Chapter Text
Seungkwan’s hands hovered over Vernon, frantically moving around trying to find an injury. It made no sense as to why Vernon started crying hysterically two seconds after kissing him, it was rude if Seungkwan was being completely honest. He didn’t have time to think about how rude it was as Seungkwan was too busy trying to find out why the boy was crying after kissing him.
There was a small part of Seungkwan that thought it could be because Vernon regretted kissing him. And the longer that Vernon cried without explanation, the longer that small part became a big part. The more he tried to tell Vernon that it was ok, the more he wanted to ask if it was the kiss that was the reason he cried. If that kissing Seungkwan was truly that terrible. Seungkwan knew Vernon was adamant about only ever being with his soulmate, Seungkwan knew that Vernon thought he could love no one but his soulmate. And while Seungkwan thought soulmates were complete, he also knew that soulmates meant the world to Vernon. Seungkwan really liked Chwe Vernon Hansol, he liked him enough that he couldn't put him through the pain of liking him, even if the idiot was the one to kiss him first.
Swungkwan lifted Vernon’s head and looked into the boy’s teary, red-rimmed eyes. “If the reason you’re crying is that you regret the kiss we can pretend it never happened.” Seungkwan’s heart cracked as he spoke. “I know you only even wanted to be with your soulmate, so if kissing me is too-”
Seungkwan was cut off as Vernon’s lips crashed onto his. He revealed the feeling for one moment, before pulling away. “You can’t just keep kissing me and not telling me what's wrong Vernon! Seriously! Your only hurting me if you're going to regret this later and as much as I like you I am not dealing with you breaking things off just because of your weird soulmate guilt!”
“I’m not crying because I feel guilty or because I regret kissing you Seungkwan.” The idiot had the audacity to make it seem like he was the only sane one in this conversation, using a teasing tone like he knew something that Seungkwan was clueless too. “I was crying because I was happy.”
Well if that didn’t make butterflies erupt in Seungkwan’s stomach.
Seungkwan fanned his face hoping to tamper down the heat crawling up his neck. “If that’s not the reason you cried then what is?”
Vernon just smiled at him, “You’re not going to like it.” Seungkwan smacked him upside up the head and gave Vernon a look that showed how annoyed and unimpressed he was with a stupid answer like that. “I didn’t like you crying after you kissed me, this can’t be worse.”
Vernon had no way to confirm that Seungkwan was his soulmate, at least not until they both turned eighteen.
But he just knew it. Vernon knew that Seungkwan was his soulmate like he knew the sky is blue. And as much as he knew Seungkwan would hate him for saying it, he couldn’t hide the fact from the boy.
“You’re my soulmate Seungkwan.” Vernon expected a lot of different reactions to telling Seungkwan the news. He expected Seungkwan to call him an idiot. He expected Seungkwan to hit him. He even expected Seungkwan to curse him out.
Vernon did not expect Seungkwan to laugh. Seingkwan struggled to tell Vernon that “he had gotten him good” through his laughter.
“I’m serious.” Seungkwan stopped laughing. “Didn’t you feel it? The elation when we kissed? I could feel my soulmate, and I knew it was you Seungkwannie.”
“You’re being ridiculous! You felt your soulmate when we kissed and you assumed it was me? Seriously Vernon?” Seungkwan took a step back and looked away from him, “Look I know you wanted to only be with your soulmate, and that you’ve probably had mixed feeling about liking me and only wanting to like your soulmate.” Seungkwan took a deep breath, it sounded painful to Vernon’s ears. “I understand if you regret kissing me, we can pretend like it never happened and that way you can still only ever love your soulmate. But don’t mix your feelings up and try to ease your guilt with ridiculous accusations.” Seungkwan turned to walk away. Vernon couldn’t let that happen though, he couldn’t let Seungkwan walk away. He needed to prove to Seungkwan that they were soulmates.
Vernon grabbed his arm before he walked away, pulling Seungkwan back into the shared space between them. Back into their conversation, it was Vernon’s turn to talk and Seungkwan did have a nasty habit of walking away whenever it was his turn to speak. (Vernon didn’t hate it though, it was one of the quirks that made Seungkwan, Seungkwan. How could he hate anything about the boy?)
“You told all of us that you felt your soulmate when you were five. I felt my soulmate when I was five, you know that. That has to mean something. And then how else can I explain this moment when I felt you again Seungkwan?”
“It’s a coincidence, Vernon! There’s nothing to look into! Coincidences happen all the time! Me and Chan both craved chicken yesterday, are me and him soulmates all of a sudden?!” That made Vernon feel a little silly.
Still, Vernon knew. He knew deep down that he was right. “I could feel you during the kiss Seungkwan. I could feel the excitement. I could feel your butterflies and your happiness. I could feel you feeling things Seungkwan!”
Seungkwan looked at him like he was crazy. “Congratulations Vernon,” Seungkwan grabbed his face and looked him dead in the eyes, “You know what it feels like to be kissed by your crush! Besides what you felt was probably a coincidence. Your soulmate probably got some good news or something.”
All the things Seungkwan was saying made sense. “Okay. You make a valid point.” Vernon knew he wouldn’t prove anything to Seungkwan today, but still, Vernon knew deep down that he was right, he would just have to wait two more years to prove it. “But that won’t stop me from knowing the truth.”
Seungkwan just rolled his eyes and walked away with a laugh.
Seungkwan was conflicted, to say the least. Vernon knew that he didn’t want to ever meet his soulmate. Vernon knew and still decided to throw all of his own soulmate insecurities right in Seungkwan’s face.
But.
But at the same time, Seungkwan knew that Vernon probably had gone on a roller coaster with his emotions. Seungkwan knew that Vernon had never had a crush before. Seungkwan was probably the first time Vernon liked someone and it must have confused the poor boy to no end.
So while Seungkwan was peeved after the kiss, he understood.
But now. Now it’s been a month and it's Vernon’s sixteenth birthday, and Seungkwan wants to punch the idiotic boy. Apparently, Vernon never learned that if you tell people your birthday wish it’ll never come true, because when Chan asked Vernon what he wished for, Vernon just turned to Seungkwwan with a big, stupid, grin on his face and with, what Seungkwan considered the proudest loudest voice ever, proclaimed “That my soulmate finally recognizes me!”
Most of the members knew that Vernon and Seungkwan had soul bonds that were yet to be discovered. Some of the other members also had soulmates, including something going on with soulmates and the three eldest members who Seungkwan had a sneaky suspicion were hiding something from all of them. All the members knew about Vernon’s love for his yet-to-be-met soulmate, and Seungkwan’s disdain for them.
All of the members also knew how soulmates worked. Which means they all knew Hansol Vernon Chwe was too young to know who his soulmate is and therefore too young for his soulmate to recognize. So when they all questioned his weird wish Vernon, the idiotic, yet somehow still poor in Seungkwans subconscious (stupid sympathy), boy decided to tell all the members everything that went down on Seungkwan’s birthday a month prior.
Seungkwan could smack the boy.
He would’ve too if it wasn’t his birthday.
The members, reasonably, freaked out. Seungkwan had to explain to them that while Vernon believed they were soulmates, there was no way that it was true and that he was probably just projecting. Vernon just smiled at him and said that “He would prove Seungkwan wrong.”
Over the next few months, the drama about Seungkwan and Vernon’s kiss fizzled down. But Vernon saw the members take sides.
He was happy to say that most of the members took his side, all of them claimed that “Seungkwan and Vernon just worked.”
Those words always made Vernon’s heart flutter just a bit harder
Surprisingly, it was the three oldest members who stood adamantly by Seungkwan. It was especially surprising because Jeonghan and Joshua had soulmates. They both apparently had yet to meet their soulmates and although the both of them don’t like talking about soulmates often, Vernon remembers them talking about how excited they were to be with their soulmates. Seungcheol seemed to just join Seugkwan’s side because Jeonghan and Joshua did, although there was always this pleased look he had on his face every time the two spoke in Seungkwan’s anti-soulmate agenda, always claiming that “not all love is between soulmates.” Vernon agreed with them and was confused about what that had to do with whether or not Seungkwan and he were soulmates, but he thinks that they might have joined Seungkwan for reasons that had nothing to do with Seungkwan or Vernon.
For the most part, though, the members stayed out of it. Not really caring about what was happening, as long as it didn’t cause problems they were ok.
Over the next few months, Vernon continued to flirt with Seungkwan. Sometimes it was subtle, like winking at Seungkwan from across the room. Other times it was not so subtle, like when he gives Seungkwan forehead kisses while they all train in the green room of hell. And no matter how he decided to flirt with Seungkwan, he always tries to teasingly ask if Seungkwan likes his soulmate flirting with him. He could tell Seungkwan didn’t like that question, it usually ended with him lightly smacking Vernon where he could reach, but it never stopped Vernon.
There were a few times when Vernon flirted that he wouldn’t ask. Because when they are alone, just the two of them sharing a space with no one else and no cameras to capture, Vernon flirts with Seungkwan by kissing him on the lips. And while those times are rare and far in between, with having to prepare for their debut and everything, those moments leave Vernon just as speechless as Seungkwan.
It leaves him silently praying that he is right about the whole situation, otherwise, it might just crush him.
Vernon continues to flirt with Seungkwan like this until they debut. Slowly they start to gain popularity, and Vernon and the rest of his members throw themselves into their work. They work until they're ready to drop at the end of every day, but it’s worth it for their dreams. None of the members remember his and Seungkwan’s argument. He barely remembers it, some days he’s too tired to flirt, and other days he knows Seungkwan’s too tired to deal with it. But still, sometimes when he has a free second between their schedules Vernon sends a reminder text to Seungkwan, who only rolls his eyes in response.
Seungkwan turns eighteen eight months after his debut. Seungkwan doesn’t believe in soulmates. He doesn’t.
But he still stays up until the stroke of midnight to see if he can connect with his.
“Well?” Vernon sat with him, watching the seconds tick down to the stroke of midnight. Was the first to wish Seungkwan a happy birthday. And sat with him as Seungkwan felt into the universe.
Seungkwan closed his eyes as he tried to see if he could hear someone else's thoughts, or feel someone else’s emotions.
“There’s nothing.” And when Seungkwan opened his eyes, Vernon was smiling ear to ear like a fool.
“So, your soulmate’s younger then?”
“Don’t get too excited, it still doesn’t mean it's you.” If Seungkwan was being honest he thinks Vernon has been getting to him, because he’s been starting to believe those words less and less these past couple of months.
Vernon just smirked and shook his head as he got up to go back to his own bed. “Keep telling yourself that Boo.”
Seungkwan couldn’t be there for Vernon’s countdown. Mostly because the boy decided to stay in the studio and help Jihoon. But Seungkwan watched the clock tick down the seconds from his bed. And at twelve o’clock on Vernon’s birthday.
Seungkwan felt nothing.
Usually, Seungkwan liked being right, but this time he just felt sad and disappointed.
He should feel relieved. Seungkwan didn’t want to be soulmates with Vernon. In fact, Seungkwan didn’t even want a soulmate for most of his life.
But still, a part of Seungkwan did want this. Seungkwan really wanted to be with Vernon, and he couldn’t help the disappointment that swelled in his chest as he was proven right.
Seungkwan felt the tears roll down as the disappointment couldn’t be contained. He wiped furiously at his face. This is what he wanted, he doesn’t get to be sad.
There was a knock at his door, he heard Vernon’s voice asking to come in. Seungkwan wiped his cheeks once more before allowing Vernon to enter.
Seungkwan watched as Vernon walked in. He was expecting the boy to be in a similar situation, tear tracks running down his face and disappointment evident on his face. Instead, he was faced with a Vernon who had a beaming smile and he watched as Vernon looked Seungkwan dead in the eye and asked if he liked being wrong.
Without moving his lips.
Vernon was eighteen when he finally confirmed his soulmate was Boo Seungkwan. He could feel Seungkwan’s sadness and disappointment as clear as day, he could hear the boy cry in his head when he thought Vernon wasn’t his soulmate.
Vernon took a moment to take it in. To finally be able to feel Seungkwan felt like a dream to Vernon. And even though he could only feel sadness, Vernon never felt more elated in his life.
Finally going to relieve Seungkwan of his doubts felt even better.
But nothing beat the feeling of Seungkwan kissing him when he realized that if he just looked past his own feelings, he could feel Vernon back, he could hear Vernon back.
Vernon was eighteen when he cried for the second time because of his soulmate.
Luckily this time it was happy tears.