Chapter Text
A Different Choice
By Alkeni
Chapter 15: I'm Still Here
Ward's Bunk, The Bus, The Playground
D Plus Nine
When Skye awoke to the feeling of the plane descending, she noticed two things immediately. One, she felt completely safe and utterly content. Even knowing, that Hydra was still out there and that the United States government was after their heads and everything else, Skye still felt safe.
Two, there was an arm wrapped around her stomach and it was holding her against a firm body on the small bed behind her. A flash of panicked 'where the hell am I' was replaced almost immediately when she remembered where she was, and who it was that was behind her on the bed – a bed that really couldn't fit two people, as evidence by the fact that her leg and arm were hanging off of it, and her arm in particular had gone entirely numb.
Taking a moment to lift her arm and move it around some slowly, Skye considered how best to get out of the bed without waking Grant up.
She hadn't meant to fall asleep next to him, in his bed. Entirely clothed or not, that was a pretty big step forward, especially given that as much as she wanted – and planned to have – a real relationship with him, this probably wasn't the best time to make those big forward steps. But... she'd been as exhausted, emotionally, mentally and physically as he was. And being there with him...
Maybe she shouldn't, but she felt safe around him. Grant would never hurt her, she was sure. Admittedly, she wasn’t sure about… well, most things these days, but she was sure of that.
So apparently she'd gone and fallen asleep. And Grant was apparently a cuddler in bed. Well, not that there's much room in these beds to be anything else. Skye could only hope that this base, which was where she was guessing they were landing, had bigger beds. Even for one person, these beds were small.
Unfortunately, Grant had her in a bit of a tight grip. She was pretty sure she could get out without having to tell him to move his arm, but she didn't think she could do it without waking him up. He was a light sleeper.
Grant probably needed more rest – they all did – but they'd landed. Time to say hello to the new base. Skye started to sit up, not bothering to try to do so slowly or carefully, and sure enough, she heard Grant stir, then wake up.
“Skye.” He said softly, opening his eyes and looking at her. “You're still here.”
“I'm still here.” Skye confirmed. “I told you I would be.” She looked down at his arm, which was still holding her against him. “Though if you could move your arm...”
Grant moves his arm immediately. “Sorry.” He murmured, looking away from her for a moment.
Skye reached under his chin and tilted his head so he was looking at her. “It's fine.” She let go of his face. “It's nice to know that the Robot is a cuddler.” She gave him a small smile. “I think we've landed.”
“Doesn't feel like we're still flying.” Grant confirmed. He swallowed. He didn't look a thing like the self-assured, confident agent Skye knew. Of course, Grant was anything but confident and self-assured, when you got right down to it.
“You're going to have to act mostly normal around everyone else, you know.” Skye said softly. “We can't – they can't know.” If they knew... she didn't know what Fitz and Simmons would be like, but she didn't think for a second that May or AC would be willing to give him a chance. Not after she'd seen Garrett's message – or at least, what she had of it. Garrett knew Coulson, had known him for years. Which meant that Garrett would have to know what would make Coulson turn on Grant, right?
Grant nodded slowly. “I can...” He could. Which really still bothered Skye, just a little. She- she believed him about the really important things – that he loved her, that he had turned his back on Hydra, that he wanted to be a better person. But she had trouble believing everything else one hundred percent – she wanted to, and she believed him mostly but...
Grant was clearly the best liar she'd ever met. He'd lied to nearly everyone around him for years. She needed a way to be sure.
As far as she could tell, the only way she could be 100% sure about everything when it came to Grant was the lie-detector chair that Eric had used. Unfortunately, unless there was one at this base, that wasn't exactly an option now was it?
Time can tell as well, I suppose...
Skye didn't want to be keeping this secret from the rest of the team, from Coulson. He was the guy who had given her a second chance, who had trusted her, who had believed in her. But – she didn't have a choice, right? I don't. Maybe at some point down the line she could tell them, once Grant had done enough that no one would be able to question his loyalty, but until then...
Skye was cut off by the sound of her phone buzzing in her pocket. She was getting a text. Skye reached into, curious, and saw that it was from Simmons. Fitz is awake! Skye showed the phone to Grant, who managed a small smile at the news.
“That's good to hear.” Grant said. “I wish I could have... could have stopped Kaminsky without him getting hurt. That's what I was trying for, but...” He let out a breath.
“Simmons told me about it. You did the best you could, Grant.” Skye put her phone back in her pocket and took her hand.
“I know.” Grant replied. He took a breath. “We should go see him.”
“Definitely.”
The Lab, The Bus, The Playground
D Plus Nine
Ward did know that he'd done his best. He wasn't beating himself up over the fact that Fitz got hurt. He didn't like it, and he wished that it hadn't happened, but... he had done his best.
He was only thankful that it hadn't been worse. He liked Fitz. He liked Simmons. He hadn't expected to grow to like them, anymore than he'd expected to fall in love with Skye. But he had. And he was... he was very glad that he hadn't had to turn on them. That he hadn't had to hurt them. That he wouldn't have to hurt them or turn on them. That he could keep their friendship.
But if they found out... they'd turn on you, wouldn't they? They'd hate you-
Ward closes his eyes for a second before following Skye into the Lab, clamping down on that thought. He'd been terrified Skye would turn on him, that Skye would hate him. And she hadn't. She hadn't even remotely. She'd believed in him. And Fitz and Simmons – they were good people. Nearly as good as Skye.
If Skye thought that telling everyone else was something they shouldn't do, he'd go with that. FitzSimmons, as much as he liked them, couldn't keep a secret or lie worth a damn. Not at the moment, anyway. They might have to learn how now that S.H.I.E.L.D. is gone. And while he... he at least wanted to believe that FitzSimmons would be like Skye and give him a second chance, and thought it we possible... he agreed with Skye. Coulson and May... no. They wouldn't. Coulson's entire life had been and was S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Coulson would never accept that a man who had betrayed the agency so completely could have a second chance.
I don't really deserve that chance. Ward didn't. He knew that. But Skye was giving it to him... and he was taking it. Ward wasn't going to just toss aside this chance, especially not since Skye was the one who, despite knowing what he'd done, what he was, was giving it to him.
Ward pulled his mind back into the present, in the lab. Simmons and Fitz were standing next to each other. Fitz looked like his usual self, expect for the way he was standing – a little more gingerly, carefully – and the fact that his arm was in a cast and sling still.
“Fitz! You're better!” Skye hugged the engineer firmly, but was careful to avoid his arm and his side. She pulled back. “You are better, right?”
“You don't think Jemma would let me out of the pod I I wasn't, do you?” Fitz pointed out, smiling a little.
“Good point. She kept me in there for days.” Skye laughed.
“Because you were shot in the stomach and nearly died, Skye.” Simmons countered. “And I only kept you in the medical pod as long as was necessary. But yes Fitz is better. He's going to need some physical therapy for his arm – one of the bullets tore into his bicep – but he's better now.” She smiled.
“I'll take physical therapy over being dead any day.” Fitz said. He looked over at Ward. “Thank you for that.” He held out his good hand, and Ward shook it, glad that Fitz knew him well enough to not expect a hug. A few months ago, maybe he wouldn't have, but a lot had happened in the last few months, for all of them.
“It is my fault you got the bullets in you at all.” Ward pointed out.
“No, that would be that Hydra guy's fault – whatshisname?” Fitz disagreed.
“Kaminsky.” Ward supplied.
“Right. Kaminsky's fault.” Fitz finished. “I have you to thank for the bullets just getting in my arm and grazing my side, not going into my head.” He smiled. “So thank you.”
Ward nodded. “Alright.”
“It's good to see you rescued, Skye.” Fitz added, looking to her. “Jemma filled me in on what happened while I was out. Garrett's dead then?”
“Deader than a doornail, yes.” Skye supplied. “And good riddance to him.”
“Most definitely.” Fitz agreed, Simmons nodding in agreement as well. He looked over at Ward again. “Thank you for that as well – rescuing Skye and killing Garrett.”
Ward felt his throat tighten and his head feel light for a moment at the discussion of John's death at his hands... It had to be done. For Skye. For the team. But still... He'd killed the man who had done so much for him. That was never going to be okay. Just thinking about it -
Ward buried the thought, shoving it deep into a box, closing the lid. If he wanted to function, he couldn't think about that. There were a lot of things he couldn't think about if he wanted to function. And it was getting harder and harder to not think about those things. But he was going to keep at it. It was his only option.
“I did what I had to do then.” Grant answered after a moment. “I don't regret it – he had a gun to Skye's head – but... I wish it hadn't come to that.” Not that arresting John would have worked, really... but he wished...
I wish there'd been a way to not kill John and keep Skye safe. He couldn't help it. Skye wouldn't like that idea at all, he knew. She was wrong about John though – John had helped him. Done so much for him. In the end, he'd had Ward do bad things, a lot of them, that Ward wished he hadn't had to do, especially now, but...
John hadn't been like Skye had said he was. He'd owed John.
Grant forced it all back into the box. He couldn't do this. Couldn't think about this.
After a moment, Fitz nodded. “I suppose you're right. And... we really shouldn't be celebrating anyone's death.”
“No, we shouldn't.” Simmons agreed, looking down at the ground for a moment. Out of the corner of his eyes, Ward saw Skye about to speak, but then she looked at him and seemed to think better of it.
“Did AC tell you about him being 'Director Coulson now?” Skye asked Simmons, and Ward couldn't help but blink. Skye pursed her lips a moment. “I suppose that means I should call him 'DC' now, right?”
Director of what? S.H.I.E.L.D. was gone.
“No. I've been busy here in the lab.” Simmons answered. “He's Director? Did Fury make him the Director or something? What about Commander Hill? Wouldn't she be the -” Simmons started, the speed of her speech increasing by the word, then she flushed. “Sorry. Should let you explain all that.”
Fury – but – he's dead? Apparently not. Either Koenig had lied to them, or the former Director had lied to him. Ward wasn't surprised either way – if he'd been Nick Fury and had come out of the whole mess surrounding the Fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. alive, he'd have wanted to keep that survival under wraps, at least for now. As the – now former, apparently – Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. would be a high-value target for Hydra to go after.
“Hill went to Stark Industries, remember?” Ward pointed out. “But – well, isn't Fury supposed to be dead?” Fitz nodded in agreement, clearly as confused as Ward was, though Ward did a better job of not showing it.
“That's what I thought.” Skye agreed. “But apparently he's not. He made Coulson the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.” If Hill wasn't an option, it made about as much sense as any other choice, Ward supposed. Whatever else, Coulson was a good man, with his heart in the right place. A bit naive at times, and far from perfect in Ward's eyes, but a good man.
And he'd die before letting Skye get hurt. For Ward, that was the most important thing. Skye was the most important thing overall, and the fact that Coulson valued Skye like his own daughter meant that the man would be almost as interested in keeping her safe as Ward was.
For the benefit of both himself and Fitz, Skye explained what had happened when they went to Cybertek, how they'd reunited Ace and Mike Peterson. She also told Fitz about the virus John had left to try and bring down the plane. Of course she didn't mention the full details of the message included in the virus, just that the virus had been a parting gift from the man.
“And so I'm guessing we've landed at or near our new secret base.” Skye laughed. “Assuming this one stays secret too.”
“We can only hope.” Fitz agreed with humor in his tone as well. “Though I think I won't unpack everything just yet.”
Orientation Room, The Playground
D Plus Nine
The new base – the 'Playground' apparently was big. Bigger than Providence, she was pretty sure, though she'd hardly been all over either. The hanger in this one was bigger though, that was for sure.
Getting off the ramp to see a clone – or twin brother, as it turned out – of Eric Koenig had been a bit of a surprise. When Trip had seen Billy and then looked back over to Eric, his 'there are two of you?' had been answered with an 'actually, there are thirteen of us' by the two brothers in unison. Skye suspected they were just messing with Trip, but she couldn't be sure. And putting one of them into the lie-detector chair wasn't exactly likely, since they were the ones who had administered everyone's.
Billy likes lanyards as much as Eric does, apparently. But since this was a new base, their old lanyards didn't count, apparently, and everyone but Coulson and Eric needed to go through orientation. Again. Unlike Eric, who had let people volunteer, Billy had come up with an arbitrary order, that had ended up with her coming fourth, right before Grant, who went last.
When Grant walked into the room, Skye didn't leave. Billy looked over at her, “Agent Skye, your orientation is done.”
“I wanted to watch Grant's.” Skye answered, her tone casual, effecting a shrug. What she wanted was to see the chair in action. She wanted to understand how it worked, and if she could use it to be one hundred percent sure on the things she wasn't sure about.
The big things – Skye believed Grant completely on those. But the rest... she believed him, she wanted to believe him, but she wasn't one hundred percent sure. He was such a good liar – had lied to nearly everyone around him for years. She needed to be sure, and if he really couldn't beat the lie detector chair, if it really was as good as Eric Koenig had boasted back at Providence...
... already, Skye's mind was on how best to bypass the security for this room so that she could break into the room and give Grant a test, one where she asked the questions she needed answered. The only issue was finding out how to read the test, which was why she wanted to stay in the room and watch.
“That's not exactly proto-” Billy started, but Grant interrupted as he seated himself in the chair.
“If Skye wants to stay and watch, she can.”
Billy shrugged. “Alright.” He walked over to Grant and fitted the pulse monitor thing onto his finger, then went back to the other part of the detector, the part that read the results. Skye watched that out of the corner of her eyes.
“Eric told me about the injuries you suffered at the Hub, and you've gotten hurt more since. You might skew the results if you move too much, so try to stay as still as possible.” Grant nodded. “Let's start with the test questions. What is your full name?”
“Grant Douglas Ward.” The machine didn't change at all, and Skye knew that answer was the truth, so no surprise there.
“Have you ever been married?”
“No.” Grant replied.
“Director Coulson tells me you recently shot and killed John Garrett, the traitor and murderer also known as the Clairvoyant. Is this correct?” Billy asked the question without any realization of context, of course. But Skye saw the way Grant sucked in a sharp breath, his entire body going tense.
“Yes.” Grant answered. Skye watched the display change a little, which made no sense. Grant was telling the truth. She'd seen. But she then – of course.
“Can you repeat the answer?” Billy said, confused. “We're getting some mixed signals.”
“Yes.” Grant said, sounding more firm. The display went back to what it had been before.
“Alright. Better.” Billy replied. “I was wondering for a second – was pretty sure Coulson hadn't lied about that.” He laughed.
“How can you tell a lie from not a lie on that?” Skye asked. “Doesn't look very user-friendly.”
“It's more user-friendly than you might think.” Billy explained, looking back at her. He nodded towards Ward. “Agent Ward, if you could tell us a lie please? And do your best to trick the machine.”
“I've never fired a gun before.” Grant said after a moment's contemplation. His words seemed completely in earnest, and if Skye didn't know much, much better than that, she might actually have believed it. But she saw the readout change.
Billy, apparently enjoying the chance to show off his toy, pointed to the display and how that told him Ward had lied. “Very good Agent Ward. You did manage to get past most of the parameters, but this chair is unbeatable.” He smiled broadly, sounding proud, as if he'd been the one to make the chair. “Anyway, let's move on: Have you ever had any contact with Alexander Pierce?”
“No.”
“Before the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D., had you ever heard of Project Insight?”
“Never.” Grant replied.
“When I say the word 'knife', what comes to your mind?” For Skye, it had been 'Fork'.
“A KA-BAR Combat Knife.” Skye wasn't that surprised Grant's mind had gone to weapons. For a moment, her mind flashed back to the conversation she'd had with him about the ICER, by that hotel pool. But then she brought herself back to the now.
“S.H.I.E.L.D. has fallen. The agency has been declared a terrorist organization. So why are you here?” For Skye, the answer to that question was the same as the one she'd given to Eric at Providence Base. That S.H.I.E.L.D. was the only family she had ever known.
“Mostly Skye.” Grant answered softly. “As long as she's here, I'm here.” He looked over at her for a moment, before looking back ahead, staying in position for the chair. Billy looked from Grant to her, then back to Grant.
Skye felt her throat tighten a little. She shouldn't be surprised by the answer, and in a lot of ways she wasn't, but still. Confirmation that she was basically his entire reason for... everything right now. The way he'd said her name, looked at her, and said straight out that if she turned her back on S.H.I.E.L.D. for some reason, he'd turn right with her.
There's no way on earth that's a completely healthy thing . Being Grant's entire reason – beyond anyone's entire reason – was a hell of a burden, and it wasn't one she especially relished. She wasn't equipped to handle that.
She was equipped to help him, as best she could, and that's what she was going to do. Because he needed help, and she was the only one who could give it. Even if it meant keeping secrets from AC. From May. From the rest of the team. But she had to make him realize there was more than just her. That she couldn't be the entire center of his universe. And I can do that. I think. I hope.
“You said mostly Skye. What else is there then?” Billy asked, his eyes going from Grant to the display now.
“I...I did a lot of questionable things, as a specialist. And some things that were... a lot more than just 'questionable'. I always told myself that it was for a good cause, a good reason. Turns out, what with everything that's happened recently... I'm not so sure it really was. Not always, anyway. Staying here, with S.H.I.E.L.D., helping to take do what we can to stop Hydra... might be a way to make up for the things I've done that I.. that I shouldn't have.” Grant finished speaking.
The entire time Grant had spoken, the read-out hadn't changed at all. That – that was good. Grant had told the truth. That he did want to be a better person. To make up for what he'd done before. Of course, he'd told her as much already. But the confirmation... that was important. He'd thought he was helping Garrett. Thought Garrett deserved all of it, that helping that sick bastard was worth doing all kinds of...
Well, Skye didn't know what Grant had done for Garrett and Hydra. Those were things she wanted to find out... but not right now. She didn't need all the dirty little details. There were some questions she would be asking him once she got him in here. She would just need to make sure to loop the security footage. Or something. Might take her an hour to figure out just what she needed to do. Somehow, Skye doubted it would be any harder than hacking the NSA, which she'd done in an hour more than once.
Then again, this is a S.H.I.E.L.D. facility, so maybe it'll take me two hours?
“Alright.” Billy said after a quiet moment. “Well, you certainly passed.” He smiled. “Let's get you your lanyard and then you'll be all set. Welcome to the Playground, Agent Ward.”
Dining Room, Playground
D Plus Nine
Grant and Trip were unloading the plane, May and Coulson were holed up in AC's new office, Eric was with his brother, and Simmons was organizing the Base's medical facilities – such as they were – to her tastes. That left her and Fitz without much to do, at the moment. Fitz was munching on a bowl of pretzels, the act mostly occupying his working hand. Occasionally, he would start to try to move his other hand to turn the page of the magazine – some kind of engineering thing, Skye had guessed from the cover.
“Going to take some getting used to?” Skye asked, nodding to his sling and cast.
“Some.” Fitz agreed. “Most of what – well, you really need two hands when you're making things.” He frowned. “It's not really going to be that easy to be that useful until I can get this thing off.”
“Arm in a sling or not, you're still a rocket scientist. I'm sure you can figure it out. Make someone hold things for you.” Skye suggested. “If you need a hand, I'll certainly give you one.” She gave him a light smile.
“I appreciate it.” Fitz replied, but shrugged. “Dunno if that'll work as well. But it could do for now.” He gestured to the cast with his other hand. “This isn't permanent, after all. Thankfully. And I owe it to Ward, which means I have to save his life again. It's got to stay balanced out.”
Skye laughed a little, “Really? It has to stay balanced out?”
“Of course. Ward and I came out of the South Ossetia mission even, so I need to even things out again.” Fitz smiled a little. “The fact that the team is still together is the best thing we have to hold onto, everything falling apart around us the way it has.”
Skye nodded in agreement. For a split-second, Skye wondered what would have happened if Grant hadn't turned on Garrett. If Grant had stayed with that sick son of a bitch...
But the second passed. It wasn't what had happened.
“You know, if you really want to repay Grant, just make him an ICER he can disassemble.” Skye suggested.
“Why would he want to disassemble an ICER? It never jams, doesn't need to be cleaned – nothing catches.” Fitz's confusion probably mirrored her own, but there was a defensive indignation as well – Fitz was just about in love with his design for the ICERs, and very proud of them. As he should be, but that wasn't the issue.
She couldn't help but smirk at Fitz's reaction. “There's nothing wrong with it. Grant just... he likes to be able to disassemble his guns.” She briefly explained the conversation – the part about the ICER, anyway – that she'd had with Grant by the hotel pool.
When she was done, Fitz chuckled. “That does sound just like Ward.” He put his good hand on his hip and lowered his voice, letting it get all gravely. “I'm Agent Grant Ward, and I can take any gun apart, with both hands tied behind my back.”
Despite herself, Skye giggled. Fitz and Simmons imitating Ward was always going to be funny. “You know, speaking of Grant.” She added, “You never did get a chance to tell me about the bet you and FitzSimmons made about us.”
Fitz cleared his throat and looked away, a slight flush to his cheeks. “Ah, yes, that.”
Skye leaned in, resting her arms on the table. “So?”
“Well, actually, we made a couple bets on you two – who would make the first move, when you'd actually start dating...” Fitz said, still looking embarrassed.
“Who did you think was going to make the first move?” Skye asked, genuinely curious.
“I figured it would be you.” Fitz answered. “I mean, let's face it, Ward isn't exactly the most -” Fitz searched for the right word, “emotionally expressive guy.” Fitz wasn't that great at it either, but he at least showed his emotions.
And really, you have no idea how right you are, Fitz.
“And that's why Simmons was pushing so hard for me to start the relationship full on?” Skye asked, “Because you'd already won the first bet?” Fitz nodded. “Well, I hate to break it to you, but actually, I didn't exactly make the first move...” After all, if Grant hadn't asked about getting a drink...
Coulson's Office, The Playground
D Plus Nine
“... And the Armory is well stocked.” Ward told Coulson, and listed off the contents he and Trip had gone over after they were done unloading the plane. “No ICERs, but that's not surprising.” Ward had volunteered to fill Coulson in on what the pair of them had found in the Armory, as well as other details they'd learned about the new base. Not so much because he'd really wanted to, but because Ward suspected Coulson had something he wanted to say to him...
Slipping back into the role he'd played for months, before coming clean to Skye, wasn't as easy as he'd thought it would be. But it was still easy. He didn't want to completely be that guy – he wanted to be who he was, who Skye deserved, but he couldn't just change the outward display completely. Not overnight.
“We'll have to make do with what we can.” Coulson said. “Is there anything else?”
“No.” Ward answered.
“Good.” Coulson nodded and put his hands flat on the desk. “So. Skye.”
Ward had expected this. “Sir, if you're going to try to tell me to stop-”
Coulson shook his head. “Skye's a grown woman and she can make her own choices about who she wants to have a relationship with. And in a lot of ways, the two of you complement each other. A long as it doesn't cause any problems in the field, as Director, I have no issues with the two of you.”
Ward had guessed that much was going to be the case, from what Coulson had said several days before, the last time they'd talked – briefly – about Skye and his feelings for her, but it was good to know for sure. Not having to keep more hidden from Coulson than they had to... Skye would be happy about that, and it would be one less variable and complication to worry about.
“No issues as Director?” Ward asked the question, knowing this was the real point.
“You seem to make Skye happy, and Skye seems to make you happy.” Coulson stated.
“She does.” Ward added softly. Everything about her did – her smile, her voice, the way she cared, the enthusiasm she brought to so many things that had long since been business as usual...
“As long as that remains the case, then there's no issues at all. But... if you hurt Skye, I will find ways to make your life unpleasant.” The threat may not have been the usual words you might expect, but the tone that carried them got them across was enough.
Ward did resent the threat just a little. The idea that he'd ever do anything to hurt her, emotionally or physically – it was unthinkable. So he didn't like Coulson's accusation. But Coulson was saying it because he was concerned for Skye, and Ward couldn't fault that.
“I would never hurt Skye, sir.” Ward told him. “You can put me back in that chair and have me say that again, if you'd like.” He was deadly serious.
“No. I believe you. I just want to make sure you understand my position.” Coulson smiled. “Looking back to when you first pulled Skye out of her van – well, who would have imagined the two of us would end up talking about her in this context?”
“Would never have crossed my mind sir.” Ward admitted. “I suppose I should thank you for bringing her onto the plane.” He added with a soft, mostly unconscious smile. He meant it. If it hadn't been for Skye, he wouldn't have had to turn on John, yes, but... Skye... the way she brightened his existence, the way she cared... the way he loved her – he would never regret her entering into his life.
“Mine either. It's good to see that you have more than the job.” Coulson had a distant look in his eyes for a moment, “We'll all need more than the job, with the Agency in tatters.”
Orientation Room, The Playground
D Plus Nine
It wasn't until late that night that they could get into the orientation room. As Skye had suspected, it had taken her nearly two hours to figure out the best way to deal with all the security, loop the cameras, etc. But she'd figured it out, and now here they were.
“I trust you Grant.” Skye told him softly. “I want you to understand that. I believe you – but... I just... I have to be sure. You lied to us for months. Lied to the entire agency for years.” She took his hand and squeezed it. “I just – I just want to be completely sure. About everything.” She didn't want Grant to feel like – like she wasn't trusting him. Like she was turning away from him. She just...
She just needed to be sure.
Grant nodded. “If this is what need to be done, Skye, I'll do it.” He got himself into the chair. Skye went over to the monitor, hoping she could do this right. She'd hit Billy up with more questions after Grant's orientation, trying to understand the device, figure out how to read it.
She was pretty sure she had enough of a handle to do this.
I'd better have .
Skye looked at him, making sure he was in the chair right, which, from what she could tell, he was. “Let's uhm – let's test it. Truth and a lie. Truth first: Do you love me?” She knew this. She believed him that much without any doubt.
“Yes.” Grant said without any change in the read out.
“Okay. And... lie on this one: Have you ever killed anyone before?”
“No.” Grant replied. Again, he said it with such clarity and firmness, she might have believed him. But even before she'd known about his past Hydra-ness, she'd known he'd killed people. And sure enough, the display changed, showing some indication of a lie. It was what she had to go on, at least.
“Okay.” Skye had prepared a mental list of questions. Things she needed to be sure of. Things she needed to know. “What you told me, about how you met Garrett. About what he did, the woods. That was all the truth?”
“Yes.” Grant replied. No change. Skye took a deep breath. Okay. Good. A part of her had been – she'd believed Grant, but she hadn't been sure. She'd known that if it was true – Garrett had totally fucked Grant up, with what he'd done. One of the things she needed to find more about was more details, exactly what happened in the woods. But that could be later.
“Did you know Garrett was going to have Quinn shoot me? Any warning at all?”
“No. God no.” Grant said, and Skye could hear the desperation in his voice, his pleading for her to believe him. “I had no idea. I would never have let him, if I'd known.” The machine read that as true. Skye let out a sigh of relief. She hadn't – but a small part of her... “You have to-”
“I believe you.” Skye said softly. She watched Grant let out a breath, watched the terror leave his eyes. That was something she'd once thought she'd never see in Grant's eyes... but... well, maybe that should have tipped her off. Fear was normal. But what Grant had gone through was anything but.
“You have information on Hydra. Information that can help us beat them?”
“Some. Names. A few accounts. Safe houses. Most of what I know will be – obsolete, now that Garrett's out of the picture. His branch of Hydra is gone. He didn't tell me much about the other sections. But I'll tell you everything I know.” It came up as true.
“That can wait.” And now the big one. The one question that was really important that she wasn't... wasn't absolutely sure about.
She knew for sure that Grant loved her. She knew – believed him completely when he said he'd turned his back on Hydra, that he was on the good side now – even if it was because that was her side. She believed him when he said he'd never hurt her, and that he'd do anything to keep her safe – and she was going to have to work on narrowing that 'anything' down some...
But the one thing she wasn't sure on, that was really important...
“What you did. For Garrett. Do you... do you regret it? Morally, I mean?” Did he... did he feel bad about the things Garrett had had him do? Killing that guy – the first guy, that she'd seen in the recording... “I don't know what exactly you did for Garrett... I'm not sure I want to know all the details, but... you said you got that some of the things you did before, were wrong, when Billy was asking... but... do you – do you really regret them? Really get why they were-” She wasn't even sure what she was asking now.
“I...” Grant trailed off. “I...” He started again, “I'm not sure... I'm not really sure I really understand right and wrong anymore. I've spent so long convincing myself everything was for a good cause...” The machine read everything Grant was saying as true. “I understand the... but-” He closed his eyes and took a breath. “The first few times I actually killed for John, I... I remember feeling – like a monster. I remember... I remember throwing up, being disgusted with myself... but... every time... it got a little easier. I convinced myself that what I was feeling was... just weakness. That they did need to die. For John...”
“I wish I could undo what I've done. I... There are a lot of things that I've done that I regret.” Grant said softly. “Lying to you, the team, not stopping Garrett sooner... those are some of the worst. I told you that you make me want to be a better man, a good man... but I'm not sure- I'm not sure what a good man is.” The machine continued to read it as true.
Skye had no idea what to think in response to that. It was... okay, it was a little frightening, to hear that Grant wasn't really sure what was right and what was wrong. He did know that some of the things that he'd done were bad. Were wrong. He just...
Am I just rationalizing here? No, she wasn't. The machine read as truth. And Grant couldn't beat it, so...
He's not just a morality-less machine that's transferred his loyalty to me. He wasn't a 'robot'. He wanted to be better, because he understood that what he'd done was wrong.
But – still. He didn't regret everything...
Then again, I don't regret everything I've done that was probably not the most 'moral' thing in the world. A lot of her hacking did tread into some morally gray territory. Sure, good cause, free information, but...
And Grant was trying to help the guy he thought he owed everything to .
At the end of the day, what was important was that Grant wasn't some evil, soulless monster. He knew that he'd done bad things, he wanted to do better, be better. Be a good man.
Skye took a step back from the display. She needed – she needed to not think about all this for a little bit. And...
Now that she knew for sure that she could, at the end of the day, trust Grant completely. She approached the chair and unstrapped at him from it. Placing her hand on his chest and leaned in, pressing her lips to his.
Grant loved her, and she... she wasn't sure if she'd use the word love just yet, but... she cared about him. A lot. And she had feelings for him. Strong ones.
After everything that had happened, S.H.I.E.L.D. falling, being chased by the US Government, being kidnapped by Garrett. Fitz getting shot... the whole world falling apart around her. She wanted something... something normal. Something she could hold onto.
Skye pulled back from his lips. “I trust you Grant.”
Skye's Bedroom, The Playground
D Plus Nine
They were inside her bedroom, her lips on Grant's again, all but pushing him against the wall as she stood on her toes to kiss him.
Was this maybe the best of ideas? Right now? Maybe not. But she wanted Grant. She wanted to be with Grant. For all that he'd done, he mattered to her. She didn't want to imagine him out of her life. And she wanted to let him understand that. That she did trust him, completely. That she accepted him.
Maybe love is the right word. Skye wasn't sure. But they had time for her to figure that out. They had time now. She was giving herself that time.
Skye pulled back for a breath, then grabbed onto Grant's hand, pulling him towards the bed. Grant pulled up short.
“Skye – are you sure?” Grant asked softly. “I don't want you to feel like-”
Skye smirked. “I'm sure.” She lowered her voice a little, adding a sultry note. She tugged on his hand and pulled him to the bed, pushing him down onto it, then straddling him, leaning down over him to press her lips to his again. She pulled back for again again after another minute, and started to run her hands down his clothed chest, moving towards the bottom of his T-Shirt.
“I love you Skye.” Grant said softly.
Skye's Bedroom, The Playground
D Plus Nine
“I love you Skye.” Grant told her, his voice soft. For years, he'd made no choices, done nothing that wasn't ultimately for John. He'd always chosen John. But finally, now that he'd met Skye, that he had her in his life – he had love, he had her... he'd finally made a choice.
He'd finally made a different choice.