Chapter Text
Behind every great YouTuber is their amazing team. So naturally, I ran the video idea past my editor Jihyo, and to no one’s surprise, she was 110% against our ridiculous bet. Something about involving innocent girls in my nonsense. If you’re new here, Jihyo acts as my backup conscience, very necessary when the real thing is too busy being an idiot or simply overpowered by the temptation of a cool new video idea. Her girlfriend, however, is the exact opposite. Then again, Tzuyu does enjoy seeing me embarrass myself, and everyone knows Park Jihyo’s greatest weakness is how whipped she is for Tzuyu. So after making a deal with the devil herself, Jihyo was on board, and thank god for that, I didn’t trust Dahyun with my video camera. She’d end up recording herself, and yes I speak from experience.
I decided that it would be best to do the challenge at her university, I don’t want to risk any chance of a classmate, or worse, a professor see me making a fool of myself. I also don’t want my chances at scoring a boyfriend to go down. Besides, the only people I knew at Twice U was the Kim sisters and the girl that they are both denying they are in love with, Im Nayeon. So, nothing to lose over there really.
The rules of the challenge were simple:
- Dahyun gets to pick the lucky girls.
- They have to willingly give me their phone number, so pity numbers or violent threats don’t count. Not that I would ever need to threaten someone, that was just rude.
- If they find out it's for a Youtube video before I get their number, it doesn’t count.
- Bonus points if they ask me out or give me their number before I ask them.
* * *
From here on out, none of you trophies actually knows what happened. The last video I posted was the teaser for this pick-up challenge after all. There is a reason for that, trust me I’ll get to it. I promised her I will. So, I must deliver. By now everyone must be wondering who I mean by her . All I can say at this point is let’s not ruin the surprise. I need to keep the tension high so you’d watch the entire video.
* * *
I would have never admitted this then, but Dahyun was right (it kills me a little bit inside just saying that). I had no idea how to pick up girls. I just figured, I’m a girl and I know what I like so it can’t be that hard. Then I quickly realised that it’s been 4 years since my last date… and people who hit on me generally suck. Naturally, me shitting myself thinking about how the hell am I going to pull this shit off was the natural reaction. Like, how do you even ask girls out? I’m sure there’s a book I can read that could’ve told me, but just the thought of reading some fuckboy’s self-help book on how to score the hypothetical girl of my dreams made me wanna gouge my eyes out. In the end, I decided to use the god-given talents I was born with… my undeniable charm, my deep af dimple, and of course last but never the least, a shit ton of bad pick-up lines. Youtube thought it was a good idea, so who was I to go against it? Here’s my hot tip to everyone watching, humour is a must. After all, when in doubt make them laugh, it’s an easy in.
So there I was standing in front of Twice U at 10:30am on a Thursday looking at a very pissed-off Dahyun and Jihyo. I was an hour late. In my defence, we’ve been friends for years, they should know that expecting me to be anywhere before noon is a lost cause. And honestly? They should’ve been proud I was only an hour late. Even Tzuyu knew not to show up at 9:30am.
After being scolded by Jihyo for 15 minutes about punctuality, we were standing in the middle of Twice square. I have to admit, it’s so much better than JYPU’s. There was a lot of open space. If you stand bang on in the middle you’d see the pillars of their old library in the distance peaking just over this very nice and quaint café. Rows and rows of picnic tables as far as the eye can see and an expansive field covered in hyper-realistic fake grass. In a word, it was fancy. It really is no surprise, it is a top-tier university. Unfortunately, I didn't get to enjoy the view for long as it was soon tarnished by a smirking Dahyun.
“You know you can always just save us all the trouble and secondhand embarrassment and admit defeat now,” says a smug Dahyun.
Before long, it was the moment of truth. I, Son Chaeyoung, self appointed badass, was about to embark on a journey to prove the ‘oh so great’ Kim Dahyun wrong in her home turf. And with my leather jacket on, I will look so fucking good doing it.
While Dahyun was looking for my very first.. victim? Challenger? Let’s call them challengers. So as Dahyun was looking for the very first unwilling and unknowing challenger, I was just watching her and regretting my life choices. Here she was, looking like a kid in a candy store: excited, high-strung and downright insufferable.
Soon enough the merciful Kim Dahyun decided to put me out of my misery. “Her. The blonde wearing cat ears.” CAT FUCKING EARS! Really?!
As I was walking up to cat-ear girl, one thing really stood out, she was… tiny.
“Bro! You’re Tiny!!”
“No one asked you!”
As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, cat-ear girl was tiny. It made me seriously question if hitting on this girl will get me arrested for paedophilia. But I powered through, with a pen in my hand I ran after her and physically blocked her way. “You dropped your pen.”
She looked so confused why some stranger is suddenly standing in front of her with a pen in hand. She slowly removed her cat-ear headphones and stared at me, almost challengingly so. “That’s not mine.”
I couldn’t take the grin off my face when I heard her say those words. “How about you take it anyway, and use it to write your number down…” At first, I wasn’t sure what to expect, the silence was unbearable and I was stuck looking at her cat-eared headphones hanging on her neck.
Suddenly she snatched the pen and started writing something on my hand, then walked away. As I looked at what she wrote, there it was written in black marker, “Call me XX XXXX XXXX. Yui ❤.”
Walking back to the gang with victory literally on my hand, I realised a few things. First, pick up lines do actually work. Who would have fucking thought? Second, as amazing as my pen pick up line was, I couldn't use this line again. What girl will write their number next to another girl’s number? That was just asking for trouble or a slap in the face. And finally, I need a new fucking line.