Chapter Text
“Momo, how exactly do I… befriend people?” That one question had been lying on Ume’s tongue for what might have been weeks already, a riddle to which she did not know the answer, despite its simplicity.
Entering her older sister’s room had been stressful enough, each step she took feeling weighing more down on her than the previous already did. The question felt mortifying to ask, leaving Ume with a lot of hesitance to overcome before she dared to even form one word with her mouth. Escaping, however, became inevitable as soon as she stepped foot into her sister’s room, her presence spotted immediately after. Her sister was a Shinobi, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that she knew of her presence before Ume had even fully made up her mind.
Better ask now than never.
With downcast brows, Momo sent her younger sister a confused look through the mirror. “Why are you asking?” Simultaneously, she ran her hairbrush through her hair, attempting to tie it up in a tight and secure ponytail, her gaze traveling between the reddening face of her sister and her own hair.
Ume felt her cheeks warm up at the question, her hesitance in continuing growing, still not entirely overcome. “Well, there is someone in the academy I want to be friends with, but I don’t know how to ask … them.”
There was no need to specify who exactly she was referring to with her answer. Ume knew what would happen as soon as Gai’s name left her mouth, the name of a boy. Her older sister Momo was a terrible tease, and as many older siblings did, enjoyed a good tease. The quips themselves were harmless jokes made in good fun, but the chagrin which followed was annoying, to say the least. Especially because from what Ume knew from experience, Momo would most likely get their father in on the joke, the teasing would never end, brought back to life time and time again once Gai showed up with his father to buy something.
To Ume’s relief, Momo did not press the issue of whom she meant and instead nodded.
“Uh-huh, let me think.” Momo tied her hair tie around her hair, securing it tightly before looking over at Ume again. “I’d suggest you spend some time with them and then ask them if they want to be friends. That’s how I usually befriend people.”
For Ume, the concept was a tad bit difficult to grasp, the idea of simply walking up to people in order to talk to them almost frightening. The differences between the two sisters were anything but gradual, more so a cliffside separating their ideals, morals, and beliefs. Ume was not Momo, and neither was she as socially adept as her older sister was, but rather, the complete opposite.
“Spend… some time with them?” From the way she repeated the advice, Ume made it sound almost awkward, completely different from how Momo spoke the words.
“Yes, spend time with them. Support them in whatever they do, train with them maybe, do group projects together. Or eat lunch together, you know what Mama always says, the best way to a person’s heart is through their stomach,” Momo clarified with a little wink at the end. “Try that, maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t. But you’re a sweet girl, I’m sure they want to be friends with you too.”
“I hope so too,” Ume whispered unsurely, knawing on the inside of her cheek nervously. Just as there had been one important question playing in her mind before, there now was another filling the void of self-doubt left behind. “And what if they say no?”
The possibility was very much real and one Ume could not banish from her mind. It wasn’t like it hadn’t happened before, because Ume could clearly remember the last time she had asked whether someone wanted to be her friend of not. And when said person had told her firmly no, the mortification she had felt at that moment had almost consumed her whole, tears decorating her lower lashline for the following hour. To say that she was scared of hearing the word again did not word her feelings correctly and underestimated them.
“Ume, listen to me,” Momo’s lips tugged into a slight frown. “If they say no, then they are the biggest idiot around, alright? You are a sweet and kind girl, I’m sure everyone would love to be your friend, but some just don’t realize that.”
“You think so?”
Momo reached out to ruffle her sister’s hair playfully. “I know so.”
Ume just hoped that her older sister’s words rang true.
***
It turned out that befriending people was not as simple as Momo liked to portray it to be, because no matter how much effort Ume put into spending some time with Gai, somehow, her plan was spoiled time again and again, as though the universe had something against her idea, desperately wanting to prohibit it.
In her thoughts, she did sound just a bit ridiculous, but each time it happened, the conclusion she had come to made sense again. They weren’t meant to be friends, befriending him was something she wasn’t meant to do.
And yet, Ume was persistent in her efforts to talk to him. She wanted to apologize for what had happened last time and befriend the kind boy, thank him for the kindness he had shown her so far. Such simple things proved themselves to be more difficult than she initially thought them to be, more challenging than they most likely should be.
One of the most difficult parts of her idea was not searching for Gai somewhere in the academy, spotting him was effortless even. The green jumpsuit he had worn on the very day they first met was part of his Shinobi gear, something that made him stand out in a crowd among many. Bright green, was the color her eyes searched for day by day, her focus often landing on the ruby red scarf sitting around his neck, perfectly complimenting his dark raven hair. Among the many students of the academy, Gai was unique in her eyes, a sight to behold, simply beautiful from the inside and out.
Up until then, nothing was complex, her gaze settling on his figure and her legs making their way toward the boy whom she wanted to befriend. Pushing through the crowds of students was more tricky, often taking up her now divided attention. She barely dared to speak up for herself, say a word to them, and ask them if she could move past them please, her mouth as though it were glued shut. Neither did she dare use any force to move through the crowd, but instead stood still and waited for a path to open, Gai disappearing from her sight by then. She could have called out to the boy, and yelled out his name to catch his attention, but she had been too scared to do so, frightened by the mere attention of drawing his attention to her like that.
Talking to him proved to be a bigger problem than she wished for it to be.
Ume would let out a sigh, her lips tugging downward into a frown, her eyes darting across the school grounds in search of him. As though he had disappeared into thin air, the older boy vanished, unable to be found for the remainder of the day.
Time and time again Ume tried to catch a moment to spend with him, to potentially befriend him, but her plan was miraculously foiled the moment she set eyes on him. Her spirits were crushed by each failure followed by another, the advice Momo gave her ringing in her ears when she saw him, encouraging her to do something. Never did she yell out to him, or catch his attention otherwise, always shying away once the circumstances moved a hurdle between them.
There was barely any hope Ume had remaining, all of it crushed just like her heart was. Why she couldn’t work up the courage to push through the seemingly endless crowd and to talk to him, she couldn’t say. The young girl was ready to give up by now, believing that there was no point in trying anymore, that it simply wasn’t meant to be. She was too hesitant to talk to him despite her well-meaning intention, too anxious to speak his name or word to him.
There was something so mind-boggling to her about simply walking toward a person and greeting them, despite only having interacted two times before. And yet, Gai was such a lovely person in her eyes, a heart of gold beating in his chest, words of encouragement and joy spilling from his lips. He was the friend she was always told of having, a person who would lift her spirits and be there for her, and the friend she never got to have.
The knowledge that she could change the fact sent a shiver down her spine, one of anticipation mixed with droplets of fear, the fear that she would mess up, do something wrong, and embarrass herself again.
It made her wonder if she was even worthy of being friends with a good-hearted person such as Gai, whether she deserved to have him as a friend or not. Most likely not, Ume couldn’t help but think.
In the distance, she could see Gai standing there with a child who appeared to be much younger than him, most likely one of the children from the newest grade in the academy. The two of them were talking with much enthusiasm, wearing wide smiles on their faces as both of them gestured wildly. Gai’s hands tightened into fists and Ume watched with curiosity about what he would do next. He put out his one hand and moved into a position, one she quickly recognized to be one of the first stances taught in taijutsu class. Beside him, the child was quick to copy his move, not as smooth and steady on his feet. Gently, Gai corrected his position with a laugh, helping the child adjust his legs to stand just like he is supposed to. Once the child assumed the correct position, he let out a cheer of triumph, holding out his first for Gai to bump, a gesture the raven-haired boy gladly reciprocated.
Quite frankly, Ume had barely seen something as cute as that. From ear to ear she smiled at the scene, thinking of it as very adorable. What she had not seen coming, however, was the boy leaving as quickly as he came to ask Gai a question, clearing her path to approaching him.
This was her chance. At the mere prospect of that, her hands felt sweatier than they were before. Her blood was rushing in her ears, the sound of her heart pounding against her chest one of the only sounds she was able to hear. To say that she was nervous would not sum up the fit of emotions coursing through her correctly, or even come close to doing so. Subconsciously, she began gnawing on the inside of her cheeks, unable to stop herself from doing so. One word, she had to get out a single word to start the conversation, and then maybe, just maybe, it would go on all by itself. She could do this.
Jump over her own shadow, or whatever, one day, if she really wanted to have a new friend, she needed to take the risk and leap over her own fears.
With each step she took toward Gai, her stomach began to churn, feeling both upset and queasy. She might as well have thrown up, her breakfast coming up again, but Ume swallowed harshly in an attempt to keep herself as calm as she possibly could. One more breath and she reached out, lightly tapping his shoulder with her index finger.
“H-hello, Gai.” Ume squeaked out, her cheeks heating up.
A surprised look dawned upon Gai’s features, quickly morphing into one of joy. “If that isn’t Ume!” He almost shouted in recognition. “How can I help you?”
“I, uh-” This was going worse than imagined. Her fingers began pulling at the seam of her sweatshirt, pulling apart the threads hanging loosely. “I wanted to apologize for what happened a few weeks ago.”
It was humiliating to bring the incident up again, but Ume knew it was right of her to apologize to him properly for invading his privacy as she had done.
“Apologise?” Gai echoed. “Don’t worry about it, Ume! You have nothing to apologize for!”
That was unexpected. Her eyes widened almost dramatically, staring at him in doubt. “Are you sure?”
“As sure as I can be! There is nothing you have to apologize for,” He said, holding out a thumbs-up and flashing his signature smile to Ume. “It taught me to be prepared for all kinds of situations, as a Shinobi should be! I have to thank you for that!”
Her heartbeat increased significantly. “T-thank m-me?”
“Why yes, of course! You have shown me to be more aware of my surroundings! You managed to surprise me, I did not see your moves coming,” Gai said thoughtfully, his smile widening as he spoke his suggestion, “You must show them to me one day, maybe we can even fight!”
As though all red color had been wiped from her face, Ume’s skin turned ghostly white at the prospect. “F-fight?!” She didn’t want to even imagine fighting Gai! A shiver ran down her spine as she stared at him wide-eyed, hoping for his idea to be a mere joke.
“Yes! A fight between us two youthful spirits to learn from one another!”
"Maybe one day," Ume suggested, a lump forming in her throat. Or never, she'd prefer. "I would be happy to fight you!" A total lie again, but the excitement in his features was too genuine to ruin.
Gai's grin widened significantly at that. "I'd be happy to fight you, too!"
"I'm not-" that good of a Shinobi, she had meant to say. From behind her, came a voice however, putting a harsh stop to her sentence.
“Oh, sorry did I interrupt something here?” Genma looked apologetic despite the enigmatic twinkle in his eyes, his gaze flashing between Gai and Ume. He could see her smile drop into a frown as the girl took a step back, her hands moving to fiddle with the loose strands of her sweater again nervously.
Ume did not dare to look at either of them, growing more timid in the presence of the other boy. “No, it’s fine. You can talk. I’ll, uh, just leave.” She felt so out of place. Between the two friends, she felt like she did not belong, not at all.
Both of the older boys looked over at her, but it was Gai who spoke, his head tilted in curiosity. "What were you going to say?"
Her cheeks felt flaming hot. "Nothing of importance," She blurted out, taking several steps backward. "I'm just going to leave now. Goodbye!" Without giving either the chance to interject, Ume sprinted away, her hands pressed against her hot cheeks.
***
Nothing Ume planned to do ever happened as intended, it was a lesson she quickly learned following several other failed attempts to have a proper conversation with Gai.
And as if her situation could barely get much worse, her plan came to a sudden and dramatic halt the day on which the boy in question left the academy, graduating and becoming a Genin, part of his own team and subsequently, his own group of friends. Only once had she worked up the courage to speak to him, and that one time she did, she did not even befriend him. All of her efforts were in vain, so it felt to Ume. She had gone nowhere with the effort she had put into befriending him, nowhere close to even being a close acquaintance of his. Rather, she would remain someone whom he talked to several times, no one else but someone he knew from seeing them.
To put it simply, Ume had failed, she made no friend. She had lost her chance and that fact frustrated her greatly.
If she was honest with herself, she wasn’t even sure why exactly it was that important to her to befriend Gai. Maybe it was the unexpected kindness he showed to her, or his warm-hearted nature. To her, he seemed like a good friend, someone who everyone needed in their life, but not everyone was destined to have in their life. Whatever it was, Ume knew that even knowing him was something that made her lucky.
But would she be lucky enough to keep him in her life? Most likely not. There was no connection between them, save for the closet incident and the fact that his father was a loyal customer of her father. Otherwise, there was nothing for him to lose, if he even considered those things to be a loss.
Ume was quite melodramatic about this and as much as she didn't want to admit it, also dramatic. She should just admit her failure and move on, but instead of doing that, she continued on pining for a boy she doubted noticed her much.
Why would a guy like Gai notice her of all people anyway? Ume gnawed at her lip, it wasn’t as though there was anything special about her anyway, or so she thought. With his unlimited energy and kindness, she was sure Gai had plenty of friends to hang around with, someone, as reserved as herself, did not fit into his friend group, she was sure of it.
Especially since now he was part of his very own team with two talkative people and an as-much talkative sensei, there was no place for her in his life.
The harsh reality was, he probably didn’t need her. Tears stung in her eyes.
Crying over a boy? Momo would probably tell her how miserable that was, that she should wipe her tears away and stand up with a proud smile, that she could keep her head high. But Ume couldn’t and instead sniffled, wiping her nose with the back of her hand.
She felt so pathetic.
***
Ever since their little meeting in the closet, Fuyumi had decided to make it her mission to talk to Ume as much as possible. Why the Mōri girl had chosen her of all people, Ume couldn’t say. While their shared hatred for Mayumi was a strong contender for the reason, she couldn’t help but hope that the other girl maybe, just maybe, took a liking to her.
And wherever Fuyumi went, Anko followed. So, naturally, Ume was now more or less stuck with both of them.
“Hello, friend!” Anko always grinned when she sat down at her chosen seat, that was something Ume had quickly picked up on. In many ways, she had also noticed, the girl was quite similar to Gai, with an unspendable amount of energy and a positive aura to her.
At the word friend, Ume’s heart skipped a beat.
Friendly conversation, she could do this. “Hello, Anko. How are you today?”
If even possible, Anko’s grin grew wider. “I had the best dango ever for breakfast, Fuyumi’s mama, Chizue, made it for me.I swear, I had never eaten something like it and- wait, do you even know Chizue?”
Ume shook her head. She had never been invited to someone else’s home, nevertheless that of a friend (not that she would tell Anko that).
“What a shame, if you ask me! She’s the best cook ever. No one’s cooking compares to hers, it is heavenly, I could eat her food for forever and never stop,” Anko was practically foaming at the mouth as she spoke, a gleam of excitement shining in her bright eyes. “and even if it killed me, I would eat it gladly. It’s just that good.”
“I would enjoy mama’s food just as much if you wouldn’t inhale it all before I get the chance to,” Fuyumi sat herself down beside Anko, a faux frown sitting on her pale features. Her schoolbag landed on the floor with a loud thud, the girl not caring about that one bit. “I blink once and it’s all gone, like it was never there in the first place.”
Anko snorted. “That sound like a you problem if you ask me.”
“I bet Ume would share the food mama made for both of us,” Fuyumi said loudly, dragging the dark-haired girl into their conversation. “Isn’t that right, Ume?”
Under the piercing stares of both girls, Ume felt nervous. Her hand moved to play with the hem of her shirt, pulling at the loose threat as she thought about her answer. “I-I would share.”
“Ha! I was right!” With a teasing grin, Fuyumi nudged Anko. “See, I told you she’s too kind for her own good. Which reminds me,” With a glint in her blue eyes, she moved her attention to Ume. “I already told Anko earlier today, but, have you heard, some of the upper grades are training on the training ground together today?”
"Upper grades?" Ume repeated with furrowed brows.
"Gai's also going to bere there, I’ve been told." Fuyumi added with a small wink.
At that, Anko looked curios. Her gaze wandered between her friends, her brows furrowing at the sight of Ume’s bright red face, understanding sinking in.
“Are you going to be joining us, Ume? We wanted to watch them after class.”
After weeks of only seeing the boy whenever he accompanied his father to buy some honey from her family, this was her chance! If all went well, maybe she could befriend the overly kind boy today, she only had to make a move.
She could do this.
“I would love to,” Ume smiled. She could not only befriend Gai, but also spend some time with her newfound friends. Two birds with one stone, as her mother would say. “Thanks for asking me.”
Beside her, Anko almost seemed to shine as bright as the sun. “Don’t you know? The more, the merrier!”
Friends … Ume really liked the thought of that.
***
If anyone ever asked Ume to describe the way Maito Gai fights, she was sure that she couldn’t. There was something so delicate about the way he executed every single taijutsu move, a dance that only he could perform. Each step was calculated for the best outcome, his moves almost too quick for her eyes to follow. She could focus on the almost obnoxiously bright orange he wore on his legs to follow his movements, but even then could barely keep up with the speed the older boy possessed.
Taijutsu had always been something brutal to her, the power of the body and pure strength coming together to be used against an enemy. And yet, here was Gai, portraying the beauty that lay behind the art of the taijutsu, its delicateness and all the possibilities of the art that she had never seen before.
Suffice to say, Ume was deeply impressed by his level of skill, so much so that she was gaping at him as he fought against child prodigy Hatake Kakashi.
She was well aware of what it meant to be a Shinobi, but their skill, determination and mesmerizing fight only showed her how much she had left to learn. Unlike them, she was not a Genin yet, and their fight showed her exactly why they were on a whole other level.
In her ears, the yelling and cheers of Kakashi’s dedicated fan club of various of her classmates and Genin rang loudly, making it difficult to hear the kind of jutsu Hatake Kakashi was using. She doubted many of his self-proclaimed fans cared either from the things they were saying, but their opinions and interests were not for her to judge.
What was for her to judge, however, was what her two newfound friends were doing beside her. Against the yells and cheers of Kakashi’s fans they barely had a chance, but that did not seem to bother either of them as they booed loudly, cupping their hands around their mouths to increase the volume.
“What are you two doing?” Ume asked, staring at them with furrowed brows.
“Booing Kakashi of course,” Fuyumi said as though it were the most normal thing in the world. “Someone has to take his ego down a notch.”
While Ume was well aware that the white-haired girl harboured a certain dislike for the child prodigy, she did not know it went this far. Anko on the other hand appeared to be well aware of that, encouraging her friend by booing just as loudly.
Ume decided not to question their behaviour and to instead focus on the fight again.
Just as she had noticed before, Gai’s movements were majestic, that of someone who understood and lived the art of taijutsu. Passion was gleaming in his beautiful eyes and a bright grin on his face reflected his inner joy, sweat shining on his forehead. There was something admirable about the way he held himself upright, exhaustion most likely settling into his bones as he dodged an incoming attack from Kakashi.
It made her wonder why no one but his teammates were cheering him on. His skills were just as admirable as those of Kakashi, and yet, he was not receiving as much love and attention as his rival.
Against all her reservations, Ume began to cheer on the boy who was nothing but kind to her. Beyond her selfish wish to befriend him, he deserved to be recognized for his undeniable talent, so she could do at least that much and offer him all the support she could provide.
Enthusiastic as always, Anko encouraged her. “You go, Ume!”
She could feel several pairs of eyes on her, but Ume ignored them and kept going. Just this once, she could drown them out. “You can do this, Gai!”
For a moment, she swore that she saw his eyes flicker to look over at her, but maybe that was just her mind playing tricks on her. There was no reason for him to take his attention away from the fight, after all, when he was training to improve.
Ume didn’t think that it was possible, but both of the capable Genin’s speeds improved significantly, almost as though their last reserves were being used up. A final boost, as to say. They were mere blurs as they fought against one another, no doubt presenting a fight many had never seen before.
It was addictive to watch them fight, to put their heart and soul into their training, using different techniques to try to win. Ume wondered if she would ever be able to accomplish what the two boys before her were able to do, or if such a thing was out of reach for her. She wasn’t the best at any of the three main jutsu they were taught, but more so just average.
Kakashi and Gai, on the other hand, excelled with their talent. But no matter how talented the two of them were, one of them had to lose eventually. They couldn’t keep going on forever, even as the cheering increased and Ume’s throat felt sore, one of them had to lose.
The winner of this match ended up being Kakashi, much to Ume, Anko and Fuyumi’s dismay. The two latter audible groaned as the match was decided in favour of the child prodigy, while Ume stared ahead at Gai, taking in the way his excited appearance dropped for a split second. Before she could even process the way his lips tugged down, he wore a smile on his face again, congratulating Kakashi on his ‘marvellous win’.
Maybe there was more to Maito Gai than what met the eye.
Before she registered what she was doing, Ume walked toward Gai, her feet moving on her own accord, betraying her racing heart. She felt like a magnet being pulled toward another magnet, as though no matter where he was or what he was doing, she was instinctively moving toward him.
As she moved into his field of vision, Gai’s face noticeably lit up. “Ume! It’s good to see you!”
She swallowed harshly, her hands feeling sweaty as she wiped them against her pants. “G-gai! It’s good to see you too!” Stupid. Could she have said anything more idiotic if she tried? Could Ume slap herself right now, she most certainly would. “You fought well. I, uh, liked seeing you fight. It was pretty cool.”
Three sentences without stuttering, she was making progress.
Gai’s grin was almost blinding as he thanked her. “I did my best against my eternal rival, but I have to improve in order to beat him one day,” He held up his thumb toward her, an action that seemed effortless performed by him. “Thank you for your support!”
Ume’s face felt hot. “N-no problem. I wasn’t sure if you could hear me over the others yelling, but …” She could do this. She could ignore the rapid pace of her heart and speak the words she wanted to, speak the encouragement she hoped he would take notice of. “I’m happy you did.”
His hand moved to pat her on the shoulder and Ume swore that right then and there, she could have fainted and been the happiest kunoichi around.
Had it not been for his teammates coming over to interrupt their conversation yet again. Generally, Ume was a calm person who did not easily hold a grudge, but the talent of interruption Shiranui Genma possessed was almost despicable.
So, Ume did what she knew best to do: avoid confrontation. Like dog tuggings its tail away, she politely bid her goodbye to Gai, offering him a smile she hoped appeared kind before turning around to return to her friends. She ignored the way his smile faltered as she turned and the way he breathed in as though to say something, convincing herself that she was just imagining things.
If she only were more social like her sister Momo, and less like, well, herself, then she wouldn’t stand in her own way.
It didn’t help that Fuyumi wiggled her eyebrows at her. “And, how did talking to Gai go?”
Ume felt sick to her stomach at the sight of Anko’s expectant look. “It went okay. I don’t think I made much of an impression.” If she even made any impression, she thought.
Momo would have made an impression by now, because that was who she was. A formidable kunoichi and outgoing person, the opposite of who Ume was and exactly the person Ume strove to be.
Gently, Anko nudged Ume, a reassuring smile playing on her lips. “Cheer up, buttercup. Next time, it will go better. You’re too pretty to look this upset.”
Ume could only hope it would. But hope was a feeble thing she was clinging onto. She was determined to somehow bring her message across, that she would like to be his friend, that she thinks that he is a great person to whom she wanted to be closer. Whether it was through words verbally spoken, or written down on paper, Ume knew it wouldn’t be easy to express herself in such an open way, especially since she had never done such a thing before.
The only solution she was able to come to was to write a letter to him, telling him all the things she wasn’t able to tell him in person due to her nerves, the words that got tied on her tongue. The plan was basically foolproof, as Fuyumi had told her, unable to be ruined by any circumstance, meaning that if everything went right, Ume would have a new friend soon enough, or so she desperately hoped.
“If you don’t try it, you’ll never know,” Fuyumi remarked upon seeing the doubt flash across Ume’s face. “Give it a chance at least.”
Back at home, Ume came to the conclusion that at nine years old, it couldn’t be that difficult to make friends, she could do this. Writing a letter in which she clearly expressed her feelings, on the other hand, was a task that brought her quite the headache. Proven by the several pieces of paper lay beside and inside her trash can, it took more than just multiple tries for her letter to be started correctly. Several times she adjusted her position by her desk, moved her pink chair around to began writing from several angles, and even adjusted her lamp in hopes of achieving better results.
And still, nothing was working as she intended for it to.
The first problem arose with how Ume shall start the letter, with what kind of greeting she chose to begin it. Was using ‘dear’ appropriate? Or how about ‘hello’, wasn’t it too informal, too casual for the chosen topic? She could leave out a greeting and just get straight to the point, leave out any kind of deco in the letter, but that felt rather rude to Ume.
Dear Gai,
It was a start, not an ideal one, but it gave Ume just enough hope to continue on with her letter.
I hope that you are doing alright.
Ume immediately scrapped that part of the letter. Kami, it was too casual, her acting as though they were friends already! She needed to rethink her the beginning, and yet, her thoughts were completely blank.
I have to tell you something.
Was that too straightforward? Probably.
I'm not the best at expressing myself when talking to others, so I hope you don't mind me writing you a letter.
While it wasn't the perfect beginning, it was significantly better than the previous ones.
I think that you are a nice person and I would like to be your friend. Nice probably underestimates what I think, you are very kind and have a good heart, which is why I want to maybe be your friend if that's alright with you. You don't have to be my friend, of course, if you don't want to! That's entirely understandable, you don't know me that well and I did pull you into a closet once without asking first. I'm very sorry about that, but I do hope you can forgive for that again and become my friend? Again! Your decision, not mine!
Even in her writing alone, it was painfully obvious how nervous she was about befriending the boy. From how her nerves were building up, Ume felt like any moment she might explode.
Don't feel stressed with your answer.
That would be good to mention as it was the direct opposite of what she wanted to achieve.
Loads of love
No! That was way too informal, again, not a great way to end her letter.
Best wishes
Much better. Again, not ideal, but her brain did not allow her to come up with anything else at that moment.
Hiramatsu Ume.
At least when signing her name she did not have to overthink her decision. She let out a sigh of relief, leaning back against her chair.
The letter was done, finally. All she needed to do now was hand it over to him, but that couldn't be all too difficult… right?
***
As it turned out, it indeed could be. Ignoring the obvious hurdle, her painful timidness, her lack of social skills did not help her deliver the letter either. It wasn't even like she could throw it into his mailbox as she did not know where he lived and found it to be quite creepy to go ahead and ask somebody for his address.
So Ume had to wait, wait until she not only saw Gai again, but also for a point of time at which she had the letter with her too. Should she carry the letter with her at all times and risk it getting ruined? Ume thought that was a little too dangerous, especially considering she could drop it at any moment, lose it and be publicly embarrassed in case anyone finds it. Too risky, she decided.
“If you ask me, you should just give it to him,” Anko told her during class. “Gai doesn’t have a mean bone in his body, nothing bad could happen.”
Fuyumi was quick to agree. “It’s Gai we’re talking about here. He wouldn’t say something hurtful to you on purpose.”
Ume was well aware that they were right, Gai wasn’t the type of person to be insulting to someone else, and yet, her nerves were gnawing at her. She worried that soon enough she would chicken out, but just to her luck, an opportunity approached sooner than she anticipated.
The lucky day started off with dark clouds covering the usually bright sky and casting a large shadow over Konoha. The temperature had dropped significantly by then and rain fell from the sky, sending several shivers down her spine as she ran after the boy.
Mere minutes before, Gai had come by to acquire some honey in the stead of his father, who was occupied elsewhere that day. With a large smile and a friendly wave, the kind boy greeted her before telling her father how much of their honey he wanted to buy.
Ume, meanwhile, had taken the chance and slipped off of her chair in the back and sprinted right out of the cabin and all the way to her home. In what she considered to be record time, she ran up all the way to her room and to the cupboard where she hid the letter, grasping it before hastily running down the stairs and right out the door. She tucked the letter underneath her sweater so it wouldn’t get soaked. From the distance already she could see Gai depart, a bag with honey in his hand.
"Shit!" She cursed under her breath and picked up her speed to run after the boy, ignoring how the rain was beginning to soak her clothes. How Gai endured the way without an umbrella was beyond her, a thought was soon forgotten as she almost slipped on the mud beneath her feet.
“Gai! Wait!” She yelled out, hoping that he would hear her and come to a stop. He was a quick walker, and in the rain, she couldn’t keep up without slipping on the mud.
Gai’s eyebrows furrowed as he turned around, the boy cocking his head as he looked at her. “Ume?”
For a kunoichi, she felt unbelievably slow as she ran toward him. “I have something for you.”
He blinked, confused. “Something for me? Did I forget something-”
“No!” Ume interjected. “You didn’t- I-” Her heart was beating against her chest, her nerves making her feel nauseous. “I wanted to give you something.” With her hands shaking, Ume pulled the letter out from underneath her sweater, doing her best to shield it from the rain.
Gai stood speechless before her, a sight she had yet to see. He took a step to move toward her, his eyes moving from her face down to look at the letter in the light green envelope she had specifically chosen for him. He could see the delicate writing in which his name was written and the little drawing of flowers, many lotus specifically, surrounding it.
Shakily, Ume held the letter out to the boy, ignoring how raindrops fall onto the envelope, soaking it. All she could focus on was his hand moving toward hers, and almost hesitantly, reaching out. Just as his finger got a hold it, thunder roared loudly in the distance and made both of them jump, the moment of serenity broken between them.
In the space between them, the letter fell down onto the ground, landing right in a puddle Ume had been careful not to step into. Her heart sank all the way into her stomach, tears beginning to decorate her eyes as she stared at the letter soaking up all the puddle water and mud, the beautiful green now stained brown.
Gai looked over at her, noticing the disappointment painted across her face. “Ume. I’m sorry.”
She could see the ink bleeding into the mud, the paper falling apart as it became soggy. Her work and efforts spent, all were gone within a minute as she only stared and stared, hoping that this was some sickening nightmare she could wake up from.
It wasn’t.
Ume sniffled loudly, her lip wobbling. It was all for nothing, why had she even been trying? She was such an idiot.
“Ume,” Gai reached out to place his hand on her shoulder, but Ume took a step back, almost slipping in the mud again. Her cheeks burned red, she felt humiliated. “I’m-”
She held up her hand and swallowed harshly, “It was nothing, Gai.” Disappointment crawled up her throat, threatening to swallow her up whole.
All for nothing. She was a failure.
Gai couldn’t get another word in as Ume turned around and sprinted away from the upset boy, ignoring how he was frowning at her, his hair soaked and rain falling down his cheeks. His lips were parted by words that never came out as he watched her figure move away, his hand remaining where her shoulder had been mere moments ago.
Had Ume dared to look back at least once, she would have seen that Gai’s expression of gloom mirrored her own.
***
Tears stung in her eyes, rolling down her cheeks as Ume let out a wrecked sob. She hurried up the steps of her home, ignoring the way mud clung to her clothes even after she took off her shoes and soaked jacket.
Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. They weren’t meant to be friends, Ume knew that now. The thought had been stuck to the back of her mind all this time, bugging her, and she had pushed it away time and time again, denying the truth behind it for the sake of her hopeful heart. It ended up ringing true, tearing at the strings of her heart until the pain in her chest became unbearable, the reality of the situation settling into her heart.
Not even the universe was on her side.
Her feet carried her all the way over to her older sister’s room, and Ume barged in without even thinking about knocking first. Momo jumped up in surprise, letting out an exasperated shout. She was ready to scold her sister for bringing all this mud into her room, but before she did, her eyes fell on the hunched-up figure of Ume rushing toward her.
Momo could barely wrap her arms around the trembling figure of her younger sister before Ume broke out into sobs, tightly holding onto the fabric of Momo’s shirt.
“I’m such an idiot!” Ume sobbed loudly, her words coming out muffled. “Of course, he wouldn’t want to be my friend, I’m so stupid.”
“What happened?” Momo asked, gently running her hand up and down Ume’s back.
“I was so foolish! I thought we could be friends, but I was wrong!” Ume sobbed, her tears soaking Momo’s shirt, not that the older girl would scold her for that right now. “I just- I just wanted to be friends and I messed it all up.”
“I told you already, if he doesn’t want to be your friend, then he’s the idiot, not you,” Momo said, pressing a kiss to the wet crown of Ume’s hair. “You hear me?”
If only her older sister’s words rang true.