Chapter Text
‘Why am I tearing up?’
The puppet couldn’t even turn around to look at this person, the person who could have prevented it all from happening to him centuries ago. He was shaking, not from fear but out of anger and despair. He didn’t have any heart to begin with but taking deep breaths was the only thing he felt like could calm him down in his current situation. But every time he’d try to shake his true feelings off, flashbacks of him kneeling and begging for her assistance. Every possible memory flashed before his eyes the closer her presence felt.
He was so deep into his thoughts that he didn’t notice that small gush of wind forming between his clenched fists and was about to throw to where his hand lead him until a warm and small hand held his clenched fist, suddenly all the anger, frustrations, sadness, and desire for vengeance disappeared. Lesser Lord Kusanali looked up to him with a reassuring smile, not letting go of his hand until he was rational enough to start a cordial and civil conversation with the Electro Archon.
Before the Lesser Lord let go of his hand, a soft whisper passed through his innermost thoughts; ‘I know you’re overwhelmed with emotions right now but I hope you remember that I am here, as your companion… as a friend.’
The puppet was left in awe, his clenched fists softened and he could only look at the huge Electro crescent in front of him. He could only let out a small exhausted sigh, taking one last breath in before turning around and facing the Electro Archon, with a faint smile.
“I deeply apologize for… taking my time in appreciating Tenshukaku’s interior. It’s my… first..” He wanted to scoff but composed himself not to. “Time being in a huge palace like this. It is indeed fascinating.” He even bowed his head slightly to show the Shogun his “respect”
‘Let’s just get this over with.’ is what’s all over the puppet’s mind right now, he wanted nothing to do with the Raiden Shogun anymore but deep inside him, he desired to at least lash it out before completely cutting her off from his life.
The puppet must have temporarily forgotten that Nahida is able to hear people’s innermost thoughts, like an older sibling scolding their younger sibling, she elbowed his leg and gestured to him to control himself. Only to get a small scoff from him.
“Oh no. I don’t mind at all, Wanderer. I’m glad you like the overall design. It’s not… everyday people comment on these matters.” The Shogun could only let out a small chuckle, sounding so amused and curious about her old companion’s so-called precious friend. Seeing how close they seem to be with each other, given how Buer would casually nudge him, exchanging looks that only they can understand. Ei would definitely call them a mother-son type of bond but given the Lesser Lord’s childlike appearance, it would be more suitable to consider them both siblings which reminds her of how she used to bond with the late Electro Archon, her sister, Makoto.
—
After hours and hours of discussions on a potential treaty between Sumeru and Inazuma. Both archons talked about how the seven archons originally bonded and the Lesser Lord, always being the one assigned to look after Irminsul therefore she just can’t go as she pleases to their gatherings, the discussion sparked curiosity to the young archon and the Raiden Shogun willingly would tell her stories on how the Anemo and Geo Archon would always bicker with each other (Mainly, Barbatos just teasing Morax) and how the others would just laugh and drink their Osmanthus Wine, cherishing each moments with their beloved familiars and companions.
Wanderer was getting bored and completely forgotten about the raging emotions he kept over the past few hours of being in the presence of his negligent creator. He kept yawning and kept his expression deadpan the longer the discussion got which was not left unnoticed by the Lesser Lord.
“Wanderer, I’m sure you also have questions for the Electro Archon.”
The Raiden Shogun paused for a while before shifting her eyes to the young puppet who was sitting right in front of her wooden table. Deep inside, she also feels something is different with this individual. It was not fear that she was feeling nor any form of vigilance regardless of being a stranger to her eyes yet just by being in his presence, everything felt heavy yet warm in her end. But trying to mask these unusual feelings away, she’d flash him a polite smile. “Oh. Go on, Wanderer. I will try my best in answering your questions.”
If escaping was an option right now then he would have definitely fled at this point. Just when he thought he was already rational enough to keep up with their conversations, nothing crossed his mind except all the questions he’s been wanting to ask over the centuries. If he recalls, he is now able to get a clear picture and understanding of what took place in Tatarasuna and what Niwa and his other friends had to sacrifice in order to save the furnace. He was able to get a proper closure on his part for that occurrence, but what about his roots? His beginnings? His creator?
He was nervous yet he knew that he truly deserved to fully understand where his mother was coming from. Millions of questions rushed to his mind, ‘Why did you leave me there, all alone?’ ‘Why was I abandoned?’ ‘Why did you discard me like I’m some sort of trash?’ ‘Were you truly concerned about my fate or did you just want an excuse to push me away?’ ‘Was I a burden?’ ‘Did I… truly not deserve your love and attention at all?’
The atmosphere was getting heavier and heavier the more these two stayed quiet and waited for the puppet’s queries he’s got for her, the Raiden Shogun slowly giving in to the unusual feelings building up in her chest yet also nervous for the potential subject the young dark indigo haired puppet may bring up.
“Why don’t you two take your time? I’ll just take a dook dook and be back.”
Nahida took the initiative to break the silence and awkwardness between the overwhelmed son and clueless mother, hoping that what she said would help in lessening the tension building up.
The Raiden Shogun burst out laughing softly while the Wanderer tried his best to hide his laughter away by facing away from the Dendro Archon, snorting a little from her choice of words. “Never thought that I’d hear the Wise Dendro Archon say that word.”
Nahida, not comprehending what his words meant, only took it as a form of compliment from him. She was glad that she lightened the mood, even if it was just a little. “In any case, do excuse me, I need to take my dook dook for now.” She stands up and walks out of the room, leaving the two alone, still laughing heartily from her choice of words.
“Did you just not hear her say dook dook?”
“Dook dook is a foreign word but it sounded… funny to me.”
“Your Excellency, I think the Dendro Archon meant… pooping.”
“Oh. Is that so? Everyday we learn new things, huh…”
Wanderer did not realize that he was just conversing with the Electro Archon, he wanted to slap his face and remind himself that everything about his past took place because of her. But for some reason, the current person he is faced with right now somehow feels different from the Shogun whom we begged and pleaded for 400 years ago.
Unusually, he did not feel any feeling of resentment and anger but more on his frustration and disappointment. It was a good sign for him since because he is not so overwhelmed with his emotions, he can talk to her in a civil and calm manner.
“Your Excellency, I have a question… No. A hypothetical scenario and… I want you to give me what you would have done and the reason… behind it.”
The Raiden Shogun tilted her head a little but smiled gently to the puppet, taking one last sip from her cup of tea before completely focusing her attention on the lad. “By all means, go on. I am listening.”
“Say… someone with a high status wanted to create a puppet they wanted to experiment on… For example, something that could potentially assist that someone with their daily tasks and errands. You know… this puppet can be of use to this someone. But then this someone suddenly wants to discard… no… abandon this puppet because this person does not want to intervene with the puppet’s life and fate. Given that you’re someone of high status, would you have done the same thing with that someone?” The puppet pauses before looking to the Raiden Shogun’s eyes directly, prepared for what was about to come out from her mouth. He knew that it was not the typical questions you’d wish to ask when you are in front of a ruler but his situation was different and he had hoped that the Shogun would not be suspicious of it.
“I’d say… yes.”
He wanted to scoff and turn his back on her but he wanted to find out more from his creator herself so he would willingly take his time and hear every word she has to say, no matter how painful it is to hear.
“If it were me, I’d let the puppet live their life according to what they truly want. I do not wish to assert control over that puppet for I do not wish for them to carry my burdens to bear with me.” The Electro Archon paused before taking another sip from her cup, now looking at the sun slowly setting before her eyes. “My burden is mine alone to carry and losing a puppet whom I created with my own hands and power because of my burdens is like losing a loved one because of my negligence, to put it simply… it would be like a mother losing their own child and losing a loved one is something I do not wish to happen… ever again.”
The young puppet stayed silent for a while, looking down to his Anemo Vision while caressing it gently,, a small bitter grin plastered on his face, whispering to himself. “What a joke…” then he looks up to the Shogun, still finding her so drawn to the view of the sun setting before their eyes. “But Your Excellency, would you not feel bad at all? What if the puppet felt useless or weak for your negligence… Sure, you do not wish to intervene with the puppet’s fate but… don’t you think that the puppet will be needing at least a little bit of your… affection?” He meant to say guidance but words were getting mixed up all over his mind but none of that mattered to him right now. “J.. just a little… bit.” His voice hoarse, he sounded so broken that it hurts to see himself, on the verge of breaking right in front of his mother. All these years of burying his emotions away and distracting himself from having to face his past and all it took was one single answer from his mother. But he couldn’t care less now that he’s in that situation. Regardless if his intentions were obvious or not, all he wanted was his peace of mind. All he wanted was answers.
“Affection, you say?” The Raiden Shogun mumbles, playing with the empty tea cup between her fingers while still being drawn into the evening skies, city lights livelier and brighter under the moonlight. “I guess… if it were me, I’d still let the puppet decide whether they want to stay or explore the world for themself. I want them to learn everything on their own not because I find this puppet useless or… weak but because affection is not something I am personally good at expressing. I’m afraid I might just lead this puppet in a bad path or future. The life of an archon like myself is always everchanging, sometimes can be for the better but… unfortunately, most of the time, can be for the worse. You always have so little to gain and much to lose. I’m sure Buer understands that as well.”
‘Always with the excuse, huh?’ For some reason, the Wanderer felt a sharp pang on his chest despite hearing all the answers he has been seeking over the centuries. But what can he say, I guess the truth really hurts. Despite all his anger and frustration getting ahead of him, his chest feels a lot lighter.
“Your Excellency, last question”
“What is it?”
“Do you think I’m a nobody in this world?”
Wanderer wanted to hear her insight on him now, after all the questions he’d asked her. Depending on how she answers will determine what his next actions would be.
“I think… we’re all a nobody in this world. Archons, puppet, youkai, oni, tengu, or even humans; one way or another, we are all a nobody. Some are more powerful than the other ones, some are weaker, and some just wants to live happily. But one thing is for sure that everyone has a purpose, some type of mission in this world, it is always up to us what kind of future we want to create for ourselves. So yes… I think you’re a nobody in this world. You’re a nobody with a mission so you need to find that purpose so you can become that somebody you so desire.”
The Wanderer stood up quietly before turning his back on the Raiden Shogun, heading towards the main door of her dominion. The Shogun gazes at the young fellow walking out of the room, “I hope I answered your questions, Wanderer.”
He swiftly puts down the dark circular hat before turning his face back to her with a small smile. “Yeah. Thank you for your insights, Your Excellency. I better leave now.” He puts his hat back on, not waiting for her answer and left the dominion for good.
—
The Wanderer saw one of the guards earlier who called him a ‘nobody’ and it looked like he was about to leave, just waiting for the next assigned person to take charge. He approached the guard with a sly smile, “Yeah. You’re right. I am a nobody.” He slips off a chuckle, a menacing one sending shivers to the guard’s spine. Before the Wanderer completely turned his back on Tenshukaku and left for somewhere. He ought to return to Ritou on the designated date by the Lesser Lord but for now, he wishes to have his own time to process everything he has heard from his creator. But one thing is for sure that he never wants to do that ever again. He still finds it unreasonable for her to abandon him just like that but to the very least, his understanding of his creator widened and he knew better. At least, the grudges he feels no longer feels like a hindrance but rather a part of who he is right now as a person, as someone who is still discovering their own path.
—
“Buer, who is that young individual you’re with earlier?”
“Like I’ve told you, Beelzebul, he’s a precious friend.”
“He seems like a good person.”
“...”
“I really hope he finds his path out there. The world is cruel. I hope he finds kindness in people, places, and things he’ll encounter. I do not know why I feel warm yet… heavy around him yet I also do not feel any type of vigilance around him. But I just wish him well and his future endeavors. He reminds me of someone I used to cherish. I would have loved to have more conversations with him. ”