Chapter Text
LaPlus Darkness had a smug smile on her face as she stood on her table with her underlings before her. Iroha was sporting a couple burn wounds on her arms and Chloe had her hair singed. Figures she hadn’t taken a shower.
“Why do I feel like we’ve been in this situation before?” Koyori muttered to herself.
“Can it, Researcher,” LaPlus snapped. Koyori just heaved a sigh as holographic screens appeared in front of her.
“She has a point-gozaru,” Iroha raised her hand. “We haven’t had a debriefing since… that.”
“Yes, that,” LaPlus grumbled. She crouched down and slapped the projector next to her. The machine in question flared to life, revealing a picture of a KFP with an X over it. “With our failed attempt to claim territory, we still need to get money. Rent’s due next week and Iroha’s new PC lost us a good amount of money.”
“Sorry-gozaru,” the bodyguard in question lowered her head. Lui put a hand on her head to console the samurai.
“So what do you propose?” Lui asked.
“What a wonderful question!” Laplus grabbed the projector remote through her sleeve and pressed a button. The screen changed to show a picture of an unassuming man. “I thought that if a building was too much to take, why don’t we take a person?”
“Oh dear Matsuri,” Koyori muttered under her breath.
“You have something to share?” LaPlus turned to the coyote girl.
“You know who that is, right?” Koyori asked.
“Yep! That’s Takamura Kei!” LaPlus slapped her hand on the wall. “He’s not much, but his wife is filthy rich! If we kidnap him for ransom, we’ll be filthy rich!”
There were mutterings of “sasuga yamada'' and “seems legit,” but Koyori’s voice didn’t join them.
“And do you know who his wife is?” Koyori asked, uncertainty coating her tone.
“Yep!” LaPlus put her hands to her hips and puffed out her chest.
“Then who is she?”
“The person who will be paying us a shitload of money!”
“This can only end one way,” Koyori muttered to herself. She was almost certain that LaPlus knew exactly who Usada Pekora was. It was just that she didn’t care. She saw getting one over Pekora as a challenge, just like trying to take over Kiara’s KFP.
“Alright, Researcher. Go with the Bodyguard to scout out Kei’s movements. The rest of us will form a plan to kidnap him,” Laplus said before smacking the projector once more, turning it off. When her underlings all nodded in approval, her smile widened.“Let’s get this show on the road!”
“Yes, My Dark!”
“So, who are you pawning me off to today?” Kei asked. Pekora was texting on her phone and Pekomama had yet to come back from her errands. When Kei expressed his concerns, Pekora just sighed and said something about the human body and pain tolerance. At that moment, Kei wisely shut up.
“Well, Botan said she needed some help opening up her ramen shop,” Pekora said as she put her phone in her pocket. “Since Pekomama took the car, you’re going to have to walk there-peko.”
“You’re filthy rich but you only have one car?” Kei asked. He didn’t want to come off as entitled, but something seemed… off about that.
“We do. You’re just not allowed to use them,” Pekora replied with a smug smirk.
“Can I—”
“Nope,” Pekora replied.
“Kusogaki,” Kei muttered under his breath. He gave Pekora a heartfelt gift and this is how she repays him?
“What was that?” Pekora grabbed one of the kitchen knives on the table. As she took a step, Kei took a step backwards. Before he knew it, he was backed up against the wall. Pekora stabbed the wall next to Kei’s face, the dull knife burying itself into the wall through sheer strength alone.
“You might want to reconsider your words, punko,” Pekora brought her face up so it was an inch away from Kei’s. However, instead of the fear she expected, Kei only raised an eyebrow.
“Did you mean to say peko?” Kei asked with a deadpan. Pekora’s eyes widened and the light immediately faded from her eyes.
“Hah?” Pekora made a sound that Kei couldn’t particularly describe. It kind of sounded like a question and a squeak mixed into one. Kei didn’t care to find out, though. While Pekora was considering what she just said, Kei took the opportunity to book it out of there. As he opened the front door, he heard a guttural scream from the rabbit. He shut the door.
Not dealing with that today, he thought as he walked off.
It wasn’t until Kei made his way to the city when he realized that he forgot to ask for directions. He sent a text to Pekora, but was left on read.
“Guess I’m on my own,” Kei muttered to himself as he started to look around. Maybe he could ask people? No… that was rude. He turned to look across the street just in time to see a car run into a pedestrian, sending him flying.
“Well,” Kei muttered to himself. He was starting to get worried about how little the sight of death was affecting him. “That just happened.”
“Excuse me, but are you lost?” Kei turned around to see a woman facing him. She had short hair designed with two wings on the front and piercing aqua eyes that looked almost like an eagle’s. She was wearing a business dress and a white dress shirt. Her tie was burning red and her high heels brought her up by at least six centimeters.
“Actually, I am,” Kei looked away sheepishly. “Apparently there’s a new Menya Botan? I was supposed to meet someone there.”
“Oh! I know exactly where that is,” The woman smiled brightly. “Here, follow me.”
“Thank you,” Kei said as the woman started to walk. Kei walked roughly a quarter of a meter behind her so it didn’t seem like they were together.
“What’s your name, by the way?” The woman asked. “My name is Lui. Takane Lui.”
“Takamura Kei,” Kei introduced himself as they turned into an alley.
This is weird, Kei thought to himself. A restaurant in an alley? Well, KFP’s entrance is in an alley too.
That’s when he heard it. Another set of footsteps. Someone was following them. He considered telling Lui and then doing three right turns, but there wasn’t anywhere for Kei to do that. It looks like there was only one way out.
“Lui, I think there’s—” Kei was cut off when a bag was thrown onto him and he was yanked to the ground.
“Yatta!” A voice shouted. “We got him!”
“Sasuga yamada!” Another voice chimed. “I’ll get the arms!”
“Piss off, Newbie. I’ll take the arms,” The first voice responded.
At this point, Kei had realized just what happened and started to get up, reaching for the bag.
“Shouldn’t we knock him out first?” To Kei’s surprise, it was Lui who spoke.
“Ah, that sounds like a good idea,” The second voice replied. Kei managed to get the bag off his head just in time to see Lui’s fist flying at his face.
Kei’s world went black.
Pekora was worried. After she got over her anger, she sent Kei the location of the Menya Botan, but it wasn’t even read. She then texted Botan asking if he made it, but she hadn’t seen him either.
Pekora then called and texted Kei, only for him not to pick up.
“Matsuri damn it…” Pekora mumbled to herself. Was this her fault? Should she not have flipped out at Kei?
Why do I even care? He’s just some man you were forced into a relationship with. Pekora thought. Kei was snarky, annoying, and all around a thorn in her side. Even so…
Pekora enjoyed Kei’s company. He brought life to the large house that the two previous residents couldn’t bring. Even if he complained a lot, he always let Pekora drag him around to where she wanted.
Am… am I really seeing this dumbass as a friend? Pekora thought to herself. Or even worse—
Pekora physically flinched when she heard her phone ring. She frantically ran to the table and picked up the phone. She breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Kei’s contact intro. His contact photo was a picture of him bickering with Kiara that Pekomama sent her the previous day.
“Kei, where the hell were you-peko?!” Pekora answered the call and shouted into the phone. Her tone wasn’t one of annoyance, but of genuine worry.
“You were expecting Kei, but it was me! LaPlus Darkness!” Someone that explicitly wasn’t Kei answered. “We have your husband.”
“ What ?!” Pekora shouted. All the worry had instantly faded from her mind only to be replaced with white hot rage. “What the hell do you want with me?!”
“Ten billion yen,” LaPlus replied curtly. “You have a week.”
“I’ll kill you,” Pekora swore. “No. When I’m done with you, you’ll be begging for death.”
“We’ll be sending you a location in a week. We do hope to see you there,” LaPlus replied, Pekora took a deep breath. She can kill them later, but first…
“Who should I address the check to-peko?” Pekora asked, trying her best to sound defeated.
“HoloX,” Pekora could almost hear the smirk in LaPlus’ tone. Before Pekora could say anything, the line went dead. Pekora considered crushing her phone as a form of catharsis, but she had a better idea.
Pekomama was on her way home when she heard the phone ring. She pressed a button on the car’s screen, accepting the call.
“Usada Pekomama speaking. Who is this?” Pekomama asked. She didn’t want to take her eyes off the road. She had already hit her Oozora Police sanctioned kill limit for the week.
“Kei’s been kidnapped,” Pekora’s voice came out of the speakers. Pekomama slammed on the brakes and pulled over, almost hitting a motorcyclist in the process.
“What?” Pekomama grabbed her phone, her eyes widening in disbelief.
“Kei’s been kidnapped,” Pekora replied, her voice becoming more and more agitated.
“I’ll be home soon,” Pekomama replied before hanging up the phone. She then slammed her foot on the gas. As she sped down the road, she wondered what kind of pastry Subaru liked.
The first thing Kei noticed when he woke up was that he was tied to a chair. He looked up to see Lui along with four other women chatting amongst each other.
“Don’t forget, we need to get a house with a bathtub, or at least a shower,” Lui said gently. A masked woman with white hair let out an indignant groan.
“But Lui,” the masked woman whined.
“Hush now, Chloe,” Lui replied before the woman could reply. “We’re going to have enough money to afford it. Don’t worry.”
“We’ll have enough money to build a castle!” A small woman with comically large horns shouted. “I can imagine it now… The HoloX secret base!”
“A castle doesn’t exactly sound all that secret-gozaru,” A blond samurai replied.
“Oh! I have an idea!” A pink-haired animal girl (She kind of looked like a dog girl, but that didn’t seem right) shoved a sheet of paper in the small brat’s face. From what Kei could see, it was a terrible drawing of a house. It seemed that no one was paying attention to their captive.
“Ahem,” Kei said. Everyone immediately snapped into action. They all stood up before forming a half circle around Kei, the smallest woman in the center.
“Well, well, well, looks like you’re finally awake,” The brat said with a smirk. “Welcome to the secret layer of the great HoloX! I am LaPlus Darkness, the leader of this secret society.”
“Pleasure,” Kei muttered. “Anyways, why am I tied up in a chair?”
“Why to get some money from your wife, of course!” LaPlus replied. Kei looked around. He could see why they needed money. This place looked like it hadn’t been worked on in a month.
“That… sounds like a bad idea,” Kei muttered under his breath. The animal girl’s ears twitched.
“That’s what I said!” She exclaimed. She then turned to Kei. “Ah, my name is Hakui Koyori. Sorry for the mess… as you can see, we’re quite strapped for cash.”
“Not for long!” Kei then turned to look at the masked woman. “I’m Sakamata Chloe, and you’re gonna make us rich!”
“Chloe, show some respect-gozaru,” Iroha swatted Chloe’s arm. The masked woman seemed to flush in response. Kei could swear he heard a squeak, but that was probably just his imagination. “My name is Kazama Iroha. I wish we could have met under better circumstances.”
“And you already know me,” Lui replied. She then put a hand behind her back and her smile widened. “But if I must introduce myself again…”
She then shot her arm out to the side, revealing orange, triangular glasses. She put them on and music started to play. Kei raised an eyebrow when he realized the music was coming from a phone speaker.
“AFOO!” Lui exclaimed. Each person had a different reaction. LaPlus had a proud smile on her face. Chloe took out two glowsticks from her coat and started to wave them. Iroha made her way to a chair and sat down, a gentle smile on her face. Koyori just rolled her eyes.
Kei, however? Kei heaved a sigh as a singular thought crossed his mind.
This is going to be a long day.