Chapter Text
Stanley could admit, he was growing quite fond of his new job at the library, just a week ago he’d have considered it detrimental to his already burnt out state. Of course he would enjoy it a ton more if his office job wasn’t there, but at least he found something to look forward to again. It barely even felt like work sometimes, because he was just doing something he’d always loved to do; organising. Putting books back where they belonged, telling people where things are, cleaning up and dusting shelves… it was everything he could’ve hoped to do.
But it was still work regardless and he couldn’t always get to choose what he would be doing each day, his least favorite place had to be the front desk. That’s where he was placed today, and needless to say, Stanley was struggling.
For some reason talking to anyone for more than a few minutes at a time always got his heart beating right out of his chest, even worse when people were unpredictable. He hadn’t quite learned what to do in every possible scenario. It had only been a matter of time until Nathan officially noticed just how badly he sucked at it. Double that with the fact he’d been overly tired and irritable pretty much the whole day already, and you’ve got yourself a very stressed out office worker.
The older was standing right next to him as Stanley tampered around with all the papers and mechanical things splayed across the table. Barely getting any work done. But Nathan could see that it wasn’t that he didn’t want to learn; this just wasn’t his type of work. He supposed maybe if he could be there to help it might get better, but he was slowly proven wrong. Just by the way he was frantically looking around for anything to help, getting more and more anxious, biting his nails and clicking around on the computer aimlessly.
Nathan would nod approvingly at things his coworker did right, but it seemed to only lead to him spiralling further. People were starting to give him weird looks and usher away as soon as they were done returning their books. The librarian could only grimace as things were beginning to get out of hand. Stanley, for all it’s worth, actually was quite good at communicating without his voice, even if most visitors didn’t know sign language. It was odd watching him struggle despite the fact.
At some point he had pulled him aside and lead him through the halls, passing miss Webb and Mariella as they explained something to a costumer. “Miss Fox. Front desk, I’ve got something to take care of.”
The woman stared at them in utter confusion as they slipped past him, but she did as she was told. Stanley only watched her speed walk away as fast as she could, ponytail bouncing up and down in her jumpy trot. A lump steadily forming in his throat at the situation he’d found himself in, did he do something wrong? Who was he kidding, he hadn’t managed to fulfill his job at the counter whatsoever, of course he was in trouble.
When they finally arrived, Nathan sat him down and made sure to close the door tightly behind them both.
“Listen, Hawkins. I understand you may have some issues with today’s schedule,”
Oh god what was he going to do?
“It seems this type of work is causing you a lot of stress, so I would- Hawkins?” He’d stopped talking when he noticed the newbie trembling, eyes glassy and fixed at one spot somewhere else in the small room, Nathan retreated a little to give him space to breathe. Not quite knowing what was going on.
Stanley’s vision got gradually more blurry as his mind raced and blanked at the same time, he didn’t even know why something so small caused him to have this big reaction. And now that he noticed the harsh light above him flickering ever so slightly, the office worker had to hold his head in his hands to stop it from pounding. The buzzing noise having tripled in intensity in his head.
It was only when a gentle hand came into view that he started focussing on the man in front of him. The hand didn’t touch him, just waved very slowly to catch his attention. He still flinched regardless.
“Hey Stanley… do you want to be left alone right now?”
He shook his head in a jerking motion and pointed upwards, eyes watering even more when the bright dot of light burnt its way into his vision. However it was soon much less irritating when he saw the room shift from bright and loud, to dim and silent. The other man had gone to turn it off, only to return and sit down on the floor in front of him, to stay in his vicinity and make sure he knew he was still with him.
The darkness didn’t immediately fix everything, but he did feel a lot less like his head was splitting in two, wanting to rip his skin off as it crawled with electricity.
“You know Stanley, you’ve been doing really good work since you joined the team last week. I’m not sure what happened just now, but I’m willing to help find a solution. Was it the busy counter?”
Another quick head shake, that was part of it, but he’d been incredibly overstimulated all day, it just tipped him over the edge.
With all the willpower he could muster, Stanley lifted his lightly shaking hands to sign: [I’m sorry.]
His coworker quirked a brow at him and shifted his position on the floor to a more upright one.
“You have nothing to apologise for, Stanley.”
Stanley’s body visibly stopped trembling as he heard his name a second time, something about it grounded him more than anything else. The five senses thing only served to make him more aware of everything that was making him want to bash his head through a wall, this was a different type of grounding. It made him focus on something that wasn’t the room, or his headache. It was strange though, usually people talking to him worsened his state.
Perhaps it was just different when someone didn’t say it just to “snap him out of it”, which never really worked. So far people had only really wanted him to stop being a baby and man up, it wasn’t okay to just let it happen.
[Say it again.]
Stanley knew he was pushing it, the kindness of his coworker presumably only went so far, knowing how grumpy he could be. Why would he waste even more of his time pandering to his wishes? But when he looked up, the only thing he saw in Nathan’s expression, was pure worry and care. A soft and reassuring smile on his lips.
“Which part, Stanley?”
Hesitantly the office worker pointed towards himself and pulled his legs closer towards him to bury his face in embarrassment. It was slowly getting better, but it still mattered to him for some reason.
[That part.]
Peeking ever so subtly through the little crack of light between his legs to study his coworkers face, he was taken aback when he was met with a warm chuckle and then a pause. Fondness growing deep thorny roots inside his chest, maybe this old goob wasn’t so bad.
Nathan scooted a little closer when he was sure it was okay to do so, and said “Stanley.” in a tone that was dripping with something he couldn’t describe, almost… affectionate.
No, that was impossible. He’d only met him just a few weeks ago, why would he care that much? Nonsense.
And yet Stanley still found himself loving the softness of it, as tired as he was now, and as much as he would like to just fall asleep now after all this, he would stay awake to hear it. At some point however, the office worker could feel himself slipping away as he leaned against the lockers behind him, growing weaker until the darkness of his mind consumed him.
-
When Stanley awoke, he was disoriented. Finding himself curled up on the ground, with a bag under his still aching head, it felt as though he hadn’t slept at all. A dark brown cloth hanging over him reminded him that he probably didn’t roll over all by himself. It smelled like Nathan, he didn’t know when he had picked up his scent, but it was nice. Sort of flowery, but not in a grandma way. More like how you would expect a field of dandelions to smell, with a hint of cinnamon. Oh, and new book smell? Hm…
Odd, he thought, he shouldn’t be sniffing his coworkers coat like that. What was he, a creep? Stanley huffed in annoyance at himself.
Slowly he began building himself up bit by bit, stacking his limbs painfully until he was standing. As wobbly as he felt, it was a start. When he made his way towards the door to check on his other colleagues, he was shocked to be met with a swing that almost planted the wooden door in his face. Stanley reeled backwards like a puppet that had its strings cut, and fell straight on his ass.
Mariella stood there, eyes wide in realisation that she’d almost flung the heavy door into her friend’s head, and quickly hurried to help the guy up to his feet. He quickly thanked her, but noted that he had to hold onto the wall next to him for support.
“Oh goodness, Stanley are you alright?” A more familiar voice shot through Mariella and revealed itself to be Nathan, as he stepped through the doorway to greet him.
Not knowing how to react, Stanley finger gunned at his older coworker, who only glared back at him with visible concern. He didn’t understand why, but Stanley was feeling more drained than he had been in at least a few weeks, he could barely stand on his own two feet.
Stupid jelly legs…
Only barely noticing both his coworkers giving eachother a weird look he couldn’t decipher, he decided it would be best to simply not say or do anything further. And after a long stretch of awkward silence, Nathan finally spoke up:”My coat, Stanley. Unless you need it I would like to have it back.”
Oh. Stanley noted that he did in fact still have the coat loosely draped over him. Very reluctantly he handed it over, no point in holding onto it, it was just a piece of expensive fabric…
The rest of the evening was more than quiet. Mariella and Nathan cleaning up while Stanley was made to sit on a chair and wait for them to finish up, turning off all the lights, getting their things, so on. It was the same routine as always, except for the office worker desperately trying to be helpful and failing due to him stumbling all over himself every time he attempted to walk alone, his eyes refusing to cooperate with him as they fell shut on multiple occasions.
Only when Nathan and Mariella had to physically manhandle him out the front door did it actually dawn on him; how on earth would he be able to drive home? Stanley began to subtly sweat in panic, and both of his coworkers seemed to catch onto the issue fast. What would he do? He couldn’t just crash at the library could he? As comfortable as some of the couches were, ms. Webb would surely be confused, at the very least. No, he had to drive home by himself. It was his only option.
Mariella was the first to speak up as they awkwardly stood in front of Stanley’s car:”Uh… what do we do now? I would drive him home but..” she took a glance at Nathan, and with a long winded sigh, he caught onto the fact that the only person with a car license here, was Stanley.
The office worker in question didn’t seem to process anything the others said, and shakily unlocked his car, almost falling over in the process.
“Nope, you know what. I’m taking him home with me. Look at him, he’s gonna get himself killed.” Stanley’s keys dropped out of his hands at Nathans mention of his impending doom, and scrambled to the dirty floor to pick them back up. Before he could get up off the ground himself, he could feel his arm being grabbed to pull him to his feet.
“You sure Nathan? I can take it from here, my bike isn’t the sturdiest but..-“
She was cut off by Nathan;”Yes, I do not trust your bike will hold the both of you. Besides do you really think Stanley can hold himself steady like.. like this?” The man waved his hand demonstrably in his direction, as if to prove something.
Stanley perked at the mention of his name and clumsily whirled around to wave at his friends… who were standing directly by his side.
If he could call them that.
“Well… if you’re sure. But let me know if there’s anything I can help with. You have my number.” And with that, Mariella waved them goodbye and went to undo her bike lock.
Taking a look back at Stanley, Nathan knew he would somehow regret this. Honestly what was he thinking? Taking in a coworker like that, they should’ve called a taxi. But alas, Mariella was counting on him now, she’d be upset if he left the guy in the hands of a stranger now. Especially in the state he was in.
Meanwhile the office worker had only listened to half the conversation, and all he got out of it was that he wouldn’t have to spend the night in his own apartment. Definitely a win in his book.
He only barely paid any attention to the grumbling older man as he was dragged through the neighborhood, slowly zoning out. Somewhat being able to tell his friend was audibly struggling not to have him bump into any street lamps or garbage bins…
Only when they were about to open the front door to an apartment unfamiliar to him, did Stanley actually start putting the pieces together. How did he not realise sooner? Chalk that up to his semi-conscious state, he supposed. That was Nathan’s home, no doubts about it.
Suddenly very aware of his existence, the newbie started actually paying attention to his surroundings. He didn’t want to snoop around, but he felt a strange urge to drink in whatever he could see of the place.
It all looked pretty standard from the outside, just a bigger house with two seperate front doors, indicating another person living directly next to Nathan. A dusty yellow doormat lying flush on the ground at the door, it read “welcome home” in cursive. How oddly fitting for him to have one of these in particular.
“Ah, apologies Stanley. I didn’t know anyone would come over today, or else I would have prepared better dinner beforehand... I’ll get you something quick.” The older man seemed to be struggling with his keys as he mumbled something under his breath, the whispers sounded harsh but Stanley hoped it wasn’t anything directed towards him in some way.
Maybe he should’ve just sucked it up and drove home on his own, sure the possibility of a crash would be higher due to him being absolutely drained out of his mind, but was it really worse than reversing all the progress he made with Nathan? Hardly so.
Still he was really grateful to be offered a stay like this, even if his mind was foggy and barely functioning, he could still appreciate the gesture.
When Nathan finally got the door to open, a very dark room greeted them from the inside, only revealing itself when he flipped the light switch and the beaming yellow almost blinded the poor office worker in his tracks. Stanley let out a pained wheeze and all but fell backwards into a wall. Holding his throbbing head, he rapidly clung at his hair with a death grip.
Almost immediately the light disappeared, replaced by the same darkness it’d been subjected to before. Apologetic grumbles were heard from across the room and then shuffling when Stanley was greeted with a much friendlier small orange light from the far corner, away from him.
“Oh my goodness Stanley, that was not intentional, i just-….” More panicked steps pacing around the carpeted floor, the crouching office worker was really starting to think the world had it out for him today. Hopefully tomorrow would be better…
When he finally peeked up from his awkward position on the ground, Nathan was nowhere to be found. Anxiety laced itself around Stanley almost instantly as he scrambled to his feet and stumbled forward to catch himself from falling. Where was he? Nathan couldn’t have left him all alone, right? Was he angry?
Whatever part of his conscience that was, it bothered him deeply. Why should he have to worry about what that old hag thought of him? The office worker huffed in annoyance as he felt himself slumping back a little, letting himself get just a tiny bit comfortable. This was okay.
Slowly focusing his attention back on his surroundings, Stanley noted how cozy the place was; books upon books tucked away in tall shelves, papers that had been scribbled and doodled on coated the walls. A few paintings of… was that a dragon? He snorted at his nerdy friend’s taste in decoration, knowing him this might’ve just been a DnD reference. When his eyes wandered further along the room, they stopped at a brown tea mug standing atop a desk in the corner. A little silver garbage bin filled to the brim with crumpled up papers and sticky notes.
Yet the thing that resonated with him the most in this room, was a little stuffed bird just sitting there on his cozy looking couch. Which bird was it? He couldn’t tell, it looked brown and was more pear shaped than bird shaped, its beak long and curved slightly downwards. It’s body had seemingly no wings, but that could just be a style choice.
So fuzzy…
When Nathan returned from the bathroom he found the other man curled up against a wall, his heart sank for a moment until he noticed Stanley very lightly snore. An all too quiet sound that he wouldn’t have noticed, had he just kept walking. Carefully, as to not wake him up, Nathan knelt down to inspect his… friend? His friend. Yeah.
It was strange seeing him like that, only really moving to take in one silent breath after the other, peaceful and yet just not quite the man he knew from work. Honestly it should’ve been a nice change of pace, seeing as he’d thought of Stanley only as annoying and uncooperative towards him. It should’ve been a relief.
But it wasn’t. Not right now.
He hummed an anxious tune under his breath as he started setting up the couch for him to rest on for the night, a million different thoughts running through his head. Maybe he should’ve let Mariella handle him, or called an uber. No that wasn’t an option, and he already knew that perfectly well. Having another person in his apartment was just so strange to him, Nathan hadn’t really invited anybody to stay over in years, unless he could call Mariella inviting herself over to steal supplies an invitation on his end. But no, this was different.
He hated it.
This awful feeling resting in his gut everytime he glimpsed over to an unconscious Stanley, still and in a fetal position, but breathing. Clothes all filthy from crying and sleeping on the locker room floor.
When he was done setting up the sofa bed as best he could, crawling over the edges to wipe down any flaws in the sheet that he could find, he finally got to his last question of the day. How in heavens name was he going to get Stanley to lay on it? Waking him up wasn’t an option, so he opted to possibly the worst thing he could do: testing his nonexistent strength.
He wouldn’t say Stanley was too heavy by any means, Nathan was simply very out of shape. When he slowly slipped his arms under the limp body, Nathan visibly cringed at the sound of an arm falling onto the carpet floor.
Oh for crying out loud, he was going to give Stanley a very stern talking to about his probably terrible sleep schedule when he woke up, how did he manage to get this tired? He couldn’t help an embarrassingly high yelp from slipping out, when the body he was trying desperately to lift, stirred awake. Sleepy brown eyes glancing up at the figure hovering above.
Nathan took the last few awkward steps to the couch and quickly set him down, ushering himself a few feet away for good measure. Only looking over to catch a few sloppy hand signs; [You’re still here.]
The librarian managed to calm his breath just enough to give a response. “Yes, Stanley. Where would I have disappeared to?”
There were a few moments of dead silence, and Nathan almost thought he’d gone back to sleep, but then the hands lifted again.
[Nathan, can you stay with me for the night?]
A strange request that the older would’ve promptly declined, had it not been for the urgency in the way his hands seemed to get faster while signing, and his eyes staring right into his. He shouldn’t. They’ve met just a short while ago, this was clearly a breach in what he should be okay with. And yet he stilled.
“I… Stanley. Can’t you sleep by yourself? Oh come on, don’t be a child.”
This wasn’t what he wanted to say. Nathan knew the words didn’t come out right, but what else could he even tell the guy? He should’ve just left it there.
At this point, Stanley had broken eyecontact, instead focusing on something else. It was the window, a full moon glowing in the distance. Of course, he mused, his friend would get distracted by something pretty like this.
“Yes yes, the moon is very beautiful indeed. Now did you need anything else or will that be all? Be quick.”
For just a moment, there was something off in the way Stanley’s brows furrowed. It seemed like he was looking for something in Nathan’s expression, only to be met with a confused shrug. He wouldn’t question it.
[Stay? Please.]
At this point the librarian was getting uncomfortable, this was already a situation he couldn’t exactly process on the spot. If Stanley noticed how terrifyingly weak he felt, he didn’t tell. Nathan slowly shrunk in on himself. Why couldn’t he just answer? This was pathetic, he couldn’t just say what he wanted to say. A painful lump forming in his throat when he tried to voice it. He swallowed thickly.
With shaking hands, he opted to signing instead.
[Okay Stanley.]
He felt like bugs were crawling underneath his skin, the internal turmoil almost eating him alive when he gently sat down next to Stanley. But when he wanted to lay down, he was stopped by two flailing arms pushing him back.
[Nathan what’s wrong? Was it something I said?]
Was something wrong? Yes, probably. He hadn’t even noticed how harshly he was gripping at his dress shirt, painfully biting the skin in his mouth and positioned away from the man laying on his couch. It was stupid, why did he feel so compelled to do what Stanley wanted him to do, but also hated everything about the situation. Not because he didn’t like Stanley as a person but… he didn’t even know.
[did I pressure you to do something you didn’t actually want to do?]
That question surprised him. Did his friend understand how he felt in the depths of his gut? How absurd, and yet it was so oddly fitting for his personality. Nathan’s gaze hit the floor, guilty for whatever reason.
He’d simply denied his coworker one request, why did he feel like… like this? Usually he was pretty good at keeping people at arms length and reinforcing his boundaries. Raising his head to once again meet Stanley’s gaze, he found he’d gained a new strange appreciation for the man. He carefully nodded at the question.
Stanley sat up on the warmed sheet and folded his legs in a way that looked just a little painful, giving him a warm and tired smile when he signed: [I’m sorry. You don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, I should’ve clarified.]
There was no hint of malice in his expression, and Nathan felt himself ease up just enough to speak up again. “I see. Well you aren’t a child, Stanley…”
He genuinely didn’t know what else to say, but it seemed to be enough by the way Stanley was looking at him. When he finally got up from his seat on the couch, he promptly slumped his shoulders in exhaustion. Maybe he just hadn’t heard it, but Stanley was already fast asleep and snoring, possibly having grabbed the weird fuzzy bird plushie Nathan held very dearly, to sleep with it in his arms.
Nathan turned off the small living room lamp.