Chapter Text
Steve’s POV
“C’mon, it'll be fun,” Robin whines to him.
“Maybe I don’t feel like fun, tonight, Rob,” Steve says. He knows he’s moping and has been for the last week. Now Robin is begging him to come to some open mic night.
“Well, I feel like having fun and you’re basically my only friend, so you are contractually obligated to come with me...because I don’t have my license,” she says as she pouts.
“Contractually obligated, huh,” Steve asks with the first smile he’s had in a week.
“Yep, you signed the friendship contract in Starcourt and it says that you have to have fun with me,” she says as she smiles.
Steve sighs, “Okay, okay, I’ll go.”
“Great! It starts at 9 so, pick me up at 8:30. Also, don’t dress like this,” she says waving her hands.
“Like what,” Steve asks looking at himself. He’s wearing jeans and a polo.
“Like a dad taking his kid to a concert. Think of this as a friend date, so go home, spruce yourself up, and you and me are going to have a great night and hopefully at the end of it, you’ll thank me for dragging your butt out of your house,” she says as she heads out of the video store.
A few hours later Steve is staring at himself in his mirror. He’s just finished his hair. He spent 20 minutes trying to figure out what to wear. He pulls out his favorite pair of hi-top converses, throws on a pair of dark blue jeans, and Robin had said no polo, so instead, he finds his favorite ratty black t-shirt and throws on the one and only leather jacket he owns. He knows he’ll end up ripping it off before the end of the night because of the heat but for now, he’s going for relaxed and fun.
He picks Robin up and soon they pull up to a ratty looking bar. The Hideaway. He has never once heard of this place and it’s probably because it definitely was never his scene when he would party. He looks up at the neon sign, the a-w-a-y have burned out so now it just says “hide,” which is exactly what Steve feels like doing.
“Robin, you can’t be serious?”
“As a heart attack, Harrington. Now, c’mon, we’re gonna be late and I don’t wanna miss the show,” she says as she gets out of the car and rushes into the building. Steve sighs and follows her. The place isn’t as bad on the inside but it’s dead. There’s maybe three or four older men at the bar, already deep into their night’s drinking.
He finds Robin sitting at a table near the stage and as he sits down he sees the name on the drum kit.
Corroded Coffin.
Eddie’s band.
“Robin, no. Nope. Why am I here? I don’t want to see Eddie or his damn band. I’m going back to the car and I’ll wait for you there,” he says as he turns to leave.
Robin quickly grabs his wrist, “No, Steve, listen to me. You are going to want to stay. You need to talk to Eddie about what you saw. No dancing around it. I don’t think you know the whole story.”
“Then tell me Robin. Tell me the whole story. Why should I stay. He obviously was only interested in messing around. He didn’t want anything more than that and, I’m tired of one night stands.”
“Steve it isn’t my story to tell, please. Trust me. Stay,” she practically begs him. He knows the face she’s giving him. She’s not going to let him go to the car without a fight and honestly, he doesn’t have much fight in him tonight.
The lights dim a bit as a burly man with wild gray hair and in more leather than Steve as ever seen on one person walks out on stage. He taps the mic and the feedback echos across the small bar.
“Hello, hello. Here for your listening enjoyment, Corroded Coffin,” he says and then walks off stage.
Robin begins clapping very enthusiastically. She’s the only person clapping as they take the stage. Eddie is the last to come out and Steve is pretty sure his heart is planted firmly in his throat and all of the blood has drained from his brain as he looks at Eddie.
He’s gorgeous. A vision in black.
He’s got his hair pulled back in a low ponytail. He’s wearing torn up black jeans. He was in a t-shirt, one of his band shirts. The arms had been cut out and it was barely on Eddie. Steve can see tattoos that he never knew Eddie had and hints of even more that are still hidden. And is that...eyeliner?
Eddie’s looking down as he adjusts his guitar. He looks up and freezes when he sees Steve. Steve can’t read his expression. Eddie leans into the mic.
“We’re Corroded Coffin. The first song we’re going to do. Well, let’s just say, heartbreak’s a bitch, and sometimes, you try to give your heart to someone but they decide to make assumptions and it ends up feeling like they shot you Straight Through the Heart.”
Eddie strums the first chord, his eyes never leaving Steve.
Eddie’s Pov
Eddie hears the MC announce him and the guys. They head out and Eddie trails behind. He bounces on stage and gets behind the mic and positions his guitar. He looks up, expecting the same mostly empty audience but he locks eyes with Steve Harrington.
He freezes as they stare at each other. Goddamn it, why does he look so good. Better yet, why is he here? Eddie sees Robin sitting next to Steve, her eyes going from Steve to Eddie and back to Steve. Damn it Buckley. Eddie steels himself and leans into the mic. He may not be able to say what he needs to say but he certainly can sing it.
“We’re Corroded Coffin. The first song we’re going to do. Well, let’s just say, heartbreak’s a bitch, and sometimes, you try to give your heart to someone but they decide to make assumptions and it ends up feeling like they shot you Straight Through the Heart.”
Hanging from the cobwebs in you mind
It looks like a long, long way to fall
No one ever told me life was kind
I guess I never heard it, never heard it all
Eddie starts the song. He’s keeping his eyes on Steve. He’s taking a really big chance here that the man will even understand what he’s trying to say but with Robin sitting with him, no one has to know the song isn’t for her.
Living in a world of make believe
I can hide behind what's real
But wearing your emotions on your sleeve
And they all know what you feel
After leaving Robin earlier, he’d thought about it. He should have told Steve but, if he was completely honest with himself, he’s not the best at that sort of thing. He can weave stories that will bring his players to tears but when it comes to his own feelings. When it’s more than make believe, he freezes up. Sure, he can flirt all he wants but that comes easy to him and he had hoped that would be enough for Steve to understand his feelings. He was being as obvious as he could and keep them both safe.
And here it comes again
Straight through the heart
Straight through the heart
Oh, never tell a secret with your eyes
It's the eyes that let you down
Tell a little truth with many lies
It's the only way I've found
Steve is looking at him and there is so much confusion and sadness in those eyes of his. All Eddie wants is for Steve to understand where his heart actually was. He wants Steve in a way he hasn’t wanted anyone. Not since Keith. He finally felt like with Steve he could let his heart out from behind all of the chains and armor he’d wrapped around it. He thought Steve could be the one he could give it to and know it would never get broken again. But they both threw daggers at the other because they were both too bull headed to actually *talk.*
Shout to the wind
How can you hurt me this way
Oh, once it begins
It looks like it's coming to stay
Steve finally broke the eye contact and Eddie nearly faltered in his notes as he watched Steve get up from the table he sat at with Robin and quickly make his way outside. Robin followed him out a few moments later. He finished the song. They performed a few more songs before taking a break.
Neither Steve or Robin had come back. Eddie’s chest ached. He was just so angry at himself. He should have known that Steve’s sudden change was because of Todd. He could have explained in that moment but instead he got angry, threw up the armor and broke both of their hearts. Eddie turns toward the guys.
“Hey, I’m going to take a smoke break. I’ll be back in a few and we’ll finish the set.”
He grabbed his beer and walked backstage and out of the back door where he would typically go to smoke. He leans against the brick of the building under the one and only light above the door. He leans his head back against the brick as he smokes, closing his eyes. He should have talked to Steve sooner. He shouldn’t have let the misunderstanding fester. It did both of them a disservice. He finishes his cigarette and goes to open the door but finds himself running directly into Steve.
“Can we talk,” he asks.
Steve’s POV
Steve was entranced. He knew Eddie could play but never once had he told him that he was the lead singer. Steve’s chest had clenched at the introduction as the song was for him. No one inside cared. Robin had taken his hand and squeezed it.
Then the song starts and Steve cannot tear his eyes away from Eddie. He was born to be a rock star. The way he moves, the way he croons into the microphone. Those big brown eyes are staring into his soul. Steve’s heart begins to pound as he starts to realize the song’s meaning.
He’s hurt Eddie as badly as he believed Eddie had hurt him. Robin had said the story wasn’t what he thought. What did she mean? He knows what he saw. That man was kissing Eddie but now he was questioning himself. Had Eddie been kissing him back? While the man’s hands were all over Eddie, Eddie seemed frozen. Steve had ran away from confrontation instead of meeting it head on.
Steve wasn’t very good with expressing his feelings. Robin could read him but she had told him that his eyes always betrayed him because he could be smiling but his eyes would show the pain he actually felt. He could feel his eyes beginning to sting from unshed tears, his breathing was getting faster.
He couldn’t be here.
He couldn’t let Eddie see him so vulnerable.
He jumped out of his seat and stormed out of the front door. Once through the doors he bent over, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. Why had he stayed? Why hadn’t he just confronted Eddie that day and gotten this whole mess sorted out?
“Steve! Steve are you okay,” Robin says as she is suddenly by his side. He can feel her hand on his back, between his shoulder blades.
“I shouldn’t be here, Rob. All I’m doing is hurting myself. Hurting Eddie,” he says as he stands upright, his arms above his head now as he’s trying to will himself to breathe slower, get his heart rate back to normal. Stop the damn panic attack that he can feel brewing. Since the incident with the Russians, he’d been having panic attacks on top of the random migraines.
Robin begins to spiral as she paces.
“No, no, I shouldn’t have made you come. Eddie just came in the other day and of course I’m going to defend your honor because you’re my best friend. So, I yelled at him and apparently neither of you took the time to talk things out. Then told me that this total jackass named Todd Owens basically pushed him up against his van and kissed him without his consent which is a totally uncool because consent is like the number one thing you should have when you kiss someone. And he just looked so damn sad. And you know how he has those big Bambi eyes. And I guess-”
“Wait, Robin, slow down. What do you mean, he kissed Eddie without his consent,” Steve asks.
“Yeah, this asshole has been obsessed with Eddie for weeks and when he figured out Eddie had feelings for you, he tried to do some dumbass alpha male bullshit and literally pulled him out of his van as he waited on you and kissed him. Eddie said that it was only for a few seconds before he kneed the jackass in the dick,” Robin explains.
Steve rubs his hands down his face, “Fuck..fuck fuck fuck. Oh, shit Robin. I royally fucked everything up. I yelled at him. I said some really nasty shit to him because I thought he was just going to use me and...and...”
“And you pushed him away,” she says, pursing her lips.
“And I pushed him away. I went full King Steve on him and I basically told him we could never be anything, not even friends. I was just so hurt and I lashed out like I used to do. Like I did when I thought Nance was cheating. Goddamn it. I didn’t even give him the chance to explain, just made assumptions from what I saw and now I’ve just ruined everything, Robin,” he says as he squats and somewhat curls into himself.
He had tried so hard not to be who he was two years ago, to grow up and move away from King Steve. He had found family among the very people that he’d once bullied. He knew it was a defense mechanism because if he got hurt, he hurt the other person more, made them feel worse. Fucking hell, he was basically his dad. He thought Eddie had hurt him, so he swung harder, cut deeper to make sure he felt worse, that he was more broken.
“Steve you can still talk to Eddie, you can still make this right. He still has feelings for you. Like you, his eyes will always betray him. I could see in those damn Bambi eyes that he really likes you and he’s only staying away because he thinks he isn’t good enough to be with you,” Robin says as she squats down beside him.
“That’s my fault. I did what my father does to me when he thinks I’ve screwed up. I thought he had hurt me so I made sure he hurt worse, make sure he thought he was lesser than me. How do I even begin to fix that, Robin?”
“Talk to him. I know it’s hard to tell someone how you feel but you told me everything you felt about him when we were in that bathroom stall. Tell him that. Tell him how you really feel about him. Tell him HOW he makes you feel. If you spill your guts to him, like you did to me, and he doesn’t want to try, then you can leave knowing you tried. You have to at least try,” Robin says as she pulls Steve up, “I think the music’s stopped, which means they probably are on break. Get in there and find him, Steve. Or I’ll lock the both of ya in a room together until you work it out.”
Steve grins and hugs her, “Thanks Robin.”
She squeezes him back, “Thank me when you’ve scored yourself a rock star boyfriend.”
Steve races back inside and sees Jeff and Gareth sitting on the stage drinking their sodas. He scans the room and can’t find Eddie. He jogs up to the stage.
“Hey, where’d Eddie go?”
Gareth looks up at him and frown, “Why would we even begin to tell you, Harrington? Do you even know what you did to him? He’s been moping around like a lost puppy for days.”
Steve sighs, “I do and if you’ll tell me where the hell he is, I’m going to fix it. Please, I really need to talk to him.”
Jeff looks at Gareth and they both sigh before Jeff answers, “He’s out back. Just, don’t break his heart, Harrington. He’s been good to us when no one else was and we don’t want to see him hurting.”
Steve nods and runs through the backstage area. He sees the door and swings it open, immediately crashing into Eddie. They look at each other for a few seconds. Steve waiting on Eddie to push him away and Eddie waiting on Steve to leave.
“Can we talk,” Steve softly asks.
Eddie doesn’t say anything. He just stands there staring at Steve, and unlike Robin, he can’t read the emotion on his face. Eddie’s eyes look almost black in the one light bulb. He’s shoved his hands into his jeans. But he hasn’t left yet.
“Please,” Steve asks.
Eddie slowly breathes out of his nose and his shoulders slump a bit, “Fine. Make it quick, Harrington. You already made your feelings pretty clear.”
“No, you’re wrong-”
“You have a lot of nerve saying that I’m wrong,” Eddie says, defense already up.
“No, no, that’s not what I meant. Goddamn it, Eds, you get me all tongue tied and I say the wrong thing. What I'm trying to say is that you’re wrong because I didn’t make my feelings clear to you. I made assumptions and I lashed out because that’s what I do. It’s what I’ve always done. If someone hurts me, then I just hurt them back twice as much. I saw you with that guy-”
“It wasn’t what it looked like, Steve,” Eddie interrupts.
Steve holds up his hand, “I know. I know and I’m sorry I didn’t ask you what happened. Robin told me about Todd. I’m really sorry he did that to you. If I’d known, I’d have kicked his ass.”
Eddie grins and Steve’s heart gives a little flutter. He loves the way Eddie’s mouth causes laugh lines, how his eyes crinkle when he smiles.
“Harrington, I’m pretty sure you told me that you’ve never won a fight. Didn’t the Byers kid kick your ass in ‘83 and Hargrove in ‘84?
“Yeah, okay, well I did win this fight with a Russian but that is beyond the point. So maybe I wouldn’t have kicked his ass but I would have stopped him,” Steve says.
Eddie shakes his head, “Don’t worry, Steve, I’m a big boy and I can take care of myself. Always have.”
“Yeah, I know that. Trust me, if anyone understands that, it’s me. What I'm trying to say Eddie is, I’m sorry. I need you to know that I didn’t mean what I said,” he hesitates but cautiously takes Eddie’s hand, the rings feeling cool against his skin, “I really do think we could be friends. After Nancy, I told myself I wasn’t going to let someone hurt me, to blind side me like she did. Then you appeared. I had been such a douche bag in high school and I didn’t even remember you and that’s my biggest crime, not getting to know you. Eddie, you have been one of the best things that has happened to me this summer. I came to work every single day hoping to see you, but I convinced myself you wanted Robin-”
Eddie laughs, “Buckley? Really?”
“Yeah, yeah, I know, lemme finish, Eddie. I need to say this before my brain catches up to me and I chicken out again. I, uh, like you, Eddie. And I don’t mean I want you to be my friend. Wait, no, I do mean I want you to be my friend, but like I want you to be more than just my friend. It’s just that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since we argued. I go to sleep thinking of your smile and wake up thinking of your eyes and wishing I was waking up...with you next to me. I want to see those eyes every day for the rest of my life, if I can. You have caused a seismic shift inside of me, Eds. I have spent the last two years trying to change into someone worth loving and I truly felt like you could be the person to show me that. And I want to show you that you are not a Freak, you deserve to be loved, too. You are so damn smart. You don’t need to graduate to prove that to anyone. And you are just so funny. I told Robin, I have laughed harder this summer than I have in years. I don’t read and you’ve made me want to read that damn king of the ring towers book-”
“Lord of the Rings,” Eddie corrects with a smile.
“Yeah, yeah, that one. I know that you’ve read enough to make the cover worn which means it has to be good. You have made a change in my world that I never knew I needed and now, Eddie, now I can’t live without it. I can’t live in a world without you in it. I need you to know that if I messed this up, if you want to be with someone else because of who I was and sometimes still am. I’ll understand. I’ll be heartbroken but I’ll understand. You deserve the world, Eddie Munson.”
And then there’s silence.
Eddie’s looking at their hands and now so is he.
“Eddie,” Steve asks, his voice cracking, afraid that he’s once again found a way to ruin everything. Feeling his body go tingly, his head starting to hurt as the panic attack begins.
Then he feels callused fingers on his cheek. They are so gentle as they cup his cheek. Eddie’s thumb slowly swipes across Steve’s lower lip as he looks up at Eddie with wide eyes. Eddie is fully smiling that smile that makes him feel weak in the knees.
“Harrington?”
“Y-yes?”
“I love you too,” Eddie says before he takes Steve’s face in his hands and kisses him.
Eddie’s POV
Eddie is speechless as he listens to Steve pour out his soul to him. Steve likes him. Like really likes him. He even wanted to defend his honor. He couldn’t hide his grin at that because he’d heard of Steve’s many knockouts and every single one of them resulted in Steve being the one knocked out. Steve takes his hand and it takes all his will power not to let out a little gasp. He hadn’t been expecting that.
He smiles as he listens to Steve tell him all the ways he cares for him. No one’s ever said that to him and he wanted to make sure he remembered every word of it. Remembered every moment of this because unlike with Keith, this time he knew it was all for real. This time when he thinks back on this night, he’ll remember how warm it made him feel. How loved.
Eddie loses himself in Steve’s voice. He’s never noticed how melodic it can be. How his deep voice can wash over him and make him feel like he does when he’s on stage. He tears his eyes away from Steve’s to look at their hands intertwined. Steve’s soft hands against his own guitar callused fingers feels right.
Eddie knows that things have happened to Steve that he won’t talk about. Those things have left him scarred both mentally and physically. Same for Eddie. He’s never told anyone about Keith but for the first time in his life he feels like he could tell Steve everything and not see an ounce of disgust or hate in his eyes.
“Eddie,” he hears Steve meekly say and he realizes he’s stopped talking.
Eddie realizes he’s been silent far too long. He reaches out with his free hand and cups Steve’s cheek and can feel the man trembling as he continues to look down at their hands, not meeting Eddie’s eyes.
“Harrington,” he softly says, beginning to close the distance between them.
“Y-yes,” Steve responds in a way that makes Eddie’s heart ache.
Eddie takes Steve’s face gently in his hands and finally tells him what he’s wanted to say since the first day in Scoops Ahoy.
“I love you, too.”
He crashes their lips together and Eddie knows that in the end, he and Steve, may be broken in their own ways, but together, together they are whole.