Chapter Text
As I got off the ground and saw a fence. It was just a chain link fence so I just climbed the fence and started walking. About a half a mile later. I saw apartment buildings. It was also a crowded plaza, so I decided to do what all the movies taught me, to knock into someone. I mean, maybe I can get into their pocket. There was a bored looking woman arguing on the phone. She looked around and was walking towards me. This money I’m trying to steal is for a new bike, maybe even a car If I’m lucky enough. This is for Haribo, not me. The golden bear will bring me eternal happiness. I could meet the CEO of Haribo. Free Haribo for everyone! I went past them, making sure to bump into them. Like the media, we bumped into each other. I made sure to get into their pocket. “Oh, I’m sorry! “
“It’s all good!” I put their wallet in my pocket and walked away. A few seconds later I checked my pocket, to see what I really got. I then noticed the phone I stole wasn’t there. I turned around, looking at the person I robbed. The plaza was getting emptier and the time. We both turned around at the same time. She walked towards me and I was going to run but she didn’t try to beat me up. She looked impressed, but also annoyed as hell. I tried to just walk away but she grabbed my shoulder. Then she pulled me into an alleyway. “Hey what the hell? You stole my phone! I’m calling the cops!”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No! I just bumped into you and you stole my phone.”
“Did you steal my money for drugs or is it for a haircut? Cause I’d be desperate for one if I were you.”
“You’re not funny. I have places to be.”
“Well, I’m Pepper, what’s your name?
“It’s Joe.”
“Follow me.”
“I don’t trust you.”
“Well I saw you on the news in a security camera of a home invasion. You wouldn’t like an aggravated burglary charge and up to eight years in prison.”
“Fair point. Uh do you have a disguise?”
We walked down the alley, and into a building. It smelled musty and old. There were burgundy walls, the tops infested with cobwebs. A bed on the side of the room, with backpacks and wallets on it. I stepped forward and heard the wooden floor creak.
“Go shave. That beard you have is extremely distinct. Don’t worry, I have new razors.”
I walked to the left and opened the door. The bathroom was small, all scrunched together. I then got a razor and shaved my head. I then went back and sat on the couch in the corner. “Looks better than that horrible mullet and beard. Go use the money you stole from me and buy some clothes from the goodwill next to our building. Or just steal 'em! I dunno if you're good at shoplifting. I’m more of a pickpocket, but stores can be easy depending on who’s there.”.
I walked out of the crappy house. I walk about 50 feet out of the alley and see the Goodwill. I walk in, looking confident. When I was in college, I used to have to shoplift. But It’s been 6 years since I was in college, and I was short on money. I went to the clothes aisle and picked some stuff up. Mainly jackets, pants, and a few shirts. I went to the checkout, planning to just buy it this time. I then saw a stand of Haribo, and I couldn’t help myself. I would kill for this stuff. I picked up the whole stand, and ran out with the clothes. I heard a man yell something incoherent and start running like an insane man. I saw Pepper and we ran.
“RUN!” There were the police responding to the scene running from the direction we were going back to the house. We start running down the other way and towards the mall. It was a horrible idea to do this.
“Joe! Drop the Candy Stand Dumbass!”
“Hell No! This shit is Haribo, it's better than life!”
“Are you high!? They can see us better with it. Drop the goddamn stand!” I am so annoyed at this point. Like why the fuck would you drop Haribo!? But there's no point. We reached a crowd of people. I Pushed past everyone and we reached the mall. We ran into the mall bathroom. We locked ourselves in the janitor closet that was open and I just put the stand down. “JOE.”
“The hell do you want?”
“We would have been done if we weren’t lucky. Why did you give a shit about some gummy bears? Does it matter?!” I just hand her a pack and she opens it and starts eating. It was the twin Snakes flavor. Two Snakes. One sweet one sour, both tasty. Both snakes live in harmony and allow themself to be conjoined and stuffed into a pack that I start chomping down.
I open the janitor door and we leave. Pepper slaps me in the face. I slapped her back and I walked away. I still had her wallet, so I could buy anything.
I walked to the library to research Haribo. I walked in, holding a bag of Haribo Peaches. The librarian looked at me,
“Sorry, but food or drink isn’t allowed.” I went up to him, threw him the bag. He caught it right before it hit him square in the head. With a reassuring look in my eyes, I said,
“Keep the change.” He stared at me with a bewildered look for a few seconds before walking away. I looked through every shelf in the library before finding 3 books regarding gummy bears. I sat down and started to read “Das Haribo-Ledger”. But 5 pages in I realized I couldn’t read German. God damn it! I don’t even know German even though I love Haribo. Am I a fake fan? Am I a fraud? I feel awful, I feel like throwing up. Am I a fake fan for not knowing German? I need to know this knowledge that this book is providing me. It’s a tease, it knows the knowledge, but I can’t decipher it. I tried to log onto the computer but didn’t have a library card.
I went up to the librarian, shame on my face. Tears welling up in my eyes, I submit to him. He has the power, he can deny me a library card or he could give me mercy. If I do not get the card, I will give up on everything. The librarian looks at me smugly, while eating the Haribo Peaches I gave him. My throat was getting tighter, as I was about to speak. The librarian stops eating, and I swallow my fear, the lump in my throat going down. Then, as I started speaking, the librarian got up,
“Sir, do you need help?”. It was like he could read my mind. This is no normal human.
“May… Uh, ma- may I have a library card!?” He looked at me for a second, and then got up, a semi-serious look on my face. Without saying a word, he went into a drawer. I felt sweat on my forehead, what is he doing? Is he getting a gun, is he calling the cops, maybe he recognized me from the CCTV Footage of the house incident. Did that bitch Pepper rat me out from the theft. God I hate her. She dares to question my love of Haribo. No one does that! She stole the phone I stole. God damn her. Ever since that bombing, Haribo is the only thing that I care about. Haribo is my love, Haribo has consumed my life, as I consume Haribo. I still need to find the Haribo Bear. I still need to do so many things!
“Sir? Are you listening?”
“Uh, yes.”
“What is your name?”
“Joe Doe, thank you.”
“Here’s your card, just leave my bubble please!” I finally had the card. Now I have the power. I walked up to the computer, with the power to use the computer. I booted the computer. I needed to look up the Haribo Factory and where the CEO is. I need to talk to him. It seemed like it just opened recently. It was on 12488 Goldbear Drive in Pleasant Prairie in Wisconsin, near Milwaukee. But that’s not the place I need to go to. The CEO has a mansion near the factory that he lives in. I need to infiltrate his house and talk to him. I have enough money from stealing Pepper’s wallet to have a flight. I looked up the legendary CEO’s name. The legend's name. That would be Hans Riegel.
Time to get on a flight.