shit.”
He barked out a laugh as Deku shuffled past him.
“You’re so fucking dumb.’
“Didn’t you walk into a glass door two weeks ag-”
Katsuki blinked and saw red. “Fucking Kirishima.”
“I can probably find it if I look for it of Jeanists CCTV-”
Katsuki rolled his eyes and shoved Deku forward toward the kitchen door, jaw clenched in an attempt to keep the smirk down. He was failing. “Just go back in before baby me kills baby you.” He shook his head. “Jesus this is fucking weird."
Then he and Deku stepped back into the kitchen.