Chapter Text
Little camdrones swirled around us, one hovering in front of my eyes for endless moments. I eyed the little device in distrust and gripped Darovit´s hoverchair harder. Our group was crossing through the corridors of the spacedock to another, smaller ship that would touch down to the Temple from orbit. The whole surroundings were reminiscent of an airport, although all the storefronts we came by were abandoned and boarded up. A single officer checked something on a notepad, then waved us through. We were the only passengers.
When the transporter started, I caught the first glimpse of the capital. Seen from space, Coruscant glittered in multiple colors, like a vessel system stretching across the surface. Overall, oddly beautiful from a distance. Strapped into the seat properly, hands clasped around the belts, the trip thankfully was so smooth it felt unreal.
I wondered if anyone else felt slightly uncomfortable. There was this pressure all around, which only grew louder the lower we dropped. Soon, the tips of the highest buildings towered over us. I felt like everything was encroaching on me, even though there was plenty of space. Everything seemed ridiculously huge and unreal.
My inner fangirl still squealed when we caught sight of the Jedi Temple. It looked just like in the movies, and was a lot huger than I had ever imagined.
The ship reached its destination, another non-descriptive hangar, in the dim light of early morning. I will never be able to remember the way. After leaving the utilitarian area, our group passed mosaics, a Hall full of columns, what seemed like a mess and uncountable doors. At our pace, there was hardly any time to peek around corners and into open doors. Regardless of the slight headache, my jittery excitement had yet to fade. We even came by a garden receiving daylight through windows in the ceiling a couple floor above. The first signs of natural live since Ruusan.
We finally entered a set of rooms with two dormitories and lavatories and a big common area. All of it had a warm, tranquil color scheme. A window allowed us to watch the local traffic speed by.
My head was pounding by now and I could hardly hear myself think over all that white noise. I did not get our new handlers name, nor his instructions how routines were going to work from now on. And all that when I hate to be left swimming in uncertainty.
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I found myself in the pilot seat of a small ship. Some lights were flashing right in front of me, and I did not understand how the controls worked. Strewn around the cockpit lay packages of premade food. Some leftovers already started to spoil, and I crinkled my nose at the vague sickening smell in the air. Other than the hum of life support, everything was eerily silent. My gut feeling told me that I was the only living being on this transport, which did not help my paranoia.
All the water bottles around were completely empty. I somehow knew I did not want to leave the cockpit, but I was desperately thirsty. Once the door to the rest of the spacecraft opened, that smell hit me full force. I recognized the odor of dead bodies, but it was so much worse in closed quarters. Hastily turning around, I saw multiple lumps lying in the freight section. At least one of them seemed barely bigger than me.
The smell still stuck in my nose, I stumbled to the fresher and just made it before emptying my stomach. An icky taste remained.
I washed my face and observed myself in the mirror. The girl that stared back had definitely lost weight. Blue eyes looked huge and a little startled, prominent bags visible. Her blond hair had been cut back to uniform length, too short to tug it behind the ears or even curl. Loose clothes in dulled hues made me look tinier and more innocent.
I tarried returning to bed, because I felt like I would be back in the same place as soon as I fell asleep. Tossing and turning in the unfamiliar room, I tried to distract my thoughts from straying to memories I wanted to keep buried. No matter what I tried to think about, it was tainted by the queasy feeling of fear in my stomach, and my mind always circled back. Not only to my nightmare, but to the hours spent right next to a rapidly cooling body after the airstrike.
Yet, at some point, exhaustion must have finally won.
Bureaucracy and evaluations to judge what level we were at in different areas took up most of our first week. The questionnaire we completed the first morning seemed pretty standard.
Full name, Date of birth, Homeplanet, Species…
Medical History – uneventful, this time. I mentioned small injuries like the scar on my right hand, just in case.
…..
Previous education - A little embarrassed, I decided to just fill in “homeschooled”
…..
Recruited by: Master Torr Snappit. Has it really been less than 2 months? It feels like we left home a lifetime ago
Something suddenly occurred to me: they had never even asked if we wanted to return to our uncle. Only this message, “Bug is dead and the other two will continue their studies in the Coruscant Temple.” No further questions asked or tolerated. I did not know if I should bring the topic up. If it wasn´t on Darovit´s mind yet, it could do more to upset him.
Another knot formed in my stomach.
The written part of the examinations did not turn out to be what I had to worry about. “Don´t be nervous. We just want to know what courses to sign you up for“, the supervisor told us before unlocking the exams on our screens. I was able to read and write Basic fluently (although the unfamiliar alphabet still tripped me up in the first moment every time). Math was a universal concept (as far as it concerned this age group), whereas Physics and Technology were too advanced to keep up and never my forte to begin with. Regarding Biology, History and Geography, I at least remembered a random collection of fun facts. The overall setting gave me deja-vue to the time spent at university in my previous life. In this reality, I had only completed remote modules in basic subjects, as well as looked up everything that caught my fancy on the holonet.
According to the nervous discussions that usually break out after exams, I hadn`t done too badly, for the most part.
I looked up all the official sounding terms during free time at the library. They seemed to sort us into the Republican remote school curriculum. Additionally, we were supposed to attend lessons in Jedi-specific subjects. Jedi training was actually going to be a full-time job. The long-term goal was to reach something homologous to GED at around age 16. For most of us, this timescale would probably turn out to be unattainable, since we missed so much of school already.
This time, an unknown Jedi led us through corridors that all looked the same. Those that weren´t fully recovered yet were excluded from all physical evaluations, so Darovit had stayed behind.
Behind large double doors lay what can only be described as a gym hall. One wall was occupied by rafters, and multiple adults turned around to watch us. A translucently pale woman with white hair gave a short speech. After again welcoming us to the Temple, she told us the plans for today. “Over there are racks with training weapons. Warm yourself up for 5 minutes, then get one that feels comfortable. I´ll only warn you once: They are no toys. Hits on the torso, arms and legs will sting a little. I will personally kick anyone from my lessons that aims anywhere else at this stage. The blades are powered down, but could still blind someone if you´re unlucky.”
Most were visibly excited to demonstrate their fighting skills. “Maybe we have to fight one of the trainers” “Some of you never held a lightsaber in hand before”, Enya corrected doubtfully. ”Do you think we´re in trouble if we fail” I could not help but blabber my concerns and felt stupid at the same time. Jikan looked at her feet.
When I took a hilt that just felt slightly too big, I felt something like a vibration inside. Apparently, Jedi can actually kind of perceive crystals. I always figured that particular piece of information to be fanon. I turned the hilt around fascinatedly, unsure if I should choose another one. Startled, I noticed that anyone else was already lining up, awaiting further instructions.
We were asked to repeat the beginner´s kata taught on Ruusan. When it was my turn, I felt all gazes bury in my back. I slowly went through the katas as well as I was able to remember and knew I was probably messing up. Hands slippery from sweat, it was hard to keep my grip on the hilt of the unfamiliar training saber. I definitely got the order of movements wrong sometimes.
In the end, they pitted us against each other in pairs of two for a light demonstration. I was matched with Eshan, and he nudged his neighbor, laughing. My stomach twisted. He was about 15 cm taller, although built slightly, and projected confidence. Quickly drying my palms on my shirt, I took what I considered a starting position. With mere luck, I managed to catch his first strikes, one of them in the rough direction of my face. Whereas Eshan grew more confident, that did not apply to me. I was forced to react clumsily and tried to make up in desperation for what I lacked in skills. It felt like he was constantly closing in on me, and I desperately stumbled back for breathing room. The needles in my head rendered me incapable of focusing on anything. When I did manage to block another strike from an angle he couldn´t put his strength behind, I got distracted for just one second…..Eshan´s foot hit my stomach and I was suddenly fighting for breath. Don´t let go….
Knight Syo called the match. Her gaze lingered a little on me, than she announced the next pairing. I dropped down on one bench and tried to ignore the pitiful looks and snickers.
Only some glimpses of the other duels were memorable to me:
Tanney was fast and resilient, apparently a real bother to fight. I never thought he had it in him and tried to commit that information to memory.
Jikan was not doing too well for herself, but was a fair opponent to her. He even helped her up after she lost her weapon for the second time and they called the match amiably. This weapon is your life, my exhausted mind could not help but supply.
Since we were an odd number, Enya gave a demonstration with the instructor. They were both quick and fluently graceful in a way I secretly envied. It even managed to distract me. She will probably have a new master soon.
The girls excitedly rushed out as soon as we were released and suddenly I was left alone with Eshan and his cronies. The older boy shoved me aside, and in a sudden fit of dizziness, I tripped over my own feet and fell. Now, I did cry in humiliation. They laughed and left without a care. Only Ratuu looked back, the scars on his face pulling into an unreadable expression.
When the world stopped spinning I slowly made my trek back, only getting lost once. Darovit, still dressed in light clothes from physiotherapy, noticed that I returned all alone and how I winced dropping down on a cushion. “That was Eshan? He told everyone how you´re apparently a clumsy crybaby.” A hesitant nod “When I´m back at training, I will punch his stupid face.” It took effort to answer him with a tired smile, when I did not know if I was sad or scared that the bane of my middle school years might start all over again. Still, it felt good that at least one person cared.
Soon after, I took a long hot shower to isolate myself, which felt like a blessing to my aching body. I rocked on my heels and tried to get a grip.
This is my second chance, and I already start messing up. I wanted to use what I learned in my previous life to finally open up to people and make meaningful social connections. I thought I would be less awkward with the experience of an adult. But apparently, everybody still notices.
I toweled myself dry and prepared to face everyone else.