Chapter Text
My dear Patrick,
To answer your first set of questions, Timothy heard somewhat correctly, I am not leaving Nonnatus house, but the order, as the decision I have come to is that God requires a different future for me but I would deeply miss my nursing duties. .
I can’t be sure of everything that might happen, but I promise, I would love nothing more than to go into the future with you at my side.
That said, however, I cannot begin this journey straight away. I first must formally renounce my vows, and that cannot be done until after I return to either the Mother House in Chichester, or to Nonnatus (I am waiting to hear from Sister Julienne with arrangements), and of course only after I am discharged from hospital.
Once all is complete, I feel I may need a short while to know myself, before beginning anything new. Please wait for me, if that is not too much to ask.
I know you wish to see me at the sanatorium, but while I am still weak I must ask that you wait on that front also. I would hate for you to see me as a patient, or as something fragile. I have spoken to the doctor here, and he expects to be sending me home next month, so you will not have too long to wait I hope.
As we are beginning to talk of a shared future, I wanted to ask what Timothy is aware of about all of this. I don’t wish to intrude, but you and I see ourselves in each other’s futures. If Timothy doesn’t want to share in that, then we cannot continue, it wouldn’t be fair to him or to ourselves. Hurting him is the last thing in the world I want to do.
How are you? I meant to ask last time I wrote but I got carried away. I do hope you aren’t overworking yourself, I know how you can be.
Yours,
Call me Shelagh.
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My darling Shelagh,
I would wait a hundred years to see you if you asked, a few more weeks is a small ask. (Not to say I wouldn't miss you of course).
News of your return has brought me so much joy, and Timothy as well. He and I have missed your presence dearly. I cannot tell you how many times I have turned to speak to you only to find you not there. Once I can hold you in my arms I may never let go.
I have spoken to Tim, and I think he has suspected something for a while now. He said you have always been his favourite Nonnatun, and that he’s happy for both of us. Truth be told, I think I heard a mutter of ‘finally’! It seems he’s been thinking of this for as long as we have.
I understand you not wanting me to see you as weak, and so I will wait until you are home, but I do want to reassure you that I could never see you as anything other than inspiringly strong. You could never be weak to me. In fact I often find myself in awe of your strength, not just in fighting the TB and making this decision, but in everything you do. I distinctly remember the birth of the twins Meg and May, and how you flew to my defence when I was hit. The fire in your eyes was unmatched even by the sun. I’m sure that’s when I truly knew I had fallen for you. I offered you a cigarette that morning, I knew I shouldn’t, but I just wanted to be in your company a little longer before you returned to Nonnatus.
Life here continues much the same as ever, oh but I delivered a breech baby in a power-cut yesterday! In the street! Timothy had to hold the torch, it was such a rush! Mother and baby are settled at the maternity home and thriving, thank goodness. I think it must have been the most dramatic birth I’ve ever attended in all my time as a doctor, my heart was going so fast I thought I might pass out! As it was happening all I could think was, “just wait until you tell Shelagh about this”, how I wish you’d been there! I would have been a great deal calmer, and not nearly so afraid. Being in your presence does that to me. My love, you make everything feel just as I feel it should be.
Aside from missing you, I am doing well. Timothy is brilliant at nagging me to take breaks when I’m working in the evenings, and without our housekeeper I’m needing to leave on time to make his dinner, so I promise I’m not in the office all hours.
How are you? I know you said you are weak, is your health improving at all?
Thinking of you,
Patrick
X
P.S. Timothy has enclosed a letter of his own, I was told not to read it, so good luck!
Dear Miss Mannion,
Thank you for writing back to dad, he’s been so much happier since your first letter arrived.
He told me you’re recovering well and should be home in a month, I’m so glad! It’s very strange without you here. I’ve been at Nonnatus a lot the last two months, perhaps dad told you, and it’s clear everyone misses you.
Dad told me about you leaving the order, to be honest I overheard a fair bit of it (I didn’t mean to eavesdrop though, I promise!) and he told me about the things the two of you’ve said in your letters and feelings (it was an awkward conversation). I think it sounds great! And also very mushy. But I’m happy you’ll be spending more time with me and dad. You make him happy, and I can tell he loves you very much.
I know it’s been a long time since my mum died, but Sister Monica-Joan told me about what he was like afterwards, I was too young to remember. I know he still loves mum, but he loves you too, and you need to get better for him. He can’t lose you as well.
In the matchbox is a butterfly I found on the windowsill at school, can you ask the doctors if they know how it died? Dad said he’s a good doctor but no entomologist. I don’t know if I want to be a doctor or entomologist yet, probably a doctor, but dad says I’m too young to make up my mind.
Get well soon!
Love,
Tim
Xxx
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