Chapter Text
Lilith was stuck. Not literally, she could move of course, she was a powerful witch that no one could hold down, but figuratively. In her head. She’d been stunned since she returned home from a field mission to capture a wild witch. A wild witch who was her sister.
A wild witch who she’d cursed and driven to this life.
Lilith doubted Eda would have become a wild witch if she’d had a choice, but who would allow a beast like that into a coven? Clearly she’d been left with no choice but to be wild. But that didn’t explain her words today. She was so against the Emperor’s Coven, so against the Emperor . Her words were treason! She was glad none of the other scouts had heard her, as they would have had to report it. As it was, Lilith simply reported that the witch had pushed her down and escaped before she could retaliate.
The Emperor hadn’t liked that, but had let her off with a warning.
Wild witches were dangerous. But… Eda wasn’t dangerous, was she? Well, her beast side was, she’d shown that when she’d attacked their father. And Raine. But apparently, she hadn’t attacked Raine? Raine was alive and well.
And cursed.
She’d cursed not just her sister, but her sister’s best friend. Her partner. She’d ruined their life. She hadn’t even had a good enough reason to curse Edalyn but Raine ? They’d done nothing wrong but take Edalyn away from her. And that wasn’t entirely their fault, Eda was allowed to have other friends. Lilith just… wasn’t used to it.
But it didn’t mean that they deserved this .
Oh. Her hands were shaking. She laughed hysterically as she stared at them before collapsing onto her standard issue mattress with its plain comforter that provided next to no comfort, thank you very much. In fact, she was pretty sure it was stuffed with old newspapers and plastic. It crinkled when she moved it.
But she didn’t deserve anything better, so she didn’t buy anything better.
Lilith’s room was filled only with standard issue items, and books. The one personalized item in her room was a family photo that part of her didn’t believe she deserved to have, but she couldn’t bare to part with. At least she could always be forced to remember what she’d done every time she stared at the face of her baby sister.
Maybe she should put up a photo of Raine beside it, now that she knew she’d ruined their life, too.
Raine preferred people thinking they were dead to knowing they were cursed. Then again, Lilith had heard about how others treated her sister, and she couldn’t say she blamed them. It should be her that people were treating like that. She was the one who cursed them. What sort of sane 18-year-old (now 20) did that? She’d wanted her spot in the coven, sure, but was it worth the cost?
And Edalyn was just going to let her have it, anyways.
Pulling her equally uncomfortable pillow over her face, she allowed herself to scream. Outside of these doors, she had to be perfect, punctual, put-together Lilith. But behind them? She could fall apart. Broken sobs escaped her as she thought about what she’d done, what her dreams and desires had led her to. She’d gotten what she wanted, but she’d never be able to take back the choices that led her here. Was it worth it? No.
But she’d have to make the most of what she was given.
And that meant bringing Edalyn in. Hopefully willingly. The Emperor promised her a cure. She’d confessed her misdeeds, expecting to be thrown out of the coven for such horrid actions, but the Emperor had understood . Said it showed her drive to be the very best that she could for her people. Admired it about her.
Promised he’d help her fix her mistakes.
She couldn’t do it on her own, she knew it. She’d read the original scroll with the curse front and back about a thousand times before eventually burning it in a fit of rage. There was no proof of the curse even existing now, no one else she’d asked had ever heard of something like it. That was probably the only copy. She prayed it hadn’t held the answer for a cure, but she doubted it. As much as she hated herself right now, Lilith knew she was thorough. She’d have seen something.
The Emperor was her only choice. He’d fix it, he had to. He was the most powerful witch on the isles, they’d all seen the miracles he could perform. He could talk to the Titan, after all! Not just any witch could do that.
How could Eda think him a fraud? She hadn’t said it directly, but her insults toward the coven itself could be taken as insults against Belos. Lilith just didn’t understand. The man did great things for them all. The covens helped organize them, helped keep things in line. A witch didn’t need all their powers, and those who did could keep them so long as they were upholding the Titan’s will. Sure, the spots in the Emperor’s Coven were limited, but the Titan would tell Belos if there was a witch deserving to keep all their magic. Surely.
Lilith had no room within herself for doubt. It was filled mostly with self-loathing and anxiety at this point. She’d always been anxious as a child - something her parents had refused to see in her, her mother too busy doting on Edalyn and her father always away - but it had only gotten worse as time passed, reaching its peak after she’d committed her crime. She constantly worried that someone would find out, that Edalyn would find out.
But the Emperor told her it was okay. He promised not to tell anyone. He’d fix it. He had to fix it.
She just needed to get Eda to listen.
Lilith would spend the rest of her life chasing her sister if it meant righting her wrong. And now she supposed she’d have to add Raine to that list as well. While they were less important to her, she knew Edalyn would never forgive her if she only got the Emperor to heal one of them.
She wouldn’t admit her mistake now, though. It could wait until she brought them both in. No one needed to know how greatly she’d fucked up, that she’d cursed not one, but two sixteen year olds.
Titan, she was a monster.
She felt her tears slow, not because she was no longer upset, but because she had nothing left to give. She let out a dry sob and rolled onto her stomach, deciding that she wouldn’t have dinner that night. She couldn’t go out like this. She needed to be presentable. And there was no way she could put herself together to go to the mess hall.
There was no need to put herself together tonight. Just for tonight, she’d allow herself to fall apart. Then tomorrow, she’d pick up the pieces, and start to plan. That’s what Lilith was good at. She needed a plan to bring her sister in, to get her to see sense. Soon, they’d be in the Emperor’s Coven together, side by side, like they’d always dreamed. Edalyn would forgive her, because she may have cursed her, but she also healed her! And Raine could go on to be a bard or whatever it is they wanted to do with their life, Lilith didn’t really care. She’d have her sister back.
She just needed time, and then she was sure she’d be able to draw her in and get her back. Everything would be as it should.