Chapter Text
When Huaisang sees Jiang Cheng’s expression crumble, he wants nothing more than to sweep him into his arms and soothe his anxieties. But he really needs to hear specifically what Jiang Cheng wants so he can respond appropriately.
Huaisang tried, for years, to tilt them off the precipice they’ve occupied into Something. To push subtly until Jiang Cheng got where he needed to be. Friends, lovers -- Huaisang would take either, but he needed Jiang Cheng to make that choice.
And it’s not that he doesn’t understand where Jiang Cheng’s fears come from, and it’s not like he doesn’t think they’re valid fears, but at some point, Huaisang got tired of putting his life on hold. So he took lovers but kissed Jiang Cheng when they were drunk. He studied abroad but shared his bed with Jiang Cheng whenever they visited one another. He lived his life, but he dropped everything when Jiang Cheng called.
In retrospect, maybe he wasn't being fair to Jiang Cheng or himself. But they're here and Jiang Cheng … well, he’s not asking Huaisang anything, but he’s talking, and he’s clearly hurting, and maybe waiting isn’t the answer.
“A-Cheng,” he says again. “Come here. Come sit with me.”
Jiang Cheng lets Huaisang take his hand and lead him to the sofa. He sits on one end, and Huaisang sits right next to him, hip-to-hip, side-to-side, still holding hands.
“A-Cheng. Do you remember what I said to you when we graduated?”
“You said you loved me,” Jiang Cheng whispers.
“And?”
“And that we should date.”
“And what did you say?”
Jiang Cheng swallows hard. He’s clearly miserable when he says, “I said I loved you and then I threw up because Wei Ying made me drink too much and then I fell asleep and I refused to talk to you about it again.”
“Yes. You’re an idiot.” Huaisang lets go of Jiang Cheng’s hand so he can sit in his lap.
“What… what are you doing?”
Huaisang rests his arms on Jiang Cheng’s shoulders. They’re close enough to kiss, but Huaisang has something to say first.
“I thought you knew that I loved you, that I love you still, and that you would eventually make up your mind to date me. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have waited so long.”
“What --”
“I’ve already been swept off my feet, A-Cheng. Summer camp, when we were fifteen. That was it for me. I haven’t loved anyone like I love you, Jiang Cheng. So. Do you wanna eat terrible American cereal with me at three AM for the rest of our lives?”
Jiang Cheng’s breath leaves in a rush. “I never want to eat that shit again,” he says fervently, “but I would like to sit with you while you do.” He looks away, like he’s gathering his courage. “Is that alright?”
Huaisang kisses him.
“Your terms are acceptable.” He kisses Jiang Cheng again. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For finally saying something. I missed you, and I’m so glad you’re finally here.”