Chapter Text
The moonlight peeked through the trees as we continued to approach what I assumed to be a small gravesite. The slow wind continued to whisper an unfamiliar tune as the path ahead became more and more clear; the fog parting where we walked.
“Here we are.” Hu tao spoke quietly, which was unlike her.
I pondered out loud, “A small graveyard? What are we doing here?”
The ghost turned away from me, “Oh, this is not a graveyard. There are few graves here. Let me show you.”
As Hu tao led the way to the closest grave, it became clear that it wasn’t well maintained. There were vines and weeds growing all around it, and the ground below it was relatively untainted. It was a sad sight.
I glanced at the ghost, “Whose grave is this?”
“I’m surprised you don’t remember.” The ghost didn’t look back at me, instead, her eyes were fixed on the grave.
I spoke cautiously, “What are you talking about…?”
Her voice was unchanging and emotionless, “It’s my grave, Yanfei.”
I looked at the grave once more. Her name was messily engraved, and the date of her death was… recent. The death only dated several months back. It was sickening to look at.
“Why hasn’t anyone taken care of it…” My voice became quieter, “And why are you showing me this?”
The ghost avoided the second question, “No one has been around to take care of it for months now.”
Maybe this is why she brought me here. She was upset that no one has been keeping her gravestone all nice and clean…! I suppose that’s a pretty good reason to get upset since gravestones are memorials for the dead.
I let a small smile show, “Well, you could’ve just asked me to do that! I wouldn’t have minded at all.”
“Oh, Yanyan…” Hu tao hugged me, “There’s not much you could do- but thank you.” She started to tear up a bit.
“No, I’ll come here once a week at least to clean it up, I promise!” The ghost hugged me tighter.
Her voice was weak, “I’m sorry.”
I spoke up, “What are you apologizing for? You never did anything wrong!”
The ghost took a deep breath and stepped back from the hug, keeping her eyes on the ground. After a moment, she looked up at me and started to speak, “This isn’t why I brought you here.”
Before I could question her, Hu tao took my hand and lead me away from her grave, and to another grave right next to hers. I looked around a bit and those two graves appeared to be the only ones here. Strange. This grave, unlike the other one, was newer and was maintained much better.
“This is why we are here.” Hu tao switched her attention to the newer grave.
I didn’t take my eyes off of the ghost, “Who’s grave is it?”
She took another deep breath, and her voice became hesitant like whatever she had to say was something she never wanted to, “It’s yours.”
My eyes widened. I immediately snapped my head to look at the grave. And there, neatly carved, was my name. Why was my name there…? This didn’t make sense. I’m clearly alive, right?
“I’m sorry I waited to show you this.”
I turned to her in shock, “This is some kind of prank. You’re messing with me, right?”
All Hu tao did in response was look away, tears forming in her eyes once more. But, unlike the last time, those tears flowed down her cheeks shamelessly. We both sat there without saying a word. It feels like I can’t breathe.
Hu tao broke the silence, “Your death… was sudden. You got ambushed by the Fatui on the way to this very spot. On the way to my grave. You died because of me. I’m sorry.”
Memories started rushing back, one by one. Her name. Her smile. Her pranks. Everything all became clear.
I gasped, “We were married, weren’t we?”
Before I died, Hu tao and I lived happily together. We dated for a couple of years before she proposed to me on the Jade Chamber, which was where we had our first official date, and our first kiss. She used to mess around all day, causing trouble, but I was always there to keep her from getting caught. At some point, we were able to arrange our schedules so we can spend more time together. I missed work to be with her… I never missed work before that- before us. I loved her more than anything.
(As Hu tao and I ascended up to the Jade Chamber using the elevator-like mechanism, the sun began to set slowly, and the light around us faded to a familiar red. We continued to hold hands as Hu tao led us to a table right on the edge of the Chamber; the view from our seats was breathtaking… but so was the woman guiding me. She smiled at me as she took out our food from a picnic basket.
I spoke, “The view is amazing.”
The girl across from me replied, her eyes never leaving me, “Yeah, it really is.” Soon after she spoke, she set our dishes down on the table. She made me my all-time favorite, Crab Roe Tofu. She then pulled out a fork from the basket and set it next to my plate. She gave herself chopsticks instead.
“Since when were you the romantic?” I said jokily.
Hu tao brushed my comment off, slightly embarrassed, “Oh hush.”
We both spent our time enjoying our meals and the other’s presence. The tofu was amazing, but ever since Tao and I started cooking classes together, I couldn’t expect anything less of her. It’s funny to think that just a couple of months ago she burned nearly everything she touched.
Hu tao finished much earlier than me, but waited patiently for me to finish, just like she always did. Once I was done and she put our dishes back in the basket, she spoke, “Yanfei, do you know why I took you here?”
I thought for a moment before responding, “If I recall correctly, this was where we had our first date, wasn’t it?”
She nodded and smiled warmly, “Yep, the only difference this time is that I’m the one who organized everything… I thought that it would be best if I was the one who took you out for this occasion.”
I pondered out loud, “Occasion? Did someone special happen?”
Hu tao sneakily grabbed a small box-looking object out of the picnic basket and walked in front of me so the setting sun was her background. She began to speak as she got down on one knee, “Yes, exactly three years ago today we had our very first kiss,” She paused and took a deep breath, “Yanfei, over these past three years, you’ve made me happier than I ever thought possible. You’re the most considerate, smart, and caring person I’ve ever meant, and I’m honored that I was able to call you mine. I was by your side at your lowest point, but you did the same for me without hesitation. You mean the world to me, so that’s why I’d like to ask…” I gasped as she revealed a ring from the little box, “Yanfei, my love, will you marry me?”
I began to tear up out of happiness, my voice was a bit shaky as I responded, “Yes! Oh my archons, yes!”
Hu tao had the biggest grin on her face after hearing my reply, and we quickly jumped into each other’s arms, hugging and kissing one another. Once we composed ourselves a bit, Hu tao took my hand and slipped the beautiful ring on my finger. It fit perfectly. We stayed like that for a while, basking in our joy.)
Hu tao nodded and smiled, her eyes still on the gravestone, “We were happy. Everything was great. That is… until I died. I don’t remember how I died. All I remember was how much I missed you.”
I spoke without needing to think, “You got terribly sick. I remember taking care of you. I loved nearly every second of it because we had so much more time together; time we didn’t always have due to our jobs.”
Hu tao laughed a little, “Taking care of me; that sounds exactly like something you’d do.”
We stayed silent for a little longer, until I finally asked, “How come I didn’t remember any of this?”
Hu tao thought for a moment and then spoke quietly, “From what I’ve learned through my years in the parlor, the dead almost never remember their death, or how their loved ones died either. I don’t know why it’s like that, but my best guess is so the deceased can rest peacefully with the hardships of their time alive far behind them.”
“I suppose that makes sense, but…” I paused, “How were you able to come to me as a ghost?”
Hu tao took her time responding, “It’s because of my history with the parlor. The day I died, when I moved into the afterlife, I finally learned what happened to the rest of my family after their deaths; they continued to guide lost spirits. They spend their whole afterlife helping others, and they do it without hesitation because that’s what they signed up to do their whole life the second they took on the responsibilities of the parlor. It’s a very noble thing, and I’m glad I get to be a part of it- it would definitely be better than sitting around doing nothing in some magical afterlife for eternity~!”
We laughed together for a bit, then I uttered, “How did you find me?”
The ghost smiled, “I’ve been looking over you all this time, Yanyan. And just as my ancestors, I’ve been guiding spirits… so when I saw what happened to you, I made sure that I was the one to guide you.”
I smiled back, but after a second, another question appeared in my mind, “How come it took so long for you to guide me… and why did everything feel so… real.”
Hu tao took another deep breath, “Because you quickly became a lost spirit, you made up nearly everything. That’s why no one important from your past life appeared to you in person but me: they weren’t dead. It’s how some lost spirits cope without knowing it,” She paused for a moment, then continued, “And I took so long to tell you because… I wanted to be with you as much as possible before you had to move on. I know it was selfish, but in the afterlife, we wouldn’t get nearly as much time together. I didn’t know if I’d see you again after this,” She let out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding, “Eventually, you started to notice that things were wrong. Your fake perception of the living world was slowly crumbling. So, I knew I had to break the news before anything bad happened to you.”
My head was spinning. How could any of this be real? How does she expect me to believe all of this?
But then again, why wouldn’t I believe her? She’s the one I loved most. She’s the one I love most.
“This is hard to comprehend,” I muttered.
Hu tao reached for my hand, and for the first time since she appeared to me, I was able to feel her. Her warmth. It was all so familiar, and I can’t believe I was able to go so long without it. Before I could stop them, tears started flowing down my cheeks.
The director lifted her hand and wiped my tears, “I’m sorry it had to end like this, love.”
My emotions poured out, “I’m glad we got to hang out for these last months, even if most of it was fake.”
Hu tao’s face changed to one of sadness, but not pity, “Oh, Yanyan…” She pulled me close and pressed her lips to mine. I quickly kissed her back, ignoring the salty tears still flowing down the sides of my face. The kiss was loving, and even though it’s been a little over a year since we’ve been together, it was natural. The director pulled away first, then spoke, “I love you so much, but it’s time to go.”
I nodded, knowing what she was referring to, “I love you too, Taotao.” She held my hand as she guided me to a peaceful-looking place. It reminded me of a park. There were trees lining the path, and a big tree right in the middle that was surrounded by benches. The only things that stuck out were the lack of any clouds in the sky and the nearly transparent people that roamed around minding their own business.
This must be “the other side”, the border. I’m sure it has other names, but I can’t think of them right now. Either way, it’s beautiful.
Hu tao broke the silence, her downhearted voice barely being audible, “I guess this is goodbye.”
I squeezed her hand and smiled, “No, it’s not. We’ll see each other again.”
She looked back up at me with surprise, “But I’ll be guiding spirits.”
“You’ll be guiding them right to this border, won’t you? I’ll wait for you here. We’ll just have to work around your work schedule like we did when we were living.” I kissed her forehead
The director’s face turned scarlet, “But, what about your eternal rest?? Won’t you be busy- uhh… resting?”
I spoke sternly, but with care, “No, Tao. I’d much rather wait here if it meant I get to see you more. Besides, doesn’t ‘eternal rest’ sound boring? I’d have a lot more fun hanging out with you.”
Hu tao began to cry, and her voice was shaky, “You’re right. That does sound boring.” She sniffled, “I love you so much, Yanyan.”
“I love you too, Tao,” I laughed a bit under my breath, “Now, it’s about time you go, your months behind on work.”
Hu tao laughed with me, tears still running down her cheeks, “I am months behind…! If Morax was around, I’m sure I’d be in huge trouble right now,” She leaned in, gave me a peck on the lips, and spoke out one last time, “Goodbye, Yanfei. I promise I’ll visit you as soon as I can.”
Hu tao’s hands left mine, and I couldn’t help but miss her already, “I’m holding you to that promise, director.”
~✧~
End.