Chapter Text
Scaramouche’s eye twitched. His eyes were wide open staring at something or rather someone, Kazuha. It was all his fault.
Kazuha with his shitty charming smile and caring demeanor was talking with his friends across the cafeteria eating some fancy ass home cooked meal while Scaramouche aggressively munched on some chips that were cheese flavored or some shit. He wasn’t paying attention.
To say things had been going downhill ever since his break up with Albedo, would be the least. After his failed attempt to pick up Aether, the pattern continued every single time.
His eyes still shot lasers at Kazuha. His ex, the one that he broke up with. It hadn’t been the other way around in the slightest, yet over the course of the past few weeks rumors circulated saying the opposite.
Kazuha had dated and broken up with in order from first to the most recent: Aether, Albedo, Gorou, Itto, Thoma, Ayato, Xiao, Venti, Xingqiu, Chongyun, Dainsleif, Diluc, Tighnari, and just yesterday he had broken up with Cyno. He had dated all of them in a matter of three weeks. That was an average of a day and a half for each of them.
Normally that wouldn’t be any problem if people were getting constantly broken up with. It still left them easy prey for Scaramouche. But of course even Kazuha had to fucking mess that up too.
The boy decided to play matchmaker with all of his exes, except for Scaramouche. Aether and Albedo got together, Gorou and Itto, and so on. That left no heart for Scaramouche to break that he hadn’t already broken before.
For once his speed in breaking off relationships had penalized him. He was the only heartbreaker who wasn’t currently dating someone. The rest of them still kept their partners from before Kazuha showed up on the scene.
Every time Childe joked about it, Scaramouche promised him that he would personally stab a knife into his heart one day.
“Oi Scara!” Childe called from across the table.
Scaramouche snapped out of his trance of staring at Kazuha who was well aware of the eyes printed along the back of his head.
“What” Scaramouche gritted, “do you want dumbass? And don’t call me that!”
Only Kazuha ever used that nickname with Scaramouche and he was the last person he wanted to think about right now.
“Sheesh always so aggressive,” Childe remarked, “Anyway what are you staring at? You kinda like spaced out y'know”
“Shut the fuck up” Scaramouche growled out.
Childe sighed, “I was just trying to be nice…also you were staring in one direction for a really long time so…”
“It’s none of your fucking business, Childe, now go back to whatever you were doing”
There was a moment of silence where Childe hummed awkwardly to break up the tension before Scaramouche turned back to keep his eyes glued on the Inazuman.
Childe let out an abrupt fake cough before trying to continue the conversation. He knew he probably shouldn’t be trying to tease Scaramouche, but it was too funny to watch the other’s face contort in rage.
“So were you looking at Kazuha..?” Childe asked, slumping his head down into his hands with his elbows propped up on the table.
Scaramouche slowly turned his neck back around, his eyes were stricken with rage.
“I don’t give a fuck about Kazuha.” He declared pausing slightly in between each word. Childe looked extra strangleable right now.
“mmhmm” Childe rolled his eyes, “then what were you looking at?” He raised an eyebrow lazily too.
“Not Kazuha” Scaramouche choppily answered, “You look ugly when you do that. Actually no you look ugly period.”
Childe was dumb and he knew that, but even he wasn’t this dull to believe Scaramouche’s lies.
“So it was Kazuha, you’re not fooling anyone, Scaramouche” Childe plainly replied. From how much Scaramouche was obsessed with his ex, Childe would’ve almost believed the rumors saying Kazuha actually insisted on breaking up between the two of them.
“I already told you it’s not fucking Kazuha, now shut up!” Scaramouche defended.
Childe ignored the other’s remarks, “Look if you want to date him again then just do it. I’m not going to judge you nor is anyone else at this table. We don’t give a fuck about if you’re a heartbreaker or not. Even if you still want to be then just break up with him again. There’s literally no one else to date and you’re obviously still not over him.”
Scaramouche’s eyes flared and the rest of his face contorted into pure rage.
“I’m fucking over Kazuha. I don’t give a single fuck about that little bitch. He can go do whatever he wants for all I care! He’s already going around kissing every fucking dude in our grade with those stupidly cute little rosy pink lips that make me want to suffocate him by sucking the air out of those dainty little lips of his. But look at me, Tartaglia, I don’t give a fuck about him and what he does. Whatever he does is of no concern to me, even if everytime I see him going out on a date I want to stomp his date’s ugly little face in and take the chair across from him-”
“Scaramouche you should stop…” As much as Childe was enjoying watching the other rant (it was priceless entertainment), Kazuha was walking toward their table and Childe was a somewhat good friend and didn’t want Scaramouche to make a complete fool of himself.
“Don’t fucking interrupt me Childe,” Scaramouche continued, ignoring the other’s warning. Childe decided there was no stopping him now then, he already tried and it would be quite entertaining to watch his reaction when he realized Kazuha’s presence. “Kazuha can go fuck himself for all I care. He can go take those crimson eyes filled with a sea of stars that I used to get lost in everyday and his sweet little love poems that he used to write just for me every morning and go give them to someone else for all I care. I’m over him. Don’t give a fuck. In fact he’s not even worth my time to be talking about him, Childe, but I’m just saying all this to prove to you that I don’t give a single flying fuck about him and his shitty little dimples that made my brain go all fuzzy and warm. Don’t even get me started on how he’d blush and get flustered over everything ad how it’d make my heart swim; y’know sometimes I thought I actually loved him and he wasn’t just some shitty fling for attention and fun, but I just had to break it off in the end didn’t I? But I’m a heartbreaker and don’t regret leaving that little bitch behind one bit, he’s buried and dead in my mind as he should be. Just some irrelevant, incompetent, forgettable, kissable little brat-”
“Ahem” Kazuha cleared his throat with an awkwardly timed cough directly behind his ex.
“Who the fu-” Scaramouche whipped his head around to face the newcomer and abruptly stopped his speech in shock when he saw who it was. Fucking Kazuha and his little annoying little kissable rosy lips that spouted out sweet little nothings constantly.
“Oh no…don’t stop your little rant, I heard it all from across the cafeteria. Though, I apologize for interrupting, I simply just had to clear my throat, Scaramouche” Kazuha smugly began one end of his lips curling into a slight smirk.
“Well I was about done with my speech,” Scaramouche carefully picked words to reply to his ex. He knew Kazuha was here for some reason, “And if you did hear it all, then you’ll know how much I don’t care about you.”
Kazuha stifled a laugh. Was Scaramouche being serious? He was sure talking about how much you wanted to kiss someone was related to how much you didn’t care about them.
“I heard your little speech, Scaramouche, it was enlightening to say the least. I came here for a different reason though.” Kazuha explained, “I actually came here because I had a question for you.”
“I don’t care about your questions, Kazuha,” Scaramouche flatly retorted.
“Don’t assume I’m always talking to you, dear” Kazuha chided before he angled his head more toward Childe, “I was wondering if I could be a heartbreaker now, I have proven myself, have I not?”
Scaramouche let out a cruel laugh at that much like he had a few weeks ago when Kazuha first asked, “You? A heartbreaker, yeah no. Just because you broke a few people’s hearts doesn’t mean you’re a heartbreaker now.”
“I mean I think he qualifies,” Childe butted in, “he’s done all the stuff.”
“Shut up, Childe! You’re a fucking dumbass. He doesn’t qualify for any shit” Scaramouche shouted across the table.
“I find that a bit hypocritical coming from you, Scaramouche, considering you’re not dating anyone right now and haven’t broken anyone’s heart since Albedo if I recall correctly. Oh and that was a few weeks ago. In that time I’ve broken up with, one, two, three, four,” Kazuha waved his hand into the air, “I suppose I can’t keep count anymore.” Kazuha mocked slyly. He knew exactly how to get on Scaramouche’s nerves and it was working from the way the other began to glare at him even more than before.
“Remember, Kaedehara, that I was the one to break up with you. It wasn’t the other way around. Heartbreakers can’t have their hearts broken, simple as that” Scaramouche stated matter of factly.
“Ah…I see” Kazuha replied unamused.
“What made you think you could be a heartbreaker, Kaedehara? Just because you’ve broken up with a bunch of people. You’re not even dating anyone right now.” Scaramouche sneered desperate to get some rise out of the other.
“I suppose I’m not.” Kazuha boredly answered while checking his nails.
“Yeah, you’re not you dumbass. You probably couldn’t even get anyone if you tried. Your smile is so fucking ugly that everytime I see it I turn red from second hand embarassment”
Kazuha let out a deep sigh, “Oh I’m sure there’s at least one person I could get, but I think you should be focused more on yourself, Scaramouche.”
“I can get anyone I want if I wanted to, I just don’t want to right now” Scaramouche defended, “You should be glad I’m not trying to date anyone right now, it’d make it too hard for you.” He pointed an accusatory finger at his ex.
Kazuha rolled his eyes, “Please enlighten me, give me an example of who?”
“I- well” Scaramouche stuttered, “Well you probably couldn’t get anyone with your little stupid charming flowery words” He deflected. He viewed it as a smooth play in his mind. Childe was cackling in the background, but Scaramouche paid him no heed. He was a ginger.
“Oh there’s a specific someone who would instantly accept if I asked, they’ve been quite jealous of all my recent flings, if I say so myself” Kazuha remarked.
Scaramouche let out a little snort, “Oh really, who?”
“You”
Kazuha pushed his stupidly cute little rosy pink lips as Scaramouche had called them against Scaramouche’s own little plush ones. Scaramouche melted into the warmth of his ex’s lips, but that was only because, well actually he couldn’t come up with some excuse on why he was doing it. The kiss was short lived though, as Kazuha pulled away first and waltzed back across the cafeteria floor to his own table. Scaramouche was left in awe and had finally been properly shushed from his spout of nonsense.
“So why’d you take us here, Kazu?” Scaramouche asked. His legs were dangling over the edge of one of the pastel clamshell shaped structures that decorated the inner cliffs of Watatsumi.
Kazuha lay his head in the other’s lap looking up at the stars above, yet a better view lay much closer to his resting eyes. It was much warmer too.
The blond let out a small yawn in the other’s lap as he settled on a spot to nestle his head and was satisfied enough to close his eyes.
They’d been dating again for about a month, the start had been a bit rough, but they went on sweet little dates every weekend. Unlike last time though, Scaramouche didn’t plan on breaking off their relationship again for the sake of being a heartbreaker. Kazuha had taught him otherwise in their short period of separation from each other.
“I thought it’d be a nice place to go sightseeing! The view is incredible, don’t you think? It’s just simply magical, Scara. Though nothing compares to the view I have from here!” Kazuha peeked one eye open briefly and flashed a tricky little smile at his boyfriend who just rolled his eyes.
“You’re so cheesy, Kazuha” Scaramouche shook his head disapprovingly, but both of them knew he didn’t mean that.
“You like that though, don’t you?” Kazuha answered, already knowing the answer his boyfriend would give. He knew he wouldn’t admit it, but Scaramouche lived for the ‘cheesy shit’ as he called it that Kazuha gave him.
“No,” The other defensively replied.
“Your blushing cheeks say otherwise, Scara.” Kazuha retorted, peeking an eye open again to take a view at the stars twinkling in the indigo sky of his lover’s eyes.
“That’s just out of embarrassment from the shit you say,” but Scaramouche’s response in his little rosy cheeks turning a deeper shade said otherwise as Kazuha smiled, satisfied with his flustered boyfriend. He loved whenever Scaramouche was left speechless and flustered.
Kazuha listened to the sounds of the crashing distant waterfalls, the sounds of the sweeping winds over sharp cliffs, and the gentle breaths that his lover took. They spent a few more moments, savoring the landscape around them in all of its sights, sounds, and salty smells, but eventually Kazuha lifted his head out of the other’s lap and sat up properly. He had chosen this place for this date for a reason. History repeats itself after all.
Scaramouche furrowed his eyebrows, usually when they went out on dates for sightseeing, they stayed out relatively late, so late that usually Scaramouche ended up having to carry a drowsy Kazuha in his arms back to the car.
“Is everything alright, Kazu?” Scaramouche asked, while leaning in slightly to regain the comfortable warmth that Kazuha always brought.
“Yeah, I’m fine…Scaramouche,’ Kazuha stared blankly out to the cliffs and their respective waterfalls on the opposing side, “Well this had been fun”
“Huh, Kazu?” Scaramouche was confused, well of course it had been fun, but the words just seemed a little misplaced for Kazuha.
Kazuha still kept his gaze locked on the surrounding landscape and cleared his throat slightly, “I said that this had been fun, Scaramouche.” His tone was much more serious compared to the playful, gentle one he had before when his head lay in his lover’s lap.
Scaramouche narrowed his eyes for a second, studying Kazuha, when he realized that the other must be talking about the view. He assumed this was the first good look Kazuha got at the palace around them considering he had kept his eyes mostly closed in Scaramouche’s lap earlier.
“Oh, the view is nice, isn’t it Kazuha. It’s nice break from the shitty smog in Inazuma City” Scaramouche commented, still a bit confused with Kazuha. He felt there was something he wasn’t getting, but decided to ignore it.
Kazuha let out a little condescending chuckle and a sigh as he slowly turned his head back to face his boyfriend, “No you don’t get it. This has been fun. I’m not going to lie Scaramouche, you’ve definitely been the best out of all of them. I even came back to you again. I don’t know what it was about you, but you’ve kept me, how should I phrase it” Kazuha put a hand up to his chin pensively, while still keeping his eyes locked on Scaramouche’s wide eyes, “entertained, yeah that’s the right word, for a while. And y’know for that I decided not to dump you over text, so you’re welcome. I’m being gracious.”
Kazuha stifled another little sadistic chuckle as he saw Scaramouche’s mouth open agape, it was priceless, but nevertheless he still shrugged and smirked slightly before getting up and ruffling the other’s indigo hair before walking away as normal.
“You can’t just do that Kazuha!” Scaramouche yelled, and his only answer back was the distant sound of Kazuha’s footsteps growing further and further. It was a reminder of what he had done only a few months prior to Kazuha.
Scaramouche wasn’t sure how long he sat there, still processing just exactly what Kazuha had done. He didn’t believe it, Kazuha wouldn’t just do that. it was a fucking jerk move.
It was cold the way the wind prickled his skin teasingly. His empty eyes stared out to the sky above, not focusing on anything. He didn’t even notice the sound of softly thumped footsteps approaching him. His empty train of thought was interrupted by a pair of arms slinging themselves around each of his shoulders. One hand carried a sweet red bean filled taiyaki fish cone.
“Surprise Scara!” Kazuha exclaimed watching the expression of pure confusion bloom on his love’s face, “You didn’t actually believe that, did you?”
Scaramouche frowned and wrinkled his nose realizing the whole thing had just been a joke, “You’re a fucking brat, Kazu!”
“Well I learned it from someone else.” Kazuha hummed as he moved back to his seat along the cliff next to his lover and handed him the sweet.
Scaramouche rolled his eyes, and sighed; he probably did deserve that for doing the same thing to Kazuha, except well then he had actually dumped him. “I admit, I deserved that”
Kazuha smirked, “Well maybe you did, anyway I got you some taiyaki to apologize, Scara. It’s red bean, your favorite!”
Scaramouche could feel himself salivating as he happily took a bit out of the sweet dessert, “Thanks, Kazu. You didn’t get any for yourself though?” Kazuha always knew his favorite foods, especially desserts, Scaramouche could never resist those.
Kazuha shooks his head, “I have another dessert I want. You have something on your mouth. Let me get it off for you!” Kazuha held a sly grin on his face. Scaramouche knew he was up to something, but decided to ignore it.
Scaramouche rolled his eyes, “Whatever.”
Soon enough, Scaramouche found Kazuha’s sweet little lips up against his own, the taste of red bean swirling through their mouths. The sweet warmth from Kazuha’s constant kisses always made Scaramouche giddy with no fail. As Kazuha pulled away Scaramouche’s cheeks were left as red as the sweet paste in his dessert.
“You’re my favorite dessert, Scara” Kazuha commented watching the flush bloom even more throughout his boyfriend’s cheeks.
“You’re so cheesy, Kazu” Scaramouche repeated.
“But you love that about me, don’t you?”
“No” Scaramouche blatantly lied.
Kazuha sighed, “Well, I love you, Scara”
Scaramouche found a pair of lips up against his own once again. Maybe Kazuha was his favorite dessert too…