Chapter Text
Mysta was still.
The sharp edge of the kitchen counter digging into his lower back was the only thing keeping Shu grounded in reality. He raised a shaky hand, equally shaky fingertips touching quivering lips. Stained, he thought, by something I can’t understand yet. A smile played on their corner, out of his control, as he peeked at his omega through the messy ruffles of dark hair falling over his eyes.
His.
It had been agonizing, really. Sometimes, he would remember the night he had almost lost his mind. Like staring over a precipice, heels barely on solid ground, coaxed by an inherent fault in him. A glitch in his system, yet carefully designed. A festering stomachache.
And Mysta’s glimmering eyes the color of tropical whirlpools.
Shu wasn’t sure who pulled the other in first.
When he returned home, after that, he knelt on the floor for far too long. Regrets seemed to pile up like ghouls on his shoulders and he would sink lower, forehead against the cold tile and cry. At least once a day, like that. In his eyes, he’d snipped the rope keeping him tethered to the warm, alluring happiness he’d achieved. And for what?
He cursed the animal in him, cursed himself, for being weak, for being so lost.
Mysta’s scent would still flutter through the air sometimes. Shu imagined it would be turquoise if it had a color. Minty, with a bite. When it got too strong, Shu would sink his fangs into the soft skin of his forearm and sit still, fighting off the urge to go back and mess things up more.
Mysta didn’t want him. The omega in him did, but Shu craved Mysta entirely. Down to every tiny scar and every chuckle and flash of teeth and crude joke. It hurt, deep in Shu’s lungs, when he thought of him. The sun coloring his hair auburn and how it would stick up in the morning when he’d wake up, nestled against Shu’s side, acting like this was how it should be.
Then, Mysta would smile at him with cracked lips and leave, suddenly, like it meant nothing, while Shu wanted to roll him over and kiss the early light out of him.
Instead, he called out for a latte and inhaled the mint from the soft pillows.
Mysta stirred.
Motioned out of his reverie, Shu detached himself from the counter and went to kneel next to the couch, hands delicately in his lap. The rush of blind confidence had trickled out of his body in streams since Mysta knocked himself out, and he told himself not to cross any boundaries, even though most of them had been crossed.
It was hard, though. Mysta stirred again, shaking his head and murmuring something Shu couldn’t understand through the accent, so Shu leaned in, unintentionally, only to be met with cyan eyes shooting open. He flinched back, just a bit, letting out a sharp breath he didn’t know he was holding.
Mysta blinked, once, not moving the rest of his body, before his lips gave way into a light smirk. It was mischievous in a way, the type of I got you now smile that almost made Shu look away. Instead, Shu smiled back, timidly, hands clasping each other on his knees.
He opened his mouth, then shut it, then opened it again with a newfound sentence. “Your stomach still hurts?”
It looked like the question barely registered in Mysta’s hazy mind, and his irises darted back and forth, looking Shu in each eye for a moment before he lazily shook his head, as much as he could laying on his side.
Shu nodded, suddenly exhausted. He managed a crooked smile, even with glee thundering at the back of his eyes, his emotions were spent, yet Mysta’s lazy form and aloof smirk made something in his chest flutter.
“I’ll get you some tea,” he said, starting to lift himself up, “just in case you’re thirsty.”
Before he could fully stand, Mysta propped himself up and leaned off the couch, one warm hand reaching for Shu’s face to gently pull him in, their lips meeting.
Shu wanted to play coy, to avoid an answer, to not let the alpha in him leap off the precipice every single time. However, the flutter in his chest grew stronger, louder, raven wings against his fragile ribs. He deepened the kiss, just slightly, leaning back into Mysta’s space, and when he felt the other’s lips form a smile against his mouth, the realization hit.
Mysta wanted Shu to leap. To dive into deeper waters, make a show of it. He needed Shu to need him. Entirely.
The alpha in him growled, deep, guttural, and he could swear Mysta responded, a light gasp in between kisses.
Shu pulled back, taking in a shallow breath, not letting himself get carried away like last time. But there was something in Mysta’s eyes that stared back at him, a hint of annoyance, yet playful.
Mysta tilted his head in an exaggerated ponder, and Shu held himself back from eating him alive.
“Can I do that from now on, or?” His hands trailed from Shu’s face to cross behind his neck, pulling him closer while the other knelt. “You can say no, but I might lock myself in the bathroom again.”
Shu laughed, earnestly, warmth creeping up to his face.
“I don’t mind, no.” He barely got the sentence out before Mysta was on him again, tight kisses on his jawline.
Before he could lose his train of thought, Shu lightly grasped him by the back of his hair, pulling Mysta back. Disappointment flowed through the curve of his eyelids, and he stared back at Shu through sharp eyelashes.
Shu cleared his throat, disorganized. “Listen, do we need to talk, because I feel like-”
Mysta groaned immediately. “No.”
“I just think- I mean, we didn’t really talk talk about this, or, us, I guess.”
Mysta tilted his head again, just slightly, and Shu imagined if he had ears, they would be twitching in annoyance.
“What’s there to talk about?”
Opening his mouth, Shu was ready for a rebuttal, until he wasn’t, snapping the silence back into him with a click of his teeth. He looked away, eyebrows furrowed, and it was Mysta’s turn to sigh.
“Listen,” he started, his hands finding their way back to the sides of Shu’s face, “you like me and I like you. I’ve always liked you. I’m pretty sure you didn’t always like me, and that’s fine.” Shu was ready to retort, but Mysta tipped his head back so he wouldn’t. They both held each other, awkwardly, but it didn’t matter.
“I- you- ugh, we messed up, we were stupid, and we’re still very stupid, but that’s also fine.”
There was a playful glint in Mysta’s eyes until now, but suddenly, his smile dropped, light as a feather, eyes softening in the dim light. He relaxed his hold on Shu’s face, like he had a glass sculpture in his hands.
“I really do like you.”
It was saccharine, so casually honest on his mouth. Shu forgot how to breathe, then remembered, and forgot again, briefly drowning in those whirlpools of his.
The word love played on Shu’s lips. He tasted it, felt it like he never felt anything before, crushing his bones from the inside. Spelling it out with his eyes, he held Mysta’s gaze, jaw and heart quivering in unison.
“I’ll take care of you.” Was what came out, alongside a single tear in the corner of Shu’s eye. He felt, deeply, and his stomach started to hurt.
Mysta’s light eyebrows raised, fangs poking out when he finally smiled again.
“Woah.”
“What?” Shu said, sniffling back the moment of vulnerability. He felt like there would be a lot of those for him in the long run.
The other leaned in, free from Shu’s grasp on the back of his head. “Kinda cringe, I’m not gonna lie.”
Shu wanted to scream. And he did, with joy, and a hint of a growl, as he pushed Mysta back onto the couch.
Fuck the tea, it can wait.
Everything smelled like rain and mint. They didn’t notice.