Chapter Text
Sara now realized thinking she wouldn’t be bothered by Signora ever again was foolish. Sara knew she wasn’t the brightest, she had been told that most of her life, despite her high marks, so she had grown to accept it.
Yet, she wanted to feel the slightest bit of security knowing Signora would move on. But, unlike what Signora had said in the final time Sara had been in their apartment, Sara felt she wasn’t as inconsequential to Signora’s life as she let on. Sara felt that Signora was always there, watching her, waiting for her.
Sara could almost feel the ghost of her ex’s hands gripping her wrists tightly whenever she got visibly anxious. Not in the comforting manner that Miko or Ei would do whenever she messed up, expecting to be punished, but hard. The very way that had made Sara scared to mess up in the first place.
Sara knew she wouldn’t instantly be out of the woods once she broke things off with Signora, but she never expected it to this level. She still woke up in a cold sweat some nights, out of breath, causing either Ei, Miko, or both to have to calm her down enough to have her go back to sleep, the duo easily hearing her through the paper thin walls of the apartment.
It was March now. The chill in the air was still present, yet the melting remnants of snow truly showed the new season, the new year, and the new Sara. Sara would like to say she had moved on from the hockey player, but she’d be wrong.
As sick and twisted it felt, while being scared of her enough to not want to associate with her again, she felt deep down she missed her. Even though she remembered how horrible the blonde was, she couldn’t help but remember the times which made it so hard for her to leave her. The moments that made her fall head over heels for the tall, charming, hockey player.
She hated thinking about it, but her mind drifted off to the happy moments. Like when Signora made her chicken noodle soup and cuddled her when Sara had caught a fever, or when she helped Sara calm down from a nightmare. But then, Sara would always remember the moments that followed those memories, soiling them. Like how Signora had screamed and yelled at Sara for giving her a fever after they cuddled, causing Signora to miss a hockey game. Or after the nightmare, Signora had been pissed off in the morning, complaining about how Sara had ruined her goodnight’s sleep.
Sara frowned at the memory, walking along the sidewalk. Her physical therapist had recommended that she take daily walks in order to put enough insurance on her hurt leg to be able to walk somewhat normal once the cast was off. Sara had scoffed at the thought, but resting for most of the day after these walks had been doing wonders, that or the pain medication they gave her for her leg, which had been slowly but surely healing as of now.
She walked along past the campus, looking up at the sky to see the sky was getting dark. A small chill rose up Sara’s spine from the cool, early spring air. She sighed, going to sit on a park bench. While the apartment she now shared with Miko and Ei was close to the University, it was not within a reasonable walking distance, especially at night.
She picked up her phone, clicking on one of her contacts. It rang twice, before the sound of a click, showing the person had picked up.
“Sara? What’s up?”
“Hey Miko, I was wondering if you or Ei could take the car to pick me up?”
“Yeah sure, can you wait like 20 minutes, I’m baking and I cannot trust Ei to watch it, so we’ll both come when we’re done, where are you?”
“On a bench on the East Side of the University, just try to make haste, alright?”
“Sure, we’ll be as fast as be can, after the cake though,”
“Alright then, see you soon, love you, bye,”
“Love you too, bye Sara,”
Then, there was another click, signifying the call had ended. Sara sighed, reclining back on the bench to crack her back against its stiff surface. She groaned, looking down at her phone, which could have been the cure to her boredom, if only it hadn’t died moments after the call had ended. How convenient, one would think this was a scene straight out of a horror slasher, where just any moment the monster would sneak up on and kill the innocent, defenseless girl.
However, even Sara knew that not all monsters were visible to the naked eye.
Sara felt the presence of someone next to her, before she could think, the coldest, yet warmest hand wrapped around the back of Sara’s neck, digging sharp nails into it as Sara gasped, now flailing at the surprise contact, yet the perpetrators other arm wrapped around her body, holding her stiffly in place as Sara desperately tried to pull away.
“Don’t fucking move,” the voice said, the sing-song tone of voice causing Sara to immediately recognize it.
“L-let go La Signora, I broke up with you. I thought y-you said you didn’t care!?” Sara yelped out wheezing, desperately trying to break free of the taller girl’s grasp.
Sara felt white, hot pain on her neck, whilst a warm substance now on it barely did much to soothe the uncomfortable feeling as Sara tried to weasel away. Signora’s nails were pushing into her, hard enough to bleed.
Sara, while externally and internally panicking, heard a small, quiet voice in the back of her head groan in annoyance at the prospect of new marks, seeing as it took a while for all these bruises Signora left last time to go away.
Sara flailed her legs, ignoring the numbing pain in it as she tried to break away, but Signora’s grip hardened around her like a statue.
“Stop squirming. You are going to force my hand, and make me have to hurt you more,” Signora sighed sadistically, as if she hated the idea of hurting Sara in any way.
“Now, if you scream, I’ll make this harder for both of us. Besides, nobody would hear you anyway because nobody is here, so in the end I’ll be hurting you more for literally no reason, on your end at least,” Signora states, tightening her grasp around Sara’s neck.
Sara whimpers, momentarily ceasing her struggling, the only part of her body still moving was her shaking in fear. She sniffles, trying desperately to stop the tears from flowing.
“Goodness, my dear, you make yourself so easy to find alone. For someone so traumatized, you’d think you’d be more careful. Even a dumbass like Dottore could find you, of course, the coffee incident he found you, but jogging by yourself? For someone with such good marks, you are quite stupid Sara. No wonder you’re so social stunted,” Signora laughed.
Sara squirmed, thoughts racing through her head. All this time, whenever Signora had found out she had been doing something she wasn’t supposed to do, it had most likely been this ‘Dottore’ guy who told her. Sara felt sick. Dottore could literally be anyone.
“W-what do you even want? Why are you here?” Sara told her, a sob growing in her voice.
“I always found you interesting. Much more interesting than the girls I’ve been with lately. Suffice to say, I was wrong about you,” Signora told her, tightening her grip on Sara, beginning to kiss the younger girl’s neck.
Sara gasped, trying to squirm away.
“No- Signora. Please go away, I don’t want to,” Sara mumbled, sniffling as tears gathered in her eyes.
“Come on, you know you want me back,” Signora whispered, leaning over Sara until Sara was lying under her weight on the bench.
“I don’t- please get off,” Sara whined, trying to push the girl off, only to let out a pained yowl as Signora shifted her weight onto her healing leg, enveloping the limb in white, hot pain that made spots envelop Sara’s vision for a moment.
Sara closed her eyes tight, wanting desperately to be anywhere but here. She vividly heard Signora whispering sweet nothings into her ear, despite herself. She could smell the alcohol even more so in her breath. Sara knew normally Signora would be more careful when doing this in public, yet she didn’t have time to suspect what Signora must have been thinking.
Suddenly, however, it was all gone. In the distance whilst she was in the depths of her own mind, attempting to ignore what was being done to her, she heard a yelp, and somewhat felt the weight no longer be on her.
Someone was shaking her, touching her face. Warm hands on her face made her want to lean into their grasp, but she subconsciously flinched away. They were shaking her, pulling her to sit up, she realized.
“-ra!”
“-ara! You with me?”
“ Sara !”
Sara flinched, immediately letting out a panicked yelping, trying to squirm away from whoever was touching her face. However, unlike Signora, the hands immediately retracted, giving her the space she needed.
Sara slowly gained her bearings, glancing around frantically. Her eyes landed on a duo of shadows moving a couple feet away, and a bright pink figure in front of her.
“Miko..?” Sara sobbed, wiping her eyes, her vision still blurry.
She attempted to stand up, but was gently pushed back down.
“Shh, shh, hey, hey,” Miko said quickly and comfortingly, a soothing, motherly tone enveloping her voice.
Sara whimpered, sniffling. Despite now being touch sensitive, she tried to lean into Miko’s touch.
“It’s okay, you’re okay, you don’t need to touch me if you don’t want to,” Miko told her, whispering more sweet nothings into her ear, however, these were unlike the ones Signora did.
They were genuine. Made Sara feel comforted.
Sara sobbed once more, now feeling ready enough to leap into Miko’s arms, pressing her face into the pink haired hockey player’s shoulder. Miko wrapped her warm arms, allowing Sara to cry into her shoulder, and shielding Sara from what was happening just a few feet away from the bench.
That, being Ei Raiden beating the everloving shit out of La Signora. As much as Sara disliked the amount of ‘white knighting’ that had been happening on her behalf lately, she was not in the position to complain. She tried to ignore Signora’s pained cries echoing through her ears, pressing her face much more into Miko’s chest.
God, oh how she hated this. Sara wasn’t used to this, constantly needing to be saved. She was used to fending for herself. If something bad happened to her, she’d been able to figure it out herself in the past 19 years of her life, so why couldn’t she now? She vaguely felt another hand on her back.
Ei’s hand, she now realizes.
Sara knew the moment she left her room, she was about to be bombarded with questions from her two “roommates,” or at least that’s what they told people. But, the title of the ambiguous relationship Sara had with these two women was besides the point, seeing the matter at hand.
When they had gotten back, Sara had somewhat stopped crying at that point, a new record or the longest cry Sara had had, judging by the fact most times when she was crying, she could quite easily compose herself whenever someone drew near. They allowed her to shower, while they created a quick meal, somehow not burning down the kitchen, before sending Sara to bed, allowing her to have time to rest before they talked about the events of that day in the morning.
Of course, now, standing in front of her as she walks into the living room, still half asleep and in her pajamas, were Ei and Miko, looking ever so serious sitting up straight on the couch, staring at Sara. Sara would laugh at the foreign expressions of seriousness on the two girl’s faces if she didn’t know what they were so serious about. She groaned, sitting down on the couch across from them.
“Gosh- this is starting to feel like a therapist’s office,” Sara weakly tries to joke, but realizes it is not the time.
Sara normally tries to be the one who doesn’t make the shitty jokes, but judging by her expression, it seemed Miko wasn’t going to make one either. Sara now realized how awkward it was when not even one of them was joking.
“Sara, we need to know what you want to do about Signora, because this is getting out of hand,” Ei sighed, fidgeting with her hands slightly.
“I think you beating the shit out of her was enough,” Sara replied, shifting uncomfortably at the memory.
“Sara, she tried to-” Miko started, but was cut off by Sara.
“I know! I know what she tried to do, alright? I don’t want to think about it. She most likely won’t come back, because I know for a fact deep down Signora is a coward and only takes advantage of those she knows for a fact are weaker than her,” Sara spits out suddenly, before freezing.
“I apologize for my outburst, I just- I really don’t want to think about last night,” Sara sighed solemnly, looking up to see Miko and Ei’s eyes soften.
Sara blinks, only to be enveloped by a hug from both Ei and Miko at the same time. The warmth envelops her like a strike of thunder. Her arms awkwardly jut out, not knowing where to go, before one gently lands on Miko's back, before the other finds its way to Ei’s back.
“I’m not used to this,” Sara murmurs, attempting to wipe her eye with her shoulder.
“What do you mean?” Ei asks, slowly pulling away.
Miko, however, does not pull away, still clinging to Sara. Ei groans, yanking the hockey player back by her hood.
“Don’t harass her, give her space,” Ei tells Miko, eliciting a raspberry from the other girl.
“I’m not used to depending on people very much. That, and or being vulnerable. It’s a peculiar feeling, one I haven’t ever felt until these past few months. I don’t like that you two have to sort out my mess with Signora. It’s unfair that you guys are the ones that have to deal with me being a coward,” Sara sighed, trying to ignore the concerned glances from both Ei and Miko.
There was a moment of awkward silence, before Miko spoke up.
“Geez girl, if you needed a therapist, you could have just said so,” she chuckled, eliciting an elbow to the side from Ei.
“I, in fact, do not need a therapist, and I am completely fine mentally!” Sara stammered, turning her nose up at the thought.
She looked back at the two, to see both girls giving her disbelieving glances. She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck.
“Sara, there is nothing wrong with having a therapist, you realize that, right?” Ei asked, causing Sara to nod anxiously.
“I did have a therapist at one point, around highschool. It was required that the sports teams had one of the coaches do that for ‘mental health’ or whatever. The one they hired, however, was buddy-buddy with my father, so to speak,” Sara sighed.
“What’s wrong with them being friends with your father?” Miko asked, raising a brow.
“I uh- said things in those sessions that didn’t reflect very… well on my family. That man was very loyal to my father, so he told him the things I said in our private session. My father wasn't pleased. He forced me to go in and tell the therapist all the things I said were fake. He obviously knew they weren’t fake, but he put them on the record of me lying, in order to protect my father,” Sara sighed.
She looked up to see Ei and Miko, wearing identical worried expressions.
“I know the probability of the therapist I was to maybe get now telling my father who currently lives across the country is very slim, but I really can’t help but be anxious about it,” Sara sighed.
“I just, he was so angry. That’s why he- nevermind,” Sara sighed, trying desperately to ignore the understanding gazes blazing into her face.
“But even besides that, I don’t need therapy. I am perfectly mentally fine,” Sara told them.
“You were in an abusive relationship, Sara. It’s okay to not be okay,” she distantly heard Ei said, an understanding smile not only on her face, but in her voice.
Sara hadn’t really heard many people say it out loud to her before. Usually Ei and Miko avoided that word like the plague, but hearing them refer to her situation as that for the first time since last night made her feel sick to her stomach.
“She wasn’t the girl you thought she was, or thought you remembered from high school. That’s just how she is,” Miko mumbled.
Sara sighed, knowing she was right. She barely knew Signora in high school. Sara, despite being the hockey team captain and the coach's kid, was never popular due to her awkward and frankly introverted and insecure demeanor. Signora, on the other hand, from what Sara could remember, was insanely confident and popular, so popular she barely talked to Sara.
She did remember catching glances as her silky blond hair in the hallway, the way it would cascade down her mid back like a waterfall made it hard to miss.
Why must Sara still think about her?
Sara sighed from instead the scorekeeping box, propping her head up with her arm as her elbow leaned on the cold desk, causing her to shiver slightly.
She enjoyed scorekeeping. It was a good way to pick up some extra cash, not to mention how she was basically being paid to watch her roommates- girlfriends- accomplaces(?) play hockey. They were up against the Shneznaya Harbingers, yet Signora was nowhere to be seen. Not even on the bench, which Sara took as a win. She had heard gossip about Signora quitting hockey a few months ago, and going to study abroad for “unknown reasons,” but Sara never got a confirmation, and frankly, didn’t want to snoop and find out otherwise.
Sara groaned, pressing the buttons to mark a goal for the opposing team. Miko and Ei’s team were tied with the other team in the third period with 2 minutes left. In summary, it wasn’t looking too good for them. Sara, contrary to what she was supposed to be as a scorekeeper, was pretty biased when it came to what teams won. It wasn’t like she would mess with the score or something, she just enjoyed rooting for one of the teams. It kept her entertained.
She didn’t really need to take notes due to their being judges due to this being a playoff game, yet Sara decided to anyway. She liked to make it a habit so she wasn’t surprised on the off chance she did have to fill out a scoresheet for her games.
Sara blushed slightly as both Ei and Miko raced past the scorer box in chase of the puck, both’s faces tight with focus. Sara watched their skates glide, their amazing footwork when slipping around one of the members of the opposing team, and slipping the puck into their own grasp with their hockey stick.
“Amazing,” Sara murmured in awe, the blush on her face becoming so though she swore she could see steam blur the glass on the scorer box.
She hears the resounding blare of the whistle as Ei scores a goal on the opposing team, gaining an assist from Miko due to her sly pass to her counterpart.
Sara jots it down, ignoring the extravaganza on the ice from Ei and Miko’s team. She lets out a warm smile as both Ei and Miko look at her proudly.
Sara knew that what she was doing wasn’t good for her. She knew she was subconsciously living through them. She knew damn well she wouldn’t feel what they were feeling right now ever again. She would never feel the thrill of the blistering cold against her face, feuding with the sweat that would also reside there. The cheers and congratulations she’d receive from Kuki and Signora. Sara blinked, unease settling in her gut at the thought of her highschool acquaintance, former friend, and former girlfriend.
Former abuser.
Why must she let that wretched woman always fill her thoughts? Even in moments of happiness and pride, the woman still found a way to make herself known through Sara’s memory. Sara sighed, listening to the sound of the blaring buzzer, signifying the game’s end.
Sara blinked, smiling slightly as she noticed Miko and Ei not skating to the locker room entrance, but to the doors to the penalty box.
“Don’t you guys have to change your clothes?” Sara asked, eliciting a chuckle from Miko.
“Of course we do, but that can wait, we want to talk to you,” Miko told her.
Sara smiled, but tilted her head in confusion.
“I assume you, while I did watch the game, there is no feedback of substance I can give you,” Sara told them.
“Not about the game, we just like talking with you,” Ei told her, causing Sara to raise a brow skeptically, but agreed nonetheless.
“Are you cold?” Ei asked.
“Little bit. I am quite used to the cold, but it’s harder to adjust when I am not moving to keep my blood flowing,” Sara admitted, ignoring the shiver that rose through her body as if it were an elevator.
Sara sighed, puffing her red cheeks out, before getting up.
“I have to go about now, I have an archery match,” Sara told them.
“I didn’t know you had a match today,” Ei said, raising a brow in surprise.
“Me neither,” Miko added.
Truth be told, Sara didn’t tell many people about her archery skill. She didn’t really count it as a real sport, mostly due to the fact it made her exert very little energy. However, it was a good way for her to test her patience and strength. She was fairly good, although that is just what her teammate Yoimiya told her every single practice. While Sara, insecure as she is, appreciates the sentiment, she felt saying it nearly everyday was redundant.
“I didn’t think the knowledge of it happening would benefit either of you. My apologies,” Sara sighed, still packing up her things, and lifting her archery bag from the floor next to her chair.
The bag was black and tattered old thing, small tears lined the ruffled fabric, accompanied by a dirt or grass stain every once and a while. Sara used to use it for all her sports to carry her equipment, but now it’s only use would be archery.
“Sara, you come to our games, it’s only fair if we come to your,” Miko chuckled, putting an arm on the taller girl’s shoulder, that girl being Sara.
“I suppose that is an accurate statement. But you two need to be quiet whilst there. I need to concentrate,” she tells them, causing both Miko and Ei to nod vigorously.
Sara lifted her bow shakily. She felt a warm hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump slightly. She turned to see Yoimiya, a warm smile gracing her face. Every part of Yoimiya was warm. Her smile, her touch, her eyes, everything. Sara blinked, raising a brow at Yoimiya’s intention of the contact, which was currently unknown to her.
“Good luck, you’re gonna do great,” the bubbly blond told her, her smile somehow widening.
Sara rolled her shoulder to avoid the contact. Yoimiya’s smile didn’t falter, not once. However, whilst looking at it, Sara noticed a small crumb atop her pink lips.
“Thanks. Erm- you have chocolate on your face,” Sara pointed out, eliciting a loud, surprised laugh from the other as she wiped it off with her finger, before putting it back into her mouth.
“You’re so brutally honest. Thanks, I couldn’t even imagine how I’d feel if you never told me and Ayaka or Lumine pointed it out!” Yoimiya giggled, blushing in embarrassment at the hypothetical situation involving her crushes.
“It’s no issue,” Sara told her earnestly, surveying the other people at the match.
They were going up against the University of Liyue’s Qixing. The team was one of the best in Tevyat, so safe to say, Sara was fairly nervous. The team was fairly mediocre, all except for two. Ganyu Qilin & Yelan Orchid. They, in polite terms, carried the entire team on their backs. Yelan and Ganyu were both talking to people in the stands, presumably people who came to watch from their university.
The girl Ganyu was talking to only seemed slightly taller, if not the same height. Her hair was purple, and done up in some style that made two buns of hair protrude from the top of her head, akin to cat ears or horns. Yelan, the taller of the two, was talking to someone the same height of her, which Sara frankly thought was impossible, seeing as Yelan was extremely tall, and Sara heard the girl was playing basketball when she wasn’t doing archery. The girl had icy hair in a long braid, akin to the braid Ei wore, matching the icy blue color with pale eyes.
When Itto said Liyue students were attractive, he wasn’t kidding, which Sara found surprising when all he seemed to do was kid around. However, Sara would never think they were more attractive than Ei and Miko.
Sara shook her head to herself, scoffing slightly. She blinked, watching as Gorou, her teammate, strolled up to her and Yoimiya, an unreadable look on his face.
“Sara, in the nicest way possible, you need to focus for a bit,” Gorou chuckled slightly, looking over in the direction of Ganyu and Yelan, before adding “you’re just as good as them, you hear?”
Sara nodded, taking a deep breath.
“On the topic of you not focusing, have you been alright recently? You’ve been a lil’ jumpy, y’know?” Yoimiya assesses, causing Gorou to nod in agreement.
Sara blinked in surprise. While she attempted to separate her personal life from her athletic life, she knew that some aspects of her life had been interfering with her athleticism, much to her dismay. Sara sighed apologetically.
“My apologies. I have just had- a lot on my mind. I will not let it affect my performance, I promise,” Sara tells them, causing both Yoimiya and Gorou to raise their brows.
“No- Sara, we don’t care about how well you do, we just wanted to make sure you are okay, y’know?” Yoimiya says, waving her arms slightly.
Sara’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Oh, I see,” Sara mumbles, nodding.
Sara sighs, nodding to both in thanks, her attention shifting to yelp in the sound of her name coming from the stands. She smiles softly, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at the sight.
Miko is currently a few feet away in the stands, whooping and hollering Sara’s name whilst on Ei’s shoulders, while Ei awkwardly tries to shove her off, whilst of course struggling to get her to calm down.
Sara smiles. Nobody would usually show up to her archery tournaments, not even Signora, mostly due to her dismissing Sara every time, stating that in fact it wasn’t a real sport, so why should she even bother. Sara groans at the thought, once again.
Why must she relate every moment of her life to her . Signora had finally left her alone, so why even think about her? She wanted to forget, but she couldn’t.
The bruising grip.
The wandering hands.
The sharp nails.
“Stop squirming. You are going to force my hand, and make me have to hurt you more,”
“Sara.”
It hurts, a lot more than it usually does.
Why?
“Sara!”
Sara abruptly turns her head at the sound, seeing the concerned gazes from not just Miko and Ei, but Yoimiya and Gorou as well. She feels her pale face warm with embarrassment. A chorus of concerned voices fill her ears.
“You good, dude?”
“Sara!? You okay? You’re kinda pale.”
“Sara? You with me?”
Sara nodded vigorously.
“I apologize. There is no need for concern, I just simply zoned out,” Sara reasons, trying her best to ignore the burn of Miko’s skeptical gaze from her vision.
“You sure? You zoned out for like- a minute, you looked like- not good,” Yoimiya says, once again laying a warm hand on her shoulder, causing Sara to subconsciously raise her shoulder in alarm.
“I assure you, I am fine,” Sara grunts, backing away slightly.
“You were really pale, Sara,” Gorou tells her, putting his bow back on the rack.
“I am fine!” Sara yelps unconvincingly, stalking off, before adding, “if you excuse me, I must use the restroom.”
As she stalked off, she could still feel the gazes of concern burning into the back of her head.
She hated it.
Sara slammed the door to the stall, thanking whatever god there may be that nobody was currently using the restroom, because that would lead to an extremely humiliating encounter, with them most likely having to witness the stoic Kujou Sara on the verge of tears for seemingly no reason.
She tried to swallow the sob building in her throat, threatening to escape her mouth akin to a bird in a cage. Her hands balled into fists, resting at the sides of her head, tugging on her hair. She tried once again to blink away her tears, tugging her knees to her chest.
Why?
Why must she always think of her? Everything she did, she could still somehow feel as if she was back there. The nails grabbing at her wrists, the harsh words, the scowl, and the stare that came before a hand hit her face.
No matter what she was doing, she felt her presence, like an apparition haunting her. Sara felt nauseous. Not enough to just throw up and get it over with, though. The twisting, sickening feeling that would fill up her throat, never quite leaving.
This wasn’t fair.
While she knew this wasn’t fair to herself, for once in her life giving herself the slightest bit of sympathy, she was mostly focused on how it wasn’t fair to Ei or Miko. The lines of the three’s relationship was blurred. They all participated in… romantic acts with one another, yet they never specified what their relationship was.
However, she did know their relationship was somewhat concrete, making it all the more unfair when she would be thinking about Signora all the time , either when she was with them or not. It felt like cheating. She had to tell them. Let them decide if they wanted to do away with Sara, or keep Sara for whatever reason she couldn’t comprehend.
She clenched her fists harder than they already were, digging crescents into her clammy palms. First, she needed to pull herself together. She had to compete in an hour, so she didn’t exactly have all the time in the world. She wiped her eyes jerkily, standing up, staggering a bit before opening the door. She cringed at the high pitched squeal the door made, robotically hobbling to a sink.
She winced at her reflection. Her face was so pale, yet too red at the same time. She blinked her swollen eyes, sniffling. She turned the sink on, ignoring the cold sensation of the handle on her clammy hands, cringing at the sweat she left on the handle when she relinquished her hand for the stainless steel. She collected the water from the faucet with her hands, splashing it onto her face harshly. Cold water dripped from her face as she shook her head, stepping back and a movement she saw in the corner of her eye.
She abruptly turned towards the movement, preparing to force out an apology for her disheveled appearance, only to be greeted by two familiar faces, the first and last people she wanted to see in this state.
Ei and Miko.
“My apologies,” Sara forced out, “I was just-”
“Cut the bullshit Sara and stop pretending everything is fine,” Miko forced out before she could continue, an unreadable expression gracing her expression, and matching Ei’s.
“I-” Sara began, but was cut off once again.
“No! You are just gonna deny it!” Miko yelled, taking a step towards Sara.
Sara flinched wildly, causing Miko to pause, sending a horrified look from Sara to Ei.
“Sara- I’m-” Miko attempted, before her apology was cut off by Ei.
“Miko! Why the hell would you yell? Sara has done nothing wrong, or at least nothing to elicit yelling,” Ei sigh, sending a glare to Miko, before sending a comforting glance to Sara.
“Look, she is just concerned for you, she just has a funny- no- interesting way of showing it. We know something has been going on with you, you just refuse to tell us,” Ei sighed, before raising both brows in concern while staring at Sara.
Sara had become deathly pale, her breathing coming out in quick gasps. Her breath sounded hoarse. Her clammy hands were clenched in fists, one gripping her hair, and the other gripping her chests, desperately trying to get wheezes out. She looks at Ei desperately, terror and confusion swirling in her tearful gaze.
“Shit,” Ei yelped, reaching out for Sara, adding “calm down.”
“Ei, telling someone to calm down is quite literally the least useful thing you can do to someone having a panic attack,” Miko told Ei, her voice edging in concern for their partner.
“Sorry- I just don’t know what to do,” Ei grunted out, slowly making her way towards Sara.
The mentioned girl was mumbling to herself, over and over. The repetition of a sickly cycle that Sara had trapped herself in.
Ei couldn’t quite make out what she was saying, but she watched Miko’s face shift to deep sadness as the girl neared. Ei froze, finally hearing the phrase that had made even Miko feel guilty for causing this, albeit indirectly, due to the struggle Sara had been having throughout the Sara.
“M’ Sorry, I’m Sorry, I’m Sorry, I’m Sorry-”
Ei blinked in surprise.
“Sara- shit, it’s okay, you don’t need to apologize. Just let us-” Miko began, before Sara cut her off.
“No- I do n-need to apologize ! It- it’s not fair to you two!” Sara grunts out, attempting to catch her breath, still flinching wildly at every step the two took towards her.
Miko sent Ei a look.
“I- I really want to be happy with both of you, really! It’s just- whenever we are h-happy, I can’t stop thinking about her, ” Sara admits, as if she was admitting her biggest sin to a cruel, uncaring god.
Instantly, both Miko and Ei knew what she meant. Ei’s eyes widened in shock. How naive they had been to think once Signora was out of Sara’s life, she would be back to normal. Ei felt her stomach twist uncomfortably tight.
“W-when I’m happy, I think about her, when I- when I’m sad I think about her, she’s always there ! I- I just want her to go away, ” Sara sobbed, rubbing her eyes.
Miko grits her teeth, blinking her wet eyes, sending a glance to Ei. Ei sent her back a saddened glance, standing stiffly. She hadn’t the slightest clue what to do. Ei was never good at comforting people. Always too awkward. Miko sighed, making her way over to Sara, trying to ignore the hurt bubbling in her chest as Sara flinched.
“Sara, it’s okay. We don’t expect you to never think of her. That’s normal in your situation. You’ve realized that, right?” Miko asked, slowly putting a hand on Sara’s shoulder.
Sara sobbed wetly, nodding half heartedly.
“We should have asked you if you were alright sooner. We were fools to assume that once she left you alone, your problems would magically go away,” Miko sighed, rubbing the girls back.
“We also probably shouldn’t have taken your word for what you said the other day, because I knew you were lying, yet I ignored my gut and just let you pretend you were perfectly fine after what she did,” Ei sighed, finally making her way over.
Her voice was stiff. She didn’t know how to comfort people, yet for Sara, she’d try. She knelt down next to Miko and Sara, wincing slightly at the cold tile on her knees. She stared in Sara’s amber eyes, watching her blink the tears out of them rapidly. She let out a watery chuckle, enveloping both Miko and Ei into a warm, yet stiff hug.
“I- It’s not your fault,” Sara laughed wetly, “it’s hers.”
Both Ei and Miko nodded, returning the hug, cradling Sara in their arms.
And for a moment, even after all that, it would be okay. Sara knew it would be, Ei knew it would be, and Miko knew it would be.
“Okay, now can we all agree Sara is 100% getting therapy?” Miko’s voice piped, eliciting a loud laugh from the other two girls.
It would take a while, but they would be okay.