Chapter Text
Draping a bow tie around the neck of his shirt and threading it in practiced motions, Wally grimaces at his reflection in the mirror.
This evening could go one of two ways:
One: His family is chill and doesn’t make a big deal out of the fact that he’s dating Dick again after all these years.
Or
Two: Aunt Iris recounts every embarrassing romantic endeavour of his teenage years to the rest of the family and destroys Wally on the spot.
He regrets telling her anything about his relationships. It’s perfect blackmail material. Iris might be mostly retired but she can still tell a damn good story and nothing fuels her quite like spite.
The fact that he hadn’t told her about Dick yet himself is enough fuel to keep her going for a while.
There was no way out of it. The moment Irey had blabbed to Iris about meeting Dick the previous week, his stubborn aunt had insisted on inviting Dick to this month’s Flash Family Gathering. Personally. Wally didn’t even get the chance to warn him before Iris had wrangled Dick into changing his Saturday plans. He’s lost count of how many times he’s apologized for it in the past few days.
As Wally adjusts the knot at the base of his throat, Dick steps out of the en-suite bathroom. How Dick always manages to look so casually flawless is beyond him. He’s not even wearing anything complicated; a nicely fitted button-down in a deep, rich blue patterned with little white birds. Black designer jeans that hug the curve of his thighs. His hair is styled into something fluffy and windswept, and pairing that with the constant cheeky grin on his lips, it makes him look roguishly handsome.
While Wally was busy checking him out, Dick had made his way across the room, and now stands behind him. He hooks his chin over Wally’s shoulder and wraps both arms around his waist.
“Well, hellooo gorgeous.” He says and plants a smiley kiss on Wally’s cheek.
“Me?” Wally scoffs, “Have you looked in the mirror?”
Dick cocks an eyebrow. “How else do you think I got to look this good?”
“I assumed genetics and a solid vanity streak.”
“Point.”
Wally laughs and turns around, reaching behind him to grasp Dick’s wrists and thread them around his neck instead. Dick hums softly, leaning closer. He glances down at the bow tie between his forearms and smiles.
It’s a deep emerald velvet, and Wally had worried over which shirt to go with it until Dick had reached into his closet, picked out a grey one with tiny white polka dots, and threw it at him.
“See, I told you it would look good.” He says, and thumbs gently at the soft fabric of the tie. “This is too nice for you to ruin it with the wrong shirt.”
Wally rolls his eyes at the jab and winds his arms around Dick’s waist, giving him a tight squeeze. “The twins got it for me last year. It’s my favourite one.”
“It matches your eyes.”
“Funny, that’s what Irey said.”
“She’s got good taste.”
“Apparently so.”
“Must’ve gotten it from her mom.”
“Wow, really set myself up for that one, didn’t I?”
Dick throws his head back and laughs. Wally watches him with a soft smile, and when Dick tips his head forward again, he leans in.
It’s a gentle kiss, not meant to lead anywhere. Just a sweet apology and quick forgiveness. Dick inhales deeply through his nose and settles in closer, caressing the side of Wally’s neck so lightly it sends a shiver down his spine.
“DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!”
Aaand the moment’s shattered.
Dick laughs into the kiss, his breath puffing against Wally’s cheek. Wally rolls his eyes. He doesn’t believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, he figures Barry is up there laughing.
“That didn’t take long.” He mutters against Dick’s mouth.
“It’s been twenty minutes, I think that’s today’s record.”
“Should I give them a prize?”
Dick chuckles and shoves against his chest. “Go check on your offspring.”
Wally sighs, planting a smacking kiss on Dick’s forehead before heading towards the door. He yanks it open and sticks his head out into the hallway. “Yes, child of mine?”
Irey stumbles out of Jai’s room, dragging her brother along with her. “Tell him he looks good!”
Wally looks over at his son. Jai, obviously uncomfortable and glaring at Wally like he’s daring him to say something, has his hands shoved into the pockets of his black jeans. While his black button down isn’t tucked into them, thankfully it isn’t wrinkled. The look is a little off-set by the -- also black -- oversized hoodie that Jai always wears. His long bangs are neatly brushed and swept to one side, though they do cover half his face.
All in all, it’s good enough to wear to family dinner and that’s good enough for Wally.
“You look great, kiddo!” He says with a thumbs up. “Snazzy.”
The twins stare at him like he’s grown another head.
“I’m changing.”
“No!” Irey grabs her brother's arm again as he turns on his heel but her efforts are futile. She gets dragged into the room, her sneakers squealing on the hardwood floor. “Don’t listen to him, you look fine!”
“Liar.”
“Stupid.”
“Get out of my room!”
“Oh my god.”
Wally frowns and turns to look at his boyfriend, who’s come to stand beside him in the hallway. “Okay, what did I say?”
“You’re a dork and teenagers are touchy about their looks, it doesn’t take much.” Dick answers with a snort. He folds his sleeves up to the elbows. “Don’t you remember?”
“Not as well as I thought, apparently.”
Suddenly, Irey slides into Jai’s doorway again with an arm outstretched, index finger pointed at Wally. Her yellow dress flares around her knees as she comes to a halt. “You-- you have to fix thi--”
It’s then that she sees Dick, in all his easy, elegant glory, and her eyes narrow.
Her sudden silence is daunting. He shares a wary glance with Wally, who can do nothing but shrug.
“No.” She says finally, and points at Dick instead. “You.”
In half a second, Irey speeds down the hallway and grabs Dick by the wrist, dragging him back towards Jai’s room.
“Irey, what have I said about running in the house?”
Irey pauses and looks over her shoulder at her father. “Only for emergencies?”
Wally crosses his arms. “Uh huh.”
“Dad, this is an emergency! A fashion emergency!”
At this point, Dick looks a bit whiplashed. “Um.”
“Dick, don’t you want to help your boyfriend's poor kids with their disastrous wardrobe choices?”
Now Wally is pointing at Irey. “Hey! No manipulating my boyfriend.”
“All’s fair in love and war!”
Dick puts his free hand up in surrender. “Okay, okay! I’ll help, point me towards the closet.”
“NO!” Jai shouts from within his room. “Don’t come in! I’m not even going anymore!”
“Jai, I swear to god,” Irey starts, shoving her head through the doorway, “if you say one more word about you not being a part of the Flash family anymore I’m gonna kick your little emo butt all the way to Metropolis.”
“Well it’s true...”
“That’s it!”
And with that, Irey tears off back into Jai’s room. A loud shriek, followed by a thump, has Wally zipping past Dick through the doorway to break up the fight Irey will inevitably win. The scene he’s greeted with isn’t surprising: Irey has her brother pinned to the floor by the wrists, dangling a loogie over his face. Which is prompting some ungodly screams from Jai as he tries to pry himself out of her grip.
“Take it back!”
“Irey get off me, you’re disgusting!”
“Say it!” Irey yells back before letting another string of spit hang from her mouth.
“IREY!”
Wally sighs. “Irey, get off your brother.”
“But dad-!”
“Off.”
Irey pouts but loosens her grip. The second she does, Jai shoves her off with a surprising amount of strength. Irey falls to the side with a yelp.
“You’re so gross.” He murmurs, getting to his feet and throwing himself on his bed in a disgruntled heap.
“Jai.”
Jai rolls his eyes at Wally but doesn’t continue.
“Okay,” Wally says, “Irey, go downstairs with Dick and start packing up the car.”
Irey deflates.
Wally jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “Go on, I’ll help Jai.”
Jai’s head snaps up. “But I’m not-”
“We’ll discuss that in a second.” Wally interrupts with a pointed look. Jai’s mouth snaps shut. “For now: Dick, would you mind loading up the car with Irey?”
“Yeah, no problem. C’mon kiddo.” Dick extends his hand to Irey. She takes it begrudgingly as they head out the door. “Tell you what: we get this done fast enough? We can swing around the block to 7-11 for slurpees and candy -- and your dad won’t get any of it.”
“DEAL!”
The two of them thunder down the stairs.
Wally stares after them in bewildered amusement. “I heard that!”
Dick’s voice carries up from below. “We gotta go, Irey -- move, move, move!”
Wally sighs at the sound of Irey zipping back and forth between the kitchen and the garage, his ‘no-running’ rule completely disregarded. At this point it’s more of a guideline than anything. He checks his watch -- they’ve still got half an hour until they need to leave for Central City.
Onto the task at hand, he supposes.
Sitting down at the edge of the bed, Wally nudges Jai’s foot gently. “Hey bud.”
Jai nudges him back. That’s a good sign. They’ve been better at communicating lately, since that afternoon in the park. It’s been a few weeks now, and so far there haven’t been any issues.
“What’s this about you not thinking you’re a part of the Flash family anymore?”
Jai crosses his arms, frowning at the wall opposite him. “Why would I be?”
Wally frowns. “Well. I’m the Flash. And you’re my kid. So it’s kind of inherited.”
“So? I’m not a speedster.”
“So?” Wally cocks an eyebrow. Jai glances at him. “Aunt Iris isn’t a speedster. You planning on breaking the news to her that she’s not part of our family?”
Jai blushes at that and fidgets uncomfortably, fiddling with the edge of his sweater. “That’s different…”
“How?”
“It just is.”
“Solid argument there, kid. You should join the debate team.”
Jai huffs and flops his arms down on the bed in frustration. Wally raises his hands placatingly.
“I mean… I’m not a speedster anymore.” He says. “It’s different to have it and then… not.”
Ah.
“I see.” Wally says quietly.
Jai scoffs. “No you don’t.”
“I’m sorry?”
“You don’t see anything.” Jai mutters, refusing to look at Wally. “You’re The Flash. You have no idea what it’s like.”
Wally will give him that. As heightened as Jai’s response here might be (Wally refuses to call his kids dramatic, especially when they have a right to be), he’s not wrong. Thinking on it, not one person comes to mind – that Wally could reach out to – who would know what Jai is going through. Irey might have saved Jai’s life when she absorbed his powers, but for a speedster to lose their connection to the Speedforce?
Well, Wally’s only ever saved that for the worst of his enemies.
“I can’t speak to that exact experience, no.” This may take some finesse, which Wally doesn’t have a lot of, so he chooses his next words carefully. “But… I did go through something similar, once. Have I ever told you about how I had to stop running, for a while?”
Jai squints, then frowns, still staring at the wall. He shakes his head.
“I was just a couple years older than you, first year of university.” Wally starts, pulling a leg up under him to sit more comfortably. “When I was Kid Flash, I could never keep up with Barry, always leagues behind him. That was frustrating to begin with, so when I started getting chest pain any time I approached a couple hundred klicks, my world tilted.”
The one eye not hidden behind a curtain of dark hair finally glances at him out of curiosity. “Chest pain?”
“I got my powers barely into puberty, so the Speedforce didn’t integrate with my body the way it did with Barry’s. The more I ran, the faster my heart - and eventually my whole body - started deteriorating. I had to stop running altogether.”
“But you still had your speed?”
“I did.” Wally nods. “I could run, and I did on instinct sometimes, but it was always at a cost. It was awful; knowing what it feels like to run, but not being able to anymore.”
Jai stares at the quilt between them, clearly putting the pieces together. “What did you do?”
“Well, nothing, for a while. There was nothing I could do... I stopped reaching out to Barry, to Aunt Iris. I isolated myself out of shame and anger. I felt like a failure – like I wasn’t a Flash anymore.”
Wally watches Jai’s jaw clench, and he rests his hand on his son’s ankle. A wave of relief washes over him when Jai doesn’t pull away, though his fingers dig deeper into the pillow at his side. They sit in silence for a while before Wally speaks again, softly.
“It wasn’t good for me. Being alone made that sadness and shame and hurt all the worse.”
Jai pulls his legs up against his chest, Wally’s hand falling to the duvet, and rests his chin on his knees. “Well you can run now, so what happened?”
“Completely by happenstance, I was brought back into the fray for one last hurrah, and my condition was cured. That’s a whole different story, but–” Jai scoffs, but Wally continues. “But by then… Uncle Barry had died – And I had to step up as the Flash, whether I felt like one or not.”
The silence between them now is deafening.
Wally’s tongue feels like lead in his mouth, but he barrels on while he still has the momentum – as he often does. “I was still stuck with all that shame and hurt. I still wasn’t as fast as Barry, and figuring out why took a long time. My family — both the one I was born with and the one I found – helped me get to where I am now.”
Wally hadn’t expected to be delving into this kind of story with a limited time frame, but here they are. It feels like he’s been telling this story for ages, but now they’re in the thick of it and he’s starting to sound like some kind of preacher. Jai looks a good deal less stubborn than he had before, but Wally knows the weight of the story has settled on him and he doesn’t want to leave things there.
“Look, kiddo.” Wally sighs, pulling his hand back and settling it on his own knee. “I know I sound like Grandpa Jay, but I’m telling you this because… well, I know I didn’t go through what you’re going through. I can’t imagine it. But the point I’m trying to make is that I do know what it’s like to feel disconnected. I get where you’re at, and it’s okay to process that however you need to.”
Jai’s only response is a quiet sniff as he pulls at a loose string on the cuff of his hoodie.
“But the thing about being a Flash is that it’s never been about our speed, and whether or not we have it. It’s about the lengths we go to for each other. Our speed is just a way of getting us there. I know for a fact that you don’t need the Speedforce to go to the ends of the earth for your sister, or your mom, and that makes you a Flash more than anything else.”
Wally stands up, and Jai simply watches him. Reaching out, he pushes Jai’s bangs back, ruffling his hair – a gesture Jai swats at him for, but it’s without anger. A gaze of brilliant green he rarely sees outside of a mirror stares back at him – his own eyes settled firmly in the face of a son who keeps him at arm's length.
It’s almost ironic how familiar they are, and yet how little he knows of what lies behind them these days.
“You don’t have to come today if you really don’t want to.” Wally says with some finality. He’s done preaching. “You’re old enough now to be home alone, and I’ll deal with Irey if that’s what you choose. But the only person in this family who thinks you aren’t a part of it, is you, Jai. Just know that you’re not unwanted there. The door will always be open.”
With one last ruffle, Wally turns to walk out of Jai’s room. “I’m gonna help finish packing the car, and then we’ll head out. Come down when you’ve decided and let me know.”
He leaves the door to Jai’s room open purposefully, taking the stairs down one at a time. Releasing a deep sigh, he lets his shoulders drop. God, he’d been tense. It’s been a long while since Wally had thought about that time in his life. Sure, being with Dick again had made him reflect on his past recently, but not… not that. He spends most of his time actively avoiding it.
Sometimes he can still feel it – the way his body had begun to pull apart at the seams, the way the Speedforce had ripped through him with every step. It was like being unraveled, and even as he thought of it now, it sent a ripple of nausea coursing through him.
He can’t fathom how Jai must feel now. To be completely disconnected from a force he’d been born with, to something he’d always known. Wally had been young when he’d gotten his speed, but he can remember a time in his life when he didn’t have it at all. Jai is going through the opposite, and Wally has no way to reconcile with that.
But god, for that to make Jai feel like he wasn’t a part of their family anymore?
When he gets to the bottom of the stairs, Wally drags both hands down his face and wills away the tears pricking behind his eyes.
From the looks of the empty driveway, Dick and Irey have already gone off to the 7-11. Opening the front door, Wally drops to sit on the top step of the porch. Hopefully the fresh air would help him clear his mind, and if he was lucky, the lump that had settled firmly in his throat.
“Dad..?”
Wally jumps, his thoughts so loud that he hadn’t heard his son approach.
Jai has his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans once again, but he seems to have left his hoodie in his room. The sleeves of his button down pull just above his wrists – clearly he’s out growing it already. He’s not looking at Wally, even now, but at this point that’s to be expected.
“Hey kiddo.”
Chewing on the side of his cheek, Jai seems to battle internally for a moment, when nudges Wally’s side with his foot. It takes him half a second to shuffle over on the step, and Jai joins him. He waits a while, somewhere around a minute, but Jai doesn’t say anything.
“So–”
Before Wally can get the words out, Jai slumps against his arm, the side of his head nestled against the point of Wally’s shoulder.
“I’m coming to family dinner.” Jai says, barely above a whisper.
Wally swallows around the lump in his throat that only insists on growing. “Okay.”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“...Okay.”
Jai turns, bumping his forehead against Wally’s shoulder. “You know, right?”
“Know what, bud?”
Jai knocks his head against Wally’s shoulder again. “....That I love you too.”
Wally takes a breath.
“Not just Irey and mom. You too. That I’d… y’know, do the same for you.”
Oh.
Wally hadn’t even thought about that when he’d said it. He knows Jai would do anything for anyone in their family, that’s just the kind of kid he is, but Wally leaving himself out of the equation didn’t seem unreasonable considering the teetering balance the two of them had found recently. Though it makes sense that Jai would fixate on that.
“I don’t wanna talk about it.”
Wally bites down a smile. He shifts and curls his arm around his son’s shoulders, tucking him against his side. “I know, kiddo.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for. I’m glad you’re coming.”
They stay like that until the car pulls into the driveway again.
Irey jumps out of the backseat with her arms full of twizzlers and gummy worms. When she catches sight of the two of them on the steps, Wally gives her a sharp look before she can start yelling about it as she is wont to do, and her mouth snaps shut. She knows better than to push things when it comes to Jai.
Climbing the steps, she simply holds out a slurpee cup to her brother. “It’s Mountain Dew and bubblegum.”
Jai stares at it and purses his lips. “You get the mini coke bottles?”
“Duh.”
He takes the slurpee, catching the nondescript bag of sugar-coated candy as she tosses it to him, and gets to his feet. “Cool.”
“Nerd.”
“Freak.”
Eerily in unison, they grin at each other and take off towards the car, leaving Wally to rise to his feet by himself.
Dick has already gotten out of the car, and as the twins climb into the backseat with their spoils, he makes his way to the bottom of the steps.
“So, I assume everythings perfectly sorted out?” He says with a wry smile.
Wally snorts, joining him. “Oh yeah, nothing is complicated and everything is very normal and fine.”
“Glad to hear it.” Dick hooks his index finger with Wally’s, always careful about being affectionate in front of the kids. “You okay?”
Wally laces their fingers together and squeezes his hand tight. “Talk about it later?”
“Sure.” Dick tosses the keys in the air between them, and Wally catches them with ease.
Pulling Dick along with him, Wally walks over to the car. “We better get going anyway, Iris is gonna be pissed that we’re late to begin with.”
Dick gives him a weird look. “What do you mean?”
“Iris has a thing about being punctual, which is wild considering who she married–”
“No, babe,” Dick shakes his head. “We’ve got plenty of time, it’s barely been like fifteen minutes since Irey and I left.”
Wally blinks. “What?”
“I don’t know how long you think it’s been, but we’ve got more than enough time to get there.”
He checks his watch. Sure enough, they still have at least ten minutes to spare. It felt like he and Jai had been in that room for ages.
“That’s… weird.”
“What?”
“Just…” Wally frowns. “I could’ve sworn we’d been talking for at least half an hour.”
Dick shrugs. “Maybe you kicked into your speed without noticing?”
“If I did, I wouldn’t have been keeping a conversation with Jai. He can’t do that anymore.”
They both glance through the windshield. The twins are, as to be expected, making a mess of the backseat by throwing candy at each other. Jai looks nothing like he had earlier, perfectly content to make mischief with his sister.
He can feel Dick’s eyes on him. “You don’t think…?”
“I don’t know.” Wally murmurs, “I don’t want to jump to conclusions.”
“Well, no, but–”
“But yeah.” Wally looks at Dick, whose eyes reflect the feeling he’s got in his own gut right now. “I think.”
The drive to Central City is as uneventful as expected, and when Iris opens the door she wraps the twins both in a bone-cracking hug. Before long, both Jai and Irey are swept up into the usual busyness that constitutes a Flash family gathering. To Wally’s complete lack of surprise, Jai is corralled into entertaining Don and Dawn with Bart, and Irey begins following her namesake around like a puppy.
Some things never change.
When Wally pulls out his phone and steps towards the back door, Dick nods at him and runs interference as he knew he would – though when he makes a beeline for Iris, Wally feels a pull of dread in his gut about where exactly that conversation will go. Finding the contact in his phone, Wally waits out the dial tone as he closes the back door behind him, but it’s not long before the line connects and he hears a familiar phrase.
He hopes Jai will forgive him for this, but Wally will never forgive himself if he doesn’t make sure.
“STAR Labs Central, how can I help you?”