Chapter Text
It's been 6 months. 6 months since he met Eren and then began to date him. 6 months of an interesting relationship that he never experienced before and 6 months of feeling more like a human and less of a burden to those around him.
Sure, the two of them did have minor quarrels. They usually never escalated to a point that it blew up and the two of them were considering throwing the other out a window. And the fights were usually about small things. Such as Eren eating the last pop tart after Jean was so ready to eat it after a long day of painting, or who would be player one when they played video games together.
It was basic relationship quarrels, and Jean would be lying if he said that he didn't actually find it cute how heated Eren would get in some of those small arguments. His cheeks would be a blazing red and he'd get this intense look in his eyes about a goddamn pop tart. It reminded Jean of an angry Chihuahua.
The two of them were currently at Jean's place. It became a common thing after a while; one of them just hanging out at the other person's house just because it felt nicer than being alone in their own home. Their relationship was at a point now that just being in each other's presence was fulfilling.
Eren was fiddling around with the channels on Jean's fancy ass TV. The thing had clearer HD than his own goddamn eyes and it was ridiculous and the controls were so complex it was as if Jean designed the TV himself.
Jean, on the other hand, was nearby in the living room, by the windows where he was currently painting. It felt nice to have a slight change in scenery while he painted. The lighting in this area from the windows was way better than his reserved painting room. It was a refreshing change he was surprised he didn't make sooner.
Eren let out a loud groan, throwing his head back and his arms flopped into his lap. He really just couldn't figure out how the hell to change the channel. The easiest thing possible to do with really any TV and Eren couldn't fucking do it with Jean's stupid TV. Eren closed his eyes and just sat there in defeat, listening to the infomercial channel that was currently advertising some fancy mop or something. Jean's eyes flicked up from the jar of water he was using to clean his brushes and looked at Eren, a small smirk on his face. Finally defeated, Jean thought.
Jean put his brush down and stood, quickly wiping his hands clean before walking over to Eren. He slipped the remote from Eren's grasp, and turned to face the TV, changing it to one of Eren's favorite channels: Animal Planet. He set the remote down back into Eren's lap before sitting down next to Eren. He didn't think having a small break right now would hurt.
Eren watched Jean as he easily changed the channel, doing it with such ease it was fucking annoying. Damn Jean and his ability to easily use the technology in his own home. How fucking dare he.
The two of them sat there for a while, watching a new episode of "Too Cute". Jean had no clue as to why Eren, of all people on this planet, enjoyed watching this show so much. It was too cute, as the name suggests, but out of all shows there were available, Eren's favorite is the one about clumsy baby animals and how they grow up from tiny babies to larger, fatter babies. Jean didn't know if it was funny or adorable.
After the new episode aired and an older episode began to play afterwards, Eren's attention started to drift away slightly. He'd already seen this episode, far too many times, and as much as he loved Noodles he already knew about his stupid adventures. Eren's eyes drifted to the coffee table.
He began thinking about how nice his and Jean's relationship was. They didn't have to speak to each other to enjoy each other's presence, but it was still enjoyable to do so. Jean genuinely liked having Eren freeload here all he wanted, no longer complaining about Eren leaving his clothes and toothbrush here. Eren was happy with the way things were right now. But there was something that always nagged him, something he wanted to know more about. Something he knew he shouldn't press about but.... isn't 6 months enough time? Jean was opening up more and did talk about his past more. Surely it was a sign that Jean was willing to talk about more, right?
Eren looked at Jean, and nudged his hand to get his attention.
Can I ask you something? Eren signed once Jean's eyes landed on Eren. Jean gave a simple nod, shifting his body so he was facing Eren. This better be a good question, because Noodle was becoming friends with a guinea pig right now and it was fucking adorable.
Can you finally tell me, Eren paused. What exactly did he want to know? There was a lot he wanted to know more about, but he really couldn't pinpoint what exactly he wanted to know.
More about your scars? He finally finished, guessing it would be good to start there. Eren's eyes were lit up with hope. Maybe now he wouldn't have to constantly wonder why Jean hid himself so much and didn't want to speak about it. Maybe now he could finally understand Jean better.
Jean turned his head away and Eren's face fell instantly. Oh no. He was going to refuse--
No. Jean simply replied, not giving any more after that. Eren frowned. He had to be fucking kidding right now. He swore that 6 months was enough time but apparently not. His head turned back to the TV, angrily watching the kittens wobbling around. Jean rolled his eyes at Eren's reaction. Was he always this much of an immature asshole when he didn't get what he wanted? Jean thought.
The two of them watched the TV together again, though the comfortable feeling between them was now tension that was steadily growing. Eren was debating on whether or not he should bring up the topic again to ask why the fuck Jean is being such a defensive dickbag before Jean nudged his leg with his own, getting his attention.
Eren looked at Jean, his eyes narrowed.
Mind telling me why you're being an ass right now? Jean signed, raising his eyebrows.
Eren rolled his eyes at his comment. He, Eren Jaeger, was being an ass right now? Was he understanding him right?
I'm not being the ass. You are.
How am I being the ass right now?
You're refusing to tell me something I should know about.
Should know about? Jean scoffed. You don't have some right to know everything about me, asshole.
But I do! We're dating, and I think I deserve to know why you have scars all over you.
Leave it to your imagination.
Eren groaned loudly and pushed himself up from the couch, his brows curved inward and he looked beyond pissed right now. He knew he shouldn't let his emotions get the best of him right now but--
I've been fucking patient, Jean. I've waited 6 months since the day I first asked about it and I've wondered and thought about it for 6 fucking months and you're still being defensive. Still wanting to hide away. I want to know you better, Jean. I want to know everything about you so I can understand better but I can't when you just refuse to let me know!
Eren threw his hands up into the air in frustration. Fuck, did he hate ASL. He hated not being able to yell right now since Jean was fucking deaf and how hard this was to sign out. He hated not being able to have Jean hear how pissed off he was right now, because his reactions alone weren't enough. He just knew they weren't
It's frustrating and it sucks knowing that you don't trust me enough to tell me. It hurts to know that while I've been trying my damn best to accommodate to you and to get your trust and to get you to open up but it's just doing nothing.
Eren stopped after that. Signing out all this was pissing him off even further. He let out a heavy sigh, and looked at Jean, stopping his pacing around that he noticed he was doing.
Jean was watching him with cold, narrowed eyes, his arms folded. His eyes met Eren's, and Eren felt as if he'd die by Jean's gaze now. He didn't feel sorry for admitting all this, though. Because it was about damn time Jean understood how fucking bullshit this was.
Eren let out another deep breath, his hands curling into fists. He was fucking done with ASL.
"I fucking wish you weren't deaf," Eren hissed out. There was no reason at all for him to spit out the words as harsh as he could. There was no reason as to why he spoke out those words. But signing out those words weren't and never would be as harsh as if he were to speak it.
Jean's face changed so fast. His intense glare that was so focused on Eren was now less intense and diffused. His brows that were curved and scrunched inward were now raised and his eyes were wide in shock. There was no way Eren had just said that. Eren was so fucking caring and willing to accommodate to him but apparently it was for his own selfish wants.
Jean unfolded his arms.
Why is this suddenly about you? Do you know how selfish you're being right now?
Jean's hands were shaking and he was on the brink of tears.
You're a fucking asshole. A selfish, disrespectful, invasive asshole. Do you not get that if I don't want to talk about something like that it isn't about you? Do you not get how those scars fucking hurt me? They're more than scars on my body, Eren. They've left scars in my memories. I can't forget what happened that left me with these scars. I can't forget how it screwed up my life. You're an asshole for not respecting my space, you're an asshole for not understanding, and you're an asshole for saying that you wished I wasn't deaf.
Jean stood up onto his feet, and his intense glare was back. His lips were pressed in a tight line.
Get out of my house.
Eren folded his arms across his chest.
"Or what?" Eren spat back.
Jean didn't even hesitate for one second after Eren's reply. He snatched Eren's jacket that was laying on the arm of the couch, grabbed Eren's arm in a deathly tight grip and began to drag him to the door. Eren began to voice protests, but it fell upon (literal) deaf ears. Eren tried to pry away from Jean's grip as well but it was to no avail.
Jean threw the door open and practically threw Eren out the door. He threw his jacket at him after he threw Eren out and stared at him, his gaze hard and cold like steel.
Don't come back until you get that stick out your ass. Was all Jean signed before slamming the door loudly in Eren's face.
Eren didn't know what he was feeling right now. As he sat there on the steps outside of Jean's door, his ass hurting, his body cold, his mind foggy, he didn't know what he was feeling.
Eren sighed, slipped on his jacket and got onto his feet. There was no reason to loiter around at your... boyfriend's? Ex's? He didn't know what he and Jean were right now. A mess, probably. Eren shoved his hands into his pockets and walked back home.
Eren's anger was slowly fading away the more he walked. His mind kept drifting back to the argument, and what Jean had said to him. Was he really being selfish about this? Was he just playing the victim card in this situation? Did he really let his emotions get to him?
Was he really that much of an ass?
Eren still didn't know what he was feeling by the time he reached his apartment. He pulled out his keys and jammed the key into the hole, surprisingly getting it right the first time. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him, kicking off his shoes as usual. His shoes landed near a pair of Jean's. Idiot left them here, somehow.
Eren collapsed into his couch, staring at the wall in front of him. Upon its blank, white surface hung one of Jean's paintings. It wasn't one that he was commissioned to do as Eren's birthday gift; it was instead one Jean had painted as a gift for Eren on their first date.
Eren kept his eyes away from the painting and instead stared at the blank part of the wall.
"You fucked up, Jaeger. You have really fucked up," He said to himself quietly, frowning. He didn't know how he'd fix it this time. Last time he and Jean fought over the same exact thing, Jean technically was the one to have fixed it. And Eren knew Jean wouldn't do it again because it wasn't his fault at all for that. Jean wasn't the one who said selfish things and was too invasive and nosy. Jean wasn't the one who wished his boyfriend didn't have a disability.
Eren ran a hand through his hair. He knew apologizing was really the only thing he could do to get himself out of this mess, but it felt like it would be too little for him to do at the same time. Just saying sorry wasn't going to erase what fucked up shit he said. A simple apology won't get him and Jean on better terms.
Eren went to bed that day with a lot on his mind, sleep not really one of them.
Somehow, for some reason, and for whatever purpose--
Eren bought a puppy.
It started out innocently enough. A few days after Eren and Jean fought, Eren was just a fuming and moping mess. He spent hours pacing around and thinking over the argument he and Jean had, pulling at his hair and groaning loudly. Finally, after doing that and going through his daily routine, he decided to get away from the thought of Jean and how he fucked up so bad with the only way he knew how --
Dogs and cats.
Eren was a frequent visitor to the animal shelter a little ways away because it was the best way to cope with frustration and self loathing. Bonding with the animals who needed some love was therapeutic in a way, and it benefited him, the animals, and even the shelter. He helped by getting some of the more excitable animals to calm the fuck down and getting the shy ones to gradually open up. He took pride in his talent with animals.
After cleaning himself up enough to be seen by the public he headed out and went to the shelter, arriving not too much time later. He greeted Historia who was at the front counter, busy scribbling something down. He's been here often enough that Eren was allowed to just let himself into the back, where the animals were. He headed to the dog area first, hearing some of the dogs yapping and barking loudly.
He ran into Ymir as well, one of the other workers here. She was busy filling up the dog bowls with food, and clearly the reason as to why the dogs were riled up. She gave a short wave to Eren when he entered, saying nothing as she went back to filling up the dog bowls.
Eren headed towards the back of the large room to where a Pomeranian dog was. The small dog was pregnant and had been for a few months the last time Eren had saw her. Now that he thought about it, she should be ready to have her pups or she already did. When he reached her caged area, he crouched down behind the cage wall. He smiled when he saw that the pom was now a mother. Her small pups were all yapping loudly and whining as they crawled around the pink blanket, colliding with each other and playing with a few small toys around the pen.
Eren lifted his arm and reached over and into the pen, petting the mother of the loud pups. She licked his hand a few times before getting occupied with licking her pups as well. Eren pulled his hand back but left his arm hanging over the edge of the cage wall, watching the pups. God, they were adorable. He reached back in and started to play with a feisty pup that growled and tried attacking his hand.
Ymir walked up from behind Eren and crouched down beside him.
"Those puppies were born a about a month ago," She started, watching Eren's hand and the pup he was playing with.
"We're offering to have them be adopted for free, since once they grow up we won't really have space for them." Ymir continued, and Eren nodded in reply. He felt slightly bad now, as these precious little puppies would have to be separated by their mother and moved to another shelter or even be euthanized if they weren't adopted. But with this new knowledge he also got an idea.
"How can I adopt one?" Eren asked after a few moments of silence. Ymir grinned.
After saying that, Ymir told him to choose a pup and then join her at the front desk to fill out some paperwork and what not. After Ymir left, Eren spent some time playing with the pups before choosing one; a white fluffball that he played with first, the one who kept thinking his hand was some enemy that needed to be vanquished. He then went to the front, just as Ymir said, filled out the necessary paperwork, got some helpful pointers and tips, and then was leaving the place with the pup in his hands.
Saying Eren bought the puppy would be stretching the truth just a little. He got the puppy for free, but with the paperwork he filled out it felt like he was actually purchasing the little guy. He still couldn't believe he actually did it, though.
His grand idea and main reason to get the pup was to make his apology to Jean somewhat better. He thought that if he gave Jean the pup as a present, it might make his apology more sincere since... he literally got a puppy for this. It was a pretty dumb plan and Eren knew it, but it was the only thing he could honestly come up with and it seemed pretty promising, if he was able to execute it right.
Deciding to do it today, he pulled out his phone after managing to hold the pup carefully with one hand. He sent a text to Jean.
Me
hey jean
is it ok if i come over to apologize?
Eren decided texting like a very drunk man wouldn't be the best decision.
Sweet Cheeks
fine
i'll leave the door unlocked.
Score, Eren thought. This was now easier since Jean was now back on speaking terms with him. Now onto phase two of his genius plan that he just came up with after leaving the animal shelter.
Eren slipped his phone into his pocket and held onto his lil pup better with both hands as he started to walk in the direction of Jean's house. On the way there, he made sure the pup had a little potty break and was slightly pissed that he couldn't give the little guy a drink as well. Oh well, he really didn't know that he'd even be getting a pup in the first place, so he couldn't be too mad.
Eren reached Jean's place in no time, and while he was going up the three steps in front of Jean's front door, he realized that he kinda had to hide the pup if this was going to be a surprise. After looking around then looking at himself, he sighed softly and as carefully as he could placed the pup into his jacket. There was now an obvious lump settled at the bottom of Eren's jacket. At least the little guy was warm against his stomach.
Eren sent Jean a quick text before going up the steps carefully and opening the door. Just as Jean said he would, the door was unlocked. Eren stepped inside, closing the door and locking it behind him before awkwardly managing to get off his shoes without bending down or kicking them off. Lord, this was difficult and Eren was slowly regretting this decision.
Jean stepped out from the hallway and was in the living room, which was a straight path of a few feet from the door. His arms were folded and he was watching Eren struggle with more than a few questions and an interested look on his face.
When Eren finally managed to slip off his shoes and kick them into a neat looking arrangement by the door he stood upright, quickly shoving his hands into his pockets and was luckily able to cup his hands and hold up the pup. Upon feeling Eren's hands around him the pup started to bite at his fingers.
Eren looked at Jean and gave him a cheesy smile, and in reply he got an eyebrow raised from Jean. Jean's arms unfolded.
Did you get fat? Jean teasingly asked, eyes flicking down to the lump that was near Eren's stomach. Fuck. He needed his hands to reply. Eren broke out into a cold sweat. Shit, this was just going downhill and there was no way he could play this off well enough and be smooth about it.
With hesitation, Eren slipped his hands out of his pockets and slowly zipped down his jacket. He was careful not to let the pup spill out with his free hand. He didn't zip open his jacket all the way, just enough for Jean to see the pup resting in his jacket.
The little guy yapped and went back to nipping and playing with Eren's fingers, and Eren's eyes trained on Jean.
Jean's eyes slowly widened when he realized what the fuck was in Eren's jacket. This was the dumbest thing he ever thought would happen. His lips parted slightly in absolute surprise and he stared at the puppy biting Eren's fingers into oblivion before his eyes flicked up to meet Eren's eyes.
Eren had a sheepish look on his face.
I'm sorry. Eren signed. His hand was in a fist and went in a circular motion in the middle of his chest.
Jean had no idea what he was feeling right now.
First he wanted to punch Eren. He wanted to punch him and wished he could scream and talk and yell so he could just direct it at Eren and let out all his anger in verbal words. He then wanted to sigh heavily and ignore Eren a bit more just so what he did could sink into Eren some more. And now... now he wanted to punch Eren but instead of using his fist he wanted to punch his face with kisses.
There was no way Eren was this fucking cheesy and stupid to think that a puppy, a clearly not well thought out plan and a sheepish smile would work. And it was sad for Jean to admit that this shit apology actually did work, as much of a goddamn trainwreck as it was.
Jean didn't know if he wanted to laugh or not. He just honestly couldn't believe Eren did this. There was no way this was real life right now.
Jean was probably taking a long time to reply, since Eren's face slightly fell. That was more than enough to pull him from his thoughts and to finally reply to Eren.
I hate you, Jean signed before closing the distance between them and hugging Eren. He was mindful not too hug him too tightly or get too close, as to not crush the poor pup in between them.
Eren hugged Jean back with one arm. It was now his turn to be surprised. There was no way this mess of an idea actually worked on Jean. There was no fucking way.
Jean pulled away after a moment, and looked down at the pup. He held out his hands towards the pup but hesitated, eyes looking up at Eren. Eren simply nodded, and Jean scooped the puppy into his hands.
God, it was small. Small, white and fluffy and looked like a snowball. Jean couldn't hold back the smile as he looked at the little guy, not really minding when he got to work biting his fingers and knuckles. There was no way Eren did this for him. He went out his way to get a fucking puppy to add to his apology. Christ, Eren was a mess.
Jean pet its back with his thumb, his movements light and careful. Eren let out a soft sigh, glad that this worked even though it was a trainwreck to execute in the way he imagined. Eren tapped Jean's wrist, getting his attention before kissing him. He made sure to kiss Jean softly and lightly; just like the way Jean kissed him. He was surprised when Jean kissed him back harshly, pressing too hard against his lips, teasingly.
The two of them pulled back when the pup yapped loudly, getting Eren's attention. Eren broke out into a grin.
Want to raise him together? Eren signed, and Jean rolled his eyes but nodded in reply.