Chapter Text
Morning peeks through his window, a soft warmth but it is unwelcome. Kiyotaka wants to sleep until he feels better. Ieiri-san had called him.
He'd fallen asleep in his chair, the night long and his sleep shorter. But everyone was safe by the time he'd looked at the distance from his chair to his bed and decided to risk it. When Ieiri called, his phone was an arm stretch away.
They spoke, but just about work. And why he hadn't come to her office for two mornings in a row. Kiyotaka only had an explanation for one morning, this one. For the other, his hand pulled at the hem of his nightshirt, the cotton thick between his fingers. He couldn't lie to her voice, not even now, when her attention made his heart a flighty thing. But he couldn't say the truth either.
"Ah well," she said to his silence, "I am not your mother, you don't have to explain yourself to me. It was just odd, especially with no explanation."
"My apologies," he said, rooting out his voice from somewhere. The heaviness at the centre of him was hollow, like a ball that had been caved in. It wasn't right to still feel this way, light in his toes, when Ieiri had made a decision for someone else. For Nanami-san.
She'd made a dismissive noise about the apology and Kiyotaka imagined her briefly uncurling her fingers from her hair to wave his apology away, her fingers slender, nails neatly done.
He squeezed his eyes shut against the image and pinched the bridge of his nose, a sigh leaving him.
"What is it?"
"Nothing. Nothing."
"Okay," she didn't sound like she believed him.
"I am rather tired, Ieiri- san."
"That's ok, but before you go, Satoru found a new drinking spot that serves ramen. You should come along this evening. I might even be able to drag Nanami there."
There was a smile at the end of that sentence, Kiyotaka heard it as clearly as he felt his own lips form one when he had the chance to speak about Ieiri.
"I may not be able to join you this evening."
"Is that a definite not?"
"I ... do not know."
She doesn't say anything for a bit. "If you make a decision, let me know."
"Of course."
"Have a good day."
"You too," left him like a ghost through a window. The call ended.
The weight of their conversation remained like an uncooperative blanket one got tired of fighting with mid-sleep, what was once comforting now felt maladjusted and awkward. Kiyotaka had to get rid of this one way or the other, excise his feelings for Ieiri-san without affecting their friendship. Just turn his heart a little bit away. Not the whole way.
The glass thin bridge between his selves was cracked. He looked at it, mourned its absence even while it still remained. He briefly wondered what Nanami would think.
A lot of sorcerers here depend on you
He brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around himself.
If it was anyone else in Tokyo
The bridge was still there. Kiyotaka took a deep breath and turned from it. By tomorrow it might shatter further still. By tomorrow it might be sturdier than ever.
Either way, Kiyotaka was still Kiyotaka.