Chapter Text
it wasn’t your intention to stay behind wayyy past the ringing of the morning bell—it just…kinda happened.
you didn’t want to go to class… to face the same annoying group of girls who found pleasure in making remarks and comments about you every time they saw you.
it was your last year of fucking high school and yet they’re were still people who needed to belittle others to build themselves up. the entire idea of it was gross to you.
looking into the eyes of the reflected girl in the mirror it was hard to ignore just how tired, burnt out, and beat down you looked. the disgust you had only increasing as your eyes moved down to the recently bloomed bruises on your neck, a parting “gift” left behind by your father from the night before as he left you to fend for yourself before taking his precious younger fiancé out to town.
taking one last sigh and a glance at yourself in the mirror, you left the bathroom and took what felt like the millionth walk of shame to the classroom.
*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*
you opened the sliding door to the room swiftly and as quietly as possible in an attempt to go unnoticed. the attempt ruined by the loud and childish voice of your teacher.
“look what the wind blew in! y/ln-san how nice of you to join us today!”
you’d think you’d be used to your teacher’s attempts at humor and behavior as it was three weeks into the school year but alas you weren’t. (you couldn’t help but think maybe if you just showed up to class you would of been accustomed to him by now)
passing him your late note and doing your absolute best to ignore the nosey eyes of a few students taking in your appearance you rushed to the back of the classroom to take your seat.
the class wasn’t anything special.
the 20 minutes you missed due to your reflection stare down in the bathroom was ultimately most of the lesson. so you opted to finish up some homework for a class scheduled for later. you were able to get a good amount of work done and you felt somewhat proud of yourself as you filled in the last answer on one of the assignments.
it wasn’t until you saw the shadow looming over you as you began to pack away your things into your relatively small backpack.
”y/ln-san would you mind staying back after the bell? i’d like to talk to you about something.” the white haired teacher whispered lowly enough for only the two of you to hear.
”sure?” you responded back, voice laced with uneasiness.
staying back to speak with a teacher is never on the top of any student’s list.
a solo conversation could be either good or bad and suddenly you found yourself running through all the few interactions you’ve had with mr. satoru since being in school.
you packed up the rest of your materials waiting impatiently for the bell to ring so you could get the conversation over with asap, and when the time finally came you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed as everyone else was clearing out the room heading to their next class while you stayed behind—a few girls even shooting you dirty looks as you of all people were staying back with the man many of them often gushed about to each other. it was hard to ignore their looks, just making you feel more smaller than you already did.
when it was just the two of you left behind, the normally unserious teacher closed the sliding door slightly to give you both more privacy to chat. he walked over to where you were sitting and plopped down onto the desk to the right of you facing his back to the classroom so he could have a better look at you.
he smiled a gentle smile at you before clearing his throat to speak.
”y/ln-san, i just wanted to check in and see if things were alright with you.”
with just the first sentence you knew where the conversation was heading and part of you just wanted to shut out the rest of it. this wasn’t the first time teachers had tried to get a deeper peek at who you were.
the absences, heavy clothing in the summer months, and excessive tardiness just didn’t add up and there was always speculation—but with you being in your shell and always to yourself it was hard to garner up anything to back up their claims.
your lips dropped into a frown as he continued on. “i just care about the well-beings of each and every one of my students especially as you’re all seniors about to embark into the adult world. i can’t help but to pay attention to how many tardy’s and absences you have… just don’t hesitate to talk to me if you need to.”
his tone was laced with sincerity which only pulled at your heart strings seeing how genuine he sounded, if you hadn’t been down this road many many many times before perhaps you would of opened up to him.
your thoughts were shaken as quickly as they had came when you felt the touch of his hand on your shoulder, causing you to flinch.
before he could register what had happened you stood up causing the desk chair to make a loud screeching sound against the linoleum floor.
”sorryivegottago.”
in one whole breath you spoke, bowing as you made your exit out of the suddenly stuffy classroom.
gojo’ lips formed into a straight line, his normally pale face tainted red of embarrassment as he replayed the interaction in his head. it wasn’t his intention to make you run away, he just wanted to reach out and let you know it was okay to open up if it could ultimately help you.
he felt like a defeated child as he pushed your now empty chair back in to the desk and walked back to his own desk to prepare for his next class.
*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*
you weren’t exactly sure where your legs were taking you as you exited the classroom. all you knew was that you wanted to get away and get some fresh air. it didn’t hit you until you felt the breeze hitting your face when you realized your legs had carried you to the top of the schools roof, high enough that you it made you feel as if you were on top of the world, a stark contrast to what you were really feeling.
placing your bag on the ground, you sat down to breathe for awhile— your bag becoming a makeshift pillow for your head that was swirling with never ending thoughts. it wasn’t long until you found yourself in a battle between fighting the urge to sleep and staying a wake… the latter choice would lose and it would be the hustle and bustle of the world below covering you like a blanket and putting you to sleep.
when you awoke to the feeling of your grumbling stomach you couldn’t help but sit up groggily and groan. it took a few minutes for you to take in your surroundings and realize that you fell asleep…on the roof of the school of all places.
frantically you pulled your phone out of your pocket to check the time.
your inner monologue swarmed with expletives cursing yourself for just how long you ended up being on the roof. school was already out, after school activities being the only thing going on in the building…great no food.
grabbing your bag you took the trek to the front of the school and back onto the main road towards your house. to buy yourself time you decided to stop at a convince store for something to munch on.
you opened the door to see a plethora of choices to choose from. you walked down the aisle to find your f/d and picked up onigiri and made your way to checkout. when you looked up you couldn’t help but flinch from becoming face to face with an eccentric looking boy who was leaning over the counter trying to get a better look at you.
“hey! you’re in satoru-san’s class aren’t you?.” the boy with the split dyed hair asked. pointing at you as if there were multiple patrons in the store.
you slowly shook your head in agreement as you placed your two little items on the counter.
“i told you that was her toge! she’s the one who’s always late or doesn’t show at all!” he yelled, his hands on the counter shaking the items you had placed down.
his friend which you now knew as toge only shot him a not so playful glare at his mention of your absences.
“yeah… that’s me.” you said awkwardly trying to ignore the way the two boys in front of you were having a silent conversation using nothing but their facial expressions.
the louder boys friend looked annoyed and you couldn’t really place a reasoning for it.
the louder boy rang up your items as you stood, focusing your attention to your feet. when the louder boy was finished ringing up your two items he smiled at you and introduced himself.
“i go by panda by the way!” pointing to his hair as if the reasoning behind his name wasn’t obvious.
“and the boy who’s currently burning holes into the side of my head is my best friend inumaki toge.”
you couldn’t help but fake cough to help stifle a small chuckle from escaping your lips as inumaki’s facial expression changed to a look of bewilderment, which made panda belly laugh.
you grabbed the small bag and walked backwards, pointing to door awkwardly as you looked at them both and waved off as you exited the shop to make the tread to your house.
opening the decent sized rice ball in your hand you placed the wrapping back into the bag and began to chew slowly and nervously, your feeling of hunger almost wearing down completely the closer you got to your house. your stomach churning in anticipation of not knowing what mood the adults inside would be in.
you opened the door and took your shoes off, surveying the area around you. it was eerily quiet and nothing could be heard besides the hushed voices of the news anchors on the tv in the living room.
all you had to do was make it up the creaky stairs and to your room to retire to for the rest of the evening and do it all over again tomorrow.when you thought you were finally in the clear that’s when you heard the familiar footsteps that belonged to your father approaching behind you.
so close yet so far.
“what took you so long getting home?” your father asked glaring down at you. his tall figure casting a shadow on your door as you went to open it.
“don’t worry about it…we both know you don’t actually care where i go” you mumbled under your breath.
grabbing your wrist and turning you around to face him, he grabbed a string of your hoodie causing it to close around your neck, slowly cutting your circulation.
he glared daggers at you as he held tightly to the string. his eyes searching for the smallest inkling of fear in yours, but the longer he stared the more unraveled he became—wanting to see fear in your eyes as you backed down to him but the moment never came. he sucked his teeth at you before opening your bedroom door (you were still pressed up against). his action causing you to fall backwards and onto your bedroom floor.
”try to stand up for yourself now.” he barked before walking away and leaving you a coughing mess on the floor.
after getting yourself together you immediately went to wash your neck, wanting to wash away just how pathetic and awful he made you feel just being inches in front of him … his presence was enough to make you feel pathetic already.
as you stared in the mirror you couldn’t ignore the indentions and slight sting your hoodie string left in the wake of the stunt your father had pulled just a few minutes before. all you could do was shake your head at yourself as you turned the light off and headed back to your room to succumb to your feelings for the rest of the what felt like to you the never ending night.