Chapter Text
Scene: Was Kazuha Supposed to be Drunk?
“I think I’ll take this one… I like the colour.”
“Alright then, lets us cheer for new friendships abound!”
The script had actually accounted for the scene to cut then and there, but the cast had another idea on their mind. Going for their respective drinks as soon as the director says cut.
“Wait, there are actual drinks in those cups?” The director asked.
“Yeah, we asked for actual drinks.” Xinyan said, fanning some of the sweat that had been dripping down her forehead, “The set’s stupidly heated today, we might as well sneak in a lil’ bit of a sip while we’re at it, right?”
Pondering at the request for a moment, a props member beside the director merely shrugged, “They’re already at it, might as well let it be, boss.”
Relenting to the logic, the director shrugged all the same.
“You got three minutes, folks.”
A brief cheer of joy erupted from the on-set cast members as they continued to take their drink in.
Since it had been Lumine’s turn to shoot scenes as the Traveler, she sat next to Venti as she enjoyed the coolness of her drink. Shooting a small smile towards a watching Ajax as he stood by the side-lines, waiting for his girlfriend to finish her shoots.
A lingering bitterness in her mandarin mojito had suddenly stung her senses.
The hell kind of sour mandarins did they make this thing with?
Shaking her head to get rid of the bitter taste, she continued finishing the big cup. Paying little attention to the flavour that had caught her off guard.
No sooner than it had started, the three minutes given by the director eventually ran out.
“Alright, people. Back to the scene!”
Setting back to the end of the cut, the cast simply prepped their selves with their drinks back on the table.
“Scene Four Delta, take one, mark.”
“Action!”
…
The scene went silent for a good number of seconds.
Xinyan then nudged Kazuha, who was supposed to get his lines going.
“H-Hey… Kazuha?”
“Zzz… zzz…”
“Is he…” Venti began asking.
“Asleep…?” Lumine finished.
As if responding to their inquisitions, Kazuha began groggily answering.
“N-No… Hehe… *Hic*, I don’t… Hehehe… get drunk…. Idiot.”
“Nah…” Xinyan waved her hand in front of Kazuha’s face, “Brother’s dead freakin’ drunk, bro.”
“What!?” The director turns sharply towards the props member, “When I said drinks, I didn’t mean those kind of drinks!”
“But it wasn’t…” Lumine was the one who interjected, “We all ordered juice and mocktails.”
“So, he got drunk on JUICE!?”
“Hehe… the *Hic* director is a… heh, fucking idiot.”
“SHUT IT, YOU LIGHTWEIGHT!”
“Wait a minute…” It was then Lumine’s turn to sharply turn towards someone, “…Ajax?”
The ginger who was curiously observing the situation bounded over, “Yes, dear?”
“Did you spike our drinks!?”
“Wait, what?” Childe lifted his hands in a show of innocence, “What makes you say that?”
“Someone put alcohol in Kazuha’s drink!”
“And you think it was me?!”
“You like to mess with Kazuha cause he’s a freaking lightweight!”
“That may be true…” Childe pondered for a moment, before quickly backpedalling as he saw Lumine’s fiery glare, “But-But, it’s not me! You took away my supply, remember!?”
Lumine clicks her tongue in disdain, “Fuck, that’s right.”
Kazuha then continued his drunken mumbling.
“Ha… Childe… *Hic* what a fucking simp…”
Xinyan giggled at the drunken comment while Childe’s face flared red.
“The fuck you say to me you little shit!?”
Stomping up to the set, Lumine went out of her seat to keep the Russian from reaching his target. All while Xinyan simply cackled at the scene, and Venti sneaks off to the side of the groaning director.
“See, actual drinks make everything a lot more interesting, don’t they?”
Despite the stupidity of the situation, the director could only sigh in despair.
“You know what? You’re lucky because with what’s been happening with Aether, Ei, and Ayaka…”
He gestured animatedly towards the scene of drunken Kazuha firing off insults against a Childe that was being held back by Lumine and a few staff members.
“This…I can fucking work with.”
CGI is Great, But Then Why…
“So… It is simply a matter of imagination?”
“Exactly.” The director replied, gesturing towards everyone on the set, “All the other cast members deal with the same shtick, it’s basically what we’ve been shooting with for most of the plot.”
Zhongli shook his head, aware that the director hadn’t understood his point, “No, no, you misunderstood me. I may be inexperienced with this… CGI apparatus, but I have an understanding of how to act around it."
"Then what’s the issue?”
“It’s just… there are no limitations to what they can make out of the item, correct?”
“To some extent, yeah.” The director reluctantly affirmed, whispering his next words, “If we have the budget that is…”
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
Eyeing him, Zhongli kept his suspicious tone, “What I am saying is… maybe there would be a way to customize the pre-designed projected object?
A shake of the director’s head confirmed Zhongli’s initial suspicions.
“Wouldn’t count on it. I think the design team would rip my head off if I asked them to make any changes to it.”
“Right, right…” Zhongli relented.
“You gotta understand, the studio’s also bustin’ their asses trying to get all these scenes animated properly.” The director lamented, a frustrated sigh coming out of his lips, “If Marvel weren’t hogging all the cheap visual effects studios, maybe we could’ve done something about your request, but no luck for the time being, pal.”
“I understand. It was just a fleeting thought regardless.” Placing his hands behind his back, the man turns away from the set, “I shall wait for the next item in the itinerary then.”
The director merely nodded, and they both went their separate ways.
Zhongli made his way towards his cast seat. Ningguang, situated right next to him, noticed the forlorn sigh the man released as he plopped himself on his seat.
“That sounded depressing.” She mentioned, her eyes still glued to her phone as the other busied itself with a drink, “Did the director lecture you about acting with the props again?”
“Not at all.” Zhongli replied hastily, leaning into his chair, “There was just a slight miscommunication… To put it simply, that is.”
“Oh? Now that sounds interesting.”
“How so?”
“You tend to criminally downplay your protest.” She said as matter-of-factly, putting her phone down and turning all her attention towards him, “Now, fess up. What’s bothering you?”
Under her piercing stare, he couldn’t help but crumble.
“Fine. Are you familiar with the creatures associated with the other so-called archons of this story?”
“Vaguely, there are quite a few of them.” She replied as she leans on the arm of his chair, “That’s what’s bothering you?”
“How shall I put it…” Zhongli mused for a few moments, before sharply breathing in, “We might say that some of those creatures could be considered their familiars, correct?”
Ningguang nodded slowly, still unsure over where this particular rant is heading towards.
In the meantime, Zhongli continued speaking as he pulled out his phone from his pocket, “So far, Mondstadt’s archon has a great wolf and a wind dragon as his familiars, while Inazuma’s ancient familiars encompasses that of a fox, and varying creatures from Japan’s rich trove of mythical beings.”
“Right…” Ningguang muttered, having gained no further understanding of his situation, “I admire your dedication to the lore. But-,”
He interjected her last few words, as his tone gradually grew sour.
“So, how is it that when it is my turn to be assigned a familiar…”
Zhongli shoved his phone up to Ningguang’s startled features.
“I get a giant toad that seems to have chronic obesity?”
Desperate Times, Doesn’t Always Mean Desperate Measures
“Psst, hey Diluc! Come over here for a sec.”
Just about finished with his scene, the redhead looked off the set two members of the casting crew waving at him to get closer.
“Something you need?” He asked as he took off his coat for the props guy to store for the next scene.
“Yeah, umm… just a quick question for you.” The male crew started.
“You are uh… close with Jean, right?” The female crew finished.
Diluc took note of how antsy they were, but a part of him was too busy trying to understand the absurdity of their question.
“I sure hope so.” He answered with a degree of sarcasm, crossing his arms, “She is my partner.”
“Great! Yeah, of course… hehe.” The guy began twiddling his thumbs, “Is just that… would it mean that you are particularly close to Barbara as well?
Diluc sighed.
Great, this again…
“You can put it that way. But just because I am involved with her sister, doesn’t mean that I’m automatically in her speed dial.” Diluc made a move to get past them, “Look, if you’re looking to get her autograph or anything, I’m sure she’d be willing to give it to you, if you’d just-,”
“No, no! We respect her work schedule as an idol and actor to be more considerate about it.” They moved to block his path, still anxious as hell, “But uh… the extras we just hired might not be so understanding…”
That made Diluc cease his steps.
“What?”
“You see, there was a bit of a mix up.” The girl tried to explain, her hands almost flailing about, “Someone gave out the wrong email to the extras that were supposed to be here today. And now, none of them are here because they think the shoot for Barbara’s hangout scene is for tomorrow.”
Diluc remained silent, waiting for more information.
“And the thing is, our boss is dying to keep up with the schedule.” She kept going, her gaze flickering back and forth from him and the outside of the room, “So as backup, he got people from her fan club who were able to come in for the day.”
Diluc immediately froze.
And by the looks it, he was none too happy about it.
“You what!?”
She raised her hands in surrender, “I-I know! It’s a terrible idea, but the boss said that desperate times equals desperate measures and-,”
“Not THAT kind of measure!” Diluc’s voice grew in volume, pinching the bridge of his nose, “You’ve basically summoned a herd of Alberts right up to her doorstep!”
“I-Is that bad?” One of them tentatively asked.
Diluc merely gave them a pointed glare.
“R-Right, of course… how silly of us.”
“Okay, you know what, what time is it?” He suddenly asked.
“Just shy of one o’clock.” The girl answered rapidly.
“Crap…” As soon as he whispered the word, he wasted no time in speed walking out of the set, the two crew members hot on his tail, “We might not have the time.”
“The time for what?”
Right as the girl finished asking, a loud crash can be heard from just ahead of them.
Increasing his pace, his voice suddenly became filled with resignation.
“Well, we’re too late I suppose.”
Turning the corner, Diluc pretty much expected the sight that came to greet them. While the other crew members could only look on with both intrigue, and fear.
On the doorsteps of her trailer stood a concerned Barbara, while at the exact opposite corner of the field, was about twenty extras cowering in fear as they looked as if their lives were about to be ended in mere seconds.
Which wasn’t too far off of a prediction, seeing as between them, stood a magnanimous Jean who was devoid of any of her usually friendly and cheery demeanour.
Absolute hellfire filling the corneas of her eyes.
Not to mention, the sword that looked a tad bit too real for her to be holding in such an unstable state of mind.
At the flick of said sword, all those cornered extras flinched. Fearing for their lives.
“You guys have quite the nerve to be snooping around Barbara’s trailer without her permission.”
“We-We’re sorry!” One of the extras spoke up, hands clasped together, begging for forgiveness. “We thought that she wasn’t in her trailer!”
“Whoop, wrong answer.” Diluc silently muttered.
In a flash, Jean stabbed the sword directly at the ground between the extra’s legs, her face red with fury as she stared him down.
“And you think it would’ve been alright if she wasn’t present?”
They all continued to whimper in fear as she skewers her sword further into the ground.
“If I find any of you around her without proper supervision or her personal consent again, trust me…”
The crack of her knuckles reverberated through the expanse of their surroundings.
“My sword won’t miss a second time.”
All form of colour left their faces.
“That should paint enough of a picture.” Diluc concluded, leaving the two crew members behind as he began walking up to the enraged Gunnhildr, “Time to defuse the situation.”
As he got beside her, he gently nudged her shoulder. Initially, she snapped towards him, eyes still raging red, before she suddenly realized that she was staring into his crimson orbs, and her own normal blue returned to her eyes.
“It’s just me, dear.”
“D-Diluc…”
He helped her up to a standing position, brushing the little bit of dirt that had gotten on to her shirt, before gesturing towards Barbara.
“Go on now, you make sure she’s okay.”
Jean was about to argue, but Diluc raised a finger to her lips.
“No buts, let me handle this.” He interjected, “Besides, she’s worried sick for you as well.”
Noticing that her sister had indeed looked concerned for her own safety, Jean simply gave him a nod. She flashed another glare towards the group of extras, who promptly cowered back into the corner, before making her way towards her shaken sister.
The man who was at the front-end of the group sighed in relief. Though still on his bum, he looked up to Diluc.
“Thank you, mister Ragnvindr. You-,”
“Don’t thank me yet.” His voice venomous, even as he calmly took Jean’s sword out of the dirt, “You all still have a shoot to do today.”
A huge gulp can be heard from the group.
“Like Jean said, her sword doesn’t miss twice.” He said as he eyed her sword, “Though if anything else happens, then you’re also dealing with me.”
He slashed the air with the sword, making a gesture as if to sheath the sword, while keeping his glare on the group.
“And for you information, I wield a claymore. So, even if I can’t slice you, I sure as hell can clobber your heads to the ground.”
A few hours later…
The shoot continues on as Barbara was finally able to calm down enough to get through her lines with the standards, she had wanted it to be performed at.
Though as she shot the scenes with the extras, there were two regular spectators who had slightly unusual gear alongside them.
Namely Jean with her sword, while Diluc held an incredibly fancy looking claymore on his hands.
Coincidentally, a note was passed on to all the extras by the head of the casting crew.
“Do not mess with the royal couple. They might be actors, but the woman can dice you faster than a sushi chef, and the big one can either chop your head off, or turn it into a cutting board for the sushi chef to use.
Best of luck!”