Chapter Text
Thunk.
The arrow landed near the outside ring of the target. Cypher watched from the sidelines while the scribbling of Viper’s pen drove him insane.
Clack.
The arrow missed the target, landing to the right on the tiled training room floor.
Cypher looked closely at Sova as he grabbed another arrow. His arm had a slight bend to it, his fingers on the arrow fidgeted for a bit. It looked almost like he was stressed. Something Cypher had never seen before in Sova. He didn’t blame him. The click and the clack of Viper’s pen would drive anyone into a panic attack, especially in Sova’s current state.
He watch Sova take a deep breath in, he brought his arrow up to eye level—
“Why don’t we try this with guns? I think we’ll get better results,” Brimstone spoke up, causing Sova to jump, releasing the arrow too early and hitting the very bottom ring of the target.
“No,” Sova spoke sternly, “This is the weapon I grew up with. I just— give me a few more tries.”
Cypher watched Viper lean close to Omen and Sage. She said words he couldn’t hear, but he saw Sage frown and Omen shake his head.
Sova brought the arrow up to his eye line again to aim, keeping the tip of it near his cheek. Cypher didn’t know much about bows, even if he helped build Sova’s, but he watched Sova steady himself.
Thunk.
Bullseye.
Sova turned back, not to look at Viper or Brimstone. Instead, he looked at Cypher. His prosthetic eye glowing in the dim lighting. Cypher just nodded.
A mutual understanding between them in that moment.
It worked.
He turned walking out of the door away from Sova. Killjoy was on one of her computer screens in the room looking through Sova’s file.
“He’s having a panic attack,” Cypher said swiftly moving past her, exiting toward his room.
—
He certainly wasn’t used to waking up in someone’s arms.
So when he didn’t wake up in Sova’s arms he was shocked at how betrayed he felt. He crawled to the other side of the bed looking at his alarm. 8. He tended to have his alarm go off much earlier. Considering he didn’t hear it he assumed Sova had turned it off. Cypher groaned, face palming. He flopped on his back staring at the ceiling.
Why did he expect him to stay?
He heard the handle to his room move about and fear crept into his mind. He quickly turned searching for his mask, cursing to himself once he realized he had forgotten it in the main room.
“Sorry about that—“ Cypher froze, turning to face Sova, who had just opened the door to his bedroom.
“What—?” He didn’t realize he was almost crying until he realized how shaky his voice was.
“I left a note?” Sova was holding a tray of food from the kitchen.
Cypher turned to his alarm clock, finding a sticky note on top. He snatched it, turning it around in his palm.
‘Getting food :)!’
Oh.
Sova placed the tray on Cypher’s desk. He began to circle to the other side of the bed in an attempt to get closer to Cypher but instead tripped on the bin, causing the burnt mouse plush to tumble out.
Cypher stared at the thing. He moved to the edge of the bed grabbing it. Sova sat beside him gently but hesitantly placing a hand on Cypher's back.
“Was that Rhea’s?” Sova moved a few hairs from Cypher's face.
“A long time ago, yes. I was planning on throwing it away. A bad memory,” Cypher stood placing the stuffed animal back on his desk. Something about the stuffed animal made these fears harder, but part of him understood why he needed the reminder. He only had two things left of that night. The other was still around his neck. He gently touched the ring with a sigh.
“Do you want to talk about last night?”
He knew that if he kept his emotions hidden, if he and Sova never talked about the things that pained them, then they could never improve or move on from their emotions. They were broken. They were glass. Cypher placed his hand on Sova’s cheek. “Yes.”
Sova moved his hand on his back to touch Cypher’s far arm, bringing him into an embrace. He kissed the top of his head. It was a simple gesture that meant the world to Cypher. Last night was going perfect. He loved it. He ruined it. The thoughts about Nora throughout the day built up into him becoming a sobbing mess. He hated it. He hated that no matter what he did he still thought of her. There was no moving on from her death. He could never.
“I’m sorry about last night,” Cypher said plainly.
“It’s ok. I can’t get upset at what happened because you— you’ve already seen me at my worst,” Sova rubbed Cypher’s arm with a smile.
“It’s not fair how kind you are,” Cypher whispered but he looked up to see Sova make a face. Sova could never take a compliment; it was one fact about him that made Cypher want to strangle him. Instead Sova placed another kiss on his head.
“Can I ask why it happened?” Sova kissed his temple.
“I think I just kept thinking about Nora. Something about it snapped and I just— I felt the smoke of that night in my lungs.”
Sova didn’t say a word just let him talk.
“I really care about you, and I meant every word I said. That night—“ Cypher placed his forehead against Sova’s, “It was nice, I’d like to do that again.”
Sova chuckled, “Which part?”
Cypher laughed with him, “Well, all but the panic attack preferably.”
“Oh, I meant um—“ Sova’s face fell with guilt.
“I’m just teasing.”
“But in all seriousness, you're not upset at me? I— I was really worried I took it too far.”
“What happened was not your fault. If I didn’t— if I didn’t think of Nora, I imagine we wouldn’t have stopped.”
“Ah…” Sova looked away before placing another kiss on Cypher’s forehead, standing, “You should drink some water.”
Cypher smiled standing as well, wandering to his desk picking up the cup. He watched Sova look around Cypher’s drawers, pulling out a simple cotton turtleneck and black comfortable pants that Cypher tended to wear when he wanted to work while in bed. Sova placed them on the edge of the bed. Cypher nearly dropped his cup noticing Sova unbutton his shirt taking it off. his hand moving to his belt causing Cypher to nearly jump, making the tray rattle on his desk and grabbing Sova’s attention.
“I was going to shower,” He paused his movements, looking at Cypher.
“Can I join?” The words just tumbled out of his mouth.
“Oh.”
“Better to save water, right?”
They stared at each other silently for a while before Sova nodded, “Yeah… makes sense.”
The shower was short. Well, it could have been shorter. Cypher wasn’t going to lie and say he didn’t make out with Sova a bit during their shower; however it could have been a much longer shower. As they stepped out, Cypher felt a chill rush through him. He hated the feeling of stepping out of a hot shower then being hit with the cold air. He moved quickly to his clothes still on the bed while Sova picked up his old ones.
“You need to stop using my own logic against me,” Sova hummed.
“Hmm?”
“I said that thing about saving water back in that— ha, hotel room,” He chuckled.
Cypher smiled walking toward Sova. Cypher wore his pants and shirt comfortably yet Sova was still only in his boxers, “I didn’t realize I’d get points off for plagiarism.”
Cypher wrapped his arms around Sova’s waist, kissing him softly. Sova brought up one of his hands to lay on Cypher’s chin. When the kiss ended, Sova frowned, “We should talk.”
Cypher suddenly felt exposed even if he was the one fully dressed. He didn’t like the tone to his words. For a small second nothing in his life had happened and he was happily with Sova, but the next few words would break that reality again.
“What… are we?”
It was a big question. Cypher was smart, he knew that. He may be a depressed fool but he knew things about himself. He was smart, he was handsome, he was a killer, and he was good at it. However he didn’t know this answer. They had never really talked about their feelings before. They both knew they liked each other, but that tightrope of communication they never walked on.
Cypher knew what he wanted, but he didn’t know if he was ready for that yet.
“I don’t know,” He decided to speak honestly.
“I like you, and I think that is clear. I also think it’s clear you like me but you're a father and this—“ Sova gestured to all around them, “—The protocol, all of it, makes it hard.”
“I don’t want this to be something never talked about or something we walk away from. I don’t want this… to end.”
“Me too.”
“I just don’t think I’m ready for a public relationship. I already got my daughter back. Something that is so vulnerable to share with these people, but letting them know I lo— I’m romantically with you is too much.”
Sova nodded, “What if we didn’t tell them?”
“We can’t hide it forever,” Cypher kissed him again.
“No, but by the time they find out we will have already made some secure counter measures,” Sova spoke through the kiss, Cypher felt him smiling.
“I need to get Rhea,” Cypher backed away, throwing Sova’s shirt to him from across the room.
“Are we hiding this from Rhea too?”
Cypher paused, “Yes. Not forever, but for now.”
“She’ll find out pretty fast if you make her have a babysitter every time we want to do something like this again,” Sova chuckled, walking in stride with Cypher. He grabbed his hair band from the coffee table, moving to get his boots.
“Easy. When she goes to bed, I sneak out to your room.”
Sova laughed, pulling Cypher into a kiss before he could put his mask on. Cypher didn’t want this to be another short kiss. It would probably be the last one between them for a while. Cyphers hands combed between Sova’s hair. He felt Sova laugh into the kiss before drowning in it. Cypher felt hands on his waist. It felt good.
When they pulled apart, Sova gave him a quick kiss on his forehead and an arm rub before Cypher turned, grabbing his gloves and mask, “Are you scared?”
Sova looked back confused.
“You didn’t want to do any of this because of what it meant for being a father to Rhea.”
“I’m still scared.”
“Me too.” They placed their foreheads together for a moment before Sova broke the intimacy to turn the handle of the door, leaving first. Cypher left soon after him.
On his way to Reyna’s room, he ran into Rhea and Reyna. Rhea’s eyes lit up once she had noticed him running up to him with a rich hug.
“Hey there,” Cypher hugged her back and looked up at Reyna.
“We were just about to head over to your room,” Reyna gave a small laugh.
“Did you have fun?” Cypher looked back at Rhea, moving loose strands from her face.
“Yep!” She left their embrace, moving ahead of them toward their room.
Cypher stood, watching her go by. He almost didn’t notice how Reyna began walking up to him. He turned to see her with almost a knowing smirk. He was very thankful that Reyna helped him and watched over Rhea for so long. However he knew he owed her too.
“Did you have fun?” She echoed his own words to him.
“I’m not making it public yet,” He may have not told Reyna he had a date, but she was smart.
“I’m not asking that. I’m asking, did you have fun?”
Cypher looked away from her for a moment, thinking. It was hard to summarize in a yes or no. The date was complicated. Oh he hated how much he had said that word as of recently. The date had begun well, the ending was good, he liked it all for the panic attack. The stress and build up would have ruined it. He truly thought it did, but Sova had so gently told him it was ok. The morning was good too.
He just looked back at her and nodded.
—
The next few weeks were certainly interesting.
Fade found out fast. Well, Cypher told her on the 3rd day, but she knew since the beginning. However, Cypher didn’t like the circumstance of having to tell her.
It was late, maybe midnight? Cypher hadn’t checked the time but she silently left his flat with a small bag. He walked quietly in the dimmed hallway of base, taking note of each room number until he stopped at Sova’s. Before he could unlock the door—
“Ahem,” Fade let herself known.
He turned quickly to look at her. She was wearing simple dark clothes. It looked comfortable enough to be the clothes she wore to bed.
“May I ask why you are sneaking into Sasha Novikov’s room or do I just have to guess?” She smirked.
“If I told you why, you’d probably use it to blackmail me,” He joked.
Fade laughed, shaking her head, “How is it?”
Cypher looked at her with concern under his mask.
“Not— no. I mean, is he kind to you?” Fade looked away from him.
“It’s Sova. Of course he’s kind.”
“Well don’t be loud, these walls are thin,” She walked past him and ignored him calling her name, giving him a pat on his back and a wave goodbye.
When Killjoy found out, it was something Sova and Cypher had talked about it for a long time. Cypher didn’t want his relationship public yet, but the idea of lying to Killjoy again hurt him.
Plus the opportunity fell right in his hands. The second week of them being a couple, a word they never used but it was not inaccurate to say, Killjoy had asked Cypher for help.
“Red or blue?” Killjoy grabbed two dresses from her closet holding them next to her.
“Hmm,” Cypher looked up from his tablet, “Any other options?”
“You are no help,” She threw the dresses haphazardly on the bed.
“Another day off base so soon? I’m shocked Brimstone isn’t limiting how much you're allowed.”
“I’ve been in this protocol longer than even you! I’m allowed to have plenty of vacation days,” she hummed, pulling out a black dress.
“Hmm, I like that one,” Cypher placed the tablet on the side of the bed, “What would you have done if you wanted to keep your relationship with Raze a secret?”
Killjoy looked at him puzzled, “I don’t know. I guess I’d think of old movies where they sneak around but it would be hard to lie to the people I love about what makes me happy.”
Cypher stared at her while she continued to look around her closet for accessories. It was a very interesting way of putting it. It’s the reason he wanted to tell Killjoy about him and Sova. If Sova made him happy, why would he hide that? Cypher’s situation was different. He could lose Sova due to his work. He wasn’t ready to lose someone like that again, but he knew Sova was strong. Nora was strong too, but now they knew what to expect. Killjoy knew her work was dangerous too but she still loved Raze. She still kept her safe well.
“Why do you ask?” She crouched down in her closet near her shoes.
“I’m dating someone,” Cypher said bluntly. He was going to make a large statement. Dance around the subject. However it just felt right to say it now.
She turned quickly, her eyes wide behind her glasses, “Really!?”
Cypher simply nodded.
“How long?” She walked toward the bed sitting beside him.
“Two weeks now.”
“Finally,” She laughed standing once more moving to her mirror, picking up her makeup bag.
“Finally!?”
“I remember when Sova first joined. Ever since then you two may have had your issues but it always felt like an old bickering couple.”
“Well. That’s new information to me,” He had not even told her who he was with.
“I’m happy for you,” she looked at him through her mirror, “I’m just not very surprised.”
—
The third week Cypher went on that walk with Sova, taking Rhea with him as well. It was still early in the morning, the birds sung in their wake.
The leaves whistled through the wind while the ones left behind crunched under their feet. They were far enough away from base that Cypher didn’t have his mask.
“You aren’t hunting?” Rhea asked toward Cypher. She crouched down picking up a small stick.
“No, I'm using this time to scout for picnic locations,” Sova smiled.
“Could you teach me how to use a bow sometime?” She walked forward a bit before turning back miming a bow with her stick.
“Oh no no no—“ Cypher’s heart sank. She was a smart girl, but the thought of her getting hurt misusing something like a bow was terrifying to him.
“Please?” Rhea pleaded at Cypher.
“If your dad said no, I also have to say no.” Sova shrugged
Cypher smiled.
“Have you ever hurt yourself with your bow?” She question turning back to keep in step with them.
“I— kind of.” Sova’s hand moved close to his prosthetic eye.
They still hadn’t fully discussed the weight of what they did in the protocol with Rhea. However she seemed to understand well. Her years in Kingdom did not hide away the pain and suffering she saw. It pained Cypher he couldn’t shield this from her.
Her face fell and there was silence between the three of them before she hugged Sova and walked off ahead of them. The sun rose on the horizon between the trees. They weren’t too far from a small cliff side that had a lovely view of the morning sun. Reyna and Sage had suggested Rhea experience more nature, saying her radiant abilities might be light related.
She seemed to enjoy it.
“Picnic?” Cypher echoed Sova’s earlier words, looking at him.
“I wanted to do something nice for you,” Sova returned the look. Cypher took a step forward placing a hand on his waist.
“Aren’t I the one who does big things like plan dates?” Cypher teased messing with a strand of Sova’s hair.
“Am I not allowed to present you with a romantic gesture?” He smiled, pressing his forehead into Cypher’s.
“Maybe tonight?” Cypher asked, touching Sova’s chin.
They didn’t kiss. It was a mutual understanding that when they wanted Rhea to know it would be on agreed terms. A sit down and talk, terms.
“Sasha! How strong are you?” Rhea called.
Sova moved away from Cypher, running up to Rhea picking her up and twirling her around. They both laughed, lit up perfectly by the morning sun. Their laughs faded as Sova put her back down, “Does that answer your question?”
Cypher folded his arms with a smile. Sova was so good to her.
—
The next morning was spent mostly in bed.
Rhea had asked to have another sleepover again. Cypher took the time to invite Sova over again.
So the morning after was spent in bed; with Sova.
Cypher circled his arm around Sova’s waist, smiling into their kiss. They were both without most of their clothes. Cypher was in his boxers but wore Sova’s full button up while Sova only had his boxers.
Sova moved to mouth at Cypher’s neck. Cypher didn’t know why but he let out a small laugh, playing with Sova’s hair. Sova started to laugh too. For a moment they just stayed there laughing, cuddling into each other.
“You're ruining this,” Sova chuckled before going back to Cypher's throat.
“Sorry sorry,” Cypher gave another soft giggle. He felt Sova begin to touch his lower hips causing him to laugh again.
“Amir!” Sova said in between kisses, with a smile on his face. He leaned away from Cypher before placing a hand by his head moving to lean over him in bed.
“Sorry,” Cypher said quietly with a large smile. He brought his hands up to tuck away hairs from Sova’s face.
“You’re the worst.” Sova returned his smile.
“You love me.”
“I do.”
The air between them changed a bit. The words ‘I love you’ had been strategically avoided between them. Sova leaned down to kiss him again. This one was more gentle. Cypher brought one of his hands to Sova’s cheek, while the other clung tightly to his waist. He didn’t want this moment to end.
“You didn’t laugh that time,” Sova separated first but remained close. Cypher felt his lips on his own as he talked.
“Oh shut it.” Cypher kissed him again this time much more intensely, similarly to the earlier kisses. He felt Sova bite at his lips, Cypher weakly scratched at his back.
Sova backed off from him sitting up a bit with a stretch, “Want to switch?”
Cypher nodded, chasing him with another long kiss. As he broke the kiss he noticed in the corner of his eye his alarm clock fell almost under the bed. He had forgotten about accidentally knocking it over last night. He leaned over, hearing his back popping awkwardly, to grab at it.
13:04
He quickly moved to get out of bed rushing to his drawer.
“What’s wrong?” Sova stayed sitting in the bed slowly moving the sheets away.
“We slept in and spent the last few hours making out; I forgot to pick up Rhea.” Panic and guilt raised in his voice. He was screwed.
Sova stood quickly, moving to grab at his clothes on the floor before moving to put on his pants.
Cypher began struggling to take off the current shirt he was wearing while looking through his dresser for a new shirt.
“Where is your shirt from last night?” He heard Sova question across the room.
“Main room, not in here.”
Sova walked toward Cypher, beginning to button up his dull shirt that Cypher still wore, “Just wear this. I’ll grab something from your dress, you need your pants.”
“None of my clothes fit you, I'll just grab my shirt while I head out,” Cypher backed away, beginning to unbutton them again.
Sova followed turning him around grabbing his hands, “Just let me—“
Cypher let Sova button his shirt, leaning back reaching for the door handle, he opened the door behind. They took a couple steps back bickering still.
“Stop moving—“ Sova mumbled.
“What!?” They both turned quickly at Rhea’s voice. She stood in the center of the room looking at them with a concerned face. She held her bag she took to her ‘sleepover’ in her hands and her hair was in a bun. Reyna must have done that.
Cypher didn’t fully know what to do. He wanted to run and hide. He wanted to say hi to his daughter. He wanted to ask about her day but he also did not want this to be how she found out about him and Sova. He wanted to wait more. Wait until they truly knew what was between them even more.
This was the worst way for her to know.
“We need to talk,” he said gently, trying to give a reassuring smile to both Sova and Rhea, “Just give us 5 minutes, Rhea.”
The second they had both gotten fully dressed all three were sat at the table in the main room. Rhea looked between both of them, waiting for one to speak. Cypher avoided her gaze.
“So… I apologize for that. We should have told you earlier that was—“
“I knew,” Rhea looked away tapping her fingers on the table.
“What?” Sova said quietly.
“After the first sleepover you two seemed a lot happier. You both went out of your way to interact more, plus the way you talk about Sova sounds a lot like how you used to talk about mom,” She directed the last bit toward Cypher. Information that made him freeze. He never noticed that.
“Oh.”
“I let myself in, sorry.”
“No no it’s fine Rhea,” Cypher stood moving closer to Rhea giving her a tight hug, “I— I don’t want you to think I’m replacing your mom.”
She looked up at him.
“I… I thought that’s what I wanted. I wanted to go back to what I had with Nora. I thought I needed Sova to love me like Nora, but I realized that was impossible. There is no one in the world like your mother. She was kind and smart and very good to us, but Nora was Nora and no one else is that. I realized that the more I thought of her, the more I compared someone I love to her, the more pain I caused myself.”
“Does he make you happy?” Rhea tightened the hug. He saw tears swell up in her eyes. He knew the topic of her mother was just as hard on her as it was to him.
“Yes.”
She leaned back, looking up at Cypher before ruffling his hair. She collided back into him for another hug.
“So I get the Rhea approval?” Sova joked, Cypher hadn’t even noticed Sova had moved from his chair to stand next to where Cypher sat.
“Trust me, you would have gotten that no matter what,” Rhea looked up at Sova with a smile.
Sova gently placed a hand on Cypher's back before he leaned down kissing the top of Cypher's head.
“If it was the rich guy with the glasses it would be a different story. I don’t like him!” Rhea shrugged, moving to grab her sketchbook from her bag.
“Me neither,” Sova and Cypher said in almost unison.
“That’s my line,” Cypher teased fully turning toward Sova.
Sova shook his head leaning down to capture him in a full kiss.
“Ew,” Rhea stuck out her tongue in a joking manner.
“I kissed your mother all the time!” Cypher gave a small poke to her after Sova broke the kiss.
“I was six!”
They talked for a while. Sova eventually grabbed lunch for the three. Cypher had joked that it was lunch not breakfast when Sova offered to get food. Rhea budged in that Cypher had forgotten to pick her up, causing them to miss breakfast.
Cypher had taken out a chess board, promising Rhea to teach her how to play. He had played chess since he was her age and the idea of teaching it to her was exciting to him.
“Stay?” Cypher asked Sova quietly while Rhea played on her tablet.
“I’m very used to running,” he lifted his hand, placing it on Cypher's upper arm, “but why would I leave now?”
Cypher grabbed Sova by the collar of his shirt pulling him into a kiss. This was nice. He felt good not having to compare Sova to Nora. He felt good that he didn’t have to hide from Rhea. He felt good that he knew for certain how he felt about him. He didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to lose this moment. After so long he truly had a family again. It wasn’t like the family before but it meant the world to him. It was good, it was new. There is never a normal, only a new.
“Eww,” Rhea fake gagged from behind them.
They broke their kiss, Sova burying his head into Cypher’s shoulder with a laugh. It became contagious as all three began to laugh.
It was nice
—
Cypher had fallen asleep on the couch. He had tucked Rhea into bed and flopped on the couch shortly after. Sova had told him to come to his real bed instead but Cypher had waved him off promising to later. So when he awoke he felt his back ache at the feeling of the couch. He turned to look at the table. Sova was putting things in a bag.
“Morning?” Cypher rubbed his eyes.
Sova chuckled, “Midnight. Get your coat.”
“Hmm?” Cypher sat up looking more closely at Sova.
“I have a surprise.”
Cypher got his coat and other items such as his mask and gloves. Sova waited for him at the door. Cypher stood staring at the direction of Rhea’s room before taking a deep sigh and following.
While they walked the halls he sent a text to Fade. He knew she would be awake at this hour. He did this often to make sure on nights out Rhea would always stay safe.
“Do I get to know what this surprise is?” Cypher said following Sova into the path outside of base, once he felt far enough he swiftly took off his mask.
“That means it would not be a surprise,” Sova called toward Cypher. He was ahead of him by a few feet.
“You're no fun sometimes.”
“I disagree.”
Cypher nearly ran into Sova; he had not noticed he stopped moving. Sova turned, giving a small kiss to Cypher's cheek.
“Close your eyes.”
He listened, letting Sova gently guide him to a spot. He heard twigs and leaves snap under their feet while the wind blew around them. The scattering sound of wind hitting dead leaves on the ground felt pleasant.
“Open.” Cypher opened his eyes at Sova’s request to see a small ledge on the path that looked down into the garden of the base from a different angle. Sova tilted Cypher’s head up making him look at the sky. The stars were the brightest he had seen in several years.
He heard Sova crouch down taking things out of the bag he brought and suddenly it clicked.
The picnic.
“I didn’t realize— I thought the picnic idea was something for later, not tonight.” Cypher said softly. He didn’t know how to feel. He felt like crying. He hadn’t done something like this in so long. Nora showed her love through kind words while Cypher showed his through gifts. He constantly gave gifts to Nora. She gave him gifts back but she knew he preferred making dates. He preferred buying the presents, he preferred surprising her. It felt so different for him to be given something like this. Something about this felt right though. Sova wasn’t Nora and that made this perfect.
“I was going to do it next week, but I thought tonight was much more fitting,” Sova didn’t look up from the bag as he sat down more things.
Cypher slowly reached for the ground as he sat down, he didn’t take his eyes off Sova. Finally Sova looked at him, placing the last item on the blanket.
“Amir?”
“Hmm?”
Sova moved toward him, whipping a small tear from his face. Cypher hadn’t fully noticed it. This felt so nice. This whole thing reminded him of Nora, but it was different. He felt like crying because he felt like he was treated right. Like he felt loved. For four years of his life he felt so alone. Now he had something. He Rhea. He had Killjoy. He had Fade. He had Sova.
“Are you ok?” Sova’s words grounded Cypher in an instant.
“I love it.”
“Oh.”
Cypher brought Sova in for a hug, burying his head into Sova’s shoulder. He let loose a weak sob, feeling Sova smooth down his back. Cypher leaned back, wiping away his own tears. He moved to grab the bottle of wine Sova had brought. He must have been planning this for a while. He turned the bottle in his hands, “Thank you.”
“I thought I hurt you again,” Sova said softly.
Cypher placed the bottle down, turning toward Sova once more. Sova still had his hand on the small of Cypher's back, Cypher placed a hand on Sova’s chin bringing him into a gentle kiss.
It only lasted for a while before Sova broke it off with a puzzled look.
“No matter what, I’ll think of her. It hurts but it will always be that way. Grief and pain are stubborn things. They don’t tend to go away, but we can work through it. For now, let’s just have a nice night.”
Sova smiled, pushing into Cypher with a kiss. They fell together, holding each other, onto the ground. Sova moved his hand up to rest on Cypher’s thigh. Cypher tried to deepen the kiss but Sova broke it off.
Cypher sat up trying to chase his lips.
“Your food is going to get cold. I hunted some of it,” Sova sat back moving to hand Cypher one of the glasses he packed.
The night was nice. They chatted and drank and ate food that tasted amazing. Cypher didn’t realize how good of a cook Sova was until he bit into something that was delicious.
“I grew up learning how to cook. It didn’t make sense if I didn’t know how. I was mostly a hunter though. My mother did a lot of the cooking, however my babushka liked to teach me recipes,” Sova responded after what Cypher assumed must be his expression biting into the food.
Cypher wasn’t a man of wine but he found himself getting tipsy as he and Sova continued to talk… and kiss. He whined into another kiss before breaking it to mouth at Sova’s neck. The position was awkward considering Cypher was under him but he tried to make it work.
Sova’s hands wandered lower and lower until they rested on Cypher’s belt. His hands immediately left his belt when Cypher broke the kiss.
“I really do want to do this right now but it’s going to be a nightmare having to wake up tomorrow.”
They both began laughing, gathering their stuff to return back to base.
—
Things were a lot different after that night. Sova started to stay more nights with Cypher. Cypher really felt at peace, truly felt like he had a family again. He watched Sova help Rhea with her assignments while Cypher sat on the couch drinking tea doing his own, it felt complete. He had his family again. It was a large one considering how much of the protocol he considered family. But it was still his family.
Cypher turned back to his work tapping away at the screen. An email notification popped up from Viper. He tapped on it thinking it must be about the latest information he decoded.
‘You are cleared to return to field missions.’
He scowled at the message. He didn’t know if he was ready yet to go back on the field. The fear of going on a mission and returning to Rhea— he shook away the thought. He couldn’t repeat his old mistakes. The logical part of him knew that she was safe, but that nagging fear would always remain.
He felt Sova’s hands touch his arms from behind and kiss Cypher’s hair, “Are you alright?”
“Mmm yes, however can I talk to you about something?”
“I wanted to talk to you about something as well.”
Sova circled around the back of the couch to sit by Cypher. He turned toward him with a worried look. Cypher placed his hand on top of Sova’s to try and bring reassurance. He didn’t know what Sova wanted to talk about but he knew there was still so much to them they needed to communicate about.
“I’m sorry.”
“Pardon?”
“I’m not done. I wanted to explain that for the two years I’ve known you before the mission with Rhea, I was horrible. I didn’t hate you though. I felt that I was still bound to morals… beat into me. I felt no matter what you did I had to treat it as a trick. I didn’t hate you though. I think I’ve always deeply liked you. The words I spoke a few mornings ago… I meant them. I think I love you.”
These were words he didn’t expect to hear. He had no idea of the direction Sova would take. Suddenly all the words Cypher had built up in his throat faded out. What was there to say or think or do anymore. The simple 3 word phrase made Cypher smile. Made him feel safe.
“You don’t have to say it back,” Sova said bluntly.
“I think I love you as well,” Cypher didn’t mean for it to sound as quiet as it did but the words tumbled out. He probably should have thought through saying them. Thought about what they meant, but the look on Sova’s face and the following kiss was all he needed to know it felt correct.
—
Cypher had exited his room a few hours after. He needed to discuss the email with Viper. However he ran into an issue when he passed by the common room to grab something from his locker. He noticed many of the younger agents staring at him.
He tried to pay them no mind as he heard whispers between them.
“You go ask!”
“Why me!?”
“Do one of you have something to ask me?” Cypher turned, closing his locker.
“So um,” Phoenix stood, “We were wondering… areyousleepingwithSova?”
“What?” Cypher tilted his head in confusion.
Yoru kicked the back of Phoenix’s legs. Phoenix cleared his throat, “Are you and Sova a thing? Or…?”
“Why do you ask?” Cypher was smiling under his mask. He wanted to laugh but it would give away what could be the funniest morning he’s had in awhile.
“Well I mean we all like Sova!” Phoenix said but looked away and quickly mumbled, “I owe KJ creds if you two are dating and I really don’t want to owe her creds.”
Cypher finally snapped and started laughing. He took a step back and luckily the lockers were there to catch him when he tumbled back. Oh he was so proud of Killjoy, betting on something she knew was fact. He composed himself quickly, standing straight, “Yes.”
He walked by the group fast hearing their groans as Raze began laughing. Killjoy of course told her girlfriend, it was only fair. Would he regret this later? Yes. For now though he was enjoying the chaos of it all.
That was a strange thought.
To just enjoy what was given to him.
He stopped in front of the training room seeing Rhea hold her ‘spark’. She was getting stronger. When it faded she laughed and joked with Reyna. She was happy.
Everything was nice.
He smiled under his mask continuing down the hall.
—
The room was dark, Cypher could hardly see, but he felt. He felt hands on his, hands on his face. He felt lips on his and the vibrations of Sova’s laugh. He looked up at Sova, his eye was bright like a star in the darkness of his room. No it wasn’t Cypher’s anymore.
Their shared room.
Sova’s lips moved to his neck and then to his shoulder. He heard Sova move to be behind Cypher.
“I want to—“ Cypher reached blindly for Sova, “I want to see your face.”
“It’s dark,” Sova mumbled in his tiredness, he wrapped his arms around Cypher’s waist, burying his head in Cypher’s shoulder.
“I—“ Cypher turned himself over to face Sova instead, “I love you.”
Sova laid on his back, giving Cypher room to crawl closer. Cypher rested his head on Sova’s chest. His hands shot to Sova’s hair playing with it in the darkness.
Everything was nice.
Cypher moved to give a gentle kiss to Sova’s chin. He froze at the sound of Sova laughing.
“Sasha…” he mumbled.
“Mmm,” Sova hummed, leaning down to kiss Cypher’s forehead.
Everything was nice.
—