Chapter Text
They almost lock him in the batcave.
After finding that Hood had somehow managed to get past the manor’s security system and had established that as the last time he was going to repeat his “message”, Bruce had gone haywire.
“I’m not staying in here! I’ll go insane!” Jason yells from the infirmary bed.
“It’s the most secure compound by far and you’d be safest here,” Bruce argues.
“If he can get into the damn mansion he can get in here. Hood obviously knows all about us so he’d probably look here first.”
“Watch your language-”
“I said damn-”
“And stay put ,” Bruce finishes. Jason grips the sheets hard and glares at him as he moves to set up all the security measures. They stay silent even when Bruce takes the stairs to leave and Jason is left alone in the cave.
He has a lot of time to think in the first two days.
A life outside of all this.
He wonders what that meant for him.
For Tim it was everything the bats weren’t.
Friends. Lovers. Not a vigilante family or their network system.
Jason doesn’t know exactly where the line of his “life” started or where it ended. Sure he went to school and hung around Crime Alley sometimes with people, but was that a life? Was that what Bruce did? What Damian did?
Just try not to take after them too much.
Jason needed to get some friends.
The cave is big but he seems to get cramped and suffocated easily. There’s no natural light like in the library or Stephanie and Bernard’s places. The walls are bare of any socially acceptable decor, mostly reinforcing and weaponry. The air seems too clean, too sterile. He misses the smell of cooking or cheap incense. He misses the smell of old paper or the outside or tea. Hell, he even misses the smell of downtown Gotham.
Jason starts making guesses on how long it’ll take Tim to finally come get him.
The door opens.
Jason shoots up and sighs.
“Good evening Master Jason,” Alfred greets. He sets out the fresh fruit and tea on the table beside Jason.
“Hey Alfie,” he replies.
“And what might be on your mind young sir?”
“He’s just gonna break in here.”
“Indeed.”
“So there really is no point in holding me hostage here.”
“Certainly.”
“I can’t tell if you’re agreeing with me or not.”
Alfred lifts the teapot off the platter and pours the brew ever so elegantly into the cup.
“Your left shoe seems to have a bit of wear on the edge wouldn’t you agree?”
Jason looks down at his shoes and frowns.
“I guess?”
“Well then why don’t you leave those with me, yes? And while you’re at it do me a favor and let me know the address of your preferred repair service. Now if you will excuse me, I seem to have forgotten the sugar,” Alfred says as he turns and exits the batcave. Jason watches in confusion and looks down at his shoes the back up again.
The door is open.
Leave those with me. Let me know the address.
Jason kicks off the shoes and places them on the bed so that the tracker stays put in the exact spot as before and bolts out the door.
As he sprints through the manor yard to the front gate he sends Alfred the address.
=====
The sun is setting by the time Jason makes it to the crappy gate that secures Bernard’s apartment complex. The grass is dead and dried, leaves and sticks littering the ground and crunching as Jason walks along the path to the staircase. He never did send Bernard a text, so he’s kinda flying blind right now on whether or not he’ll actually be there.
He knocks on the chipped gray door and waits for an answer.
“I don’t want your fucking book leave me alone!” a voice yells, muffled by the door.
“I’m not religious,” Jason replies dully. He hears a thud and shuffling and a single “ shit ”.
The door suddenly swings open and Jason is met with a frazzled Bernard.
“Jason? What the hell are you doing here?” he asks.
Jason scratches the back of his neck.
“You know how you said you had some sick pillows?”
“Yeah the ones you dissed?”
“Fuck off.”
“I can close the door right now.”
“Can I stay over?”
Bernard looks shocked. His eyes flick down to Jason’s cast and back up to the bruise on his cheek.
“...Why?”
“Is that a yes or a no,” Jason asks. Bernard sighs.
“Just come in.”
He steps to the side and lets him in, closing the door and locks the deadbolt, latch lock, and chain.
“Should I call someone or something?” Bernard asks. Jason shakes his head. “Ok well I’m kinda at a loss here you gotta give me something.”
“I just- need somewhere to stay for a while.”
“I don’t know if-”
“I’ll pay for food.”
Bernard is quiet for a moment.
“The extra blankets are in the side closet,” he says finally. Jason fist pumps the air and faceplants onto the couch. It smells like an antique store and wine and Jason loves every bit of it. Bernard enters the kitchen and grabs a washcloth, fills it with ice cubes, and ties it with a rubber band. He brings it over to Jason and drops it on his head.
“Ow hey-”
“Be grateful squirt. I'm letting you into my home at least take care of yourself.”
Jason sticks his tongue out and takes the ice pack, pressing it to his bruise and setting his cast up on the table.
“How long until you get that thing off?” Bernard asks.
“Like a week,” Jason says, “They’re never that bad, just kind of an inconvenience.”
“You think you’ll be here for that long?”
“No clue,” Jason says. Bernard waves a hand around in an empty gesture and walks back to the kitchen.
“We can always hack it off with whatever I can steal from my campus’s art building. I'm sure they wouldn't mind.”
“Would you know how to use any of that?”
“What do you think Google is for?”
Jason laughs and Bernard leaves him to go study in his room. He lays back on the couch and stares at the beam of soft light spread out over the ceiling, pictures and posters subtly floating a bit off the wall with the draft coming from the cracked window. There’s a dog barking in the distance and someone is laughing in the yard below. Jason thinks that this is what his life would feel like if he took the right step. His eyes shut and he listens to the creak of the floorboards in the room above them.
=====
He feels something soft when he wakes up.
Jason doesn’t know why he feels an itch in the back of his mind saying to not go back to sleep, but he follows his instincts and pushes himself up. There’s a blanket laid out over him and he looks around the room. Bernard’s bedroom door is cracked just a bit and Jason can just barely see an old shirt of Tim’s laying on the floor. It’s dark outside and the curtains are still pushed to the side revealing a fully open window.
Jason frowns and blinks a few times. How much had that window been open when he had fallen asleep?
There’s a light scraping noise coming from the area just above the window and Jason creeps forward.
A hand shots out to grip the window frame and Jason slaps a hand over his mouth to stifle a gasp.
Next comes a foot and then a figure swings in all at once. They land on the ground in a silent crouch and Jason makes out the familiar shape.
“Nice place you got here,” Tim says.
“Listen if you wanna kill me just don’t do it here,” Jason whispers quickly.
“Why, don't wanna dirty your nice couch?”
“It’s not mine!”
“Whatever kid.”
“I’m serious. And be quiet would you? I don't want to wake anyone up as you’re putting me six feet under,” Jason whispers harshly.
“Christ, I'm not going to kill you. I never was, but saying it and tossing you around got Batman to freak the hell out so he might learn a thing or two. Now would you shut up?” Tim explains.
Jason furrows his eyebrows and rubs his eyes hard.
“You aren’t?”
“No!”
“So does that mean you’ll come back?”
Tim groans and shoves his face into his hands. After a moment he sighs and yanks his mask down and reaches to rip his domino off after.
Jason stares back at a weathered, tired, and bright green eyed Tim Drake.
“Not in any lifetime,” he says.
“Why not? They miss you Tim.”
“They miss a version of me. You can’t take steps back Jason. Only forward.”
Jason watches Tim rise to his feet and become haloed by the moonlight, looking more like a ghost than Jason has ever seen him.
“I don’t think that’s true,” Jason whispers softly.
There’s a creak from Bernard’s room and Jason goes white.
“Where are we anyways?” Tim asks. He leans towards the wall opposite of the kitchen and squints at some of the smaller pictures.
Jason blanks at what he should do.
There’s a quiet thud and then faint footsteps.
“Jason?” Bernard calls out quietly, “You awake kid?”
Tim freezes in place, face pointing away from the voice he’s hearing.
Bernard steps fully out of his room and finds Jason awake and wide eyed with a person standing in the back corner of the main living space.
“Who the fuck are you and how the hell did you get into my place? I’ve got a bat and I know how to use it.”
Jason’s eyes flick back and forth between the two and Bernard takes another step forward.
“I’m serious guy. I’ve got training.”
“ I know, ” Tim says, raspy and choked. Bernard frowns and the bat in his hand falters.
“What?”
Tim’s head turns so slowly and stiffly it’s almost like watching a toy being forced to look somewhere.
Jason feels the moment where nothing will ever go back to what it once was.
He watches Bernard’s eyes go wide, lips parted and face white. His breath leaves him and his hands shake as the bat slips out of his hand, clattering as it hits the floor.
“I know,” Tim says once again.
“Bernard?” Jason asks softly.
Bernard stays dead still in his place even when Tim takes a careful step forward. His eyes are glossy and breath silent.
Tim takes one small step after another, almost like he’s approaching a deer.
When he reaches a few feet in front of him, Bernard suddenly snaps out of his daze and takes a stuttered inhale. He steps back and Tim stops moving in turn.
“ Who are you? ” Bernard breathes. Tim pulls the hood completely off his head.
“A bird.”
A tear slides down Bernard’s cheek and his face suddenly twists with anger. He shakes his head back and forth over and over again.
“No. No you’re not. He’s dead,” he says while biting back a cry. Tim takes another careful step forward and Bernard takes one back. “He’s dead and the dead don’t come back.”
“I didn’t think so either,” Tim admits quietly. A choked sob escapes Bernard’s throat and he steps back one last time, back hitting the wall.
“ Why do you look like him?”
“ Because I am,” Tim whispers, “ I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye.”
Bernard finally gasps and begins to cry.
“You left me!” he cries, “You left me and so did she and I was alone!”
“I’m sorry,” Tim repeats.
“I was alone and nobody fucking came! Fuck you!” he yells, shoving at Tim when he gets closer. “Why did you leave me?”
“ I’m sorry,” Tim repeats again. Bernard grabs Tim’s shoulder’s and holds him stiffly at a distance.
“I know you are,” Bernard says as his voice cracks, head turned downward. “And that’s the problem .”
They stand across from each other like that and everything in Jason is screaming at him not to move.
Tim raises a hesitant hand for a moment, just a second, and curls his arms around Bernard. Bernard’s face tucks into the curve of Tim’s neck and he cries louder than Jason had ever heard him.
He sounds like a kid again.
“I had to keep going and you weren’t there!” He weakly punches at Tim’s side and shakes his head, tears soaking into Tim’s jacket. “I hated you and I was alone and I missed you.”
“ I love you ,” Tim whispers against Bernard’s ears. Bernard’s hands shoot around Tim to cling onto his jacket and head, fingers twisting in his hair and clawing into his back. “I won’t leave again. I promise .”
Bernard’s legs buckle and Tim guides them down to the floor, head turning to fit next to Bernard’s.
Jason lets out a breath as the settle against each other and watches Tim hold Bernard’s shaking shoulders, a tear leaving his eye as he closes them.