Chapter Text
Acknowledgement…Otis felt acknowledged in that moment. Maeve’s silence was like gas to a flame in the sense that the initial acknowledgement he had experienced in this moment. The pureness of her smile. The love and affection that it had radiated in his direction - had somehow been mixed into the cauldron of confusion and conflict that swirled around in his head. This change was instantaneous. It was as if he was all of a sudden about to explode with anger. Rage. But he knew he couldn’t because underneath that anger was pain. He knew that most of the time there is a deeper meaning behind the things we feel. He is the son of a therapist after all.
He had trouble identifying what it really was that he was feeling. What was he thinking that made him mad? Yes he was angry at the thought of rejection but… some of the pieces of this puzzle where missing. After a few moments and a quick glance over at a couple making out in the seats in front of him — CLICK— the pieces fell into place.
As odd as it seemed, him glancing awkwardly at the two lovers in front of him had unlocked a memory that was buried deep beyond the shit of the last few months - This specific couple went to him and Maeve when they where having problems and sadly, it was one of the last therapy sessions before Mooredales’ very own sex empire fell before them and crumbled, much like the relationship of Otis and Maeve.
Otis remembered them explaining their problems with communication to him and how Otis sat them down to tell them that *“a romantic and even a platonic relationship is like a bike - you have to learn how to ride it at first but once you do learn the skills to ride it you never forget how to…unless the bike is completely destroyed in a freak accident and turned back into metal scraps ha…” Otis paused as his thoughts trailed off for a bit until he remembered his main point “sorry…um the main point is … the point is that the higher the quality of oil used to oil a bike the better the bike works together to be ridden - the same is with a relationship, the better you and Chrissy communicate the better you’ll be able to ride your metaphorical bike… I'm going to stop with the bike thing but you get the idea right?” Otis asked as he knew he had butchered his words a bit but to his surprise and liking got the response of “ No, no, no that makes total sense. You’re weirdly good at this whole sexy-time biology therapy shit. Are you like extremely obsessed with weird reddit pages about relationships. My brothers friends’ sisters’ dad is on that stuff and he always—”. Otis had heard enough. “No, I don’t use reddit and I am sorry but I should probably be getting on my way home now as I said we could do 3.40 - 4.00 and it’s now 4.20. Mum wants me home for something so um…” There was a rather awkward pause. “so yeah um bye” Otis said quickly to get out of the awkward air that surrounded him.*
With Hope on stage still going on a Tangent about school rules, Otis sat in the plastic seat that was glued to the hall floor when the memory of therapy started to be displaced by Hopes annoying bickering. The seat tortured his back but he still smiled - the definition of juxtaposing ideas, but it was the thought of the therapy days that gave way to the invasion of a smile on his face for the second time that day. Maeve and therapy - the ultimate combo, the ultimate duo. Otis now understood.
He understood that he wasn’t really angry. He felt passion - Okay maybe he may have been partly angry but that was because his passion for therapy was subconsciously awoken by the sight of Maeve and her smile - because he felt the same passion for Maeve. If it wasn’t for Maeve, he would have never started to give advice as an unofficial sex therapist and so she will forever be a reminder of therapy - and of course love. But he thought about how passion is love, hate, happiness, sadness. All of these come back to his fundamental passion that he had not felt in months - Therapy. Maeve didn’t have the slightest clue when it came to any of his suffering. However, on the flip side, he didn’t have the slightest clue that therapy being gone had impacted both of them. For Otis, it’s been a slow burn of emotional torture. For Maeve it’s been both emotional and physical torture. Maeve felt the impact of no therapy straight away when Cynthia banged on the door hungry for rent money. Maeve had still not properly come to terms with what she had done to her mum and so this made Cynthia’s visits to Maeve's caravan all the more unpleasant. It was for the best but it didn't feel like it - luckily, Isaac made sure to constantly remind her of the good deed she had done…while he kept his bad deed to himself.
“And remember - please don’t run in the corridors. After our janitors’ fall last week. I would hate to have any of you in my office later on to discuss the length of your detention. Do you all understand?” Silence filled the air that Hope Haddon had just spoken into “Good. Leave at by the normal exits and have a productive day” Hope said cunningly whilst her eyes scanned the room with a wide grin plastered across her face whilst walking towards the left side of the stage before completely disappearing from sight.
Otis realised the assembly was already over and he had spent the majority of it sorting out his conflicting thoughts. Eric noticed but he knew Otis would work it out and so that’s what he let Otis do. “See you in 4th period” Otis said in a somewhat serious voice to which Eric responded “Otis you’re not about to go to war are you? You don’t have to speak like you are unless you actually are going to” Eric laughed ferociously with the long chain of “HaHHAhaHah” leaving his mouth. Realising Otis wasn’t really finding it funny and his talents of comedy and humour where going to waste Eric finally just said “Alright well yeah I’ll see you in 4th but please don’t do that thing where you let this whole Maeve situation control your life more than it already has - Okay? I need to hear you say okay before I go to class — otherwise I am going to be late”. Eric waited, standing there stationary with a smile and arms crossed knowing Otis would eventually cave in.
Otis reluctantly responded with “Okay” leading to a small laugh escaping Eric's mouth and the smile of Otis appearing on his face before they embraced in a hug. Eric walked away.
Otis turned around quickly as he wanted to get to class on time but he in fact turned around so quickly that instead of walking straight towards the end of the corridor to class, he walked in to Maeve and once again caused the items in her clutched fists to fall to the floor.
“Uhh…Otis!” Maeve partly yelled as she went to the floor to grab the items that had just been rudely misused. However, this time she was less harsh with her words and the so the word “Moron” did not leave the mouth of Maeve.
“Hiya” Otis said in the least confident voice he could summon. He had forgotten what it was like to even be around her.
“Just getting practice in…haha” Otis forced a laugh and awkwardly referred to knocking Maeve's items to the floor as practice.
“Practice? Practice for what?” Maeve was not amused and replied with a cold look on her face.
“Well um…. I was just joking because… remember I knocked your books last year… and so practice makes perfect and… I'm just going to stop. It wasn't a funny joke anyway” Otis cringed at the words he muttered to her. It really wasn’t a joke at all and it didn't even make sense.
“What class do you have now?” Otis asked.
“English literature.” That was Maeve's reply. Short and sweet. Cold and harsh.
“Look” Otis spoke spontaneously “ I am really sorry for what I said last term… and I would like you to know that I would like to keep being friends.” Otis paused “And…Its okay if you don't feel the s-” Otis stopped due to her facial expression changing. He felt intimidation and fear run down his body in the form of goosebumps as he wasn’t sure he would like the response that was about to leave her mouth.
“Otis. I am still really disappointed with you … and yeah the idea of being friends again is nice but if you really still wanted to be friends with me you would of at least texted me… or called me over summer asking to hang out“
Otis wasn’t sure if he had just heard her correctly - “What about the voicemail?” He said to himself - that was a form of communication wasn’t it? He didn’t interrupt her though as he was now thinking to himself about the words leaving her mouth.
“But there was nothing. How do i know you’re not just saying this to me now because it’s convenient to you since we’re already at school anyway?” Maeve said this with a mixed tone of softness and anger. She was hurt and she was trying to protect herself from any more damage.
“I didn’t call you or text you? Are you just going to pretend the voicemail doesn’t exist? What the fuck Maeve…”
“What do you mean voicemail?” Maeve obviously in a standoffish tone, confused with the sudden outburst from Otis. “I didn’t get any voicemail. And also I don’t understand why you’re angry…why are you angry?” There was an emphasis on the word ‘you’. Did i tell everyone that you’re afraid of sex in-front of the entire school or did I tell anyone about the time you came in your mums car? No i didn't… you told the whole school about how much of a selfish person I am and you have the audacity to even use that tone against me?” Maeve said without hesitation. No stuttering - just quick and deep cutting words.
Otis stood there and started to feel slightly embarrassed at his previous actions but also at the fact that she chose to ignore the voicemail and it felt like a blade had been pushed and twisted further into his already wounded heart - he didn’t understand it and as painful as her bringing up all the shitty things he had done previously in her response was to hear, it was nothing close to the pain that the idea of her not caring about the voicemail brought.
“What the fuck Otis” Maeve coldly repeated Otis’ previous sentence back to him - he felt upset and confused. Even more so than before this encounter.
“I’m sorry” Otis whispered “I’m just…” He took a breath in and then let a breath out. “ I’m just confused…what do you mean you didn’t get a voicemail? I sent you one just as the summer started…”
“You didn’t…you really didn’t Otis.”
“Yes I did. I know I did and the fact you’re pretending to not know about it is why I'm so mad at you.”
“Otis… there was no voicemail…so do me a favour and stop whining to me about one now that you realised you could of sent a message or called - stop acting like you even care”
“I do care.” These words softly left Otis’s mouth.
“Whatever” Maeve muttered.” Look when I’m ready to talk to you again i will but at the moment Otis I’m… a bit messed up and so… i just maybe need time”
“Fine…totally understand” Otis accepted her wishes straight away and began to think again.
“I have to get to class Otis…but I…um…its good to see you…kind of - you’re still a dickhead though” Maeve smiled as she thought back to the countless times she had previously said that word in the context of him and her and it was too familiar for her so it prompted the smile to be wiped from her face to show Otis that everything was still not ok and that effort had to be put in to make things right.
“Ha…see ya later then…I…guess” Otis said as he watched Maeve walk off to the opposite end of the corridor.
He realised he had spent 3 out of the 5 minutes of the transitional period between assembly and class talking to Maeve - he only had 2 minutes to get to class and he had art which was on the other side of the campus.
He looked down at his shoes and checked to see the laces tied up and tucked into the small gap between his cotton sock and the wall of the shoe.
He stretched his legs, placing his shins into the palm of his hands - first the right hand and then the left - Otis thought to himself “always important to stretch to avoid injury”.
Both legs on the ground… until one was in the air until his legs switched constantly as he ran and sprinted to class. He felt like lightning in that moment. He felt like he could give Usain Bolt a run for his money at this point in time.
He then felt…pain as he slipped on the wet floor where a “do not run” had been placed. He had been so self obsessed with his running ability that he had found himself unaware of the signs presence bringing him to his downfall - literally.
He got up but to his shock Hope Haddon was stood there watching from afar.
“Otis Milburn … headmasters office now!” Hope exclaimed with a strict and menacing Tone.
“Shit” Otis muttered to himself as he was suddenly remembering Hopes earlier bickering within the assembly hall.
The start of this day was not going great. Not great at all.
End of chapter 4