Chapter Text
"Introducing King Qherric!"
Yaz gets to her feet and applauds as the young man stands before the crowd of people, one hand raised in acknowledgment. Even from here, she can see that he looks nervous; this was not how he expected the day to go and it shows. But he's committed to being the best king he possibly can be.
Because his sister, the once-meant-to-be-queen, has disappeared.
Not really, of course. Thren stands beside them, holding Yaz's hand. But there's a special necklace hanging around her neck that means anyone who looks at her just sees a random young woman standing with the group of strangers who held off a group of intruders and saved the now-king's life.
Yaz looks over as someone nudges her.
"We should go," the Doctor says. "We're already pushing our luck. There's always a chance that someone could see through the perception filter."
Yaz nods. "C'mon," she says to Thren.
Together, the four of them walk out of the palace and to the massive gates. The Doctor and Dan go through first, while Yaz stays with Thren.
The young woman hesitates, as though second-guessing herself.
"It'll be okay, Thren," the Doctor says in that gentle voice. "You'll be okay."
Thren looks at her, then at Yaz.
Yaz smiles and nods encouragingly.
Thren closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and steps outside the gates. She opens her eyes again, looks down at her feet, then looks back at the gates. She laughs. "First step done, yeah?" she says.
"Yeah," the Doctor agrees. "Let's go. My ship is waiting. And probably quite cross with us."
Together, they make their way back to the TARDIS.
The ship is indeed cross with the Doctor, releasing a frantic series of beeps and whistles and warbles as they step through the doors.
"Okay, I'm sorry!" the Doctor calls out, her hands raised in surrender.
"You tell her, old girl," Dan says with a grin as he strides through the console room towards the stairs.
"Oi, is this the thanks I get for taking you traveling with me?" the Doctor calls after him.
Dan laughs and waves as he disappears into the ship.
Thren lingers by the door as Yaz joins the Doctor at the console, her eyes wide as she takes in the ship.
"What do you think?" Yaz asks once they're on their way.
Thren is speechless. "I can't believe it," she says. "It's incredible."
The TARDIS thrums happily.
"You're going to give her an ego," the Doctor mutters. "Well, more of an ego."
"If I have to have a cold shower tonight because you keep antagonizing your ship—" Yaz starts to say, but then she stops.
The Doctor looks at her. A moment of understanding passes between them. She clears her throat and looks away. "So, Thren, I've got a place for you to go. They'll help you get set up and on your way."
"You're not coming with me?" Thren asks.
"I would," the Doctor says. "I really would, just to make sure you're okay, but…I've got some really important personal matters to attend to." She glances at Yaz, then quickly back at the console.
One detour and one farewell later, the TARDIS materializes outside the Park Hill flats.
Yaz's heart is in her throat as they walk up to the building and into the lift.
"Is this where we talk?" the Doctor asks.
She sounds so nervous that it brings tears to Yaz's eyes. How is she going to do this?
"Yes," she replies. "I promised I'd tell you what's happening, and I'm going to keep that promise."
"Why are we going to your flat?"
"Just in case Dan manages to interrupt again," Yaz says. That's a lie, but she's not going to say the real reason.
I want to do it at home in case you don't want me around anymore.
Because there's a big risk of that, isn't there? The Doctor might not want Yaz to travel with her anymore, if she goes ahead and breaks her heart like this.
Yaz unlocks the front door and steps into the flat to see Najia in the hall.
Her mum puts a finger to her lips. "Your dad's on a Zoom call," she says.
"Work?" Yaz asks as she takes off her jacket and hangs it up, then kicks off her boots.
"No," Najia says with a sigh. "He was invited to be on some sort of conspiracy podcast. Blue Box something-or-other?"
The Doctor gasps, and before Yaz can stop her, she's bounding into the living room.
Yaz hears her dad greet the Doctor and then the Doctor is chattering happily away to the girls on the other end of the Zoom call.
The Doctor waves her over when she steps into the living room. "Yaz!" she says. "You haven't met them yet!"
Yaz isn't in the mood to meet anyone, but the Doctor is excited and this might be the last time she sees her this excited, so she walks over.
"That's Abby, Shawna, and Cleo," the Doctor says, pointing to each of them in turn. "Cleo was the one that helped me. Well, I mean, they all did, but a lot of it was Cleo."
Yaz waves awkwardly. "I'm going to head to my room," she says. "Come find me when you're done?"
The Doctor nods, somewhat distractedly when Hakim asks them how they know each other.
Yaz walks down to her bedroom and gently closes the door behind her. She looks around the room. There's a lump in her throat as she looks at the strings of fairy lights with photos clipped to them. She had found an old-fashioned camera in the TARDIS one day, and she'd followed the others around—Graham, Ryan, the Doctor—with it on one of their precious few peaceful days.
Finally, she hears a soft knock on her bedroom door. "Come in," she says.
The Doctor slips through the door, shrugging off her coat and hanging it on the hook. "So," she says quietly. She runs her hand through her hair and rubs the back of her neck.
Yaz sinks onto the edge of the bed and pats the mattress beside her. She grips the edge of the mattress and closes her eyes, breathing steadily through her nose.
"Yaz?"
Yaz opens her eyes, but keeps her gaze on the floor. She knows she's scaring the Doctor. She can hear it in the tremble of her voice. It feels like she's being pulled in two. One side wants to stay with the Doctor, to savour every single moment of their inevitably doomed relationship. One side wants to end it before she falls any more in love with the woman she can't really have.
The Doctor sits beside her. "I know it's a bit of a laugh, coming from me, but…" She hesitates. "Whatever this is, keeping it inside is hurting you. And it hurts me to see you like this."
Yaz quickly wipes away a tear. "I don't know what to do," she whispers.
"About what?"
Yaz looks at her and it feels like someone has her heart in their hand, crushing the life out of it. "Us," she says.
The colour drains from the Doctor's face. "Us? What about us?"
Yaz tries to hold her gaze because she owes her that much. But it's too much. "I don't think I can do this anymore," she says.
The Doctor's entire body goes rigid. "Yaz…why?"
Yaz feels a tear slip down her cheek and she quickly wipes it away. "I know I said that I knew we couldn't be together like a normal couple," she says. "I said that I knew we couldn't get married, have a family, live happily ever after." The tears are starting in earnest now, and she makes no attempt to stop them. "But every day, I fall more and more in love with you and I'm scared that, when I lose you, I won't be able to cope. I won't be able to move on."
"Yaz—"
"I know you're going to tell me that I'm being daft, that of course I'll be able to love someone again, and maybe you're right, but it doesn't feel that way right now."
The Doctor sighs heavily, her entire body sagging.
"I'm sorry," Yaz whispers.
A long, long silence falls. Yaz bows her head and closes her eyes, waiting for the Doctor to leave.
"Yaz."
Yaz looks up.
The Doctor stares at the wall, as she tends to do when she needs to focus on finding the right words. "What if we could?"
"What if we could…what?"
"What if we could be together?"
"Doctor, please don't just tell me what I want to hear," Yaz says.
The Doctor bounds to her feet. "I mean it, Yaz," she says. "I love you. I do. And if that's what you want from me—a home, a family—then I'll do it." She fidgets with the chain of her ear cuffs for a moment. "Just…I just need some time to adjust." She spins around and spots a calendar on the wall. She points at it. "October! We met in October, remember?"
Yaz nods. Of course she remembers. She remembers that day like it was yesterday. The parking disputes. Being reunited with Ryan. Offering to give him a lift to check on his nan. Climbing through the smashed front window of a train just in time to see a strange blonde woman facing off against a weird tentacle-y thing.
"Give me until October," the Doctor says. "We'll travel until then and after that, I'll come home with you and we'll be together. Properly."
Yaz doesn't know what to think. "I don't want you to give up traveling just for me," she says.
"Yaz, I travel because I had nothing else," the Doctor says. She drops to her knees in front of her. "Because I was alone. But I'm not alone anymore. I have you, I have the fam. I want this, Yaz."
Yaz leans over to kiss her softly. "October," she says. "Promise?"
"I promise."