Chapter Text
“We will be okay. Whether in this life or the next.”
I walked out of the last exam I would ever take in my life. School wise at least. With a new sense of accomplishment, I called up some of my classmates for a celebratory drink. We had all finished up our nursing program within the past few days, meaning we were officially ready to take on the working world. Some had already received their preferred placements, others were choosing to wait a year before starting. But me? While in school, I busted my ass to get every credential I needed to become a traveling nurse. The perfect job for anyone who doesn’t mind moving around from time to time and also helping people in need. I moved to New York to study, as it was the best place to practice working and treating people. It was nice and different from my hometown. There were some places in the other boroughs that resembled home sure, but overall between the busy people and huge buildings, it felt like a whole other planet. Once I met up with my classmates, they greeted me with hugs and laughter. We had each other throughout these tough few years so we became close, like a family. I ordered my drink and sat in the booth they had already picked out. As they talked and laughed, I zoned out for a little bit, absent-mindedly sipping on my sweet cocktail. My eyes wandered the bar, not sure what I was looking for but I found something that caught my eye. It was two women excitedly reading a poster, by a wall of other posters. They were dressed in all black, beautiful heavy makeup, and assorted piercings. I don’t know what I was hoping to find when I walked over to the poster they were looking at, but it definitely wasn’t a concert announcement for Black Veil Brides. I felt dizzy and not from the sickly sweet drink I just had.
“Shit shit shit.” I thought to myself. I read over the details. They were going to be here this weekend and the show after was a week away which meant they were going to stay for a few days at the very least. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my contact list. Before I could click on the highlighted number, my phone buzzed.
Hey, I hope it’s not weird but we’re doing a show in New York.
Maybe you’d wanna come?
Instinctively I looked around, wondering if I had a camera on me or something. But no, Andy was always good at knowing things. What to say and what to do. C’mon scaredy cat, text him back, I told myself. Andy and I stayed, friends, I guess. Our break up was over a year ago and it still feels like it was yesterday. I typed and erased and typed until I finally sent my message.
I’d love to.
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I spent the next few days walking a hole into my apartment floor, nerves getting the best of me. I just completed psych rotations for the last part of my program and yet seeing my ex-boyfriend for the first time in a year scared me more than anything I saw at work. My roommates Tabby and Kira, sat on the couch, watching me and taking bets to see when I would finally stop pacing. Finally, with an exasperated sigh, Kira stood and I felt her pull my hand, bringing me onto the couch with them. “You need to relax or we won’t get our deposit back for this apartment.” Tabby shook her head smiling as Kira hugged me tightly. “What gives? You are the most level-headed person I know, so something big must be happening for you to short-circuit like this.” I groaned stretching myself over them.
“It’s my ex.” I mumbled.
“I’m sorry what was that?” Tabby joked.
“My ex! He’s in town and invited me to his concert and I haven’t seen him in person since we broke up.” I groaned. “Since I broke it off...”
They watched me intently, highly invested in the drama. “Well, if you broke it off then what is the issue?”
“I didn’t want to break it off. I felt like I had to.” After I said that, I explained to my roommates what happened between Andy and me, even how we met. Once I finished my story, I looked over at them. Both of the girls looked like they wanted to cry.
“Are you serious Alex?! This is literally fate! You guys have to get back together.” Kira said, jumping from her side of the couch.
I scoffed, trying to hide my obvious hope in her comment. “What are you talking about? Didn’t you just hear me say we broke up because long distance didn’t work?”
“Yeah,” she said nudging me in the arm, “but that was when you were a busy student. You just finished your program and you’re a traveling nurse now. Which means you can go wherever you want, whenever!”
Shit, she was right. I groaned again and left the room. Behind me, Tabby yelled out, “Don’t give up on love!”
My room was a lot like my childhood room, just with a different color scheme. I had posters up, school notes scattered across my desk and my guitar laying by my chair. It was slightly dusty since I hadn’t had much time to use it these days. I picked it up and began wiping it down with some tissues, cleaning the body gently. As I flipped it over to clean the back a small square picture fell out. My body already knew it would be a picture of Andy and me before I even flipped it over because my heart did somersaults in my stomach. I never gave up on loving Andy. How could I? He was perfect in every way and I was the dumbass who was scared. I’m not scared anymore. I put the guitar down and grabbed my phone. After taking a deep breath, I put in a phone number and waited for the ring.
“Alex?”
“Christian!” I sighed in relief that he still had my number. “Andy told me you guys had a show here. Did you guys arrive yet?”
“Oh yeah, last night. He scheduled practice for the evenings so we could take advantage of the daytime. Me and the other guys are out now, but Andy’s back at the hotel, stressing over the songs like always.” A smile crept on my face. He hasn’t changed in that at least. “So what I’m trying to say is, his room number is 512 and you should go see him.”
Before I could respond CC had already hung up on me, leaving me stunned at his frankness. I checked the time. The number 2:35 lit up on my phone screen, which meant I had enough time to get dressed and get to the hotel before the band had to go practice. It was still springtime, so I threw on a cute flattering off-the-shoulder bodysuit top and my fitted jeans. I brushed my hair, thankfully I just washed it yesterday, put on some earrings and some light red lip gloss. As I walked out of my room, I was greeted by shrieks. “She didn’t give up on love!” Tabby yelled clapping as if I had won an award. I playfully pushed her and shook my head.
“Let’s just hope love hasn’t given up on me... Can’t say I would blame it if it did.” I took a deep breath and looked back at my roommates, who had hopeful smiles and thumbs up. “Wish me luck.”
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CC texted me the address to the hotel and let the front desk know I was coming so I wouldn’t have any issues. I walked up to the front desk, but the woman was on the phone, prompting me to wait. “Alex?” I froze and felt the air get knocked out of me. I turned and saw a familiar face walking towards me.
“Andy...” I let the words fall out, barely a whisper. He looked the same but also obviously different. He looked stronger, his body a bit more muscular, and his hair was cut more cleanly than the shaggy short hairstyle he had when we first met. I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander. Memories of every touch, hug, and kiss flooding back to me.
He grinned, “I didn’t think you would resort to stalking.” And just like that everything was back to the old days. My body moved on its own, and suddenly my arms were wrapped around Andy. I held onto him tightly, fearing this was just a hopeless daydream. When he wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged back, I knew it was really him.
“I’m so sorry. I’m an idiot. I don’t know why I thought it was better this way.” I began rambling and Andy only laughed, his deep voice sounding even deeper with my ear pressed to his chest.
“For the record,” He pulled back slightly to look at me, lifting my chin up. “You are definitely an idiot. But it’s okay because you’re my idiot.”
Tears began forming, “I.. am?”
“You’re not actually an idiot, beautiful. But why did you ask to break up if you regret it so much?” I broke from the hug and wiped the rogue tears that managed to escape.
“I was afraid we wouldn’t make it... Our relationship began with so much baggage and conflict and then we were separated for so long... I felt like we wouldn’t have a chance to have enough good memories. Kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy the more that I think about it...” I looked away from him, half expecting him to scoff or chuckle. The more I talked about it out loud, the less sense my reasons made.
But I instead of laughing, Andy extended his hand in front of me. “So then let’s have a new start.” I looked at him confused, but I took his hand anyway. “Don’t get me wrong, we will always have the past, the good and the bad, but if you want we can use right now to start over. Hi, my name is Andy. This is the part where I would ask for my cigarettes back, but I don’t smoke anymore.”
“I love you Andy.” I pulled him in by his hand and pressed my lips to his. His hands landed on my hips while my hands held his face.
He broke from the kiss, keeping his lips inches from mine. “I love you Alex.”